Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel safe. I

hope you feel good about yourself. I hope you feel

supported, empowered, inspired, I hope you feel yourself is not

the most important thing. To feel that we are living our

truth expressing our truth. I believe that is so, so

incredibly important. What I'm here to do with my podcast is to

create a space for you where you can recharge your batteries,

reflect at rest. And make sure that you are on the right path

for yourself. Learn to set boundaries, learn to understand

who you are, and make the decisions that are best for you.

And the better you feel about yourself, the better person you

can be out there for other people as well. It is incredible

how when we try to be supportive of others and understanding

others. And if we don't feel good about ourselves, it is

extremely exhausting draining. Sometimes we even lack empathy.

And as soon as we start taking care of ourselves first, and

then once our batteries are fully charged, go out there to

help others support others inspire others. It is a way

different dynamic and it is way more sustainable. Make sure to

check out Aurora Eggert coaching, where you can find out

more about my coaching and how I could help you to become your

best version of yourself. And if you want to send a token of

appreciation, if you want to make sure that this podcast is

sustainable and keeps going, send me a coffee through buy me

a coffee, I have the link in the show notes. And I would so

appreciate support from you. And feedback. If you want to give me

a feedback, send me a review on Apple podcast. That's also

incredibly valuable for me to know what I can do differently

or what you especially value. In my show. I deeply appreciate you

and I'm so proud of you. For choosing this path of self

discovery. It is not always easy it is in fact very tough at

times. So if you're listening, I know that you are a strong

personality. I know you have a growth mindset because if you

didn't have those, then you wouldn't be listening. Alright,

let's dive into today's episode. I promised you guys on Facebook.

By the way, join me there Aurora Eggert coaching or just Aurora

Eggert, my profile, I'm always happy to connect with you and I

gladly take in Episode requests. This episode was kind of

requested by a listener and very dear listener. John, if you're

listening, thank you so much for being here. He didn't directly

requested but we had a discussion after last episode.

And this is why I decided to talk about our thoughts and

feelings and how they influence our life. What comes first?

Where do thoughts and feelings come for from? And how can we

influence them. It is so important to understand your own

mind. Because if you can use your mind to your advantage. You

can tap into your true potential you can be your true self and

you can make decisions that are incredible and valuable, not

only for you, but they're going to impact the people around you

as well. So where do thoughts and feelings come from? I want

to go back to when you were born. Imagine yourself

struggling your way out of the womb into this world. And just

imagine what happens in that instance doesn't matter if you

came out as a C section baby or natural through the natural way.

You were very well protected. You didn't have to ask for

anything. Everything was provided your In this beautiful

one womb that protects you and nurtures you, 24/7. And all of a

sudden, you are thrown into this world, you land on planet Earth,

hopefully smoothly, hopefully, without any big drama. It's very

interesting, a lot of therapy starts, like goes all the way

back to your birth. Because if you struggled throughout your

birth, the birth process, it deeply affects how you perceive

the world. So if, for instance, the umbilical cord was strangled

around your neck, and you were half dead when you came out,

right, because you didn't have enough oxygen, that's a pretty

rough start. And these people usually are the most crazy

goodest warriors out there, because they had to go through

so much struggle in the first couple hours on planet Earth

already, maybe you had a very smooth burst. Fact is that from

then on, from the moment on you were born, you had to start

communicating, your mom is not given a manual. And so as not

your dad, they both do their best, what they've learned from

their parents from society from I don't know how you call these

classes where you go, like prenatal classes, I think he

called them and they do their best and you do your best to

communicate what you need. Now, it is very important for you to

have your needs met, for you to have clothing shelter, for you

to have it warm enough, but not too warm for you to have water

and food, and sleep. So if you parents do a good job and jump

whenever you need food, or milk or water, then that's awesome.

But if your parents were busy with something else, maybe with

other siblings, maybe with trying to have enough money to

raise you guys to raise you, then it can happen that people

are distracted, and they can't jump whenever you need

something. And the point why I'm going all the way back is that

it is from an infant age, that you experience your environment

and you make certain conclusions about yourself first. Whenever

you're not being fed on time, your baby brain makes the

conclusion I am not important. I'm being neglected. Other

people are more important than me. And my needs don't matter.

Up until the age of seven, your consciousness, your brain,

everything you take in. You can imagine your brain, like a

little sponge like you suck everything in. And you make

conclusions about yourself. It is only later that you won't

make conclusions about other people, when they disappoint you

when they don't show up when they hurt you when they

manipulate you, then you will start making conclusions about

others. Sometimes it's as late as in your teenage years or 20s.

So we make certain conclusions about ourselves. And those are

beliefs, thoughts that we have about ourselves. Now they can be

very positive or very, very negative as you can imagine.

Also, the way your family raises you, your family has certain

belief systems, they might be a religious, they might be

attached to a status in society. It is very diverse. Whatever

your family values are and what your family believes in, you

will most likely copy and paste. And so it starts that our little

brain our mind is being conditioned to think a certain

way. It is incredibly important to go all the way back and to

explore the conditions and the thoughts the beliefs that were

planted into your brain and to when you are at this point where

you're at right now where he listened to this episode and are

very curious about what are thoughts and feelings come from?

That you ask yourself? If you were to imagine the beliefs and

conditions from your family as a little backpack? How heavy of a

backpack are you carrying? And is this backpack and everything

it has inside of it, serving you. Or can you start

questioning the thoughts and belief system that you have

about yourself and other people, society life in general the

world in general, because they're not serving you anymore.

So whenever something happens, we will have a belief system in

place, if you are a person who was a little bit neglected in

their younger years, and you felt that your needs didn't

matter. And later on you meet friends, you meet a partner, who

is just a little bit, you know, out there, extroverted, busy

with their own life, but super loving and kind, you will feel

abandoned or neglected once again, because you have

downloaded onto your little baby brain, that people that are

close to you, the first ones were your parents, your

caregivers, and now it's your friends and your lovers or

lover, that they will disappoint you and hurt you at some point.

And through coaching, we go back in time and we find out which

believe you have downloaded back then, which you are trying to

find a match to in your adult years. So in this case, we have

downloaded or needs don't matter, we've been neglected. So

this is going to happen in our relationships as well. And now

turns out that when you are in relationships, when you start a

friendship or with your long term friendships, you are fairly

insecure. And maybe even avoidant. Maybe you are

aggressively clingy. But it is because you went through that

pain in your early stages of life. So your thoughts are very,

very much attached to your conditioning by society, family,

friends, your environment. And it is possible to reframe, and

to override or change the belief system that you downloaded back

then in order to change your thoughts. But it is very hard to

change your thoughts and not change what you have downloaded.

In early years, it's kind of if you see your brain as a

computer, there's a hardware, the software, and we have to go

down to the hardware and reframe how you started seeing the world

back then in order for you to enjoy beautiful, nurturing

relationships in your adult life for you to see situations as

what they are instead of having preconceived thoughts about how

a love story is going to go down.

So your thoughts are so deeply attached to your body and to

your emotions. I talk about this in my first two seasons. And by

the way, my podcast is a progression. It's growth, it's a

progress. So if you're just jumping in today with this

episode, awesome, I'm so happy to have you. And if you get want

to get the most out of my podcast here, go back to season

one and start from there because you're gonna go through an

incredible journey of growth and getting to know yourself if you

do that, but they're in season one and two, I talk about how

your body is going to try to signal you in very subtle ways

that it needs something from you and if we keep ignoring that

with thirsty that with Chai or that we're hungry, that we're

feeding our food, our body with food that is not really

nurturing but just filling. Your body will come up with

sensations with pain with illnesses with discomfort and

that will affect your thoughts. It is coming out now through

intense scientific read research that your physical well being is

deeply affecting your mental health, your emotions and In

turn your thought process, the better your body feels, the

healthier you are, the more positive your thoughts can be

about yourself and other people. So I want to describe it as a

triangle. So at the tip of the triangle, you have the thoughts.

And then on the right corner of the triangle, you have emotions.

And then you have your body on the bottom left tip of the

triangle, and they communicate constantly. What I asked my

clients first in the first session is how good their sleep

is, your sleep is going to affect your mental health, but

intensely your physical health to an extent that is so

incredibly fascinating. It's, it's just so crazy good. If you

don't get enough sleep, your thoughts, the way you view the

world, the filter of the lens through which you see other

people and the world is going to be so dark and distorted. If you

don't get enough sleep, that some people really have a change

of character happening. If their sleep starts to suffer. And

again, go back to the triangle, your sleep usually suffers

because you are going through something your mind is racing,

your thoughts are trying to problem solve, and you're trying

to get some sleep at night, but you just are not tired enough to

sleep. And it's a total mess, and shitshow and vicious cycle

because if your mind is not at peace, your body will also not

want to rest because it's just not possible. And that triangle,

we want to keep in check in balance at all times. Because as

soon as the body doesn't get what it needs, it's going to

mess up with the mind. And the thoughts in doing so and the

emotions. And if you feel weird, emotionally, right now I'm going

through a situation where my father lost his best friend, and

my father is suffering intensely. And I'm so far away

from him, and I don't know how to support him. So intense pain,

because of loss and grieving of another person.

Trigger intense emotions of sadness, and powerlessness. And

that, in turn, affects my sleep affects the way I think. When

you go to your thoughts, we have preconceived thoughts, as I said

earlier, because we are conditioned by our society and

by our family, and this is why it is so incredibly important to

get out there and to travel. And if COVID doesn't allow it, to

meet people online or to watch documentaries, from cultures

from different backgrounds, because you need to keep an open

mind, in order to have a healthy mind, you need to understand

that every person has a different map of the world. And

if you want to deeply connect with a person, you need to

understand how they view the world. And when somebody

understands the way you sync, the way you make conclusions, it

is incredibly refreshing and you feel understood and loved,

right? So if you can do that for another person, it's incredibly

valuable in order to build healthy relationships. Now, all

this to say, relationships are our life. We're constantly in

relationship we are in relationship to ourselves, to

our body, to our environment, to nature, and to the people around

us. And the people around us are going to trigger thoughts inside

of us because we have maybe a painful memory to something that

they are doing right now. And it reminds us of something that

happened back then. And your relationship to time is also so

incredibly interesting to look at because your mind can travel

back in time and can also go into the future. Right when you

are anxious. What if what is going to happen? Uncertainty,

blah, blah, blah. You think about the future when you get

depressed and regretful you think about the past Do you

think about stuff that you have done or that has been done to

you. So your mind and your relationship to time is also

incredibly important to look at. Because you can travel in time,

you're not only in calendar time, we call it where you look

at your calendar, and it is June 28 4pm. Tomorrow is June 29

Aurorus. Birthday. And she's very excited to celebrate her

birthday, on a sunny day at the lake. So yeah, the calendar

time, that is the now and you have the mind time. That is,

wherever your mind chooses to travel to. And usually it

travels back in time, memory, disappointments, pain. And if

you know that your mind will always try to protect you at all

cost. It will cling to negative feelings and experiences you had

in the past, and will try to protect you from having to go

through that pain again. And sometimes your mind is trying to

protect you from stuff that happened in the past, to not get

hurt and the future to a point that it cripples you that it

doesn't allow you to be yourself anymore, that it is overly

protective. And that is another thing that we address through

coaching to see. Where are you at now? And where does your mind

spend most of its time?

Is it anxiously in the future or depressed in the past, and how

can we get you to enjoy the present moment and to see what

is in front of you and not some weird distorted version through

a filter. Another concept that is super interesting is your

mind location. You can also travel location wise, maybe

throughout COVID, you really didn't like where you were at.

And at night or even during the day you were daydreaming of

being in another place. Or you were traveling back in time to a

specific place. And whenever you drive through a place that is

similar, or reminds you of that place that you visited in the

past and something bad happened. Again, your mind is going to

come up with its protective system, and will try to protect

you at all cost and is going to have all the alarm clocks going

off. Because it doesn't want you to go through pain again. And

this is how we can explain anxiety. Anxiety is supposed to

protect you it's a good thing. But sometimes it's trying to

protect you from something that is long gone, that is in the

past. And of course you're not going to go through that pain

again because now you've learned from your experiences. So

sometimes your mind is hooked into a loop of negative thinking

and experiences and emotional pain because with negative

thinking, negative emotions will come up which affect your body

think of the triangle again. And to get out of the loop. You need

to do one degree changes, not 10, not 20, not 100%. But one

degree changes to slowly get yourself out of this negative,

anxious or depressed thinking pattern and to steer your system

your life into a direction that is true to yourself and not to

the version that is struggling and feels threatened and is in

survival mode. You are in a safe place you are in a good place

and you are about to break through. Because if you're

listening to this, if you're visiting Aurora Eggert coaching

and find out okay, there's a match there's something I want

to go deeper and with Aurora then we can get you onto a path

that is right for you away from those thoughts that are holding

you back and making you play small. All right, this was a big

episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope I was able to bring you

value and joy and inspiration and empowerment. You are so

incredibly precious and unique. And I'm always excited to

connect with you guys over Facebook, reach out to me, and

make sure to subscribe to my podcast here. Thank you so much

for being here. I'll be out there very soon again for you