00:00:06 Sana: Somewhere along the way, most of us have learned to live by committee. Now, this committee can be of any. Anyone. A committee of parents, committee of partners, friends, mentors, algorithms, strangers on the internet. Um, and that one inner voice that sounds suspiciously like a teacher we had at probably when we were twelve. Yeah. We started outsourcing our knowing like other people's certainty. It became dominating rather louder. And then decades later, one morning, or maybe late at night, you catch yourself wondering that whose life, whose template you're actually living in and you have been building. Like, are you performing for someone else? So yes, if something in you just just leaned in at that question or you thought immediately, yeah, exactly. This episode is for you.

00:01:18 Sana: So welcome back, dear listeners to the Mindful Living. I am Sana, and yes, today we are sitting with two questions that I believe they sound separate but are really one, how do we live longer in body and in spirit? How do we stop listening to everyone else long enough to live the life that is actually ours? And to help me with that, I'm joined by someone who has been doing this work for thirty nine years, listeners. So introducing Julie Hutton. She is a master teacher, a success coach whose entire body of work is built around one quiet conviction that when a person truly, truly experiences their own beauty and inner brilliance, not the egoic version. Yeah, that's the caveat in there, but the real one, everything changes. So Julie, welcome to the Mindful Living. It's such a gift to have you here.

00:02:21 Julie Hutton: Thank you so much, I appreciate you.

00:02:24 Sana: Beautiful. Beautiful. Judy. something which really, really intrigued me when I was reading the intro and I read your bio about you is, thirty nine years. That's almost like four decades of doing this work. It means that you have you have watched, you have observed a lot of people stand at the same threshold. And, um, you have said that your work has one central aim, uh, which is helping people experience a realization which is so deep and genuine, uh, that they can never see themselves the same way again. But then, before that pre, before that realization, um, what exactly is right now happening? Like what is the status quo? Uh, what version of themselves people are, you know, carrying when they walk into a room with you?

00:03:15 Julie Hutton: I think the, for the most part, We're all trying to be something that fits with approval in our society, in our culture, in our classroom, in our business office, whatever meets the approval and appreciation and keeps the attaboys coming. That's that's what we bring into the room. Mhm.

00:03:45 Sana: So it can be anything. It can be, um, trauma from past experiences. It can be like a generational trauma. It can be the weight of probably you are on paper, a high achiever, but something feels misaligned. Or maybe you're, you're wondering just kind of, you know, seeing what is happening around you. And maybe, you know, sometimes that, uh, fear or anxiety of, uh, becoming old or irrelevant, you know, quote unquote, the kind of, you know, it leans more towards the stereotypical or the labels kind of discussion. Uh, that's what you are trying to highlight here, Julie.

00:04:25 Julie Hutton: Yes. It's like we all carry something. It's like, I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. I should be better at what I, what I do, what I am. I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm, I'm, I'm too attractive. I'm too unattractive. Yeah. It just goes on and on. And if we could just remove all of that, which gets us to total self-love. Total self-acceptance. Sounds easy, but apparently it is not. It is not.

00:05:05 Sana: It is not.

00:05:06 Julie Hutton: It is not. Yes.

00:05:08 Sana: I would have said, you know, it is probably a few years back, but now I believe it is not. It's easier said than That. Uh, yeah.

00:05:16 Julie Hutton: Right.

00:05:18 Sana: and, Julie, and, before we get further into talking about something once again that I mentioned in the intro is about true self love. Before that, I just want to kind of, you know, understand from you. Um, and it probably could be a very silly question, but when we are kids, we yearn for getting, you know, growing up and enjoying, we see like, oh my goodness, the adults around me, they are enjoying their lives. You know, they are free. They command, you know, their authority. And when we are adulting, when we are growing up, you know, when we become adults and we, we actually get to test the real waters. We just feel like, why can't I go back to my childhood? it's, it's like, this very, it's kind of sometimes it feels like, you know, poetic or very pensive, or a kind of remorse that we set into, uh, into, sometimes probably late in the night or probably when we, we are getting nostalgic or when we are seeing, you know, young people around us. Why do you think it's like that? Is it is it because of how aging, longevity, childhood, all of them have been portrayed? Or is it something else or is it natural?

00:06:41 Julie Hutton: Well, I think childhood is generally it's if you if you are a teenager these days, you. You are yearning for for adulthood, but you have no idea what you're. Oh, what. Right. What's coming down the pike. And then once you reach adulthood, then you have all these responsibilities. And clearly right now we live in a very complicated, contrasting, challenging world right now that there are so many demands and so many expectations coming at us. And, and quite frankly, there's there is zero possibility of meeting all those demands, zero possibility of meeting all those demands. So what do we do? What's that's the challenge that meets every one of us.

00:08:00 Sana: Wholeheartedly, wholeheartedly, truly. I mean, I sometimes wonder just, you know, somebody give me a time machine and let me go back to you.

00:08:09 Speaker 3: Right?

00:08:10 Julie Hutton: Yes. But then you go back and then you have people controlling you. Mom and dad controlling you, families controlling you, classrooms controlling you, teachers controlling you. You just want to be free.

00:08:24 Speaker 3: Oh, um.

00:08:26 Sana: Now let's let's move on to talking about, uh, something which I believe, you know, um, it has been the meaning has got distorted. Actually, this word, this phrase gets thrown a lot around. You look at social media, you look at popular media, you look at the conversations around you, um, self love. It's more like this loud performative, the aesthetics of it, you know, like your perfect routine in the morning, your bathing routine or your, uh, wellness routine. But you talk about true self love. Julie. Uh, very specifically, not the echoic kind. Um, not the loud one, the real kind. And I think a lot of, lot of people, especially women who are listening, um, we do have that complicated relationship with this phrase. Um, it's like it has been marketed at us. Uh, you know, so much that the words have almost, you know, just I said distorted. So what exactly Julie is true self love.

00:09:33 Julie Hutton: Well, bottom line, I would say that you're so grounded in who you are, what's important to you, what your values are, that you ignore all the voices around you. You ignore what society wants to put on you. You ignore what even your family members want to put on you. You ignore all of the above and just focus on who am I? What are my values? What do I want to do with my life? And you're committed to that. You're committed to that. It's like another way to put it. You marry yourself. You marry who you are. And it's like, I'm going to take care of me. Bottom line, no matter what, and a lot of women have a challenge with that, and particularly women that have children. We forget that old adage, and this sounds so kind of corny, but it's you put the oxygen mask on your face first. You're in an airplane oxygen mask drop. You put it on you first. If you don't, you expire before you can save your children that are sitting right next to you. But the same thing is you have to take time out and, um, that you take a breather and that you don't view it as being selfish. And that's something that sold, I think, to a lot of women that if you take care of you, if you go your own way, then you're being selfish.

00:11:29 Speaker 3: Um.

00:11:30 Julie Hutton: Instead, instead of being a great model of self care and, and fully taking care of yourself.

00:11:41 Speaker 3: And you know.

00:11:42 Sana: I, you are absolutely, I mean, you're, you're hitting the nail in there because, and I also believe that I don't know, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, Julie, that, self care, it's not about being, inconsiderate or selfish or self-centered. and that's why I believe this phrase, somewhere down the line, it has lost its meaning that it's often associated, especially, uh, and this is really unfortunate, very stereotypical that, as a woman, you, when you talk about self care, it's all about, you know, yeah, you're having your, uh, you know, parler de tampering. Yeah.

00:12:22 Speaker 3: Tampering spa days. Yeah, yeah.

00:12:26 Sana: Um, that is not the correct version. Honestly. It's honestly, it could be a part of it. Uh, it could be, you know, because as you said, you know, kind of, marrying yourself, it's like you are just rewarding yourself. You have gone through a lot. Let's take a one hour of maybe, you know, something which you, you can actually, you can actually, uh, you know, afford and you can actually manage. But I also believe it comes with the sense of responsibility. Julie. The sense of maturity, that of, uh, probably sometimes your loved ones or, uh, you know, because when you grow up, you have, you know, hate it or love it, you have some responsibilities to, to take care of. And that's, that's what I believe. Julie. But I would love to.

00:13:21 Julie Hutton: Absolutely. Do you do have a responsibility? You bring children into the world and talk about responsibility and. Yes. Um, and so you do have a responsibility. And part of that responsibility is to model a healthy life model, a healthy, uh, competent, grounded life. If you're not taking care of you, if you're sacrificing your energy all the time, if you're sacrificing your creativity, your personal development, then then that's what you're modeling. And so then your children grow up going, well, I need to sacrifice. I need to sacrifice. No, no, they need to become the best, best person that they can be, the best individual they can be. And you don't know, you might have, you know, a you might be raising a brilliant scientist. Um, and if you're modeling sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, they may never become that. They may never invent a, you know, a new micro medication that goes into your heart and fixes things. I'm not a scientist, so I had to make that up really quick.

00:14:43 Speaker 3: So it's all right. It's all right.

00:14:47 Sana: And, um, you know, that's why, I believe that and it's nothing that, we have to always, you know, agree or, or, you know, go with what everybody is saying, because probably a kind of, you know, a different kind of meaning has been sold or marketed to us. For example, I, you know, I, um, educated, you are independent, you are working, you are ambitious that you want to build a career, but at the same time, also, if you have a dream of embracing motherhood and, for the fact that, you know, you are responsible for bringing up, a human, then it's not about sacrifice, but it's, it's, I think out of that love you are doing. And then you know that this person, uh, when they are growing up, they get that, that safety and support to build their own world out there. And it's not just that relation or connection of just depending on each other that you cannot survive without each other, but you can individually survive. You can also, you can individually thrive. I shouldn't use the word survive, individually thrive. And also you are in that symbiotic relationship as well.

00:16:08 Julie Hutton: Absolutely. And here's the thing. It's about it's about honoring your values, honoring your values. And. I have granddaughters that have the, a mother that is totally committed to being the best mother and providing that safety, that support the education, the nurturing. So what she is doing is a perfect match, a perfect match to her values. That's that's what going your own way is. You do what's right for you, what's right for. We're all. We're all born with an individual purpose.

00:17:03 Speaker 3: Right?

00:17:04 Julie Hutton: Yeah. And it doesn't mean. That's what I mean by go your own way. It doesn't mean matching becoming the scientist. Like there's not a scientific bone in my body. There's, uh. Yeah, it's. Or the, or the perfect mathematician or the perfect physicist or the perfect mother. You know, it's all individual.

00:17:30 Speaker 3: Individual.

00:17:30 Julie Hutton: But you have to know your, you have to know yourself and you have to know your personal values. And then you can honor them. And then honoring them is not selfish. It's being true to you and your path.

00:17:48 Speaker 3: Absolutely. Absolutely.

00:17:51 Sana: and before we wrap up, I mean, you love talking about longevity and that's what is the central theme of, today, our conversation today. And I want to ask you, Julie, the version of this, uh, because, most of the longevity discussions, they are about the body, the hacks, um, sleep food supplements, biomarkers. Um, yeah, it all, it all matters. they have their important individual role to play in here, but because you have spent four decades, uh, watching what actually keeps people alive, uh, like in the fullest sense of that word. Um, what are we missing about longevity? Julie like, what's the inner ingredient that even the. The supplement stack cannot replace.

00:18:41 Speaker 3: MM.

00:18:42 Julie Hutton: Aliveness. A twinkle in your eye is aliveness. Here's the thing too, though about longevity. I think we all. This may be very controversial, but I think we all come. To this life with a game plan. And maybe we even have a predetermined exit point. Okay, that no matter how many vitamins we pop or how many push ups we do, or how great our optimism and positivity is that when when we're scheduled to to go, we're scheduled to go. However, that said, I got turned on to longevity. Um, like actually. I'd say it must have been the late eighties to early nineties when I attended a longevity retreat that was put on by, well, this will be controversial to a channeler by the name of Lazarus in San Francisco, California. And it was a week long event and there were a lot of meditation. It was a very spiritual type of event. And within the meditations, um, I came to access. And do I know that this is true? I do not know that this is true. I came to access that. I would live to one hundred and twenty four. How do I know that? How do I know that? That I don't know that that is true. Is because I am not one twenty four yet. So that. So the results of that is yet to be seen. But it told me a lot. There were a number of other things. And one of the, uh, meditations we did was to discover what act, what parts of our body was, was most at risk. And for me, it was my feet and my back. And I was still quite big in my career. And a woman and wearing, you know, three and four inch heels. I immediately went back to the Seattle area and bought three pair of flats black, red and navy blue.

00:21:39 Speaker 3: Okay, because.

00:21:39 Julie Hutton: I was determined, I was like, okay, I'm going to take care of my feet and my back and, you know, and just a number of things. And it shifted my attitude. So that was all. Didn't have anything to do with supplements. I, I tried supplements off and on, but I could never really get into it. Um, I'm actually very, extremely healthy at this stage of the game. Is that what's the reason for that? What's the true reason for that? Do we have a scientific measurement that we can say. Um, and I have several decades in. So um, there's still so much to learn about longevity. Is it the biomarkers? Is it the supplements? Is it the positive attitude? The truth is, nobody really knows yet. Yet. Maybe we'll never know. I don't. The moral of the story, I think, is live the best darn life you can every moment right now. And that brings me back to self-love. If you fully are taking care of you fully and completely, you're the greatest model for your family, for your children, for your workmates, for everybody around you. Because then you're fulfilling You're fulfilling your destiny. What you came to do, what? Who you came to be in this life?

00:23:36 Sana: Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, who did.

00:23:39 Julie Hutton: You come to be in this life?

00:23:43 Sana: Oh my God. Yeah, that's I think that's a huge question. Huge question. I'm still I'm still learning. I'm still discovering. Right.

00:23:52 Julie Hutton: Well guess what, so am I. So am I. It's an ongoing process. It's like a flower that takes forever to bloom.

00:24:03 Sana: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. so before we conclude, Julie, unfortunately, if, if our listeners, wants to keep who want to keep learning from your work, stay close to what you are teaching, uh, maybe they have their own experiences and thoughts to share with you how they can connect with you.

00:24:24 Julie Hutton: Sure. Julie Hutton coaching dot com. Julie Hutton coaching dot com is my website. I give away one free scholarship to a three three day private retreat. Private meaning just me and you. For three days together in Northern California. Because I want to facilitate more free, happy, creative, self loving, truly self loving people in the world so that. In. Um. Send me an email and invite me.

00:25:19 Sana: Of course, of course. So yes, listeners, you heard from Julie and yes, you know, I'm going to have all the links mentioned in the show notes, so just find them attached along with this episode. And, uh, Julie, thank you so much for this very, very interesting, refreshing, uh, generous, you know, conversation that we had. So I really, really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

00:25:44 Julie Hutton: Thank you so much. You were just really fun to talk with.

00:25:49 Sana: Oh, great. And listeners, thank you for being here. If anything, Julie shared what we just discussed today. It found a quiet place inside you. Um, you don't have to make a decision immediately. Just let it settle. Let it be there. And, uh, yes, this has been the mindful living. I am Sana, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Thank you so much.