Leaving beers and shit at someone's place when you go over for a party

or whatever. Are you pulling your beers out of the fridge? People can know that you're capable without

you physically saying, yeah, I can do all of this. If you keep putting your

Never be disrespectful to a man in front of his family or

I don't think there's times anyone deserves to be disrespected. There's times that people

If a mate opens up to you and tells you something pretty serious when you're

If they're your boys and you're going into that state where you feel comfortable enough to have

Welcome to the Better Bloke Podcast. I'm Matty. I'm Rob. And

we're just a pair of average blokes on a mission to try and be a

We're going to speak about all things highs and lows of what it feels like to be a bloke,

plus speak to some legends along the way about what it takes to be a better bloke. Let's

We've been able to get a couple epic partners on board to help with the Better Bloke

mission, but we want to take a minute to give the members of Bloke's Advice and

ourselves a bit of a pat on the back. The charity process started 12 months

ago, and obviously a lot of our time has gone into this, but

the merch has been a massive driver in keeping the ball rolling with Better Blokes, as

well as getting us to events like the 2500 Boost display in

Canberra. If you're chasing new threads, head over to blokesadvice.com and

every order is helping this mission that we're on. Welcome back. Um,

on this one, we're going to get stuck into some bloke etiquette, the unspoken

rules of things that happen between blokes, things that we just see,

do or act out. Um, what

Probably a big one to start off with is thrown back to everyone's

Friday King, Dave. Uh,

He does, you know, it's not a weekend without Dave saying, but

he says, stay out of prison, stay out of hospital,

Your mate's missus. I think that's pretty cut

and dry. Yeah. Like if it's your mate's missus, that's

probably a no-go zone. But

That's also a no-go zone in my eyes. Yeah,

you're probably right. Yeah. I mean, it depends on how close

All right. So role-play this situation. Yep. You know, you

got, you got your mates, you got your boys and sometimes they got boys outside

your boys. Yep. So you go to a barbecue a couple of times a

year and there's always a guy there that, you know, you're friendly with, you

get on, you might dap him up a little bit. How are you doing mate? You don't talk

to him at all outside of that. Might be follow each

It's more off the table, I guess. But yeah, he's not one of

your boys. If he's your boys, you don't do that.

No, no line. Just if he's your boys, don't

I mean,

nothing says boys like being family, I guess. So,

I don't know. There's going to be times when you've

probably got boys that you don't want getting with

your sister. I can't comment because, you know, only child type

shit. But I don't know. Is

there times when you maybe go, shit, I don't want

this boy getting with me sister. Because that's a bit, they've sort of got

something over you then, don't they? Kind of. I've got a little sister.

Yeah, I can comment, I guess. Like, I

don't really give a shit who she wants to sort of be with. But

if it was one of my mates, like you said, there's some mates that

I'm like, okay, he's my mate because he's a

good dude. And he's probably better than some of the shit that you're

Or there's some mates that I'd be like, Not him. Like,

The loose mates. I've heard too many stories. Not

going to end well. But I don't think it's off the

cards at all. I think it could actually be a good thing. Because

then like, you know, that your family's with someone that you've sort of already

That's not a bad way to look at it, like you have vetted them. Not that you

think about vetting mates, but it's just something you subconsciously do,

I guess, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, I've never thought of it like that.

Not that I've ever had to, like I said, no sisters, no brothers, so. Yeah,

Your dad? Look, I think if it's just like a leisure thing, and

your mate wants to jump in bed with your dad, probably fine.

Nah, it gets weird. It becomes like a power play over

Yeah. Yeah, honestly, I can't even

relate to that one either. You know, single mom shit.

Let's, let's kick it off to something else. Um, all right.

So. A big one that is often

spoken about is the etiquette behind leaving beers

and shit at someone's place when you go over for, for afternoon

Yeah. I guess it depends. Like, are you putting them in the fridge or?

Like if you leave beers in the fridge and then you head home that

night, are you pulling your beers out of the fridge to

take them with you? Not a chance. Nah, you look like a bit of a dog.

If you're pulling three beers out of a fridge, thanks for having me.

Like it's fine. Something I've been

doing lately, especially for those bigger sort of get togethers, and

a lot of boys are doing it, is bring your own Esky. Like if

you're rolling in with a whole carton, like bring an

Esky. Yeah. And that way it's sort of like pretty chill.

Yeah. And you'd be surprised. You wouldn't be

A lot. That's probably, I reckon one of the main things

behind an Esky is you've got somewhere to sit. So. Okay.

Go on. Taking piss to a party. Bottles

of spirits. Does that change it a little bit? Yeah,

Yeah, I think so. And the other thing which is kind of plays

into the spirits is like, sometimes you want to prepare for

a big night, right? When it might not be, but you

don't want to be that dog that's like, Oh, I've run out of beers. Can I have

some? So it's probably the right thing to

do to take too much. Like if you take a whole bottle of JDM and

you end up drinking a quarter of it, I

But then, see, I don't know, because it's sort of like, your

way of repaying the favour from them hosting the party. Are you

going back to help them clean up? You've

Yeah. So like, that that person is just, you know,

had the drinks or had the party, they're cleaning up in the morning. So it's a little bit

Size of gathering then. Let's say it's just a dinner and it's like three

couples hanging out. Yep. You know, you roll in,

you bring a bottle of Jacks and you go through a third of it

Yeah, you probably take your bottle of Jack with

Yeah, probably. I think if it was like,

if you took a half full bottle and it was like a third full, You

know, just leave it for them. But, and

this is a grey area of etiquette. I think it's

Well, I think you just do whatever you feel is the right thing

to do in that situation. I guess it's, if you're going to do it,

just back yourself. Like. I

don't know. The whole leaving three beers in the fridge though. If you're taking three

beers from the fridge, don't do that.

Everything's expensive. Yeah. Which this leads me on

to why I actually wanted to do this episode. So a

big one that's I think a pretty fair rule for everyone is

I don't know about fill up. You at least put fuel

in it to get it to where it was at. You don't necessarily have to fill it

At least. Very dog move to leave it empty. Yeah. Right.

I like, you know, if you just borrow on it to do a run to Bunnings or

something and it's, you're literally having it for an hour. Sure. Just

top it up a little bit. I think if, you know, someone's giving you something

for a day or two, maybe you need to get around a city that you're visiting or

you're moving house, something like that. I think it's a good move to like fill

Yeah, if you've borrowed that car for a significant period

of time or it's like getting you out of the shit, yeah, right thing to

do is fill it up. But in saying that, fuel is fucking

I borrowed this car the other day, right? I had it for about

24 hours to move. I

got it, probably had about a third of a tank in it. Yep. I'm like,

all right, cool, cool, cool. I'll fill the thing up. So

I used it, probably got it down to like near empty. So I used

a fair bit. And then in that situation, I

would always fill it up to full. Except this fucking thing

was a Prado with a 90 liter tank and it's petrol and

fuels $2.35. Yeah, that's... It's a

That's a predicament. It is a predicament. What

That's a lot nicer thing to do. But did you, did

Oh, way, way past. Went to like three quarters. That's, that's fine. But I broke my

Yeah. But you went

past where you got it. So that's. Now that's some

What about some like rules for life? Cause that gets spoken about in the

page a bit as well. It's like one was raised the

other day and I think it's something I've never actually heard said

before, but it was resoundingly true.

And is it, if a mate opens up to you and tells you something pretty serious when

Yeah, I think that's a really, really good thing to do. As

much as probably getting on the piss isn't always

a great thing. It is a pretty good social lubricant. But

yeah, you definitely want to follow it up when you're sober. A lot

of the time, a sober mind doesn't speak

the same as a drunk mind. So you might have to drill a

little bit deeper into it. But yeah, you definitely want to

Yeah, it takes a bunch of peers and it's two, 3am

around a glass table at the back of someone's place to say

some pretty open stuff. Like I've

been there so many times. And then it's easy

not to follow that up. Yeah. Or like, just be like,

I think everyone's been through that stage where you

get a little bit pissy with the boys. And

it always ends into like, it just becomes a DM sesh. And,

you know, you hear about girls doing this all the time and whatnot, but blokes

do it too. I think the big thing is, I'm probably,

yeah, I probably haven't done it myself either, but you

never really follow it up afterwards. And I don't know why you just

sort of brush it off as, oh yeah, it was just drunk chat, whatever.

But yeah, I don't know why, why you don't really follow it up.

Yeah, that's why when I read this I'm like, it hit me kind

of hard because I can recall so many of these late

night D&M sessions where you start talking

way deeper than you usually would and no one

follows that shit up with me and I don't follow that up with other people. But

how would I feel if someone, you know, a couple of days later was

like, Hey Matty, like I remember you said

XX and X, just wanted to check in on this or

do you need help with this? I'm like, fuck, that

Do you reckon that's a little bit to do with the, like,

you don't remember your DNMs or it's just that part that

you sort of just push it down and you go, okay, we won't, we won't worry about that. It was just drunk chat.

I think you definitely remember him, not always, but

like a lot of the time you will remember him. It would be

easy to write it off as just drunk chat or

like bringing that world into the sober world seems like

a weird path you don't want to cross. It's like, he told me

that in a state of vulnerability. I don't want to bring it to him outside

of that. I don't know if he wants to talk about that. I think you just got to

push, push through it. Drunk thoughts are, drunk

Yeah. Yeah, that's a, I don't know.

Because it's, because it is a vulnerability state, you're sort of, you

don't want to get your boys back into that vulnerable state, but at the same time,

Yeah, no, fuck it. If they're, if they have to drink half a carton to

Yeah. You probably shouldn't be drinking half a carton to get there though.

Even if they don't need to talk about it, it'd be nice to know that someone

else is actually aware and gives a shit enough to follow you

Especially if like, if they're your boys and you're going into that state where you feel comfortable

enough to have a drunk DNM. You should feel comfortable

enough to have a sober DNM and they should sort of reciprocate that.

So yeah, that's started to make me think about any

DNMs I've had with the boys over years on the piss. And

I probably didn't follow up anything, which

Yeah, I'm going to put it into action. So if anyone wants to get super pissed and

So, yeah. Nah, shit. You're making me think. Which

seems to be a bit of a thing that we do on this. You're making

me think a lot more than I need to. So, yeah, shit.

Recurrent theme. What other rules for life are

there? Some stuff that every bloke should

sort of know and abide by, even

What's, what's your thoughts on like

blokes just respecting themselves as a, I don't know,

So they just, they probably don't put that self-worth on themselves or, you know,

they, they compare themselves to a lot of guys and I

guess different aspects of life that may be in a different scenario,

or they may be at a different point in their life and they go, shit, this person's got this. I'm

only at this stage. Do you see that as a bit

Yeah, I think comparison is going to put you in a bad spot. Like you can't

compare yourself to other people. You don't know if you're

comparing yourself to old mate who's just got 300 grand gifted to

him as an inheritance. Like you don't know this

stuff. So you don't know what he's had to do.

Maybe he's working 18 hours a day. Maybe he got given a heap of

You don't know what's happening in the background. We're all different. So you

can't really compare yourself whether or not

that's why you're having troubles with your self-worth. I

don't know. Comparison is

a bad way to get poor self-worth. Some

guys just internally are just not feeling like they're good enough because

that can be a whole bunch of reasons. Maybe it's because they just know they can do better. then

it's negative self-worth based on

unrealistic expectations on yourself. And we sort of spoke about

that a couple episodes ago when it was sort of the

meaning of life and blokes overestimating

what they're able to do in a short term. and the delayed

gratification of actually sticking it out long term. So

maybe they're caught up in that very start bit and they're

struggling with the hurdles of making themselves feel

Do you think that's something that could come down into bloke etiquette

is not flexing what you've got towards other

blokes? Like, you know, just sort of be humble about

Yeah, I think being humble is pretty important. I

know boys love their toys and they love to show them off. So,

you know, that's a flex, but yeah, it is going to have negative impacts

You still want to be proud of what you've worked to achieve, I

guess, but there's a bit of a fine line between yeah,

flexing on someone that, hey, look what I've got and sort

Yeah, I got in, I dropped an Instagram comment a

couple of weeks back because there was this guy and he was a very established,

achieved athlete, like doing well, like

this guy's worked hard, he's achieved well. And he was talking to these people

that were sort of Ah, you could call

them fat leftists. And they were saying like, is

some of the content you've done harmful? And he's like,

look, yeah, maybe like I've posted photos of myself

topless and I got abs and like, maybe that made some people

feel uncomfortable. And I'm like, no, you

can't downplay your own achievements just to make other people

feel better. Don't rub it in their face, but

don't downplay all that hard work you've done. to

Yeah, I think downplaying what you've done. Like,

just say, you know, he's taking his shirt off and he's got a bit of a rig on him.

I don't see that as a flex. Like, he's celebrating his success, I

guess. Like, he's worked hard for that. Where if he was probably

calling out everyone for being a mess, maybe

then it's a bit of a flex. Yeah, I guess that's that fine line

where, you know, what's flexing and what's celebrating

Yeah, I just don't see... You

shouldn't not be proud of what you've achieved because of how it makes other

people feel because they haven't done the work. If

you haven't done the work, don't complain that someone else has and has got the benefits.

Yeah, I rate that like so much. Be proud of what you've

Back on the self-worth thing, I think a

rule for blokes that is

important is authenticity. Actually

being who you are and being

comfortable with the people you actually want to be around. Because if you're portraying

this sort of image that's not authentic to who you are,

you're going to start attracting people that

probably shouldn't be around you. might be more people, you

might have this circle of 10 people, you might have all these things that you don't

really want because it's not authentic to you. And how's

that going to compare to having a smaller circle and

less things and doing maybe it's

different career, maybe it's different whatever, but it feels

You also want to put yourself in those circles that

are going to bring the best out in you. So if,

if you're the smartest person in a room constantly, you're

in the wrong fucking room. You want to put people, you

want to be with people that are always going to try and bring the best out of you, even if they

may not necessarily be your people, but that's what you want to become. I don't

see any issue in surrounding yourselves with those

types of people but you definitely you

Yeah well you just said it if that's what you want to become yeah that

You know if you're doing it because you want people to think

you live in that sweet life so you're hitting the clubs but

really you want to be like out hiking or like doing

whatever it is you want to do. You're not gonna get

that same fulfillment out of what you're doing, because it's

not authentically, genuinely what you want to do. True

Never be disrespectful to a man in front of his

Yeah, fuck yeah. If anyone

ever disrespected me in front of, like, the missus or

the kids, obviously pending the situation, that

would sort of back me into a corner where,

yeah, they're probably not going to like the outcome. But,

yeah, I don't think you should ever disrespect it. Well, I mean, you shouldn't disrespect anyone.

That's probably a good point to play. Like, just

I don't think there's times anyone deserves to be disrespected. There's times that

people deserve to get put in their place. But,

I don't know, if you're knowingly going

out disrespecting people, you're a shit person.

That's true. Yeah. Would you rather a bloke pulls

Nah, you don't do it in front of someone's kids. So definitely not

like, you know, you can pull someone aside and go, Hey, can we

have a chat away from kids? But you're like,

your kids are going to look up to you. If they see someone pulling you aside and putting

you down or putting you in your place. In my eyes, there's sort

of that, I don't know, your kids are sort of looking at you in a different way.

No, I don't have kids, but I imagine like, imagine

like a big family barbecue and there's like one bloke that's sort of

maybe a bit too chirpy and he starts talking shit on you sort

of in front of everyone. Like obviously he's a shit bloke, but it's

kind of worse that he's doing it in that sort of

situation. Like if it was one-on-one, a couple of boys at

the bar or whatever, it wouldn't have the same connotations as

Nah, you can sort of walk away from it wearing the bar bit.

Yeah. If someone's doing it blatantly in front of your kids. Yeah,

you're probably going to throw hands. Not in front of your kids, but

yeah, it's, it puts you in that frame of mind that a

lesson needs to be taught about respect, I guess. So, but

respect is one of those things where like respect is

not given, but there should still be. That mutual respect,

I guess. Just, you know, you should always respect another

bloke. It just depends the levels of respect that you're going to

Next one. I'm super guilty of this. Don't let your

Now I... That could be seen a few different ways. You

I know where your brain went just then. But

I have a little bit of a habit of saying yes

too much, struggle to say no. It's mostly like

work stuff or helping people or whatever. No shit. Yeah.

And yeah, you do get into this situation where you're trying to See,

I wouldn't call myself a people pleaser, but I like people

knowing I'm capable. So I say yes to all this shit. And

then it does get to the stage where it's like, oh, my mouth

has overloaded my back. Like, how am I actually going to get all this

People can know that you're capable without you physically saying,

yeah, I can do all of this. Like, you

sort of, if you keep putting your hand up to do everything, People

are just going to take the piss and start offloading everything

Yeah. So, I guess that's one of those things where,

I guess that comes back down to that, what we were speaking about just before with self-worth. Like,

you need to understand your time is worth

something. Stop putting your hand up for everyone

else to do other people's shit. Like, prioritize yourself. That

goes for everyone. Always prioritize yourself. But

I got a new line to counter request with.

Fuck off. No. Oh, okay. Because you want to

Yeah, but some of it's like jobs and work and stuff like that. So you

want them to keep coming to you for those, those

Yeah, I don't know. I'd rather just say no. Yeah, burn

the fucking bridges. Yeah, fuck it, we'll find another way. Yeah,

no, I think that's something else as well. It's sort of

bloke etiquette. If

you're constantly saying yes to people, you're sort

of shooting yourself in the foot. You need to be able to say no. People respect truth

more than they respect trying to appease everyone all the time.

you're going to get more respect that way. Where if you're just going, yeah,

I'll constantly do this, I'll constantly do this. People just go,

Yeah. Keep taking the piss. And I think it devalues your time as well. So,

you know, I've had to, since we started doing the charity and all that stuff, definitely

pick and choose a little bit more. And by

saying, You know how busy I am. I

can't do this. Yeah. Yeah. It actually puts

more value on your time and people are like more

We definitely are burning the candle at both ends. It

makes it good, but I don't know. I think it's, it

sort of feels worthwhile because of how

much good we're seeing it do at the same time. So it's sort of, I think everyone's starting

to understand and respect that the time we are putting in. Like

you said, they are sort of starting to put more worth on the time that we're actually giving them

Well, let's finish on that. So we've been doing

this about two months now. Yep. Bit over. And the

feedback's been really good. Like we've always said, this is a

marathon, not a sprint, but you know, we've got the first

live event done and dusted. We pulled that off. We've

done a shitload of podcasts. The social pages are growing. We've

got new events on the horizon. We've booked

some speaking engagements. Um, so the

We're actually doing the charity thing, which I think is, that's, that's

something that, you know, one of the great men behind

the scenes of this establishment said that we need to

celebrate the wins. And I think everyone needs to celebrate the wins. So we've had

lots of little wins leading up to exactly where

we're sitting right now. We need to take

a step back and, you know, focus on them, like understand,

like, shit, we've, what we're building, like we've actually done

a fair amount in a short period of time, which is amazing.

So I think that's something good that everyone needs to, everyone

needs to focus on the wins, no matter how small they are. Just,

you know, if you stack a whole bunch of small wins, that's a big win in the

It's been happening maybe every three or four days, like, you

know, this next email comes in, something's happening. And

when it is happening every three days, it's like, oh, okay,

we have momentum, we're moving. And yeah,

it's an awesome sign to see that we sort of created this thing,

put it out there, because there was a bit of anxieties at the start of how

are we going to transition from bloke's advice into this sort

of real like helping men sort of space, because there's

a point of difference. To see it unfold kind of

It's, I think, powerful, sort of understating it

a little bit. Like it's, I don't know, what's a bigger

word than powerful? Because that's what it is. Like, you know,

just that feeling that, I don't know, I'm

sure you felt it too, but when we did that first event, there

was just this feeling of like, you know, shit, we're, like,

we're doing it. The conversations we had are there and like the boys, like

the boys opened up and it was fucking amazing. The fact that

we've built an environment where, I guess

like Bloke's advice is that environment where men can open up, but once you take it off

the screens and you can physically see the emotion when boys

are talking and there was that comfort. And

there was a safety behind boys being vulnerable in that state that they were like,

oh, I can talk about this. There's no

word that can describe that. That's something that we've built,

And on that note, Better Blokes is sort of grown by

your support, much the same as Bloke's Advice. Better Bloke is a

community of guys and we're just sort of leading that charge to do

more and more of this stuff. So thanks for watching again. Keep supporting

us. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, the

whole works. Yeah. Thanks

Be better. Thanks for tuning into today's episode of Better Bloke. If

If you want to learn more about everything we're doing, head to the description, hit

the links and follow us on the socials. If you want to learn more about the project,