This is a global Player original podcast.

Right.

I'll be bringing my closer players.

Babes for sake, can you hear me now?

Yeah.

I want you.

Sometimes you have a tendency to lean.

Back and go, hello.

At least I don't play with my mic stand like some people.

Yeah, I know.

This is becoming a real group.

Hello and welcome to Amber and Vogue.

I don't care.

Amber and Poke the pod.

It's Amber and Vogue.

I can't do Vogue and Amber Emo.

It's really difficult.

It sounds better.

Amber and Vogue.

I agree.

But it's okay we say Mama Neil, because lmn.

Ln.

Exactly.

This is what I said to everyone to begin with.

They're like, no, it should be.

And I'm like, it shouldn't be Vogue for us.

It feels really unusual.

And I'm taking and I'm making the executive decision.

Welcome to.

To Amber and Vogue.

Welcome.

Welcome to Vogue and Amber ftmo.

That's featuring Amber.

That's short.

FT Full Stop actually is short.

Who's Amber come as today, huh?

Some little cute country singer?

She's gorgeous.

What's your one's name?

Who's gonna.

Who's doing stuff for Donald Trump?

Carrie Underwood?

Okay.

Okay.

Every week I've been caught in the hop.

This wasn't supposed.

I was supposed to be out with Swiggy, our dad's friend.

Every time he comes back from San Francisco, he contacts us to meet up with us because he's just a lovely guy like that.

And I had to burn him to come and do this.

He actually texts me and he was like, thank.

I don't have to meet that whingy.

And I said, swiggy, I know.

Listen, I don't think I have his right number because my messages aren't delivering to him.

That's exactly.

He's blocked you.

Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Amber, tell me about your week and if you.

Week.

I just.

I can't help it.

It is what it is.

Okay.

I still haven't got my mri.

I'm going to the doctor on Friday anyway.

But it's not for my.

I have my MRI ref referral, so I'm going to.

For some lady things.

My week has been tame because unlike some people, I'm still adhering to January.

That's dry.

Oh, how's.

How's yours going, Vogue?

Well, kind of you to ask.

Actually, I found myself in a really, really.

I actually, I found myself in a position that was difficult to navigate.

I went to a child's birthday party in the Dorchester.

Someone had their child's birthday party, I know in the Dorchester.

And I knew this one was going to be good.

So I made sure I was ready and ready to go for that.

I.

I dragged them to go ape.

I mean, anyway, we had a great time there too.

What a way to break Joy January, I suppose in style.

They were.

They were serving Verve champagne.

And I, my mother, I thought, what would Sandra do in this situation?

And I'd let.

She'd let those bubbles tickle her nose.

That's what she'd do.

Of course she would.

I couldn't say no to it.

Like, free verb.

I was like, I'll have that.

And then I had four, maybe five.

Maybe wasn't.

It wasn't a short amount of champagne.

It was.

It was flowing.

It was a great party.

It was actually a great party.

Even before I had the champagne.

It was a great party.

Well done to the parents.

Well done to me for sticking with dry January.

I will see my friend.

I've already been trying to be.

Someone's trying to coax me in to break it this weekend.

I was like, no.

Like I've been trying January because I want to go to the cinema this weekend to see baby girl.

Megan went to the cinema on her own?

No, she went with her fella and they were supposed to go for something to eat.

I don't know if they're going before.

They must have been going afterwards.

But she.

I've never heard this level of meanness.

She went.

I said, he got himself a pack of peanut M M's.

Yeah.

And well, what did you have?

Because she took rice cakes.

Rice crackers with her rice cakes.

Whatever.

They are just dry rice cakes.

I know, but then she corrected me.

They were yogurt.

They're covered in yogurt.

Yogurt covered rice cakes.

And then I saw like, sick.

She bought them.

She bought them in Aldi because I saw her pick up a pack when we went there on Sunday.

And not only were they yogurt covered dry rice cakes, but they were thins.

I was like, Megan.

And I said, how many did you take with you?

She didn't even take the.

She took two.

Oh my God.

That's it for the cinema.

You are so depressing.

Oh, my God.

I'll be taking a few more snacks than that now, to be honest with you.

Now, in fairness, I like to bring my own snack to a cinema.

I'm not mad for popcorn.

I'm not.

Unless you go.

Unless you go to Kulak and get the butter.

Butter.

The butter Popcorn.

But I've never, I never go to Kulak Cinema, so I bring my own bits.

And I do like, like at night I like to have fruit and yogurt and some chocolates and a cup of te.

And that's kind of what I bring with myself.

Yeah.

I thought you weren't allowed to bring stuff into the city anymore.

Do you think they're gonna check your bag?

Alexander did that.

I, he took the kids to the cinema a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, here, they don't even really like popcorn, and it's so expensive.

I was like, I just put a couple of packets of monster claws in their bag, and they had a mini packet of Maltesers each and their water.

And they were absolutely delighted to have those snacks and pretzels.

And that's what they had for the cinema.

And then it saved us at like 30 quid.

Perfect.

So, well, I'm gonna go see hopefully the, the new Nicole Kidman.

One Baby Girl.

And hopefully.

Well, I see people are feeling a bit dirty after watching it, so that's, it's a bit boring.

Dry January finished a couple of seasons.

I was watching Bad Sister.

Bawled my eyes out.

Absolutely adore those girls.

Stop.

I forgot I've got three episodes left.

Yeah.

So good, so good.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna start that again tonight.

The Jackal.

And then what else did I do?

New record in the sauna, 30 minutes.

That's pretty unbelievable.

No one gives a.

And then I started a new thing as well this week.

So I, I, I saw this tick tock of the Cranberries and I loved Laura Sweden.

So I was trying to like one of her songs because she's obviously quite difficult to understand.

So on Spotify, what you can do is you can take the lyrics.

So I was trying to learn the lyrics of the song.

You know that one of my mother.

Oh, I love that one.

I do that.

I do that with rap songs.

Like with Heddy1 and stuff.

I put it on.

And if I'm on the, if I'm on the treadmill or something, I'll.

And I'll start, like, trying to do the rap in my, in, in my head.

So anyway, yeah, bit boring.

I found my birth cert.

It was dated when I was looking for that picture of you as the Hulk.

I found my birth cert and I was like, hold on a second.

This is dated 1994.

I was like, oh, my God, my 30.

I am younger than Vogue.

And then I realized it was a reissue.

So I'm like, What.

What happened to my original birth certificate?

I can't believe you even have your birth certificate.

That's amazing.

You actually do need that for things Vogue.

Yeah, I know.

My.

My.

My stepfather has all those things I need.

He has my.

My divorce cert.

He's got my birth cert.

He's got my marriage cert.

He's got all my kids birth certs.

He's got copies of all my kids passports.

That man is very organized.

You're kind of supposed to keep those things yourself, but yeah.

Okay.

How was your week?

My breaking January, My Alice.

You know, I don't count that.

Do you know why?

Because first of all, it was champagne.

If it was Prosecco, I wouldn't have done it.

Second of all, had a cup of decaf tea, and Spencer doesn't even know I broke J.

January.

Like, I didn't lie.

I just didn't tell him.

And one of the dads then came over the next day, and me and the dad were like, we were pretty merry.

And he said he was on DJ too.

And then he was like, I think I'll just go home and really ruin it and have a bottle of wine.

And I was like, oh, well, I went home and had tea.

And then the dad came over the next day with his son and I was like, oh, God, do I tell him not to say anything?

My God, what am I doing?

So I.

I went to run club of tea.

And in front of everyone, did you know.

Do you know what he said to me?

We were standing there.

So they.

You queue up and they count how many kids are there.

And like, you're kind of as the adults, you kind of have to help.

A little bit along.

And they're amazing little runners, and it's a nice thing to do.

T.

And in front of everyone, he goes, did you brush your hair this morning, mommy?

It's like, pardon?

I was like, yes, I did brush my hair, Theodore.

And you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth.

Okay.

I also saw a dog nearly drowning.

Oh, God.

I left when I knew he wasn't gonna drown because I thought drama over.

So honestly, what happened was I was running by the pond Embarrassee park on one of the really, really cold days, and the pond was frozen over, and there's loads of people stopped.

And I was like, what is going on?

So I went over and there was a dog who tried to chase a goose and basically ran across the pond and then fell through like maybe 30 meters out.

And everyone was standing there.

The dog Was getting really, really agitated, like, because I'm an ice bather.

I was like.

I was like, I'll go in and get the dog.

Like, you can't just leave the dog.

He's gonna drown.

He's gonna drown.

The owner's like, no, no, the fire brigade's coming.

And I was like, you can't just, like.

I was like, your dog is going to drown.

Look at him.

Like, he can't.

He was really getting really agitated and, like, scared, it looked like.

And after about 10 minutes, I was like, listen, I will go in.

No.

They said, no one can go in.

They said, no one can go in.

And I was like, oh, my God.

So eventually, the part fire brigade did arrive, because it had happened around the corner on the other side of the park.

Three fire brigades arrived, and by that stage, the dog had actually managed to crawl up.

So it was nearly, like, 15 minutes.

And the dog had managed to crawl up and did crawl out of it.

But then I was like, oh, God, I better give him my jumper.

Until I looked at the owner, and she didn't even take her coat off to put on the dog.

And I was like, is she in shock or something?

Like, if that was Winston, I would have.

I would walk on water just to be with you.

I would have been straight.

I couldn't watch that.

Like, it's a reflex.

You did that with Ottie, remember?

And you broke your phone.

Yeah.

I regret that.

That happened to me when we were younger, Remember, we went over to Auntie Betty's.

Or you probably actually don't.

Maybe you were too young for that.

And we went into the water.

She had a swimming pool out of her back garden.

And we went into the water, and there was a slope, but I didn't realize the slope still does have a swimming pool.

It's not as big as I remember.

No, Tiny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's gone.

But anyway, there was this.

So all the adults were at the side of the pool.

And anyway, I was in the pool, but I didn't realize there was a slope.

And I started kind of falling down the slope and then kind of submerging myself.

And then all that was happening was mom and dad were having an argument at the side of the pool, who was going to get in?

And then eventually mom pushed out it.

What else happened to me?

What.

What were you doing last week?

Sheep shoop.

I do.

I'm sorry.

But I would go on a ski trip every weekend if I could.

Honestly, I'd never stop.

I don't even care.

That Say I go on holidays too often.

I just want to go on holidays all the time.

Up to Kil Tiernan.

Is there nothing like that in.

I was going to say Scotland.

In.

Yeah, Hemel Hempstead.

Oh, you go up and there's fake slopes and stuff like that.

Did you see that little girl who fell off the ski lift?

No.

Oh, my God.

It was really.

So.

There was a.

There was two people sitting beside her.

I don't know if she was on.

On her own, but they didn't seem to notice.

And it was really high up, like 20 meters into the air, and she dropped into trees, and whatever way she landed, she was totally fine.

They just skied down and got her.

But it was like, looking.

I had an accident when we were skiing.

Do you remember which one?

What do you mean, which one?

I only had one real accident when we were skiing, when I went over, when I tried my hand at snowboarding.

Definitely not my forte.

And I went over and I was like, okay, I've done something bad to my wrist.

And we had to get mountain control, mountain rescue.

And they came along, and we were in the States, and obviously, you know, they love a bit of drama, a little bit of in.

In the States, as do you.

Well, come here.

I didn't want to lap it up.

And they're like, sorry, ma'am, you're gonna have to get in the stretcher.

I was like, no, no, no.

I can probably snowboard down.

It's just my wrist.

No, ma'am, you're gonna have to get in the stretcher.

I was like, okay, fine.

And there's a picture of me.

She bloody hopped in.

She said, folk get a picture.

When in Rome, obviously.

Get some evidence.

And then we got to the bottom of the mountain, and they were like, okay, Miami, you need to get in the wheelchair.

I was like, honestly, I can walk.

It's my race.

Can I take this home?

She did not need the stretcher, which probably cost our parents an absolute fortune.

I was talking about the time when we were going up.

We were skiing in a place in America, and it was really cold.

Like, you literally weren't allowed to have any flesh showing because it was so cold you'd get frostbite.

And we had a ski instructor, and they were like.

Amber was looking.

She was like, what have you did?

What if you licked the ski bar?

What if you licked the bar of the.

Of the.

And everyone was like, I wouldn't do that.

Your tongue will get stuck to it.

Amber, of course stuck.

It's like, dumb.

And Dumber.

Like, so stupid.

And the amount of blood.

That was agony.

That was.

Anyway, lesson learned.

It's like when you drink a really hot cup of tea and you're like, I'm never gonna taste anything ever again.

All your taste buds are just gone.

Burn the top of your mouth with hot pizza.

Oh, yeah.

Blisters.

Oh, God.

Well, I don't really do that because not everyone eats Goodfellas frozen pizzas.

Like you're mad for them.

It's so grim.

I put my own toppings on them.

Oh, not.

And I actually go for Dr.

Utr.

They're actually.

They are actually worse.

Which not get.

There's one called like Crust Amala that actually tastes like.

Yeah, like if you're going to do any of them, she's going for Chicago Town.

Deep pan Pizzas.

Like, w.

I met.

I was interviewing one of your gang today.

You anima.

That's why Emma was like, yeah, I really like her.

We got to support one another out here, you know?

Oh, my God, here it is.

Here it is.

Short fingernails.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, sister cards.

Assuming the girl code exists, what rules do you live by?

I much prefer working with women than I do men.

I don't.

I'm so honest.

It's a game.

I'm.

But I do.

I love working on.

You're a game on.

Are you a game on?

I just.

I just.

I love men.

But, like, I do really enjoy working with women.

I have to say, I just think there's a lot of loyalty, like, in terms of having one another's back and stuff like that.

Like, if you hear someone saying something slating or like criticizing one of your pals or something like that, you're gonna speak up.

Well, I know that I.

I could depend on my girls to do that.

Amber.

Amber.

Like, if I'm bitching about Amber to spend like.

And I'll be hard.

And if he says one thing about her, I'm like, what did.

What did you just say about her?

Sorry, I think you misunderstood the assignment.

You sit and listen.

What annoying social media trend do you wish would die forever?

Probably the one that Naomi always gets caught up in.

And loads of people were doing it recently as well.

You know, the way people do.

You remember people used to always forward those things on WhatsApp.

You know, if you don't send this to 10 people, the virus will take over your phone.

Or else, you know the other one that everyone was like, like, I do not give permission to meta to use my photo.

Oh, that was the most.

And so many people Were doing it so many.

I was like, oh God, I'm living.

You know, what was the word?

It was.

It was actually a lot of normal, level headed, sane people were doing that.

I'm like, are they serious?

I slagged someone in person about that.

I was just like, are you serious?

But not up.

Hang your head in shame.

Garlic.

What's a movie that's universally loved but you think is just average?

Star Wars.

Yeah, I'm not into Star wars now.

Or any westerns as well.

What?

Alien.

Benny said Alien.

I've never really seen Alien.

It's a bit scary.

But yeah, that's Neil's favorite movie.

Elsa loves it too.

What else?

I.

I know that they're meant to be good, but I wouldn't really be into the Jason Bourne stuff.

Oh my God.

My movies.

Or.

Yeah, I'm not really into your movies.

Or.

Or the Mission Impossibles.

The Jason bourns are quite good.

I was actually only watching Mission Impossible the other night.

Oh my God.

I watched that.

Did we finish that Demi Moore film last night?

Substance.

Really bizarre.

Honestly, people walked out of the cinema for that.

People were getting sick and stuff like that.

Asleep towards the end, the very end.

Is it goes it so mad.

Okay.

I have to watch the very end because I actually was.

I was starting to feel so anxious that I couldn't keep watching it.

I was like, I'll never get to sleep if I keep watching this.

But it was weird.

But I have to say, Demi Moore, 62.

Wow.

It's like she's like Spenny said.

She's like Jared Leto.

She's like a vampire.

She won an Oscar for it.

Was it not?

But it was.

Was it not in the comedy category or something odd like that?

Why is it not.

Is it not meant to be like kind of a car?

I love your.

One more Whaley as well, though.

She's a great actress.

Her mom is.

Is it not, Andy?

Oh, God, I can't remember.

McDowell.

Yeah, they do look like.

Do you know what she was in?

And they only ever did one series and I loved it.

Oh, no.

The Maid.

No, I hated it.

Oh, I loved it.

And I loved the book.

It was too harrowing.

It was really sad, but I really liked it.

Harrowing is one of Amber's favorite words when she.

Every time she tell me to watch what's the.

What's the show say?

Nothing.

Say nothing.

She'd be like, brilliant show.

Very, very harrowing.

It's the perfect word.

And I'd hear her repeat it to loads of people.

It's fantastic.

Watch.

Very.

But it's really there that you quietly sit there weeping to yourself, you know?

Well, I'm reading a John Boyne book and I had to.

I was like, I'm not watching that movie anymore.

It's really freaking me out.

And then I'm just like, reading this book and I'm like, also very sad.

Okay.

What a perk of being a single that you miss just doing whatever the f you want.

I'm talking about having no kids as well, though.

No, do whatever you want.

What do I want to do today?

I'll tell you what I wanted to do today.

Nothing.

I don't know.

That's a bit of a dangerous question for me to answer as well.

I'm married, so I can answer.

Emma, you can answer it.

You're married.

I.

Watching shows when they come out in linear format, literally.

Or not having to, like, think about feeding the other person.

Yeah.

Like, you know when you, like, get like.

I do the, like, most of the cooking and sometimes when I come home, because I've done, like an extracurricular activity, I come home and I'm like, oh, I just quite happily have a piece of toaster bowl of cereal.

But then I'm like, but she needs to have nutrition, so I must cook.

Get her own nutrition.

That's the thing, I suppose.

Yeah.

Because sometimes I'd be like, I'll just have a bottle of crunch, you know.

Cornflakes.

Yeah.

I tell you what, you know, cornflakes did me no favors.

I actually was just texting someone that I used to live and I was like, do you remember I used to sit in the couch to see dry country of cornflakes all the time.

I'm telling you, they are not great for the hips.

Is that why you moved to, like, dry, scummy, like, special cake?

I don't eat dry special K anymore.

Not anymore.

God.

What was your most memorable teacher and why?

Ms.

Cassidy?

Our.

Our teacher.

Because it's our Auntie Naomi.

She wasn't my art teacher.

Oh, she wasn't so nice.

I would say maybe.

I can't remember my first primary school.

I didn't get thrown out of my first primary school.

We just moved location, so.

Oh, I don't remember.

And I do.

I remember one teacher used to give us a marshmallow there.

I remember Ms.

O'Callaghan in the borough and I remember what she.

She actually taught us etiquette.

She brought us in, like, knives and forks and a napkin and stuff like that and told us etiquette.

That's quite nice, isn't it?

Yeah, reading just like you said.

You can wake up tomorrow with a talent of your choice.

What talent are you choosing?

I'd love to be really good at languages.

Oh yeah?

Well, real or fake?

Can we do a real and a fake one?

No, just a real talent.

Like what?

Fake talent.

You want a good singer?

I know.

Invisible.

Invisible, yeah.

So many people.

I'd love to know what people say about me.

Bitching about me.

I'd love to follow people and see where they go and what they do.

Yeah, me too.

But a good singer, I think a good singer.

A lot of people would like to be a good singer.

No, because then you'd have to sing in front of people.

Be really embarrassed.

I'd be more than happy to do that.

Okay, well I'd be like, do you remember we used to go around pretending we were speaking Spanish and we'd be like.

Me and the girls used to do that in the dart.

I'd say people.

But what we do is we'd hop from carriage to carriage because there'd be fresh meat.

So we'd be like, okay, people here know that we're not Spanish.

Let's move on to the next carriage.

Do you remember as well that we used to go, we used to do.

What was it called?

Carol singing.

And I remember.

Do you remember we went around carol sing because we used to get the money and give it to St.

Vincent, give it to Grandad to give to St.

Vincent de Paul because he worked with them.

And I'll never forget going to one door and the woman straight away, you're not doing this for charity, you're keeping the money for yourself.

I know.

10 years of age.

We hadn't even thought about stealing it until she said that.

Sorry.

Do you remember we used to do the troker box?

It was this charity box at home and you used to have to drown stole from her as she told me.

I'm surprised you didn't do that.

I didn't.

I used to have to do a 24 hour fast.

Like what are they getting kids to fast for?

Not that we ever did in parents.

What's a childhood memory that still makes you smile?

I think going to the carnival and scaries we were always give us money because then he could stay in the pub for longer and we'd go off to the carnival in scaries and we'd love it so much back every hour for more cash.

We used to do a lot of like.

Well we used to play outdoors a lot like playing Tip the can.

Building bases.

We did love to swim in swamps and puddles.

We did.

How we didn't catch anything in the swamp is beyond me.

Do you remember there's, there's this plant and it's actually Embarrassy Park.

Do you remember?

It looks like little tomatoes or something.

And you crack them open and then the seeds you used to pour.

Oh, it was so awful.

It was so itchy.

Like you just go home crying.

Last one.

What celebrity.

Will you genuinely be sad to hear of death someday?

I was dead.

Well, I know.

So I was dead.

I was actually only watching, you know, David is dead video earlier on.

I was watching that earlier.

That is so.

I was watching a compilation of, like, TV moments and that was in.

It was very, very funny.

I watched the whole thing and what he.

That's so weird.

You're one Tiffany going absolutely ballistic.

Let me add her.

Let me add her.

Jesus.

Wrong, David.

But I, I, I was very upset when I saw poor Maggie Smith died.

I her.

Oh, I was so sad when Tina turned the dive on Leonard Cohen.

Like, I.

We'd both be devil if anything happened to poor Mary Black.

Oh, God, don't say that.

Touch.

I know.

That's why I just touched my head.

I think a lot of people will be very upset when David.

David Attenborough dies.

Oh, yeah.

God, yeah.

What age is he now?

Old.

He's living on the edge, isn't he?

He's.

He's living on borrowed charm.

Fair play to him.

He's 98.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

He's in great condition, isn't he?

What's your secret, David?

I think now what we'll do is we'll do agony amp.

So it's where you can get in touch with me and you give me a dilemma of the week and we discuss it.

So here we have this week's one.

Amber heard your agony arm and want to get in touch with my very own.

My name is pips, I'm 30 and my sister is 33.

We moved out together and we live with each other right now, but we're butting heads over food in the cupboards.

I think that the weekly shop is done for the house and that every bit of food in the cupboard is up for grabs, but she thinks it's done by person, meaning you eat what you buy and you don't touch anything else.

How would you two do it?

If my sister buys a loaf of bread, am I the asshole for taking a slice or two?

Cheers, guys.

And loving the new pod.

It builds up I think, I think if someone's like.

Because you probably think that I'm only taking a slice or two, but when was the last time you bought bread?

Or like, when was the last time that you bought toilet roll?

Like, it's annoying to have to go and buy the.

Those things.

And, like, I'm happy.

Obviously my house is a sharing house because I've got kids, I can't ask them to go buy their own stuff.

But, like.

But I think that when you're living with somebody like that, like, I did have my own shopping and other people had their own shopping.

If they had something, I wouldn't really mind, but it wasn't, like, happening all the time.

So when I wanted some of my Hummers, someone hadn't just eaten the whole.

That's fair enough.

But I think there's communal.

You should have a communal kitty for certain things, like toilet paper, household things, and then, like, your.

Your standards.

Like, I wouldn't go to the paper.

With Amber, though, because she goes through that like no one's business.

No, because, like, me and Megan used to do shops together and we just split it down the middle.

But, like, we'd be having dinners and stuff together and we kind of eat and stuff to say the same things.

But I probably get more junk than she gets.

But, like, it just works out in the end, I think.

Yeah, Megan gets a lot of cottage cheese I always see in the fridge.

I'm like, what the hell is she doing with the cottage cheese?

That's not for me.

And that stuff smells weird.

Oh, God.

Well, I think, yeah, a kitty is probably the way forward for you.

I think a kitty, if you're only having the loaf of bread and a bit of milk, but other than that, your sister obviously doesn't want to buy food with you.

Okay, Stop being a scab.

So, yeah, I read that having one lazy day a week is good for you.

Now, I would be concerned by that because, I mean, I, as a.

As a person who is death obsessed, that seems like a lot of time to be wasting every week.

I can understand maybe a lazy day a month, but people said that one day a week, you don't do any work, don't work out, and generally just bedrock.

Stay in your bed for the day.

And there's some science behind it.

So being constantly busy can be dangerous to our health.

If you're always pushing ourselves to work or stay busy, we can stretch ourselves too thin.

Resting resets your energy levels, making you more focused and efficient.

And dying time allows your brain to wander which can lead to unexpected insights and creative ideas.

I'm all for that.

I just don't think you need to stay in your bed all day once a week.

I don't get that.

People who stay in bed, like, and have their food in their bed.

I couldn't do that.

I couldn't sleep in the bed after that.

It'd be so dirty.

I think it's fair enough to have a lazy day per week, but like, doesn't mean you can't quit for a little walk or actually do something.

I am all for like a bad rot day, but definitely not once a week.

Well, supposedly this is another thing that will lead on to my weekend Goss.

So intelligent people swear more, are messier and sleep in later.

So I swear more.

So mom's been on to me.

Mom's like, listening to this, like, non stop.

She won't stop listening to the bloody podcast.

No, we're gonna have to cut her off.

No, I know you're listening now as well, Mom.

I know.

Anyway, she f off.

Sandra.

Yes, Sandra.

You'Re not welcome here.

Close your ears.

She told us.

She told me that we're swearing too much.

Particularly me.

She said you.

She said I was worse.

Yeah.

Good.

Amber's.

Amber's bad.

But you're worse.

Unbelievable.

She hasn't said a word to me.

Well, mom, smart people also overthink and get more stressed.

I do both of those things and I would say I probably.

No, you're quite an overthinker as well.

I'm brain.

I'd be an overthinker.

Yeah.

But I'd reflect a lot.

I wouldn't say I'm messy.

No, I do.

I do get that about messy people, that they're just too busy being intelligent so they have time to kind of clean up after themselves.

I just would struggle now because I'm such a neat freak.

I can't.

Like, if there was stuff all over the floor and stuff, I.

I just wouldn't be able for it.

I can't.

I like organization, but like, to the point that I.

Yeah, organization is incredible.

It stresses me out now if stuff will be all over the place.

I spent nearly two hours ironing on Sunday.

That's a job I'll never do now in Paris.

It's the one like.

Well, I hate it so much.

I'm sorry.

I'd rather clean the toilets than iron.

I can't do the iron.

I tell myself it's therapeutic.

No, I do all the washing.

I'll hang it all up.

But I'm not doing the ironing.

I do anything but do the ironing.

I hate it.

I have a really good iron as well, though.

Once you get a really good steam iron or something.

Your grandson.

We were having actually a conversation about this and a girl I know doesn't own an iron and then another girl I know just irons as she goes.

I was like, nah, like, that's so inefficient.

Taking the iron out every time in the ironing board.

I was like, just get it all done in one fell swoop.

I don't know.

Amber, what's your weekend, Goss?

So I was reading something about a remote island with no residents and it's hiring a manager of the island for 31k a year.

Yeah, you should go there.

Well, they actually have that here in Ireland, the Blasket Islands.

They rent.

Not rent, they hire caretakers.

Yeah, the Blascot Islands.

But there's no electricity and it's weather dependent whether or not you can get access to the island.

So there's no, there's no one else on the island?

Oh, no, I wouldn't say that.

Anyway, to continue the story, a remote Scottish island with no residence is seeking a manager with accommodation provided and a salary of 31,000 per year here.

So it's located off the west coast of Sutherland and it has a dramatic cliff views and is accessible via an on demand pedestrian ferry from Tarbos.

Accommodation for the role will be provided for the length of the contract and the role is also available to couples who intend to share the role and live together.

Would you be into that?

No, I wouldn't like to be alone.

I don't like being alone where, where I can avoid it.

But there is that on Lambay Island.

People live on this island called Lambay.

Online Bay is like a 10 minute boat ride.

It doesn't matter.

It's still.

It's still an island in the middle of nowhere.

I don't think I'd be into that.

I.

I have gotten used to my own company and I'm okay with being alone.

I'm not like you anymore.

I've moved on.

I've matured.

Tell you what, if I was in your body, I really wouldn't like my own company.

That's kind of good.

And what do you think about Tik Tok?

It's meant to close down in January 19th in the US oh, there's loads.

Of controversy about this.

So this fella, this Is he a YouTuber?

Mr.

Beast is now saying he has.

He's had loads of billionaires contact him to help.

Like, he wants to buy Tick Tock.

But now I'm after seeing something else about another Chinese platform that everyone's downloading.

I can't remember the name of it.

People are downloading it like crazy on Apple, itunes.

I just.

I don't really care.

I'd be like, you know what?

For the week that's in it, I'd actually be delighted if Tick Tock would get lost, sir.

Well, no, because it's loads of people's livelihood in the States.

Oh, yeah, true.

And that's why, because Trump said that he was going to keep it and that's what got loads of others to vote for him, apparently.

And now he's not keeping it.

Well, see what happens when he comes into office.

He's not officially in office yet.

He's too busy getting a.

What's the worst?

Sentenced.

He's.

Yeah, he's too busy.

Too busy getting sentenced and being a convicted criminal.

Anything else for our weekend, Goss?

Yes.

So the last one that I have is about a guy who broke the record for the most fans stopped with a human tongue.

I saw this video.

I saw it.

It's so bizarre.

Have you not seen the video score?

Just sticking his tongue out and ramming them into these electric fans, like, so.

Yeah.

Anyway, this week, by shoving his tongue into moving fans, a stuntman earned a Guinness World record by stopping 57 electric fans in one minute using his tongue.

The Daredevil's other girl.

Guinness World Record titles include the most nails inserted into the nose with a hammer in 1 minute 22.

And the heaviest vehicle pulled by a swallowed sword.

What is wrong with this man?

Oh, my God.

I know, but people do mad stuff for Guinness Book of World Records.

Like, I mean, why would you want to do that?

Like, his tongue must have been a bits.

No salt and vinegar crisp for him.

I was reading something about Nepo babies this week.

I love a bit of Nepo baby chat because you know Eve Houston from Bad Sisters, Obviously Bono's her dad.

Yeah, she's an amazing actress, Nepo Baby.

And I sometimes feel like they get a bit of stick, but Mel B's daughter came out and said that she gets opportunities faster than other people because she's an Eppo baby.

And also, I always see the Gallagher kids, like, at, like, their front row of the Burberry fashion show, still have a chip my shoulder about that.

I'm like, sorry, sorry.

I didn't even get the nod to that.

They're just like, they just get loads of stuff.

But like, that's just the way it is.

I guess that is the way it is.

Nepotism is.

Sure.

How am I on this part?

Amra's a Nepo baby nobody sister, but there are some Nepa babies that have actually outdone the Nepa parents.

So George Clooney, his dad was basically a TV host and journalist and would get jobs for George, and that's how he kind of started out.

He's flying it now.

George.

Dakota.

What's her name?

Dakota Johnson.

She's one as well.

Yes.

And she's really good.

Who's her.

Is she.

Is she with Chris.

Don Johnson?

No, they're broke.

Up.

Up.

I think they might have gotten back together.

They're always doing that.

Ben Stiller is brilliant.

His dad is obviously.

You've seen him, a comedy legend.

Both of his parents were actors and comedians and gave him their contacts.

I saw an article about Ben Stiller as well this week, and he basically broke up with his wife.

What's her name, the actress.

Oh, my God.

She was in Zoolander.

Yeah.

But they broke up for three years and then he moved back in lockdown to make it easier for his kids and they fell back in love again.

That's very cute.

I know.

I think Ben still would be sound.

Jennifer Aniston, her dad was.

He was in the acting world way before her.

He was a soap star.

Didn't know that.

Yeah.

Jennifer Anson and Lily Collins.

Obviously, her dad is Phil Collins.

But that's different.

Like, he's a musician.

Yeah, No, I know, but that's like.

It's kind of the same as Eve Houston.

Bono.

Oh, yeah.

Fair enough.

How cool if your dad was Bono.

I know someone who stole Bono's sunglasses.

Oh, yeah, they have them.

Yeah.

The purple.

The purple shades.

Yeah.

Got invited to a gig backstage and like, there was.

There's a pair of his shades lying there and he took.

And they're quite clearly Bono shades.

And.

And, yeah, he still hasn't.

Breaks them out every so often.

They're not the nicest sunglasses I know.

But they're Bono sunglasses.

Come on.

If you could have anything from a famous person that they're known for, what would you have?

Have, Emma, what would you have?

Boy George's hat.

Yeah, I'd say.

I'd say you could give him a few.

Barbecue for the hat.

I'm trying to think who else.

Who else has kind of like.

I don't know, who kind of wears things.

Imagine having something of Freddie Mercury's one of his clothes or.

Or David Bowie.

I was Gonna say Tina Turner's hair, but I think that was her real hair.

Was it?

No.

Tina Turner's dress.

Maybe like Michael Jackson's shoes.

Michael Jackson's glove?

Yeah.

His glove, yeah.

Sell that for a pretty penny.

Look at us, we're always forward planning with the selling.

Forward planning.

Oh, what's your racer slate?

I haven't thought of one.

I'll try and think of one when you tell me what yours is.

My rate is that it's no longer freezing.

How good is that?

No longer freezing.

Me diddies off.

Nearly broke my neck a few times.

Fell flat in my face out there.

When I was going around the corner.

She had to get the stretcher back down.

We will.

We all.

We will.

Oh, armor's off to heart.

Well, I don't really have a slate, actually.

No.

What do I have for race this week?

Race, race, race.

Or slate.

Something bad.

And slate Amber.

I'll slate Amber.

So I am going home this weekend and I'm going home on Friday for a job.

So I'm going home on Friday night for a job and Amber.

I.

I texted on Brown Megan a couple of weeks ago and I said, now I'm booking my flight.

Will I stay till Saturday evening and I'll come home, we can go for a walk, we can grab lunch, bite to eat, hang out.

Yeah, both stay till Saturday.

So I went booked my flight Aer Lingus late at night.

I'll be flying home and then Amber turns around to me and says she's plans for the day on Saturday.

What a stupid.

I double booked myself.

I'm sorry.

Whatever.

I'm gonna go get my eyebrows done or something.

You can go see Swiggy and you can see Naomi's keen to see you too.

Oh, I'm desperate to see them.

Okay.

Thanks, Amber, for sorting that out for me.

But I won't be making plans with you again.

You are in my race times that.

You'Ve laid it off.

Actually, no, I think I'm just gonna go home now.

And you've headed off to the airport.

I'll tell you why I've gone home sometimes because Amber will have been on the.

The third day of an absolute.

I am not being your punching bag anymore.

I've changed my return flight.

I'm leaving.

You don't even change.

You come up and you say, can I get the earlier flight, please?

And it's like, oh, no, I need to get home.

If I go home now, I can.

Get home to the kids.

Always using those poor children.

Because you're a terrible I don't even go home.

I go to the cinema and wait till I'm back.

I'm not going home before seven.

No one knows I'm here.

999.

I remember when we were.

I remember we were on the beach and I think we were on like the lifeguard hut and I saw a.

Fire and I was like, someone call 911.

They were like, it's 999.

You two.

Not remember how much we loved that show.

999.

And that's why I wish I was good at singing.

We used to love that shirt.

Was all of the time.

But people do weird, weird.

Like they call 999 for the most bizarre thing.

So we find the weirdest.

Well, you just have it there.

Like two fire brigades at Battersea Park.

Three.

Three.

Three fire brigades.

And the dog got itself out.

Yes.

So anyway, we found the weirdest reasons that people have called the emergency services in the last year.

It's not just in the uk, it's also in the United States of America.

So these are just a selection of some of the most bizarre things that people have called.

Go.

So a kid called the police because his parents were forcing him to clean his room.

You would have definitely done.

Fair enough.

Like that.

That' enough.

Definitely.

And this.

And they should have sent someone out.

Actually, they should have sent a responder out for that.

That is.

And then someone else, like, someone else called and said, a fox just walked past my house.

That was me.

He's up to no good.

I know what he's looking for.

The dirty age.

He's looking for a female.

He's on the loose.

Imagine ringing the police and they're like, well, what?

Okay, I'd say they get so much of it, it go, give us another one.

Another one is someone called the police because someone they didn't recognize followed them on Instagram.

Mama do that?

No, I was thinking she would.

She'd be like, do you have any friends that could follow me too?

And then another one.

Someone was locked out of their phone and could only make emergency calls, so decided to call the police for advice on what to do.

Jesus.

Oh, my God.

I mean, I think that's fair enough, depending on the age of the person.

I think you get fined for stuff like that though, don't you?

Well, you can get locked out of your phone for a certain.

Like when we were in Scotland, whatever Aussie did to my phone, I was 15 minutes locked.

It's like your iPhone is disabled for 15 minutes.

It's a puck pod or something.

Oh my God.

A puck code.

Another one is a lady alerted the police to fact that her washing machine was no longer functioning properly.

Jesus Christ.

That would be a terrible time in our house.

I would also be very concerned by that news.

But then you ring Pimliclo plumbers and you'd get robbed.

Anyway.

That'S another one is the final one.

A man said that his girlfriend's cat was being mean.

I wanted police to come and assess the situation in.

It wouldn't be unusual for a cat to be mean.

I think the funniest ones are the ones in the states when you hear them.

And I think there's Tik Toks and stuff like that.

It's like, hello, I can't feel my hands.

I can't feel my legs.

I.

I've taken some gummies.

I don't know what to do.

You got to sit and wait, my friend.

Ride that out.

Well, everyone, thank you so much for listening.

That was the main episode of Amber and Vogue.

Vogue and Amber, you know yourself.

See you later, guys.

Amber, do your little.

Do your little call out.

Louisa thinks it's really cute when you do that.

Thank you, Louisa.

Remember, we love to hear from you, so please do message in on Vogue and amber pod@global.com and you can also subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening and drop us five stars and review.

It helps other people find us too.

Bye Bye.

This is a Global Player original podcast.