Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I

hope you feel safe, maybe even joyous, I hope all your needs

are met. I hope you feel seen and heard. I really hope that

you get to express yourself fully and that you feel alive.

blood running through your veins and eyes lit up brain and mind

in a good place. And your heart's beating steadily and

strong and joyously. If it's not the case, if you're not in total

distress and panic, but in slight discomfort if you feel

stuck. If you feel dissatisfied, I really hope that I can bring

you value and create a space for you here where you can rest and

reflect and recharge your batteries. to then go out into

the world and express yourself fully and live the life that you

were meant to live here. Today, I want to talk about stress, and

how stress changes you. It not only changes the way you think

and feel about the world around you. But also it changes how you

feel and think about yourself, your body, your soul, your

purpose. Everything has been questioned when we are exposed

to stress. And needless to say, we've all been exposed to

extreme stress over the last couple of years. And what has it

done to you? How did it change you? Is there very clear before

and after? Right, we were crammed into sometimes little

apartments or houses with our spouses or partners or

roommates, family members, whoever you chose to live with

before the pandemic, and now all of a sudden, who the air is

getting sick. Maybe you're still licking your wounds from a

breakup, because you were with your partner going into the

pandemic, but you found out that it's not working, you're not

good on a small space. Maybe you came out of the pandemic and

thought you were well and resilient. But now that

everything is going back to pretty much normal. You can see

that a lot of damage has been done. How does stress affect

you? Do you hide and shut down? Did you get frustrated and

angry? Do people avoid you when you're stressed? Or do they come

to support you and help you? Are you open to receive support from

the outside world when you are stressed? Stress is different

for for everybody. Right? There's the one person who can

go without food for eight hours and they're still functioning

well and then there's a person like me, I need my food every

five to six hours otherwise, I'm not a good person. There's that

person who likes high intensity sports. And this is how they can

release stress. And then there's people who need yoga and

meditation to release stress. So I invite you to explore how you

release stress. And if the way your release figured it's is

beneficial to you. And with who out there who started

drinking or smoking. Sex is another nice release for stress

watching porn. High Intensity sports, food, sleep, there's

people out there who just, they just go to sleep, they just fall

asleep on the couch or go to their bedroom and sleep hoping

that when they get up, that stress is gone. So also, be

brutally honest here in this space during this time you have

spent with me? Like how, how good is the tools that you use

it? Do they really release your stress? Or is it just a

temporary fix, and then afterwards, there's a build up

right away. Again, it's really important to know your stress

resilience and to find out what stresses you out, especially

when you are in relation with others, because like I said,

before, everybody is different. And if you can very clearly

communicate what stresses you out. You can find out pretty

quickly if that person you're with is listening and willing to

understand you. And you make the relationship way easier on

everybody. Right? If people know that you need alone time, when

you're stressed out. And it has nothing to do with them. It's

just everything about you and having to recalibrate, and

recenter, then they're not going to stress out and worry. And a

lot of people choose to not communicate, especially when

it's when it's the beginning of the dating phase. They're just

going to, you know, avoid people ghost people in the hopes that

they will understand. But not many people would understand if

you don't clearly communicate, hey, I need some time off. I'll

be back, I need to figure things out. And please don't worry. And

it makes you feel as if you value your feelings and your

stress levels as well. And that's my main thing here. To be

honest, my main thing is that we all learn to be more okay with

who we are, and how we feel how we perceive things. And then to

gently express it to the outside world for them to either be

invited in or invited out. Right, the more authentic you

are, the more likely you're going to attract people that are

good for you. And the better chances you have, that the

people that are not really interested in you not have same

values belief systems will keep out of your life. And that's

very awesome when you don't want drama. So what is the last thing

that really stressed you out? Frustrated you? And I really

don't care how silly it is? And how did you deal with it? And

are you happy with how you dealt with it?

Or do you know deep down inside? Shit? That was not awesome. I'll

try better next time. But do you know how to deal with your

stress differently next

time? Do you need to practice maybe a little bit before a

stressful situation happens again? Or are you going to be

able to regulate your strong emotions in the moment? I tell

you what, not many people are capable of doing that. When it

comes to me, I'm not gonna go too much into detail but I need

a couple fixed sentences that I can like a tape record. And then

once I feel these feelings coming up, I just say that 10

sentence that I've memorized before. And from there, I go

into full on raw expression. And people appreciate that because I

used to shut down hideaway or full on explode in people's

people's faces. And I learned that it's not serving anybody,

especially not myself, not me. So I have these couple sentences

ready to go whenever I feel strong feelings come up, and

then I just use them. And it doesn't matter. If I sound like

a robot at first, I'm building a new pathway, right? My brain is

learning a new way of dealing with a situation. And of course,

I'm going to suck at the beginning, it will feel awkward

because I'm stepping out of my old way of dealing with a

situation. But that doesn't matter. For me, it's more

important to have myself expressed and understood than to

make the other person feel the same way. I feel. That's a very

childish way of dealing with strong emotions. Especially when

it comes to aggression, frustration, and stress

management. Sometimes we just blurt it out, we lash out,

because we just express how we feel. And then the other

person's soaks up that energy, and then we're not, we're all

not being served. But if in those moments, I learned to put

my frustration into words, and make it very clear what's going

on, then everybody is being helped. And then there can be

solutions found. And you will see that as soon as you express

yourself. those strong emotions and energies will dissolve.

Because they want to be expressed. It's it's very

interesting and fascinating. So stress will change you over

time. And not necessarily for the better, it can even affect

your physical body. I know a lot of women who when they're

stressed out, they don't want anything to do with sex and

intimacy. And then there's guys out there who desperately need

sex, when they are stressed out because they kind of conditioned

their body and taught themselves that sex can be used as a

release. Now, I don't want to judge either of these two

scenarios. But is that sustainable in a relationship?

Like are you going to use your partner to release stress? Or

are you just going to masturbate away and then that's it. And for

the people out there who don't want to have stress when they're

stressed out? Sex when they're stressed out? How does that make

your partner feel? Like probably makes them feel shitty? Because

yeah, they see that stress is affecting your whole being and

you can't function properly when you're stressed out so we both

have to find ways to to manage our stress a little bit better

and then those guys out there who struggle with erectile

dysfunction because of too much stress because of their monkey

mind overtaking the whole being and then all of a sudden the

brain signals to the body that no no pleasure no baby making

nothing should happen here because you're so stressed out.

You're not supposed to have fun. You're not supposed to procreate

and stress if you don't deal with it, if you don't learn to

express it and channel it out side of you can also lead to

high blood pressure or diabetes or depression. Right if it's if

it's prolonged, if it's too long in your body it is going to

change your whole chemistry your hormones and we all learn to to

deal with our stress levels and to be okay with where we at and

to become more resilient from where we at and to not judge us

ourselves harshly but to just admit, okay, this is what I'm

at. And this is where I want to be. Let's make a plan. And the

beautiful thing about that is, as soon as you work on your

stress management, your anger management, frustration

management, no matter where your physical health is at, you will

feel physically better. Because imagine stress being like a

poison that you keep drinking. It affects your whole being, and

especially your body, your body is always the last, you know,

last piece of the chain. And it's, it always has to suck up

what our conscious and subconscious mind decides to do.

So you Yeah, I think that was what I wanted to desperately

share with you today. Again, thank you for letting me show up

whenever I feel a strong urge. I know it's not been as regularly

as it used to be, I will go back to a regular and more strict

schedule. But for now, I got too much going on with in person

retreats, and gatherings and workshops. And I want to make

sure that when I show up here for you that it comes from a

place of authenticity, and a rawness and real connection to

love and passion. And I hope you can feel that. I don't want that

to be forced, it couldn't be forced. I want it to be genuine,

because we're all animals. And you would sense right away if I

would show up. Not fully being there. And that's not what I

want. All right. If you enjoy this podcast, if you get value

out of my episodes, please make some time. Just take a minute

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Spotify. Wherever you listen to, and share with a loved one, you

will open up doors to stronger connections. If people know that

you care so deeply about their emotional and mental well being

by sharing these episodes. Also. There is a build up from Season

1234567. And if you just started listening to my podcast here and

season seven, I invite you to go back to season one. It is

timeless. It is not related to any outside events, what I'm

producing here, but it is a genuine build up for you to get

to know yourself better. Thank you so much for being here. I

deeply appreciate you. I love you. I'm excited to connect with