15 Minute Checkpoint Due 29 Aug 2022 GMT-04:00
It’s lunchtime and you’re faced with a choice - a nice healthy salad or a
diet-destroying cheeseburger and fries.| You’ve probably encountered dozens
of such choices today alone and made your decision,
for better or worse.
But what exactly allowed you to act with self-control?
Or,
if you didn’t,
why was it so easy to succumb to temptation?
In the chapters that follow,
we’ll be looking closely at what self-discipline is,
why it’s so important to a successful life,
and how we can cultivate it day by day.
We’ll be looking at dozens of different approaches,
techniques,
philosophies,
and perspectives to help us become self-determined,
resilient,
and autonomous individuals.
But throughout,
there are really only two main themes we’ll be exploring - 1.
Self-Awareness.
2.
Conscious Action.
Being mindful and awake to what is unfolding in our hearts and minds is half
the battle,
but the other half is deliberately deciding to do something about it.
That’s why throughout this book,
you’ll be asked to pause periodically and either - 1.
Look within and ask questions to guide self-awareness 2.
Take Action Right Here,
Right Now.
Though the material we’ll cover is evidence based and makes good sense,
the truth is it means nothing if it’s not weighed against your own genuine
experience,
and unless it’s brought to life in action.
Look out for prompts to Be Aware and Take Action.
They’ll allow you to reflect on the material in your own life,
as well as put the ideas to good use by changing your behavior—even if
that’s only in small ways.
The good news is that no matter where you’re starting from today,
it is possible to develop better self-discipline,
to master your emotions,
and to gain a stronger and more resilient sense of purpose.
Let’s dive in!
The Biology Of Self-Control.
Let’S Start With The Body.
Though it’s tempting to think in abstract terms only,
researchers are uncovering evidence that willpower,
control,
and self-discipline all have the same biological basis in the brain.
If we can understand the brain regions responsible for self-control and
decision-making,
then perhaps we can work with our brain to make better decisions.
In 2017,
scientists (Gross et al.)
at the European Molecular Biology Laboratory conducted experiments that
revealed a link between two important parts of the brain - the brainstem and
the prefrontal cortex.
The researchers believe that these two brain regions are involved in regulating
instinctual behavior as well as self-control—a little like the proverbial
angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.
The prefrontal cortex acts like a brake on the impulsiveness of the brainstem.
The experiment began with observing mice who were bullied—yes,
really.
So-called “social defeat” in mice—i.e.,
being bullied by other mice—resulted in a weakening of the neural connections
between the prefrontal cortex and the brainstem in the brains of the mice.
Those mice with weaker connections then behaved more defensively.
The scientists could also induce the same fear-based response in the mice
through the use of certain drugs instead of social defeat.
In these mice,
too,
the connection between the brain parts was disrupted.
Now,
you may be wondering what scared mice have to do with what you choose for lunch.
The connection between the prefrontal cortex and the brainstem is what allows
us to regulate an instinctual response,
i.e.,
to fight against our instincts.
So,
for example,
when you’re standing on a high diving board with all your friends cheering
you on from beneath,
you experience genuine fear,
but you push against this and take the leap anyway.
Your more rational prefrontal cortex is helping to override the survival-based
fear coming from your brainstem.
Without that connection,
the fear signals coming from your brainstem may convince you to climb down off
the diving board.
Likewise,
the impulse to eat the cheeseburger and fries may be dampened by the more
rational prefrontal cortex that may tell you,
“That’s bad for you ...and besides,
you ate an hour ago."
Interestingly,
scientists noted that in difficult,
tempting,
or fear-provoking situations,
the amygdala is still active.
Since this part of the brain is responsible for our emotional responses,
this means we still feel the fear,
for example,
or the desire.
So even if we can overrule impulsive behavior,
we still experience feeling nervous,
afraid,
or tempted.
This is neurological evidence for the saying,
“Courage is not the lack of fear,
but feeling the fear and doing it anyway."
The researchers’ conclusions were that our inbuilt instinctual urges and
impulses are important,
but that human beings still need to find ways to control,
moderate,
and regulate those impulses.
Furthermore,
this balance of control is something we can actually observe playing out in the
brain—i.e.,
it’s not merely a question of abstract willpower.
Consider another experiment that tells us something interesting about the
biology of self-control.
Neuroscientists at the California Institute of Technology gathered thirty-seven
people who said they’d had a hard time sticking to diets and maintaining a
healthy weight.
For the experiment,
they were asked to fast for three hours,
and then the scientists took an fMRI reading of their brain to observe their
brain activity.
The participants were then shown fifty pictures of food and asked to rate each
picture on a five-point tastiness scale (in this case,
assume that “tasty” means unhealthy and not exactly something you’d
choose if you were on a diet,
like the participants claimed to be!).
Next,
the researchers noted which foods were rated around 2.5 on the scale,
or neutral.
They then presented this food and each of the other forty-nine options,
and the participants were told to choose between them.
Half of the participants chose the “tastier” option,
and half chose the more neutral option.
Importantly,
the fMRI scans revealed that those who picked the healthier food had elevated
activity in,
you guessed it,
the prefrontal cortex—the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex,
to be exact.
It was as though the scientists saw in real time the activity of the part of
the brain that chips in to say,
“No,
you shouldn’t eat that ...try something healthier,
instead."
Todd Hare,
lead author of the Science paper,
claimed that “one of the differences between people who are good at using
self-control and those who are poor at self-control might be the ability to
activate the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex” (p.
646).
We can conclude,
then,
that self-control,
discipline,
and the ability to mitigate our instincts is actually a function of a very
specific brain region - the prefrontal cortex.
This is fascinating news,
but it does pose another question - how can we strengthen the prefrontal cortex?
Do we have self-control because our prefrontal cortex is strong,
or do we strengthen the prefrontal cortex because we have self-control?
In the chapters that follow,
we’ll be considering the answers to these questions.
But we’ll also be looking at the question of self-control and self-discipline
from many different angles and lenses - Your Habits.
Your Values And Principles.
Your Physical Health And Well-Being.
Your Thought Processes.
Your Background And History.
Your Personality.
Your Culture And Family.
Your Environment.
Your Attitude And Beliefs.
Your Emotions.
Even Your Spiritual Well-Being.
Neuroscientists can observe brain activity and make inferences about its
function.
But just because self-control has a biological basis,
it doesn’t mean that that’s all there is to it.
If you take a deep breath and choose the salad over the cheeseburger,
is it “because” of your brain?
Or is it because of your learned behaviors,
your mindset,
or your social environment?
The answer is - it’s all these things.
Be Aware .- As you start this book,
what are your expectations about the changes you’ll need to make?
How do you frame the issue of self-discipline?
Where did you get these ideas?
We begin with the brain ...but that’s only the beginning.
What we learn from the two experiments above is that self-discipline is a
360-degree phenomenon,
and that what we experience on the emotional,
behavioral,
and cognitive levels is simultaneously played out on the physical and
neurochemical level.
Understanding Delayed Gratification.
Let’s move on from cheeseburgers to marshmallows ...specifically the
now-famous “marshmallow test."
In the late 1960s,
Walter Mischel was interested in the idea of self-control,
and had a particular question in mind .- Does the ability to delay
gratification influence future success in life?
Mischel took preschool children and sat each one in a room at a table in front
of a marshmallow.
A researcher then told the child that they were leaving the room,
and that meant the child had two choices—1)
wait a little while for the researcher to return,
without eating the marshmallow,
whereupon they’d be given more marshmallows,
or 2)
if they absolutely couldn’t wait,
they could eat the marshmallow,
but then they wouldn’t receive any more.
In this case,
they’d ring a bell and the researcher would return.
The researchers were in another room,
recording just how long each child could delay gratification—if at all!
Fast forward a few years and the researchers discovered that those children who
could wait the longest before gobbling the marshmallow showed better academic
performance by the time they were fifteen years old.
In other words,
the time delay was a reliable predictor of future success.
It wasn’t just school success,
either.
The children able to delay gratification had lower aggression,
more social responsibility,
higher confidence,
and better overall self-efficacy.
According to Mischel,
the cognitive skills that allowed the preschoolers to resist the marshmallow
were the same ones that enabled more general self-control and self-regulation
in all of life.
Mischel later expounded on a “hot” and “cool” theory where the
emotional and instinctual reaction (“go!”)
was kept in check by the rational,
slower,
and more neutral reaction (“know”).
This may sound not unlike the relationship between the brainstem and the
prefrontal cortex!
It doesn’t matter if your goal is to lose a few pounds,
save money for something important,
or quit procrastinating—knowing how to delay gratification and check
impulsiveness is a key skill that affects your entire life.
It’s especially important when you consider that the world is often set up to
create,
sustain,
and reward addictive and impulsive behavior while downplaying long-term reward
(see,
the entire advertising industry).
Delayed gratification is the ability to delay the fulfilment of an impulse for
immediate satisfaction in favor of a reward sometime in the future.
The term is often used along with concepts of self-regulation,
discipline,
and self-control.
According to Baumeister et al.’s theory of self-regulation (2007),
there are five areas in which we can delay gratification - 1.
Food (e.g.,
having a smaller meal rather than a bigger one today to avoid becoming
overweight in many years’ time)
2.
Addiction and physical pleasures (e.g.,
choosing not to feel the joy of a particular substance right now so you can
enjoy health and freedom in the long run)
3.
Social interactions (e.g.,
foregoing a party so you can work or study,
even though it’s obviously less fun to do so)
4.
Money (e.g.,
foregoing the pleasure of spending on little things today so that you can
afford to retire earlier in the future)
5.
Achievement (e.g.,
turning away from momentary distractions to keep focusing on the long-term
goal,
even though it’s not very exciting or rewarding)
As you can see,
inhibitory and self-regulating behavior kind of goes against the grain!
It’s the ability to consciously choose to feel less good in the moment so
that you can feel better in the future.
The ability to value the future over the present takes maturity,
discipline,
and control,
since grasping pleasure in the moment is often the default mode.
Our species has evolved to seek immediate gratification for a good reason .-
Tomorrow is not guaranteed,
and our survival may hinge on us seizing opportunities for pleasure in the here
and now.
But left to its own devices,
this mechanism can result in impulsive and self-destructive behavior.
At the same time,
constantly delaying gratification and inhibition is not always the best
strategy,
either.
There may well be times when it is better to accept fifty dollars today instead
of five hundred dollars in ten years—especially if,
for example,
you have reason to believe you won’t be around in ten years!
But,
if you are able to consistently eat well,
turn down damaging addictions,
make smart choices that contribute to your long-term development,
invest money,
and habitually avoid distractions,
it’s hard to imagine what goal you couldn’t achieve.
So,
the battle between the prefrontal cortex and the brainstem comes down to two
things - Impulse Versus Conscious Choice.
Pleasure in the moment versus reward in the future.
Being a slave to instinct versus mastering it for your own ends.
You only need to consider how high the global rates are for mental health
issues,
obesity,
addiction,
divorce,
and debt to see how rare it is to choose something other than instant
gratification!
What Does Impulsivity Look Like In Your Life?
Be Aware .- So,
be honest,
how impulsive are you?
How would you score on the marshmallow test?
Don’t be so quick to assume that you have no issues with self-discipline
merely because certain tasks are not a problem for you.
The lack of self-discipline and ability to delay gratification can show up in
many different ways in different people’s lives.
For example - Vicky doesn’t like having to compromise,
preferring to simply end friendships if they become too much hard work.
Her relationships suffer,
too,
because she constantly chooses the instant gratification of starting a new,
fun relationship rather than sticking through thick and thin with the person
she’s already with.
Consequently,
no relationship lasts longer than a year,
and ultimately she feels lonely and aimless.
Jaden has a wife and loves her,
but unable to temper his addiction to pornography,
he finds his lack of impulse control eroding the trust in his marriage.
On top of this,
his addiction to social media and the instant gratification of the online world
means he seldom has the patience or attention span to connect in deeper,
more meaningful ways with his wife.
In time,
he loses the feeling of genuine closeness with her.
Laura is a student whose life is slowly being ruined by ...junk food.
More than one hundred pounds overweight,
she realizes her health and self-esteem are in tatters,
and despite knowing she shouldn’t,
she fritters away the little disposable income she has on high-fat,
high-sugar food that she sometimes doesn’t even enjoy.
Mike is intelligent,
passionate,
and talented.
He has been trying to write a book for nearly ten years.
Somehow,
he can never seem to muster enough motivation.
He cannot work undisrupted on any one task for more than a minute or two before
his mind wanders to something more immediately satisfying.
After a day of excuses,
procrastination,
and distractions,
he’s achieved absolutely nothing.
In the moment,
it seemed like the obvious choice to watch YouTube videos and read news
articles instead of writing.
But as his fortieth birthday rolls around,
he is hit with the sad realization that all these temporary amusements have
amounted to nothing,
and that his big dream is still just that—a dream.
As you can see,
knowing how to be patient,
delay gratification,
and moderate impulses is about so,
so much more than just turning down a sweet treat here and there!
As we’ll explore in later chapters,
the phenomenon of self-control,
discipline,
or curtailing impulsiveness is really about making brain changes that allow you
to completely shift your mindset.
It’s arguable that a huge portion of what we call self-help and personal
development is really just an attempt to master self-control,
only in disguise.
Be Aware .- On a scale of one to ten,
how well developed do you think your own self-discipline is?
And if you didn’t give yourself a high score,
what’s standing in the way?
Maybe it’s -
•Society,
which lay traps for you at every turn
•Knowing that even if you do delay gratification,
the rewards are not guaranteed and not always proportional (for example,
you might pass on the cake today and still be overweight in a year’s time
...)
•You feel bad (depressed,
anxious),
and that small moment of instant gratification literally feels like all you
have going for you right now
•Because life feels unfair and unpredictable,
and if there is a way to succeed and do well,
you worry that the rules are complex and not so straightforward (for example,
what if restricting calories is actually making you gain weight?
Is it even possible for people to lose weight?
What’s the right thing to do when there is so much conflicting advice out
there,
anyway?
Why delay satisfaction when you’re not even sure that it will bring you any
reward?)
•You don’t know when the reward will come,
and that feels as good as never.
Instant gratification,
however,
is conveniently right here in front of you ...
•The fact that you don’t really have faith in your own abilities and deep
down don’t believe that change is possible for you Take Action .- Before
reading any further,
get a hold of a journal or diary where you can monitor your responses to
certain questions and keep track of exercises you complete.
Keep this journal private!
Something you might be happy to learn is that Mischel discovered that there
were in fact easy ways to get his child study participants to wait just a
little longer for the marshmallow.
When the children sang songs,
for example,
thought about something else,
or covered their eyes so they couldn’t see the marshmallow,
they were able to wait longer.
So there is hope!
If we understand how our brains work,
we can use practical tips and tricks to work around our limitations.
Mischel learned through his research that people tend to have better
self-control when they have definite time frames (i.e.,
they know how long they have to wait to fulfill an impulse)
and when these timeframes are realistic.
If you re-read the above bullet list of all the reasons it’s difficult to
have self-discipline,
and then invert them,
what you’ve done is create a road map leading you out of impulsivity.
We can develop greater self-mastery by -
•Actively controlling our exposure to discipline-destroying aspects of our
culture
•Choosing modest,
realistic,
and achievable goals that you have reason to believe you can actually reach
•Making sure that you’re as calm,
contented,
healthy,
and balanced within yourself so that you are never relying on the satisfaction
of impulses as your sole source of well-being
•Making smart choices to manage unpredictability in the world,
and taking rational steps to control what you can
•Setting your own goals so you can decide when and how frequently you
experience a reaffirming reward
•Building your self-confidence so that you can trust in your own ability (and
right!)
to improve and be better,
even if it takes time and effort As you read on,
you will discover a wealth of different ways to achieve all the above.
Why Even Bother With Self-Discipline?
You may wonder why we’re dwelling so much on the benefits of self-discipline.
Do you find yourself anxious to skip ahead in the book and start reading all
the clever tips and tricks that will help you achieve your goals as quickly and
easily as possible?
Pause and just notice that impulse—it may in fact be a sign of lack of
discipline!
After all,
this hunger for a quick fix is the same as a desire for immediate gratification.
But if you notice this response in yourself,
you’ll see that what you’re privileging is the reward,
the satisfying outcome,
and the fulfillment of a fleeting desire in the present.
In impulsive moments,
there is one thing you’re not focusing on - the future.
By dwelling on the benefits of self-discipline,
you are refocusing your attention on a different pleasure—the bigger one that
unfolds later.
If you’re staring at an enticing piece of chocolate cake,
you may well convince yourself that nothing in the world could be nicer than
having it there and then.
But then,
fast forward a few weeks when staring at yourself in the mirror,
and with the taste of the chocolate cake long gone,
you may start to realize that feeling healthy,
lean,
and happy in your own skin was actually worth a lot more to you.
By focusing on the benefits of delayed gratification and greater
self-discipline,
you keep your eye on the bigger prize and put momentary pleasures into
perspective.
The brainstem is that primitive part of your brain that says,
“Just do it!
Now is all that matters!"
But the prefrontal cortex is the more evolved part that allows you to pause and
say,
“Your actions have consequences.
How will your behavior in the present unfold?
Is it what you want?
Your wants and desires are not always an indication of the best possible
action,
and things that feel good right now are not necessarily good for you ...”
The benefits of allowing your prefrontal cortex to step in and help you act
with rational conscious choice include - Better health – You won’t be a
slave to addictive,
unhealthy foods,
and you won’t routinely take in more food than you need,
so you spare yourself the health problems that come with overweight and obesity.
You also lessen the chances of being addicted to other substances—caffeine,
alcohol,
nicotine,
or recreational drugs—that rob you of your free will and undermine your
quality of life.
Better academic or work performance – A study by Duckworth and Seligman
(2005)
found that self-discipline was correlated with better educational outcomes in
children,
including better attendance and higher grades.
Here,
self-discipline was directly related to lower screen time and fewer
distractions.
For adults,
Converse,
Pathak,
and DePaul (2012)
found that greater self-control predicted increased pay and better prestige.
Better relationships – Knowing how to regulate strong emotions,
how to set aside your own desires and focus on others during listening,
and how to be patient all lead to better interpersonal connections,
whether that’s with family,
friends,
or colleagues.
Self-discipline means you’re able to take responsibility for yourself while
drawing good boundaries.
Things like compassion and perspective-taking can only happen when we are able
to voluntarily pause our own desires in the present and focus on other people.
Just as short attention spans lead to shallow work,
poor self-control in relationships leads to shallow and unsatisfying
connections with others.
Greater chance of achieving goals – Face it - in life,
the most impressive and satisfying goals are never those that happen merely by
accident.
Rather,
the things we most want to achieve take sustained effort over a long period of
time.
If we are constantly trapped in the present,
distracted by momentary rewards,
we never build the momentum for something greater,
be that creating something unique,
building a business,
achieving a fitness or athletic goal,
developing a new skill,
or enduring the rigors of tertiary education.
Better mental health – Those with good self-discipline trust themselves and
have higher self-esteem and maturity.
They feel more resilient because they know they are capable of holding their
own in the face of distraction or temptation.
Knowing how to anchor in your own will and self-regulate is a big part of being
a well-rounded mature adult.
Less criminal behavior – This one goes without saying!
Really,
there is just one big benefit that comes from better discipline,
and it’s this - the ability to be in control of your own life.
The satisfaction that comes with knowing that you are the driving force behind
your thoughts,
feelings,
and actions,
and not something external to you.
Many of us think of self-discipline as a boring and difficult thing,
almost like a punishment.
We imagine a kind of internalized drill sergeant whose job in life is to make
us unhappy and keep us away from what we really want.
But we can reframe this and understand that self-discipline and self-control
are actually the only means we have to creating more freedom for
ourselves—freedom to choose what we want our lives to be.
Though it may take practice and some trial and error,
being in command of ourselves is actually the happier,
more balanced,
and calmer state of mind.
It is,
deep down,
the thing we really want—not the piece of cake or the quick fix or the
distracting social media post.
If we constantly remind ourselves of this fact,
then we are constantly putting ourselves back in control and inviting our
prefrontal cortex to make the final decision.
Take Action .- In your journal,
take a moment to think about the benefits you’d most like in the various
areas of your life,
such as health,
relationships,
etc.
In what ways are you most ready to improve?
What part of your life is crying out most for transformation?
Willpower Fatigue.
Self-discipline is like a muscle—the more you exercise it,
the stronger it gets.
The stronger it gets,
the easier it finds certain tasks,
and what was once difficult eventually becomes easy.
But self-discipline is also like a muscle in the sense that it can get worn out
and depleted.
It needs to rest just like your muscles do.
The strongest person in the world can “spend” their muscle strength in a
hard training session,
and then be utterly weak until they rest up and recuperate.
Any strength trainer will tell you,
however,
that resting your muscles and allowing them to recover is a big part of what
makes them stronger in the long run,
though.
People tend to think of willpower as an all-or-nothing thing—we either have
it or we don’t.
But willpower is best thought of as a tank that can fill and empty throughout
the day,
and can be influenced by our choices and environment.
A now-famous study published by the National Academy of Sciences showed what
happened when psychologists examined 1112 judicial rulings.
In these cases,
a judge needed to decide whether a criminal should be released from prison on
parole.
The researchers were surprised to discover that the judges’ choices appeared
to be most influenced not by the unique cases in front of them,
but by something else - the time of day.
Namely,
favorable rulings tended to be made sixty-five percent of the time if held in
the morning,
but chances of being granted parole would drop as the day wore on.
After lunch,
the positive-ruling rate shot back up to sixty-five percent.
But as the hours rolled by,
this rate again dropped steadily downward,
until it was near zero percent at the close of day.
It doesn’t take a genius to guess why.
The judges were simply getting tired!
After lunch,
somewhat refreshed,
they were able to give the cases their full and impartial attention,
but with each passing hour,
their “decision fatigue” increased and they made less charitable judgments.
It didn’t matter whether the crime was rape or murder or fraud—the pattern
was consistent.
It was as if the decision-making muscle of each judge was getting worn out and
less and less able to function correctly as the day wore on.
So what we can conclude (other than that we should schedule our parole hearings
for mornings if we can!)
is that the judges didn’t exactly have high willpower or low
willpower—rather,
they depleted what willpower they had.
In the same way,
that time you cheated on your diet last Tuesday doesn’t mean you had low
willpower—it just meant that your willpower current’s account was overdrawn
that day ...perhaps it had already been spent on something else!
So-called decision fatigue can also be understood as willpower fatigue.
You can say no to the temptation once (that’s one rep of your willpower
muscle)
and then say no to it again another dozen times later in the day (that’s more
reps).
But come the evening,
that poor willpower muscle is worn out.
So you arrive home after a long hard day and think,
“Well,
I’ve been so good.
I deserve it,” and you finally succumb to temptation.
This is not unlike what weight trainers call muscle “failure”—you
literally cannot use the muscle anymore.
Crucially,
your willpower muscle (your prefrontal cortex)
is responsible for a lot of different jobs throughout the day,
and spending all your will on one task means it’s not available for another
task.
For example,
you may have spent all day at work solving problems,
making decisions,
and resisting distractions.
When you get home and it’s time to go to the gym,
though,
you suddenly feel “too tired” even though you’ve been sedentary for hours.
You’re not lazy—you really are tired.
But what is exhausted is not your body,
but your sense of willpower and self-control.
Think of it as different currencies—you can spend dollars in one moment and
euros and yen in the next.
But ultimately,
it’s all money,
and you only have so much of it to spend.
Be Aware .- When was the last time your willpower failed?
What time of day was it,
what was the context,
and what made it so difficult to maintain discipline at that moment when you
had maintained it at other times?
If you can’t think of anything,
stay alert all throughout today and notice how your sense of self-control waxes
and wanes.
How To Protect Your Willpower.
So how do you cultivate and improve your own sense of self-discipline?
Well,
it’s not by magically creating more willpower—that’s impossible.
Instead,
it’s by protecting and managing the willpower we do have.
Here are a few simple ways to do that—notice that in each case,
you are Not required to strong arm your way through things and valiantly fight
off temptation.
Remember that you can only be strong for so long.
You need a strategy that will still be in place for all those times your
willpower muscle is fatigued and replenishing.
Do The Most Important Thing First.
This is only logical.
Prioritize the task that is most important and demands the most of you.
Many people do not really lack willpower at all,
but rather have just mismanaged their willpower and wasted it on the wrong
thing.
A good habit is to assign yourself just three things to do every day.
Choose no more than three tasks that you are unwilling to leave unfinished by
the end of the day.
Ask yourself,
“Which thing would,
if completed,
make me feel most satisfied and accomplished by the end of today?"
Then do that thing first.
You can tackle other less important ones later if you complete the important
three,
but do not allow these secondary tasks to derail or distract you.
For example,
you might be the kind of person who is most energetic and alert at 11 a.m.
every morning.
You put a fence around your best two or three hours and dedicate this time and
energy to your most important goals.
Instead of tiring yourself out on boring low-level work,
you spend this time strategizing,
creating,
solving problems,
or tackling the meatier issues.
Give Yourself Fewer Decisions.
Plenty of self-help advice out there tells you to “just decide to do it."
That’s well and good,
except you now know that the ability to decide is not infinite.
Instead,
treat your capacity for decision-making as a limited resource to guard.
Reserve it for situations that genuinely need it most.
The other stuff?
You can put that on autopilot.
If you can make something automatic,
then you no longer have to make a decision about it—or rather,
you make a decision once and move on.
For example,
if you keep finding that the chore of deciding what’s for dinner every day is
depleting your willpower too much,
then stop giving yourself that decision.
Set up a meal order service,
get someone else to cook for you,
or batch cook everything once a week and label your meals so you know ahead of
time exactly what you’re eating,
no further thought required.
It can be a waste of your time and energy to mull over improving your
decision-making process.
Instead,
just stop making as many decisions!
This is what schedules and habits are designed for—to take away your choice.
You could deplete your willpower trying to decide whether you should do X or Y
this evening.
But if you have a schedule,
you’ve already solved the problem—just consult the schedule and do that.
Don’T Beat Yourself Up.
If you simplify your life,
budget your willpower and energy and make the right thing the easiest and most
automatic thing,
you can get pretty far.
But even still,
you will occasionally make a choice you later regret.
We are all fallible,
and perfection is not possible.
This means we also need a strategy for dealing with inevitable slip-ups.
The best strategy is not to fall into self-admonishment and despair—primarily
because this approach will make you less likely to carry on!
Rather,
be compassionate with yourself.
Recover as quickly as possible by accepting the mistake,
then taking immediate action in the right direction again.
For example,
you may cheat on your diet and feel awful.
But forgive yourself and make your very next decision a good one.
Even better,
allow your remorse to be put to good use and ask yourself why you failed and
what you can do to be better next time.
Remember,
you will always be most effective and a far better learner if you take shame
and blame out of the equation.
Take Action .- Make a to-do list for today’s tasks,
focusing on just three most important items,
and do them all when you’re feeling strongest.
Notice how you feel.
Chapter Takeaways -
•To live a more self-disciplined life,
we need to understand only two main principles - 1)
be aware and 2)
take conscious action.
•Self-discipline has a biological and neurological basis—but though it
starts there,
it’s not where it ends.
Our decisions come down to opposing influences from our more primal and
instinctual hind brain and our higher prefrontal cortex.
The degree to which we have self-control is the degree of connection between
these two parts.
•Delayed gratification is the ability to delay the fulfilment of an impulse
for immediate satisfaction in favor of a reward sometime in the future.
It’s an essential part of a self-disciplined life.
By understanding the reasons you tend toward instant gratification,
you can remove them.
•By focusing on the benefits of delayed gratification and greater
self-discipline,
you keep your eye on the bigger prize and put momentary pleasures into
perspective.
Of all the many benefits,
the greatest is the real sense that you are in control of your own life—i.e.,
more freedom.
•Willpower is like a muscle—it builds with repeated use but can get
fatigued,
so it needs to be replenished.
Protect and manage your willpower by doing the most important tasks first,
simplifying life so you have fewer decisions (e.g.,
automating or delegating)
and quickly forgiving slip-ups when they happen.
This has been
15 Minute Checkpoint Due 29 Aug 2022 GMT-04:00