Everybody's got an opinion.

Every Californian, Virginian in Virginia, it's so hard to tell

who to cho and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle The Score.

Trey anChelseyBD will help you choose who's win, which.

Hello.

Well hello and welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing reviews.

That's Chelsey Donn and that's Trey Gerrald.

And together we are the Review Queen,

and here at Review That Review.

We believe in balance, the good, the bad, and the kvetchy.

So it's only fair that we take a little moment up top to vetch it out.

Chelsey, would you like to

Lodge A Complaint?

I will try.

Thank you for asking.

Always a live complaint these days.

As you pointed out earlier, you notice I have a bandaid.

On my middle finger on my left hand.

It's a cute color by the way.

It's

cute.

Isn't it nice?

It actually kind of matches my shirt a little bit.

It does.

Um, so Goldie's been having a little bit of tummy troubles since I was speaking

with her vet and they suggested that I start cooking food for her, which is just

another thing I need to add on the plate.

LOL.

And so I got home from work, it was like around midnight and I'm

cooking like her, I'm like boiling her chicken and veggies and rice.

And doing it all.

And I'm, I would guess I was tired from the day and I have these brand

new knives from our place, and I was like cutting the chicken with my right

hand and I guess like a moron maybe.

I was holding the chicken with my left hand.

I don't know what I was doing, but my hand was there and the knife went

through my nail, like it like cut.

My nail and it was like bleeding and it was after midnight and goldie's like

barking 'cause she wants the chicken.

And I'm like, shut up.

And I'm like bleeding everywhere and I'm just trying to avoid going

to the emergency room 'cause I just don't wanna deal with that.

So I like bandage up my finger and I get it to stop bleeding, thank God.

But it was super painful.

And then the next day I talked to my boss's, uh, boyfriend is a chef.

I. So I was like, what do I do about this?

And he said, you have to crazy glue it so that the nail doesn't split.

'cause he is like, part of the pain is the nail like pulling away from

each other 'cause it's like splitting.

And he is like, you're gonna lose the nail.

I was like, I know, but like, that's what you're afraid of.

Like, I don't wanna lose it by, it's splitting like that.

And so he put crazy glue on it and it feels much better.

I might do another round of crazy glue.

Yeah, you might as well.

Just to be safe.

Um, but yeah, like cutting myself when I'm cooking, especially when I'm

like, I'm really trying to do, I mean, usually when I'm cooking, whether

it's for Goldie or friends, like I'm, I'm trying to do something nice.

I'm bringing the love, I'm doing the Carla, I'm putting all

the love in my food, you know?

And so when I cut myself like that, it really just puts a

damper on the process, you know?

Well, of course.

'cause it's, it goes back to that, like when you were talking about, um,

cleaning, because it's like you have this intention and there's a timeline

attached to the intention, right.

And then it gets derailed.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh,

like, no, I gotta, now I gotta wrap up my hands.

It's just like, but you know, this also speaks to something that really hits

home for me is like when you get a, um, like when you get a. Tanker sore

or when you get a blood blister or when you like do something to your nail.

Yeah.

Where it's like

ever present

this, this little moment that I just lived through is going to be

with me for like eight months now.

I know.

Like that's very frustrating.

I

know, I know it's true.

And I really wanted to get a manicure.

Now I can get a manicure, but it is what it is folks.

I'm sorry, holy has food and I have a bunch in the freezer, so

hopefully I'm good for a little bit.

Hi, uh,

the things we do, you know, for the ones we love,

well complain, add to the

ledger.

Thank you.

Okay.

Alright, well should we get into an online review?

I think

we should.

I'm ready.

Well, before we do, if you were loving the show, can we just ask

that you please hit subscribe.

It's free, it helps us out and it keeps the reviews coming your way.

There's like another way to do this that I like, forget

if you're just listening.

We're trying to do hearts with our hands.

We're right.

Yeah.

Nice.

Love you guys.

Um, drop a comment.

We love hearing from you.

Tell us all the things that made you laugh, gasp, or say, oh no, okay.

Just do it.

Do it this week at some point.

I mean, the nail cutting was an, oh, no moment for me.

That was an

oh no.

All right.

All right.

Should we jump in?

Speaking of, let's do it.

Yeah.

Review That.

Review

As your trustee review Queens, we bring in internet reviews that

we feel need to be inspected.

We read you the review, we break it down and then we rate the impact of that review

on a scale from zero to five crowns.

It's a really regal process that we call

Assess That Kvetch.

That's right.

And it's your turn this week.

Trey, what have you brought in for us?

All right, everyone.

Okay.

This is a little silly.

Okay.

But I went to a place that we have never been before and this website,

I don't know if, if you recall, or listener, viewers, if you recall.

It got really tainted for me culturally because they had a data breach, so I just

decided I would never go to the website.

Okay, but we're gonna be reviewing a five star review from zappos.com or Zappos.

The shoes.

Yes.

Zappos is Spanish for shoes.

Yes.

Have you ever been to zappos.com?

I mean, probably once or twice.

Not somewhere that I frequent to be honest, but I know about it.

It's like Has like a footprint or something as the LogoVora?

Yes.

Right.

It it's like Zappo's exclamation mark.

Yeah.

Oh, it says the LogoVora is, um, it's been here for 25 years.

Okay.

So, um, pretty, that's pretty, that's not nothing.

That's not nothing.

And they got a five scar from somebody.

Yes, exactly.

Well, that's what we're gonna be investigating today.

Okay.

All right, so we are gonna be raining and reviewing this five star question mark.

Review from Hannah on zappos.com.

Four siren clogs by Crocs.

Do you know what that means?

Siren clogs?

No.

All right.

Well check out the screen.

Here we go.

This is the crock brand of high heeled Crocs.

Bet.

Oh,

heinously ugly.

Okay, so we gotta just, we gotta put it out into the, in, into the forefront

before we get into Hannah's review.

Oh my God.

Crocs are disgusting looking.

They're hideous.

I don't get it.

They're,

unless you're a child, like a toddler

and, and I think that, and even younger

children, but anyone beyond that.

What's the name for the little inserts you put in the hole?

Here we go.

I'm giving away my age.

Oh,

Jesus Christ.

I,

the little, the DLE berries or whatever they call them, those make 'em cuter

because I think part of what makes Crocs so ugly are the little holes.

Chelsea's gonna look it up.

I can tell.

Um, I

wanna look it up.

'cause bugging me.

Well, gimlets, gimlets or something like that.

That's a cocktail.

But that maybe they are called gimlets.

They might, you might be rights.

The Gr Gringle.

Dorf.

The gr, the Gryffindor.

We are so bad grid.

Now, this is just funny to me 'cause I feel like this is the

new Generation's Jelly shoes.

But in the summer of like 2005 Crocs were so popular.

Gbit Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs.

And like I remember they were so expensive.

I had like a fake version.

Um.

And then they like went away and they've had this giant resurgence.

It's like every, like every time I, if you're working

in a garden, if you're a doctor, if you're a baby, yes.

If you're a toddler,

it's good for little toddlers.

Yes, of course.

And they were very popular that one summer in 2005 for me, because

I was doing an outdoor theater job and it was on the water.

Mm. And there was like sand everywhere.

So it was like, that makes sense.

Lightweight and great.

Okay.

If you're

using it for like utilitarian purpose, yes.

But a heel.

I mean, I think this is just so hilarious.

A, um, I mean exhibit A, your Honor.

Um, okay, so let's, let's read Hannah's.

Okay.

Five star.

Review.

This is the most dangerous shoe I've ever worn and I made in through

the aughts and all kinds of sky high, poorly constructed eye heels.

You need ankles of absolute steel.

Oh my God.

To navigate the world in these, which I have.

If you wanna wear these outside, make sure there are no hills, no matter

how small, because your feet will roll uncontrollably with gravity as you

fight to stay in the soft crosslight bog, they also look absolutely insane.

I added spikes and pearls to mine, and it's like I'm on the fury road of it.

Were made of marshmallow.

Okay?

I'm gonna buy these in every color and wear them every day.

Five stars.

Um, wait a minute.

Which has happened.

We just switched reviews at the very end.

And the last, last two sentences.

The last two.

Well,

okay.

Yes, yes.

But when you actually go through every single sentence, they're saying It's

the most dangerous shoes I've ever worn.

And I have experience in dangerous shoes.

Yeah, you need absolute ankles of steel, which I have.

You're gonna like roll and be crazy.

Um, they look insane.

I made them look more insane.

I want them in every color.

So like it is ying and yang, but you don't catch it.

Right.

Because they're like so insistent of how awful, ugly, dangerous they are.

Right.

It's weird.

I mean, okay.

Interesting.

'cause I really was like five star and then I guess this is a five

star experience for them in a way.

Maybe it's queenly because it's like, here's everything wrong with these shoes.

Don't come for me.

Do not come for me.

If you roll an ankle, do not come for me.

If somebody tells you that they're hideous, do not come for me.

If you fall down a hill or can't walk up a hill, do not come for me.

That being said, love them.

I mean, the reason I love this review is that Hannah is saying

everything that we, we said before, like Crocs are disgusting looking.

They're, they're awful, and Hannah includes a photo.

Um, and these are the Gibbs.

Not Gimlets or um, BB Griffin Doors.

Gibb Gibbs.

What did I say?

Jesus

Christ.

Wait, what did I say?

I think Gee, Gibbs, I dunno.

Whatever they are, they're spikes and pearls.

Yeah.

And I'm assuming, is Fury Road made of marshmallows?

Is that like Super Mario Kar reference?

I thought Fury Road was like, oh shit.

Mad Max or something.

Mad Max.

Yeah, I don't know.

Um,

these pearls and spikes are interesting because the spikes are white.

Yeah.

They're like white.

They're like

white, like they're sharp whites, but they're white spikes.

So like, you almost like don't realize that they're, and

then they're mixed pearls.

I don't know.

As we're going through this, can we look back at the, um, actual image?

Um, I really.

Like, wanted to buy these, but they are 74 95.

Wow.

At the time of recording.

And I really wanted to buy the pink ones 'cause That's hilarious.

Which they call Pink Crush.

Um, but they didn't have them in my size and I didn't really wanna spend $75 Yeah.

That song.

But I

did.

Anyway, stop it.

Re oh my god.

Tree's wearing the, the black ones are probably the most acceptable.

So.

Trey, you've outdone yourself, queen.

He's walking like a pro.

Honestly, not having any problems walking at all looks like,

honestly, making it fashion.

Like I would never in a million years have thought that this

crock eel could be fashion.

But Trey with his little jeans just pulled up.

It looks like fashion, and he is walking.

He's like.

Oh, he's actually, he's walking the duck.

He is walking the duck.

He just did a, a fall, like a, what do they call them?

A fall?

Whatever.

He's keeping that clog on.

He just looks fan for, he's doing a whole routine, you guys.

If you're not watching this.

Whoa.

He fell.

He fell.

Oh, he fell.

It happened.

I was acting.

Oh, he was acting.

He's fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Tyra Banks.

He.

Right.

They look kind of good on you.

You kind of work those.

Wow.

I do think that black is the only acceptable color because if I didn't

know that that was a crock, I might just think that that was a clog.

A clog.

Right.

You know, like I wouldn't know that it was me out of crock material.

Are you gonna wear those IRL.

So at Thanksgiving I had them and we do like an annual Thanksgiving

walk, like, because it's something David saw that Julia Michael said on

the Biggest Loser like 15 years ago.

So obviously she's never done anything problematic.

Oh my God, it's so funny.

And um,

my like 7-year-old nephew insisted on wearing them and so

he wore them and he didn't fall.

It was really impressive.

He wore them on

the whole walk.

He did.

And it's like a long walk.

Quick Patreon plug.

I have a Patreon only Jillian Michael story that I will tell on the after show.

I'm scared.

Um, okay.

Let's get back to Hannah.

Yeah.

Do you think there's any new, unique, valuable info in here?

I do.

I mean, I think that everything that I feared about these

shoes, Hannah was like, yep.

That's exactly what's gonna happen to you.

So in a way, I feel like safer.

'cause I'm like, okay, it's not just like this Pollyanna review

and then I'm gonna get the product and I'm gonna fall or something.

I'm like, okay, if I am gonna spend $75, I better really want these

and be like, I'll just figure out how to tape my feet into them.

Yeah.

You know,

I will say that now that I'm like currently wearing them.

And, and like I have done drag, so I have experience in like heels.

Yeah.

They're not that like, it doesn't seem, I mean I guess I haven't gone up a hill,

but my little 7-year-old nephew who like doesn't wear heels, like he didn't fall.

Um, I don't know that they are as dangerous.

It's a little like, you have to get your grounding right.

I mean, um, spelling, grammar.

There are a couple of mistakes in here.

Yeah, there's probably three in there.

Okay.

Um.

So she, so Hannah could have used a, a little bell check.

Yes.

Truthful, shady.

I mean, I think it's a humorous take.

Yeah.

That I don't think is shady.

Like, I don't know, I don't wanna just give Hannah a pass here because

I like, think that it's funny.

But like, I, I do think that there's an intention at humor that they are

kind of burying the lead until the end.

Um,

yeah, and it was like a fun switch.

Like I didn't, I didn't see it coming,

and I will tell you, we're not gonna get into this, but for whatever reason,

the demographic of reviews about Crocs turned very American patriotism Oh, wow.

In the review section, which I, I don't know what any of that is about.

So Hannah really did stick out Okay.

As like a beacon of like.

Whiteness when we're talking about these ugly shoes.

So I guess maybe because it's an, I think maybe it's just everything

is from America with, with Crocs.

Like the plastic or what?

I don't know.

Maybe whatever.

I, I don't know.

I'm, it's all conjecture.

Um,

okay.

Well, I feel like I, I mostly know who Hannah is enough to maybe even Crown.

I think I could crown Hannah too.

Yeah, let's do it.

All right.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five Crown

cards, including half crowns.

And in order to not be influenced by one another, we're gonna

simultaneously reveal our ratings.

Total school.

Okay.

The queens are unanimous.

Four and a half crowns.

Four and a half crowns.

I thought this was a pretty fun review from Hannah.

Um, I do love a positive review that has the negativity balance

'cause it really makes me.

Believe you.

Like I can understand that you like a product that's not perfect.

I don't have a problem with that.

And I think there's something nice about all of the disclosure, even though we

love them and we'll continue to buy them.

So the thing about the style, and I found it funny and the twist was

interesting, four and a half crowns.

Why did you give Hannah four and a half?

Oh, I also just wanna mention that I actually got them on sale.

I did not spend $75.

I just need that to be very clear.

I do not think these are worth $75.

Okay.

But the crock brand is like exorbitantly expensive, in my opinion.

Yes.

Yes.

I think Hannah really like hits it outta the park, including the picture.

Yeah, but I just, I do think because of the bait and switch and like the pivot

change and the humor going so hard.

It might get lost a little bit.

And so I couldn't say Review Queen, even though I really do love it.

And I did buy the product and I guess I have, um, stronger heels than Hannah.

You heard that?

Hannah?

You heard that?

You heard you a little showdown.

Oh my.

I train my win.

Trey's very good with those rock heels.

Well, I don't know.

I've never gone up a hill, so that is true.

Well, that's it.

Crocs, you guys.

Wow.

Crocs is c. Crocs It is.

I'm not gonna buy them.

I still refuse to buy them.

Ah.

All right.

Well, Queens, we have aired our grievances.

We've inspected Hannah's review, and now why don't we flip the script

and shine a light on something that is truly deserving of a crown.

That's right.

Chelsey, we've reached the most regal portion of our show.

Who are you inducting today for?

My royal line is, okay.

I wanna talk about the person when you're driving in traffic.

Who is the good Samaritan of all good Samaritans?

The person who sees that you are trying to merge, whether you're trying to

make a turn or you're turning out of a gas station, or you're turning out of

your house and you need to make a turn.

The person who just pauses gives you the wave and lets you through.

That person can change the course of an entire day.

Truthfully, that's true.

I aim to be that person whenever possible.

I really, really do because I've been in the position of needing to

let people help me merge multiple times, so I try to pay it forward.

I. But that person deserves a moment, deserves recognition

because you are changing things.

Listeners, be that person.

Let someone merge.

They're, you know, they're just, maybe they're having a rough day,

they just need a little bit of help.

They're not being obnoxious.

They just need to get to where they're going.

And a little bit of a pause from you to make all the difference in the world.

So thank you to the people that do that.

I see you.

I appreciate you and I am nominating you.

Officially as My Royal Highness.

You're definitely not nominating me.

I am.

Um, I'm, oh no, not a good Samaritan when it comes to driving.

Really?

I turn into a road rage monster.

I am insane.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's, it's, I, I'm not very proud of that, but I will say, you highlighting this.

Is so true.

I mean, it is literally when someone is like a good Samaritan driver,

it really changes everything.

I'm gonna try, I'm gonna take your challenge.

Thank you.

I'm gonna try to try this this week.

Just, yeah, just try it just once and see how it makes you feel and see how many

more people do it for you when you start doing it for other people, you know?

Yeah.

It's a, it's a, it's a circle, circle game.

Circular in my high heels up a hill.

Wow.

They look kind of great on you.

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm gonna walk up this hill in my heels.

Um, all right, well, we did a queen, the good, the bad, and the kechi.

Mm-hmm.

Another round on the R-U-A-R-Q, Ferris Wheel of Rolling Ankles.

Thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend and let someone in on traffic.

And if you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy and

don't let someone in into traffic.

Yeah, that's right.

Okay, on this week's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing

a five star review or the LG.

French door mood up refrigerator.

Oh, from the algae website.

Wow.

That's so interesting.

I can't wait to see why this was said.

So when I first moved to LA I was really good friends with this girl who was

Jillian Michael's like personal assistant.

Did she finger her personal assistant?

Why did I ask that?

Yeah.

I wonder.

I wonder why it was said, girl.

I wonder too.

Well, how could we find out instead of wondering, I guess I'll have

to listen to the after show.

I guess we'll have to go to Review That Review dot com slash patreon so

that we can hear thet about Jillian Michaels and also this review,

and maybe watch Trey do another model strut and these siren clog.

Ooh, I, we should be all be so lucky as to get another view of that

as you are going to patreon com and you're subscribing.

For a low, low price.

Also, remember,

ignore the haters.

You're a queen.

Gender nonspecific queen.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

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Arc vetch line is open 24 7 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.

Don't be a, a sugar.

Go the fetch line today

along fa saying,

bye.

Love you.

Thanks for watching Queens.

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