Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host, Aurora, lash coach and companion on this beautiful

journey called life. I hope you're doing good, I hope you

feel safe. I hope you're in a good space mentally and

emotionally. It is Easter weekend. Who would have thought?

Yeah, it is April 7. And I talked to a couple people today,

and most people were a little bit anxious nervous for this

weekend to arrive. But also to be over with. I think I attract

people who were fairly authentic, and usually tell me

exactly how they feel. There's no beating around the bush. So I

always get to hear about the nitty gritty details that of

course, are safe, I'm not going to share them with you here and

anything, but it's quite interesting how we put ourselves

in position where we feel anxious and nervous, and we do

it to please others to, you know, keep harmony to keep the

family together. And at the same time, are we being honest with

ourselves? Are we being authentic with our true nature,

I feel we can do both, I feel we can be a social animal, we can

be a family member. And at the same time be authentic as well.

But sometimes there's members in the community or in our family,

who make it rather difficult to be authentic and to stay kind

and graceful. And this is what I want to talk about today and

said it is so incredibly important wherever you go, and

not only in family dynamics, so for family gatherings, that we

don't take what people offer to us. And what I mean by that is

not the Easter egg, not the little gift that they bring or

the flowers they deliver. But the heavy emotions, the

memories, the accusations, the expectations, that people try to

put on us that we are supposed to take on. And then yeah,

accommodate the other person or react to the other person. We

can be selective and this is one of the biggest parts of coaching

when when I work with my clients is to really become a detective

about what brings you joy, which connections are nurturing and

good for you. And which connections are we going to

gently and gracefully address, clear up or even push further

away from us without causing a big dramatic reaction or

response in the other, which cannot always be controlled. But

to have the intention to make changes in a smooth way and not

dramatic way and to find out. Who are the people that are good

for you and who are the people that you can learn from and feel

inspired by. And who are the people that you can just keep a

little bit at a distance. Don't get me wrong, sometimes we get

triggered by people because we need to heal. It's not their

fault by how they show up. It is how we react to them and how we

can learn to heal when we feel triggered. So not to blame

others but to look internally where we can grow and expand and

just let go of insecurities a little bit more. But when it

comes to people who are very unhappy with their lives and

they just take it out on us through you know sarcasm or

weird comments, rip shots. We don't have To take that anymore,

we live in 2023. Where everybody may be offended for one thing or

another another. No, I'm just, I'm just joking here, but we are

in a time where emotional evolution is required. Let's put

it that way. And it's a great thing. We don't have to expose

ourselves to stupid, silly bullying anymore. Right? I was,

I was born in the 80s. And nowadays, I'm just happy to go

to bed at night, not being feeling bullied or harassed or

humiliated, or attacked emotionally. Because back then,

I don't know, we just, we just were very rough on each other.

And now people who are rough on other people are being called

out. And I wish I really wish that existed when I was little

when I was at school. But I want you to claim this beautiful,

emotional change that the world is going through right now. And

to stand up for yourself to stand up for others who might

not hear this episode, and you hear it and are being reminded

next time you witness somebody bullying another and to have

sentenced sentences. Sorry, ready? Like, how did you mean

this? What do you mean by what you just said? I feel really

uncomfortable with what you just said. I feel you are seeing this

from your perspective, and don't really understand where I'm

coming from. I feel that you are taking out your insecurities on

me. sentences like that can totally take out the wind out of

somebody's sails. You know, like sailboat sails. Who has weird

intentions, mean intentions or is just full on? Unaware, so

unaware, and they don't even know how they make you feel. And

this is how we can teach people how to hand handle us not handle

us, I want to find a different word, how to treat us exactly.

You don't need to have people treat you poorly. You don't need

to allow that. And I really don't like how there's like this

whole talk about narcissism and paths out there. And yeah, we

both exist. But I think all people have both sides inside of

themselves. And depending on what they exposed to, they react

a certain way. But really to claim their power to communicate

how you feel in the moment to stand your ground. And to not

take on that gift. So to say that somebody wants to place

into your hands when they make a weird comment in that moment

when a weird common comes when this. Yeah, awkward expectations

from relatives and in laws are being expressed. You don't need

to take it on, you don't need to leave it, like coming so close

to you that you have spontaneous reaction to it. You just leave

it laying there on the table in between you and the other person

and you look at it and you decide if you want to take it on

or not. And if you really feel that this person keeps bugging

you and really doesn't understand, then just say

something like, yeah,

I really think we are on different pages and I really

don't see any reasons why we should continue this

conversation. Because you don't understand me You clearly don't

know who I am. And to not say that in an aggressive way but

assertive way and very clear way and In that way we can protect

ourselves from weird mental attacks, or unawareness from

other people. And honestly, you actually helps the other person,

you not only show them how you want to be treated, but they

might think about their behavior and react differently in the

future with with other people and talk differently more kinda

with other people. So it's basically our duty to ourselves

to communicate boundaries like that, but also for the fellow

people, you know, community members out there. If there is a

bully in your community, you don't need to call them out and

put them on a pedestal and throw rotten tomatoes at them. But you

can be very clear with them, and then they will change with time

or leaves. They will leave because nobody, you know, reacts

to their attacks or hooks anymore. So I want to make sure,

always, always, always that you feel connected, that you feel

the love that you feel that you can reach out when something is

bugging you. And so I encourage you to connect with me over

Facebook and shoot me a question there or request an episode. Or

share with me what's bugging you and then we can go from there. I

make no claims of being a mental health practitioner or doctor.

I'm none of that. I'm a life coach. I'm a yoga teacher. And I

truly care about the people in my community. But if there's

anything I can do for you to help, please don't hold back. If

you liked this episode, make sure to press the subscribe

button. Give me a rating of five stars if it sounds spread, or a

review, it helps tremendously to support more people out there

who need to hear this. And if you want to buy me a coffee of

course I'm not going to buy coffee with your precious goods.

But I'm gonna invest it into the year experience, which is a

physical location where I offer relaxation classes. And I'd love

to see you there in the future and have you recharge your

batteries enjoy silence and forest and a beautiful fireplace

and golian beard. Alright, without further ado, happy