All right, hello. Hello. Hello, hello, Aurora

fans. This is the Borealis experience with me your guest

host. I am Troy. Vincent. I know that's extremely disappointing.

And to make it up to you completely. I have as my guest

here this week. Her name is Aurora. Welcome to the program,

Aurora.

What a nice introduction. Thank you so much Troy. And yeah, I'm

very excited to be spending some time with you today and to, to

hopefully answer all your questions that you have. And to

Yeah, have a good conversation flowing.

Good, good. This idea came about last time when we spoke when you

had me as a guest. And I'm not used to being a guest. I don't

usually talk about myself a lot. I spent 23 years in radio. So I

like being the host. And I like learning about other people. So

thank you for this opportunity to be hosting your podcast. I

appreciate you.

Oh, yes, yes. And I know I will learn lots from a pro when it

comes to interviews and how to Yeah, formulate questions, how

to get the person to say everything that you want to know

about them. And yeah, I love being in the hot seat.

Okay, let's put you in the hot seat. You ready?

Yeah. I'm so ready. Here's your

first first tip. I have five big questions for you Aurora. Oh my

god. I have to answer them. All right. Yes or no? Are the

Bengals winning the Super Bowl on Sunday?

It's gonna be a very tight game. I'm absolutely not interested in

Super Bowl. Football at all. I know. A lot of followers now. My

sport that I follow is soccer. So I'm very excited that Senegal

made it into the into the Yeah. Soccer. How do you say the World

Cup? What kind of cup is coming up here soon

to Lhasa. So that's all I'm familiar with when it comes to

soccer.

All right. Well, you see there is no compatibility here when it

comes to sports. That's

the question was yes or no. And you have yet to say either one.

I will say no.

Okay. Yes or No? Should I invest in crypto?

Ha. That's a good question as well, my friend. He really made

me sweat here. I would say yes. Try it out. Don't go all in but

try it out and see what happens. Yeah, and inform yourself from

the from the investment sharks out there. I'm not I'm not there

yet. I'm still a little dolphin in a shark tank and don't really

know what I'm doing when it comes to investing. But I'm

learning

from Shark Tank. I like that. Yeah. Question number three. Yes

or no? Can you make the wind stop?

Absolutely, yes. If we keep spending time indoors. Before we

can go into the basement. Its theme today. I mean, for people

who don't know southern Alberta. Yeah, it yesterday nearly

knocked me off my feet. We went for a hike and it was very

intense. The good thing about is that you don't need a hairdryer.

I get to dry my long hair in the wind. Within five minutes. It's

dry. And that's super convenient.

So nice. Yeah, Mother Nature. Yeah. Yes or no? Do you already

regret me hosting the show? A little

bit? Absolutely. I had a shower this morning. And I'm sweating.

Like, as if I was hiking a steep mountain. And I don't know

what's happening and how this is gonna go. But I stay connected.

Big Question. Yes or no? Are you ready for an actual real

conversation?

I am. I always yes, good.

Thank you for playing with me in that little quiz there. There's

a little technique for you know, I would do back on my radio

show. I found that some people would be a lot really, like

really nervous hopping on the radio. And so I would just ask

them some goofy questions just to loosen them up. Oh, I just

settled.

I love that so much. I love that so much. And I feel you should

do that with your coaching clients as well.

That's right. So one of my favorite things to do Aurora is

to learn about others. And so thank you for this opportunity

to learn more about you. You are a fellow coach, and I love

meeting a whole bunch of different coaches and finding

out what was the inspiration for becoming a coach and going down

that path. So share that story with with me and your audience.

That's such a beautiful question. And I feel so honored

to to be a fellow coach of yours because I know we'll learn a lot

from each other along the lines. I think like going back in time,

I was always a very introverted, observant child. And I was

always trying to make sense of people like why they behave a

certain way. Why people are so different when it comes to

opinions. And yeah, what what it is to be a human being why there

is bullying, like I got bullied lots at school, and I could

never make sense of it. Because I was never harming anyone. yet.

I was deeply triggering something in people I was always

the youngest, I was always more on the naive side. And some

people just thought that's fun to, to torture and to hurt. And

so I grew up thinking that I was really weird, and that I had to

change and that I Yeah, was not in the right place at the right

time ever. And it made Yeah, it was it was lots of struggles,

yet I was a happy and smooth child. So to say I was never

rebellious. I always sat down the pain. And I want to say in

my 20s and my 30s It caught up with me. Depression, started

kicking in anxiety. I always had a deep, deep sense of empathy

and wanting to heal people. So I became a physiotherapist. And

that helped me to to regain confidence and to find out okay,

I actually have a place in this world, I can help people. Also,

I want to mention that at a very young age. My parents, yes

struggle like young some young parents do. And I learned early

on that I have the power to make people feel better and happy.

Sometimes also wanting to be the clown right to act and to, to do

something that makes people laugh and lighten up a

situation. So that and finding out that I have healing powers

that I can help people as a physiotherapist helped me regain

a sense of self. But after a couple of years of working in

that field, I realized that I learned everything about the

body I'm I'm a total, yeah, physiology and anatomy nerd and

love to help heal the body. But there was some clients that were

not getting better at the speed I wanted or expected them to.

And I found out that it was their mind that was not in a

good place. And I didn't have the tools on how to help them.

So I started really burning myself out and being that little

clown that I used to be as a kid. But it wouldn't make them

feel better. It would make them laugh or make them feel good but

they wouldn't heal on a deeper level. And then also dealing

with my depression and anxiety I started becoming interested in

psychology and self help self empowerment, and I knew I didn't

want to go back to school and learn, like become a

psychotherapist. But I found out that there's Yeah, you can

become a coach if you hadn't become a counselor. And with the

experiences that I had from the past, it would give me Yeah, I

don't want to say an advantage but it would give me tools in

order to being able to relate to people who are in pain. So I

bought a bunch of books, I did a bunch of courses. And then yeah,

started to learn so much about the mind and how we can change

the neuroplasticity the way we view things for the longest

time, and then learn to see them in a different way. And now

working as a personal trainer and life coach, I can finally

help the people with physical ailments to also heal in the

mind and to do become more empowered than or more

themselves and who they were before the accident or before

the body got sick. And that's so incredibly rewarding. And I heal

at the same time as well. Because more and more I know,

okay, this is my place. This is how I can serve people. This is

how I'm not going to burn myself out. And this is how I can have

incredible conversations and connections with people. That

was a very long answer.

Beautiful one. Great, great, you just answered like for my next

questions. Oh, it's perfect. Easier, you make my job, I'm

happy. So thank you for that. So who is your favorite client

ever? And who's your least favorite client ever? Hmm. Let

me think about that.

My, my most favorite client is a person who is genuinely

interested in healing and moving forward and curious about his or

her body. I feel all too often we just, yeah, drag our body

along and odd and it gets sick. And now we have to take care of

a body. Like someone who maybe a little bit at the start is

neglecting the body and then through the coaching realizes,

oh my god, like my body is my best friend. And if I don't take

care of my body, then yeah, I'm not going to be here for long or

be enjoying life for as long as possible. So people was a little

bit of resistance, but then kind of I managed to, to melt them

down and in a good way and to make them appreciate what they

have. My least favorite client is is a person who cannot

surrender to to the healing journey. A person who has to

analyze everything who has to control everything and who has

to be on top of everything at all times and brings the tension

into the session the not wanting to let go of rationality and

dropping into the heart a person who Yeah, it's not and then

again, I mean a good coach can can melt these people down and

make them surrender but some people are too stuck in their

ways. And and don't ya want to open up and don't want to really

heal, there's like a secondary gain that is way stronger than

wanting to heal because they get attention from people or they

don't have to go to that shitty job again. So me as a coach, I

will have a very hard time to to try and conquer that secondary

gain way of viewing things and it's yeah, that's those are the

very challenging people to

coach people who remain guarded. Yeah, and tune into the primal

part of their brain and don't want to change their identity or

behavior or belief or anything like that.

Yeah, I think we're all guarded to some degree and a good coach

can can Yeah, help people to relax and open up over time. Not

in the first session. I get that. But yeah, people who who

come to a coach coaching session because spouse sent them or the

parents sent them. Like that's always? Yeah.

Not always the toughest. Yeah. If you don't want to change for

yourself, and you're not going to exam I found anyway. No, it's

really, really tough. You need to be motivated by yourself.

Yeah. Share a coaching breakthrough that you have

experienced as a client, because I know that you have a coach,

all coaches have coaches, because we know how valuable it

is so deep into the, into the recesses of your brain, what is

something that you can share as a breakthrough that you've

experienced?

Hmm, that's such a good question. I shared on Facebook

the other day that when I was fighting depression, and deep

self doubt, and heartbreak, I went, I like came up with the

courage finally, to go and see a psychotherapist. And the message

that I got from her. And now looking back, I understand how

she meant it. But back then it was like, man, girl, you got to

toughen up, like, Yeah, this is not how you can live your life.

And you got to let go of that pain now and move on. And I went

home and I just thought, Man, That Woman is not getting me

like, I need different kinds of help. And it was two people that

I visited and two people who really made me feel worse

afterwards. And then a five years went without five years. I

just pretended everything was good and overcompensated with

exercising and stuff. And then I met this guy from from back in

the day, we reconnected over Facebook, and he was doing his

coaching training and offered coaching sessions. And with him,

it was so incredible. Like he asked me questions that never,

ever anybody asked me. And I talked about my pain and my, my

Yeah, trauma that I went through, it's 21 being raped.

And I still explained that very, like vividly as if the pain was

still there. And he asked me, Aurora, like, where are you

right now? And I said, I'm in Canada, I'm studying agriculture

at the college. And yeah, I'm gonna go for a walk here. After

the call. He's like, are you? Like, do you still feel that

pain from Maxon? And I said, no, like, everything healed, and my

body is pretty much normal. Like, do you still feel like the

grip of the person and the violence? And I said, no, like,

I still have the pictures in my mind. But no, I feel well. And

he went further and further and made me realize, okay, this is

something that happened. But I don't have to identify with

this. Like for years, I was walking around like a victim

being scared of man hating men rejecting men that were actually

nice to me. And he made me realize, hey, you still live in

that victim mentality. And I want you to pull yourself out of

this. Like you're not that victim anymore. Yes, this

happened. But if you keep at identifying with what happened,

you're going to be a weak person for the rest of your life. Like

you you will not be able to live up to your potential because you

think you're not deserving you think you are a constant victim

and men are bad. That's not gonna serve you on your journey.

So let's please work on letting go of that identity. And that

was like such a mind opener and heart opener and a huge

breakthrough for me as six six years ago, I was now

nice congratulations on making that transition. That is a tough

one. What was it like when he stated like you're in a victim

mindset you have a victim mentality How did you initially

react to that were you open up to it to analyze it or it was a

part of your brain kind of rejecting it right away like got

defensive?

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Cuz I think the reason why is that my

ego my mind wants to protect me to not go through that pain

again. So my thinking subconsciously was If I cling to

that victim mentality, then this will never happen to me again,

because this is how I protect myself. But at the same time

what I was doing, I was closing myself up to beautiful

experiences, and to, to feel myself and empowered again. So

yeah, when he said, Hey, we're gonna learn to let go of this

now. I was like, I get what you're saying. But a lot of, of

me is still clinging to that. And that made me realize how

much that thing, that identity had me under control. And after

we hung up, I was like, okay, but I don't want that I get what

he's saying. And I'm gonna work on it. And I'm gonna let go of

it. So yeah, there was instant resistance. And then it made

sense. And I allowed, I allowed him to, yeah, work on me and,

and I was able to liberate myself.

Nice, liberating yourself as good, so good. For those who may

be watching and listening, and as they sit there and explore

themselves, they may at some point discover they're in a

victim mindset. What advice would you have for those people?

I would say that it's, it's perfectly normal and perfectly

natural, to be in the victim mentality and to feel like a

victim. Because it is intense pain and trauma that you went

through. But do you want this one thing, or those couple of

things that happen to you, like, decide how happy and content you

are in the future? Do you want that, to hold you back? And and

not believe in yourself as much as you could? And can you see,

like, it sounds so silly. But every situation as shady as it

was, there was something that also happened at the same time.

That is good, that you've learned a lesson that you've

learned, or, you know, how to say a light bulb that that

suddenly, you know, how do you say that in the comic book when

you suddenly have an idea? So yeah, yeah, like, for instance,

going back to, to my my story. Of course, when you hear being

raped, nothing can be good about this. Absolutely nothing,

everything is horrifying about it. But when you think about it,

what's the good outcome there is that I realized that I have

absolutely no boundaries. If somebody says Aurora, you need

to do this and that for me, or Aurora, we're going to do this

now. And even if my intuition says, No, I will still say yes.

And this is what brought me into that situation. Because I don't

want to hurt people. I don't want to reject people. And

that's something I can work on. So that whole shift situation

made me realize, Oh, my God, I have to learn and communicate

better. I have to stand my ground, I have to have

boundaries, I have to learn to listen to my intuition. And to

focus just on that and to get better, like, every week, like

write down in your journal. Hey, how did you use your intuition

this this week? How did you kindly gracefully set boundaries

this week? And so, so that's, I think, what I want to say about

the victim mentality that, that you can learn something from it

and focus on that and know that you're so much more than the

pain that you went through.

Wow, thank you for sharing that. That was incredible. The think

well, our brain kind of turns on that self defense mechanism

pretty quick when someone will say you're in a victim mindset

because somewhat they they take it as an attack almost psycho,

you're trying to say I'm weak or, and and I think the thing to

keep in mind is just observing, you know, I've been in a victim

mindset before, and I was grateful to come out of it. And

for those who may discover there, just know that there's no

shame in it, like you had mentioned, you know, it's it

happens, it's expected, the brain just goes there. And it

helps protect this, at least in the short term. And that's why

it's doing it. That's why we're in that mindset. It's just

simply recognizing that there's a better way to continue forward

at some point. And thank you, no, thank you brain for even

putting you in that victim mindset because it helped

protect you for a short time, right and, and keep you going

and go, thank you for the job you've done. Now, I'm safe to

move on and do this. And you'll make that shift and you make

that transition. And yeah, no, no need to feel shame or judge

yourself in that moment, if you find yourself in a victim

mindset. So your your next personal growth step, what is

that going to be for you? What obstacles? Are you looking to

overcome Aurora?

That is a very, very good question that's going to bring

out the vulnerable and fully transparent Aurora. I love it. I

would say it's two things, I'm still I still get triggered so

easily. I know when I'm tired when I didn't sleep well, it's

it's more extreme than when I when I had a good night's sleep.

But I have a couple of people in my life that I want to have in

my life that still manage to make me I think in English, you

say make me cave. So I kind of let them push me into a corner.

And they don't really see it realize it until I explode and

to communicate to them early on, hey, you're making me feel

uncomfortable, hey, you can we talk about this, like it was,

you know, like to communicate before I explode with these

people who really know how to push my buttons. That would be

one thing. And the other thing would be to overcome. Like,

still the little bit of disappointment that I feel and

let down that I feel from my family, that they're not fully

supportive of what I'm doing. Like, it's not that I that they

think it's stupid and unnecessary. But to like I

imagined the other day, for instance, if I had a daughter,

and she was trying to build a business, she was trying to

serve people and stuff, my God, I would be excited and tried to

do everything to make her succeed. And what I'm receiving

from my family, I tried to transform into into boosting me

so not to wanting to prove myself to them. But to know that

hey, yeah, I'm alone in this. And I'm going to reach out to

people who want to help me. And my family is there in the

background. And, and not applauding, not cheering, but

that's okay, too. They love me for other things. But I think

it's some people feel that more than others. To me needing a

little bit of approval needing a little bit of hay, you're doing

a good job there. And if it doesn't come from the family,

it's going to come from other people, you don't have to fixate

on certain people, if they don't want to give you that kind of

love or support. They're going to support you in other ways

when you need it. Does that make sense? Or was it a little bit

too much of?

No, no? Yeah, it reminds me of a quote of, I think I'll call it a

paraphrase because I'm not sure if we're gonna get it right. But

it said, Jorge, you know, don't expect people to understand your

dreams. They're for you. It's your dream. And it's okay if

they don't understand it. And sometimes that's really tough to

accept, because you're right, the people that you love, most

are close to you're like, Oh, I'd love to have their support,

because I would support them, whatever they do, you know, and,

and so that can be really tough to understand, but just, you

know, kind of hold on to that and remind yourself that it's

your dream and, you know, it's your vision, they can't see it.

And that's okay. You know, it's okay. have visions for you.

Yeah. And you will find your community of support. And so

that's important too. Yeah. Yeah. What is your what's your

biggest fear

My biggest fear is the death of a loved one. Yeah, that's, I

mean, I lost my both of my grandmother passed and that is

still hard to grasp. But two, they were getting weaker. They

were sick, you know, you could prepare yourself a little bit.

But people who went through that kind of grief and loss. Like, I

have so much respect for people who lost someone out of nowhere,

like suddenly that is my biggest fear. Physical pain when it

comes to me, but but losing someone that I love. That would

be Yeah. I know it's going to come at some point. I think

everybody goes to that. So yeah, that's something I really, yeah.

Resist. I don't want to experience but I know it's

inevitable. Yeah, that that, yeah, then that comes needing to

accept it. But I think I will have to learn to accept it.

While going through, like, before, I don't even know who it

would be, you know, like, I'm trying not to focus on it and

detach myself from that fear. But yeah, sometimes it creeps

up.

What would it be like to have that release, not hold on to

that fear, to have it revisit you from time to time?

Hmm. That would be like a huge relief. At the same time, I want

to be honest with you, I also use it to love harder, and to

love more fiercely and to be more present. So it's also a

good thing. Like, I from a young age, I thought about that. And

it was always a big fear of mine. And I tried to just make

something good of it. And to Yeah, be less on my phone when

people are around me or wanting to talk to me or you know, make

more goofy lovey dovey things then probably necessary. Yeah,

to also use it as my drive. But yeah, if I could just because if

you say to let go of that fear, then I said, Oh, yeah, but then

I would appreciate people less maybe, and that's not what I

want. That's what I'm using it for?

Well, you make a good point of this is an example of taking an

emotion like fear. And really, emotions are neither negative or

positive. They are what we labeled them and all of them can

be an instrument. And so with this fear creeps up for you, you

step back and go, Oh, what's this? What's this fear of right?

And you can find out the origin of it on, I value these people

in my life. And then your response to that is to make sure

that you're present, make sure that you express your love for

them. And so you turn it into a positive. So I think that's a

good lesson for all of us. You know, when you feel anger, it's

not a negative fear just means okay, this is communicating to

you something. So step back and go, I'm angry right now, what is

this trying to tell me? What can I learn from this? And you'll

you'll find out what that is, and it will help you moving

forward.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, similar with anxiety. I feel a lot of people

who get nervous and anxious. I had one person telling me yeah,

just just see it as your ignition. You know, when you

turn the key in your car, it has to roar a little bit, and

there's that energy that comes up and just envision it as

something positive and you care about it. And it's, it's good to

have that little bit of anxiety right? Because lots of people

don't want to feel that.

Yes, welcome all your feelings. Don't come try to repress them.

It's not possible anyways.

Do you know that scientifically, an emotion lasts 90 seconds?

That's it. 90 seconds. Holy. On so for when it lasts longer,

it's because we're engaging it right. So, you know, our

thoughts are fueling it. And then that creates more emotion

and emotion creates more thoughts. And it just, the cycle

continues. So when you're in a bad state like that, that's why

it happens. But if you develop the tools to have emotional

resiliency, you know, step back, breathe your way through it.

Calm your mind, calm your body, take care of the physiology, you

can let that wave of emotion, kind of subside and will sustain

and then you can react properly. It's interesting was a long time

ago,

I will have to write that down on a piece of paper, because

I'm, unfortunately, so good to cling on these emotions,

especially when it comes to anger and sadness. And to sit in

there for so long. And too, I'm poisoning myself by doing that.

And I'm, it doesn't serve anybody or anything. And that

was a write that down 90 seconds. Wow.

Cool. And I can relate to what you're saying about, you know,

anger and sadness. Those would be big ones for me. You know, I

could stew in either of those for hours once upon a time. Now,

if it only bothers me for five minutes, I'm like, victory. This

is great. Wow. But yeah, thinking about like 90 seconds.

Wow, I could I can even improve this even more. Yeah, keep

working.

Yeah. That was great advice.

So I would like to wrap up this conversation, Aurora, by you

telling us what's three things you love about your life right

now?

Those are so good. I would say number one, the people I need,

just like you and the conversations I can have. With

technology. I know a lot of people know, we're all addicted

to technology. But yeah. It has such good sides to it. And I

love that that's possible.

So yeah, number one connecting with deep conversations through

deep conversations with people like you living out here in the

forest, in a house with no phone and no internet. And having to

go like having to walk to my Wi Fi station.

Like making a very intentional when I'm going to use my phone

and not and trust me whenever I'm in the real world. I'm I'm

so glued to my phone. And I have to remind myself, what am I

doing here sort of live to live a little bit of bread, but not

totally is also a blessing. And then to have the podcast and the

coaching and to know that I can serve people and yeah, give

people like tools to to make their life a little juicy. Or to

be a little bit more content if it's just 10% you know, just

just have a little bit more confidence in themselves. And

the feedback that I received there is just so yeah, it's so

beautiful and somewhat evading. Yeah, I would say those are the

three things.

That was wonderful. Thank you for sharing that and everything

else here today. You've been an amazing guest

Well, thank you so much for making the time and being my

host and such a good yeah. Interviewer like I love the

questions and we need we need your voice out there again, like

I know you might not go back to radio maybe but I hope beyond

coaching you will be there for people to to listen to you. And

yeah, we stay connected.

Absolutely. Okay, I like that idea. The good news is my time

is done and your regular hosts will return next episode of the

Borealis experience. On behalf of my guest Aurora. I'm Troy

Have a great Day.

Bye Bye. Well, what a great pleasure to Have had Troy asking

me these wonderful questions and to learn from a professional

radio host. You also got the chance to Yeah, learn a little

bit more about my background, my motivation, my intentions. And

yeah, I felt very vulnerable. sharing all this, but it felt

good. I want to feel connected to you. I want to get to know my

listeners better. And when I open up, then I feel Yeah, I'm

doing my part. So thank you so much for listening to this

interview. I deeply appreciate you. And thank you so much to

Troy for making the time incredible person and human

being to have in my life. take really good care of yourself and

we will stay connected and to my listeners. We will connect again

on Thursday. And if you have any questions if there's anything

you want to request, when it comes to episode, topics, please

never hold back. If you want to send me sign of appreciation and

the link below in the show notes. There is the buy me a

coffee link. And yeah, I'm always so excited and grateful

to receive a donation from you guys and girls. This is the way

I can keep this little business going. Thank you so much. And

until next time