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HR Party of One is brought to you by BerniePortal.

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Have you ever had an AWKWARD conversation?

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And, no—I am not referring to that awkward first date

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or having to tell someone they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe.

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I’m talking about the awkward conversations that HR sometimes has to have with an

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employee—the ones that seem as though they should be completely unnecessary,

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yet, as HR, you will likely have to have them at some point in your career.

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Perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones who haven’t yet experienced these conversations. Or,

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maybe you’re cringing, thinking back to the time you had to tell an employee to take a shower…

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Yup, that’s right. One of the awkward conversations could

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be having to politely tell an employee that they smell bad. Talk about AWKWARD.

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However, there are appropriate ways to have these conversations. Albeit,

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they will still be uncomfortable, but I’m going to help make them a little

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less uncomfortable by sharing how you can handle them throughout this episode.

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I’ll go through a series of awkward discussions that HR may need to have and how to go about

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having them. I’ll discuss things from bad body odor to nose picking, and more.

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Excited? Grossed out? Let’s get started!

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Awkward Scenario #1

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A new guy was hired at your organization. You have a casual office setting with a casual dress code,

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so he comes into work wearing gym clothes, which is perfectly acceptable. Except,

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he heads straight into the office after working out. The coworkers on his team have started

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complaining about his body odor, saying it’s very distracting and hard to focus on work.

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It has been weeks now, and it seems this new employee intends on keeping this “workout and

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head straight to work” routine, skipping the whole shower and cleansing portion.

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As you can imagine—this is disrupting anyone that needs to work with this

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employee throughout the day or anyone who sits near him.

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Smells can be overpowering, making it impossible to block out and focus on work. Not to mention,

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it’s not a pleasant or welcoming work environment for people to come into each

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day. Bad smells can affect productivity and mood, cause headaches, enhance stress levels, and more.

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So, HR must step in and tell this guy to shower…nicely.

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A few things to keep in mind when having this conversation:

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Try not to embarrass the employee. Don’t cause undue stress on the

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employee to resolve the issue, which can lead to additional body odor.

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Avoid accusatory language. And... Be supportive.

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So, to begin this conversation, you can start off by asking how he is adjusting to the company,

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how his first few weeks are going, etc. Get a feel for how he responds before jumping into

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the conversation. For all you know, there could be something actually going on that is preventing him

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from making the time to shower. You never want to assume you know why something is happening.

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If all is going well and you don’t see any reason as to why he isn’t showering,

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you can then say something along the lines of:

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“Well, I know there is a lot to learn when you start at an organization, and it could

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be overwhelming. I’ve noticed that oftentimes, new employees will forget to take care of themselves

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while adapting, and that’s super important. For some, this could be not getting sufficient

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sleep or skipping meals. For others, it could be slacking on laundry and forgetting to shower. So,

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I just want to remind you how important it is to take care of yourself physically. Is

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this something you feel you have the time to do? How can I help ensure that you have this time?”

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They SHOULD decipher what you’re insinuating here. As the conversation progresses,

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there is the potential you may need to be more direct, but this is a good start.

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If the employee isn’t new, and this is a sudden change of body odor,

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the conversation would probably veer off at the start simply by asking them how they are

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doing and checking in on them in general. Likely, something shifted in their life that is causing

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B.O. to become an issue. In that case, the conversation would look a bit different,

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but would still address ensuring they have time to take care of themself.

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Bad smells aren’t the only issue when it comes to scents in the office. What about overpowering

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smells in general, like—excess perfume or cologne? Let’s dive into how to handle this one.

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Awkward Scenario #2

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While perfume or cologne may smell good, they can still be very distracting and can

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trigger the onset of migraines for those who are prone. Additionally,

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some people have high sensitivity and can be allergic to strong perfumes. Unfortunately,

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there is no room to be vague when addressing this conversation,

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but be sure not to mention the person (or people) who have brought this issue to your attention.

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You can say, “Hey, I love the smell of your perfume. However,

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you may not realize that it’s a bit strong and is causing discomfort to

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some people in the office. Can you use less of it from now on?”

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While the employee may feel embarrassed or awkward,

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this conversation is inevitable and the issue needs to be resolved.

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Awkward Scenario #3

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Smell is a big distractor, clearly. And oftentimes,

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people don’t recognize how their own scent is affecting other people, including bad breath.

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So, in scenario number 3, let’s say you have an employee who regularly meets and interacts

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with clients. However, this employee has chronic bad breath. It’s evident that no

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one wants to talk to her unless there’s a good distance between them. This will

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severely impact client relationships and can also impact others in the office.

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This employee has potential to be great at what she does, but you can’t have clients refusing to

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meet with her due to her bad breath. So, this is another awkward conversation that needs to be had.

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When having this conversation, make sure to: Be direct. If you try to offer a mint or gum,

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that probably won’t solve the problem. They can easily think you’re just being kind.

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Don’t assume. Bad breath can sometimes be the result of a medical condition that they don’t have

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control over. So, it’s important not to assume their bad breath is from lack of dental care.

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Therefore, you can say:

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“Hi, name, I heard great things about some of your recent client meetings! You provide

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value to our company, and I am excited to see you grow even more. To that point,

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can I provide some advice to help you advance even further?

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It’s come to my attention that your breath is perceptible and causing discomfort amongst your

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peers. I know this is a delicate subject but wanted to bring it to your attention

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in case you were unaware. Maintaining proper hygiene is an important element of a healthy

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and positive work environment. Please make sure you are brushing and using mouthwash

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daily. If it is a deeper medical issue, please consult with your doctor. I value you as a team

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member and want to make sure this is an issue you are aware of so you can take care of it."

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Awkward Scenario #4

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A lot of organizations have casual dress codes, as I mentioned earlier. While this is a great

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benefit for employees to work comfortably in the attire they choose, it can also open the

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door for some employees to take it a step too far. Especially when the warmer weather rolls around.

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This is a tricky conversation to have if you don’t have a particular

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dress code. That said, I do highly recommend outlining what is (and

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what is not) appropriate work attire in your Employee Handbook or Culture Guide. Therefore,

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when it comes time to having the conversation, you can actually address this one in an open

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setting so as not to call anyone out or make anyone uncomfortable.

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Use this as an opportunity to send out a reminder of the company’s dress code,

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which can be stored and easily accessed within the compliance feature of an all-in-one HRIS,

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like BerniePortal. You don’t have to point out specific examples,

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but rather ask everyone to please review and be aware of what’s acceptable.

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However, if an employee still isn’t dressing appropriately,

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then it’s time for a direct conversation. But, avoid accusatory language, such as

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“the way you dress” or “you’re violating the dress code”. Instead, you can say:

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“Hey, I sent out a reminder [insert when reminder was sent out] for all employees to review the

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company dress code, and I’d like to review it with you. While we do have a relaxed dress code,

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there are some clothes that should be worn out of the workplace. The policy

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doesn’t allow [insert the inappropriate dress code they aren’t abiding by]. Can

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you agree to dress according to the company’s policy going forward?”

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Awkward Scenario #5

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And for our final awkward scenario of the day—the nose picker.

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While someone picking their nose in the office may not cause migraines, it can certainly be a

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distraction. Not only is it just, well—gross, but it’s also a sure way to spread germs around. That

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colleague will be touching door handles, opening the fridge to get their lunch out, possibly using

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the company stapler or team computer! No one wants remnants of boogers lying around.

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But, sadly, HR may need to step in here and politely ask the employee not to pick their nose.

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Here’s what can be said,

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"Hi, have you had a chance to check out our workplace posters covering

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preferred hygiene practices? We like to keep a clean, comfortable space,

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so it's always helpful to review them. It's a good habit to wash hands all the time,

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regardless of industry, so I will add reminders to the bathrooms as

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well. Do you think that may help out with keeping the office cleaner and germ-free?"

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By not directly accusing the employee of unsanitary nasal scavenger hunts,

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and instead asking their insight as to office cleanliness, you can bring attention to the issue

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without embarrassing them. Also, this may help the employee develop a higher stake in ensuring

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a snot-free environment as the conversation allows them to provide input on something that is, well,

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basic hygiene. However, even if it's basic for many, some people may not realize they

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have bad habits. Reinforcing more acceptable standards by drawing the problem employee into

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the solution is an effective way to avoid too much awkwardness and fix the issue.

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So, that about wraps up my top 5 awkward conversations that HR pros may need to

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have at some point in their career. Definitely not ideal, especially when you know you have far more

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important tasks to get done, but they pop up once in a while. And these are only a handful of them.

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Do you have any other awkward conversations

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you’ve had to have with an employee? Share it with us in the HR community! You just may help a fellow

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HR pro out by sharing how you handled it. Or, if one pops up, and you’re unsure how to address it,

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you can ask for help there! Myself or another HR pro will be happy to go in and offer advice.

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We all have parts of our job that are, well—not ideal. But, we grow through the awkwardness,

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y’all. We may as well embrace it. Remember—your role is as strategic as you make it!