Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm so excited to be spending some time with Troy

Vincent today. It is an incredible story that he will

share with us. And yeah, we just had a chat the other day and I

felt the need to interview Troy because I know

his story will bring a lot of hope and light and Kurt to

people. And we just can't have enough of this right now,

especially before Christmas. Troy, thank you so much for

making the time to be here with us today.

Yeah, do you want to dive in and share with us what your last 10

days looked like a little bit to invite to your life?

Well, thanks for having me, Aurora. As you gave me the

introduction there. I'm like, Who's she going to talk to this

guy? Sounds interesting. That's not me.

Yeah, I guess the last few days, or the last week and a half was

kind of

a lot of things brewing up towards it, of course is that's

what happens with change.

A journey that began about three years ago and really ramped it

up into this year with just you know, a lot of self development

and self care, focus.

really studying

the psychology of, of happiness, and

she's a Madonna, blank now, mindset and grow meditation,

positive psychology, just a whole array of stuff that I dove

into just for my own self purposes.

And then, as my journey went along, I discovered something

called Life Coaching, which I'd never heard of, and it's been

around for forever.

I met up with a life coach who introduced me to neuro

linguistic programming, which is NLP. And some people might be

very familiar with that. Tony Robbins is one of the big names

behind NLP. He's, he's utilizes it. And so I actually went to

Arizona, week and a half ago to do some training for four days,

extensive intensive training

10 hours a day.

And just to learn a lot of different things about, you

know, the brain and, and our language that we use, that we

use and how powerful it is.

And, yeah, and within one of the techniques that I was learning,

I've been feeling a calling of becoming a life coach and

helping connect with people in such a deeper way than I have

via my soon to be old job, which is radio. And the aspect of

radio that I do love is a way to connect with people. But this is

far deeper. And so one of the techniques allowed me to kind of

ask the question, is it time to let go of radio and move on to

something else, like live coaching? And yeah, it just

really, really resonated, spoke to me, kind of midway through

the technique. It's like, I didn't have to finish it.

Aurora. So it's like, This is it? It's time. I gotta, I gotta

go dive into this. So oh, I don't have anything in front of

me planned whatsoever. Great. Yeah, but my salary, start from

zero and dive in. And so I came back from from that conference.

I handed in my resignation to my boss.

Wow. That is so I mean, there's lots of people who have done

that during the last two years here.

But you've been in your job for so many years. And I don't know

a voice a voice carries so far like you've been in people's

hearts and people's souls in people's minds, like through the

radio station.

And it must have been hard at the same time to resign and to

say, okay, like, this is it now.

But as you're very excited for this next journey,

it's not that painful, but it's still Yeah, it's a chapter that

needs closure. And how do you say that in English it

the time that you spent on the radio have really Yeah. formed

your character and helped you grow

as well.

Absolutely. Hi, I was, uh, I was always a shy kid growing up, you

know?

And a really great listener, if you were to ask my friends from

school,

if you were to tell them I got into radio, they'd be like,

What? No, he doesn't talk for he wouldn't talk for a living, he

would listen for a living. So yeah, it gave me a chance to

find my voice. And, and really craft that. And so I'm very

grateful for radio for that, because I was kind of born with

the listening skills. It's just a matter of finding my voice.

And now, I'm able to combine both into the next path that I

want to take. And so that's really, really great. And, you

know, 23 years later, I actually started off in radio, by

accident. I didn't go to school for it. I didn't even grow up

listening to radio.

I did it for the most noble of reasons. Aurora, in university

here in Lethbridge, there was a very pretty girl named Dana, who

asked me and my buddy if we wanted to do a radio show, and

we said, Yes. And then we met started making a pact with each

other. Because we decided she's going to, she's going to fall in

love with one of us, clearly. And so we made a pact that we

wouldn't get mad

if she chose the other person. And then we showed up the very

next day, to a meeting at the radio station. And she

introduced us to her very cool, very tall, very tough boyfriend.

And we were stuck with a radio show. And, but it was great. I

dove into that.

And yeah, it kind of just accidentally blossomed into a

career that I didn't

even want to jump into right away. I just thought I'll try

this until it stops being fun.

And now 23 years have gone by.

And I think it's finally time it's finally time so yeah,

caught me off guard caught me by surprise. And it's been

quite an interesting journey. They're starting off with

someone who really wasn't that good at talking at all. Yeah.

Oh, man. So that means your personality your soul loves

challenges. And now you're bestest equipped for for your

new job that you're gonna tackle, he assumed. Now let me

ask you, when it comes to coaching, especially life

coaching.

I feel we all have a story to share that we all have a story

of pain, sometimes even drama to share. We went through some

stuff, and learned how to help ourselves. My listeners know my

story a little bit and how I became a podcaster and a life

coach. But how is it for you like, was it always, you know,

this self awareness and, and understanding relationship

dynamics come easy to you? Or did you have to learn it the

hard way?

What was your journey that led to to wanting to become a life

coach? Yeah, you said you are.

You're passionate about what you're learning right now. But

on a on a soul level on an emotional level? What went on

there? Yeah. Yeah.

I remember from all the stuff that I've been kind of studying

over the last year, especially with the last two years, friends

started telling me Ah, become a therapist. And I was like, No, I

don't want to go back to school that long. But you know, cool,

cool idea.

I like helping people, you know, I've been in pain and you want

to help others

alleviated of it, and help elevate others. And then I

discovered life coaching. And

I discovered it through a friend who actually experienced

something called M E R. And that's

mental and emotional release. And it's a technique that's kind

of tethered into NLP.

And I saw such a huge change for someone who is battling so much

depression. And I kind of find out what this is. Because even

though all the work I was doing, to, you know,

deal with my baggage and try to read rediscover myself, after

being in a relationship where it was, I became too codependent.

Like we just by accident, we got along so well. We've just lost

ourselves. And so it was time for self discovery.

And so I went and visited this life coach, and I learned about

ner and I said, Yes, I want to do this. And it's an intensive

kind of two day process.

Nothing too invasive or anything like that. It's not like you got

to go to a therapist and you know, spill out your heart or

anything like that.

It's just a lot of language and visual techniques and connecting

with your unconscious mind. And it seems so simple and that it

shouldn't work, but it totally works. And when it did,

from that moment on, am I, this is a miracle. And this is what I

want to do. This is what I want to do right here, I want to help

people overcome all of their baggage stuff that they might

not even know about, that's just kind of sitting in your

unconscious mind. And really kind of holding us back in a lot

of ways creating limiting beliefs,

creating a lot of fear and doubt. And when I experienced

that it was is,

I guess the way to liken it to one thing is like, we all can

overreact at something. And when we do, it's because it's a tie,

it's it's attached to baggage. So if you get angry at

something, and you should be reacting, like a three out of 10

on a scale, but you react like six, you know, your your people

would be like, Well, jeez, you're really ticked off about

this, but it's not you're, you're actually bringing in old

baggage into this into that situation. But once you do this

process, it's done is gone. And so from that moment on, like,

you know, when you get mad at something, you're like, This is

authentic. Like this is authentic frustration in this

very moment you feel so present. And when we're present, we

were elevated, and we have a chance to

be more happy beer and being engaged in our world. And so

it's just a miracle thing. And so as soon as I did that, I said

I got to learn this. And so going to that NLP conference

where I did on Arizona, that was step one. And now step two will

be for me to go to one in the new year. And, and I want to be

able to kind of help alleviate this for other people. And the

things I've seen people overcome with it are just

really great.

They did a

they did

an experiment, I guess if that would be a test. Well, they had

like a depression clinic, right? I believe this was down in the

States. And they had X amount of people who were battling

depression. And they had a certain sort of treatment that

they had. And it was really good. They had like 70%

effective rate where they'd help people get over their

depression.

And I think it was only like 10, maybe 15% Relapse would occur.

So there's pretty good numbers, they're like they're helping

people. Well, then they brought an M er. And they had 100%.

effective rate 0% relapse.

Wow, that's so powerful. In a world where we are getting more

and more in touch with mental health. And the fact that so

many of us battle it, we all battle in some sort of way,

whether it's small increments, or low scale, human right up to

a high scale. And so

just to have that and be able to free people from from their

baggage and what holds them back and just elevate them and send

them on the way like, it's going to be so amazing. It's it's my

passion. And it's my purpose. And so I couldn't resist, you

know, following that dharma. I just had to sit down and go,

yeah, it's time to move on radio, even though it's been

really good for me and it's a great creative outlet.

People think I'm silly to give up a radio job. But

but this is it. You know, when when you find your next level

passion, you gotta go for it. Yeah, yeah. Ah, this is so

incredibly beautiful. And I'm sure the pharmaceutical

companies will not like to hear this.

Oh, no, you're right. Like, How is this not?

This should be a thing where this should spread like a virus,

right? Like, totally cover the world? Yeah, no, no, no, we have

to, we have to be on a quest. You know, I want to put it in

fairy tale language. It's not about the bad farmer. It's about

the universe wanting us to want to heal. And we have to be on a

quest. We have to find those tools that can heal us. And when

we are in alignment with that we're going to attract people

like you into our lives, and then we're going to heal. It's

not going to be in the news. It's not going to be over social

media. And, yeah, we have to make peace with that because

it's too magical. Just like you say, right? It's, there's no big

trick. There's no magic potion that you have to swallow down.

It's

just correct me if I'm wrong. It is learning about yourself,

making sense of it and then not being a victim of your past. And

your little monkey mind that sometimes does

So I had to run through with stuff.

And what's what's incredible is you don't have to like really

struggle to overcome anything. You don't have to be mindful to.

Like you're you're tapping into your unconscious mind, right.

And so even when the whole process is done, you're like,

that's it did it work. But it's only work. I saw a gal. In

Arizona, she was terrified of elevators. Since she was a

little kid, she got trapped in an elevator for like three hours

when she was a kid. And so she never went back into an elevator

ever again. And she lived in Paris, and she never went into

the elevator to go up to the Eiffel Tower.

She was another city that she lived in. She was in a high

rise, she lived like on the 22nd floor.

And she never took the elevator. She took the stairs all the

time. And so she was at this conference with me at this

training. And they did the M er on her. And again, it's not

like, it'd be like a 10 minute process. And it's just a

visualization thing. And sure enough, it's like, okay, how do

you feel about elevators? Like, I'm fine with it? Of course, you

know what the trainer is like, Well, should we go test this

out. And so a bunch of us, all of us got up and started walking

down the hall of the hotel and right to an elevator she got

inside, I made sure that I snuck my way inside too, because I

wanted to see her in action. See what the experience was like. I

was right beside her. And she, she had the expression on her

face. Like she had been in an elevator every day her entire

life. Like it was the most boring, mundane neutral thing.

It's just like, Yeah, I'm just in an elevator. I'm just going

up to the fourth floor. It's simple as that. And it's just

incredible, because the energy and the expression on her face

when she was sharing her story, like 15 minutes beforehand, you

can see the terror. You know, her body would just shake and

just ripple and give her shivers when she thought about getting

into an elevator. And then suddenly now it's like, yeah,

this is a thing. I can just do this now. And it's gone. And all

that phobia is gone. And

I just want to be able to do that for people just to help

alleviate.

Yeah, yeah, it is so crazy, because I feel most of the time,

like we are doing all right, you know, we're fine. We're not in

big pain. But life is not as awesome as it could be. But we

can't really put a finger on it, why? Why we're not more content

or happy. And then a coach like you comes into play. And points

out, Hey, you have limiting beliefs, you still think that

you're not deserving? And that you're not enough? Or you still

think that the traumatic experience from back then is

supposed to Yeah, limit your beliefs nowadays in order to

keep you safe?

And then all of a sudden, that person realizes, Oh, no, I can

actually let go of all this. And I mean, just for you to witness

that. But for the person now to know that they can actually tap

back into their potential and get closer to their purpose to

what they're meant to.

Yeah. To to what they were meant to accomplish here and do here

on planet Earth. And it's just so yeah, it's so amazing. And

I'm so glad that I met you because

I feel exactly the same about about this job. And a lot of

times, yeah, coaches feel like Oh, my God, this is gonna be

competition. And I don't want him to, you know, to look at my

book. No. And I want to

know, this is not how it goes. Because people react to energy.

They're drawn to your energy and then you go from there. Like,

it's

competition is the old way of looking at it and working

together and boosting each other I feel is the new world.

It's,

yeah,

a very, we all can.

We all need, you know, we can all benefit from coaching. I

liked how people will kind of actually had a friend asked me

if I was joining a cult, when I told him what I was going to do.

I was like, what do you what do you think like coaching is, that

was an interesting conversation.

And so people don't have an understanding. Go, it's weird.

They'll understand coaching, have a whole variety of other

things. But then you say life coaching and you're like, what?

Well, life coaching. What's that? Like kind of mind control

manipulation is is is like, No, we're all living. And so this is

like the most important coaching we get

You know, and, and it doesn't matter where you are in your

life, wherever you are on your happiness level, you can always

be a little bit happier. If you have confidence, you can boost

that whatever it might be, we all have areas that kind of can

sink and we can elevate them and improve upon them. And that's

what the life coaching is, and

and people don't quite understand exactly like, you can

have your life together in a lot of ways. It doesn't mean in

fact, the people, the successful people are the ones who get

coaches. Yes, they know. Yeah, they've got they know, mentors,

they get coaching. And so people who aren't successful, and

they're like, I don't know what this coaching is. And so you

will be successful if you get a coach. Yeah, I mean, the most

successful people have a coach, you know, when when people think

of even in sports terms, you could take the greatest player

in whatever sport like Tom Brady and football, he has a head

coach, he's got a offensive coordinator, coach, he's got a

quarterback coach, he's got his own personal trainer for his

body, he's got his coach for his food he's got, he just has so

many coaches in his life. And that's what these successful

people do. They surround themselves with people who can,

you know, see, because we can't see everything within ourselves

from the, because we're looking outward. And we can't always see

totally inward what other people can see, we don't hear our own

language sometimes. And so you can find really guidance, and

it's not being told what to do. You know, you're being guided,

all the answers are within us. And it's amazing. When you

unleash that and experience it, and that's why you know, me and

you, we're coaches, and yet we have coaches, because we know it

works, and how powerful it is, oh, yeah, I couldn't do.

There's no way. Like you say, first of all, we don't, we don't

have all the tools, we don't have all the skills. And second

of all, we are human beings who also go through depressive

phases who go through phases of self doubt. And

yeah, we have to pour our heart out to people that kind of have

a neutral position and and have interest in mind. And that's

okay, you, once you accept that, that you can't do it all. And

that's how it's supposed to be you have to do it as a team.

It's great. As long as you resist it, as long as you think

no, this is not for me, and I have to struggle, life has to be

hard.

It's, it's going to be tough. And I feel Yeah, there is people

that are naturally, like open up to you and learn from you. And

there's people who are going to be curious, but then they're

going to find out no, this is too challenging. I can deal with

uncertainty, I can deal with my own power. That's what I

discovered is that there's people, you will show them in

the mirror,

hey, this is what I see. And you and you claim that power and you

can achieve this and that and they will be like No, I don't

want to tap into my energy. I want to stay in victim mentality

and suffer and be in pain. And that, for me is the very hardest

part as a coach to see someone

choosing to stay in the in the pain zone.

But I had to learn that everybody heals at their own

speed. And if they're not ready, nobody, it's nobody's fault.

No, you're right. And it's really tough. Because yeah, we

do see their potential, we see the potential and everyone and

and you want to show it to the and if they're not ready to see

it, that's not going to help or if they're not ready, have you

experienced this was kind of based on my own observations

with myself. And then I noticed everyone else in the world kind

of doing it to like the two phases of change. were,

you know, that first phase is like, I want to change, I need

to change, you know. And so you see something in your life,

you're experiencing something, you're like, something's got to

change, I have to change. And then you don't.

It's not until you're ready to change that you actually do. And

that's phase two. And so you come across a lot of people in

our business who are in phase one, and they're like, Yeah, you

know, I'm, I'm just I'm coming near my wit's end and I just

things have to be different. And you know, they're sincere, that

they're very sincere. And so you know, your heart goes out to

them and you empathize with them.

But then there's that. There's that thing where it's like,

they're not ready. I remember a story that heard recently I was

talking to a guy and he's a motivational

Speaker, he was going through a rough patch in his life.

And his mom was on his on her deathbed. And he kind of felt

this guilt, like, oh my goodness, like this wonderful

woman, she adopted him into her, the family, you know, raised him

and took care of them protected him and

he went on to become like an NFL player. And then his career is

over. And his life was kind of, you know, kind of not good, it

was not good, it was kind of in shambles. And his relationships

are in shambles. And he was embarrassed. And so on her

deathbed, he's like, promise things like, Well, I'm gonna

make you proud. And I need to be a better son who's making a

promise with himself, right.

And then from that moment, right there, he proceeded to not do

anything

for a year and a half,

as a year and a half, that phase to finally kick in. So phase one

was right there on the deathbed of his mother, and she's

breathing her last breath, and he's like, I want change, I need

change, this has to happen. And then it took him a year and a

half, to finally go, Alright, ready for change. And so you

know, something powerful like that, you know, I just kind of

keep that in mind, when I just remember that people are in

different, those two different phases. And so yeah, there's a

lot of people who aren't ready for coaching, and I'll just flat

out, tell them that to me, like, you're not ready for me. And

there's no shame in that whatsoever, I've experienced

that many times where I've not been ready for change, you know,

sometimes that gap between phase one and two is like a day,

sometimes it's a year and a half. Yeah, and, and so I just

tell people, you're not ready, and that's okay. And you're

gonna get there, you know, and if you want to coach and come

find me otherwise, or get a coach, it doesn't have to be me,

if you want it, it's going to elevate your life, and it's

going to be amazing for you. So you have a beautiful vision of

what you want, you can get it, your success is inevitable. If

you do the inner work, and the outer work, all of us our

success is inevitable. And I guess that's why, you know, as I

come to this crossroads of we're on leaving radio, and I'm moving

on to coaching and a lot of people are going wow, you must

be terrified, you're giving up your salary. And it's like, I

got zero income plan for 2022. But I still got bills, and

people I see. And, and you know, you don't know if it's going to

work.

And I just I just say nine, like my success is inevitable.

And a big part of this, the M er, releasing that was limiting

beliefs, you know, one of them was was not good enough. And I

have achieved so many things in my life. And I never got to

fully really enjoy those achievements. Because I was just

kind of you have that impostor syndrome, like, you're worried

that, okay, I lucked out, and I got this, but I gotta keep

working really hard. So I became a workaholic. And always just

trying to, you know, I proved myself maybe that I was good

enough for the next level, the next level, the next level. So I

released all of that. And now I'm just like, I am good enough,

I can actually just say that and actually believe it. And so I

just know, I'm gonna be able to face any challenges by

confidence went from person who had very low self confidence to

someone who a lot of people might think I have too much now,

such a drastic change.

And it's just, it's just such an amazing place to be and when you

can let go of that and, and really get in tune with who you

are and what you're capable of. And I don't even know what I'm

fully capable of.

And is what like you said, we have self doubts even there

ourselves. And we see so much potential and everyone else,

sometimes we can't see in ourselves. And so you there's a

mystery, and I'm actually more curious and intrigued by the

mystery than scared of the mystery. And just know that

whatever challenges are going to want obstacles, because that

means you are making progress. You're getting closer, you're

you're growing. Yeah, I want fail, because that means you're

trying. Whereas a lot of the times you don't be afraid I was

a perfectionist. Once upon a time, like severe perfectionist,

I hated failing, I would let anyone else fell in front of me.

And I would nurture them and comfort them and go like, Hey,

don't be so hard on yourself. And then I would use every swear

word in the book, when I made a mistake, because I needed to be

perfect. And it was from something that was deep rooted

in my youth. And so I was able to let that go. And so because

of that I love making mistakes. Now I love learning from it. And

I know obstacles are just there. They're not a deterrent to tell

you to stop going down this path. They are something you go,

hey, it's time to grow. It's time to stretch. It's time to

learn new ways of doing things. Because what you know right now,

it's not going to work. That's so great. You're going to learn

something new and you're going to be better for it. And that's

just exciting. And so yeah, you know, when it comes to people to

say, well, it must be so scary and I'm like It's nuts.

Hearing at all, I have zero regrets about leaving behind my

23 year radio career. And I don't know, I've let go with the

results of what's going to be coming up next. But I am all in

on the journey. And, and because of that, I really don't have

any, any fear. And I know my success is inevitable because

I'm going to continue doing the inner work. And I'm going to put

in the, the effort for the outer work. And so it's just, it's

just a matter of when that's the mystery. When When am I going?

What will that success look like? When will it happen? And

that's what the equation is for all of us. Yeah. Yeah. And how

much we're open to it or not. And it's, it's incredible. When

you say, Yeah, you are on this new path now, and you're not

scared. Uncertainty is something that excites you instead of

ignites, like, crippling anxiety.

And there's, there's, you know, people where you can sense or

Yeah, they've learned to repeat affirmations that they've heard

on.

I don't know, a podcast, radio station or read in a book. And

then people where you can really feel that they are walking their

talk, right? Do you know what I mean? Like some people, like

talk in a lot of absolutely estimative ways, and you're

like, Okay, I get all this, but your vibe is not really, you're

trying to sell me something here, and I don't like it. And

the first time we talked, I could sense that you really

meant it. And

I mean, I'm probably not the first person you attract into

your life, who's, who's telling you, hey, if there's anything in

my power I can do to boost you, please let me know. And you're

going to meet more people who are gonna lift you up, because

they can feel your strong desire to be out there and to do this

work. And that is, so that is hard to put into words. Because

you will feel it and you will know what I mean, right now,

maybe you know, already.

But there will be. Yeah, no big fear, no big anxiety, no big Oh,

my God, where's my money gonna come from? Because people know

that you are a no bullshitter. And this is so incredibly

valuable in a world where, you know, there is a salesperson at

every corner for pretty much everything 24/7.

And if there's people like you, among them, who actually is very

calm and says, hey, I can just

share my tools with you, we can start talking and

we can be raw and honest here. And there's going to be Yeah, no

doubt that you're going to make it big times out there. So I'm

excited to follow you. I'm excited to hear about your

story. Come 2022

If there was one thing, or maybe let's say two things that you

would

say to a person who is in a situation right now that they

found out shit, like they have to pay their bills, they're

unhappy with their jobs now.

What are what can they do? If if they don't really know what

their purpose is? So what helped you like you were busy with your

radio station? And you said you got interested in coaching, but

what would you advise to a person who doesn't quite know

okay, what is my purpose here? How can I get closer to it?

Yeah, you know, small hinges swing big doors, right? And you

got to do small steps. And, like, first thing I would do is

pick up a book, pick up a book on self growth, and you start to

go inward, because that's where all the answers are. If you're

if you're looking for happiness, it's not outside. I've done a

lot of that. Because, you know, there's there's, there's joyous

experiences from externally. Absolutely. I love you know, new

external stimuli that reason, but you know, the true

contentment comes from within and it took me a long time to

really tap into that and I I battled anxiety, I've battled

panic attacks, and I've overcome that completely and did a one,

one ad on it. And it started with just kind of delving into

myself and you'll start

To

learn more about yourself, and when you do that, you'll see how

it aligns up with something. And then when you're ready, the

universe is gonna put something in your path. I had no idea life

coaching was a thing. And then everything I had just been

preparing for, on my own, I didn't even know his

preparation, I was just trying to be a better person just

trying to grow and you know, from within.

And that's where it begins, you do the inner work and it shines

outward, and you're going to find your passion, it's going to

reignite there with you. And then when you do,

don't ignore it,

you, you're going to have doubts, we have the two parts of

our brain. One is the primal brain, the monkey mind. And then

the other one is the evolved brain. And that old monkey mind,

it's very outdated software.

Where, you know, that's our fear, or, you know, fight or

flight mechanism. And so, there's so many times we think

we're, our brain asks us, put us to convince us, we're in danger.

And that means anytime we try to grow, it's like, don't, it's

gonna be uncomfortable.

And so it tries to keep you safe, and keep you stuck is in

the end is what it does is when you learn how to silence that,

once it pops up, just go, okay, that's just, that's just critter

brain in there, that's just that part of my mind.

And that's okay, you know, you don't chastise it or anything

like that, you just accept it for what it is. And if the

building's ever on fire, you're gonna love the fact that you

have that part of your brain still, but

But otherwise, you just really get in tune with, with your mind

with your unconscious, because even at a conscious level,

that's the conscious mind is such a small part of who we are.

So on the unconscious level that you got deep, dive deep into.

And when you do, that's where you're going to find everything

that you need.

And, and it's within you, you got it. And just keep taking

small steps forward, and it just turns into something much, much

bigger. And it's going to require uncomfortable action.

And you'll learn

if you can shift your mindset to learn that that's an exciting

thing. And you're welcome.

Yeah, we all have our potential, it's,

it's tough when you do you see people start to dream, they know

how it's going to change their life, and then they hold back

just because they're not willing to take that uncomfortable step.

willing to be uncomfortable.

getting exactly what they want. Yeah. So beautifully said and I,

I totally agree with everything you said there. And it's like

you say at the end, the big part is that you have to be willing

to,

to let go a little bit of the addiction to having to feel good

all the time. And to embrace life is really dark at times,

life is pretty dramatic at times. And it is scary at times.

And it is okay. You don't need to live in denial, or distract

yourself from it. It's it's part of it, and especially self

growth

is not like progress is not linear. There's lots of detours

and

being a little bit uncomfortable for the right reasons. is the

strongest lesson I've learned here in 2021. I think

I have one more question for you. I was going to wrap up now.

But I have one more question for you.

What is the biggest lesson you've learned about yourself in

recent years, that

that you would like to share with us?

The biggest lesson

from a mental standpoint, it was becoming aware of the two parts

of the brain that will no primal part that tries to tell you,

you're in danger all the time and just knowing how to

communicate with it and just saying no, I'm safe. I'm not in

danger. I'm actually very, very safe. And then you can proceed,

no problem.

But what really shifted for me.

What I'm really grateful for is

that I finally love myself.

And for the longest time

I would really like myself, and there's other times that I would

absolutely despise myself. Part of that was you know, the

demands that I put on

you know, the baggage that maybe I

I was carrying around was I was given up for adoption when I was

born and

stayed in an orphanage for a few months, I wouldn't have any

direct memories of it. But I've stayed in the orphanage and I

was adopted by a very great couple. And, you know, I've also

lost them in my life.

Over the years, and you know,

like, and it's my mom life, she passed away 2002 Now, so it's

almost 20 years. So you and a lot of ways you feel like

orphaned. And then

again, god damn pandemic didn't help when you live alone, and we

work alone. Everything's just alone, alone alone. But it gave

me a chance to really dive into myself and, and I became my best

friend.

And that's something I never was to myself, I was a best friend

for so many people. And it was never a best friend for myself.

And

so that's an incredible gift that has come out of all of this

for me. And if, if people can take that journey, there's part

of you that you don't like that it's holding you back from

really loving yourself. Really

raw Aurora, I would I accept that everyone's flaws except for

my own. You know, if people made mistakes, I would laugh along

with them and say, they're really goofy, you know?

flaws, right? So a lot of charm.

But when I when I would do it, then I would just, I'd be

embarrassed to want to crawl with inside of myself. And I've

just learned at some point to let that go. And just all of a

sudden, it just happened. And

and it's the most amazing gift. Because when you can do that,

then no matter where you are your best friend.

That brings tears to my eyes. That is so precious. So

beautiful. And Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that for being

here and being so yeah, vulnerable and transparent. And

at the same time, so courageous. It's been a great pleasure tried

to have you here. Thank you. So so it's weird being on this side

of it. I'm used to being the person who's hosting things

right on the radio. And so I'm usually asking the questions in

the Questions as a coach asking the questions at our host.

It's weird to be in the spotlight because I love shining

the spotlight on anybody and everybody else. Ah, well, I will

invite you back and then you'll be my host.

I would gladly answer some questions. Yes. Now it would be

so much fun. Yes, we should interview you. Yeah, no, I

really liked that idea.

All right. Well, thank you so much for being here. And yeah,

if you guys want to reach out to Troy, I will put his information

in the shownotes. Is there any other way people can contact you

for now? Is Facebook the best?

Facebook's a great way to do it. But yeah, I'll give you the

information and you can just share it as you see fit.

I'm not in hiding or anything like that so people can reach

out and thank you. Thank you for the conversation. I feel really

blessed to cross paths with you and we connected so fast and I

feel like I've just

made a friend really fast and it's really really neat. Yeah,

you are. You are a shining light. You love your sunny

disposition. You are magnetic. You are a gem.

Thank you so much Troy and you have a wonderful rest of your

day.

You bet