This is More Than Work, the podcast reminding you that your self worth

is made up of more than your job title.

Each week I'll talk to a guest about how they discovered that for themselves.

You'll hear about what they did, what they're doing, and who they are.

I'm your host, Rabiah.

I work in IT, perform standup comedy, write, volunteer, and of course, podcast.

Thank you for listening.

Here we go!

Hey everyone.

So this week I'm talking to Diana Indries.

She's the creator of Better Topics Card Games, so thanks for being a guest.

Thank you so much for having me on your show.

I'm super excited to be here.

same.

Same.

So, first of all, where am I talking to you from?

Well, right now I am in Romania, which is Eastern Europe.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, I have a good friend actually at work who's who's from Romania.

So she's going back quite often now that you can travel, so that's

yes, yes, we used to do that as well.

Because flights now are more and more, I mean, you can get

them in more cities than usual.

We used to live in Sheffield, which is like three hour north from London.

And we actually used to have a flight literally from.

Next door, basically from dunker.

But even that changed lately, apparently.

So I think it was good timing to move out

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

Cause it's like it gets inconvenient to travel even a short distance.

So, first of all, let's just talk about, get it right into what is

Better Topics Card (card) Games.

So, Better Topics in general is a concept of education through

play and specifically for relationships and anything that has to do with that.

Because unlike I dunno, math and science and all of those that we

actually learn in school, unfortunately, relationships, we do not learn in school.

And many times we learn how to communicate usually when it comes to work and

like very let's say official settings.

But we don't really learn how to communicate with each other personally

which really does have a, a negative impact on relationships especially.

So we have started the Better Topics let's say brand with the Better

Topics Card Game for Couples, which was launched just over two years ago.

And it is essentially a card game through which couples can have

those important discussions in a relationship that actually help the

relationship go forward and grow it.

And it helps the couple actually come together and understand each

other a lot better, but also have fun with each other becuase, why

not have fun with your partner.

If you're not gonna have fun with your partner then with who, you know?

So, we wanted to include both of these things because I feel that these two

elements are really, really important when it comes to having a great relationship.

And because I have this very strong belief that literally anyone can have

a great relationship if they want to.

Mm-hmm.

. Yeah.

And if they, I mean, communication's a big, big part of that.

Yes, Yes, it is.

It is.

And I mean we've been working for it on it actually on, on

the game for quite a while.

And then we all know what happened at the beginning of 2020 and we are like,

Okay, we are not a hundred percent ready with this, but we definitely need to

launch because we've seen so many, even of our friends that have been literally

locked in, like physically locked in and stuck with each other, and they didn't

even know where to start communicating, you know, like literally the world

stopped and so many people just had to stop everything they were doing.

They had to stop running around.

They had to stop their careers.

They had to stop, literally put everything their life on pause and

just sit next to their partner.

And I remember my brother at the time was saying like, now many

people will regret their decisions when it comes to partners And we

were like that is so true in a way.

But also they, many of them don't even know where to start communicating.

So, because even myself and my husband now, we consider ourselves really

good communicators, mainly because our previous work jobs, especially mine.

But still we recognize the need of having set time for it because having very

busy lifestyles and working literally every day, all day very quickly led us

to a point where we're like, Okay, I don't really like, like the direction

where this relationship is going towards, because we realized very early

on in our relationship that we need to focus on it if we want to grow it.

And because our mindset entering our relationship was that we

want to make this a great one.

You know, we said okay from literally even the dating phase

of our relationship, we're like, Okay, we need to set a date night.

And it actually was my husband who came up with us with this idea because

his schedule was a lot more hectic.

I mean I used to have like a nine to five job.

I used to work in in NHS actually as a manager and

hmm.

although it was quite stressful and intense I still had like

a nine to five type of job, you know, where I had my set hours and then my

afternoons were mine and that was it.

Whereas my husband, because he was still has a lot of clients

that were abroad and you on U.S.

time so he would work at very rare and random hours and he would

have calls like 4:00 AM in the morning and then at 12 at midnight.

And, it was crazy, especially for him.

But because we sat our date night and we also scheduled it in both our calendars

it made it a lot easier for both of us to actually have the space for it.

And, whilst we were doing that, we also love board games.

I mean, we have literally all the classics, you know, like Monopoly,

Scrabble, we have all of these.

We recently got Catan from some of our friends and, you know,

all, all of these fun games.

And we said, Why not just, because they are fun, but that's all

they are, Like, they're just fun.

And that's it.

It doesn't really help a relationship per se.

Or maybe it does help to certain extent, like it increases your patience

, especially if you play some of them.

But it doesn't really address the main issues and the most

common issues of relationships.

So we started getting a lot of card games, so called card game

for couples that were out there.

And we were super disappointed to find out that many of the questions

that were featured in other games were one off questions, first of all.

And second of all, there wasn't any game element to play with.

They were just like random.

One off questions printed on a piece of paper that once you ask them,

you can, like, after that, throw it away because what are you gonna do?

Ask the same question again, to get the same answer again.

It doesn't really make sense.

And the most frustrating thing for me was that the, it wasn't a game.

Like they called it a game, but it wasn't a game.

So that was when we actually thought about inventing our own and creating it.

And then we started like bounce, bouncing around ideas

and you know how it would look.

What questions would it have.

And we literally put in this game a lot of elements that we like from

different types of board games.

So we have, for example, the luck element, which is my specialty.

So anything to do with dice or random luck.

I win hands down against my husband every time.

I don't know how it's happening.

It's so weird sometimes, and so funny that he's about to win, but then,

I win, you know, at the end of it.

It's so funny.

So we have that because obviously it depends what type of card you are dealt.

And then we have the strategy element, which is my husband's favorite.

And that is where you can strategize how to use your cards because

you play it in a certain way.

And then we also have something that we haven't really found in

any other games, which is rewards.

I mean we have added a lot of elements into the game, but we also added

rewards where the winner of the game can choose their own reward, and then

the partner needs to fulfill that.

And most of these rewards are either to do something for each other or

together because alongside of encouraging couples to have those important

conversations that actually help a relationship grow, we're also encouraging

them to do fun things together.

I mean, why not?

I mean, again, if you're not gonna have fun with your partner then with who?

Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

No, that sounds really cool and just I like that the, the questions.

I agree, like if you ask someone.

Something that doesn't really matter necessarily to a relationship and

also that it's not gonna change over time, then what's the point?

Cuz you are, you're just playing the same

Exactly.

over and over and Yeah, you could, It's almost

like if they don't remember the answer, you could cause a fight.

Cuz you'd be like, Well, weren't you listening the first five times?

Yes, that, that might be it.

But many of those questions that we got in other card games were things

like, what's your favorite ice cream and what's your favorite color?

And I told my husband, I'm like, Listen, if by this point you

dunno how much I love chocolate.

We have such a serious issue that no cards can help us.

Like literally.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you're married and you don't know someone's favorite color, even that's

a bit weird cuz you know a lot of your friends' favorite colors at some point.

They wear them, you know?

And even assumingly, let's say that you don't, might not

know the answer to those questions.

It doesn't really help the relationships per se.

Like maybe if you want to get them a specific gift, it might impact

it to a certain extent, but a lot less than what you could actually

ask to improve the relationship or to discuss more important things.

Like for example, one of my favorite questions in Better Topics Card Game

for Couples is, "when did you need me most last week and I wasn't there?"

You know,

Hmm.

so one key element in our game is that all our questions

are repeatable, first of all.

So you can actually play this game regularly because although the questions

are the same, the answers will always change because what we go through

every week changes and every month.

And then you can always basically catch up with your partner like, "what were

the most impactful events lately?"

"How did they impact you?"

"How can we help each other?"

And, "what can we do for the future?"

So this is one of the, I think in my opinion, one of

the most important questions.

Also because it gives our partners an insight into

exactly how do things impact us.

whenat we actually expect them to be there and to support us through it?

And the more clues like these, we give them, they can understand exactly

what type of situations are when we actually need more support from them.

And once they discover that pattern, when another similar situation comes

up, they can already be there because they can recognize that this is the

type of situation where my partner needs me to be there for them so

they can be there for us basically.

So, and we have the sister of this question, for example,

which is, when did you need more?

When did you need me to give you more space last week?

And I wasn't, you know, so similar to the first question here as well.

We, our partners and, us as well for our partner, we can recognize exactly

when are those key moments, when our partner expects us to be there, when

they expect us to give them more space.

And, once we recognize those patterns, we can just do it without having to ask

again and again and again, and without our partner feeling frustrated that,

you know, I needed you, you weren't there, or you're too much in my face.

I need some space.

So, and obviously we have some lighter questions as well.

I don't want to freak out people that all of them are so deep.

Some of them do go deeper, some of them not really.

We have the main game, for example, the main card game, which has a bit of like

it has questions from various topics.

And then we also have five different extensions that are basically

questions on specific topics.

If someone wants to explore more questions about, I dunno,

parenting, they can do that.

About intimacy, they can do that as well.

About past stories, go ahead, we have an extension.

Also, we have an extension for new couples.

And the really fun one, " Which One?"

So, which one of us was more likely to do one thing or another

over the past week, or is likely to do something in the future.

Because these were questions that we felt are actually leading

to important conversations.

Now some might argue that arguments can rise from these questions.

And that is possible.

We don't encourage that obviously.

We encourage people to actually discuss things.

Now, if some people don't know how to discuss and they end up in

an argument, I dunno what to say.

Come to me and I'll teach you how to talk to your partner.

I dunno.

But another key element in, in the way we structured the questions is

that they are not blameful in any way.

We don't want to blame anyone.

We don't want to trigger anyone.

That is not our point here.

Our point is to lead to important things to be discussed because the more we

tend to sweep under the rug, you know, a lot of things that happened, or just

leave them to later and we'll deal with them at some point and we never do.

Those tend to pile up, and massive

arguments tend to happen from apparently the tiniest thing, but

actually there were a lot of things stored there that just blew up.

And then, you know, you have to kind, you have everything

basically in, in your face.

So that's why we encourage couples to play the game regularly.

So first of all, they don't let these things build up.

They can actually discuss it in time and actually make a plan

together I didn't appreciate it.

I don't know when you did that last week, for example.

And then you can discuss it, why you can explain to your partner why because many

times when we understand the reason that some people do something or say something,

we don't even get upset anymore.

For example, if my husband does something in the house or doesn't do, like throwing

the socks around or whatever if I explain to him why that actually annoys the

hell out of me, then he understands.

Or if I see him keep doing it, then we can come up with a plan, okay.

Instead of you just throwing it randomly, how can I help

you not to throw them randomly.

And I know for some it might seem like, I don't know, mother ing our partner,

but, at the end of the day, why are we willing to talk nicely and find

solutions in the work context, when we are paid to do it, but not at home

in our relationship which supposedly is more important than our work?

Just because at work we are paid and at home, not.

So many of these elements that I've actually learned through my management

training and my husband has learned as well in his leadership and his experience

as well with owning businesses was that most things actually need to be discussed.

And in a relationship I would maybe say literally everything because.

always better to have things discussed than not discussed if that makes sense.

And then,

you know where you stand, where your partner stands, how can you support

each other, what can you do to make each other's life better and easier.

Cause that's how a relationship actually grows, when you take care of your partner

and your partner takes care of you.

Yeah, and I think the game, what's cool is it's just introducing a

way to have those conversations cuz it might be easier to answer a question on

the card than to just raise the topic with someone kind of out of the blue.

And so I like that it's creating that opportunity.

So, So basically you guys loved games, you saw a, a place where

they weren't reflecting what you would wanna play as a couple.

Did you end up quitting a job that you were doing before to do this and kind

of what was your path that that made you say, This is what I wanna do now,

Yes.

this is just something on the side

Yes.

So, it was in June, 2020 that we actually launched the Better Topics

Card Game through a Kickstarter campaign, which is like a crowdfunding

type of campaign, really to prove it to ourselves that there is interest

in the market for a game like this.

I mean, obviously we loved it, but then we worked on it for almost a

year by this point, so we were sort of biased towards it, but we also

wanted to see if other people out there liked it and it was fully funded

which was amazing because apparently only like less than six or 7% of the

Kickstarter campaigns get fully funded.

So we were really, really happy with that, but also with it came so much work

that we needed a full time person on it.

So between my husband and I I wanted to do this more basically.

And because relationships is something that it's let's say a

passion of mine for many years now.

I read, oh God, dozens of books on relationships.

I've been to courses on relationships.

I've talked to therapists on relationships.

I literally follow most of them.

Don't have that much time lately, but I used to follow literally everyone in the

field because I always wanted to learn about relationships, what makes a good

partner, how to have a great relationship, and all of these, because you know, after

years and years, dating experiences and some good ones not to lie, but mostly bad.

And for, you know, after having few failed relationships, I realized

that I'm not even sure how to do it.

Because I was listening to advice from right, left and center, but

many of that advice didn't really make sense to me, or it was like

advice that I wasn't willing to.

Like some people told me, Oh no, you're too smart.

Men don't like smart women.

And I was like, listen, I've spent literally.

The best side of three thirds of my life, trying to be smart

and make something in my life.

I'm not gonna dumb down myself now just for a man.

Like, I, I don't agree with that advice.

I'm like, No, I'm not gonna do that.

And like other stupid advice, like, Oh no, you should be like this,

or you should be like that because men like this and men like that.

And I was like, Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do that.

So I was like, Okay, but then what should I do?

And I was like, I don't even know because unlike other things in life,

relationships is not taught anywhere.

I mean, it is now because there are courses online, but it's not like a

mandatory subject in school, although I think it should be because so many

people go through, literally everyone goes through it at some point or another.

And we tend to learn through trial and error.

But then, you know, if we study a about relationships and we are slightly

educated in it, we can bypass years of heartache and bad decisions.

So, um, that's why I've actually decided that I should be the one

quitting my job and then do this full time because this was my passion,

basically more than my husband's.

Cool.

And how do you feel like now doing this versus when you were working in the NHS

and just kind of doing the nine to five.

Has like your opinion of yourself or work changed now that

God.

So it's literally from one extreme to another in a way.

I mean, again, NHS was quite the demand as well and intense.

And I, I did love that job too because I was seeing the people that we helped every

time that they were coming to the hospital that we managed to put through all the

pathways and all of that was amazing.

And sometimes they would even call us to thank us and to let us know actually

how, how big of an impact our work had on their life and their health

and everything, which was amazing.

And I worked very closely with very important doctors and amazing people that

literally life changing research as well.

So I love that part of it.

But the nine to five and very strict hours led me to a point where I was

like, I want something else in my life.

Mm-hmm.

Also that I hit a sort of a roadblock where I realized that.

So I got to a point in management where I wanted to get the very first time

you know, when I got into NHS, I worked my way up literally from the first

band all the way to management level.

And when I got to management, I thought that, okay, now I'll be

able to change things the way I think they should be changed.

Especially because going through each step, I've seen so many things

along the way that could be improved.

But then I realized that I was very limited.

My creativity was super limited.

Like the only thing I had to do was take orders from above and pass them

on and make sure that people, people in my team were implementing them.

That was the only thing I had to do every time I was having creative ideas,

although many people were saying that they want to improve, they actually didn't.

At the end of the day, they didn't want more work on their plate.

They just want to get on with life.

So seeing that literally demoralized me a lot.

And then in the same time working on this creative thing, like Better

Topics, I was like I was starving in a way for creativity and I didn't

even realize how creative of of a person I am until I haven't started

working fully on Better Topics.

And it's so interesting to discover that you know when you're 30, because

most people know that, that they're creative when they're very young.

I kind of knew, but not really because every time I was so focused

on achieving my goals throughout my life and my career and everything,

and I, I never allowed myself enough time to just sit and create something.

So did like the NHS job that I had, but I do love Better Topics a lot more.

It's a lot more difficult than having a steady job, to be honest, because

mm-hmm.

especially if you work in NHS, it does give you a job security.

You still have that job.

Even if, I dunno, let's say you mess up something you

will still be there to fix it.

You will still have a job at the end of the month.

You will still be paid at the end of the month.

Whereas when you have your own business mistakes are a lot more expensive

because you pay them, you know, it's you who maybe is not making money,

maybe not reaching out to enough people.

And if you don't work hard enough or long enough things don't get done basically,

especially if you're the only one in the business as as I am right now.

So, I do love it more.

It is also more stressful at the same time.

I know it sounds crazy.

Why would you want to do something more stressful?

But it's a different type of stress, a more creative type of stress, and you

have a lot more freedom as well to do and take this whichever direction you want.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And a lot of people I've talked to who have pivoted to entrepreneurship in

different areas, I'm thinking of one in particular that was on the podcast before,

who founded a bicycle company, right?

And that's his passion.

But he said he is not working less.

But it's, it's different cuz he's working for something he really loves

and not that he didn't love the other projects, but yeah, so I get that.

Even with a podcast, like, it's work, it's not, I have my day job and I have

other things I do, but it's still work.

But it's, it's doing a different purpose.

So.

You have a something exciting coming up for Better Topics too, right?

You're gonna have another Kickstarter

Yes.

So, this time we have partnered up with a high school teacher from Denver, Colorado.

His name is Scott Allen.

And he reached out to us because he needed some help with a game

that he created for his students.

So as a high school teacher, he was sort of, as he call it, adopted

by his students as their adopted father figure, you know, in school.

So every time, They had like issues, especially in dating.

They would go to him for advice and everything.

And because he's the type of teacher that I wish everyone would have, the

one that he's really passionate about teaching, about students, about educating

them for life not just for school.

He quickly realized that they wouldn't really listen when he would suggest

like articles or books or even courses on relationships and dating.

So he created a game to help his students pay attention at more than one or two

characteristics that someone might have.

So, as teenagers, I know I used to do this, I just used to look at

someone and I used to like, agree to date them based on very let's

say unimportant characteristics.

Like, Oh, they look nice, they smile.

I don't know.

They made me laugh a couple of times.

Okay, I'll date this guy and then it had to, I had to go through a few dates until

I realized that were not good together.

Or maybe even months or maybe even years.

So, he basically wanted to help his students pay more

attention who they're dating.

Are they actually a good match?

So he created this amazing game with different characteristics

and he reached out to us.

Once he explained the game to us and we realized how when we've seen how

passionate he was about it because at the end of the day, this is

what sold it to us, his passion and his drive, and the fact that

he was trying to help his students with this that just sold it for me.

I was like, I wish I would have a teacher like this even now.

And we've decided to partner up so we can actually put this game out there

and make it playable by let's say more and more people than just select few.

So we have been working on this for the four, five months, I think right now.

And we've been polishing the game and restructuring it a

bit and we are basically done.

And We have just launched it with a Kickstarter campaign because again,

we want to test the market and see if people would actually like the game

as it is in this format, or whether we need to change it in any way.

So the way that game works is quite fun.

It can be played as a solitaire version, like by one person or as a group even

as a party game with a group of friends.

Basically you have all these characteristics of let's say, various

people that might be out there and you have in different domains as well.

You have like income, you have like height even, age groups, whatever,

different types of categories.

And you have from let's say worst, the best.

Like income, you have someone who's like homeless and with no money

to his name, and someone who is he super wealthy on the other side.

And then you have in between as well and basically the way how the game

works is that you put out two columns of characteristics and then those, each

column is a potential person that you could date and then you look at each,

and then you decide out of the two, which one would you actually choose.

And this is really great, especially for adults and young adults as well that

are dating because it make them more aware of multiple things that people

let's say have within them so, there are certain good things as well, and

there might be some that are considered red flags or even yellow flags, And

then this other person might have different type of good things about

them and different types of red flags.

But then it's up to you to decide which do you personally

think that you can work with?

Like let's say one of them is, I don't know, Not loyal, just saying.

Or the other one might be, I dunno, abusive in any way.

So which one would you choose?

Now, I'm not saying that in real life you definitely have

to choose one or the other.

You can obviously say no to both, but, it makes you more aware to look in more

depth when you look at a person instead of just looking at them, Oh, they smiled.

Or if it's a guy, you look at a girl and then, Oh, she's

pretty, she wears a short skirt.

That's it.

I'll date her.

Those are my criteria.

They're so that's why we, we want to help people.

And we realized working on the game more and more, that the game is actually very

suitable for anyone in the dating area.

Because, we've actually seen even people in their forties, fifties, sixties,

that are dating and they weren't even sure what they were looking for.

But by playing a game like this, it, it helps them realize exactly

what they could accept in a relationship and what they couldn't.

And it would also work very, very for parents want to teach their teenage

children how to date better because as a parent you want the best for

your kids and kids, although they're teenagers, they're still kids and they

still don't listen because I know I've been like this when I was like 15,

16, I thought we invented everything.

My generation disregarding the fact that my parents were at least 30 years on

the planet before me, and they obviously have 30 years of experience ahead.

Yeah.

Although different times, but still.

Cool.

That's great.

So as far as just work and having to work a bit harder in a different way now has

it changed like what you do outside of work to kind of relax since you, you're

working on something you love, but it can also probably be a bit like overwhelming

to even play your game at this point, cuz you're always thinking about it.

So have you found ways of coping that are different than you used?

The interesting thing is I didn't need to find things to cope with.

If before I had to find things to cope with the stress of it all

mechanisms of how to mentally leave work at the work and then go home.

Right now I have the freedom of handling any family emergency whenever it

rises, , unless I have certain meetings or like, you know, a podcast like this.

But at any point, if my phone rings with an emergency, I can be there

for our family, which is one of the criteria why we actually moved back

to Romania, to be closer to family.

And if I feel I just need a day off, which rarely

happens, I just take a day off.

And I don't feel bad about it because I know it is for me, it is.

And interestingly enough, when I do take a day off and I'm setting my mindset like,

Okay, today I'm not gonna do any work.

I don't have anything urgent.

Like I can just relax, that's when most ideas come to me.

And I always have a notebook with me or my phone and I can write down ideas

because when I'm more relaxed and I'm like, Oh my God, I could do this.

So I'm writing that down so I could do this.

Or I go and I ask my husband about certain things and then more ideas

come up and then I just at least I brainstorm some more new ideas.

Now, the thing that some people might see it as a downside is the fact that

you don't have a strict cutoff point or work unless you set it yourself.

So for example, this past weekend we were away with my husband for his work.

And

Hmm.

although I did have some time on my own as

well, and I relax as well.

I had the massage done, I had been to a spa and everything.

I've also worked because I was so relaxed and, you know, I was like, I don't really

feel like watching a movie, but I would just want to finish a few more tasks.

So again, some people might see it as a bad thing, and it might be if you're

doing a work that you don't like.

And I, I've realized that all those people who said that if you do something

you love is not even work anymore.

It is like that because right now, even if I read a book about relationships, to,

to document for, let's say an article or a video that I'm about to do, I read it

even for myself, because I enjoy it and I love it, and it doesn't seem like work.

And also I had to learn so, so many new things which I loved.

I mean, literally anything from video editing to article writing to what is SEO

and what a website should look like, and all of these technical things as well.

I loved each bit of it because it makes me appreciate other websites

and other businesses a lot more.

Yeah.

No, that's great.

That's awesome.

And it is, it is cool.

Like even, yeah, just with these pursuits, like everything we do that's creative

now has to somehow make it online.

You know, I do stand up comedy and I have to edit and I just had a big, I just took

a video down on YouTube cause I dunno how to deal with trolls yet very well.

But it's even like handling just everything like the social

media, the video editing.

Yeah.

So it's pretty, it's pretty cool.

So, one thing I like to ask every guest is, do you have any advice or mantra

that you'd like to share with people?

One of my biggest mantras are that everyone can have a

great relationship if they want to.

And the second biggest one, I mean they're both so important to me, is that is to

never settle for a mediocre relationship.

And this is one of the best things I did in my life to date.

Literally.

I mean, it's one of the best because not having settled in a mediocre

relationship led me eventually to meet my husband, who is an amazing person.

I mean, we've been married for over four years now, and our

relationship is still amazing.

Like he's still my favorite person.

I wake up every morning and I can't wait to see him.

You know, it's so strange is, I don't know how to explain this.

I mean, the intensity of the emotions are still the same

as they were in the beginning.

Yes.

When you have that dating phase in the very, very beginning

when you get to know the person, there is also a bit of mystery.

There is also a bit of that, and some emotions might be more intense

than they are, you know, a few years down the line because now

you know this person a lot better.

But still, I, I love him dearly and I'm so happy.

I've never listened to all of those people who urged me to settle down

in my, let's say mid twenties, like I was almost, I was, I think I was

like 28 or 29 when I met my husband.

And especially in my culture, if you are above 25 and you're

not married, usually they think there's something wrong with you.

And they're like asking me like, Why are you not married?

Like, why don't you just settle down?

Why don't you just have kids?

And I was like, Why would I settle down with someone who I barely like?

If I don't like a person on a first date, when they should have their best

foot forward, when will I like them?

Oh, no, you'll get used to them.

And this phrase, Oh no, you'll get used to them.

Used to piss me off so much.

I just ask them like, why do I have to get used to them?

Like, if I don't like them now, when they're on the best behavior, what, what

does that tell me about what's to come?

You know, like why, why would I put myself through that?

Because I told them like, I don't need to settle down, you know?

Like I had my job, I had my money, I even had my own house.

By that time, you know, I was like, why would I need to settle?

Why?

I don't need to depend on anyone.

Why not just choose someone that I actually love and you know, like, and

I'm excited to be with and all of this?

No, I agree.

Yeah, so, this, these I think are my two main mantras and

the house that we moved in is just new, but I am still planning to

make like a big painting of them, you know, like a big picture and

just put it everywhere in the house.

So every time people come to my house, they can see it everywhere

until they get sick of it.

Because I tell this to everyone, like, if you don't love them,

like just don't be with them.

It's crazy how many people just are entering relationships just because they

feel lonely or they're not good to be with themselves, or just because everyone

else around them has them, they should

Yeah, I agree.

I mean, I've been called, I had a friend who told me one day that I

was too picky and I thought, what a weird thing to say to someone, cuz

it's like, well, what does that mean?

Like, So I'm too picky, so what should I compromise on?

What

exactly.

Exactly, and why?

Why should you lower your standards if you can offer the same, You know?

Because there is the point of yes, maybe having too many expectations, but you are

not doing anything yourself, let's say.

Or there is the healthy way where you have so much to offer as well.

And then obviously you will expect someone to offer as much, maybe not the exact same

things, but the balance it out, you know.

Yeah.

This I used to tell my brother as well.

He actually will have his wedding quite soon, and he's, he's, he's 37 right

now, you know, and he saw me, you know, meeting my husband, getting married,

having this amazing relationship, and he obviously wanted that for himself too.

And still, although he's 37 right now till this point, he never settled down.

And I always encouraged him, encouraged him against what everyone else said

around us that, oh my god, you're like, all, you are getting older and

you should settle down and have children and this and that, and when you are

gonna do it because you're like your mid thirties now and this and that.

And I told my H brother, I'm like, Do not settle down.

No.

Do not settle down with someone you're not super convinced by that you like

them, you love them, and you can live your life with, I'm like, even

if you are getting married at 50.

At 50.

It doesn't matter.

It's still better than wasting 20, 30 years of your life with the wrong person

because you're not gonna be happy.

It's just something that you are gonna get.

Which again is not true happiness.

So I'm, I'm very happy he listened and he, he never settled down because at the

beginning of summer, he literally met this amazing woman and three months later he

proposed, and a month and a half later after that, they have their wedding.

So it was worth it because when you actually meet that right person for you,

everything else just falls into place.

Everything else is a lot easier.

And the whole relationship overall, it's a lot easier to work.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Cool.

So the last set of questions I have are the fun five.

So they're just a set of questions I ask everybody.

So the first one, what's the oldest T-shirt you have and still wear?

Its a white T-shirt with a, with the Pink Panther on

it, leaning against the Tower of Pisa, you know, from, from Italy.

And I still wear it.

It's all.

It has holes in it.

I still wear it sometimes.

But it, it was my dad's.

And when I went to the UK 11 years ago, I took that t-shirt with

me and I still kept it all these years and I brought it back with,

Nice.

That's awesome.

It sounds cool.

That sounds really cool actually.

So it seemed like it was Groundhog's Day for a while.

Like that movie with Bill Murray where he had the same morning every day and same

song playing every day on his alarm clock.

So if it was like that for you, what song would you have

your alarm clock play everyday.

I would say "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran.

I really love that song.

And it also was our first dance song when, when we got married with my husband.

So I still love that song.

And it was so funny because when we went on our honeymoon, we had our honeymoon

like three months after the wedding.

And when we went on our honeymoon, when we went on a plane to sit down,

that was the exact song playing, you know, whilst we were like sitting

down and it was just so funny.

So I think that that song I, I can never get tired of it.

Yeah, it's a beautiful song.

All right.

Coffee or tea or neither?

Sometimes tea just because I work at a desk and I don't

want to much on sweet, but I gave up coffee about five years ago.

Oh wow.

Okay, cool.

And can you think of a time that you like laugh so hard, you cried,

or something that just cracks you up and you think about it?

Oh my god, so many moments.

But one that my husband just reminded me of the other night was so funny.

I threw chocolate towards my brother.

I had this like small chocolate bar.

There are these individually wrapped ones.

And I was like on one side of the room and he was like, at the end of the sofa,

he was like three meters there and asked him like, Do you want some chocolate?

And he like, No, I don't.

And I was like, Well, you'll have it.

And I threw it at and it caught him like in his forehead and it actually

broke in two, and he was like, So stop.

What was that about?

And I just started laughing because if I would've wanted to hit him in his head,

literally, I'm sure I would've not, you know, directed so so precisely.

And my husband was like in the middle and he was like, What was that?

So the full scene was so, so funny.

And my husband actually just reminded me of it, like the other night when my

brother was here visiting and we're just laughing about it, like, it's still funny.

And it happened like two years ago, but it's still so funny.

Well, it's like so unintentioned and so perfect at

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Awesome.

All right, and the last one, who inspires you right now?

Right now, I think my husband, I would say.

I know it sounds corny, but he is because he's so hard working and he's,

he's doing so many things for so many people and he's working so hard for

our family, you know, and I really, really appreciate that about him.

Nice.

That's cool.

All right, so people wanna know about Better Topics and even about

the Kickstarter, I'll put the link for the Kickstarter up, but if

people wanna find you or follow you, where, where do you want them to go?

So, if they want to find out more either about the Kickstarter,

we have our website, which is better topics dot com (bettertopics.com).

And I am on all social medias at Better Topics (@bettertopics),

which is, you know, on Instagram, on Facebook, on TikTok, on, I don't

know, everywhere, Twitter, everywhere.

We are at Better Topics (@bettertopics).

Cool.

Well, it was really nice to talk to you today.

I really appreciate it Diana, so thanks for being on More Than Work.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thanks for listening.

You can learn more about the guest and what was talked about in the show notes.

Joe Maffia created the music you're listening to.

You can find him on Spotify at Joe M A F F I A.

Rob Metke does all the design for which I am so grateful.

You can find him online by searching Rob M E T K E.

Please leave a review if you like to show and get in touch

via feedback or guest ideas.

The pod is on all the social channels at At More Than Work Pod (@morethanworkpod)

or at Rabiah Comedy (@rabiahcomedy) on TikTok, and the website is more than

work pod dot com (morethanworkpod.com).

While being kind to others, don't forget to be kind to yourself.