Perry Maughmer [00:00:00]:

Welcome to the Relentless Few. I'm your host, Perry Maughmer. And today, we're we're actually gonna talk about quite a few things. But the first is, obviously, if you've listened before, you notice there's a title change. And that is because in the coming months, I'll say, probably not weeks, but in the coming months, you'll see some changes to the graphics for the podcast and and some of the things that I talk about because I am shifting this from potential leader lab to the relentless few. It's been a long time coming. This is not a, it it actually has been brewing for a while, so this isn't this isn't anything new in my head. It's new to everybody else because it's finally seeing the light of day.

Perry Maughmer [00:00:43]:

And and I'm gonna explain a little bit about that because I think what led up to this realization for me that it was time was actually a change in the e three and a lot of stuff about e three because it's no longer referred to as a framework. It's gonna be referred to as a rhythm. And it's because I'd I wanna move away from frameworks, processes, and tools because from a, from from a lived experience standpoint, and I'm gonna get into this a lot more, it's really I'm I'm offering you content. It's up to you to put the context to it. It's about your lived experience, not mine, and I don't want to frame these things as solutions because I don't think those exist for people. And I think that's and I'll talk about that a little bit more. So today, we're gonna talk about the path is the point, living the e three rhythm. And as I said, we're gonna kinda pull back the curtain on a shift that's been brewing for a little bit and and how that, something that kinda fundamentally changed how we think about growth and evolution.

Perry Maughmer [00:01:47]:

And that is that I'm taking my my e three what I used to call the e three framework of explore, experiment, evolve, and it's now going to be an e three rhythm. And it's actually the rhythm to an intentional intentional life, the rhythm to an intentional life. And that is explore, experiment, evaluate. And the reason that shift happened is because for some time, something hasn't been sitting right with me about explore, experiment, evolve. And it started about six months ago when I started, talking to people and using it because I I use it all the time and I would use it in in, conversations I would have with groups. And we got to the point where I would say that, you know, our evolution isn't up to us. It isn't really something we can actively do. It's actually the result of some things that it it's a it's an outcome of something we're doing.

Perry Maughmer [00:02:41]:

And it's largely up to others around us. Not that we wanna chase approval. That's not it. But I think it is inherent on us to understand that no matter what we might think, those people close to us that we care deeply about are gonna be the ones that give us the feedback to let us know if we're evolving in a way that's meaningful to them and therefore meaningful to us. And so when I stepped back away from that, I thought, okay. So what are what is the missing piece? And the missing piece was actually evaluate. Because after we explore and then we experiment, we need to evaluate. We need to evaluate how it's going.

Perry Maughmer [00:03:16]:

We need to evaluate if we're moving closer or further away from the thing that we originally said was most important to us. And so that those three things are things we can actively do. They're actions we can take. And I actually have a a necklace that I wear every day that's that says deeds, not words. And that's important because we need to be able to take action and we can everybody can explore, experiment, and evaluate. So those actions that we take then can the the outcome of those actions can be evolution if it's working in the right way. And this isn't just about the shift isn't just about changing a word, it's about reclaiming how we create our own stories. And we're moving away from the illusion that someone else's path will work for us and we're stepping into that reality that our own lived experiences are what shapes us.

Perry Maughmer [00:04:07]:

So it it really is gonna be more than a word. It's more than the shift of a word. It's it's a shift in thought. So here's here, we'll get into it a little bit. And I and I've actually created these kind of, my own definitions for these words, explore, experiment, and evaluate. And so explore for me is confronting everything I've ignored, overlooked, or assumed. That's what explore is for me. So it's it's confronting everything that I've ignored, overlooked, or assumed.

Perry Maughmer [00:04:40]:

An experiment is purposefully acting my way through the fog of uncertainty because there are no outcomes that I'm expecting. And then evaluate is unflinchingly embracing the reckoning my actions demand. And so that's how I define those three terms in my head as I'm moving forward. And I think that that that move from the the move to these things and these definitions will not allow us to get caught up in other people's stories. Thinking if we just do what they did, we'll get the same result, which has been that that has been really central to my thinking the last year or so. But because their story is rooted in their unique experience, their context, their challenges, and their journey, and yours will always be different. And so to adopt someone else's process, to adopt someone else's story is really substituting theirs for ours. We're not the same as an individual.

Perry Maughmer [00:05:40]:

We don't even we don't even know if we had the same goals, and it's definitely not gonna work for us like it worked for them. But all too often, that's what we do. We we literally outsource our progress to somebody else thinking that if I just replicate their steps one, two, three, or if I get up at 5AM and do these five things, or if I do this or if I do that, I'll get the same result they got. And I have to say, I think you would join me in saying we've all tried this in a number of times, and I just as much as everybody else in self help books and all those things. And did it ever work? And, I don't know. I mean, that's up to you to figure out for yourself if it did or not. It probably got something. And and I don't I don't think this I'm not saying we shouldn't learn from other people.

Perry Maughmer [00:06:29]:

By no means am I saying that. I just think the the mindset of adopting something to kind of overlay on on our experience and then expect to get a set the same result is, is a folly. Right? It's it's just something we shouldn't do because chasing someone else's evolution is like trying it's like trying to wear clothes tailored for somebody else. You know? The theoretically, they might look great, but they don't fit. Right? They have to be tailored to you. And I think that's we outsource things because well, hell, I I think it's because it's easier. I I really do. I think it's we don't we don't wanna do the the heavy lifting, as I like to refer to it, of of figuring it out.

Perry Maughmer [00:07:14]:

I think we do need to do that exploration. The and and what's gonna happen is I'm gonna do a three part series after this one where I kinda wanted to talk through and introduce to everybody. I'm gonna do one on explore, one on experiment, one on evolve or, see, I can't even I lapsed into it. Explore, experiment, and evaluate. Do one episode on each one to get deep into those things. But I think that those are actions we can take, and I think part of our exploration is looking around us and finding what are what are some things that are out there. But mostly, it's confronting all of our own assumptions about what we do and why we do it and what will work for us and what what won't. And until we're willing to do that, until we're willing to both put forth the energy and live with the result, and the my hope is is that people find peace in this rhythm.

Perry Maughmer [00:08:09]:

And, again, it's a rhythm. It's not a framework. It's not a process. It's a rhythm. And that's because these actions can happen. They're not linear in fashion. There's a bunch of different things we're going through in our life at any given time, and we can be in one, two, or three of these actions. We can be solely exploring.

Perry Maughmer [00:08:27]:

We can be exploring one thing and experimenting with something else, and we can be evaluating something else. So these are not linear in any way, shape, or form. And they're also not they're not discrete things we can't do at the same time. And so this is a rhythm that we fall into just knowing that if I do that first part of it, that the other ones will come up and and understanding that the the the it's kinda like a mindset or a worldview of how I'm gonna approach thing because there largely is no answer. Right? There's no we're not striving to get somewhere. It's why I named the episode, the path is the point. Right? That's that's the thing. I mean, doing it is the point.

Perry Maughmer [00:09:10]:

The outcome is is not the point, and that's what we have to that's that's the first thing we have to embrace is the outcome isn't the point. And so here, I'm gonna dig in a little bit on the difference between evolve and evaluate so you kinda know where that came from, because I think it's important. It's it was important for me, and I think it's and and, again, all the stuff I'm sharing is really designed to try to help people find peace and freedom in their life. Because I think we put a a tremendous amount of stress on ourselves to achieve and arrive somewhere that may or may not be what we in what we actually want. And my hope is that when people understand that there's a rhythm that you can adopt for an intentional life is that it frees it it gives you that freedom and peace because you're not pressed to arrive somewhere. You're not pressed for an outcome. You're pressed to be in the present because the present is the only point of power. Right? It gives us that opportunity to just take a breath and understand ourselves a little bit better and then give ourselves some grace as we move forward.

Perry Maughmer [00:10:27]:

So the here's the difference between evaluate and evolve for me. So, first of all, evaluate really is about owning your own story. It means it means stepping back and asking, what did I actually experience here? What did I learn and how has it shaped me? It's not about measuring yourself against someone else's progress. And, see, I think that's what we do. We we always evaluate ourselves against other people without even thinking about it. I mean, we do it subconsciously. And that really is about the difference between being better and being best. And I've talked about this before, but I don't I don't think any of us should strive to be the best either individually or collectively because the best is a terminal state.

Perry Maughmer [00:11:09]:

It's also requires that we compare ourselves to others outside of ourselves. Whereas if I wanna be better and if I if I wanna be better, I just have to be better than myself. I have to just be better than yesterday. And I think that we're I think it's important because we don't wanna measure ourselves against someone else's progress because we are not them. Their lived experience is different than ours, and we have to acknowledge that. And so that's the first piece that kinda can give your soul the ability to take a deep breath and go, oh, I'm not in this I'm the only one in this race. Like, you're the only one on your path. I want you to think about that.

Perry Maughmer [00:11:45]:

You are the only one on your path. There's nobody else on your path. There's nobody else can be on your path. That's why it's called your path. And so you don't want to get on someone else's path and start chasing them down a path that you didn't design for yourself. Because by the way, you don't even know where that's going. It might end up somewhere you don't wanna be. So it's really important that you understand that you're on your path and it's only it's the path that only you can walk.

Perry Maughmer [00:12:18]:

And if if we don't evaluate our journey, we we do we do risk adopting someone else's narrative, and that's damaging to us. You know, you start to believe that somebody else's version of success should be yours without ever questioning if it actually fits who you are. Like, we just we just kind of we just kind of fall into it. We don't think about it. And I think all of us at some point have done this. We've all looked at somebody else or we've we've read somebody's story or whatever that might be. We've watched TV. We've been on social media.

Perry Maughmer [00:12:52]:

I don't care. Whatever avenue, whatever medium you're looking at, and we look at something and go, oh, that's that's it. Like, I wanna how'd they do that? And then we start evaluating how they did it, and then we start mirroring their behaviors. Knowing full well, deep down inside that worked for them, which is awesome by the way. It's amazing, but it doesn't work for everybody. It doesn't we can't replicate that. And then so evaluation helps us see helps us see where our story diverges from somebody else's. And that's not failure.

Perry Maughmer [00:13:27]:

It's the reality of being human. Your evolution is unique because your life is unique. So you need to constantly be figuring, you know, that, that evaluation process, because it helps you see where those things diverge. Because when, when you are doing this, the your brain will automatically wanna figure out will tell you what's similar because it's trying to find a shortcut. You know, we have, I think, at last count, a 60 cognitive biases they've identified. Those are all they're all important, and they're all good for us at some point unless we just start relying on them and not questioning them. Because one of the things that our brain will wanna do is get us to get us to the answer quicker. So when we go into a situation, we start pushing together the things that are similar.

Perry Maughmer [00:14:14]:

When we read somebody else's story, we see ourself in that story, and our brain makes all those connections for us so that we can see what's the same and why their solution will work for us. When in fact, what we should do is stop and ask ourselves what's different. Not what's the same. What's different? And that that's where the divergent the diverging happens. And that's why you can learn from somebody else's experience, but you have to make it yours. You you have to reclaim the authorship of your life. And so when we also, when we're evaluating, we're engaging with our own lived experience. Ex explore what calls to you.

Perry Maughmer [00:14:56]:

Experiment with your own way of doing it and then evaluate what it meant, not based on someone else's metrics, but based on your reality. That's why evaluation is so critical because you have to evaluate what happened, the results based on your reality. You reclaim the authorship and the narrative of your life. You can't outsource it. So here's what we here's what we're gonna look at next. We're gonna just kinda look at the framework overall. So here here's some things to think about. So for the explore.

Perry Maughmer [00:15:26]:

Right? Stay curious about your world. Don't just look for answers that work for other people. Seek out your own questions and resist the urge to copy somebody else's journey. It will not work. Like, you can still learn from it, but just don't try to be a copy. You know, you're born an original, don't die a copy. And that's hard work. And I I think deep down inside, that's why so many of us want that.

Perry Maughmer [00:15:51]:

We we want a shortcut. We want a hack. We we don't we don't wanna think too much. We just want the result. And that's the the thing is the result, by and large, doesn't matter. The, you know, the arrival fallacy is a big thing. No matter where we quote, unquote get to, we're never gonna be happier. The only joy you bring to the top of the mountain is the joy you took with you.

Perry Maughmer [00:16:14]:

So when you experiment, try things that resonate with you. Even if they don't match somebody else's formula, allow yourself to fail your way forward because the failure is yours and that's valuable. Your failures are your data points, and those are extremely valuable, and they won't mean anything to anybody else. Because the only reason we truly fail in the literal sense is if we don't learn. But your failures are are dramatically important to you. That no one else can replicate that. No. They won't mean anything to anybody else but you.

Perry Maughmer [00:16:46]:

And then when we get to evaluate, we don't just measure success. We measure alignment. We measure progress. Are we becoming more of who we wanna be? Are we having the impact we wanna have on those that mean the most to us? And we have to acknowledge that influence we have on people around us because our stories intersect with theirs, and those intersections matter a lot. That's what our life is. Our life is made up of those intersections. So we have to when we think about other people and and we we we reach out to successful people, and we constantly seek advice from them and then realize the problem wasn't the advice. It was the fact that we we never paused to ask ourselves what truly mattered to us.

Perry Maughmer [00:17:40]:

We don't you know, what do they have? It why do they have it? Why do they want it? Because if we do that, the advice assumes alignment with outcome and intention. Like, we never we never talk about that. When we ask somebody for advice, we ask them how they got something that they that they have, right, that they have. Not what we have, what they have, because that's what we know. They they were able to achieve something and they got something we want. Now we don't stop to ask ourselves why we want it. We don't stop to ask ourselves if we really want that thing that they want in the context of what we want, but then we start getting advice. Well, for them to give us advice, all they can speak to is their lived experience.

Perry Maughmer [00:18:19]:

So they're telling you what worked for them. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not you you can't just replicate that with another human. Because again, your path, only you are on your path. They're telling you how they blaze their path. By the way, their path might be in an entirely different mountain than yours, an entirely different forest, an entirely different hike than you're gonna go on. So they're telling you how to hike their path, and you might be on a completely different path. And you most definitely are in a different path. So their milestones, their advice, the, the, you know, the trail markers they saw won't appear on your path.

Perry Maughmer [00:19:00]:

So here's what I would ask you to do. I I would ask you this week, just try to resist the urge to follow a blueprint. Instead, just take one action that's yours. Something that feels true to your experience even if it's uncertain, and it most likely will be. Then evaluate it, not based on how it worked for somebody else, but how it shaped you. What it what how are you now? And, again, we're not looking for outcomes. We're looking for alignment. We're not looking for success.

Perry Maughmer [00:19:30]:

We're looking for alignment. How did how did your action how did your experiment shape you? That's what you're evaluating. And so, as I said, it what I'd like you to do is try that. And then the the next several episodes, I'm gonna dig into explore and experiment and evaluate. And I think I'll I'll leave you with this thought. We're all tempted to find someone else's path and just follow it, but that's not how any meaningful evolution happens. You cannot live someone else's story. You have to explore and experiment with your own choices and then evaluate what you learn.

Perry Maughmer [00:20:13]:

That's how you evolve, not by default, but by intention. Because that e three rhythm is living an intentional life. That's how we do that. We live an intentional life, and an intentional life gives us peace and freedom. So until next time, stay relentless, stay intentional, create your own story. I'll talk to you soon.