1 00:00:00,366 --> 00:00:01,326 Hello ladies. 2 00:00:01,326 --> 00:00:02,646 Welcome to the Hourly to 3 00:00:02,646 --> 00:00:03,936 Exit podcast. 4 00:00:04,186 --> 00:00:04,896 I'm very 5 00:00:04,896 --> 00:00:07,536 excited for our episode today. 6 00:00:07,939 --> 00:00:09,816 I have Kathy Sikorski, 7 00:00:10,036 --> 00:00:12,714 with us to talk about some thing 8 00:00:12,714 --> 00:00:13,854 that will be of interest to. 9 00:00:14,024 --> 00:00:17,844 All of us, which is, very directly 10 00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:19,914 related to the key value here at 11 00:00:20,304 --> 00:00:23,154 a exit, which is getting more wealth 12 00:00:23,154 --> 00:00:24,954 in the hands of women because we 13 00:00:24,954 --> 00:00:27,744 think that will change the world. 14 00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:29,594 And so before I introduce 15 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,364 Kathy, I'm gonna rattle off a few 16 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,204 statistics about. 17 00:00:32,504 --> 00:00:35,174 Why it's so important to get 18 00:00:35,174 --> 00:00:36,584 more wealth in the hands of women. 19 00:00:36,944 --> 00:00:38,984 So I was reading a recent Forbes 20 00:00:38,984 --> 00:00:41,894 article that said that women tend to 21 00:00:41,899 --> 00:00:44,414 invest more than 90% of their assets 22 00:00:44,414 --> 00:00:46,784 in earnings back into their families 23 00:00:46,784 --> 00:00:48,524 for nutrition, education, 24 00:00:48,807 --> 00:00:49,904 healthcare, and more. 25 00:00:50,197 --> 00:00:52,911 In contrast, men only invest about 26 00:00:52,911 --> 00:00:55,011 44% of their incomes back into 27 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:55,761 their families. 28 00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:59,244 Women build wealth to support a broader 29 00:00:59,244 --> 00:01:01,224 set of goals for their family, for 30 00:01:01,224 --> 00:01:03,114 philanthropy, and for the world. 31 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,334 the stats I have on my website, 32 00:01:05,334 --> 00:01:07,104 women give twice as much of their 33 00:01:07,104 --> 00:01:09,324 wealth to charitable causes than men. 34 00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:10,914 They're almost twice as likely to 35 00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:12,864 say that the act of donating is the 36 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,754 most satisfying part of having wealth. 37 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,599 their financial wellbeing is 38 00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:17,949 influenced by their sense of 39 00:01:17,949 --> 00:01:20,199 responsibility for others, for 40 00:01:20,199 --> 00:01:21,609 their families, for the community, 41 00:01:21,609 --> 00:01:22,809 and for society. 42 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,838 and that women are nearly twice 43 00:01:24,838 --> 00:01:26,068 as likely as men to say that 44 00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:27,448 they've discussed philanthropy with 45 00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,068 their children, which I think is 46 00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:30,568 a great stat so that we're raising 47 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:33,685 a generation of charitable givers. 48 00:01:34,089 --> 00:01:35,395 And so of course women aren't 49 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,345 just generous with their money. 50 00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:39,055 They're also generous with 51 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:39,925 their time. 52 00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:43,035 And so we are gonna talk about 53 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,395 that, our role as caregivers and 54 00:01:46,395 --> 00:01:49,125 sometimes, perhaps at our own expense. 55 00:01:49,556 --> 00:01:52,065 So with that, Kathy, please introduce 56 00:01:52,065 --> 00:01:52,665 yourself to the 57 00:01:53,095 --> 00:01:53,215 audience. 58 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:54,488 Hi everyone. 59 00:01:54,488 --> 00:01:56,678 I'm so happy to be here, for so 60 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,654 many reasons. 61 00:01:57,827 --> 00:01:59,357 To be invited into this room to 62 00:01:59,362 --> 00:02:00,797 talk about what I talk about. 63 00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:03,327 And what I do is very expanding 64 00:02:03,327 --> 00:02:04,167 for all of us. 65 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,627 And so I'm thrilled to be here to talk 66 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,667 about my topic, which is I am 67 00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,869 an elder lawyer, which means I deal 68 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,074 with elder law issues, Medicaid, 69 00:02:13,143 --> 00:02:15,168 Medicare, people in nursing homes, 70 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,668 social security, et cetera, et cetera. 71 00:02:17,278 --> 00:02:19,548 But I have done that for well over 72 00:02:19,548 --> 00:02:22,428 30 years, and I have found that. 73 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:24,293 Actually, elder law isn't even, I was 74 00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:25,933 a regular lawyer for one of a better 75 00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,823 word, elder law is kind of new, and 76 00:02:27,823 --> 00:02:30,103 it's grown with these issues of 77 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,023 nursing homes and Medicaid and the 78 00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:33,673 cost of care because we're getting older. 79 00:02:33,673 --> 00:02:35,353 We're, baby boomers, there's more of us. 80 00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:36,668 And so it's, really kind of 81 00:02:36,668 --> 00:02:37,478 a newer field. 82 00:02:37,478 --> 00:02:39,098 So maybe 20 years I've been doing it. 83 00:02:39,353 --> 00:02:41,123 but what I found being a caregiver 84 00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:42,833 for eight different family members and 85 00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,963 friends during this period of time, not 86 00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:47,423 as my job, but as a person with a big 87 00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:50,333 family who needs help and is a the 88 00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:53,450 punitive expert in the family, is that, 89 00:02:53,553 --> 00:02:57,867 women especially tend to put aside 90 00:02:58,197 --> 00:03:00,977 their financial wellbeing in order 91 00:03:00,977 --> 00:03:04,153 to what they think is to create, Other 92 00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:06,400 wellbeing within the family, and 93 00:03:06,647 --> 00:03:09,420 that isn't always the wisest choice, 94 00:03:09,758 --> 00:03:11,010 and that isn't always even the 95 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:12,780 necessary choice. 96 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,910 They don't even know that there's options 97 00:03:14,910 --> 00:03:15,660 out there for them. 98 00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:18,690 So I feel like I often have this 99 00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:20,760 twofold conversation like number one. 100 00:03:21,328 --> 00:03:22,791 is it gonna cost you money to 101 00:03:22,791 --> 00:03:23,781 be a caregiver? 102 00:03:24,091 --> 00:03:26,631 and number two is there a way to 103 00:03:26,636 --> 00:03:29,684 get paid for doing what you are doing 104 00:03:29,684 --> 00:03:31,574 as a caregiver without putting 105 00:03:31,574 --> 00:03:34,394 your financial future and wellbeing 106 00:03:34,424 --> 00:03:35,174 into jeopardy? 107 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,884 Because it's very likely that the 108 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,994 person that you are taking care 109 00:03:37,994 --> 00:03:40,304 of, which might be a woman, your mom, 110 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,954 your mother-in-law, et cetera, has 111 00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:43,754 put herself in financial jeopardy. 112 00:03:44,134 --> 00:03:46,384 That's why your caregiving for her. 113 00:03:46,864 --> 00:03:47,044 Mm-hmm. 114 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,241 So there's a lot of, layers to 115 00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:52,975 this onion that we could, unpeel that 116 00:03:52,975 --> 00:03:55,135 could go on for, as you can imagine, 117 00:03:55,765 --> 00:03:56,755 days, hours, weeks. 118 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,770 but the money part is really important, 119 00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:02,270 and that's what I actually love about 120 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:03,950 your work, Erin, is quite frankly, 121 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:04,970 it's the money part. 122 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:05,605 Right. 123 00:04:05,872 --> 00:04:07,358 We women have lots of value. 124 00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:08,588 We have lots of expertise. 125 00:04:08,588 --> 00:04:10,368 We have lots of things that we bring 126 00:04:10,368 --> 00:04:12,108 to the table, but for some reason 127 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:14,298 we forget about the money piece. 128 00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:14,735 Mm-hmm. 129 00:04:14,735 --> 00:04:16,725 we do, we value our ourselves 130 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:17,585 in so many ways. 131 00:04:17,585 --> 00:04:17,795 Yeah. 132 00:04:18,248 --> 00:04:19,999 So my, experience, my expertise is 133 00:04:19,999 --> 00:04:21,589 in the legal part of this and the 134 00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:23,339 financial part of it because there's a 135 00:04:23,339 --> 00:04:25,556 huge piece to issues in caregiving, 136 00:04:25,888 --> 00:04:27,116 and so I educate. 137 00:04:27,504 --> 00:04:29,260 People and now I'm moving into 138 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:31,090 corporations and work and, financial 139 00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:33,460 advisors, et cetera, about the legal 140 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,290 and financial need for preparation for 141 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,224 everyone properly so that no one 142 00:04:38,224 --> 00:04:39,004 gets left behind. 143 00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:40,804 Yeah, that's great. 144 00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:44,348 So, usually we were talking before we 145 00:04:44,353 --> 00:04:46,482 started recording about the, diversity 146 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,788 of guests that I've had on the podcast. 147 00:04:49,028 --> 00:04:50,678 And I will say that typically 148 00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:52,148 I usually know just enough to be 149 00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:54,248 dangerous about the topics that they're 150 00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:55,208 going to cover. 151 00:04:55,593 --> 00:04:59,337 And on this one, I feel fairly out 152 00:04:59,337 --> 00:05:00,927 of my death even though it is, 153 00:05:00,977 --> 00:05:01,991 some legal issues. 154 00:05:02,331 --> 00:05:04,041 not because I'm unfamiliar with 155 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:05,841 it, but because I've failed so 156 00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:08,301 spectacularly in being, a 157 00:05:08,301 --> 00:05:10,101 caregiver myself. 158 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,541 until very recently I was, one of 159 00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:14,851 the sandwich generation with a. 160 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,726 Mother in her late eighties and I 161 00:05:16,726 --> 00:05:19,606 have a teenager and running a business 162 00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:22,006 and running a home as a single woman. 163 00:05:22,297 --> 00:05:23,956 And so there are all the things 164 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:24,646 happening. 165 00:05:24,878 --> 00:05:28,466 And so, you talk about, work life 166 00:05:28,526 --> 00:05:31,535 balance and which I've found to be, 167 00:05:31,746 --> 00:05:32,856 maybe I don't know what it means. 168 00:05:32,856 --> 00:05:33,966 So maybe we'll talk there. 169 00:05:34,138 --> 00:05:34,716 Cause I feel like 170 00:05:34,716 --> 00:05:35,481 I just haven't 171 00:05:35,481 --> 00:05:36,651 quite cracked that nut. 172 00:05:36,651 --> 00:05:38,353 So, tell me how that, how 173 00:05:38,353 --> 00:05:38,803 you look at 174 00:05:38,803 --> 00:05:39,043 that. 175 00:05:39,593 --> 00:05:40,478 It's impossible. 176 00:05:41,768 --> 00:05:41,858 Good. 177 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:45,998 It's not just me, that's how 178 00:05:45,998 --> 00:05:46,598 I look at it. 179 00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:51,151 however, we can get better at it. 180 00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:51,481 Mm-hmm. 181 00:05:51,901 --> 00:05:54,871 If we pay attention to, resources that 182 00:05:55,151 --> 00:05:57,471 are available to us to help us do 183 00:05:57,471 --> 00:05:59,751 better for ourselves and our loved ones. 184 00:05:59,781 --> 00:06:00,201 Okay. 185 00:06:00,201 --> 00:06:01,491 So, there's lots of. 186 00:06:01,642 --> 00:06:02,876 People doing this caregiving thing, 187 00:06:02,876 --> 00:06:04,106 there's people like us who work for 188 00:06:04,111 --> 00:06:05,216 ourselves, right? 189 00:06:05,216 --> 00:06:06,986 And so when we step out of the 190 00:06:06,986 --> 00:06:08,246 workforce, we're stepping out 191 00:06:08,306 --> 00:06:09,986 of our own work and our own, 192 00:06:10,757 --> 00:06:12,207 responsibilities and maybe not 193 00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:13,767 taking on as many clients and et 194 00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:14,367 cetera, et cetera. 195 00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:16,377 But there is the whole, this 196 00:06:16,382 --> 00:06:18,627 53 million of unpaid family 197 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:21,087 caregivers are not unpaid people. 198 00:06:21,475 --> 00:06:22,895 They're workers. 199 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:23,335 Mm-hmm. 200 00:06:23,415 --> 00:06:25,445 They're working at jobs where they 201 00:06:26,055 --> 00:06:27,125 actually go to work. 202 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,655 And when I say go to work, I just 203 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,025 mean, maybe they're working from home, 204 00:06:30,025 --> 00:06:31,285 but they have time where they're 205 00:06:31,285 --> 00:06:32,485 putting in at work. 206 00:06:32,775 --> 00:06:33,045 Mm-hmm. 207 00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:33,145 And. 208 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:37,683 so to educate our audience about very 209 00:06:37,683 --> 00:06:39,003 simplistically, let's start 210 00:06:39,003 --> 00:06:40,053 with the basics. 211 00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:41,567 You need to be a caregiver. 212 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,977 You need legal things in place. 213 00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:44,777 You need to have powers of attorney. 214 00:06:44,777 --> 00:06:46,277 You need to have financial powers 215 00:06:46,277 --> 00:06:47,807 of attorney and healthcare powers 216 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:48,347 of attorney. 217 00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:50,807 These are the 32nd definition. 218 00:06:50,837 --> 00:06:53,267 It is a document that you sign 219 00:06:53,461 --> 00:06:55,037 that gives the authority to someone 220 00:06:55,037 --> 00:06:56,957 else to act as if they are you in. 221 00:06:57,507 --> 00:06:59,462 Every possible capacity, either 222 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,538 with their finances or their healthcare 223 00:07:01,782 --> 00:07:04,152 super powerful document, you are 224 00:07:04,152 --> 00:07:06,162 giving someone a great amount 225 00:07:06,162 --> 00:07:06,882 of authority. 226 00:07:07,155 --> 00:07:09,012 But if they are incapacitated, 227 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,482 whether it be temporarily or 228 00:07:10,482 --> 00:07:12,492 permanently, they need someone to 229 00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:14,172 take care of their affairs for them. 230 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,032 And that's what everybody needs. 231 00:07:16,092 --> 00:07:17,915 And everyone 18 years of age or 232 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:18,965 older in this country should 233 00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:21,137 have one because anybody can get hit 234 00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,037 by a bus tomorrow. 235 00:07:22,037 --> 00:07:22,487 Mm-hmm. 236 00:07:23,052 --> 00:07:25,427 And you may not be able to handle your 237 00:07:25,427 --> 00:07:27,617 affairs, whatever that means, right? 238 00:07:28,055 --> 00:07:29,340 They get more complex as a 239 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,170 document, as you get more assets, 240 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:32,720 as you get more responsibilities 241 00:07:32,725 --> 00:07:33,210 or whatever. 242 00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,790 And so I'm just saying that. 243 00:07:36,099 --> 00:07:37,629 The concept of a power of attorney 244 00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:39,339 is very, very often missed 245 00:07:39,339 --> 00:07:41,049 until it's very late in the game. 246 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:41,799 Oh my god. 247 00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:42,789 Mom is really sick. 248 00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:43,942 she's in the nursing home. 249 00:07:43,942 --> 00:07:44,722 She's in the hospital. 250 00:07:44,727 --> 00:07:46,252 I need, nobody will let me do anything. 251 00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:47,542 I can't move her money around. 252 00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,282 I can't pay her bills cuz I 253 00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:50,452 don't have power of attorney. 254 00:07:50,452 --> 00:07:51,322 Mm-hmm. 255 00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:51,719 Right. 256 00:07:51,719 --> 00:07:53,249 So if you know that somebody you love, 257 00:07:53,249 --> 00:07:54,209 you're gonna have to care for, or 258 00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:55,769 you're helping them, make sure you have 259 00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:57,509 those documents, you gotta have 'em. 260 00:07:57,902 --> 00:07:59,482 and everybody talks about a will. 261 00:07:59,572 --> 00:08:00,082 They're great. 262 00:08:00,142 --> 00:08:00,922 I love wills. 263 00:08:00,922 --> 00:08:01,642 Yeah, they're great. 264 00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:03,502 But actually in my world, wills 265 00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:05,032 are like the least important thing. 266 00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:05,422 Mm-hmm. 267 00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:07,304 Because, Powers of attorney are for 268 00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:08,924 live people who are sick, and wills are 269 00:08:08,924 --> 00:08:09,704 for dead people. 270 00:08:09,764 --> 00:08:11,144 It's that simple, right? 271 00:08:11,144 --> 00:08:11,234 Mm-hmm. 272 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,334 And then in between, that little niche 273 00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:15,104 is something that we talk about living 274 00:08:15,104 --> 00:08:17,234 will and advanced directives, which is 275 00:08:17,478 --> 00:08:19,604 if someone is in a permanent vegetative 276 00:08:19,604 --> 00:08:21,644 state, what do they want me to do? 277 00:08:22,454 --> 00:08:23,894 And in the vernacular it's, 278 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:24,944 do you want me to pull the plug or 279 00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:25,664 not pull the plug? 280 00:08:25,694 --> 00:08:26,024 Really? 281 00:08:26,024 --> 00:08:26,834 That's what it is. 282 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:27,354 Mm-hmm. 283 00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:29,474 So you gotta have this conversation 284 00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:31,514 with your loved one and you gotta have 285 00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:33,194 a piece of paper that says so and 286 00:08:33,194 --> 00:08:34,634 not honestly not. 287 00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:36,314 Cause that piece of paper is so great in 288 00:08:36,314 --> 00:08:37,334 a hospital setting. 289 00:08:37,702 --> 00:08:39,387 It's because I am one of 290 00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:40,857 seven children. 291 00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:43,032 If my mom, 90 year old mom, who is 292 00:08:43,032 --> 00:08:44,832 a hoot and a half right now, and go 293 00:08:44,832 --> 00:08:46,482 on TikTok and look me up, you'll see 294 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:47,172 the two of us. 295 00:08:47,172 --> 00:08:49,302 We have a lot of fun together, but 296 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,492 if she goes to the hospital, all these 297 00:08:51,492 --> 00:08:52,812 kids are coming in with all their 298 00:08:52,812 --> 00:08:54,612 spouses and all their grandchildren, 299 00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:55,782 and some of their great-grandchildren 300 00:08:55,787 --> 00:08:57,612 will have 56 people in a room trying 301 00:08:57,612 --> 00:08:58,962 to decide what do we do with mom? 302 00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:00,252 She's in a permanent vegetative 303 00:09:00,252 --> 00:09:01,212 state, right? 304 00:09:01,212 --> 00:09:01,722 Mm-hmm. 305 00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:02,630 I don't want that. 306 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,220 I got a piece of paper that mom 307 00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:05,420 signed that says, this is what 308 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,220 we're gonna do. 309 00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:06,516 Mm-hmm. 310 00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,570 And I say, I might not even do this, 311 00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,820 but this is what mom said and so this is 312 00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:11,570 what we're gonna do. 313 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,880 It takes the decider off the hook. 314 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,810 So that's your basic stuff, right? 315 00:09:17,134 --> 00:09:18,960 That does not address at all 316 00:09:19,257 --> 00:09:22,104 the work-life balance issue and 317 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:25,974 the difficulty of the cost of care. 318 00:09:26,282 --> 00:09:27,327 Obviously not just financially, 319 00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:28,677 but physically, emotionally. 320 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:29,215 whatever. 321 00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:29,637 Mm-hmm. 322 00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:30,977 for people like you and I who have their 323 00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:32,867 own business, we don't have someone 324 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:34,577 that's gonna give us paid time off 325 00:09:34,925 --> 00:09:36,737 or family and medical leave or, 326 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:37,440 stuff like that. 327 00:09:37,637 --> 00:09:37,723 Right. 328 00:09:37,723 --> 00:09:38,413 It doesn't mean there's not 329 00:09:38,763 --> 00:09:40,200 resources out there for us, but 330 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,610 it does mean that it's a little bit 331 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:42,720 harder for us. 332 00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,760 but here's two things right off 333 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,690 the top of my head. 334 00:09:46,036 --> 00:09:47,262 Get paid. 335 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:50,552 If your mom has assets and she 336 00:09:50,552 --> 00:09:52,682 would pay a complete stranger to come 337 00:09:52,682 --> 00:09:55,045 in and take care of her, she can 338 00:09:55,045 --> 00:09:58,562 pay you the same $25 an hour to pay. 339 00:09:58,562 --> 00:10:01,168 You get a contract signed, preferably 340 00:10:01,173 --> 00:10:02,471 with a lawyer's, approval. 341 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:03,592 So it looks like you're not 342 00:10:03,821 --> 00:10:05,975 self-dealing and get paid. 343 00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:07,158 It might not be. 344 00:10:07,285 --> 00:10:09,618 You might earn $250 an hour, so it's 345 00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:11,628 not gonna make up for that, but it 346 00:10:11,808 --> 00:10:13,518 keeps you in the Social Security 347 00:10:13,523 --> 00:10:15,108 and 10 99 yourself, by the way. 348 00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:16,282 It keeps you in the Social 349 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,272 Security loop. 350 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,230 It keeps you in the Social Security 351 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:20,280 disability loop. 352 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,700 You are still getting paid right? 353 00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:24,850 Wow. 354 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,370 Okay. 355 00:10:34,825 --> 00:10:36,085 So would you have put this in 356 00:10:36,085 --> 00:10:37,945 place the same time that you're putting 357 00:10:37,945 --> 00:10:38,905 together the other, 358 00:10:39,226 --> 00:10:40,066 because otherwise, like, let's 359 00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:40,426 say they're 360 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:41,296 already in capacity. 361 00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:41,446 Sure. 362 00:10:41,446 --> 00:10:43,066 They can't enter this agreement. 363 00:10:43,246 --> 00:10:44,056 Why not? 364 00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:44,926 Of course. 365 00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:45,556 Why not? 366 00:10:45,706 --> 00:10:46,576 you don't have to take the 367 00:10:46,581 --> 00:10:47,206 money right away. 368 00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:47,296 Mm-hmm. 369 00:10:47,536 --> 00:10:48,856 But honestly, the other thing I say is 370 00:10:48,861 --> 00:10:49,936 if you really don't need the money, 371 00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:50,686 take it anyway. 372 00:10:50,686 --> 00:10:51,676 Because two things. 373 00:10:51,676 --> 00:10:53,416 Number one, put it in your ira. 374 00:10:53,806 --> 00:10:53,926 Mm-hmm. 375 00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,776 You're losing time to create wealth for 376 00:10:56,776 --> 00:10:57,946 you in your future. 377 00:10:58,380 --> 00:10:59,721 In case this happens to you. 378 00:10:59,721 --> 00:10:59,811 Right? 379 00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:01,533 So if you really don't need 20, put 380 00:11:01,533 --> 00:11:02,223 it in your ira. 381 00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:02,613 Mm-hmm. 382 00:11:02,853 --> 00:11:03,003 Right? 383 00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:07,146 And secondly, it is a way for you to put 384 00:11:07,516 --> 00:11:08,526 everyone on notice. 385 00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,713 And I am working here. 386 00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:11,259 Mm-hmm. 387 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:12,261 somebody said something to me 388 00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:13,311 very interesting yesterday. 389 00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:14,551 She said, me and my sister, my 390 00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,291 mom got very sick very quickly. 391 00:11:16,691 --> 00:11:17,581 They were in their thirties. 392 00:11:17,921 --> 00:11:18,881 they weren't prepared. 393 00:11:18,881 --> 00:11:20,201 Their dad was living, but they 394 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,031 came in to do the hands-on, and she 395 00:11:22,031 --> 00:11:23,981 said the saddest part for me was we 396 00:11:23,981 --> 00:11:25,901 spent so much time being caregivers, 397 00:11:25,901 --> 00:11:27,581 we didn't spend time with my mom 398 00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:29,641 as daughters while she was dying. 399 00:11:29,681 --> 00:11:30,031 Mm. 400 00:11:30,271 --> 00:11:30,361 Mm-hmm. 401 00:11:30,631 --> 00:11:31,861 Oh God, this is really, it 402 00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:33,271 hurt, it breaks my heart, right? 403 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,319 That they couldn't be. 404 00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,647 In the relationship of mom and daughter, 405 00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:39,327 because they had to call the 406 00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:41,277 doctor, they had to make sure the 407 00:11:41,337 --> 00:11:42,537 hospice was coming. 408 00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:44,878 They had to, give her a sponge 409 00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:47,685 bath if somebody had put other 410 00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:48,885 money in place. 411 00:11:49,515 --> 00:11:50,415 That's the second thing. 412 00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:51,765 Long-term care insurance. 413 00:11:51,805 --> 00:11:52,415 Mm-hmm. 414 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,935 If you can afford that. 415 00:11:53,935 --> 00:11:54,455 Mm-hmm. 416 00:11:54,535 --> 00:11:55,245 And if you're young, you can 417 00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:56,115 really afford it. 418 00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:58,068 If you put that in place, it 419 00:11:58,068 --> 00:12:00,678 lets your family be your family. 420 00:12:00,768 --> 00:12:01,378 Mm-hmm. 421 00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:01,938 Right. 422 00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:03,338 Yes, I agree. 423 00:12:03,343 --> 00:12:04,428 And honestly, if they have to work 424 00:12:04,428 --> 00:12:05,688 for you, they can get paid out 425 00:12:05,688 --> 00:12:07,428 of that kind of a product too. 426 00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:07,818 Right. 427 00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:10,218 And then there's a whole raft of 428 00:12:10,218 --> 00:12:12,218 organizations that have come about in 429 00:12:12,218 --> 00:12:14,098 the last few years because Medicaid 430 00:12:14,508 --> 00:12:16,608 has allowed them to pay family members. 431 00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:17,720 Okay. 432 00:12:17,725 --> 00:12:18,800 Never spouses. 433 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:19,240 Mm-hmm. 434 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,280 But other family members. 435 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:20,560 Mm-hmm. 436 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,820 And you may very well, if your person 437 00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:25,100 is not a person of assets or means they 438 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,840 may qualify for a Medicaid benefit and 439 00:12:26,845 --> 00:12:28,853 you can literally work for them, 440 00:12:29,143 --> 00:12:29,876 and you get paid. 441 00:12:30,263 --> 00:12:30,473 Wow. 442 00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:32,843 So what if you have a niece who is in 443 00:12:32,843 --> 00:12:33,953 college mm-hmm. 444 00:12:34,163 --> 00:12:36,520 And can do this part-time paid. 445 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,800 We have to get ourselves out 446 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,150 of the mindset that this is. 447 00:12:40,815 --> 00:12:42,415 A gift that we give to our loved 448 00:12:42,415 --> 00:12:44,185 ones, that we make the supreme 449 00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:46,015 sacrifice of giving up every other 450 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,165 asset or financial, thing that we 451 00:12:48,165 --> 00:12:50,055 have in order to take care of mom. 452 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:50,415 Mm-hmm. 453 00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:51,712 Because I'm not saying you don't 454 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:52,972 need to take care of mom. 455 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,828 That's wonderful if you can, but 456 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,658 money isn't the problem here, isn't 457 00:12:56,658 --> 00:12:57,648 the evil one here? 458 00:12:57,653 --> 00:12:58,008 Mm-hmm. 459 00:12:58,518 --> 00:13:00,732 There's lots of ways to transfer 460 00:13:00,732 --> 00:13:02,862 the money so that, as I've said 461 00:13:02,862 --> 00:13:05,022 three times now, you aren't mom 462 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,822 30 years from now with no money. 463 00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:07,383 Right. 464 00:13:07,383 --> 00:13:08,283 Especially if there's no one to 465 00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:09,003 take care of you. 466 00:13:09,303 --> 00:13:09,573 Right. 467 00:13:09,770 --> 00:13:10,700 That is scary. 468 00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:12,443 Do you say a couple things that I 469 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,703 wanna just back up. 470 00:13:14,063 --> 00:13:14,093 Okay. 471 00:13:14,263 --> 00:13:16,183 And kinda just relate my personal 472 00:13:16,188 --> 00:13:17,003 experience, frankly. 473 00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:19,138 one was about the advanced 474 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,928 directors of medical directives and if 475 00:13:21,978 --> 00:13:24,018 you're loved, one is, in a vegetative 476 00:13:24,018 --> 00:13:24,798 state or something. 477 00:13:25,151 --> 00:13:26,531 One of the things that's happened with 478 00:13:26,531 --> 00:13:28,981 Covid and that I have with my mother 479 00:13:29,164 --> 00:13:32,108 is that, They are in the hospital 480 00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:35,943 and, and they are awake, aware you 481 00:13:35,943 --> 00:13:38,435 can talk to them, but you're can't 482 00:13:38,435 --> 00:13:38,975 be alone with them. 483 00:13:38,975 --> 00:13:39,605 At least they couldn't at 484 00:13:39,605 --> 00:13:39,995 the time. 485 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,805 I know things have changed, and you're 486 00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:44,265 not allowed to discuss their care. 487 00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:46,219 Like her doctors would not allow me 488 00:13:46,219 --> 00:13:48,589 to ask her, what do you want me to do? 489 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,690 And so there can be circumstances 490 00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:55,490 where you have someone who. 491 00:13:56,215 --> 00:13:57,858 where there's, for me there was 492 00:13:57,858 --> 00:14:00,965 a circumstance of what do I do while 493 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,722 she's deteriorating, but still here? 494 00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:05,872 So, and yeah. 495 00:14:05,902 --> 00:14:06,232 Yeah. 496 00:14:06,232 --> 00:14:06,484 And, 497 00:14:06,484 --> 00:14:09,858 not wanting to miss that window of being 498 00:14:09,863 --> 00:14:10,458 able to be with her. 499 00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:12,455 Well, of course the first side is, it'd 500 00:14:12,455 --> 00:14:13,805 be great if we have these conversations 501 00:14:13,805 --> 00:14:14,495 beforehand. 502 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:14,855 Mm-hmm. 503 00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:15,055 Right? 504 00:14:15,365 --> 00:14:15,575 Yeah. 505 00:14:15,725 --> 00:14:16,655 So if you can, if you're 506 00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:17,435 hearing this Mm. 507 00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:18,335 And you can. 508 00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:20,291 It's hard, but you gotta go sit down. 509 00:14:20,791 --> 00:14:21,971 Honestly, 12 conversations, my 510 00:14:21,971 --> 00:14:23,931 book, that tells you how to have some of 511 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:24,951 these conversations. 512 00:14:24,981 --> 00:14:25,401 Right. 513 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,030 you gotta have the conversations. 514 00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:28,660 And if you can, and you're fortunate 515 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,530 enough to be able to do that 516 00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:30,160 now, do that. 517 00:14:30,256 --> 00:14:31,266 but you're, telling us a 518 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:31,926 different story. 519 00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:32,736 You're saying here we are 520 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:33,576 in the crisis. 521 00:14:34,055 --> 00:14:36,125 I can't talk to her about this. 522 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,415 The doctors won't let me, which is 523 00:14:37,415 --> 00:14:38,855 the craziest thing I've ever heard. 524 00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:39,755 I don't even understand what 525 00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:40,385 that means. 526 00:14:40,385 --> 00:14:40,685 But they 527 00:14:40,685 --> 00:14:42,815 said, well, but I could not ask her 528 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:43,535 for her opinion. 529 00:14:43,595 --> 00:14:44,705 like you have to make the decision. 530 00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:45,335 You can't do that. 531 00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:46,998 It wouldn't, they didn't consider 532 00:14:47,003 --> 00:14:49,588 her to be, able to, contribute 533 00:14:49,918 --> 00:14:51,358 even though you could talk to her 534 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,408 and ask her how she, you know. 535 00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:52,678 Yeah. 536 00:14:53,008 --> 00:14:53,668 okay. 537 00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:54,358 Well, 538 00:14:57,468 --> 00:14:58,698 Wait till they leave the room. 539 00:14:59,748 --> 00:15:00,888 Well, they wouldn't let me in the room. 540 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,358 practical solutions are sometimes better 541 00:15:03,358 --> 00:15:04,888 than any anyone's. 542 00:15:05,401 --> 00:15:07,741 but I guess that's where family 543 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,301 history comes into play, right? 544 00:15:09,306 --> 00:15:11,161 I mean, it's your mom and I hope that 545 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,321 you know your mom well enough to know 546 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,097 you're gonna have to make a decision. 547 00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:16,797 Mm-hmm. 548 00:15:16,951 --> 00:15:18,797 Based on what you know about her in 549 00:15:18,797 --> 00:15:19,367 terms of history. 550 00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:19,457 Mm-hmm. 551 00:15:19,697 --> 00:15:21,970 I will tell you that being this caregiver 552 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:23,260 for eight different family members and 553 00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,727 friends, yes, I've had to make some 554 00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:28,177 tough decisions and yes, I still live 555 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,017 with some regrets. 556 00:15:29,547 --> 00:15:31,197 Not even to tell you, oh, I made 557 00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,237 the wrong decision, but did I make the 558 00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:34,077 right decision? 559 00:15:34,297 --> 00:15:36,007 it's more of a question about 560 00:15:36,024 --> 00:15:37,040 that, right? 561 00:15:37,045 --> 00:15:37,260 Mm-hmm. 562 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:37,660 Right. 563 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:38,140 Mm-hmm. 564 00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,130 I honestly think that's a case 565 00:15:40,135 --> 00:15:40,970 for therapy. 566 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,320 It was, right? 567 00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:48,078 I mean, to be honest with you, that's 568 00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:50,985 where I would have to resolve that. 569 00:15:51,005 --> 00:15:51,325 Mm-hmm. 570 00:15:51,405 --> 00:15:53,592 Because, Even if you've had all 571 00:15:53,592 --> 00:15:54,972 the conversations, you've got all 572 00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:56,472 the paperwork, you did all the 573 00:15:56,472 --> 00:15:59,285 right things, crisis is crisis. 574 00:15:59,345 --> 00:15:59,435 Mm-hmm. 575 00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:01,235 And you're gonna have to make 576 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,305 decisions and you're going 577 00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:05,889 to second guess yourself later, if 578 00:16:05,894 --> 00:16:07,089 not in the moment. 579 00:16:07,739 --> 00:16:07,864 Right. 580 00:16:07,864 --> 00:16:08,304 Mm-hmm. 581 00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:09,464 and that's part of it. 582 00:16:09,464 --> 00:16:13,017 and I will tell you the beauty of so 583 00:16:13,022 --> 00:16:14,557 much attention being given to caregiving 584 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,177 now, and it's taken a long time. 585 00:16:16,177 --> 00:16:16,957 Do you know Erin? 586 00:16:16,957 --> 00:16:18,277 I looked up yesterday cuz I 587 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,057 was quoting her. 588 00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:20,257 Rosalyn Carter started the 589 00:16:20,257 --> 00:16:24,817 Institute for Caregivers in 1987. 590 00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:25,507 Wow. 591 00:16:25,832 --> 00:16:29,792 35 years, this woman, and she's 592 00:16:29,792 --> 00:16:30,782 still alive, as you may know. 593 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:30,842 Yeah. 594 00:16:30,872 --> 00:16:33,722 Almost hundred years is still fighting 595 00:16:34,037 --> 00:16:36,392 for the rights of caregivers and 596 00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:37,682 caregiving families. 597 00:16:37,802 --> 00:16:39,469 but the, thing, because there's so 598 00:16:39,469 --> 00:16:41,089 much now, so many organizations, so 599 00:16:41,089 --> 00:16:42,557 much, one of the things that there's 600 00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:44,237 so much support about, okay, you're 601 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,557 gonna feel bad, you're gonna have 602 00:16:45,557 --> 00:16:46,907 regrets, you're gonna have guilt, 603 00:16:46,907 --> 00:16:48,687 you're gonna have, all of those things. 604 00:16:49,237 --> 00:16:51,902 I would say, so the answer is, since 605 00:16:51,902 --> 00:16:53,192 we're talking about it, prepare as 606 00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:55,592 much as you can, do the best you can. 607 00:16:55,802 --> 00:16:56,322 Mm-hmm. 608 00:16:56,402 --> 00:16:57,002 It's kind of like raising 609 00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:57,782 children, isn't it? 610 00:16:58,082 --> 00:16:58,532 And. 611 00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:00,884 Talk to a therapist, it's over. 612 00:17:03,644 --> 00:17:04,724 That is fair. 613 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:05,834 That is fair. 614 00:17:06,644 --> 00:17:09,214 Now the other piece of that was after my 615 00:17:09,214 --> 00:17:11,434 mother passed, and I am the executor 616 00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,624 of her will and. 617 00:17:13,644 --> 00:17:15,441 I felt, and I kind of feel this 618 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:16,521 way, I'm thinking about that this 619 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,651 with my kid, is that, being the 620 00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:21,081 executor kind of has interfered with my 621 00:17:21,086 --> 00:17:22,161 grief process and, 622 00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,231 which is exactly what these daughters 623 00:17:24,231 --> 00:17:25,461 were saying to me yesterday. 624 00:17:25,466 --> 00:17:25,731 Yeah. 625 00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:25,941 Yeah. 626 00:17:25,941 --> 00:17:26,271 Right. 627 00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:28,397 and, what are the options for, 628 00:17:28,402 --> 00:17:29,837 people don't think of anyone else 629 00:17:29,897 --> 00:17:31,923 being able to do this for them. 630 00:17:31,923 --> 00:17:33,094 what are the options if you're not, 631 00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:34,245 a rich person? 632 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,810 You know the thing, often the 633 00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:38,100 person making the will thinks this 634 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,344 is some kind of a gift or an honor 635 00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:41,914 that they're giving to let someone be 636 00:17:41,914 --> 00:17:42,724 their executor. 637 00:17:42,784 --> 00:17:42,904 Yeah. 638 00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:44,734 It is a dubious honor at best. 639 00:17:44,739 --> 00:17:44,974 Yes. 640 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:48,674 The business of death is horrible. 641 00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:49,114 Mm-hmm. 642 00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:52,234 The business of death, the only good 643 00:17:52,354 --> 00:17:54,154 redeeming quality, in my opinion 644 00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:55,594 about the business of death is quite 645 00:17:55,594 --> 00:17:58,024 frankly, keeps you so busy that it. 646 00:17:58,497 --> 00:18:00,024 Tamps down your grief until you 647 00:18:00,024 --> 00:18:01,564 have a chance to sit in it. 648 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:01,924 Mm-hmm. 649 00:18:01,974 --> 00:18:03,084 in a whole way. 650 00:18:03,294 --> 00:18:03,714 Right? 651 00:18:03,719 --> 00:18:03,934 Mm-hmm. 652 00:18:04,044 --> 00:18:04,134 Mm-hmm. 653 00:18:04,394 --> 00:18:06,944 so that may have some value. 654 00:18:07,214 --> 00:18:07,304 Mm-hmm. 655 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:08,834 Because you gotta do some things. 656 00:18:09,074 --> 00:18:09,224 Right. 657 00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:11,494 I mean, nobody who knows the job ever 658 00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:12,094 wants the job. 659 00:18:12,244 --> 00:18:12,904 Mm-hmm. 660 00:18:12,997 --> 00:18:16,635 but I would say, That if you are in 661 00:18:16,865 --> 00:18:18,585 a position and you are, working with 662 00:18:18,585 --> 00:18:20,475 a family member and they have decided 663 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,525 you're gonna be this person and 664 00:18:21,525 --> 00:18:22,935 you know, you don't want this cuz you're 665 00:18:23,195 --> 00:18:24,761 the caregiver, encourage them to 666 00:18:24,761 --> 00:18:26,081 choose someone else. 667 00:18:26,081 --> 00:18:26,441 Mm-hmm. 668 00:18:26,761 --> 00:18:29,355 Someone who the business part won't 669 00:18:29,355 --> 00:18:30,525 be daunting to them. 670 00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:30,955 Mm-hmm. 671 00:18:31,195 --> 00:18:32,755 It won't be emotional to them. 672 00:18:32,881 --> 00:18:34,051 now in your case, maybe you didn't 673 00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,971 have anyone, if you're an only child 674 00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,125 or if your adult child is an adult 675 00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:38,905 enough yet mm-hmm. 676 00:18:39,145 --> 00:18:39,715 They can't do it. 677 00:18:39,715 --> 00:18:39,955 Right. 678 00:18:39,955 --> 00:18:40,735 That kind of a thing. 679 00:18:41,093 --> 00:18:42,773 I will tell you, you're probably 680 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:43,673 not gonna like this answer, 681 00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:45,323 but I don't like sharing that job. 682 00:18:45,893 --> 00:18:47,828 Having two people have the job, 683 00:18:47,828 --> 00:18:49,488 sounds like, divide and conquer, 684 00:18:49,488 --> 00:18:51,348 but more, that's more of a problem 685 00:18:51,348 --> 00:18:51,918 than anything. 686 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:52,548 Mm-hmm. 687 00:18:52,554 --> 00:18:53,718 And you, having done it, you would 688 00:18:54,098 --> 00:18:55,218 probably understand having to sign 689 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:57,048 papers, having to be available 690 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,787 to, go through documents, whatever. 691 00:18:58,937 --> 00:19:00,977 If you need someone else and they live 692 00:19:00,977 --> 00:19:03,123 in another state, or they have a 693 00:19:03,123 --> 00:19:05,994 busy life just like you, that's gonna 694 00:19:05,999 --> 00:19:08,343 extend this torture longer than it 695 00:19:08,343 --> 00:19:09,063 needs to be done. 696 00:19:09,428 --> 00:19:10,280 So, right. 697 00:19:10,428 --> 00:19:11,178 I don't like that. 698 00:19:11,178 --> 00:19:11,988 And the third thing I wanna 699 00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:12,918 say about this, cuz it's really 700 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,088 important, cause old people love to 701 00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:15,798 make their oldest child the executor 702 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:16,788 or their son. 703 00:19:17,754 --> 00:19:19,428 Now they live in Virginia, youngest 704 00:19:19,428 --> 00:19:20,208 only daughter. 705 00:19:20,808 --> 00:19:22,758 They live in Virginia like you 706 00:19:22,763 --> 00:19:23,448 do, let's say. 707 00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:25,008 And their son lives in Seattle 708 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,508 and they're gonna pick their son 709 00:19:26,508 --> 00:19:27,528 who's in Seattle. 710 00:19:27,588 --> 00:19:29,208 And I'm like, what are you doing? 711 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:29,568 Mm-hmm. 712 00:19:29,808 --> 00:19:31,638 I really, really don't 713 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:32,418 recommend this. 714 00:19:32,848 --> 00:19:34,228 It's not a good idea. 715 00:19:34,529 --> 00:19:36,178 You've gotta pick someone who's here, 716 00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:37,908 the, where the estate is, where the 717 00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,068 physical need to do the paperwork is. 718 00:19:40,321 --> 00:19:42,018 And I know we do a lot of things online 719 00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:44,468 now, but trust me, it's better to be 720 00:19:44,798 --> 00:19:46,148 where your stuff is. 721 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,288 Yeah, absolutely. 722 00:19:47,288 --> 00:19:48,328 So, absolutely. 723 00:19:48,328 --> 00:19:50,667 So, yeah, and if it's okay with 724 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,377 you, I'd like to veer a little left. 725 00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:52,947 Sure. 726 00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:54,747 Which is just talk about work 727 00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:56,127 and caregiving where people who 728 00:19:56,127 --> 00:19:57,717 work in corporate America mm-hmm. 729 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,078 You have so many things available to 730 00:20:00,078 --> 00:20:01,278 you that you don't even know about. 731 00:20:01,288 --> 00:20:02,158 for instance, you probably have 732 00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,855 legal benefits, but you haven't 733 00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:05,475 thought about it in terms of a power 734 00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:07,005 of attorney or powers of attorney 735 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:07,725 for your parents. 736 00:20:08,031 --> 00:20:09,975 You think about it if you have a D U I 737 00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,930 or if you have, an accident, you need 738 00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:12,440 to get a lawyer. 739 00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:14,392 That's a really, as I told you, the 740 00:20:14,802 --> 00:20:15,172 critical piece. 741 00:20:15,352 --> 00:20:17,032 If you have legal benefits, use them 742 00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:18,922 for this part, for the caregiving part, 743 00:20:19,162 --> 00:20:21,832 you can use it for a family member. 744 00:20:22,072 --> 00:20:24,772 Well, this, okay, maybe not, but 745 00:20:24,772 --> 00:20:26,092 I haven't met a lawyer yet who 746 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,442 said is gonna say, no, no, no. 747 00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:28,822 I don't wanna do any work for anybody 748 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:29,752 else in your family. 749 00:20:29,782 --> 00:20:29,812 Okay. 750 00:20:30,142 --> 00:20:30,532 Oh yeah. 751 00:20:30,903 --> 00:20:32,872 You say, I'm gonna come in, 752 00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:34,852 I'm gonna bring my parents in and. 753 00:20:35,212 --> 00:20:37,102 Would you mind giving us the same 754 00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:39,332 wonderful, 20% off or whatever that 755 00:20:39,522 --> 00:20:39,882 you're giving me. 756 00:20:39,882 --> 00:20:40,082 Mm-hmm. 757 00:20:40,162 --> 00:20:40,982 And then I'm gonna tell my brother 758 00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:42,872 and sister it's probably not for 759 00:20:42,872 --> 00:20:44,342 your family members, but lawyers don't 760 00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:45,302 turn business away. 761 00:20:45,332 --> 00:20:46,232 We're not in the business 762 00:20:46,232 --> 00:20:46,952 of doing that. 763 00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:47,312 Mm-hmm. 764 00:20:47,557 --> 00:20:47,692 Mm-hmm. 765 00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:48,272 We want clients. 766 00:20:48,272 --> 00:20:49,442 Boy, do we want families? 767 00:20:49,502 --> 00:20:50,949 That's even better. 768 00:20:51,099 --> 00:20:51,309 Right? 769 00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:53,349 So use your legal benefits. 770 00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:53,819 yes. 771 00:20:53,979 --> 00:20:55,639 Use it for your parents in whatever 772 00:20:55,639 --> 00:20:57,239 fashion you can check out. 773 00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:58,155 Long-term care insurance. 774 00:20:58,155 --> 00:20:59,415 Do you have that at work? 775 00:20:59,420 --> 00:20:59,885 Mm-hmm. 776 00:20:59,965 --> 00:21:00,445 Check it out. 777 00:21:00,445 --> 00:21:01,005 Mm-hmm. 778 00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:02,205 Just at least look at it. 779 00:21:02,385 --> 00:21:04,575 When my husband had it many years ago, 780 00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,165 you could buy it for your parents. 781 00:21:06,195 --> 00:21:07,125 How cool is that? 782 00:21:07,635 --> 00:21:07,845 Hmm. 783 00:21:07,845 --> 00:21:09,825 And it's coming back in a big way as a 784 00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:10,845 corporate benefit. 785 00:21:10,875 --> 00:21:11,175 Yes. 786 00:21:11,175 --> 00:21:13,262 And if you're in the C-suite, you can 787 00:21:13,262 --> 00:21:15,940 deduct that, premium as a, deductible 788 00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,019 either I don't know if it's a health 789 00:21:17,019 --> 00:21:18,362 cost or business cost, but it's a 790 00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:19,562 deductible cost. 791 00:21:19,562 --> 00:21:20,072 Mm-hmm. 792 00:21:20,319 --> 00:21:21,579 do you know what, may be available 793 00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:23,109 for people who are self-employed 794 00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:24,069 or have 795 00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:24,409 so, 796 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:25,619 so that's one right there. 797 00:21:25,624 --> 00:21:26,879 Long-term care insurance and 798 00:21:26,879 --> 00:21:28,379 then the deduction of the premium. 799 00:21:28,469 --> 00:21:29,219 Absolutely. 800 00:21:29,309 --> 00:21:31,089 That's a perfect example of that. 801 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,519 So the businessing P and then 802 00:21:32,609 --> 00:21:33,529 Yes, exactly. 803 00:21:33,739 --> 00:21:34,409 Exactly. 804 00:21:34,409 --> 00:21:34,889 Mm-hmm. 805 00:21:34,916 --> 00:21:36,806 and also obviously in a work where you 806 00:21:36,806 --> 00:21:38,567 have paid time off and you have F M L 807 00:21:38,572 --> 00:21:41,426 A and all of those things, you can use 808 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,736 them appropriately for caregiving 809 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,206 and caregiving for the people. 810 00:21:45,206 --> 00:21:46,136 It used to be, would, could only 811 00:21:46,141 --> 00:21:47,756 be your spouse, and now they've expanded 812 00:21:47,761 --> 00:21:49,466 it to your parents and I think they've 813 00:21:49,466 --> 00:21:50,936 even expanded it more to other 814 00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:51,776 family members. 815 00:21:51,836 --> 00:21:51,926 Mm-hmm. 816 00:21:52,171 --> 00:21:53,756 So check that out at work. 817 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:54,836 and then you have. 818 00:21:54,886 --> 00:21:56,356 EAPs with a mental health. 819 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:57,856 Mental health is a big deal right now. 820 00:21:57,856 --> 00:21:58,576 It's everywhere. 821 00:21:58,576 --> 00:21:59,806 We're all gonna pay for mental health. 822 00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:01,622 Well, if nothing's gonna give you more 823 00:22:01,712 --> 00:22:03,422 mental health stress than caregiving, 824 00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:05,012 I don't know what it is, right? 825 00:22:05,017 --> 00:22:05,152 Mm-hmm. 826 00:22:05,232 --> 00:22:05,752 Mm-hmm. 827 00:22:05,832 --> 00:22:06,452 Use that. 828 00:22:06,457 --> 00:22:06,992 Mm-hmm. 829 00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:09,273 Take advantage of it just because 830 00:22:09,273 --> 00:22:11,089 you don't feel like you're losing your 831 00:22:11,089 --> 00:22:13,266 mind, but you know you're under extra 832 00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:15,196 stress Doesn't mean you shouldn't 833 00:22:15,196 --> 00:22:16,636 be using a mental health benefit. 834 00:22:16,676 --> 00:22:17,286 Mm-hmm. 835 00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:18,249 So, Yeah. 836 00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:18,849 And a lot of it 837 00:22:18,849 --> 00:22:21,819 is kind of delayed kind of reaction. 838 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:22,564 It is in it. 839 00:22:22,564 --> 00:22:23,619 You're just in it, it's almost 840 00:22:23,798 --> 00:22:24,669 like survival 841 00:22:24,724 --> 00:22:27,604 and people are just very unschooled 842 00:22:27,604 --> 00:22:29,484 about what they have at work that Would 843 00:22:29,484 --> 00:22:31,524 be helpful in this kind of a situation. 844 00:22:31,794 --> 00:22:31,974 Mm-hmm. 845 00:22:32,304 --> 00:22:32,634 Yeah. 846 00:22:32,902 --> 00:22:35,004 And if you, have your own, you know, 847 00:22:35,048 --> 00:22:36,939 I am a solopreneur and I have, 848 00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:38,339 health insurance and through it 849 00:22:38,339 --> 00:22:40,619 I do have mental health benefits. 850 00:22:40,619 --> 00:22:42,479 And so preneurs 851 00:22:42,765 --> 00:22:44,879 hopefully have that element within their 852 00:22:44,879 --> 00:22:45,899 insurance as well. 853 00:22:46,152 --> 00:22:46,482 yeah. 854 00:22:46,752 --> 00:22:47,232 So 855 00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:48,132 tell me like, 856 00:22:48,487 --> 00:22:50,600 all this costs money. 857 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,140 Are there strategies for, how people 858 00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:55,675 who are, this audience is 859 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,835 primarily founders of service-based 860 00:22:57,835 --> 00:22:58,645 businesses. 861 00:22:59,065 --> 00:23:02,525 How they can, be, I mean, strategies for 862 00:23:02,530 --> 00:23:05,805 them to help access and pay for, these 863 00:23:05,805 --> 00:23:06,795 types of services. 864 00:23:07,395 --> 00:23:08,685 So, yes. 865 00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,442 It's almost always gonna depend on 866 00:23:10,442 --> 00:23:11,818 whether you're, the person you're 867 00:23:11,818 --> 00:23:13,738 caring for has means or doesn't have 868 00:23:13,738 --> 00:23:14,548 means, all right? 869 00:23:14,553 --> 00:23:14,792 Mm-hmm. 870 00:23:14,888 --> 00:23:15,868 So if they have means they're 871 00:23:15,868 --> 00:23:16,978 gonna have to use their own money, 872 00:23:17,008 --> 00:23:18,868 but again, let 'em pay you Even if 873 00:23:18,868 --> 00:23:20,188 you're bringing in caregivers at 874 00:23:20,193 --> 00:23:22,228 $25 an hour, you should still get 875 00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:23,178 paid for your work. 876 00:23:23,348 --> 00:23:23,618 Mm-hmm. 877 00:23:23,698 --> 00:23:26,027 Your, time should be paid time. 878 00:23:26,087 --> 00:23:26,397 Mm-hmm. 879 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:28,061 Get paid. 880 00:23:28,061 --> 00:23:28,621 Mm-hmm. 881 00:23:28,701 --> 00:23:29,421 10 99. 882 00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:31,846 so let's say your parents are people 883 00:23:31,846 --> 00:23:33,856 of assets, then if their assets are 884 00:23:33,856 --> 00:23:35,176 gonna be used to pay for their care, 885 00:23:35,176 --> 00:23:36,376 that's typical. 886 00:23:36,861 --> 00:23:38,606 And also ask and find out if they 887 00:23:38,606 --> 00:23:40,456 have long-term care policies. 888 00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:41,906 I didn't find out I was taking, my 889 00:23:41,906 --> 00:23:42,716 brother had ms. 890 00:23:42,716 --> 00:23:44,366 The worst kind, very, very 891 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:45,676 incapacitated for a long time. 892 00:23:45,912 --> 00:23:47,142 3, 4, 5 years into it. 893 00:23:47,142 --> 00:23:48,222 I found out he had a long-term 894 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:48,942 care policy. 895 00:23:49,122 --> 00:23:49,932 Oh my goodness. 896 00:23:50,112 --> 00:23:51,642 Oh, we got it finally. 897 00:23:51,642 --> 00:23:52,657 we got all the benefits. 898 00:23:52,662 --> 00:23:53,467 It was wonderful. 899 00:23:53,467 --> 00:23:55,447 But it's like, where was that? 900 00:23:55,447 --> 00:23:55,967 Mm-hmm. 901 00:23:56,457 --> 00:23:58,617 So look through your loved one's papers, 902 00:23:58,617 --> 00:23:59,967 cuz often they don't even know what 903 00:23:59,967 --> 00:24:00,957 they have, right? 904 00:24:01,194 --> 00:24:02,249 So, and that's a place where 905 00:24:02,254 --> 00:24:02,999 money lies. 906 00:24:03,226 --> 00:24:04,486 and sometimes they have life insurance 907 00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:05,686 that has a long-term care rider. 908 00:24:06,254 --> 00:24:07,874 That's a place where money lies. 909 00:24:07,964 --> 00:24:08,114 Mm-hmm. 910 00:24:08,354 --> 00:24:09,764 Often they have bought that and they 911 00:24:09,764 --> 00:24:10,973 forgot about it, or they don't know 912 00:24:10,973 --> 00:24:11,783 how to start it. 913 00:24:11,813 --> 00:24:13,043 They don't know how to implement 914 00:24:13,043 --> 00:24:13,463 it, right? 915 00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:13,823 Mm-hmm. 916 00:24:14,248 --> 00:24:15,353 Annuities often have this thing, 917 00:24:15,576 --> 00:24:17,103 they're called hybrid policies. 918 00:24:17,108 --> 00:24:18,443 Now, a lot of people are buying these 919 00:24:18,448 --> 00:24:19,943 hybrid policies that are long-term 920 00:24:19,948 --> 00:24:21,923 care policy riders attached to a 921 00:24:21,923 --> 00:24:23,663 life insurance benefit, so pay 922 00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:24,503 attention to that. 923 00:24:24,503 --> 00:24:25,943 If you're a solopreneur and 924 00:24:25,943 --> 00:24:27,893 you're taking care of a loved one, or 925 00:24:27,893 --> 00:24:29,184 if you wanna do it for yourself, right? 926 00:24:29,423 --> 00:24:29,663 Mm-hmm. 927 00:24:29,743 --> 00:24:31,193 There's lots of ways to protect. 928 00:24:31,933 --> 00:24:32,173 Yourself. 929 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,565 for a long-term care event. 930 00:24:33,815 --> 00:24:35,145 then there's these agencies. 931 00:24:35,195 --> 00:24:36,755 if you're a person without assets, 932 00:24:37,305 --> 00:24:39,065 Medicaid actually has ways for 933 00:24:39,070 --> 00:24:39,965 you to get paid. 934 00:24:40,273 --> 00:24:41,435 Also, your state will have 935 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,205 things called a waiver program. 936 00:24:43,285 --> 00:24:43,860 That's what it's called. 937 00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:44,700 I don't know why, but that's 938 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:45,210 what it's called. 939 00:24:45,345 --> 00:24:45,434 Mm-hmm. 940 00:24:45,674 --> 00:24:47,418 Um, and if your loved one is staying 941 00:24:47,418 --> 00:24:50,238 home, they are entitled to benefits 942 00:24:50,682 --> 00:24:52,638 to allow someone to help care for them. 943 00:24:52,638 --> 00:24:54,468 And that's a way for you to also get 944 00:24:54,468 --> 00:24:55,818 paid without going through an agency, 945 00:24:55,823 --> 00:24:57,708 just a person who's caring for them 946 00:24:57,868 --> 00:24:59,748 and they qualify for Medicaid that 947 00:24:59,753 --> 00:25:01,308 you almost always have to do either 948 00:25:01,308 --> 00:25:02,928 through an elder lawyer, which 949 00:25:03,048 --> 00:25:05,298 would be great, or the area of. 950 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,061 Agency, on aging. 951 00:25:07,061 --> 00:25:07,341 Mm-hmm. 952 00:25:07,661 --> 00:25:09,341 Everyone has one somewhere, and it's 953 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:10,341 called something families, sometimes 954 00:25:10,341 --> 00:25:11,631 it's called, it's called something 955 00:25:11,751 --> 00:25:12,261 like that. 956 00:25:12,565 --> 00:25:14,215 But there, every state has 'em, every 957 00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:14,965 county has them. 958 00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:16,005 Everybody's got 'em. 959 00:25:16,165 --> 00:25:17,215 And that's where you would get 960 00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:19,135 guidance on where the money lies. 961 00:25:19,887 --> 00:25:20,697 so there's money. 962 00:25:20,757 --> 00:25:21,367 Mm-hmm. 963 00:25:21,717 --> 00:25:22,454 Now how you 964 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:23,534 mentioned eight. 965 00:25:23,837 --> 00:25:24,647 You even caregiver to 966 00:25:24,647 --> 00:25:27,860 eight people is true story simultaneously 967 00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:28,700 sometimes. 968 00:25:28,767 --> 00:25:29,497 how did you do this? 969 00:25:29,857 --> 00:25:30,877 Sometimes it was started out with 970 00:25:30,877 --> 00:25:32,977 my grandmother who was 92 and came to 971 00:25:32,982 --> 00:25:34,297 live with me and my two-year-old 972 00:25:34,297 --> 00:25:35,077 at the same time. 973 00:25:35,077 --> 00:25:36,757 So talk about a sandwich, right? 974 00:25:36,817 --> 00:25:36,937 Mm-hmm. 975 00:25:37,182 --> 00:25:37,727 Mm-hmm. 976 00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:38,887 And those two just loved 977 00:25:38,887 --> 00:25:39,607 ganging up on me. 978 00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:41,527 They thought it was hilarious to 979 00:25:41,587 --> 00:25:43,684 be living this life Of chaos. 980 00:25:44,734 --> 00:25:45,364 Of chaos. 981 00:25:45,787 --> 00:25:47,452 and then I had several, great aunt, 982 00:25:47,452 --> 00:25:48,961 my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law that 983 00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:49,801 I told you about Ms. 984 00:25:49,851 --> 00:25:51,349 while I was the primary 985 00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:52,429 caregiver for my brother-in-law 986 00:25:52,429 --> 00:25:52,879 who had ms. 987 00:25:52,879 --> 00:25:54,289 My very best friend fell down a flight 988 00:25:54,289 --> 00:25:55,609 of stairs and had a traumatic brain 989 00:25:55,609 --> 00:25:58,772 injury and her husband of 34 years. 990 00:25:59,099 --> 00:25:59,429 Left. 991 00:25:59,429 --> 00:26:01,789 Her and She only had friends, her 992 00:26:01,789 --> 00:26:03,109 children lived on the other side of 993 00:26:03,369 --> 00:26:05,779 the country, and so I became her 994 00:26:05,779 --> 00:26:06,739 primary caregiver. 995 00:26:06,739 --> 00:26:08,269 And then her, our other friends also 996 00:26:08,269 --> 00:26:10,369 stepped up, so it was simultaneous. 997 00:26:10,374 --> 00:26:10,709 Mm-hmm. 998 00:26:10,849 --> 00:26:12,369 And all the while being a 999 00:26:12,369 --> 00:26:13,689 solopreneur, right? 1000 00:26:13,689 --> 00:26:13,969 Mm-hmm. 1001 00:26:14,149 --> 00:26:16,189 So, I'm not gonna lie, my business 1002 00:26:17,366 --> 00:26:19,487 slowed down very dramatically. 1003 00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:20,127 Mm-hmm. 1004 00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:22,402 but I'm also not gonna lie and say 1005 00:26:22,402 --> 00:26:23,602 that that wasn't. 1006 00:26:23,922 --> 00:26:25,902 the key and the impetus to create 1007 00:26:25,902 --> 00:26:26,772 what I do now. 1008 00:26:26,999 --> 00:26:28,544 So there's the gift, right? 1009 00:26:28,664 --> 00:26:30,044 I see what's happening and yeah. 1010 00:26:30,044 --> 00:26:30,734 it was hard. 1011 00:26:30,794 --> 00:26:31,904 Yeah, it was hard. 1012 00:26:31,994 --> 00:26:33,434 I spent a lot of time taking care 1013 00:26:33,439 --> 00:26:36,314 of my kids and my family members and 1014 00:26:36,319 --> 00:26:39,162 my friend, because I could, and I will 1015 00:26:39,162 --> 00:26:41,802 tell you, I have an amazing, awesome 1016 00:26:41,802 --> 00:26:42,832 husband mm-hmm. 1017 00:26:43,272 --> 00:26:45,462 Who was more than willing to let me 1018 00:26:45,552 --> 00:26:46,722 be that person. 1019 00:26:46,842 --> 00:26:47,022 Mm-hmm. 1020 00:26:47,582 --> 00:26:50,162 That's probably the biggest key. 1021 00:26:50,552 --> 00:26:50,912 Yeah. 1022 00:26:51,064 --> 00:26:51,388 And you 1023 00:26:51,393 --> 00:26:53,608 said, Work-life balance does 1024 00:26:53,608 --> 00:26:54,568 not exist. 1025 00:26:54,628 --> 00:26:56,038 What's the closest thing 1026 00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:57,598 that comes to it? 1027 00:26:57,688 --> 00:26:58,198 Like what? 1028 00:26:58,589 --> 00:26:58,708 How 1029 00:26:58,708 --> 00:26:59,477 do we protect ourselves? 1030 00:26:59,638 --> 00:27:00,778 If you wait long enough, it 1031 00:27:00,778 --> 00:27:01,318 comes around. 1032 00:27:05,122 --> 00:27:07,762 The closest thing that comes to it is 1033 00:27:07,822 --> 00:27:12,563 recognizing that you have to put yourself 1034 00:27:12,563 --> 00:27:14,766 first sometimes. 1035 00:27:15,196 --> 00:27:17,090 And not when you're dead, and not when 1036 00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:18,560 you're exhausted, and not when you're 1037 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:19,940 yelling at everyone because you've 1038 00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:21,740 just burnt out. 1039 00:27:22,029 --> 00:27:22,320 Mm-hmm. 1040 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,390 That you have to figure out 1041 00:27:23,390 --> 00:27:23,870 what that is. 1042 00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:26,657 So my, calendar has, a workout in 1043 00:27:26,657 --> 00:27:27,647 it four days a week. 1044 00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:28,217 Right. 1045 00:27:28,434 --> 00:27:29,747 And that is sacred time. 1046 00:27:30,017 --> 00:27:32,336 Nobody gets that hour except my 1047 00:27:32,396 --> 00:27:33,446 trainer, who I hate. 1048 00:27:37,676 --> 00:27:38,902 it's like that, right? 1049 00:27:38,942 --> 00:27:40,718 and if it's, only a half hour, because 1050 00:27:40,718 --> 00:27:42,308 you have, there was a time when I 1051 00:27:42,308 --> 00:27:44,378 had a 15 year old and a 12 year old, 1052 00:27:44,378 --> 00:27:45,698 and I was taking them to practice, 1053 00:27:45,698 --> 00:27:46,688 and my husband was a traveling 1054 00:27:46,688 --> 00:27:48,188 salesman, so, right. 1055 00:27:48,193 --> 00:27:48,538 Mm-hmm. 1056 00:27:48,908 --> 00:27:50,408 Larry, my brother-in-law 1057 00:27:50,408 --> 00:27:51,728 is five miles from me in an 1058 00:27:51,733 --> 00:27:53,548 independent living, but his wheelchair 1059 00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:53,998 broke down. 1060 00:27:53,998 --> 00:27:55,318 He can't get anywhere. 1061 00:27:55,348 --> 00:27:55,588 Mm-hmm. 1062 00:27:55,668 --> 00:27:57,568 I have to find, so yes. 1063 00:27:57,573 --> 00:27:58,028 Mm-hmm. 1064 00:27:58,113 --> 00:28:00,218 If it's a half hour, I'm gonna read this 1065 00:28:00,218 --> 00:28:01,898 book and nobody's gonna talk to me. 1066 00:28:02,118 --> 00:28:03,373 every night from nine to nine 1067 00:28:03,373 --> 00:28:06,503 30, go away, whatever it is. 1068 00:28:06,693 --> 00:28:07,953 and then it's a bigger thing, 1069 00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:09,183 like those mental health things, 1070 00:28:09,183 --> 00:28:12,773 like you've got to not be, A martyr. 1071 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:13,403 Mm-hmm. 1072 00:28:13,623 --> 00:28:13,823 Yeah. 1073 00:28:13,998 --> 00:28:14,838 The thing where they tell you to 1074 00:28:14,838 --> 00:28:16,599 put your mask on before you, in 1075 00:28:16,599 --> 00:28:18,522 the, if the oxygen goes out in the 1076 00:28:18,522 --> 00:28:18,822 plane. 1077 00:28:19,597 --> 00:28:21,252 But my mom has given me such great 1078 00:28:21,252 --> 00:28:22,092 martyr lessons. 1079 00:28:22,097 --> 00:28:24,252 It's really hard to, let that 1080 00:28:24,252 --> 00:28:25,302 influence go. 1081 00:28:25,647 --> 00:28:27,582 And if she heard me, she'd be like, okay. 1082 00:28:27,622 --> 00:28:28,602 She couldn't hear me. 1083 00:28:28,602 --> 00:28:29,622 She's right down the street. 1084 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,902 Well, she gave you those great jeans, 1085 00:28:31,902 --> 00:28:32,292 yeah. 1086 00:28:32,292 --> 00:28:32,712 Right. 1087 00:28:36,002 --> 00:28:37,292 so that's how you get more 1088 00:28:37,292 --> 00:28:37,862 balance mm-hmm. 1089 00:28:38,262 --> 00:28:41,432 Is by, by shoving it in that calendar. 1090 00:28:41,492 --> 00:28:41,582 Mm-hmm. 1091 00:28:41,827 --> 00:28:43,292 And then, I mean, like everything, 1092 00:28:43,292 --> 00:28:44,942 right, Erin, life just sort 1093 00:28:44,942 --> 00:28:46,052 of balances out. 1094 00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:46,382 Mm-hmm. 1095 00:28:46,622 --> 00:28:47,942 But I just don't want you to be 1096 00:28:48,092 --> 00:28:49,682 destitute at the end of it. 1097 00:28:50,042 --> 00:28:50,132 Mm-hmm. 1098 00:28:50,852 --> 00:28:52,082 That's what I don't want. 1099 00:28:52,386 --> 00:28:52,982 Mm-hmm. 1100 00:28:53,002 --> 00:28:53,562 Right. 1101 00:28:54,304 --> 00:28:56,434 what if it's, let's say you're 1102 00:28:56,644 --> 00:28:58,378 in your fifties and you've been letting 1103 00:28:58,378 --> 00:28:58,948 all these things. 1104 00:28:59,257 --> 00:28:59,610 Then what? 1105 00:28:59,956 --> 00:29:01,486 So, you mean like you don't have 1106 00:29:01,666 --> 00:29:03,256 long-term care insurance and 1107 00:29:03,256 --> 00:29:04,740 you don't have, so look it up. 1108 00:29:04,740 --> 00:29:05,550 I mean, at least look, 1109 00:29:05,825 --> 00:29:07,903 pretending that you can't have it. 1110 00:29:08,233 --> 00:29:08,773 Oh God. 1111 00:29:08,833 --> 00:29:10,213 Is this like the biggest thing that 1112 00:29:10,213 --> 00:29:12,321 you do right in your work, outside 1113 00:29:12,321 --> 00:29:13,131 of what we're talking about, but 1114 00:29:13,131 --> 00:29:14,511 pretending that you can't have it 1115 00:29:14,713 --> 00:29:15,951 because you don't do any homework 1116 00:29:15,956 --> 00:29:17,481 about what that actually means? 1117 00:29:17,722 --> 00:29:18,051 Mm-hmm. 1118 00:29:18,136 --> 00:29:19,731 Is the biggest disservice you can 1119 00:29:19,731 --> 00:29:20,361 do to yourself? 1120 00:29:20,361 --> 00:29:21,211 Just look it up. 1121 00:29:21,401 --> 00:29:22,271 see what's out there. 1122 00:29:22,271 --> 00:29:23,051 See what you have. 1123 00:29:23,473 --> 00:29:24,851 Talk to a professional 1124 00:29:24,851 --> 00:29:26,050 who says, okay. 1125 00:29:26,405 --> 00:29:27,755 I see you have four life insurance 1126 00:29:28,305 --> 00:29:28,625 policies here. 1127 00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:28,865 Why? 1128 00:29:28,865 --> 00:29:30,305 Maybe we can consolidate them and 1129 00:29:30,305 --> 00:29:31,475 make sure there's a long-term care 1130 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,345 rider to that. 1131 00:29:32,345 --> 00:29:34,355 So now you're protected and 1132 00:29:34,355 --> 00:29:35,727 do this one time thing and get 1133 00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:36,927 your documents in order, okay? 1134 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:37,887 Mm-hmm. 1135 00:29:37,967 --> 00:29:38,277 You're done. 1136 00:29:38,337 --> 00:29:39,057 Great job. 1137 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:39,267 Mm-hmm. 1138 00:29:39,512 --> 00:29:39,567 Mm-hmm. 1139 00:29:39,692 --> 00:29:40,167 Mommy's proud. 1140 00:29:40,197 --> 00:29:40,687 Yeah. 1141 00:29:40,887 --> 00:29:40,947 Yeah. 1142 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:41,487 Yeah. 1143 00:29:41,487 --> 00:29:41,847 I will 1144 00:29:41,847 --> 00:29:43,317 say I'm one of the people who's, 1145 00:29:43,317 --> 00:29:45,267 you know, done so many things online 1146 00:29:45,267 --> 00:29:47,187 without kind of that intermediary 1147 00:29:47,187 --> 00:29:49,301 professional, like a broker, 1148 00:29:49,301 --> 00:29:51,044 for insurance or even, for travel. 1149 00:29:51,314 --> 00:29:53,114 We kind of are used to doing things 1150 00:29:53,119 --> 00:29:55,364 on our own, but there are still. 1151 00:29:55,729 --> 00:29:57,619 Insurance brokers in the world is that 1152 00:29:58,389 --> 00:30:00,809 we are and I believe these are complex, 1153 00:30:00,809 --> 00:30:02,009 this isn't just life insurance. 1154 00:30:02,109 --> 00:30:04,479 This is a complex situation and I 1155 00:30:04,479 --> 00:30:05,769 really believe, just like lawyers, 1156 00:30:06,132 --> 00:30:07,449 you can, I'm gonna tell you right up 1157 00:30:07,449 --> 00:30:08,679 front, you can go online and type in 1158 00:30:08,679 --> 00:30:09,549 power of attorney. 1159 00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,479 And something will come up. 1160 00:30:10,996 --> 00:30:12,831 I'm not gonna ever tell you to do that. 1161 00:30:12,831 --> 00:30:14,505 You can do it for your 18 year old. 1162 00:30:14,505 --> 00:30:14,595 Mm-hmm. 1163 00:30:14,995 --> 00:30:16,555 Because you'll get a standard document 1164 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,685 and they don't own anything, so 1165 00:30:17,685 --> 00:30:18,705 who cares, right? 1166 00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:18,915 Mm-hmm. 1167 00:30:19,155 --> 00:30:21,015 But if you have an ira, if you 1168 00:30:21,015 --> 00:30:22,435 have somebody you need, that you're 1169 00:30:22,435 --> 00:30:23,905 worrying about who to be in charge of. 1170 00:30:24,235 --> 00:30:24,985 I think that's a 1171 00:30:24,985 --> 00:30:26,365 conversation with a professional. 1172 00:30:26,745 --> 00:30:28,335 What kind of powers do I really want 1173 00:30:28,335 --> 00:30:28,815 them to have? 1174 00:30:28,815 --> 00:30:29,865 What kind of authority do I 1175 00:30:29,865 --> 00:30:31,155 really want this person to have? 1176 00:30:31,405 --> 00:30:33,428 how much am I gonna let them into my 1177 00:30:33,433 --> 00:30:35,628 stuff or not into my stuff or, whatever. 1178 00:30:35,928 --> 00:30:38,298 I don't recommend that you do 1179 00:30:38,298 --> 00:30:38,808 that online. 1180 00:30:38,868 --> 00:30:41,006 However, if it is absolutely 1181 00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:43,599 impossible for you to, and all lawyers 1182 00:30:43,604 --> 00:30:45,409 aren't ridiculously out, outrageously 1183 00:30:45,414 --> 00:30:46,959 expensive, don't think that either. 1184 00:30:46,959 --> 00:30:48,729 Cause it's not a true story, also 1185 00:30:48,729 --> 00:30:49,569 not a true story. 1186 00:30:49,966 --> 00:30:51,376 You might end up costing yourself 1187 00:30:51,376 --> 00:30:52,906 more money by doing the wrong thing. 1188 00:30:53,306 --> 00:30:54,566 Than by spending some money up 1189 00:30:54,566 --> 00:30:55,886 front and doing the right thing. 1190 00:30:56,282 --> 00:30:56,582 We bring 1191 00:30:56,582 --> 00:30:57,962 up another point like say you are 1192 00:30:57,962 --> 00:31:00,302 not married and you need to find. 1193 00:31:00,679 --> 00:31:03,559 Someone to be the Your person. 1194 00:31:03,589 --> 00:31:03,769 Yeah. 1195 00:31:03,769 --> 00:31:04,369 To your person. 1196 00:31:04,374 --> 00:31:05,959 Like, what should we be looking for in, 1197 00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:06,379 okay. 1198 00:31:06,619 --> 00:31:08,329 So it has to be a person that you 1199 00:31:08,334 --> 00:31:10,519 trust, that you really, truly trust. 1200 00:31:10,542 --> 00:31:10,819 Mm-hmm. 1201 00:31:10,824 --> 00:31:12,369 That is going to because in this 1202 00:31:12,369 --> 00:31:14,469 scenario you can't, you're 1203 00:31:14,469 --> 00:31:16,809 incapacitated and it could be temporary. 1204 00:31:17,033 --> 00:31:18,222 But you're incapacitated. 1205 00:31:18,507 --> 00:31:20,942 Now I will say that anybody who takes on 1206 00:31:20,942 --> 00:31:23,022 the job as a power of attorney is by 1207 00:31:23,022 --> 00:31:24,372 law a fiduciary. 1208 00:31:24,767 --> 00:31:24,947 Right. 1209 00:31:25,039 --> 00:31:27,250 So by law they are going to be 1210 00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:29,200 looked at if they steal from you or 1211 00:31:29,290 --> 00:31:31,120 whatever, but you don't want that. 1212 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,110 You don't wanna deal with that. 1213 00:31:32,502 --> 00:31:34,210 So you want someone who you can trust. 1214 00:31:34,210 --> 00:31:35,020 You want someone who's. 1215 00:31:35,653 --> 00:31:36,963 Probably financially savvy on the 1216 00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:39,137 financial side, and that might not be 1217 00:31:39,137 --> 00:31:39,767 the same person. 1218 00:31:39,767 --> 00:31:40,817 Maybe you want two people, 1219 00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:43,067 someone who's much more savvy or 1220 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:45,017 compassionate on the healthcare side. 1221 00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:45,757 don't pull the plug. 1222 00:31:45,757 --> 00:31:46,927 I'm having an appendectomy. 1223 00:31:50,353 --> 00:31:51,613 Just cause I don't think my brother 1224 00:31:51,613 --> 00:31:53,693 listens to this, that he's financial 1225 00:31:53,693 --> 00:31:55,093 power attorney, but somebody 1226 00:31:55,098 --> 00:31:56,123 else, the medical power attorney. 1227 00:31:56,303 --> 00:31:56,903 Yes, 1228 00:31:56,953 --> 00:31:57,343 yes. 1229 00:31:57,348 --> 00:31:59,233 And, I agree for people and 1230 00:31:59,238 --> 00:32:00,818 Florida, I'm in Pennsylvania, so I 1231 00:32:00,818 --> 00:32:02,648 am only licensed to practice law here. 1232 00:32:02,979 --> 00:32:04,808 But I will tell you that Florida has, 1233 00:32:04,808 --> 00:32:05,948 apparently I got a have friends in 1234 00:32:05,948 --> 00:32:07,568 Florida, there's some weird thing 1235 00:32:07,568 --> 00:32:10,148 in there, laws that says if your 1236 00:32:10,148 --> 00:32:13,254 executor has to be a blood relative, Hmm. 1237 00:32:13,574 --> 00:32:14,144 I know. 1238 00:32:14,281 --> 00:32:15,601 And I didn't believe my friend when she 1239 00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:16,741 told me that, I'm like, that can't be 1240 00:32:16,741 --> 00:32:17,671 true, but mm-hmm. 1241 00:32:17,911 --> 00:32:18,451 It's true. 1242 00:32:18,734 --> 00:32:18,814 Hmm. 1243 00:32:18,814 --> 00:32:19,834 So what if you don't have any 1244 00:32:19,834 --> 00:32:20,734 blood relatives? 1245 00:32:20,764 --> 00:32:21,004 Right. 1246 00:32:21,004 --> 00:32:21,634 Exactly. 1247 00:32:23,494 --> 00:32:24,394 Or what if you don't like them? 1248 00:32:24,541 --> 00:32:24,736 Right. 1249 00:32:24,976 --> 00:32:25,756 You haven't talked to them. 1250 00:32:25,756 --> 00:32:26,026 Yeah. 1251 00:32:26,026 --> 00:32:26,596 In 30 years. 1252 00:32:27,046 --> 00:32:27,536 Yeah. 1253 00:32:27,713 --> 00:32:28,563 so a person. 1254 00:32:29,154 --> 00:32:30,414 That you trust in a person that 1255 00:32:30,414 --> 00:32:32,154 has knowledge and capability. 1256 00:32:32,323 --> 00:32:34,031 Even if it's just for a temporary 1257 00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:35,681 time, is the person you and you should 1258 00:32:35,681 --> 00:32:37,601 talk to them first and say, I'm going 1259 00:32:37,601 --> 00:32:39,431 to ask you if something happens 1260 00:32:39,431 --> 00:32:40,631 to be this person. 1261 00:32:40,631 --> 00:32:41,141 Mm-hmm. 1262 00:32:41,144 --> 00:32:42,354 Will you do that for me? 1263 00:32:42,684 --> 00:32:42,864 Yeah. 1264 00:32:42,954 --> 00:32:43,134 Yeah. 1265 00:32:43,139 --> 00:32:43,974 You definitely don't want it to 1266 00:32:43,974 --> 00:32:44,844 be a surprise. 1267 00:32:44,904 --> 00:32:45,774 Oh no. 1268 00:32:46,764 --> 00:32:47,754 Not a good idea. 1269 00:32:47,754 --> 00:32:48,516 Because it can 1270 00:32:48,516 --> 00:32:50,046 be a fair amount of work. 1271 00:32:50,046 --> 00:32:51,116 Absolutely, yes. 1272 00:32:51,711 --> 00:32:52,491 So 1273 00:32:52,521 --> 00:32:55,801 this is the Hourly Exit podcast, and we 1274 00:32:55,801 --> 00:32:57,961 talk about building a scalable and 1275 00:32:57,961 --> 00:32:59,491 saleable business. 1276 00:33:00,001 --> 00:33:02,371 And so in the context of that, 1277 00:33:02,371 --> 00:33:03,476 for our 1278 00:33:04,226 --> 00:33:05,996 solopreneurs or entrepreneurs, 1279 00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:09,120 where does this fit into making sure 1280 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,800 they're building a solid, sustainable 1281 00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:11,340 business? 1282 00:33:11,820 --> 00:33:13,850 So here's the thing, if you are 1283 00:33:13,855 --> 00:33:16,140 working on a solid, sustainable business 1284 00:33:16,145 --> 00:33:18,540 right now, What do you have in place 1285 00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:19,830 in case something happens to you? 1286 00:33:20,100 --> 00:33:20,710 Mm-hmm. 1287 00:33:21,060 --> 00:33:22,270 Even if it's temporary. 1288 00:33:22,511 --> 00:33:23,766 What happens if you have to step out 1289 00:33:23,766 --> 00:33:25,026 for three months or six months 1290 00:33:25,026 --> 00:33:27,220 because you got hit by a car, right? 1291 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:27,400 Mm-hmm. 1292 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,600 What do you have in place? 1293 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,640 That's what Kathy is trying to 1294 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:31,450 get you to do. 1295 00:33:31,450 --> 00:33:31,540 Mm-hmm. 1296 00:33:32,070 --> 00:33:33,250 Put something in place to give you 1297 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,110 the peace of mind so that what Erin 1298 00:33:35,110 --> 00:33:36,460 has done, which has helped you 1299 00:33:36,460 --> 00:33:38,500 build this business that will sustain 1300 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,330 itself while you're healing. 1301 00:33:40,721 --> 00:33:41,016 Right. 1302 00:33:41,316 --> 00:33:43,296 That's gonna keep going and you're 1303 00:33:43,296 --> 00:33:44,766 gonna be over here and all your 1304 00:33:45,196 --> 00:33:46,056 documents and everything is in 1305 00:33:46,056 --> 00:33:47,826 place, and you don't have to worry about 1306 00:33:47,826 --> 00:33:48,756 crisis planning. 1307 00:33:48,756 --> 00:33:49,316 Mm-hmm. 1308 00:33:49,546 --> 00:33:50,926 So these two professionals 1309 00:33:50,926 --> 00:33:52,636 sitting at this table now talking to 1310 00:33:52,636 --> 00:33:55,366 you have just given you peace of mind. 1311 00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:55,996 Yeah. 1312 00:33:56,176 --> 00:33:56,506 Yeah. 1313 00:33:56,686 --> 00:33:58,956 So few people think about that. 1314 00:33:59,006 --> 00:33:59,991 nobody thinks they're gonna to 1315 00:33:59,991 --> 00:34:02,151 get hit by a bus or get long covid 1316 00:34:02,151 --> 00:34:02,811 or whatever it is. 1317 00:34:02,811 --> 00:34:03,141 Right, 1318 00:34:03,191 --> 00:34:03,581 Function. 1319 00:34:03,581 --> 00:34:03,911 Yeah. 1320 00:34:03,911 --> 00:34:04,451 It's all sort. 1321 00:34:04,451 --> 00:34:04,871 Right. 1322 00:34:05,171 --> 00:34:05,321 Yeah. 1323 00:34:05,441 --> 00:34:07,241 I mean, and, it could be as, I don't 1324 00:34:07,241 --> 00:34:08,441 wanna say simple as long covid. 1325 00:34:08,441 --> 00:34:09,731 It could, because that's not simple, 1326 00:34:09,731 --> 00:34:11,751 but it could be as, Like, nobody 1327 00:34:11,751 --> 00:34:12,681 sees it but you. 1328 00:34:12,861 --> 00:34:13,761 I'm exhausted. 1329 00:34:13,761 --> 00:34:14,721 It's like mono, right? 1330 00:34:14,801 --> 00:34:15,001 Mm-hmm. 1331 00:34:15,081 --> 00:34:16,671 I can do two hours of work today and 1332 00:34:16,671 --> 00:34:17,511 then I am done. 1333 00:34:17,721 --> 00:34:18,586 I, am done. 1334 00:34:18,586 --> 00:34:20,296 I cannot do one more minute. 1335 00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:20,926 Right? 1336 00:34:21,196 --> 00:34:23,776 And I need someone to do my banking. 1337 00:34:23,776 --> 00:34:26,446 I need someone to go get my car serviced. 1338 00:34:26,446 --> 00:34:28,426 I need someone, somebody who 1339 00:34:28,426 --> 00:34:29,896 has authority to do that. 1340 00:34:29,896 --> 00:34:31,456 Just go do that. 1341 00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:31,996 Yeah. 1342 00:34:32,386 --> 00:34:33,136 Peace of mind. 1343 00:34:33,526 --> 00:34:33,736 Yeah. 1344 00:34:33,916 --> 00:34:34,436 So smart. 1345 00:34:35,075 --> 00:34:36,376 So, I. 1346 00:34:36,409 --> 00:34:37,978 Typically don't have lawyers on, 1347 00:34:37,978 --> 00:34:40,048 but I'll ask, are you building your 1348 00:34:40,048 --> 00:34:42,328 business with an eye towards selling it 1349 00:34:42,328 --> 00:34:42,688 someday? 1350 00:34:43,209 --> 00:34:44,340 Well, I'm not building my 1351 00:34:44,340 --> 00:34:45,000 legal business. 1352 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:45,690 I'm gonna be perfectly 1353 00:34:45,690 --> 00:34:46,380 honest with you. 1354 00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:48,090 I'm actually more your client than 1355 00:34:48,090 --> 00:34:49,886 I am a lawyer because you can 1356 00:34:49,886 --> 00:34:52,256 see I got three books behind me. 1357 00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:54,211 I've written three books, and my. 1358 00:34:55,176 --> 00:34:58,602 Really, work life is speaking to groups, 1359 00:34:58,602 --> 00:35:01,315 speaking to ideally large corporations 1360 00:35:01,315 --> 00:35:03,085 who will bring in their employees to 1361 00:35:03,085 --> 00:35:04,705 talk about these kinds of issues, 1362 00:35:04,869 --> 00:35:07,045 but also about what the employer can 1363 00:35:07,045 --> 00:35:09,489 do for them when this caregiving 1364 00:35:09,494 --> 00:35:11,432 thing affects them as a worker. 1365 00:35:11,432 --> 00:35:11,912 Mm-hmm. 1366 00:35:11,972 --> 00:35:12,092 Right. 1367 00:35:12,570 --> 00:35:13,522 So I'm a speaker. 1368 00:35:13,522 --> 00:35:15,022 I'm a speaker and a writer more than 1369 00:35:15,022 --> 00:35:16,132 I am a lawyer. 1370 00:35:16,252 --> 00:35:16,492 Mm-hmm. 1371 00:35:16,732 --> 00:35:17,962 but family and friends, you know, 1372 00:35:17,962 --> 00:35:19,132 there's eight different family 1373 00:35:19,132 --> 00:35:19,882 members and friends. 1374 00:35:19,887 --> 00:35:21,652 Well, there's lots more them around 1375 00:35:22,672 --> 00:35:23,182 really. 1376 00:35:23,182 --> 00:35:26,402 Cottage industry, you have basically 1377 00:35:26,545 --> 00:35:27,395 family members. 1378 00:35:27,395 --> 00:35:27,715 Great. 1379 00:35:27,715 --> 00:35:29,865 Therefore, well that's wonderful. 1380 00:35:29,865 --> 00:35:31,715 Well, thank you for sharing that. 1381 00:35:31,914 --> 00:35:34,540 So as we wrap up three final things. 1382 00:35:34,930 --> 00:35:37,350 One, the, goal of my podcast 1383 00:35:37,350 --> 00:35:38,940 and my consulting business is to 1384 00:35:38,940 --> 00:35:41,355 help create a more, equitable economy, 1385 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,735 one that works for more of us. 1386 00:35:43,108 --> 00:35:44,295 And so I'd love for people to 1387 00:35:44,295 --> 00:35:46,395 share a personal organization who's 1388 00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:48,525 doing work in that space that they'd 1389 00:35:48,525 --> 00:35:50,295 like the audience to find out more about. 1390 00:35:50,642 --> 00:35:52,442 my favorite, I'm on the board of 1391 00:35:52,442 --> 00:35:54,182 something called Nancy's house. 1392 00:35:54,182 --> 00:35:56,762 And Nancy's house breaks the isolation 1393 00:35:57,212 --> 00:35:57,992 of caregiving. 1394 00:35:58,022 --> 00:35:58,257 Mm-hmm. 1395 00:35:58,365 --> 00:36:00,316 And what we do is, although we 1396 00:36:00,321 --> 00:36:02,175 have lots of small programs that 1397 00:36:02,175 --> 00:36:04,210 you can join in through Facebook, 1398 00:36:04,210 --> 00:36:05,500 the Facebook group, just look up 1399 00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:07,540 Nancy's house and you can come in for 1400 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,940 group counseling twice a month. 1401 00:36:10,277 --> 00:36:10,930 That's free. 1402 00:36:10,980 --> 00:36:11,790 we have. 1403 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,097 Our main mission is to break this 1404 00:36:14,097 --> 00:36:16,077 isolation by having retreats that 1405 00:36:16,077 --> 00:36:18,567 are usually three days long, three 1406 00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:21,000 days, two nights in a five star. 1407 00:36:21,608 --> 00:36:23,238 Bed and breakfast where we provide 1408 00:36:23,243 --> 00:36:25,488 counseling, yoga, massages, 1409 00:36:25,742 --> 00:36:26,652 and love it. 1410 00:36:26,657 --> 00:36:28,232 There's only 10 people. 1411 00:36:28,295 --> 00:36:28,572 Mm-hmm. 1412 00:36:28,657 --> 00:36:30,212 So you actually build a, 1413 00:36:30,212 --> 00:36:32,067 community right there of people 1414 00:36:32,067 --> 00:36:33,687 who understand what you're 1415 00:36:33,687 --> 00:36:34,257 going through. 1416 00:36:34,257 --> 00:36:34,317 Yeah. 1417 00:36:34,527 --> 00:36:36,417 it is a wonderful, wonderful 1418 00:36:36,422 --> 00:36:37,257 organization. 1419 00:36:37,377 --> 00:36:37,617 Yeah. 1420 00:36:37,707 --> 00:36:38,097 Oh, that's 1421 00:36:38,097 --> 00:36:38,847 fantastic. 1422 00:36:38,847 --> 00:36:39,717 Thank you for that. 1423 00:36:40,107 --> 00:36:43,107 And so is there something exciting 1424 00:36:43,112 --> 00:36:43,857 happening in your business 1425 00:36:43,857 --> 00:36:44,757 or something new that you'd 1426 00:36:44,757 --> 00:36:45,267 like to tell us 1427 00:36:45,267 --> 00:36:47,107 about or an offer for the audience? 1428 00:36:47,337 --> 00:36:48,027 You like to share? 1429 00:36:48,087 --> 00:36:49,837 Well, I always offer this to 1430 00:36:50,017 --> 00:36:50,887 any audience. 1431 00:36:50,892 --> 00:36:52,597 You can contact me. 1432 00:36:52,647 --> 00:36:53,697 I'm sure we're gonna give you 1433 00:36:53,697 --> 00:36:54,297 it in the notes. 1434 00:36:54,302 --> 00:36:54,927 Yes, everything. 1435 00:36:54,927 --> 00:36:55,887 Share notes, absolutely. 1436 00:36:55,892 --> 00:36:57,957 Kathy dot sikorski gmail.com and I 1437 00:36:57,957 --> 00:36:59,217 will talk to you for half hour 1438 00:36:59,222 --> 00:37:00,687 about anything you wanna talk about. 1439 00:37:00,687 --> 00:37:02,067 We can talk about my earrings, we 1440 00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,387 can talk about caregiving, we 1441 00:37:03,392 --> 00:37:03,897 can talk about. 1442 00:37:04,333 --> 00:37:06,337 But I will talk to you hopefully 1443 00:37:06,337 --> 00:37:07,777 about these important issues. 1444 00:37:07,777 --> 00:37:09,113 If you have any questions, as I 1445 00:37:09,113 --> 00:37:10,073 said, I'm only licensed in 1446 00:37:10,073 --> 00:37:11,483 Pennsylvania, but I can give you some 1447 00:37:11,483 --> 00:37:13,613 general guidance and if any real 1448 00:37:14,093 --> 00:37:15,353 personal questions about caregiving 1449 00:37:15,353 --> 00:37:17,408 or whatever, yes, you get 30 1450 00:37:17,413 --> 00:37:18,428 minutes of my time. 1451 00:37:18,738 --> 00:37:19,128 Wonderful. 1452 00:37:19,128 --> 00:37:19,278 That 1453 00:37:19,278 --> 00:37:19,968 is so generous. 1454 00:37:19,968 --> 00:37:20,568 Thank you. 1455 00:37:20,914 --> 00:37:22,628 And so finally, where can people 1456 00:37:22,628 --> 00:37:23,708 find you in addition to your 1457 00:37:23,713 --> 00:37:25,128 website, which you just, shared? 1458 00:37:25,128 --> 00:37:26,658 Are there other places you hang out 1459 00:37:26,658 --> 00:37:27,738 online that we can 1460 00:37:27,738 --> 00:37:28,008 find? 1461 00:37:28,098 --> 00:37:29,118 Oh gosh, yeah. 1462 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:30,498 Just Google me, honestly. 1463 00:37:30,503 --> 00:37:32,058 I'm like the first four pages 1464 00:37:32,058 --> 00:37:32,898 under my name. 1465 00:37:32,898 --> 00:37:35,478 If you can type Kathy Sikorski, you 1466 00:37:35,478 --> 00:37:37,248 will see everything that I am doing. 1467 00:37:37,248 --> 00:37:38,088 I'm on LinkedIn. 1468 00:37:38,093 --> 00:37:39,588 Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. 1469 00:37:39,588 --> 00:37:41,208 I love connecting with people in. 1470 00:37:41,243 --> 00:37:42,863 All kinds of work on LinkedIn 1471 00:37:42,863 --> 00:37:44,483 because caregiving touches everyone. 1472 00:37:44,619 --> 00:37:46,493 So connect with me on LinkedIn. 1473 00:37:46,623 --> 00:37:48,033 I'm on Amazon for my books. 1474 00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:50,805 so just type in my name again and, 1475 00:37:50,845 --> 00:37:52,525 you will see lots of things that I'm 1476 00:37:52,525 --> 00:37:54,265 doing in terms of writing articles 1477 00:37:54,265 --> 00:37:56,305 for people and on podcasts and, yeah. 1478 00:37:56,666 --> 00:37:56,996 Wonderful. 1479 00:37:56,996 --> 00:37:57,716 I'm everywhere. 1480 00:37:58,046 --> 00:37:58,976 Thank you so much. 1481 00:37:58,976 --> 00:37:59,126 You've 1482 00:37:59,126 --> 00:38:00,326 been incredibly generous with 1483 00:38:00,326 --> 00:38:01,616 your time and your wisdom. 1484 00:38:01,676 --> 00:38:02,606 Much appreciated. 1485 00:38:02,726 --> 00:38:04,556 Erin, thank you so much for having me. 1486 00:38:04,556 --> 00:38:05,996 I think this is such an important 1487 00:38:05,996 --> 00:38:07,946 conversation and I'm so honored that you 1488 00:38:07,946 --> 00:38:09,746 recognize that as well, so I really 1489 00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:11,036 truly appreciate it. 1490 00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:11,953 Thank you.