[00:00:00] Shannon Williams: the first thing I say is invest in yourself. So my life didn't start changing until I started investing in myself and in my business.

[00:00:08] You know, I was stuck at a level, and if that hadn't changed, I would've never went anywhere. So that's number one. Invest in yourself because you're worth it. And you know, I can put on a good face, and I can put on a smile that you can, if you really pay attention, you could probably see through it.

[00:00:29] But what you see now is the real authentic me that has come out because I now have something inside of me that can come out. I don't have to hide it anymore.

[00:00:38] Narrator: Welcome to Why She's Winning with your host, Christy Rutherford, a master of office politics and self-care advocacy. Christy's clients have received over 10 million in salary raises in a pandemic, surprised that women are still getting paid during these challenging times. It's possible for you too.

[00:00:58] You can have it all. If you believe you deserve it, Christy and her guest will assist you with that. Let's get started.

[00:01:06] Christy Rutherford: Welcome everyone to Why She's Winning. I am your host, Christy Rutherford. Today I have the amazing Shannon Williams, who is the owner of 360 Integrity Taxes. Shannon is a tax professional, financial and funding consultant. She has worked with M W R Financial. She was a research administrator at the University of Florida College of Medicine.

[00:01:32] She was also a fiscal assistant at the University of Florida. She went to Santa Fe College. She volunteers her time to causes that she is passionate about. She is a bookkeeping professional. And with her husband, Cardell, they run a very successful business. Welcome Shannon.

[00:01:53] Shannon Williams: Thank you. Thank you. Glad to be here.

[00:01:57] Christy Rutherford: So Shannon, we have a little different story than most of my other clients that I talked to, so I'm excited to get this information for you. And I was really looking forward to this interview before you did the work. Right. I was like, I want to get Shannon on the other side of the way that I met her.

[00:02:21] So what did I say to you to make you choose, like, I wanna tell the story of how this, how this journey unfold. We're in a business mastermind together. So what was that experience for you? You know what I'm asking?

[00:02:38] Shannon Williams: Well, initially, you had approached me and said, because I had this mastermind we were in, I had mentioned that I was having some pain in my body and some past childhood trauma. You said, you know, I can help you. You just need to come work with me and I can help you. And I was very attracted to that at the moment. I was just in a very different place. And so I think it was maybe our next meeting, maybe a couple months later, you said, you know, I can really help you. You are so sad. I need to help you with your sadness.

[00:03:12] So I still hadn't moved on it, and then God intervened and said, you need to call Christy. And He told me every day for a week to call you. And then finally on the final day that I did reach out to you, He told me like, every hour I told you, you need to reach out to Christy.

[00:03:29] So when I finally did, you was like, yep, I knew I was waiting . So yes.

[00:03:35] Christy Rutherford: So. So we're in a business mastermind together with Marquel Russell the Amazing, and Aundrea Gaskin, Client Attraction University. We're in a seven figure mastermind and business coaching is different from personal coaching.

[00:03:48] Shannon Williams: Yeah.

[00:03:49] Christy Rutherford: And what I tell people all the time I've seen people, the more money they make, the crazier they get.

[00:03:56] The more money you make, like a lot of times people think that entrepreneurship is freedom. Entrepreneurship shows you the best of yourself, and it also shows you the worst of yourself. So if you got some stuff that you ain't unpack, oh, it's gonna show up when you trying to get your money. So when you were sitting at the table looking sad and downtrodden,

[00:04:30] I'm sorry, I couldn't say no better than that. You sat at the table, lookin' sad and downtrodden talking about you got some medical issues and I'm looking at you like, you know, I can help you. Right. What was that like for you to have someone. You know, come at you like that because that's my normal, like, anybody who knows me and y'all been following me long enough you know, on this interview, I serve and I know what I do.

[00:04:57] I know my gifting. And it's typically shocking to people when somebody comes at them like that. I just wanna get your perspective on what was that experience like for you?

[00:05:05] Shannon Williams: Well, actually very different because that's never happened to me before. I've never, you know, you have people that can, you know, give you advice or say the Lord told you this, or you know, just give you little snippets of what they went through, which really doesn't really relate to you, but to have someone come with care... I remember you look me directly in my eye and I felt love when you looked at me like, I can really help you and I see what's going on, and this is gonna be a permanent change, that you're not gonna go back.

[00:05:36] So you're gonna change permanently, and it's gonna change you for the rest of your life. And I'd never heard anything like that before, how am I gonna change anything that's gonna change me for the rest of my life? Like how does that even work? And so I felt intrigued. I felt a lot of love coming from you.

[00:05:54] And also I felt like there was an answer there.

[00:06:00] Christy Rutherford: Yeah, people can be manipulative when it comes to people who are broken. They be, Lord told me to help you. No n no, no. You are looking for a sucker. Does that make sense? Like

[00:06:13] Shannon Williams: Yeah.

[00:06:13] Christy Rutherford: And people who are wounded, like, we're all wounded, Shannon, that's the thing, right? Like everybody is either going through something, coming out of something, or going into something.

[00:06:25] And so when, when, when we talked about, you know, because that was that time, right?

[00:06:34] Shannon Williams: Yes.

[00:06:34] Christy Rutherford: Had you outside hemmed you up during the break? Then I went to my room to do whatever, and then the second time, which is a quarter later, and then I said that you were the saddest person I had ever seen. What was that? So, so talk a little bit about that.

[00:06:46] Shannon Williams: Well, at that time I really was sad. I had gone downhill because I had gone through some issues that month. I don't think that was a very good quarter for me at that time. And I was just really looking for answers. And you know, to have someone come at a time when you're looking for answers is, you know, that's refreshing.

[00:07:05] I didn't really realize it at the time because when you're stuck in, you know, the pain of what you're going through at the moment, it's hard to see that, you know, that there can actually be an answer. So I had to, you know, continue to go through what I was going through a little bit more. I was tired of crying.

[00:07:26] I was tired of complaining and just not knowing what to do. I felt like I had no reason to get up in the morning, and then that's when God started speaking to me and telling me that I needed to reach out to you.

[00:07:39] Christy Rutherford: You know, it is interesting. I'm telling you, I couldn't wait to get this interview.

[00:07:43] When I saw you in your stuff and you chose to work with us, I was like, we gonna set Shannon free and she gonna get over here and give us this testimony because you were sad. And I like to mind my business, Shannon. Until I can't take watching women suffer.

[00:07:59] Shannon Williams: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:08:00] Christy Rutherford: Not every quarter.

[00:08:01] I gotta come in and look at you right. And I'm in here, trying to get this business coaching. I'm distracted.

[00:08:13] I've got to say something! Like you were the saddest person I've ever seen and you were like.

[00:08:20] Shannon Williams: And I could not, I always cried. I know it. Every time, sit up, start talking, start crying.

[00:08:26] Christy Rutherford: And then, you know, when you called me, I think like a week later, guys's been telling me to call you. I was like, great. Finally, you know, you ready?

[00:08:35] So what? And I wanna beat this horse, you know, a little bit more, right? Because I talk to a lot of women who are waiting for their lives to get. and they keep thinking that they need to do something before they step into change.

[00:08:52] Shannon Williams: Yes.

[00:08:53] Christy Rutherford: Like I need to do something to change before I go invest in myself to change, and we're trying to do this stuff by ourselves.

[00:09:02] What are your thoughts on that and what advice do you have for women who are crying and who are stuck and then it continues to spiral down and they keep thinking that they need to do something different to walk into the door and look perfect in a group where we're meant to be able to support each other.

[00:09:18] What are your thoughts on that?

[00:09:20] Shannon Williams: So a couple things. You said something at the beginning, you said there's something very different with business coaching than there is with personal coaching, which is very true. I mean that, that mastermind is amazing. We actually work on mindset, but I would get to a level and stop and didn't know where to go.

[00:09:36] And so when I met you, I didn't know what that difference was at the time until I actually got involved. It it kind of reminds me of coming to God. He takes us as we are. We're trying to get perfect and think that we gotta have everything together before he's gonna help us. But all we gotta do is come to him just as we are and he's gonna help fix us because he knows the blueprint of us more than anybody.

[00:09:59] And so I, I kind of relate it to that. You, you, you have to start somewhere. You have to be able to recognize where you are before you can change anything. And that was the thing was I didn't know where I was, didn't know. I knew I needed help, but did I really need help? But can you really help me? A lot of people talk and don't give you results.

[00:10:22] You are so authentic that you do what you say you're gonna do. I mean, your program has blown me away. But that's, that's another story. But that's, You know, you have to, that's the main thing. I just, you have to meet yourself where you are and say, you know what? I'm tired of this. I wanna change. Let me reach out to somebody who can help me do that.

[00:10:44] Somebody who came to me and told me that they can help me, why? Why wouldn't I believe you? So just listen to yourself and get out of, you know, whatever sadness or despair you're in, just to allow the best to come out. That's what I would say to somebody who's searching.

[00:11:01] Christy Rutherford: And I think a part of it, Shannon, is forgiving yourself of being where you are.

[00:11:05] Because a lot of women, we beat ourselves up when we're sad or when we're depressed because we can't believe that somehow we got here. And then it becomes this, you know, piling on of emotions of now guilt, shame, regret, which is stacking onto what you're already going through as opposed to saying, okay, let me move through this pain towards the light, as opposed to getting stuck in.

[00:11:29] Shannon Williams: Yeah, exactly. I totally agree with that.

[00:11:33] Christy Rutherford: So what was, what was surprising to you about the work in the first, you know, week or so, because you changed so fast. What was, what was most surprising to you about yourself as you started to un unpack where you were?

[00:11:46] Shannon Williams: I, it was there, it was all there. I just had to let go. That was what the most surprising thing was, because within two days, can I tell that? . Okay. Within two days of joining your group and getting on the call, I think my first meeting was a Thursday. That Friday I found out that we were gonna get a lump sum of money and we were expecting about $40,000. So what happened to me at that time?

[00:12:11] Scared the crap outta me. Why would money scare the crap outta anybody? Well, I was so stuck in doing everything right and not messing up. That was the first thing I said, do I, what am I gonna do with this money? Am I gonna spend it? Right? I'm behind on things, I gotta get it right. So I, I freaked out and then I didn't know what to do.

[00:12:30] And then I'm like, now I feel bad because I feel guilty about it. I'm not supposed to feel guilty about money. But what took me months to realize is that that 40,000 turned into 27,000 because I was not grateful for it. I didn't realize that I wasn't grateful for the money. I was asking God for things and then taking it back away from him.

[00:12:50] That was getting me nowhere. So I learned that within, not even a week, within the first couple days. So I was like, okay, there's something to this. I, I, I think within maybe four days I actually woke up joyful. I had a reason to be awake. I wasn't dreading my day. I didn't wanna go back to sleep and say, forget it.

[00:13:12] And that changed very, very quickly. So to me that was that was the most refreshing because it just felt good to have a reason to be awake. I hadn't felt that in probably three months prior to that.

[00:13:24] Christy Rutherford: You forgot the part of the story where I snatched your edges out on that money.

[00:13:27] Shannon Williams: That's, well, I wasn't gonna share that part. You know?

[00:13:30] Christy Rutherford: I mean, you might as well. What? Hold up! Hold up!

[00:13:36] God You've been praying to the Lord, bless me, right? God says, okay, after session one boom, hit you in the head with $40,000. And, but women do it, Shannon, that's why I'm telling the story. It's not necessarily like I, I want to be able to share this with, with other women because you're not the only one and we're getting in our own way.

[00:14:03] God gives you what you asked for like that, and then you were like, oh. Oh, S H I T! I'm gonna lose it. Oh, well I'm happy. Well, why am I happy? Well, I shouldn't, oh my God. I shouldn't have let myself get to where I am. Oh, why am I so happy that God gave me money Waaa, and God said, okay, snatch!

[00:14:27] Shannon Williams: Right.

[00:14:28] Christy Rutherford: I'm gonna take,

[00:14:30] Shannon Williams: that's what happened.

[00:14:31] Christy Rutherford: Snatch 12 back cuz you didn't say thank you. Hold up. Thank you. And run for your life. Take that money and run. Don't ask why you deserved it, cuz you, we keep thinking, Shannon, that we need to do something to deserve it. Not counting all the things that we've done in the past, all the times that we've served people in the past, all the times that we've given our intellectual property away, the blessings are stored up and waiting.

[00:14:56] And once one of them hit you in the head , you feel guilty because you're happy about it, and then there becomes this downward spiral. So then long conversation, part of that gets snatched away cuz you didn't give gratitude for it. Then you worry about the 12 that you lost as opposed to 28 that you got,

[00:15:14] Shannon Williams: Right

[00:15:14] Christy Rutherford: so, mm-hmm. . A lot of women are doing this. I mean, men too, but a lot of women are doing this because we're getting stuff and then we feel guilty because we got it, because we thought we needed to do something to get it as opposed to being the person who was able to receive.

[00:15:34] Shannon Williams: Yes. Yeah. I mean it, it was so eye-opening because then after that, I did start being grateful and it did continue to flow.

[00:15:45] One thing I learned from you, was just giving to other people. You give to people and give out of you know, your heart. And that is a way of being able to show gratitude. So I learned so many lessons from that and it's been very life changing. So, you know, I, I needed to be drug a little bit so that I could get it

[00:16:05] I was new to being drug

[00:16:11] Good. It was definitely good.

[00:16:13] Christy Rutherford: So, so, so let's talk about tough love. Let's talk about tough love because a lot of we're, we're so lonely in leadership and bus, you're a business owner, right?

[00:16:23] Shannon Williams: Yes

[00:16:23] Christy Rutherford: But it's still, you're in a leadership capacity and we go hard for everybody, but we don't have a lot of people who can reciprocate but then run into the fire and drag you out and maybe, you know, knock you across the head a little bit depending on how you fight.

[00:16:41] I mean, if you got somebody who's drowning, when the person who comes out to save you while you're drowning, they snatch your arm behind you, so you don't drown them too. Does that make sense? Like they have to put you in a headlock or something to be able to get you to relax a little bit or submit so you can actually be saved.

[00:17:00] So what was that you say, I've never been drug before. What was that? What was that like for you?

[00:17:06] Shannon Williams: Well, it's always, things like that, always scared me. I always wanted to be perfect. I always wanted to be right. I didn't want people to see me mess up. The best way to not do that is to just not tell them and to not allow people to see.

[00:17:23] So I had on this facade, I had on this huge mask where I'm perfect and everybody sees me as perfect and then I can't mess up. And then nobody can say, you know, this is what you did, but then how do you ever get free? And that, that was the main thing I learned. Like if I continue to not put myself out there , I'm just gonna stay miserable.

[00:17:44] I'm never gonna get better. How's God ever gonna bring me to another level if I don't allow myself to go there? Because one thing that I've learned And a huge thing I learned actually this past weekend is you gotta go to a level, go through what you go to, to get up to another level. And that was, so now I've, I've embraced it.

[00:18:04] I'm probably about 50% better. I'm not quite there. I don't think it, it feels good to, you know, be knocked over the head, but it's necessary because how am I gonna get better if I don't? And so I've learned to embrace that just so I can be a better.

[00:18:18] me

[00:18:21] Christy Rutherford: Yeah, it's tough love. It's not criticism and, and the difference between tough love and criticism is if I say something to you to make you feel some type of way, so I get joy for my benefit, that's criticism. But if I say something to you, which is, is not necessarily pain for me, but it's painful to be dragging y'all. I, I like to be enjoying drink my coffee and live on the beach. I ain't got time to be yelling at y'all. I don't wanna run in the fire and come and get y'all, but it's for your benefit.

[00:18:51] Does that make sense? That's tough love.

[00:18:53] Shannon Williams: Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Yes.

[00:18:54] Christy Rutherford: So, so, so perfection, which I say all the time, perfection is trauma. Perfection is traumatic, because what perfection really is, and, and the pursuit of being perfect is really trying to hide all your brokenness. Yeah. Hoping that people don't see it.

[00:19:15] Shannon Williams: Ooh, that's good.

[00:19:18] Christy Rutherford: They see it . They, they see it. So what's been the difference, I would say, you know, middle right? Like the difference between your energy from where you were when you started to where you are right now?

[00:19:33] Well, Christy, it took me, I guess it

[00:19:36] Shannon Williams: took me about maybe a month to figure out, one of the first questions you asked us in one of our first assignments is, what makes you happy?

[00:19:45] That seems like a very simple question. You should be able to say What makes you happy? Well, let me tell you, I could not answer that question for about a month. I was so confused. I was like, do I have happiness? What makes me happy? I like doing certain things, but you know, that's not that overall joy that you're not, when something happens, you're not rocked or moved by it.

[00:20:07] That's not true joy, that's not true happiness by this, these surfacey things. So it actually took me going through Covid to actually get a glimpse of what my joy really was. And will you say one thing once you reach that level of joy anything below that doesn't meet that standard. And so I think that's the biggest thing is that I just learned how to not allow the circumstances of life that get in the way sometimes to move me, but to just have joy no matter what.

[00:20:44] And to always strive for that happiness, not to really allow, you know, what may be going on or may, what may not seem to be the best circumstance to be, what moves you for that day or for that week. So I think that's the biggest thing I've learned. Having joy in meditating. I had never meditated before this before, actually.

[00:21:06] I had heard that that wasn't something that you should do. And so I grew up as a child thinking that that was wrong. As you know, as a Christian, you're not supposed to meditate. I never even understood that. But being open to, I know it, it's calming your mind. So why wouldn't that be good? But you know, just learning to not listen to all the things that I had just been told, just, and just do them because somebody told me to.

[00:21:31] But j just to find out what was best for me to be able to bring me to a different level. It's just, It's been life changing. It's been very refreshing, and I feel like I can breathe again.

[00:21:48] Christy Rutherford: All right, now for a commercial break.

[00:21:54] I gotta get mad at doing a crush breaks, cuz I like to stay in the story. But if y'all want to join and get these live interviews, it's gonna be cut off after this point. You can join us in total fulfillment with Christy. Go to tfwChristy.com. Join Total Fulfillment with Christy, where I have courses, interviews, resume courses, how to get your value. Actually, next week we're gonna be talking about how to negotiate your salary. So join us at Total Fulfillment with Christy tfwChristy.com. It's only $4.97. Can't wait to see you. All right, back to our regularly scheduled program.

[00:22:28] So Shannon, let's talk about, and I and I talked about it at the event and I was thinking about it this morning.

[00:22:38] Moms, how has the relationship with your children changed? Right. Because broken mamas can't produce whole children, period. It's impossible! A broken mama goes too far and too hard to make sure her kids aren't broken. Brokenness, can't produce wholeness. What are your thoughts on that since you a mama? Because I can easily say, and I don't have no children, the Lord blessed me with no children, but I'm a great aunt.

[00:23:06] But what are your thoughts on that since you're on the other side of yourself?

[00:23:11] Shannon Williams: There's a hundred percent truth in that you can't, you know, give out what you don't have. And I can... my oldest is she's 27. My oldest daughter's 27 years old. My baby just turned 18. And so I'm a very different mom from when I was, when I mothered my older daughter compared to where my child is now. And I can even say that from a year ago, how different it is even, you know, when I just did this program, what has it been, six or seven months ago? So I was a yeller. My mom yelled at me, could never do anything right. I was very critical. I don't have a great relationship with my older children now because I was a mean mom.

[00:23:52] I was not understanding and I was not loving. I thought that I was, because I was trying to make them a better person by being on top of them, but it just made them run for me and not wanna have a relationship. And so when my two older children moved out, I decided with my two younger ones, I felt like I was being a mom all over again. That I needed to change my relationship.

[00:24:14] But then I went to the other extreme and then I let them get away with everything and do everything and you know, so I was, you know, I didn't have that balance. I, I, you know, I, I wasn't yelling as much but I still didn't have the groundwork and I still didn't have the confidence in myself to be a good mom.

[00:24:30] And so now I can say my, my last one's at home, he just graduated from high school, and we have the best relationship. We talk about things, we share things. If he's going through struggles, he actually comes and talks to me about it, and I've had the, so this brings me the biggest joy, Christy, the biggest joy.

[00:24:51] I taught my 18 year old son how to tap. And he is a whole new person. So when he goes through things, he goes, he goes through struggles, you know, I, I take him to that situation. I show him how to tap, what to say, what to do, and then he'll say to me, you know what, mom, that's really working, but this is the kicker.

[00:25:10] I was having a little situation last week and, you know, I was stressing out a little bit and he came and he sat down and looked at me. He said, "mom, did you tap that up?" I was like, I love it. Okay, well, lesson learned. So, there you go.

[00:25:29] Christy Rutherford: You know, it is interesting because we have, as you're, cuz you're freshly out of the program.

[00:25:34] Like you're, you're still fresh, you like wet behind the ear. But a lot of my clients have reconciled the relationship with their kids. It takes time. Right. So it's, I I want to one, acknowledge it's the, the brokenness. A broken mama can't produce a broken child no matter how hard you work, because typically we're broken by our parent.

[00:25:58] Does, does that make sense?

[00:26:01] Shannon Williams: Yes.

[00:26:01] Christy Rutherford: And so the, the cycle continues and there has to be a point where women say, well, I can't do it because I have kids. I'm like, no, you should do it because you have kids because you're, you're, you, you saw what you didn't want in in the first set. Right. And you're like, oh, okay, I'm not gonna be mean.

[00:26:17] Then you become this passive, get away with everything and they wonder why they're running over you. And it's because you're not, you're not whole in the middle of, this is what I know produces whole kiss. And that's tapping. So a part of I would say your process as you're moving along, it's, it you'll develop that relationship that you want because they, they're going to see who you are.

[00:26:39] Kids don't do what you say they do what you do. And I'm just coach you on the line, so I'm gonna get off that forehead, but it's, it's one, one of, one of my clients, and I'm gonna bring her on, but her daughter was, you know, making t-shirts and living with her and all this, it was insane. And then I said, don't focus on your daughter.

[00:27:01] Focus on yourself. Like, like she'll watch you. And she ended up becoming about six months later, the senior graphic artist at a, at a very prestigious university and her daughter, she was trying to get her to sell some T-shirts. Then she became the senior graphic artist at a prestigious university within a year and actually made more money than her mom.

[00:27:21] Shannon Williams: Wow.

[00:27:21] Christy Rutherford: Not because her mom focused on the daughter to try to fix and shattered pieces. As she shattered, she actually focused on herself and her daughter saw that and then started to emulate what she saw, not what her mom. Okay. So where do I wanna go? Keisha's, giving you a shout out. The evolution of motherhood, feeling Your healing.

[00:27:44] So when, when, when we talked about, and I said it at the event last week, that if you're not striving for happiness, you're gonna stay stuck in regret.

[00:27:54] Shannon Williams: Yes.

[00:27:56] Christy Rutherford: What, what is your happiness routine like? Like what are you doing? to move forward because happiness and joy are forward moving energies. And if you're not doing something, you're not stuck, you're going backwards, right?

[00:28:11] Like, either you're gonna strive for this good energy or you're going to lapse back into misery. So what is your, what advice can you give women you know, one or two things that you're doing to be able to move forward into joy and harmony?

[00:28:25] Shannon Williams: So that is really good because I had. So I, I'm, I'm, I'm a tax professional.

[00:28:32] I've been doing taxes for 23 years. So when tax season comes, I get a little stuck in that. So I had some days where I was 16, 20 hour days, five, six days in a row. So I kind of, you know, Slacked off of what I was supposed to be doing to care for myself. And then when I was done, just gimme a break.

[00:28:50] Don't let me talk to nobody. And then that break ended up extending a little longer than you know, I needed to. So it was a little hard to get back in. So what I learned from coming from not doing anything to take care of myself, to learning that this is what happens when you pull back away, it's very important.

[00:29:08] So I've learned that meditation is a lifesaver. It really is because, you know, I couldn't understand it. Like, how is this helping me? How is this helping me be a better person? But being able to just slow down and you know, just get inside of myself has been really huge. It showed me crazy enough, it showed me who I am because I did not have a lot of, like, my husband is great with believing in me and having confidence. People tell me, you know, that I have a lot of greatness about me, but I didn't believe it about myself. And so until I started doing that and you know, just making the steps to not get stuck, but to say I'm changing my mindset. So if I'm thinking of something negative, to change it to the result of the positive that I wanna see and that I wanna be, makes a huge difference.

[00:30:02] For years, let me tell you, for years my husband tried to get me to listen to podcasts and positive speaking. I didn't start until I started with you, coaching with you, Christy. You know, he, he then he was like, I knew you were gonna come around one day. But just being able to, you know, Abraham Hicks is the bomb.

[00:30:21] I love listening to Abraham Hicks and, you know, Miles Monroe and just things that I had heard before, but never taken the time to be able to listen. I would get bored so easily. I wasn't, you know, I was, my mind was off going someplace else, but meditating is what helped me be able to be able to hear what they were saying and not have my mind go off someplace else.

[00:30:42] So it's worked. Everything works in multiple ways to be able to overcome those past things that I had struggles with. You know, just staying consistent, staying consistent, and speaking affirmations over myself, what I'm believing for has just made milestones in my life in a very short period of time.

[00:31:04] Christy Rutherford: How has your relationship changed with your husband from, from then to now? I'm all up in your business. You don't have to say what you don't wanna say, but, but you. It, it's changed. Just give us

[00:31:14] Shannon Williams: Yeah,

[00:31:15] Christy Rutherford: whatever, whatever the public perception, whatever you wanna say. How has that changed?

[00:31:20] Shannon Williams: It has changed miraculously, so we are better friends than what we used to be.

[00:31:26] One of the things I can say that was one of the hardest things that you've said to me that it took a while for me to absorb was you have to be your own, self you have to stop relying on your husband so much and learn how to be confident in you and not wait for him to tell you that you're great. Know that you're great, you know, spend some time with yourself and just recognize the things and stop leaning so much on him.

[00:31:54] So that was very difficult for me because I'll be honest with you. I hid behind him for a very long time and you know, he told me I was great and so I let him say it. And, you know, if, if he wanted to put me out there, I'd let him put me out there. But I wouldn't do those kinds of things for myself. And if, if there was something that I didn't wanna do, I knew that he would do it.

[00:32:16] So I would hide behind it. Even in our. business You know, I, there's certain things that I'm not great at, but instead of putting myself out there, I would just allow him to do it. So that's been a huge thing. It's just stepping out and being the great person that God has created me to be, who I know that I am, the confidence that I have in myself that I didn't have before.

[00:32:36] I know I offer something great to people, but I just never came out and said that before and recognized it. So that's, one huge thing. But you know, everything about our relationship has changed. Our conversations, our arguments, we used to argue almost every day because we're both stubborn people, and we were both right and no one was gonna relentless.

[00:32:58] That's changed. And yes, Christy Tuesdays at 10 do exist, and I know he is listening and clapping right now.

[00:33:11] But I just, I, I've learned to appreciate me and be happy in me, but then also that brings so much more enhancement to my marriage and to my relationship with him because when I'm confident in myself and I believe in myself, he's more attracted to me and loves me all the more. So with my kids and my husband, I tell you this.

[00:33:33] I didn't realize that it could be this good. So

[00:33:39] Christy Rutherford: Leander said, "Hey, Tuesday at ten!"

[00:33:45] Dego Cardell is listening on the YouTube. So let's talk about the a imposter syndrome. Okay. Because you, you've almost wrapped it up. It's, people can see how great you are. You don't see how great you are because you're not taking care of yourself. Your husband's telling you you're great. You're, you're standing behind him like, yeah, I'm great.

[00:34:07] I want you to bring me out on the platform, but you're not gonna say it because you don't really believe it, because you're not taking care of yourself. And, and really the greatest tip that you gave is free. You said, "I meditate." There you go. Look so what are your, you know, you know how people in, in corporate, I always say corporate has a language of limitations. People say something and they do a study and everybody, you know, latches onto it. What are your thoughts about the imposter syndrome and I guess, yeah, I'm just going to open it. I'm just gonna open it up right now.

[00:34:40] What are your thoughts on that?

[00:34:42] Shannon Williams: So this was kind of, it, it was kind of interesting. We were actually on the drive back from Atlanta the other day. We were talking about this. We were listening to what is her name, ma? , I can't think of her name right now. I'll mess it up. I just know her first name is Mary.

[00:34:55] But she was talking about abundance and the, the things that people get stuck of what they don't release out of their mind for abundance. And one of them was talking about what people are gonna think about you. And you even talked about that this weekend, that a lot of people don't allow their abundance to come cuz they don't want their cousins to know that they're making money because then they're gonna come asking for something.

[00:35:15] So for me it was, I'm gonna get found out. I don't know a hundred percent about, okay, so I've been doing taxes for 23 years. The tax laws always change, but when people come to you to do taxes, they want you to have the answer. They don't wanna hear why I gotta go find that information. But there's no way that the tax laws are in your brain for all the changes and everything that happened.

[00:35:39] So I used to be like, oh, people are gonna find me out. They're not gonna, they're gonna realize that I really don't know a hundred percent of what they expect me to. know Well, who does though? Who does? That's okay. As long as you go find the information to be the best that you can be, to be able to help their client the best that you can, that's what matters.

[00:36:00] But I was hiding behind that. I was so afraid. I was so petrified of what people thought about me, Christy that I wasn't able to be free and move and do anything because I, since I wasn't confident in myself, why should they be confident in me. And that is the biggest lesson that I can say that I have gotten since working with you is that it's okay to be who I am because I am great.

[00:36:28] And to be able to say that I used to be afraid to say that because I didn't feel like they're gonna realize that that's not true. But it is true because I have greatness in me and I've been doing this, this, this, this field for 23 years. Why wouldn't I be good in it if I wasn't, then what am I doing, doing it?

[00:36:48] Christy Rutherford: Woo. Go. Shannon

[00:36:54] All right. Mary Morrisey is what?

[00:36:56] Shannon Williams: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[00:36:58] Christy Rutherford: He he got your back. He got you back. So two more questions. What are your thoughts about the other women that you built a relationship with? Because we're so lonely as leaders, lonely baby. You know? And there's so much toxicity you know, not with, you know, not only just within ourselves, right?

[00:37:21] Like, you know, always say you can't, you can't see the Karen if you are the Karen. And if we're toxic, we attract toxic women. And it's hard to have healthy relationships when you're broken. So we're a part of the challenge, but what was surprising to you when you started working with this, working within this group of women? Because we only talked to seven people.

[00:37:43] We ain't talking to a hundred people, but people wanna talk to me one-on-one, and I'm like, no, it's, it's, the group is where it's at. I don't do one-on-one anymore, not because it's not of, not for me. It's just not time effective, but there's so much magic in community. What are your thoughts on that?

[00:38:00] Shannon Williams: So I didn't have a lot of friends because, had a lot of hurt in my life.

[00:38:05] A lot of people, you know, just kind of betrayed me or they weren't who I expected them to be. But what I also learned in that was I wasn't who everything that I needed to be to other people either. And, you know, that could go in a vicious cycle. So I backed away and I didn't have anybody in my life.

[00:38:24] And you know, and if I did it was just very surfacey. My my best friend that lives in New York, we've been best friends for 18 years, and she just loves me for who I am and supports me no matter what. But I didn't have a lot of people like that in my life. One of the, the, the homeworks that we did at the beginning was recognizing the people in your life.

[00:38:44] Do they take from you, do they give to you? Are they your cheerleader? And I only had maybe two people that were my cheerleader. I was okay with that because I don't have a lot of negativity in my life. I don't have people taken from me telling me that I'm not great. I don't have a lot of, I, I don't have anybody in my life because if they were there, I've dismissed them.

[00:39:04] They're no longer there. One of the things that you talked about this weekend was being humble, lowercase, being humble, uppercase, and the friends that you have in your life, and the people that you even had that were there this weekend that supported you and loved you. I was like, wow, that is possible to have people in your life like that, that have your back, that just support you.

[00:39:29] And so it made me look back and go, you know, are my people that I have two people. That love me dearly, and they congratulate me. They pray for me, they lift me up. They tell me that I'm great. They tell me I can do anything that I wanna do, and I never had that prior to this. But to be able to have people like that in your life is, where you wanna take those people with you, because I know I'm going up, I know I'm going higher.

[00:39:59] I know God has big plans for me. I know I'm gonna make millions and billions of dollars and I wanna take those people with me and they're here to support me now. And I know that I'll be able to go another level with them and I want to. Those other people, I didn't wanna bring them anywhere with me, but my crew that I have now, I love 'em dearly.

[00:40:18] Christy Rutherford: So are, are the women in this group or are they, are they your other friends? I'm just trying to be clear so I can, cuz there's a lesson in both of them. But go ahead.

[00:40:25] Shannon Williams: So my, they're my other friends.

[00:40:27] Christy Rutherford: Yeah.

[00:40:27] Shannon Williams: I didn't really know anybody in this group until this weekend.

[00:40:30] Christy Rutherford: Oh, okay.

[00:40:30] Shannon Williams: And I was able to connect with some women that are like-minded just as positive.

[00:40:38] They see me the same as I see them. And to be in a, in a, in a group like that of women, I think there was like 40 or 50 women there.

[00:40:45] Christy Rutherford: Mm-hmm.

[00:40:46] Shannon Williams: and, and everybody like-minded. That... You just don't that. Well, for me personally, I had never seen that. And so to be able to connect like that, I'll call out to Rayna. Me and Rayna, we sat next to each other the whole weekend.

[00:40:59] She's amazing. I love her.

[00:41:00] Christy Rutherford: Yeah.

[00:41:00] Shannon Williams: And I, I, I just the conversations that we had, she really cared about what I was saying.

[00:41:06] Christy Rutherford: Yeah.

[00:41:06] Shannon Williams: And you just don't find people that do that all the time. So that was, that amazing.

[00:41:11] Christy Rutherford: Yeah. So there's lesson in both, right? So you have the you, you have the community that we're growing and that we're building of like-minded women who are healthy and whole.

[00:41:20] Nobody's chest bumping. People not in there telling you, this is what I do, this, I'm the vice president of blah, blah, blah. They say My name is such and such. Okay. Right now. Rayna, what up do!

[00:41:32] Shannon Williams: Love you? Rayna.

[00:41:34] Christy Rutherford: Amazing, amazing. Rayna assists women with shifting from their jobs and into entrepreneurship.

[00:41:39] So if you wanna do that, that's who you call. So, I, I was talking to someone yesterday and we're talking about friendship and it is actually a guy and, and he started talking about letting some people go because he was in the room as well. And being around a lot of people who aren't necessarily supportive of where you are and where you want to be and supporting your dreams.

[00:42:06] So he started to let some people go. Then the new people can come. So I said, you got the new people because you made room for the new people as you let the old people go. So that's why I asked the question cuz it can go both ways. Does that make sense? Where

[00:42:21] Shannon Williams: Yes,

[00:42:21] Christy Rutherford: you either, you let people go so you can allow new people to come in who are gonna support you, or you already had those friendships, but you didn't necessarily see and appreciate how great they were until your fog was lifted. That's your, that's a part of where your journey.

[00:42:43] Shannon Williams: Yes, yes. Because even my, my friendship with my friend, who I've had for 18 years has changed.

[00:42:51] Christy Rutherford: Mm-hmm.

[00:42:51] Shannon Williams: You know, it's, it's evolved into something greater because she does see who I am and so she supports me in a different way of where I am now, where before you know, we just used to talk about nothing. Now we have something of purpose to talk about.

[00:43:05] Christy Rutherford: Amen. Either you on my phone, we talking about where we going or we ain't talking. Be like, what? Why? Why we on this phone, we're just complaining. We're sharing, we're sharing trauma. We're sharing who had the worst day, right?

[00:43:16] Like a lot of friendships are built on trauma. They're not built on testimonies. Y'all better hashtag tagged that I keep, I keep moving the. . All right, last question. If there were some women who were considering working with us and they were on the fence, so they was like, I don't know, I don't know.

[00:43:35] Shannon. Yes, she's smiling. I don't know. I don't know if she was really that sad. I don't know if it really works. What is your advice to, to women with regards to I, if they wanted to work with Vision Find International?

[00:43:48] Shannon Williams: Well, the first thing I say is invest in yourself. So my life didn't start changing until, I started investing in myself and in my business.

[00:43:56] You know, I was stuck at a level. And if that hadn't changed, I would've never went anywhere. So that's number one. Invest in yourself because you're worth it. And you know, I can put on a good face and, I can put on a smile that you can, if you really pay attention, you could probably see through it.

[00:44:17] But what you see now is the real authentic me that has come out because I now have something inside of me that can come out. I don't have to hide it anymore. And you know, just if, if, if you have any lack in your life whether it's, you know, friendship, financial, you know, job, just feeling like you, you know, you're not where you need to be.

[00:44:41] You know, there's more for you in life then Christy can help you get there because when I say she's the real deal, she truly is because I didn't even know what I didn't know. I didn't know what I, what I needed to know, and she helped me to be able to figure that out. So that was the number one thing for me.

[00:44:59] But now I know. So you told a story the other day that was very touching, and you talked about when you were taking a flight, landed in The Bahamas and a chain had broke, I think, on the plane, and you were like, okay, this is it. All right. Am I good? Am I good? God, have I done everything that you've asked me to be?

[00:45:19] And have, am I, am I just at peace? And you said, yes, I am. Because even though you hadn't done everything up until this point, you know that God had used you to that point. And so I, I asked myself that question, am I good? Am I happy? Did have I done everything that God's called me to be? No, not yet. But you know what?

[00:45:40] I'm happy with the choices that I've made. I'm happy where I am now. I know that my family and my kids are better off because of what I have gone through in this program. So to me that was worth everything. So I'm good. If today was my last day, I'm good, but I know it's not. And so I know I got so much more to do and God's gonna do some amazing things and I'm ready for it because I'm ready to go another level.

[00:46:09] Christy Rutherford: You know before we wrap up, Shannon, one, I'm so proud of you. Two thank you for believing me when I said, you know, I can help you, right? One more help. You're like this, you know, and help you. And the thing about it is, it is not just in the business, but it's , your total life has changed. Your health has changed.

[00:46:31] You look completely different, right? Your family has changed. The relationship with your husband has changed. The relationship with your children have changed, and your business has started to become more prosperous. So I mean, it's, we have done all of the work as women. We've checked all of the boxes and we've done all the things that people said that we should do to be happy, and we get all these things and we're miserable.

[00:46:56] Shannon Williams: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:56] Christy Rutherford: And so I, I, I told you, Shannon, you have everything. Like I told all the women, y'all have everything. It's just not, it's just not in alignment to be able to give you the unicorn riding star power energy that you, that you're looking for. You have everything. We didn't go outside of you to do anything.

[00:47:14] Everything was within you.

[00:47:16] Shannon Williams: Right. That's definitely the truth. Definitely true. And thank you for telling me that. Thank you for loving me enough to approach me to say I see something great in you and I can help.

[00:47:29] Christy Rutherford: Mm-hmm.

[00:47:29] Shannon Williams: Thank you for that.

[00:47:31] Christy Rutherford: You're welcome. Because I don't, I don't talk to everybody, you know I'm, but alright everyone, I will see y'all in a few weeks.

[00:47:39] Take care. Thank you, Shannon. Don't hang up. God bless. Take care of y'all.

[00:47:43] Narrator: Thank you for joining us. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a review. If you love this episode. Follow Christy on Instagram and LinkedIn, and don't forget to get her free gift by texting CHANGENOW all one word again, CHANGENOW to 6 6 8 6 6. Until next time, go out and win bigger.