1
00:00:02,855 --> 00:00:05,711
>> Anthony Weaver: Welcome back everybody to another exciting

2
00:00:05,783 --> 00:00:08,615
show, the about that Wallet, the podcast where we

3
00:00:08,695 --> 00:00:11,631
help you build strong financial habits so that you can be

4
00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:14,551
successful and build that confidence and spending

5
00:00:14,583 --> 00:00:17,463
money, talking about money, uh, or even dating

6
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:20,071
with money. So that's one of the topics that we're talking about today

7
00:00:20,143 --> 00:00:22,983
is how to date and it's modern era

8
00:00:23,119 --> 00:00:25,351
with these apps and all this fun stuff.

9
00:00:25,543 --> 00:00:28,147
But we got to get this going, you guys.

10
00:00:28,211 --> 00:00:30,795
So without further ado, let's get this

11
00:00:30,835 --> 00:00:33,747
intro and then we't kick it off. Let's

12
00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:34,335
go.

13
00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:40,907
You're listening to the about that Wal podcast.

14
00:00:41,011 --> 00:00:43,215
Will be right back after these messages.

15
00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:49,415
Oh, that's my short one.

16
00:00:51,555 --> 00:00:54,175
I'll be right back. Hold let me find my right one

17
00:00:58,565 --> 00:01:01,317
your're listening to the about that Wally podcast.

18
00:01:01,421 --> 00:01:03,625
Will be right back after these messages.

19
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,293
Low credit score dragging uh, score bo by

20
00:01:09,349 --> 00:01:12,093
smart credit helps you maximize your

21
00:01:12,149 --> 00:01:15,077
score by showing you exactly how much you need to pay

22
00:01:15,101 --> 00:01:17,765
off and by which d to gain the most

23
00:01:17,805 --> 00:01:20,605
points. Pay less and gain the most points the

24
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,637
fastest. You can start just for $1. Click

25
00:01:23,661 --> 00:01:26,337
the link in the bio. Save thousands, don't

26
00:01:26,361 --> 00:01:26,925
wait.

27
00:01:27,265 --> 00:01:30,113
>> De Dee Patterson: Even the best and the brightest this world has to

28
00:01:30,169 --> 00:01:33,001
offer. Have coaches and mentors build strong

29
00:01:33,073 --> 00:01:35,657
money making behaviors by applying financial

30
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,561
concepts and strategies. With Anthony Weaver

31
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:41,537
on the about that Wallace show, it's time to get

32
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:44,297
off the bench and get in the game now.

33
00:01:44,401 --> 00:01:46,805
Here's your host, Anthony Weaver.

34
00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,833
>> Anthony Weaver: Welcome. So we have an

35
00:01:51,889 --> 00:01:54,873
exciting show today. We have so many people on

36
00:01:54,889 --> 00:01:57,575
this panel. Um, I'm actually

37
00:01:57,615 --> 00:02:00,471
excited about all of this greatness and it's

38
00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:03,503
a lot of femininity in here, but I'mnn hold it

39
00:02:03,519 --> 00:02:06,223
down for the fellas. It's all right though. We go and get it

40
00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:09,239
in. So I want you all just to kind of give

41
00:02:09,327 --> 00:02:12,215
quick rundown your name, uh, your

42
00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:15,191
at so people would know who you were to follow you

43
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:18,295
and then you know, just kind of quick one or two

44
00:02:18,335 --> 00:02:21,071
sentence spel about what you're all about. So let's

45
00:02:21,103 --> 00:02:24,063
go, let's go right to the top. Hey, let's go. Start with Joy.

46
00:02:24,119 --> 00:02:25,155
How you doing, Joy?

47
00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:28,235
>> Joy Coffee: Hello everyone. I am Joy Coffee Withee Joy talk show

48
00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:31,227
podcast. You can find me at Coffee with Joy across everything, of

49
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:32,803
course, my website, the

50
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,603
coffeewoodjoyow.com if you like to be a

51
00:02:35,619 --> 00:02:38,235
guest. We're always looking for guests where we normalize the difficult

52
00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:40,787
conversations. So excited to see everyone. So excited to hear

53
00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:43,395
everyone. Looking forward to your message. Until then,

54
00:02:43,515 --> 00:02:45,175
we'love to have you on our show.

55
00:02:46,715 --> 00:02:48,295
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, Rahema.

56
00:02:48,755 --> 00:02:51,283
>> Raima Carpenter: Hi, Rahema Carpenter. I'M a personal and leadership

57
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,141
coach. Instagram, uh, mohawks and

58
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:57,077
pearls. And, uh, I help people to

59
00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:59,450
achieve their personal, uh,

60
00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:02,230
professional goals. And I, uh,

61
00:03:02,421 --> 00:03:05,157
look forward because I want to go and have coffee with Joy.

62
00:03:05,221 --> 00:03:06,225
>> De Dee Patterson: So that sounds like.

63
00:03:07,805 --> 00:03:09,425
>> Anthony Weaver: All right. Thanks. De.

64
00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:12,890
>> De Dee Patterson: Hello, I'm De Dee Patterson, and I'm,

65
00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:15,757
ah, a dating and relationship coach. So I've

66
00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:18,717
been happily married for 14 years. I

67
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,715
love being married and I met

68
00:03:21,755 --> 00:03:24,579
my husband on a dating app. And

69
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:27,499
so I like to leverage dating apps to help women

70
00:03:27,587 --> 00:03:30,403
find the love of their life. And the best

71
00:03:30,499 --> 00:03:33,315
place to find me is in my Love and Dating

72
00:03:33,395 --> 00:03:36,171
Secrets Facebook group on Instagram.

73
00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:39,163
You can find me Edee Patterson with a zero

74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,059
because someone took the O in my name,

75
00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:44,795
so it's a zero. And you can find me on Instagram,

76
00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:45,415
too.

77
00:03:45,955 --> 00:03:47,495
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, Nia.

78
00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,265
>> Nia Adams: Hey, Dr. Seif.

79
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,725
Um, I'm Nia Adams, the Money

80
00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:56,677
Moves motivator. You can find me

81
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,741
at Money Perspectives Everywhere. Feel free

82
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,745
to like and subscribe on YouTube.

83
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,125
Um, I help women overcome money

84
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,125
mistakes and transform their spending habits to achieve

85
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:08,785
wealth.

86
00:04:10,165 --> 00:04:13,105
>> Anthony Weaver: You're very modest. Like, you do so much more.

87
00:04:14,325 --> 00:04:15,741
>> Nia Adams: I don't want to call forever.

88
00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:17,905
>> Anthony Weaver: I got you. What's going Free?

89
00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:21,333
>> Free Green: Hello, beautiful people. My name is Free Green. I'm the

90
00:04:21,349 --> 00:04:24,061
CEO and founder of Gay Street Society. We are

91
00:04:24,093 --> 00:04:26,973
your financial safe space, helping you develop

92
00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:29,597
clarity, confidence as it pertains to your

93
00:04:29,621 --> 00:04:30,185
money.

94
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:31,320
>> J. Steven: All.

95
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,100
>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, right. All right. And, um,

96
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,917
last but not least, gotta always give you your ad horns

97
00:04:36,981 --> 00:04:39,557
because you. You always get on me for not giving you

98
00:04:39,581 --> 00:04:40,145
those.

99
00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:45,305
>> J. Steven: I really like Air Horse, y'all. They get me hype.

100
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,859
Um, something to do with growing up as a millennial and,

101
00:04:48,907 --> 00:04:51,335
like, the sound. We were here in the club.

102
00:04:51,635 --> 00:04:54,635
I am J. Steven, founder of Rich Like

103
00:04:54,675 --> 00:04:57,395
My Melanin, where we transform complex

104
00:04:57,515 --> 00:05:00,055
financial topics into easy and actionable plans.

105
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,027
I am going to put it out here very front

106
00:05:03,131 --> 00:05:06,067
upfn. Please don't expect me to be the dating

107
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:09,067
expert. I have a program

108
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:11,575
I teach called no Romance Without Finance.

109
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,549
Um, and it teaches principles on

110
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:17,433
how to have healthy money conversations

111
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,593
in relationships. But, like, don't expect me to tell you

112
00:05:20,609 --> 00:05:23,361
how to date, because if I had those answers, like,

113
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:26,353
I'm just putting myself out there today. But I can tell you

114
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:29,017
what to do once you get to the point of, you know, actually

115
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,929
wanting to build good foundation financially for your

116
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:32,765
relationship.

117
00:05:33,665 --> 00:05:36,081
>> Anthony Weaver: Awesome. And I think that's everybody,

118
00:05:36,113 --> 00:05:36,685
right?

119
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,285
Sweet.

120
00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:42,695
All right, so, uh, I really wanted to talk about

121
00:05:42,735 --> 00:05:45,687
this topic, uh, mostly and pretty much

122
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:48,567
put this panel together, mostly because a lot

123
00:05:48,591 --> 00:05:51,567
of people talk about these first Dates. And

124
00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:54,463
some people are just getting out of the dating game or getting back

125
00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:57,390
into the dating game. And this stuff is, uh,

126
00:05:57,735 --> 00:06:00,115
it's not easy from what I hear.

127
00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:03,383
And so my first

128
00:06:03,439 --> 00:06:06,423
question is that I put up, even though my social media page

129
00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:09,119
is should guys

130
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,275
pay on the first date?

131
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:14,475
>> De Dee Patterson: I'm going to answer.

132
00:06:15,935 --> 00:06:18,631
So I believe that the guy should

133
00:06:18,663 --> 00:06:21,527
pay. Even if the woman acts I. He should just

134
00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:24,231
start off the right foot where the guy should pay.

135
00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:26,959
But I tell the women that I coach

136
00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:29,735
that don't. You don't have to order a stake.

137
00:06:29,895 --> 00:06:32,703
Be nice, because you probably won't get a second day if you

138
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:35,211
ordered the highest thing on the menu.

139
00:06:35,403 --> 00:06:38,139
So, yes, I believe the guy should

140
00:06:38,187 --> 00:06:41,011
pay. Don't go Dutch. Let

141
00:06:41,043 --> 00:06:43,875
him be like the provider for the first date. Probably like third

142
00:06:43,915 --> 00:06:46,739
or fourth date in, um, the woman can pay back

143
00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:49,795
and, um, take him out. But I do believe that guy

144
00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:49,987
should.

145
00:06:50,011 --> 00:06:51,095
>> Raima Carpenter: Pay on the first date.

146
00:06:52,755 --> 00:06:53,855
>> Anthony Weaver: Anybody else?

147
00:06:54,795 --> 00:06:57,627
>> Free Green: So let me add on to that. There's a kind

148
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,211
of philosophy that I live by. I'm not a dating

149
00:07:00,283 --> 00:07:03,231
coach, by no means. I'm just a single

150
00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:05,895
woman out here, you know, trying to find my partner and find

151
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:08,663
love. But one of the principles that I kind

152
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:11,591
of just use as a guide is similar

153
00:07:11,663 --> 00:07:14,647
to when those folks that are working in

154
00:07:14,671 --> 00:07:17,655
corporate America or when you go to, like, a team dinner

155
00:07:17,695 --> 00:07:20,519
with your work and there is maybe a partner or

156
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,487
director or SVP paying for the dinner, you

157
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:26,431
kind of leverage what that person

158
00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:29,507
selects. So, for example, if they say, hey, I'm, um, about

159
00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:32,211
to get the table wine, like, okay, we have in wine,

160
00:07:32,283 --> 00:07:35,131
right? You kind of use, um, the

161
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,059
gentleman or the lady or significant

162
00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:40,955
other person you're going on a date with as what are they getting?

163
00:07:41,035 --> 00:07:43,987
You know, is it salad? Okay, what might do a salad, right?

164
00:07:44,011 --> 00:07:46,931
Or are we doing surfing turf? Okay, cool. Let's turn it up then.

165
00:07:46,963 --> 00:07:47,691
Do surfing turf.

166
00:07:47,723 --> 00:07:48,275
>> J. Steven: Right.

167
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:51,295
>> Free Green: Um, so that's kind of how I do it. But then also,

168
00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:54,807
also, I always bring my

169
00:07:54,831 --> 00:07:57,687
own cash because in

170
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,800
the event that, um,

171
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:03,775
it's not going how I wanted to go,

172
00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:06,903
I'mnn say, check, please pay for my half and get

173
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,815
up out of there. So just some, um, initial

174
00:08:09,855 --> 00:08:10,475
thoughts.

175
00:08:10,935 --> 00:08:11,795
>> Anthony Weaver: All right.

176
00:08:13,655 --> 00:08:15,127
I mean, go.

177
00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:18,283
>> Nia Adams: For me, it has always been standard that the guy

178
00:08:18,479 --> 00:08:21,435
pays for the first date, but also the guy is typically the one

179
00:08:21,475 --> 00:08:24,443
who invites me out for the first date. So it's kind of

180
00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:27,251
like that's the person who initiated the

181
00:08:27,283 --> 00:08:29,971
date and it kind of goes along with it. I

182
00:08:30,003 --> 00:08:32,707
typically am not the one asking out for the first date. So in

183
00:08:32,731 --> 00:08:35,095
my experience it's always been the guy paying.

184
00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:39,827
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. I mean that I

185
00:08:39,851 --> 00:08:42,147
think my oh

186
00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:42,855
quote.

187
00:08:44,615 --> 00:08:47,071
>> Raima Carpenter: I was going toa say if you are not a traditional

188
00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:50,007
woman, do not try to act like he should be

189
00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:52,010
traditional too. I think that is

190
00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,887
um, I think about

191
00:08:54,911 --> 00:08:57,831
from the perspective of uh, you know, my

192
00:08:57,863 --> 00:09:00,639
boys and how would I want them to interact people

193
00:09:00,687 --> 00:09:03,591
now I do want them to be in a position to

194
00:09:03,663 --> 00:09:06,130
provide financially and I do appreciate that.

195
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,555
Um, I also think

196
00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:11,927
women should pursue men um, not

197
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,863
that there's zero times that you might be, you know, women might not

198
00:09:14,879 --> 00:09:17,805
be the one to ask somebody else. Maybe if you do

199
00:09:17,845 --> 00:09:20,813
then I would say expect to pay uh if I I mean

200
00:09:20,829 --> 00:09:23,745
I haven't been on a first date in like decades

201
00:09:24,285 --> 00:09:27,101
because I'm married. But um, if I

202
00:09:27,253 --> 00:09:30,253
asked him to go somewhere um, I

203
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,905
would do so within my budget and I would expect to pay.

204
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:45,265
>> Anthony Weaver: Things.

205
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,281
>> J. Steven: May I hop with a few opinions? Um, I was

206
00:09:48,313 --> 00:09:51,033
going to be quiet because I fel like this question for an

207
00:09:51,129 --> 00:09:53,937
like unnecessarily has the black community in a chokehold. I don't know

208
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,841
why but like every three months we're like who should

209
00:09:56,873 --> 00:09:59,761
pay for the date? And like that he

210
00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,761
doesn't do this and if you don't make him his plate

211
00:10:02,873 --> 00:10:05,765
they're like these don't forget the 50

212
00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:09,131
like we really can't get past and I don't know

213
00:10:09,163 --> 00:10:11,923
why we think there needs to be this like monolithic like we

214
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,731
all agree this what needs to get done because no two

215
00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:17,415
relationships are right. Having said that,

216
00:10:18,635 --> 00:10:21,371
I think the for the first date

217
00:10:21,523 --> 00:10:23,855
but it also took me

218
00:10:24,270 --> 00:10:27,187
um time to feel comable comfortable

219
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,975
with what I would accept for first date. So

220
00:10:30,475 --> 00:10:32,215
I know this is go going toa be ironic

221
00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:35,595
maybe I did not think coffee was the first

222
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,305
dayate I now do. It took me a minute to get there

223
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:41,077
um, because I I've been

224
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,685
working in big corporate

225
00:10:43,765 --> 00:10:46,477
companies when I was earlier in my dating life

226
00:10:46,661 --> 00:10:49,517
and these companies we had coffee all

227
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:52,077
the time for free and we had like

228
00:10:52,141 --> 00:10:54,805
coffee for work meetings. So

229
00:10:54,885 --> 00:10:57,845
when someone would ask me on a coffee date

230
00:10:57,885 --> 00:11:00,717
for me it was just automatically make me think of work.

231
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,429
That person didn't know that that was not their fault. It was

232
00:11:03,477 --> 00:11:06,331
not their responsibility to deal with

233
00:11:06,363 --> 00:11:09,347
like the PTSD from work that I'm carrying where

234
00:11:09,371 --> 00:11:11,655
the scent of hazelnut makes me go like u.

235
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:15,755
I had to realize and this is why therapy

236
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,627
growth is helpful. I had to realize

237
00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:21,379
like coffee is legitimate first date. It

238
00:11:21,427 --> 00:11:24,259
helps you get time to know someone and then

239
00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:26,975
get in and out. Um and because of that

240
00:11:27,315 --> 00:11:29,735
I dated when I was in my early 20s.

241
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,959
Um, and because I was. I'm from the south, my family'from the south, and

242
00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:35,919
we have this whole notion that you're, like, you're supposed to be married young. And then

243
00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:38,875
I'm glad I didn't get married young. It was,

244
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,231
um. And so I took a long gap from dating. I mean, so long

245
00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:45,247
that I'm quite sure I would qualify to be on, like, one of these reality shows where

246
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,119
they dramatically say, like, never had a relationship in 10

247
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:51,111
years. Like, that would always be the caption under me whenever I came on

248
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:54,063
screen. So when I finally started putting myself back out there and

249
00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:56,847
dating and working on, like, uh, this is

250
00:11:56,871 --> 00:11:59,215
black only dated. No, no, you can stay winning

251
00:11:59,295 --> 00:12:01,703
here. Welme

252
00:12:01,839 --> 00:12:04,360
all. Um,

253
00:12:04,455 --> 00:12:07,263
we. When I finally put myself back out there, I said I would do the

254
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:10,263
coffee and everything, and it's been perfectly fine, and I've enjoyed

255
00:12:10,279 --> 00:12:13,175
it because it's really not about, like, how much someone spends. It's

256
00:12:13,215 --> 00:12:15,903
about the chance to get to talk to someone, get to know some things.

257
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:18,999
And in the time it takes you to finish coffee, you can decide, like, h.

258
00:12:19,047 --> 00:12:22,007
Do I want to linger and act like I'm still drinking this coffee, or

259
00:12:22,031 --> 00:12:25,007
can I just, like, book it and head out and say, ah, you know, I

260
00:12:25,031 --> 00:12:27,871
got somewhere to go? Um, also, one thing

261
00:12:27,903 --> 00:12:30,680
a guy did that I was like, now, that was a so of flex. Um,

262
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,515
this was many, many years ago.

263
00:12:33,095 --> 00:12:35,903
But, um, I knew the

264
00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:38,831
check was coming. I've had one guy who went out of his way to let me

265
00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:41,823
know. Like, he picked the check up. Let's say this was the check when it came

266
00:12:41,839 --> 00:12:44,823
to the table, and he tapped it in the center of the table and said, now what

267
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:47,155
do we do about this? Mind you.

268
00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:50,485
Mind you, this one of the worst dates I could give y'all. This is not

269
00:12:50,985 --> 00:12:53,913
about me. But, like, we have a whole episode. The top 10 worst dates I've

270
00:12:53,929 --> 00:12:56,585
had. This was our first day. This guy,

271
00:12:56,745 --> 00:12:59,697
and he did this at a happy hour date

272
00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:01,921
where we only, like, the total bill was $15.

273
00:13:01,993 --> 00:13:03,617
>> Anthony Weaver: He really.

274
00:13:03,801 --> 00:13:06,609
>> J. Steven: And m. He ate almost all the food off my meal on my plate. I

275
00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:09,497
was starving. And. And

276
00:13:09,561 --> 00:13:11,900
then, um,

277
00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:14,241
I met him because I repaired his ha.

278
00:13:14,313 --> 00:13:15,009
>> Nia Adams: Red flag.

279
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,405
>> J. Steven: So I knew he had.

280
00:13:19,855 --> 00:13:21,535
Wait, I teach your taxes, sir.

281
00:13:21,575 --> 00:13:22,247
>> Raima Carpenter: I know you.

282
00:13:22,351 --> 00:13:25,239
>> J. Steven: And so I was like, if we have to do something, then we

283
00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:27,595
could split these $15. Like, here's 10.

284
00:13:29,095 --> 00:13:31,955
And even the server looked at us like, she looked like,

285
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,967
um. So that was one where it was like, red flag. Then the

286
00:13:36,991 --> 00:13:39,767
Green flag if you have one to like, oh wait, here I have a

287
00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:42,327
green flag that we can fly

288
00:13:42,391 --> 00:13:45,215
across. Not

289
00:13:45,255 --> 00:13:48,253
saying men have to do this, but I was like that was subtle. It

290
00:13:48,269 --> 00:13:51,101
was this guy. We went to um, some restaurant, a nice

291
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:54,077
restaurant for lunch and after we

292
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:57,053
finished eating, I kept sitting there thinking like the bill hasn't come. But

293
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,597
I didn't want to be rude and say, you know, we need to leave.

294
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:02,733
He evented and then he said, are you ready to go? And I said, uh, yeah, but we

295
00:14:02,749 --> 00:14:05,213
haven't paid like I. We died in a d. And you know, I

296
00:14:05,229 --> 00:14:07,949
get um. And he

297
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:10,589
said, oh no, before we got

298
00:14:10,637 --> 00:14:13,549
here I. He just said he called and put his card

299
00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:16,297
on file. Or like he conveniently went to the

300
00:14:16,321 --> 00:14:19,153
restroom at some point and said, you know, this is for our table

301
00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:22,105
and cashed out. And I never even saw the bill. I said, oh,

302
00:14:22,145 --> 00:14:25,033
now that was smh. Not saying guys need to do that. Not trying to put

303
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:28,009
that pressure out there. I'm just saying those are very opposite extremes

304
00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:31,089
of the. I'm going to put this bill in front of you. Make sure you see it

305
00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:34,041
versus the. You don't have to worry about this. My, I want to just take

306
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,085
care of you tonight.

307
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,321
>> Anthony Weaver: Oh man.

308
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:38,125
Okay,

309
00:14:40,935 --> 00:14:43,887
that opens up then like, you know, on these dates a lot

310
00:14:43,911 --> 00:14:46,423
of guys will say, well what do you bring to the table

311
00:14:46,479 --> 00:14:49,319
then? You know, and I always thought

312
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:52,295
about it as a sidear. Uh, uh, it was like I would

313
00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:55,231
never ask that because I didn't have anything to bring

314
00:14:55,263 --> 00:14:57,967
to table. Why you have legs to put on the table like

315
00:14:58,111 --> 00:15:00,959
what you. I was like, because my first

316
00:15:01,007 --> 00:15:03,951
date, it was like you go to the park and

317
00:15:03,983 --> 00:15:06,851
walk around that was free. Like so I'm here for the free

318
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:09,547
stuff. Uh, you know, if it was a coupon or

319
00:15:09,571 --> 00:15:10,659
groupon or something.

320
00:15:10,787 --> 00:15:13,720
>> Joy Coffee: Well, you know, I think social media has really put a crutch on

321
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,547
um, dating, right? Has really taken the simplicity out of

322
00:15:16,571 --> 00:15:19,019
dating. Really made it that we have to go to these five star

323
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:22,019
restaurant to really be on top. To not even. You

324
00:15:22,027 --> 00:15:24,819
don't even know the individual to even say that if it's quote unquote,

325
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:27,819
even if it's worth to be with this individual, not to say the person

326
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:30,819
is worthy but it. Social media has really

327
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:33,787
put this big crush and put this facage that hey, we

328
00:15:33,811 --> 00:15:36,747
must do this. The simplicity is the best because this is where you

329
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:39,657
get to know the individual. Going to the park, going to the coffee.

330
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,330
I remember listening to this panel and the guy says, you know, uh,

331
00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:45,313
I. If you If I got to take you to a coffee that. If I

332
00:15:45,329 --> 00:15:48,297
got to take you on the coffee, then I guess I'm not worthy, you're

333
00:15:48,321 --> 00:15:50,565
not worthy or something like that. And of course,

334
00:15:50,945 --> 00:15:53,825
everybody has answers. Everybody has some type of,

335
00:15:53,945 --> 00:15:56,409
you know, they have everything. Which guy got the second

336
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:57,045
thing?

337
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:00,577
>> Raima Carpenter: Friend?

338
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,081
>> Nia Adams: That's a question.

339
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:05,005
>> Joy Coffee: Yeah, you want to answer?

340
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:05,965
Go ahead, Jay.

341
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:09,005
>> J. Steven: I'm putting it in the comments interrupt

342
00:16:09,045 --> 00:16:11,637
you Jo. Uh, go

343
00:16:11,661 --> 00:16:14,421
ahead. But I put it in the.

344
00:16:14,533 --> 00:16:17,333
>> Joy Coffee: Oh, no, you're good. It was just to bounce off with Anthony. You know, it's just.

345
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:20,293
I think social media is really a strong player in this

346
00:16:20,389 --> 00:16:22,941
where it's really just taking the simplicity out of a

347
00:16:23,013 --> 00:16:26,013
simple relationship. People think they have to and that's where it

348
00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:29,029
goes back. Who should pay, you know, where. You know,

349
00:16:29,077 --> 00:16:31,921
now you have these people who just, um, I'm not

350
00:16:31,993 --> 00:16:34,873
men per se because I'm heterosexual. No, no

351
00:16:34,889 --> 00:16:37,569
offense to, you know, to my Alphabet people. But

352
00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:40,721
it's really just, hey, no, they want to feel like

353
00:16:40,753 --> 00:16:43,233
they want to say, sit on the same throne. And

354
00:16:43,249 --> 00:16:46,153
it's. It's not that, you know, it's like, why can't we

355
00:16:46,169 --> 00:16:48,401
just go out and enjoy. It's okay. I mean,

356
00:16:48,553 --> 00:16:51,321
but like free say, hey, inna make sure I'm

357
00:16:51,353 --> 00:16:54,257
taken care of. So decide if you want to go left. You

358
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,273
could play the fool if you want to. You can end up vi by yourself. I'm

359
00:16:57,289 --> 00:17:00,179
out the door. But again, you know, it's really

360
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,059
just taking the. Some social media has taken the simplicity out

361
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:06,067
of simple things that were relationship. I mean,

362
00:17:06,171 --> 00:17:08,875
going on a date is what it looks like. Just enjoy the

363
00:17:08,915 --> 00:17:11,891
individual. People don't talk. Like, now I know you all probably saw

364
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,979
with Halie and her boyfriend, I guess whatever

365
00:17:14,027 --> 00:17:16,771
situationship they broken up. It's like, come

366
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,755
on, did y all even thought about being with, you know,

367
00:17:19,795 --> 00:17:22,787
being together? Here it is. It's like, now we made a baby,

368
00:17:22,851 --> 00:17:25,631
now we're not together. It's almost like the norm and it's.

369
00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:28,583
You want us as people to accept that. So

370
00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:30,515
it's like really just going backwards.

371
00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:33,687
>> Free Green: Yeah, I think I.

372
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:36,711
>> Nia Adams: That it's based on the person. I don't feel any pressure

373
00:17:36,783 --> 00:17:39,775
to do any of those things. I'm

374
00:17:39,815 --> 00:17:42,671
definitely a do me type of person. And with each

375
00:17:42,743 --> 00:17:45,503
relationship, I don't need anybody to tell me

376
00:17:45,559 --> 00:17:48,423
what role is whose role. And I do

377
00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:51,023
it based off, like we decide what we're going to

378
00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:53,461
do. But I agree with Jay, like, it's the

379
00:17:53,493 --> 00:17:56,293
5050 conversation. It'what are you bringing to the

380
00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:59,245
table? It's the first date. It's

381
00:17:59,285 --> 00:18:01,821
the um, I'm trying to think of the

382
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:03,890
top, the top five U uh,

383
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:07,717
just hot topics that are so controversial and to me

384
00:18:07,741 --> 00:18:09,665
honestly it's just another way to divide.

385
00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:11,505
>> Joy Coffee: Oh yeah, big time.

386
00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:15,429
>> Free Green: Yeah, I'll say if, if a guy asked me

387
00:18:15,477 --> 00:18:18,309
what I bring to the table on our first date,

388
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:21,385
that lets me know that you are chronically online

389
00:18:21,805 --> 00:18:24,205
and you're probably tuned into some

390
00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:26,829
podcasts that I don't watch and

391
00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:29,725
so we probably ain't compatible

392
00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:32,605
do together. Because my

393
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,981
answer is going to be I am the table, the

394
00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:37,437
legss, the napkins,

395
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:40,293
like all the things. And that it's not from a

396
00:18:40,309 --> 00:18:43,245
perspective of like, oh, I'm just this independent woman

397
00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:45,953
because I've had my, my uh, personal

398
00:18:46,009 --> 00:18:48,913
evolution with that phrase as well.

399
00:18:49,089 --> 00:18:51,881
But it just lets me know that like we're not starting

400
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:54,793
off from the same place intellectually

401
00:18:54,849 --> 00:18:57,713
and like our intentions and while we're having this first D.

402
00:18:57,809 --> 00:19:00,725
>> Nia Adams: Personally, I completely agreeely.

403
00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:04,177
>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, if I had a red flag, I would be pointing

404
00:19:04,201 --> 00:19:06,945
it. If a guy said that is a big red flag.

405
00:19:07,025 --> 00:19:09,961
He's not ready for a relationship.

406
00:19:10,153 --> 00:19:13,021
Because one of the biggest parts of

407
00:19:13,053 --> 00:19:16,013
falling in love is what can you do for the other person? Like you

408
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,853
should be thinking about what are you doing for the other person.

409
00:19:18,989 --> 00:19:21,933
But if he's me focused, he just seems like

410
00:19:21,949 --> 00:19:24,701
a selfish guy and it's not going to go well in

411
00:19:24,733 --> 00:19:27,565
marriage or any type of long term relationship. So

412
00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:30,557
that's just a big red flag of a guy is what are you going to do for me?

413
00:19:30,701 --> 00:19:33,693
He has a wrong attitude for falling in love and being

414
00:19:33,709 --> 00:19:34,805
in a relationship.

415
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:35,665
>> J. Steven: So.

416
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:41,281
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, we got a comment from Erica. She said I'm

417
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,365
good with the ice cream dates. Like.

418
00:19:47,505 --> 00:19:50,393
>> Free Green: I have a running joke on um, my YouTube channel that like I'm

419
00:19:50,409 --> 00:19:53,369
an ice cream connoisseur. So I like ice cream

420
00:19:53,417 --> 00:19:56,209
dates, coffees. I'm very adventurous. Like, let's go

421
00:19:56,257 --> 00:19:59,033
skydive. Like I want to get to the point where I

422
00:19:59,049 --> 00:20:01,977
can observe you and understand like how you

423
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,921
are in addition to the conversation. But I learned more through

424
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,909
observation because uh, you could tell me anything but I want to be

425
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:10,677
able to see how you are in certain scenarios and

426
00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:11,585
situations.

427
00:20:11,925 --> 00:20:12,661
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah.

428
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:15,557
So what are some, some good places for dates then?

429
00:20:15,701 --> 00:20:17,665
You know, especially in 2024.

430
00:20:18,325 --> 00:20:21,277
>> Nia Adams: I think it depends on the person. Um, it's

431
00:20:21,301 --> 00:20:24,221
a matter when you're having those initial conversations you can find a little

432
00:20:24,253 --> 00:20:26,941
bit about each other and you'll pick something that will

433
00:20:26,973 --> 00:20:29,917
resonate with both of you all. You know, typically you have Those get to know

434
00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:32,781
you conversations, you know, before you go out

435
00:20:32,813 --> 00:20:35,633
the first time. That's the perfect time to figure out oh,

436
00:20:35,729 --> 00:20:38,361
oh, she likes museums. We can go to the museum.

437
00:20:38,513 --> 00:20:38,897
>> De Dee Patterson: O she.

438
00:20:38,921 --> 00:20:41,825
>> Nia Adams: You know what I mean? Like something that relates to the people and

439
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,081
not what society feels like.

440
00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:47,045
>> Anthony Weaver: You should go PR Gotcha.

441
00:20:49,105 --> 00:20:51,433
Nobodra. O that's Somebody said the

442
00:20:51,449 --> 00:20:52,165
library.

443
00:20:53,345 --> 00:20:56,281
All right. So you know, because

444
00:20:56,313 --> 00:20:58,565
coming to like some of these adventure dates

445
00:20:59,265 --> 00:21:02,177
and stuff like that, do you feel like, I mean obviously you get to know a little

446
00:21:02,201 --> 00:21:04,785
bit more about the person but also how do they show up for the

447
00:21:04,825 --> 00:21:07,769
event because they know where they going at versus like you go to a

448
00:21:07,777 --> 00:21:10,729
identner date. They might look nice, you know, from waist

449
00:21:10,777 --> 00:21:13,737
up, but down bottom, the shoes

450
00:21:13,801 --> 00:21:16,729
ain't shoing in the um, pants ain'tucking or

451
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:19,697
something. You know. How do you.

452
00:21:19,881 --> 00:21:22,657
You gaue that as well? Like did they really prepare? Did they go

453
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,353
out, you know the R was the REI

454
00:21:25,489 --> 00:21:28,313
and get some hiking boots or something like that for, for the

455
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:31,011
hike or did they go to Nike

456
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:34,083
outlet to get some shorts for you? I mean did

457
00:21:34,099 --> 00:21:36,947
they give you a water bottle when you show up? Like

458
00:21:37,091 --> 00:21:39,535
would those things be a green flag for you?

459
00:21:41,555 --> 00:21:42,935
No. Adventurous dates.

460
00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:46,291
>> Nia Adams: I think they will show their into it. If they like

461
00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:49,219
if they bring supplies and things for me for whatever

462
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:52,147
activity we're doing. I feel like they put some thought and we're being

463
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,971
considerate of me. They could have showed up

464
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:56,797
with nothing. Like you ready?

465
00:21:56,931 --> 00:21:57,605
>> Joy Coffee: Right?

466
00:21:58,785 --> 00:21:59,289
>> Nia Adams: I.

467
00:21:59,377 --> 00:22:02,165
>> Free Green: That's a bonus. You got a good attitude.

468
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:05,513
If you got a good attitude attitude about it in terms of

469
00:22:05,529 --> 00:22:08,481
like you're excited to meet me. I'm excited to meet you. Like I'm excited

470
00:22:08,513 --> 00:22:11,361
to get to know you and the vibes is the

471
00:22:11,393 --> 00:22:14,233
same. Like you show with water. Okay, cool. So

472
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:17,009
like let's go do. Let's go have fun. Let's go do what we about to do

473
00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:20,097
and because particularly when it comes to adventure stuff and

474
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:22,929
like with a little bit of competition because I'm not

475
00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:25,857
super competitive. So I oftentimes like to go on

476
00:22:25,921 --> 00:22:28,681
competitive dates to see like are you going to let me

477
00:22:28,713 --> 00:22:30,765
win or are you going toa try to like

478
00:22:31,345 --> 00:22:33,250
really win? Because I'm like m.

479
00:22:34,345 --> 00:22:36,925
Yeah, you got it. I'm not that

480
00:22:37,345 --> 00:22:38,121
soe.

481
00:22:38,153 --> 00:22:40,313
>> Nia Adams: Yeah, I don't like movie dates for a first date.

482
00:22:40,449 --> 00:22:42,393
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, you can't talk on them.

483
00:22:42,449 --> 00:22:45,377
>> Nia Adams: Yeah, exactlyactly. That's the point. You

484
00:22:45,401 --> 00:22:48,125
can't ah talk. So we just sitting in the movie.

485
00:22:48,545 --> 00:22:51,065
>> Raima Carpenter: I talked during movies. That would be bad for me.

486
00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:53,921
>> Nia Adams: Uh, yeah, I'm Pretty sure people in the movie

487
00:22:53,953 --> 00:22:55,725
theater might have a problem with it.

488
00:22:58,345 --> 00:23:01,257
>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, I like fun dates because it

489
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:04,209
just puts you in a'relaxing. You're not like all

490
00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:07,177
stf. So any type of fun date is good. I

491
00:23:07,201 --> 00:23:10,129
saw the library. I don't know about that because you can't.

492
00:23:10,177 --> 00:23:13,129
Again, you can't really talk in that one. And I actually

493
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:16,041
like restaurant dates. I know some people are like, oh, that's too

494
00:23:16,073 --> 00:23:18,945
boring. But you get to talk to them and get to know

495
00:23:18,985 --> 00:23:21,761
them. And that's like one of the

496
00:23:21,793 --> 00:23:24,777
biggest, most important thing about, um, dating is getting to

497
00:23:24,801 --> 00:23:27,481
know another person. I like that you can do that in a restaurant.

498
00:23:27,633 --> 00:23:30,369
So anything fun and relaxing because

499
00:23:30,497 --> 00:23:33,481
you just. That's what we have to get people to do is to relax

500
00:23:33,553 --> 00:23:36,361
and not be so, like, nervous. And those fun

501
00:23:36,473 --> 00:23:39,045
dates is a way to get people to relax.

502
00:23:39,545 --> 00:23:40,233
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah.

503
00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:43,345
And before you even get to the dating, because

504
00:23:43,385 --> 00:23:45,919
deed dee I'mn to lean into your strong su

505
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:48,783
here, which is setting up that online profile for

506
00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:51,495
these apps. So, you know, since

507
00:23:51,535 --> 00:23:54,439
you're like the queen of setting up these apps,

508
00:23:54,527 --> 00:23:57,023
can you give the people that are listening right

509
00:23:57,079 --> 00:23:59,935
now, uh, some kind of takeaways

510
00:23:59,975 --> 00:24:02,639
that they can kind of enhance their online

511
00:24:02,687 --> 00:24:03,955
presence for dating?

512
00:24:04,295 --> 00:24:06,715
>> De Dee Patterson: Yes. I love this topic.

513
00:24:07,855 --> 00:24:10,663
Are the things. So the main things I

514
00:24:10,719 --> 00:24:13,221
say is when we talk about

515
00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:16,037
pictures, dress your best. I know some women

516
00:24:16,101 --> 00:24:18,957
think, oh, you should see me in my natural environment

517
00:24:19,021 --> 00:24:21,957
or something. No, just like an interview. Just

518
00:24:22,021 --> 00:24:24,341
look your best. Have dresses, nice

519
00:24:24,413 --> 00:24:27,077
clothes, and then have a body

520
00:24:27,141 --> 00:24:29,549
shot and a face shot.

521
00:24:29,717 --> 00:24:32,437
So make guys, they want to see your body, so

522
00:24:32,461 --> 00:24:35,093
they, they want to know what you really look like.

523
00:24:35,269 --> 00:24:38,121
Also have a face shot. Some of the profiles I

524
00:24:38,153 --> 00:24:41,089
looked at, one of the first things I saw, it was like,

525
00:24:41,137 --> 00:24:44,073
you're frowning, you look mean. So make sure your

526
00:24:44,089 --> 00:24:47,009
pictures are smiling. Make sure you look nice and friendly.

527
00:24:47,137 --> 00:24:49,921
So guys want to pick you. And

528
00:24:49,953 --> 00:24:52,377
the biggest mistake I'm seeing in a

529
00:24:52,401 --> 00:24:55,201
bio is that they're

530
00:24:55,353 --> 00:24:58,313
too negative. Like, they would start up, I

531
00:24:58,329 --> 00:25:01,257
don't want any guy who does this. I don't want any guy who does that.

532
00:25:01,401 --> 00:25:04,385
Use your filters instead of putting

533
00:25:04,425 --> 00:25:07,177
those words because you just seem like a negative person.

534
00:25:07,361 --> 00:25:10,097
So a lot of no smoking, no short guys,

535
00:25:10,161 --> 00:25:13,120
no, none of this. And that just turns guys off. But,

536
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,041
uh, when you're talking in a positive way, this is who I am

537
00:25:16,113 --> 00:25:17,805
and this is what I'm looking for.

538
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,561
The things you want instead of I don't want this,

539
00:25:21,593 --> 00:25:24,369
I't, um, that makes a profile

540
00:25:24,417 --> 00:25:27,393
better. And the women who, once I change their profile

541
00:25:27,449 --> 00:25:30,357
from the no smoker. Know this, know this. And I

542
00:25:30,381 --> 00:25:33,093
change it to a more positive one. They're getting way more

543
00:25:33,149 --> 00:25:35,829
quality matches. So that's the biggest

544
00:25:35,877 --> 00:25:38,397
mistake I'm seeing when I see people's

545
00:25:38,461 --> 00:25:39,265
profiles.

546
00:25:39,645 --> 00:25:42,305
>> Anthony Weaver: Wow. Well, thank you for that one

547
00:25:43,045 --> 00:25:45,837
because, you know, I hit a lot of people trying to

548
00:25:45,861 --> 00:25:48,557
utilize these platforms. I could tell you that I was negative

549
00:25:48,621 --> 00:25:50,173
from my tender profile.

550
00:25:50,309 --> 00:25:52,813
>> Nia Adams: Say Erica comment is clutch.

551
00:25:52,989 --> 00:25:55,665
>> Anthony Weaver: Which say comment is very important.

552
00:25:56,185 --> 00:25:58,905
>> Nia Adams: This one, I can't tell you how many men they got their high

553
00:25:58,945 --> 00:26:01,729
school football pitcher on their

554
00:26:01,777 --> 00:26:03,485
profile. So you are 50.

555
00:26:03,905 --> 00:26:05,605
>> Anthony Weaver: That is o make sure you're.

556
00:26:06,905 --> 00:26:09,761
>> Nia Adams: That is not you. I don't know who that man is, but it is not

557
00:26:09,793 --> 00:26:10,801
you anymore.

558
00:26:10,993 --> 00:26:13,601
>> De Dee Patterson: Yes. Make sure the pictures are current. That's a big

559
00:26:13,633 --> 00:26:15,405
one. It is. Yeah.

560
00:26:15,705 --> 00:26:18,145
>> Joy Coffee: But they apps, aren't they the abs anymore it.

561
00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:21,121
So they become more of a business. You know,

562
00:26:21,153 --> 00:26:23,897
people are solicening, they're asking for things. You're

563
00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:26,969
genuinely going on there trying to hopefully you could match

564
00:26:27,057 --> 00:26:29,937
find that mate or hopefully that mate find you. But in

565
00:26:29,961 --> 00:26:32,937
reality, this person is an entrepreneur hoping that they could find some type

566
00:26:32,961 --> 00:26:35,913
of call girl or you know, quote unquote, trafficking. You

567
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:38,881
know, they set it up very nice. You know, that's the

568
00:26:38,913 --> 00:26:41,529
catch. Right, Right. And it's

569
00:26:41,577 --> 00:26:43,925
really. You're not on here for that.

570
00:26:44,865 --> 00:26:45,605
>> Nia Adams: Agree.

571
00:26:46,065 --> 00:26:48,865
>> Joy Coffee: But that's what it's turning over. And now apps are

572
00:26:48,905 --> 00:26:51,785
making people pay because with the intent of paying,

573
00:26:51,905 --> 00:26:54,585
you would think you will get quality people. Right.

574
00:26:54,665 --> 00:26:57,281
But entail people just pay hoping that they can find

575
00:26:57,353 --> 00:27:00,289
more in a certain, um, certain area

576
00:27:00,377 --> 00:27:03,113
outside of dating. So me personally, I, um, am

577
00:27:03,209 --> 00:27:06,081
not the person for the app. So I mean the data apps

578
00:27:06,113 --> 00:27:09,073
to me is completely just, it's gone bonkers.

579
00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:12,177
And nowadays and excuse me, um, you know, I'm not a

580
00:27:12,201 --> 00:27:14,945
cursor, but I guess I just want to call the FBC the fuck boy

581
00:27:14,985 --> 00:27:16,645
coalition. It's like,

582
00:27:17,745 --> 00:27:20,669
you know, they really trying to find when you are a

583
00:27:20,717 --> 00:27:23,573
woman, you know what you have, you know what you already have, you know, and

584
00:27:23,589 --> 00:27:26,333
I'm not saying, hey, I'm up here looking for Benzo, whatever,

585
00:27:26,429 --> 00:27:29,421
not I am but you know, hey, at least let us

586
00:27:29,453 --> 00:27:32,453
come equal. You know, I'm not trying to get over on you and I'm hoping that

587
00:27:32,469 --> 00:27:35,405
you're not trying to get over on me and a lot of men. I'm not saying

588
00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:38,437
it's all but a lot of men are um, on there hoping that they could find the e

589
00:27:38,461 --> 00:27:41,397
scapegoat. They're trying to see if they could stay with Someone

590
00:27:41,501 --> 00:27:43,997
seeing, hey, how can I get this and get there? And

591
00:27:44,021 --> 00:27:46,917
then even to go back to what you were saying dei, about,

592
00:27:46,941 --> 00:27:49,713
you know, people being negative, it's like to me, I'm thinking it is in the

593
00:27:49,729 --> 00:27:52,489
reverse. I'm trying to cut all this bull out. I'm not trying to waste your

594
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:55,489
time, you know, and sometimes some people don't know how to transfer the words

595
00:27:55,537 --> 00:27:58,369
for the positive. Right? I don't want nobody four feet,

596
00:27:58,457 --> 00:28:01,297
you know, I don't want you fat. I know I'm a plus size girl. I want you

597
00:28:01,321 --> 00:28:04,073
big. You know, I don't got no problems, you know, I don't want you smoking,

598
00:28:04,169 --> 00:28:07,033
so I just don't want you wasting my time, you know, because

599
00:28:07,049 --> 00:28:09,993
not everyone can't afford a coach, right? So they just trying to go

600
00:28:10,009 --> 00:28:12,985
out there, like, look, just bypass me with all that, you know,

601
00:28:13,145 --> 00:28:15,165
and the ab really have taken.

602
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:16,040
>> De Dee Patterson: Huh, huh.

603
00:28:16,351 --> 00:28:18,435
>> Nia Adams: I agree with that. Be yourself. Because

604
00:28:19,455 --> 00:28:22,315
if you change in who you are just to get chose,

605
00:28:22,615 --> 00:28:25,351
then once you meet, you're not going to be the person that you presented

606
00:28:25,383 --> 00:28:28,327
yourself to be. You're going to be somebody different. So that was just a waste of

607
00:28:28,351 --> 00:28:29,395
both of your time.

608
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,735
>> De Dee Patterson: M right person.

609
00:28:31,815 --> 00:28:32,795
>> Nia Adams: Show yourself.

610
00:28:33,335 --> 00:28:35,375
>> De Dee Patterson: Yeah, definitely be yourself.

611
00:28:35,535 --> 00:28:38,367
About the, um, you want to put the nose

612
00:28:38,431 --> 00:28:41,319
and stuff, but my client say exact

613
00:28:41,367 --> 00:28:44,351
samething. No, I need to put the. No smoking. I need to.

614
00:28:44,503 --> 00:28:47,111
And then when I switched it up for them, they're like, oh,

615
00:28:47,223 --> 00:28:50,191
wow, I'm getting really quality. Because they don't

616
00:28:50,223 --> 00:28:52,903
realize how much that negative stuff is just like,

617
00:28:53,039 --> 00:28:55,951
even, like, let me give you an example. Like, and I think,

618
00:28:56,063 --> 00:28:58,903
Anthony, um, I'm telling on you. So if you like no

619
00:28:58,959 --> 00:29:01,703
woman with a wig, and even if you don't have a wig,

620
00:29:01,799 --> 00:29:04,135
you're going to be like, I just don.

621
00:29:04,215 --> 00:29:05,191
>> J. Steven: I got a wig today.

622
00:29:05,263 --> 00:29:06,275
>> Anthony Weaver: You sure did.

623
00:29:08,255 --> 00:29:10,815
>> Nia Adams: Mind is to me, that tells me where your mind

624
00:29:10,855 --> 00:29:11,435
is.

625
00:29:13,005 --> 00:29:15,549
>> De Dee Patterson: Even if you don't have it just like deterred, you re like, oh, I.

626
00:29:15,557 --> 00:29:16,725
>> J. Steven: Don'T want to deal with that person.

627
00:29:16,845 --> 00:29:19,341
>> De Dee Patterson: But anyway, Anthony, you want to tell your story?

628
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:20,397
>> Anthony Weaver: Oh, my God.

629
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:21,957
>> De Dee Patterson: Sorry, I'm calling you out.

630
00:29:22,101 --> 00:29:24,805
>> Anthony Weaver: Thank you. Uh, so my

631
00:29:24,845 --> 00:29:27,730
profile, my tender profile, when I had it, um,

632
00:29:27,730 --> 00:29:30,221
um, I said, like, no wigs,

633
00:29:30,373 --> 00:29:32,625
uh, uh, little to no makeup,

634
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,797
no kids. I said, what else I put on

635
00:29:35,821 --> 00:29:38,637
there? And I had some other

636
00:29:38,661 --> 00:29:41,577
things. So it was like, just weird. And then I got a lot

637
00:29:41,601 --> 00:29:44,593
of hate messages, of course. And I'm like, well, you could

638
00:29:44,609 --> 00:29:47,481
have just kept moving, like, just kept swiping. What? You took the

639
00:29:47,513 --> 00:29:49,765
time out to respond to my message.

640
00:29:50,945 --> 00:29:53,857
>> De Dee Patterson: But you didn't say that. Your wife didn't read it. And that's the only

641
00:29:53,881 --> 00:29:54,849
reason you still.

642
00:29:54,897 --> 00:29:57,817
>> Anthony Weaver: That's all the reason why. Yeah, why?

643
00:29:57,841 --> 00:29:58,881
Whyife? Did I read it?

644
00:29:58,993 --> 00:30:00,169
>> J. Steven: I. Please.

645
00:30:00,297 --> 00:30:02,785
>> Raima Carpenter: I was going toa ask that because yourife.

646
00:30:02,825 --> 00:30:03,725
>> De Dee Patterson: Isay.

647
00:30:07,715 --> 00:30:10,255
>> J. Steven: How old were you when you made these posts?

648
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:12,955
>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, let's see. I was

649
00:30:13,035 --> 00:30:15,615
33. Fresh on the market

650
00:30:16,075 --> 00:30:17,195
around that time frame.

651
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:20,299
>> J. Steven: Okay. And I know this is, like, putting you in

652
00:30:20,307 --> 00:30:22,335
the hot seat. Anthony knows love is.

653
00:30:24,995 --> 00:30:27,843
I am not trying to call you out, especially on your own show.

654
00:30:27,939 --> 00:30:29,135
Haveier Gus here.

655
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,235
Um, what made you think something was wrong

656
00:30:32,315 --> 00:30:35,281
with makeup or wigs or

657
00:30:35,313 --> 00:30:37,969
anything? Like, like, I'm saying that because I'm pointing to, you

658
00:30:37,977 --> 00:30:40,125
know, makeup today.

659
00:30:42,385 --> 00:30:45,169
So what made you think that

660
00:30:45,217 --> 00:30:47,697
was an issue? And this is safe space. Whatever you say.

661
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:48,285
I.

662
00:30:49,905 --> 00:30:51,593
>> Anthony Weaver: No, it's a safe space, but also,

663
00:30:51,609 --> 00:30:54,321
it'it's. On the Internet, too.

664
00:30:54,393 --> 00:30:57,201
It's cool. Uh, but y'all got the red flags

665
00:30:57,233 --> 00:30:58,329
ready? You know what?

666
00:30:58,497 --> 00:31:01,471
>> J. Steven: I'm going to give you look, I'm going to give you a

667
00:31:01,503 --> 00:31:02,407
pink flag.

668
00:31:02,551 --> 00:31:03,343
>> Nia Adams: There you go.

669
00:31:03,439 --> 00:31:04,119
>> Anthony Weaver: You go.

670
00:31:04,247 --> 00:31:05,007
>> Nia Adams: There you go.

671
00:31:05,111 --> 00:31:07,487
>> J. Steven: As y all can tell, like, pink. But also, just

672
00:31:07,551 --> 00:31:10,455
because I know you, I've seen who you are

673
00:31:10,495 --> 00:31:13,359
now, so that's why I'm like, fall.

674
00:31:13,447 --> 00:31:16,071
Like, um, so

675
00:31:16,223 --> 00:31:18,875
what made you think that, like, Wes

676
00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:22,703
m excessive makeup, nails. Like, what made you think that would be

677
00:31:22,759 --> 00:31:25,737
something you were not attracted? You, like, you had a bad experience. You were,

678
00:31:25,831 --> 00:31:28,421
you know, hanging out with somebody and they wig knocked off or like

679
00:31:28,573 --> 00:31:31,173
an ey you woke up on an eyelash next to your pillow or

680
00:31:31,229 --> 00:31:33,677
something. Like, what were the situations that got

681
00:31:33,701 --> 00:31:34,293
you?

682
00:31:34,469 --> 00:31:37,230
>> Anthony Weaver: Where's the trau coming from? Where the trauma come from?

683
00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:39,973
Um, u. It was my prior relationship. That's what it was.

684
00:31:40,069 --> 00:31:42,545
And it was just kind of seeing

685
00:31:42,925 --> 00:31:45,701
the amount of effort that was going

686
00:31:45,813 --> 00:31:48,765
into the look, and I was like,

687
00:31:48,885 --> 00:31:51,549
um, um, it's just

688
00:31:51,597 --> 00:31:54,473
me. Like, you know, I don't. I don't look for all of

689
00:31:54,489 --> 00:31:57,185
this extra stuff. But then she was like, well, I do it for

690
00:31:57,225 --> 00:32:00,225
me, for herself. And I was like, it took me

691
00:32:00,225 --> 00:32:03,177
a while to understand that, but then I was like, you know, when I

692
00:32:03,201 --> 00:32:06,193
got done with that relationship, I was like, I just don't

693
00:32:06,209 --> 00:32:08,725
want to deal with it at all. So.

694
00:32:09,025 --> 00:32:11,649
But, you know, I had to get it that some people

695
00:32:11,817 --> 00:32:14,377
are different, and some people like it, some people

696
00:32:14,441 --> 00:32:17,337
don't. I mean, but to me, I'm as. I'm

697
00:32:17,361 --> 00:32:20,271
older now. You know me, it's like, I can chill

698
00:32:20,303 --> 00:32:22,295
with you all day, so it's Cool.

699
00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:24,943
>> J. Steven: Yes. Okay. See, and, and that's the

700
00:32:24,999 --> 00:32:27,831
maturation. It's the same way I didn't want to do coffee

701
00:32:27,863 --> 00:32:30,687
dates. I'm like, if you take me on a coffee date, he's not the man for me

702
00:32:30,871 --> 00:32:33,503
because the PTSD I had and the fact

703
00:32:33,559 --> 00:32:36,431
that it had nothing to do with that guy and

704
00:32:36,463 --> 00:32:39,463
as you said, he might in your case, she was doing all of

705
00:32:39,479 --> 00:32:42,447
that for herself. Um, and let's be real, at some

706
00:32:42,471 --> 00:32:45,423
point, you liked it because you initially saw her. She had all

707
00:32:45,439 --> 00:32:48,321
of that on you stuck around. That's when the guy

708
00:32:48,353 --> 00:32:51,337
asked me on a coffee day. He wasn't saying like, I want to make you

709
00:32:51,361 --> 00:32:54,017
think about work all the time. I'm m trying to pull on your

710
00:32:54,041 --> 00:32:57,017
triggers. He didn't even know that about me. I wasn't giving him a chance to know

711
00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:59,761
that about me. I was holding in the trauma I

712
00:32:59,793 --> 00:33:02,737
had. I also think it's, um, we mentioned

713
00:33:02,801 --> 00:33:05,489
social media before, um, that

714
00:33:05,537 --> 00:33:08,217
people have just these

715
00:33:08,281 --> 00:33:10,889
unrealistic expectations your pockets won't agree with.

716
00:33:10,937 --> 00:33:12,565
>> Nia Adams: They had a good name.

717
00:33:13,865 --> 00:33:16,767
>> J. Steven: It really had nothing to do with money. Caus you know, Starbucks dreams can run

718
00:33:16,791 --> 00:33:19,670
you a little something. Depends on what you order. Um,

719
00:33:20,535 --> 00:33:23,215
it. Social media

720
00:33:23,255 --> 00:33:26,103
just becomes like whatever, for whatever reason, the guide by

721
00:33:26,119 --> 00:33:28,887
which we say something's a healthy relationship or not. I

722
00:33:28,911 --> 00:33:31,703
think that there's this idea of like

723
00:33:31,759 --> 00:33:34,287
how someone should look and what dates we should go

724
00:33:34,311 --> 00:33:37,207
on. Um, because you want to have it postw worthy

725
00:33:37,391 --> 00:33:40,319
and you can have a lot of really

726
00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:43,175
great pictures, but your relationship, your life,

727
00:33:43,255 --> 00:33:45,879
the trust, the communication, the respect for you have is in

728
00:33:45,927 --> 00:33:48,895
shambles and there's no filter for that. And so

729
00:33:48,935 --> 00:33:51,871
you're sitting here trying to like force something to work off the

730
00:33:51,903 --> 00:33:54,511
strength of I want it to look like something.

731
00:33:54,663 --> 00:33:57,591
And this is what I think should be like how women are like, he's

732
00:33:57,623 --> 00:34:00,591
got to be six foot three. Okay, girl, but you don't like to wear

733
00:34:00,623 --> 00:34:03,135
high heels like you're

734
00:34:03,215 --> 00:34:05,807
five too. So like, maybe it's

735
00:34:05,831 --> 00:34:08,749
okay if he's not 60. So

736
00:34:08,837 --> 00:34:11,693
it's just kind of like understanding that there's so

737
00:34:11,709 --> 00:34:13,745
much more that will make a relationship work

738
00:34:14,165 --> 00:34:17,021
beyond the appearance.

739
00:34:17,213 --> 00:34:20,173
And I think what people constantly circle back to

740
00:34:20,189 --> 00:34:23,149
is like they're trying to find a no as opposed to trying to find a

741
00:34:23,157 --> 00:34:25,941
yes. I'm also very guilty of this. Again, not trying to give dating

742
00:34:25,973 --> 00:34:28,909
advice. Just like advice on. I'm

743
00:34:28,957 --> 00:34:31,845
very guilty of having to remind myself, do not

744
00:34:31,885 --> 00:34:34,349
take an easy exit out. Don't be like, oh, that one

745
00:34:34,397 --> 00:34:37,253
time. Keep blink three times in a Minute

746
00:34:37,349 --> 00:34:40,013
y. Like, I'm out. I'm out. That

747
00:34:40,109 --> 00:34:42,829
be me was so goodest.

748
00:34:42,957 --> 00:34:45,661
Or it was like I. It could be absolutely

749
00:34:45,693 --> 00:34:48,581
nothing wrong. There are a few things that I'm just going toa say no to. I will

750
00:34:48,613 --> 00:34:51,485
say, if they're missing that tooth on the side, I will find myself

751
00:34:51,525 --> 00:34:53,877
just staring at it because I'm just kind of like,

752
00:34:53,941 --> 00:34:56,877
h. So do we not have dental insurance? And are we not

753
00:34:56,901 --> 00:34:57,581
taking care of our health?

754
00:34:57,613 --> 00:34:59,325
>> Anthony Weaver: Which means care of yourself?

755
00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:02,269
>> J. Steven: Are you taking care of me? Cause like, how are

756
00:35:02,277 --> 00:35:05,167
you going to bring a family into when you can't even handle

757
00:35:05,191 --> 00:35:07,395
your own dead bones coming out your gums?

758
00:35:08,415 --> 00:35:11,263
But again, things you have to just like, I might just look at

759
00:35:11,279 --> 00:35:14,127
it. Unfortunately, I haven't had that. I think people tend to be getting

760
00:35:14,151 --> 00:35:17,127
their teeth nowadays big, so there's not that breeze going through the side. Y'all

761
00:35:17,151 --> 00:35:18,151
know that one.

762
00:35:18,343 --> 00:35:19,591
>> Anthony Weaver: I know you're talking about to be.

763
00:35:19,623 --> 00:35:21,071
>> J. Steven: Missing in people's mouths.

764
00:35:21,263 --> 00:35:22,915
>> Anthony Weaver: I know. Talking about

765
00:35:24,375 --> 00:35:27,275
always keep my. My dental records available.

766
00:35:29,175 --> 00:35:32,087
I accidentist for, uh, u. Uh, you know,

767
00:35:32,151 --> 00:35:34,991
mo mold. Fun stuff. But

768
00:35:35,023 --> 00:35:37,090
anyway, anyway, back to the topic.

769
00:35:37,090 --> 00:35:39,935
Uh, you know, where do you

770
00:35:39,975 --> 00:35:42,791
actually get your dating advice? I'mn harp on you rahema

771
00:35:42,823 --> 00:35:45,759
for this one, because you got a couple little ones out there

772
00:35:45,807 --> 00:35:48,591
and, you know, you provided them some dating advice, showing them good

773
00:35:48,623 --> 00:35:51,439
examples. Where did you get your examples

774
00:35:51,487 --> 00:35:52,075
from?

775
00:35:53,510 --> 00:35:56,367
>> Raima Carpenter: Um, I probably got my examples from a whole lot of what not

776
00:35:56,391 --> 00:35:59,170
to do. Uh,

777
00:35:59,170 --> 00:36:01,845
so I think it's really important to date your values.

778
00:36:02,270 --> 00:36:05,161
Uh, so. So values are the things that are going to underpin

779
00:36:05,193 --> 00:36:08,049
your decision making. So in. In

780
00:36:08,097 --> 00:36:10,685
leadership coaching, uh, surprisingly,

781
00:36:11,425 --> 00:36:14,305
the personal life stuff still comes up. That's why I say personal

782
00:36:14,345 --> 00:36:17,321
and leadership coach. Like it's that holistic thing. And so

783
00:36:17,473 --> 00:36:20,205
in my coaching practice, I do come across,

784
00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,490
uh, people sharing stuff. What's going on, their dating, um,

785
00:36:23,525 --> 00:36:26,317
maybe marital problems. Right. Just different stuff that come

786
00:36:26,341 --> 00:36:28,861
up. And so, um, typically I'm

787
00:36:28,893 --> 00:36:31,893
asking, you know, well, what information do you need

788
00:36:31,909 --> 00:36:34,901
to make a decision? Right. I don't necessarily tell people what

789
00:36:34,933 --> 00:36:37,637
to do. If somebody asks me, then I'll caveat it and

790
00:36:37,661 --> 00:36:40,261
say, well, I'm coming from the

791
00:36:40,373 --> 00:36:43,365
perspective of that. Like, I am a, um, I would say, like,

792
00:36:43,445 --> 00:36:46,170
you know, a historical Christian. Right. Um,

793
00:36:46,389 --> 00:36:49,387
and so, you know, you're going to hear something a little bit different when it comes to

794
00:36:49,411 --> 00:36:52,235
restrictions and dating. That being said for my

795
00:36:52,275 --> 00:36:54,899
kids, um, I don't want my kids

796
00:36:54,987 --> 00:36:57,563
to ask somebody else what they bring to the

797
00:36:57,579 --> 00:36:59,867
table. Uh, but I'm going to.

798
00:37:00,011 --> 00:37:02,827
And, and really, that's a question that I

799
00:37:02,851 --> 00:37:05,563
reserve for women because what I'm finding is

800
00:37:05,659 --> 00:37:08,547
with my mid-20s, um, which is

801
00:37:08,571 --> 00:37:11,571
about the youngest of my coaching clients are mid-20s, so like

802
00:37:11,643 --> 00:37:14,451
25, 26. They're

803
00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:17,357
operating from the perspective that they don't, they don't have to do

804
00:37:17,381 --> 00:37:20,045
anything. Right. It's like the guy this, the guy

805
00:37:20,085 --> 00:37:22,989
that. And so it just out of curiosity, like what is

806
00:37:22,997 --> 00:37:25,749
it you bring to the table? And it is a really

807
00:37:25,877 --> 00:37:28,717
offensive question. Um, I met this young

808
00:37:28,781 --> 00:37:31,581
woman, um, not, not a client of mine, but she

809
00:37:31,613 --> 00:37:34,477
was um, like Instagram pretty.

810
00:37:34,581 --> 00:37:37,405
Like look like she's filtered but she's not wearing the,

811
00:37:37,485 --> 00:37:40,341
the little shorts with the ruching up the behind.

812
00:37:40,390 --> 00:37:43,181
Um, and so for some marketplace, um, um, that

813
00:37:43,213 --> 00:37:46,037
don't come. I don't want my kids bringing that home. But like for

814
00:37:46,061 --> 00:37:48,389
somewhere else, you know, you're kind of

815
00:37:48,477 --> 00:37:51,413
stereotypical pretty. Um, um. And, and I asked her that. She's

816
00:37:51,429 --> 00:37:54,117
like ah, all this. And she was kind of joking. But

817
00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:56,901
like what was clear to me is that she hadn't reflected on that.

818
00:37:57,013 --> 00:37:59,949
Now I'm not saying that these women don't have anything to bring to

819
00:37:59,957 --> 00:38:02,185
the table. I'm just saying that you should

820
00:38:03,205 --> 00:38:06,005
to did Dee's point earlier talking about men asking that same

821
00:38:06,045 --> 00:38:08,933
question, you know, for to reflect on that and being what is it that I'm

822
00:38:08,949 --> 00:38:11,773
going to bring to the table? What am I, you know, you

823
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:14,549
know, I'm a great partner in this way. I can support you doing

824
00:38:14,597 --> 00:38:17,341
this. Um, I want for, for my

825
00:38:17,373 --> 00:38:20,229
kids to first understand who they are.

826
00:38:20,397 --> 00:38:23,149
Uh, uh, before u. Um, like I want

827
00:38:23,237 --> 00:38:26,061
them to have outward expressions of who they are, not putting on things

828
00:38:26,093 --> 00:38:28,885
from other people. So again being grounded in their, in their

829
00:38:28,925 --> 00:38:31,720
values. Um, um. Because ah,

830
00:38:31,725 --> 00:38:34,517
again like learning from what not to do. Right've I've been

831
00:38:34,541 --> 00:38:37,037
in a relationship before where uh, you know,

832
00:38:37,061 --> 00:38:39,837
really, you know, crush to my. My spirit and

833
00:38:39,861 --> 00:38:42,853
my confidence and uh. And I don't want for my kids to go through

834
00:38:42,869 --> 00:38:45,709
that same thing. U. Um, and then

835
00:38:45,837 --> 00:38:48,781
uh, uh, as far as like the rest is like, it's like

836
00:38:48,813 --> 00:38:51,280
how do you guys interact with each other? Uh uh,

837
00:38:51,373 --> 00:38:54,285
for initial dating, um, um, like the initial dates,

838
00:38:54,325 --> 00:38:57,213
like I can't really speak to that. But as far as being in a relationship, how

839
00:38:57,229 --> 00:38:59,893
do you navigate conflict? Um, what is your desired

840
00:38:59,949 --> 00:39:02,580
outcome? If you're having a maybe um,

841
00:39:02,869 --> 00:39:05,809
a contentious conversation, what is your, you know, when you walk away from

842
00:39:05,817 --> 00:39:08,553
the end of that conversation, what do you want to achieve?

843
00:39:08,689 --> 00:39:11,545
And having that end in mind will help filter

844
00:39:11,585 --> 00:39:14,337
what you say in that Conversation. Um, do you want to

845
00:39:14,361 --> 00:39:17,281
win or do you want to be happy at the

846
00:39:17,313 --> 00:39:19,825
end? And so, um, those are some things that come m to mind

847
00:39:19,905 --> 00:39:21,845
for, uh, thoughts around dating.

848
00:39:22,465 --> 00:39:25,457
>> Anthony Weaver: Gotcha. Thank you for that one. Because, I

849
00:39:25,481 --> 00:39:28,337
mean, you know, we all got toa learn from somebody. I think it

850
00:39:28,361 --> 00:39:31,177
was not John Mayer. What was it?

851
00:39:31,361 --> 00:39:34,233
One of those songs. I'm bad with songs. Ne. You know, I'm

852
00:39:34,249 --> 00:39:36,325
bad with songs. I ain'tnn try it.

853
00:39:40,105 --> 00:39:41,845
Yeah, yeahe not or

854
00:39:44,385 --> 00:39:46,905
no. He was like, fathers, learn from your daughter's

855
00:39:46,945 --> 00:39:47,441
daughter.

856
00:39:47,553 --> 00:39:48,593
>> J. Steven: That's John Mayor.

857
00:39:48,689 --> 00:39:50,005
>> Anthony Weaver: John, uh, Mayer. Okay.

858
00:39:50,905 --> 00:39:51,921
>> Raima Carpenter: You said John Mayor.

859
00:39:52,033 --> 00:39:54,681
>> J. Steven: He said, I definitely heard

860
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:57,185
John Legend. And you know what?

861
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,265
Uh, if I could, I'll put myself in my corner,

862
00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:05,665
say red flag for

863
00:40:06,885 --> 00:40:09,813
list skills. So I would put myself in time out over

864
00:40:09,829 --> 00:40:12,105
there. I'm just put on you and

865
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:17,025
John Mayer'a great song, though. That song gona happen feeling

866
00:40:17,405 --> 00:40:18,785
when it gets to the bridge.

867
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,901
>> Anthony Weaver: Uh, and that's why I said, I can't remember the song, but it gets to that.

868
00:40:22,973 --> 00:40:25,709
It's giving me those vibes. Uh, so

869
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:26,403
free.

870
00:40:26,589 --> 00:40:29,407
You know, when it comes to the

871
00:40:29,431 --> 00:40:32,355
dating pool, how do you feel,

872
00:40:32,420 --> 00:40:34,195
um, about,

873
00:40:36,055 --> 00:40:38,275
you know, single fathers?

874
00:40:39,535 --> 00:40:42,140
>> Free Green: Oh, that's actually a really good question. So,

875
00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:44,967
um, I personally don't have any kids. I'm in my

876
00:40:44,991 --> 00:40:47,343
mid-30s, and I

877
00:40:47,479 --> 00:40:50,007
have dated and will date a

878
00:40:50,071 --> 00:40:52,851
gentleman that has two is

879
00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:55,455
my max. Um, and

880
00:40:55,755 --> 00:40:58,739
oftentimes in social media, we talk about the number.

881
00:40:58,907 --> 00:41:01,515
But what's most important to me is that one,

882
00:41:01,675 --> 00:41:04,211
the relationship that he has with the kids.

883
00:41:04,403 --> 00:41:07,331
Because if you are a present father, that goes

884
00:41:07,483 --> 00:41:10,451
a long way with me. And not just present from the perspective

885
00:41:10,483 --> 00:41:13,443
of, like, oh, I'm paying child support. That

886
00:41:13,459 --> 00:41:15,755
ain't enough for me, and I'm not even ma.

887
00:41:15,875 --> 00:41:18,335
So'like are you showing up the games?

888
00:41:18,695 --> 00:41:21,567
Do they. Do you have an act? Like, do you play an

889
00:41:21,591 --> 00:41:23,970
active role in their life? Um,

890
00:41:24,575 --> 00:41:27,375
because that is important. Because should. Should

891
00:41:27,415 --> 00:41:30,183
we have, you know, kids and

892
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,951
blend the family? I want to know that you have a

893
00:41:32,983 --> 00:41:35,951
track record of activess.

894
00:41:36,063 --> 00:41:36,743
>> J. Steven: Right?

895
00:41:36,770 --> 00:41:39,583
>> Free Green: Um, and then what's also really important

896
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,435
is the relationship that you have with their mother.

897
00:41:42,530 --> 00:41:45,011
Um, I for. So I'll give you a quick

898
00:41:45,123 --> 00:41:47,971
story. So I went to

899
00:41:48,003 --> 00:41:50,843
lunch. Um, this wasn't a day I just happened to

900
00:41:50,859 --> 00:41:53,635
meet thetleman while I was treating myself to a solo

901
00:41:53,715 --> 00:41:56,579
lunch one day. And we got to talking,

902
00:41:56,707 --> 00:41:59,627
and, um, he mentioned that he had a daughter who was around 8

903
00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:02,331
years old. And I was like, oh, okay. And

904
00:42:02,363 --> 00:42:05,307
then he. He proceeded to

905
00:42:05,331 --> 00:42:08,147
say, like, he couldn't stand his

906
00:42:08,211 --> 00:42:11,043
child's mother, she like made him sick and was

907
00:42:11,059 --> 00:42:13,635
just disparaging her. And I was like,

908
00:42:14,495 --> 00:42:16,839
do you talk about your mother that

909
00:42:16,927 --> 00:42:19,871
way? Right? And they kind of caught him

910
00:42:19,903 --> 00:42:22,799
off guard because up until that point the conversation was flowing.

911
00:42:22,847 --> 00:42:25,839
But for me that was like, mentally.

912
00:42:26,007 --> 00:42:28,951
And I guess he, he thought that I was

913
00:42:28,983 --> 00:42:31,535
goingna like, oh, yeah. And I'm like,

914
00:42:31,615 --> 00:42:34,150
no, sweetie. So u.

915
00:42:34,150 --> 00:42:37,095
Um, you know, that conversation didn't go

916
00:42:37,135 --> 00:42:40,079
much further. But those are kind of the two things

917
00:42:40,127 --> 00:42:42,879
that I look at. And then also what's kind of helpful

918
00:42:42,967 --> 00:42:45,967
for me is to understand the age because if your child

919
00:42:45,991 --> 00:42:46,995
is two months,

920
00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:52,847
it's gonna be a no, right?

921
00:42:53,031 --> 00:42:55,887
>> J. Steven: So, yeah, the saying

922
00:42:55,991 --> 00:42:58,375
if you. If the baby's under, under

923
00:42:58,415 --> 00:43:00,515
two, y'all ain't through.

924
00:43:02,495 --> 00:43:04,911
>> De Dee Patterson: For me, black

925
00:43:04,943 --> 00:43:07,015
girl mmm.

926
00:43:08,755 --> 00:43:11,659
>> Nia Adams: For me, my daughter's 23, so I

927
00:43:11,667 --> 00:43:14,160
don't want to be under 5. Uh,

928
00:43:14,595 --> 00:43:17,563
my daughter is grown. I'm not looking to start

929
00:43:17,619 --> 00:43:20,427
over. If we're looking to get in relationship, your

930
00:43:20,491 --> 00:43:23,403
children are packag j the same thing. If you're not active in your

931
00:43:23,459 --> 00:43:26,427
children's lives or have a positive impact in their life, we

932
00:43:26,451 --> 00:43:29,203
can't date. There's nothing we can

933
00:43:29,219 --> 00:43:32,179
do. Um, but that's going to

934
00:43:32,187 --> 00:43:34,733
be a point for me in the relationship

935
00:43:34,829 --> 00:43:37,421
because like I said, um, I'm an empty

936
00:43:37,453 --> 00:43:40,437
nester. So that's something I

937
00:43:40,461 --> 00:43:43,141
have to consider. This young, like you

938
00:43:43,173 --> 00:43:46,021
said, under two. They not through, um, and

939
00:43:46,053 --> 00:43:48,269
just things that a child needs at that age.

940
00:43:48,397 --> 00:43:50,065
Homework, pick up

941
00:43:51,645 --> 00:43:54,597
hairstyles. Um, if I'm taking on this relationship with you, this

942
00:43:54,621 --> 00:43:57,477
means I'm going toa be doing hair. I'm. You know what I mean. If

943
00:43:57,501 --> 00:44:00,417
we're talking about getting together and we date for long term, so those

944
00:44:00,441 --> 00:44:02,205
are things that I have to consider

945
00:44:03,145 --> 00:44:05,833
do I want to do that and I

946
00:44:05,849 --> 00:44:06,445
don't.

947
00:44:09,865 --> 00:44:12,150
>> Raima Carpenter: I think this is a great question, Anthony. Um,

948
00:44:12,865 --> 00:44:15,330
so I will share. Um,

949
00:44:15,745 --> 00:44:18,641
I swore, uh, after the last, after getting

950
00:44:18,673 --> 00:44:21,313
divorced that um, that I was going to marry for

951
00:44:21,329 --> 00:44:23,865
money and inst said I

952
00:44:23,905 --> 00:44:26,853
married a soldier with four kids.

953
00:44:26,989 --> 00:44:29,957
And so I had one child from previous marriage, he

954
00:44:29,981 --> 00:44:32,629
had four. And ah. And so now

955
00:44:32,677 --> 00:44:35,370
those, the fourth of those ones, um,

956
00:44:35,661 --> 00:44:38,090
just finished high school. Mine, uh,

957
00:44:38,605 --> 00:44:41,269
that I came into the marriage with, uh, is now in high

958
00:44:41,317 --> 00:44:44,160
school. And then we have a surprise, um,

959
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,877
baby who, who's seven. So a

960
00:44:46,901 --> 00:44:49,345
huge um, age range for the kids. But

961
00:44:49,580 --> 00:44:51,745
uh, going back to

962
00:44:52,085 --> 00:44:55,013
how they, how the dads interact with

963
00:44:55,029 --> 00:44:57,901
their kids and how they just how they are about their kids. And

964
00:44:57,933 --> 00:45:00,909
I will tell you that that same care extends

965
00:45:00,957 --> 00:45:03,757
to Me. And so I know that I am

966
00:45:03,781 --> 00:45:06,637
a better mother being

967
00:45:06,701 --> 00:45:09,637
with my husband, uh, that I was before he and

968
00:45:09,661 --> 00:45:12,549
I got married. Um. Um. He's also, you

969
00:45:12,557 --> 00:45:15,333
know, like, I'm a bonus mom. He's a bonus dad. You know,

970
00:45:15,349 --> 00:45:18,183
fortunately, our, you know, for all the kids have their other

971
00:45:18,199 --> 00:45:21,135
parents and all of that. So, um, you know, we're in a good situation

972
00:45:21,215 --> 00:45:24,127
there. But, uh, it's tough when you talk about

973
00:45:24,151 --> 00:45:27,143
what kind of filters you're going to put in place. And that's why I say, you know. Re going back

974
00:45:27,159 --> 00:45:29,999
to dating values, because you may find yourself dating

975
00:45:30,047 --> 00:45:32,515
somebody that is unexpected.

976
00:45:32,935 --> 00:45:35,919
But then, uh, like, I mean, ll I'll tell you all,

977
00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:38,855
like, I went part. Like, he married a career woman. I went part time

978
00:45:38,895 --> 00:45:41,839
last year. And I have an extra strategy from the workforce. I told my

979
00:45:41,847 --> 00:45:44,763
husband two years ago, I'm like, um, I. I don't want

980
00:45:44,779 --> 00:45:47,315
to work anymore, and I don't want to have any responsibilities

981
00:45:47,475 --> 00:45:50,160
before providing for the household. And he was kind of like, uh,

982
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,099
u. Okay. And, um. And we

983
00:45:53,147 --> 00:45:56,123
partnered together to, you know, to be able to make that happen. And

984
00:45:56,139 --> 00:45:58,707
it'll take total. It will take about four years to make that

985
00:45:58,731 --> 00:46:01,699
happen. Um, but, you know, for somebody else, they

986
00:46:01,707 --> 00:46:04,347
would have filtered him out because he is not six foot tall.

987
00:46:04,491 --> 00:46:07,131
Right. And he has four kids. And, man,

988
00:46:07,243 --> 00:46:10,119
I am incredibly blessed.

989
00:46:10,167 --> 00:46:13,167
I have a wonderful husband who, um. And I'm really

990
00:46:13,231 --> 00:46:16,127
spoiled. I don't know what I would do if something

991
00:46:16,151 --> 00:46:17,490
happens to him. Um,

992
00:46:19,055 --> 00:46:21,555
Dee Dee, there's probably no hope for me. Like, I.

993
00:46:23,095 --> 00:46:24,035
I'll just.

994
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:27,315
>> Anthony Weaver: You could talk about his cooking if you want to. I mean,

995
00:46:27,975 --> 00:46:30,439
about. You can talk about his cooking if you want to. It's all right.

996
00:46:30,487 --> 00:46:33,063
>> Raima Carpenter: We know he cooks. He does my mil prep. Like, y'all.

997
00:46:33,119 --> 00:46:36,113
It's. I. He's happy. So,

998
00:46:36,249 --> 00:46:39,089
I don't know. You'll have to ask him about it. But, like, I am. I

999
00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:41,809
am super spoiled. Um, I just. The point is

1000
00:46:41,937 --> 00:46:44,929
dating your values, um, and being mindful of some of

1001
00:46:44,937 --> 00:46:47,897
these other things. Now, if you're somebody who has decided that you don't

1002
00:46:47,921 --> 00:46:50,841
want to have kids or however you want to set your boundaries, like, that is

1003
00:46:50,873 --> 00:46:52,540
perfectly fine. Like, I am not, um.

1004
00:46:52,540 --> 00:46:52,640
>> Anthony Weaver: Um.

1005
00:46:53,585 --> 00:46:54,625
>> Raima Carpenter: Don't hear what I'm not saying.

1006
00:46:54,665 --> 00:46:54,817
>> J. Steven: Right.

1007
00:46:54,841 --> 00:46:57,697
>> Raima Carpenter: I am not shaming that again. It could be just part of, you know,

1008
00:46:57,721 --> 00:47:00,225
where you are in your life, that you don't want the responsibility,

1009
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,341
uh, of being a parent when that's not your child. Like,

1010
00:47:03,413 --> 00:47:06,349
it is a responsibility and free, to your point, like, you

1011
00:47:06,397 --> 00:47:08,773
are. You are all coming. Like, you have to take it

1012
00:47:08,789 --> 00:47:09,421
all.

1013
00:47:09,613 --> 00:47:10,117
>> J. Steven: Anthony.

1014
00:47:10,181 --> 00:47:12,840
>> Raima Carpenter: So maybe something for us to talk about later is, um,

1015
00:47:13,285 --> 00:47:16,197
maybe like how you do family dates or something like

1016
00:47:16,221 --> 00:47:19,109
that. Because that was also, I mean, that was a

1017
00:47:19,157 --> 00:47:22,077
key thing in, you know, our dating relationship. So talking

1018
00:47:22,101 --> 00:47:24,909
about dates, I'm like, oh, like, you

1019
00:47:24,917 --> 00:47:27,819
know, we had very few before

1020
00:47:27,947 --> 00:47:30,695
then. We were looking at integrating the family. You.

1021
00:47:31,795 --> 00:47:34,779
>> Nia Adams: Yeah, you make a good point. Like me personally, I'm that person. I don't

1022
00:47:34,827 --> 00:47:37,803
plan on having any more children. I've made sure that I'm not going to have any

1023
00:47:37,819 --> 00:47:40,547
more children. So I know would be no

1024
00:47:40,571 --> 00:47:43,371
surprise babies, um, for me. And so

1025
00:47:43,403 --> 00:47:46,055
that's why that's a strong consideration for me.

1026
00:47:46,835 --> 00:47:49,050
>> De Dee Patterson: So what I believe, um,

1027
00:47:49,755 --> 00:47:52,537
I'm going to talk about dating up and again, because I love dating

1028
00:47:52,561 --> 00:47:55,377
apps, that you can be picky on a dating

1029
00:47:55,401 --> 00:47:58,233
app. So if you don't want a guy with a

1030
00:47:58,249 --> 00:48:00,921
kid under two, then you don't have to. Like, there are

1031
00:48:00,993 --> 00:48:03,769
so many men out there. I know some people

1032
00:48:03,817 --> 00:48:06,777
think dating apps are over, they suck or whatever,

1033
00:48:06,881 --> 00:48:09,769
but you really can be picky. And so when

1034
00:48:09,817 --> 00:48:12,817
the women that I work with, if they're like, I don't

1035
00:48:12,841 --> 00:48:15,553
want a guy with kids, then go ahead and click,

1036
00:48:15,609 --> 00:48:18,487
filter out the guy with kids. But you can be as picky

1037
00:48:18,511 --> 00:48:21,431
as you want and it's okay. It's whatever your preference

1038
00:48:21,463 --> 00:48:24,375
is. When I, um, met my husband, I put no

1039
00:48:24,415 --> 00:48:26,207
kids and he didn't have any kids.

1040
00:48:26,271 --> 00:48:26,423
>> Anthony Weaver: I.

1041
00:48:26,439 --> 00:48:29,087
>> De Dee Patterson: But no kids, never married before and

1042
00:48:29,231 --> 00:48:30,875
he popped up. So.

1043
00:48:32,415 --> 00:48:34,115
>> Raima Carpenter: And height filters too, right?

1044
00:48:38,655 --> 00:48:41,015
>> De Dee Patterson: Matter negative. Yeah, you can put

1045
00:48:41,055 --> 00:48:43,903
negative, uh, filters. That's where I recommend you filter it

1046
00:48:43,919 --> 00:48:46,767
as they. Not on your bio, but filter as

1047
00:48:46,791 --> 00:48:48,755
much as you want. That's how I met my husband.

1048
00:48:49,615 --> 00:48:51,795
>> Anthony Weaver: So. So does heighte matter though?

1049
00:48:52,575 --> 00:48:53,847
>> De Dee Patterson: Yes, for me.

1050
00:48:53,951 --> 00:48:54,715
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay.

1051
00:48:55,055 --> 00:48:56,687
>> De Dee Patterson: Oh, we're talking about height.

1052
00:48:56,831 --> 00:48:58,075
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeaheah. Height.

1053
00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:00,367
I know.

1054
00:49:00,391 --> 00:49:03,103
>> De Dee Patterson: We had another question. Um, um, yeah, I put over

1055
00:49:03,159 --> 00:49:06,071
six, but I'm 510 and I want. I wanted a tall

1056
00:49:06,103 --> 00:49:06,679
man.

1057
00:49:06,847 --> 00:49:08,795
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay, Anybody else?

1058
00:49:09,675 --> 00:49:12,571
>> Joy Coffee: Yeah, height does matter. I want you to be my height or taller

1059
00:49:12,763 --> 00:49:15,575
because me looking down my futures, uh, up'full.

1060
00:49:17,635 --> 00:49:20,187
>> Nia Adams: For me, height matters, but you don't have to

1061
00:49:20,211 --> 00:49:23,211
be super tall. But I wouldn't

1062
00:49:23,243 --> 00:49:26,187
want someone like, I'm five four. So just to give it in

1063
00:49:26,211 --> 00:49:29,195
perspective. So I would need them to like,

1064
00:49:29,315 --> 00:49:32,187
be close to me. I'm okay with looking at you directly.

1065
00:49:32,251 --> 00:49:32,971
>> J. Steven: Yeah.

1066
00:49:33,163 --> 00:49:33,587
>> Nia Adams: Equal.

1067
00:49:33,611 --> 00:49:34,547
>> Joy Coffee: A greater.

1068
00:49:34,731 --> 00:49:35,515
>> Nia Adams: Yeah. Okay.

1069
00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:38,395
>> J. Steven: So yeah, m. I am Withia.

1070
00:49:38,815 --> 00:49:41,735
I'm 5 4. On a good day, my doctor will write

1071
00:49:41,775 --> 00:49:44,755
down that I'm 5 5. Because she knows it lo my confidence.

1072
00:49:45,095 --> 00:49:47,863
And I'm um, like if you're

1073
00:49:47,919 --> 00:49:50,919
5 7ish, I ideally like

1074
00:49:50,967 --> 00:49:53,235
5, 8 or above because I wear heels.

1075
00:49:53,735 --> 00:49:56,703
And just like I find myself sometimes looking

1076
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,575
at that missing tooth. I'll find myself just

1077
00:49:59,615 --> 00:50:02,569
looking at the crown of the head. Like I see it

1078
00:50:02,657 --> 00:50:04,937
and I don't know why, but I can see it.

1079
00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:07,905
And it doesn't matter at all. What we

1080
00:50:07,985 --> 00:50:10,793
as explained to me, we are

1081
00:50:10,849 --> 00:50:13,681
genetically, we think that someone that's taller is

1082
00:50:13,713 --> 00:50:16,500
genetically more inclined to be healthier. Um,

1083
00:50:16,825 --> 00:50:19,585
and to. And so you're thinking like you're, you're just

1084
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,313
thinking this person is going to be around

1085
00:50:22,409 --> 00:50:25,009
and they are going to have good health because for whatever reason

1086
00:50:25,057 --> 00:50:27,505
genetics say, um, if you're

1087
00:50:27,545 --> 00:50:30,293
taller you can do better. Um, also

1088
00:50:30,309 --> 00:50:33,237
it's something that comes up in jobs too. So somewhere I

1089
00:50:33,261 --> 00:50:35,757
read that it was like over 95% of

1090
00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:38,090
CEOs are over 6ft. Um,

1091
00:50:38,685 --> 00:50:41,285
and it's just the thing that's out there.

1092
00:50:41,405 --> 00:50:43,637
But those are stereotypes that can be

1093
00:50:43,661 --> 00:50:46,485
broken. So I mean I've heard stereotypes

1094
00:50:46,525 --> 00:50:49,445
about being, you know, shorter, about being black, about being a

1095
00:50:49,485 --> 00:50:51,997
woman and they're not true. So

1096
00:50:52,141 --> 00:50:54,881
I agree with having your preference. That is

1097
00:50:54,993 --> 00:50:57,921
exactly what you should do. Um, but I'm just saying

1098
00:50:57,953 --> 00:51:00,881
we shouldn't blame someone if they do have that preference because

1099
00:51:00,953 --> 00:51:03,345
it comes from what's kind of just trained and you have to work

1100
00:51:03,385 --> 00:51:06,297
through what, what matters to you. Oh,

1101
00:51:06,321 --> 00:51:07,361
and thank you.

1102
00:51:07,553 --> 00:51:08,965
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeeah, you got some shout.

1103
00:51:11,340 --> 00:51:14,193
>> J. Steven: Um, this is a game time decision because I definitely had on a

1104
00:51:14,209 --> 00:51:17,073
white shirt. I said I

1105
00:51:17,089 --> 00:51:20,049
look very thugnificent right now. So I got rid of

1106
00:51:20,057 --> 00:51:22,823
the changeains and pulled on a pink shirt that required no

1107
00:51:22,839 --> 00:51:23,583
ironing.

1108
00:51:23,759 --> 00:51:26,647
>> De Dee Patterson: All right, I wanted to clarify my answer real quick. So I

1109
00:51:26,671 --> 00:51:28,635
said yes, me,

1110
00:51:29,375 --> 00:51:32,327
that mattered for me. But there's plenty of the women

1111
00:51:32,351 --> 00:51:35,039
that I um, coach are like, oh, I don't care about the

1112
00:51:35,127 --> 00:51:37,999
height and that's good for me that was important. It

1113
00:51:38,007 --> 00:51:40,983
was because of. I just wanted to walk around with someone taller than

1114
00:51:40,999 --> 00:51:43,895
me. But it really does not matter. If I met a really, really

1115
00:51:43,935 --> 00:51:46,895
good guy who's just like my husband, a little shorter.

1116
00:51:50,075 --> 00:51:52,963
>> J. Steven: He didn't think you were saying like short guys, you know, short key.

1117
00:51:53,019 --> 00:51:55,963
>> Joy Coffee: Well Anthony, everybody, it matters to

1118
00:51:55,979 --> 00:51:58,611
me. It matters. I'm just asking. Good

1119
00:51:58,643 --> 00:52:01,443
Lord, don't let me throw him away. Please don't let me throw.

1120
00:52:01,499 --> 00:52:02,163
>> Anthony Weaver: Just pick.

1121
00:52:02,259 --> 00:52:04,971
>> Joy Coffee: I know very detail in my

1122
00:52:05,003 --> 00:52:07,707
prayers, dear God, but please, it matters to

1123
00:52:07,731 --> 00:52:08,295
me.

1124
00:52:09,795 --> 00:52:12,613
>> Raima Carpenter: I've definitely dated. Um, so I'm five five the

1125
00:52:12,629 --> 00:52:14,820
shortest of dated is five four. Um,

1126
00:52:15,285 --> 00:52:17,900
however ah, as um,

1127
00:52:18,325 --> 00:52:20,625
as a bodybuilder I

1128
00:52:21,925 --> 00:52:24,720
the guys that were shorter were also um,

1129
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:27,621
very muscular and so um, there were

1130
00:52:27,653 --> 00:52:30,429
different areas of compatibility in that sense. So I

1131
00:52:30,477 --> 00:52:32,845
I and I mean it's again it's been

1132
00:52:32,965 --> 00:52:35,533
decades um, since I was really dating

1133
00:52:35,589 --> 00:52:38,387
but uh, uh, I did date a lot of

1134
00:52:38,581 --> 00:52:40,635
of other um, bodybuilders.

1135
00:52:41,655 --> 00:52:43,880
>> J. Steven: May I add one more thing to this?

1136
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:44,030
>> Raima Carpenter: Um.

1137
00:52:45,935 --> 00:52:48,799
>> J. Steven: Short men sometimes I say it's not a red flag

1138
00:52:48,967 --> 00:52:51,915
it's something that I will look for.

1139
00:52:52,220 --> 00:52:54,943
Um, short men sometimes not

1140
00:52:54,999 --> 00:52:57,991
always. Sure. Kings don't come at me in these comments.

1141
00:52:58,143 --> 00:53:00,959
They can sometimes have a Napoleon complex and

1142
00:53:01,007 --> 00:53:02,487
that is the actual turn off.

1143
00:53:02,591 --> 00:53:02,927
>> Anthony Weaver: Yes.

1144
00:53:02,991 --> 00:53:05,723
>> J. Steven: Not the uh, hype please like

1145
00:53:05,779 --> 00:53:08,655
need to conquer and control everything.

1146
00:53:09,155 --> 00:53:10,975
And that is

1147
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:15,179
it's similar to like sometimes men who are extremely good

1148
00:53:15,227 --> 00:53:17,575
looking for no reason and like

1149
00:53:18,355 --> 00:53:21,139
they'll call out weird stuff about like oh

1150
00:53:21,187 --> 00:53:24,115
your, your bangs aren't even or like they'll take two

1151
00:53:24,195 --> 00:53:27,035
not the bankgs that's just an odd situation.

1152
00:53:27,075 --> 00:53:29,959
I'm not saying itthing wrong the extremely good look at Mr. Model

1153
00:53:30,107 --> 00:53:31,395
but like

1154
00:53:33,575 --> 00:53:35,967
how this shows up in your personality is the red

1155
00:53:36,031 --> 00:53:36,635
flag.

1156
00:53:37,215 --> 00:53:39,595
>> Anthony Weaver: Hey Renee. Hey Renee's up in

1157
00:53:40,415 --> 00:53:42,235
girl right?

1158
00:53:43,735 --> 00:53:46,183
Good shout out to the finom family.

1159
00:53:46,359 --> 00:53:48,423
>> Nia Adams: So can I address some of the comments?

1160
00:53:48,599 --> 00:53:51,399
>> Anthony Weaver: Oh yeah, let's go. I can uh, put him up. Which one you want?

1161
00:53:51,487 --> 00:53:54,415
>> Nia Adams: So first he said he asked what muscle

1162
00:53:54,575 --> 00:53:55,703
he asked that question.

1163
00:53:55,799 --> 00:53:57,957
>> Anthony Weaver: Oh yeah, right.

1164
00:53:58,020 --> 00:54:00,597
>> Nia Adams: Um, and then he said six figure six feet.

1165
00:54:00,661 --> 00:54:02,240
That's um, um.

1166
00:54:02,805 --> 00:54:03,757
>> De Dee Patterson: What do d he say?

1167
00:54:03,901 --> 00:54:06,357
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, six feet and six figures

1168
00:54:06,421 --> 00:54:07,181
equals.

1169
00:54:07,373 --> 00:54:10,077
>> Nia Adams: And I say and protect that's a lie.

1170
00:54:10,181 --> 00:54:12,145
Six figures is nothing nowadays.

1171
00:54:13,965 --> 00:54:14,421
>> J. Steven: That is.

1172
00:54:14,453 --> 00:54:17,173
>> Nia Adams: Not equal provide no more maybe back in the

1173
00:54:17,189 --> 00:54:20,181
day but that does not equal in way back

1174
00:54:20,333 --> 00:54:22,865
and your six figures doesn't equate to my six bigures.

1175
00:54:22,905 --> 00:54:25,809
>> Anthony Weaver: Just because that part especially

1176
00:54:25,857 --> 00:54:26,937
without a budget we know you

1177
00:54:26,961 --> 00:54:29,849
need's my

1178
00:54:29,897 --> 00:54:30,313
favorite.

1179
00:54:30,369 --> 00:54:32,405
>> J. Steven: Wor bud.

1180
00:54:34,865 --> 00:54:37,593
>> Raima Carpenter: I probably with I don't know if I'm with the right group of people but

1181
00:54:37,689 --> 00:54:40,601
again for my kids I'm less concerned with

1182
00:54:40,633 --> 00:54:43,553
how much their partners make than I am about how they steward what they

1183
00:54:43,569 --> 00:54:46,457
make so absolutely.

1184
00:54:46,641 --> 00:54:48,845
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah we say m

1185
00:54:49,265 --> 00:54:52,009
right My husbandire.

1186
00:54:52,057 --> 00:54:52,645
>> Raima Carpenter: Me.

1187
00:54:54,665 --> 00:54:57,449
>> Anthony Weaver: All right since we it s getting into that that dark

1188
00:54:57,497 --> 00:54:59,681
time I want to go on and keep it spicy.

1189
00:54:59,753 --> 00:55:02,585
It's the last question U uh, let me share

1190
00:55:02,625 --> 00:55:05,089
my screen here to kind of kick off the conversation.

1191
00:55:05,217 --> 00:55:07,925
>> Nia Adams: I'm so sorry but that last comment.

1192
00:55:08,225 --> 00:55:09,405
>> Raima Carpenter: Read read.

1193
00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:12,921
>> Joy Coffee: Them short m men who.

1194
00:55:12,953 --> 00:55:15,749
>> Nia Adams: Have a Napoleon complex they do be having stubby

1195
00:55:15,797 --> 00:55:16,625
fingers.

1196
00:55:17,645 --> 00:55:20,269
>> Anthony Weaver: Did I miss the stubby fingers? Oh,

1197
00:55:20,397 --> 00:55:20,760
Erica.

1198
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,133
>> Nia Adams: Uh, Erica.

1199
00:55:22,309 --> 00:55:23,285
>> Anthony Weaver: Oh, Erica.

1200
00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:24,173
>> J. Steven: Yes.

1201
00:55:24,349 --> 00:55:24,957
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay.

1202
00:55:25,061 --> 00:55:26,613
>> De Dee Patterson: She's not l about that.

1203
00:55:26,669 --> 00:55:29,265
>> Nia Adams: They do be having those stubby fingers.

1204
00:55:29,645 --> 00:55:30,101
>> J. Steven: It is.

1205
00:55:30,133 --> 00:55:33,117
>> Nia Adams: I don't know what it is, but until she said that, I

1206
00:55:33,141 --> 00:55:34,029
didn't think about that.

1207
00:55:34,077 --> 00:55:34,440
>> J. Steven: But, uh.

1208
00:55:34,517 --> 00:55:37,265
>> Anthony Weaver: Very true'hilarious

1209
00:55:39,165 --> 00:55:40,877
I mean, I don't look at other guy's fingers.

1210
00:55:40,901 --> 00:55:43,323
>> J. Steven: I. I'm

1211
00:55:43,419 --> 00:55:45,295
you experiences.

1212
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,335
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, let me know if y'all can hear this because I've been

1213
00:55:49,155 --> 00:55:51,251
working on myself. Y'all watch Sex in the City, right?

1214
00:55:51,363 --> 00:55:53,955
>> J. Steven: Please tell me all season the new series.

1215
00:55:54,075 --> 00:55:56,680
>> Anthony Weaver: I know, right? It's so good. Um, um.

1216
00:55:56,739 --> 00:55:59,627
So anyway, I mean, it's

1217
00:55:59,651 --> 00:56:01,615
from season one, so.

1218
00:56:01,995 --> 00:56:04,891
>> Raima Carpenter: Man to the ladies room. Love life

1219
00:56:04,923 --> 00:56:07,663
with James. Here you are. We've been looking for you everywhere.

1220
00:56:07,859 --> 00:56:10,555
So how is everything?

1221
00:56:11,055 --> 00:56:12,463
>> Nia Adams: She means of you and James.

1222
00:56:12,559 --> 00:56:13,555
>> Raima Carpenter: Done it yet?

1223
00:56:13,975 --> 00:56:15,995
>> De Dee Patterson: Mmm. Mhm. And?

1224
00:56:17,815 --> 00:56:18,795
>> Joy Coffee: It's nice.

1225
00:56:19,335 --> 00:56:21,035
>> Raima Carpenter: I'm so happy for you.

1226
00:56:24,655 --> 00:56:25,135
>> Anthony Weaver: Sweetie.

1227
00:56:25,175 --> 00:56:25,375
>> J. Steven: What?

1228
00:56:25,415 --> 00:56:26,755
>> Anthony Weaver: What? What is it?

1229
00:56:27,455 --> 00:56:28,315
>> J. Steven: Nothing.

1230
00:56:31,495 --> 00:56:34,225
>> Anthony Weaver: The acting. Hey,

1231
00:56:34,765 --> 00:56:35,629
what's going on?

1232
00:56:35,677 --> 00:56:36,705
>> De Dee Patterson: Why are you crying?

1233
00:56:37,725 --> 00:56:39,365
>> J. Steven: James has a small dick.

1234
00:56:39,485 --> 00:56:42,381
>> Raima Carpenter: Oh, well, it's not the end of the world.

1235
00:56:42,493 --> 00:56:43,589
>> De Dee Patterson: It's really small.

1236
00:56:43,677 --> 00:56:44,373
>> Anthony Weaver: How small?

1237
00:56:44,469 --> 00:56:45,077
>> De Dee Patterson: Too small.

1238
00:56:45,141 --> 00:56:46,525
>> Raima Carpenter: Well, size isn't everything.

1239
00:56:46,645 --> 00:56:48,933
>> De Dee Patterson: Three inches? Well,

1240
00:56:49,069 --> 00:56:49,745
hard.

1241
00:56:51,565 --> 00:56:52,781
>> Raima Carpenter: Is he a good kisser?

1242
00:56:52,853 --> 00:56:55,501
>> De Dee Patterson: Oh, who the fuck cares? His stick is like a

1243
00:56:55,533 --> 00:56:58,229
gherkin. It's so terrible.

1244
00:56:58,277 --> 00:56:58,853
Listen to me.

1245
00:56:58,869 --> 00:56:59,825
>> Anthony Weaver: I'm a bad.

1246
00:57:00,285 --> 00:57:01,445
>> Nia Adams: Don't beat yourself up.

1247
00:57:01,525 --> 00:57:04,045
>> De Dee Patterson: You had certain expectations and you're disappointed.

1248
00:57:04,165 --> 00:57:07,133
Why? Why? Why does he have to

1249
00:57:07,149 --> 00:57:10,093
have a small dick? I really like

1250
00:57:10,149 --> 00:57:10,629
him.

1251
00:57:10,757 --> 00:57:13,757
>> Raima Carpenter: I thought you loved him. Well, oh,

1252
00:57:13,821 --> 00:57:16,429
look, we've all been there, that's for sure.

1253
00:57:16,557 --> 00:57:17,693
>> Nia Adams: I was once with a guy the.

1254
00:57:17,709 --> 00:57:20,101
>> Raima Carpenter: Size of one of those little miniature golf pencils.

1255
00:57:20,213 --> 00:57:21,397
>> De Dee Patterson: Couldn't tell if he was trying to.

1256
00:57:21,421 --> 00:57:22,945
>> Nia Adams: Fuck me or erase me.

1257
00:57:26,285 --> 00:57:27,325
>> De Dee Patterson: I'm sorry.

1258
00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:28,253
>> Anthony Weaver: It's funny.

1259
00:57:28,349 --> 00:57:31,213
>> De Dee Patterson: Let's not lose perspective. There are ways to

1260
00:57:31,229 --> 00:57:33,981
work around this. But I don't want to work around it.

1261
00:57:34,133 --> 00:57:37,077
I love a big dick. I love it inside of

1262
00:57:37,101 --> 00:57:37,237
me.

1263
00:57:37,261 --> 00:57:38,173
>> Raima Carpenter: I love looking at it.

1264
00:57:38,189 --> 00:57:39,985
>> De Dee Patterson: I love everything about it.

1265
00:57:41,485 --> 00:57:43,385
When I blow him, it's like

1266
00:57:44,445 --> 00:57:47,221
nothing. Nothing.

1267
00:57:47,413 --> 00:57:49,105
Can you talk to him about it?

1268
00:57:49,405 --> 00:57:50,145
>> J. Steven: No.

1269
00:57:50,965 --> 00:57:53,625
>> De Dee Patterson: It's the only thing we can't talk about.

1270
00:57:56,205 --> 00:57:57,625
>> J. Steven: What am I gonna do?

1271
00:57:59,005 --> 00:57:59,980
>> Raima Carpenter: How is he with his tongue?

1272
00:57:59,980 --> 00:58:02,629
>> Anthony Weaver: Um. All right, so

1273
00:58:02,797 --> 00:58:03,785
what's that?

1274
00:58:04,205 --> 00:58:04,997
>> De Dee Patterson: Anthony?

1275
00:58:05,141 --> 00:58:05,829
>> Anthony Weaver: Yes.

1276
00:58:05,997 --> 00:58:07,213
>> Raima Carpenter: Why'd you do that to me?

1277
00:58:07,309 --> 00:58:09,885
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. Call the k kids

1278
00:58:09,925 --> 00:58:11,501
came ca my pearls.

1279
00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:15,745
Oayee

1280
00:58:16,165 --> 00:58:19,060
expected that, but, uh,

1281
00:58:19,060 --> 00:58:21,987
I figured, you know, if we talk about house sizes and all

1282
00:58:22,011 --> 00:58:24,215
that stuff like that, does that really matter

1283
00:58:25,115 --> 00:58:27,939
to consider? If it's going to go any further

1284
00:58:28,107 --> 00:58:31,019
then obviously the third date rule, if you guys

1285
00:58:31,067 --> 00:58:33,867
have your rules, does that matter?

1286
00:58:33,931 --> 00:58:35,455
To continue on the conversation.

1287
00:58:41,275 --> 00:58:42,175
Okay.

1288
00:58:46,295 --> 00:58:48,895
>> J. Steven: Anthony, you want us on video in

1289
00:58:48,935 --> 00:58:49,955
perpetuity.

1290
00:58:53,175 --> 00:58:53,943
Okay.

1291
00:58:54,079 --> 00:58:54,535
>> Anthony Weaver: All right.

1292
00:58:54,575 --> 00:58:56,435
>> J. Steven: Well bringsh.

1293
00:59:00,015 --> 00:59:02,927
>> Anthony Weaver: You sayer. Okay. So he

1294
00:59:02,951 --> 00:59:05,839
said help us out. Hey, uh, look, y'all could take phone

1295
00:59:05,887 --> 00:59:07,287
calls. Y'all can call in if y'all.

1296
00:59:07,351 --> 00:59:08,995
>> J. Steven: He said play the cricket sound.

1297
00:59:10,465 --> 00:59:12,445
>> Nia Adams: He said play the cricket sound.

1298
00:59:13,585 --> 00:59:14,401
>> Raima Carpenter: Right?

1299
00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,365
>> Nia Adams: What's up the finance rebel?

1300
00:59:17,145 --> 00:59:20,097
>> Anthony Weaver: Hello. My. Yeah, because I yell at K. I was like

1301
00:59:20,121 --> 00:59:22,845
yo, thanks for u leaving uh, me hanging.

1302
00:59:25,065 --> 00:59:26,049
That's cool.

1303
00:59:26,217 --> 00:59:28,165
>> Nia Adams: What you got your response,

1304
00:59:28,585 --> 00:59:29,325
right?

1305
00:59:29,665 --> 00:59:31,753
>> Raima Carpenter: My uh, um, I for.

1306
00:59:31,929 --> 00:59:34,817
Okay. For my 14 year old. We have

1307
00:59:34,841 --> 00:59:37,121
not talked about about this specifically

1308
00:59:37,273 --> 00:59:40,105
but um, she has heard

1309
00:59:40,145 --> 00:59:42,805
probably more detail than she would care to.

1310
00:59:43,010 --> 00:59:45,985
Um, but that her virtue matters

1311
00:59:46,145 --> 00:59:49,033
and it's a beautiful thing to, to

1312
00:59:49,089 --> 00:59:52,025
preserve for her future husband and to have him in

1313
00:59:52,065 --> 00:59:54,921
mind. Um, because she may. She's going to want

1314
00:59:54,953 --> 00:59:57,953
to and it's natural for her to want to. Right now she's

1315
00:59:57,969 --> 01:00:00,913
still kind of grossed out by it, but as a 14 year old, like

1316
01:00:00,929 --> 01:00:03,815
your body is designed to want to and that's okay.

1317
01:00:03,935 --> 01:00:06,855
But I, but the optimal for you to choose not

1318
01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:09,847
to and then we're praying that your future husband is

1319
01:00:09,911 --> 01:00:12,607
also waiting for you. And then if

1320
01:00:12,631 --> 01:00:15,170
you, if you don't um,

1321
01:00:15,895 --> 01:00:18,871
engage before a marriage, then it

1322
01:00:18,903 --> 01:00:21,871
wouldn't matter. Uh, something to keep in mind

1323
01:00:21,903 --> 01:00:24,335
too is that if you have more than five

1324
01:00:24,415 --> 01:00:27,247
partners, women that, that can impact your ability to

1325
01:00:27,271 --> 01:00:29,325
pair bar. And so there are

1326
01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:32,045
um, long term psychological

1327
01:00:32,505 --> 01:00:35,489
consequences of choosing to

1328
01:00:35,577 --> 01:00:38,553
engage in the behaviors. Just because men can do whatever women can do,

1329
01:00:38,569 --> 01:00:41,393
whatever men can do. Um, I will add on to that from a

1330
01:00:41,409 --> 01:00:44,329
Christian worldview that 100% um, um, you

1331
01:00:44,337 --> 01:00:47,289
know, God can restore your virtue. I

1332
01:00:47,297 --> 01:00:50,257
don't mean your physical body, but certainly your ability to bond with your

1333
01:00:50,281 --> 01:00:52,830
potential husband. So with your future husband. So u.

1334
01:00:52,830 --> 01:00:55,621
Um, it's not like, you know, all doom and

1335
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:58,565
gloom, but there are consequences to these

1336
01:00:58,605 --> 01:01:01,213
choices. I'll leave it at

1337
01:01:01,229 --> 01:01:01,645
that.

1338
01:01:01,765 --> 01:01:04,677
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay. Thank you for being brave to

1339
01:01:04,701 --> 01:01:05,705
take that one on.

1340
01:01:06,285 --> 01:01:08,385
So well,

1341
01:01:08,725 --> 01:01:11,541
guess this is coming to the last part of the

1342
01:01:11,573 --> 01:01:14,325
show. Uh, I do want to first thank you all for coming

1343
01:01:14,365 --> 01:01:17,197
on to this lovely panel. Please give a round of

1344
01:01:17,221 --> 01:01:19,065
applause to yourselves

1345
01:01:24,165 --> 01:01:26,221
and then I do want to give a round applause to

1346
01:01:26,293 --> 01:01:28,145
everybody for,

1347
01:01:29,125 --> 01:01:31,925
for showing up today. Thank you guys. The audience, you guys

1348
01:01:31,965 --> 01:01:34,861
been great. Um, let's give a shout out to

1349
01:01:34,973 --> 01:01:37,585
all the folks. Let's see, we got Dr. S.

1350
01:01:38,565 --> 01:01:41,445
Great person. I think we met a couple times. I Think

1351
01:01:41,485 --> 01:01:43,905
con. Um, as

1352
01:01:44,445 --> 01:01:47,357
Cash would Mark. I haven't. I don't think

1353
01:01:47,381 --> 01:01:50,337
I've probably met in person. I can't think of. Can't bring

1354
01:01:50,361 --> 01:01:52,577
a face right now. Shout out to

1355
01:01:52,601 --> 01:01:55,289
Erica. We got

1356
01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:58,281
Hugo Kamari. Thanks for

1357
01:01:58,313 --> 01:02:00,793
coming through. Defin a Gott Check his show if you haven't

1358
01:02:00,849 --> 01:02:03,737
already. Um, um, who else we had up in here?

1359
01:02:03,761 --> 01:02:06,713
We had Lisa J. Stocks, who talks about stocks

1360
01:02:06,849 --> 01:02:08,849
a lot. And, oh,

1361
01:02:08,977 --> 01:02:11,745
Renee. We have Renee. And then

1362
01:02:11,825 --> 01:02:14,357
also Paula. Paula was in

1363
01:02:14,381 --> 01:02:16,677
here with. Talk us with

1364
01:02:16,741 --> 01:02:17,437
Paula.

1365
01:02:17,581 --> 01:02:18,293
>> Nia Adams: Okay.

1366
01:02:18,429 --> 01:02:21,165
>> Anthony Weaver: Yeah, she's big in a podcasting

1367
01:02:21,245 --> 01:02:23,345
aren. She's like, all over the place.

1368
01:02:24,205 --> 01:02:27,093
Um, um, so do you want to say that?

1369
01:02:27,149 --> 01:02:29,613
Thanks, everybody. And before we go,

1370
01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:32,613
definitely got to let everybody know where you guys are from,

1371
01:02:32,669 --> 01:02:35,517
how they can keep in touch. Who wants to go first? Oh, it looks like

1372
01:02:35,541 --> 01:02:36,265
it's free.

1373
01:02:38,605 --> 01:02:41,493
>> Free Green: Well, thank you so much for having me. And, um, um, you

1374
01:02:41,509 --> 01:02:44,373
can Find me on YouTube at Gage street

1375
01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:47,261
society against your financial safe space, talking about

1376
01:02:47,293 --> 01:02:49,465
all things money and you.

1377
01:02:49,925 --> 01:02:50,825
>> Anthony Weaver: Awesome.

1378
01:02:51,285 --> 01:02:52,785
>> J. Steven: Take your ass to bed.

1379
01:02:56,125 --> 01:02:58,301
>> Nia Adams: It's time for me to go be with you guys.

1380
01:02:58,493 --> 01:03:01,157
>> Anthony Weaver: Okay''play some. Play some

1381
01:03:01,181 --> 01:03:03,120
outro music so we can, um.

1382
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:06,665
>> Nia Adams: You won't be a finome. I remember how.

1383
01:03:07,125 --> 01:03:07,280
>> J. Steven: Huh?

1384
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:07,320
>> Anthony Weaver: Uh,

1385
01:03:10,265 --> 01:03:13,153
all right, so next, let's see, we, uh, got

1386
01:03:13,209 --> 01:03:13,805
joy.

1387
01:03:16,585 --> 01:03:18,805
>> Joy Coffee: Where you all can find me at coffee with Joy.

1388
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:21,365
Again, talk to podcast.

1389
01:03:24,025 --> 01:03:25,169
If you love to be a guest.

1390
01:03:25,217 --> 01:03:26,525
>> J. Steven: Please make sure that you.

1391
01:03:26,945 --> 01:03:28,885
>> Joy Coffee: Or you can email us at the coffee.

1392
01:03:31,705 --> 01:03:32,565
>> Anthony Weaver: Awome

1393
01:03:34,465 --> 01:03:35,553
cheeky. There we

1394
01:03:35,569 --> 01:03:37,990
goa.

1395
01:03:37,990 --> 01:03:40,505
>> Raima Carpenter: Um, Carpenter, you can find me on

1396
01:03:40,545 --> 01:03:42,953
Instagram at ohawks and pearls. You can shoot

1397
01:03:42,969 --> 01:03:45,881
meemailhawl.do.com.

1398
01:03:46,073 --> 01:03:48,685
i am a personal and leadership coach.

1399
01:03:49,185 --> 01:03:51,393
>> De Dee Patterson: About all the things in your professional.

1400
01:03:51,449 --> 01:03:54,017
>> Raima Carpenter: And personal life and make sure that your goals are aligned with your

1401
01:03:54,041 --> 01:03:54,725
values.

1402
01:03:55,625 --> 01:03:58,617
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, thank you, Kamar, for letting me know

1403
01:03:58,641 --> 01:04:01,045
the sound was too high. Uh, sorry about that,

1404
01:04:03,135 --> 01:04:05,855
Jay. Get you your, ah, air horns as your outro

1405
01:04:05,895 --> 01:04:07,715
as well. As always.

1406
01:04:13,215 --> 01:04:16,151
>> J. Steven: Thank you. Thank you all. I enjoyed this panel with you all.

1407
01:04:16,183 --> 01:04:18,863
You have, uh, really great advice and perspective, so

1408
01:04:18,959 --> 01:04:21,847
thanks for let me be part of it. I am Jay Steven.

1409
01:04:21,911 --> 01:04:24,887
You can find me on Instagrams at

1410
01:04:24,911 --> 01:04:27,773
richge, like mymelanin and then my website,

1411
01:04:27,829 --> 01:04:30,773
rl mm, which is the acronym of rich. Like my

1412
01:04:30,789 --> 01:04:33,221
melanin. Rlmmfinancial m dot

1413
01:04:33,253 --> 01:04:33,825
com.

1414
01:04:34,525 --> 01:04:36,305
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, thank you,

1415
01:04:38,045 --> 01:04:38,905
Dee Dee.

1416
01:04:40,125 --> 01:04:42,785
>> De Dee Patterson: So the best place to find me is on

1417
01:04:43,085 --> 01:04:45,709
Facebook. If you do a search for love and

1418
01:04:45,757 --> 01:04:48,677
dating secrets, I pop right up. And I

1419
01:04:48,701 --> 01:04:51,221
do like a Monday live every

1420
01:04:51,293 --> 01:04:53,425
Monday. A lot of good information.

1421
01:04:53,965 --> 01:04:56,429
And if you want to find me on Instagram, Ded

1422
01:04:56,477 --> 01:04:59,061
Patterson with a 0 instead of O because someone

1423
01:04:59,093 --> 01:05:01,677
took the o. So that's where you can find

1424
01:05:01,701 --> 01:05:02,265
me.

1425
01:05:03,525 --> 01:05:05,405
>> Anthony Weaver: All right, last but not

1426
01:05:05,445 --> 01:05:07,260
leastep, I'm.

1427
01:05:07,260 --> 01:05:10,181
>> Nia Adams: Um, Nia Adams, the Money Moves motivator. You can find me right

1428
01:05:10,213 --> 01:05:13,065
here on YouTube at Money Perspectives.

1429
01:05:13,380 --> 01:05:16,205
Um, the executive founder of Perspectives, a financial

1430
01:05:16,285 --> 01:05:19,021
education brand. And I drop a video

1431
01:05:19,133 --> 01:05:20,145
every Tuesday.

1432
01:05:21,615 --> 01:05:23,035
>> Anthony Weaver: You're author?

1433
01:05:23,455 --> 01:05:25,431
>> Nia Adams: I'm an author, speaker,

1434
01:05:25,543 --> 01:05:28,351
consultant. I do a lot of things.

1435
01:05:28,543 --> 01:05:30,355
>> Anthony Weaver: Yes, a lot of things.

1436
01:05:32,535 --> 01:05:35,383
All right, everybody, I want to just thank you all so much for

1437
01:05:35,399 --> 01:05:38,000
this. This has been an awesome opportunity. Uh,

1438
01:05:38,111 --> 01:05:40,567
ladies, if you don't mind holding on once I play the

1439
01:05:40,591 --> 01:05:43,410
outro, just want to say thank you again. Um,

1440
01:05:43,895 --> 01:05:46,831
and thank you, everybody. And please, if you

1441
01:05:46,903 --> 01:05:49,719
haven't already, leave, uh, some comments.

1442
01:05:49,767 --> 01:05:52,655
And I'LOOK forward to actually having more panels like this.

1443
01:05:52,695 --> 01:05:55,551
So let us know, uh, if this is something that you guys

1444
01:05:55,583 --> 01:05:58,375
would like to see more of, I can bring on more people.

1445
01:05:58,455 --> 01:06:01,295
Hopefully, I will not be the only guy this

1446
01:06:01,335 --> 01:06:04,007
time around to talk about dating

1447
01:06:04,111 --> 01:06:06,823
and having this fun time by myself.

1448
01:06:06,999 --> 01:06:09,715
All right, thank you all. Have a good one.

1449
01:06:10,015 --> 01:06:12,375
We out. Peace. Hold on.