Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, licensed life coach and

companion on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you

feel good, I hope you feel safe and supported, loved, maybe even

excited ambitious.

Ah, I needed to pause for a second it's it's been quite a

while since I posted an episode and I'm very happy to be back

and to connect with you. Not going to bore you with any

details. If you have questions about what happened in my life,

feel free to reach out and message me at Aurora Eggert on

Facebook.

Today I want to talk about grieving madness. Ah, when we

experience loss of a loved one. And I'm pretty sure we all have

experienced that, at some point in our life.

We lost a partner, we lost a relationship we lost grip

on to our sanity, we lost a job we lost an opportunity whatever

it is what we lost. It leaves a void. It leaves us feeling

powerless, helpless,

desperate. And what I realize now is that even if two people

are grieving over the same loss it is a very different

experience for each individual involved. There's some people

who jump into action and to the to dues and to how to organize

and manage and find relief in action to the point that you can

become very restless and then there's people who fall into

deep hole into darkness close to say paralysis many depression

are full on depression a state where it is hard to get up in

the morning. It is hard to take care of yourself. It is hard to

cook food get the garbage out and meet your basic needs. And

the very juicy interesting part is if two people or more people

involved are trying to cope at the same time with the same loss

but have very different tools available and very different.

Like default states so to say. This is drama, madness, Insanity

brewing up when people with different approaches live

together or are really in relationship with each other. It

is very important to find your own way to cope with grief. You

take your time you have your default state you know Do what's

best for you. And it is very important to at the same time,

not abandon yourself. So what I was able to do not every day,

but most of the days was to focus on the very basics.

shower, brush your hair, for the people out there who have long

hair. Maybe you experienced this before that when you feel sad,

depressed, anxious, desperate, you stop taking care of your

hair, you wash it, you brush it, you groom when you feel great,

and as soon as you don't feel good, you start neglecting your

long hair.

You eat poorly, you only snack you let your household kind of

go. You don't engage in the basic cleaning and getting the

garbage out anymore. Everything is hard, everything feels like

a huge drain. So I was paying attention to that whenever I had

thoughts coming up. Now I don't feel like dressing up properly.

Like it's it was minus 20 degrees here at times and I just

said, Fuck it. Let's be cold. I'm just gonna go out and my

night dress and a little jacket. I was able to rein myself in and

to get dressed properly. Just a side example. Same goes for your

dishes, your laundry there was a voice and energy coming up

whispering in my ear. Come on, you can let this go. You don't

have to do laundry now. You don't have to put the dishes

away. And I was able to tell myself No, this is going to make

it even worse if my space is dirty and not orderly. Another

attend cleansed leanness freak and orderliness freak or however

you say that but there is some kind of orderliness and my

household. If I let that go, it's going to make me feel even

worse. And then there's people that reach out and want to

support you. And some people are very supportive, and check in on

you and share words of comfort with you. And then there's

people who approach you and say things that are very

insensitive, and make it even worse because you think, oh,

okay, I'm gonna open up to that personnel and then they open

their mouth and you feel even worse afterwards. And to find

out okay, what what feels good right now? And what are you not

ready to hear right now. Then there's people that you think

you can count on for support, and they are dealing with their

own life with their own stuff, and they cannot be there for you

and to not, again, abandon yourself and think that those

are bad people, selfish people. Write to to go even deeper into

victim mentality. Because of other people's behavior, is also

a very easy thing to do and to refrain from that takes

awareness.

And then there's people out there who out of nowhere offer

you the greatest support and time and energy and

you feel resistant to accepting it because you don't know if you

can give back and to keep your heart open and to receive that

support. can feel very counterintuitive at times but it

It's very worth it to accept it and to keep your heart open. And

then there's people who offer support where you think, but I

don't need that kind of support. But to know that we're all

together in this and to see that this is a person offering

support from their map of the world, they want to connect,

they want to be supportive, even though it's not really something

that you need at this point, but it

feels good. Be open to receive it. Be open to see that there's

so many people out there who love you and want to support you

and feel your pain.

I just want to feel into this a little. And find out if there's

more I want to share. Yeah, I think what I want to share is

that we're all going through loss at some point in our lives,

and you cannot be prepared for it. Because most of the time it

takes you off guard, it surprises you and then to take

the days, hour by hour, and to not abandon yourself. And to

know that you don't need to move on, but just get through it was

one of the biggest advice that I received during those last 10

days. I'm going to leave you with that. And want to express

how grateful I am to have you listening on the other side. And

to get to know you better through every conversation we

have, and to let you know that you're not alone in this. I'm

also sharing that about a year, a couple of weeks ago, and we're

finishing up to get it ready. In the month of November, I'm

certainly going to host events and hold space for people who

want to sit in silence and process loss and allow

themselves to grieve. And during the other month, I will come up

with a theme for each month. And very excited to show up in this

world. And that way to have you out in my space and to connect

with you to see you grow and heal and most importantly to

offer a space for you where you can totally be yourself and

reconnect to your true nature. But you'll hear more about this.

In the future. You can always ask questions or make requests.

If there's a group of friends of people of family out there who

want to connect through a topic in my space out here, just let

me know. All right. I'll be out there very soon again. Until

then, take good care of yourself. Bye bye