Welcome to Love Notes from Rhonda.

And I want to talk about flexibility.

You may have heard the phrase in the past, open mindset versus fixed mindset.

That is basically open mindset is being fearless, right?

Being willing to be flexible, being willing to be open minded, et cetera.

And a fixed mindset is one rigid that is caught in fear.

So I want you to start thinking about these phrases that you hear out in the world, right?

Like open and fixed.

Well, open is freedom and fearlessness.

Right?

And fixed isn't fear.

If you're fixed, that means you're rigid.

When you're rigid, that means you're probably protecting yourself.

If you're protecting yourself, that means you're afraid, right?

So one of the key aspects that we discover about ourselves as we become more and more fearless is that we become more flexible.

Now, that doesn't mean wishy washy.

A lot of people think, oh, flexibility, that's wishy washy.

No, it's not wishy washy.

It's just flexible.

It means that you don't have to have everything your way, the way that you think it has to be because your safety is internal rather than based on only external circumstances.

So when we get rigid, it's because we don't feel safe.

When we get fixed mindset, it means that we don't have openings to shift, to change, to become more of who we're meant to be.

We are in a safety mode and we want to stay safe.

And we're not willing to take the stretchers can dies that we need in order to create the internal safety that we need in order to live the life our soul intended.

So I want you to be thinking about flexibility.

Again, true flexibility is not wishy washy.

We all probably like, oh, I hate wishy washy.

People like, I don't care.

What do you want to do?

I don't care.

What do you want to do?

I don't care.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

That's not flexible for most of us.

Now, for some people, I don't know is a very empowering statement.

If you're somebody who says, I know, I know, I know all the time, and you know who you are if you find yourself, yeah, I know that, I know that, I know that.

Then that actually is rigid because you're not actually willing to learn and embody.

You're just knowing for the sake of knowing, but you're actually not living it.

So you're in the rigidity of knowing is what your goal is rather than embodying.

So we wanna be attentive to, I know, I know, I know.

And then of course, for those people that say, I know, I know, it's really impactful to say, I don't know.

That is flexibility.

That is being willing to tell the truth.

That is saying where you are.

You know what I'm saying?

I know.

But you know what?

My life does not exhibit that.

So I guess, I don't know.

I'm willing not to know.

I'm willing to figure this out.

I guess my strategies in the past have not worked.

I don't know.

And then we both know the people that are like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

And don't stand anywhere.

And they use it as well, I'm just trying to be loving and I wanna put you first.

And I just, you know, I don't wanna decide.

It doesn't really matter to me.

And that's all.

No, no.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Those people got to practice knowing.

Gotta practice saying what they think, what they feel, what they want, what they need.

We want the ability and the choice to say, I know when we know and I don't know when you don't, rather than saying automatically, unconsciously, mindlessly, I don't know and or I know.

Do you see how the phrase I don't know and I know can keep us trapped in fear?

So we wanna be able to have the flexibility to say, well, you know, I know this and I know it 20% you know there's a quote.

And again, gosh darn it, I'm butcher it as I normally butcher quotes, is when you're a beginner, you know, you don't know.

But as you start learning, you think you know everything.

And then as you achieve more wisdom and become masterful, you actually know that you don't know.

So that's the normal journey for people, right?

They don't know.

Then they get a little expertise, they get a little mastery, they start understanding things and then they know.

But knowing in that place actually leads.

You're stuck still like you're not a full human being until you get back to the, oh, I know enough to know that I don't know.

I know enough now that I don't know.

So there is a space of I don't know.

And even the most fervent knowing, that is flexibility.

That is being willing to listen to others, that is being willing to listen to yourself that is willing to be in relationship and maybe you don't know know what you know, don't know what you don't know.

And be willing to be wrong about everything.

Until next time, be fearless.

I love you.