1 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,208 But I'm so honored to kick off this the series. 2 00:00:11,264 --> 00:00:12,344 And listen, I'm. 3 00:00:12,392 --> 00:00:13,432 I'm not stupid. 4 00:00:13,496 --> 00:00:16,520 I understand women preachers are controversial. 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,688 So I've heard. 6 00:00:17,864 --> 00:00:21,160 But I want to explain to you, especially if you're visiting here 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,872 or you're online, maybe you're trolling, I'm not sure. 8 00:00:24,976 --> 00:00:28,872 But we believe in strong male headship. 9 00:00:29,016 --> 00:00:31,932 And I'm doing this to honor my husband out of obedience. 10 00:00:31,976 --> 00:00:33,380 Obedience that was asked of me. 11 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:34,580 And so I'm not up here. 12 00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:38,692 I don't have, like, lofty crazy, you know, like, ambition like 13 00:00:38,716 --> 00:00:39,044 that. 14 00:00:39,132 --> 00:00:42,164 Like, I'm here to serve our church today. 15 00:00:42,332 --> 00:00:43,732 So I'm honored to do it. 16 00:00:43,756 --> 00:00:46,516 And thank you guys for receiving this word from me. 17 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,204 So. 18 00:00:47,372 --> 00:00:51,092 And for those of you who are scripture counters, I have 21. 19 00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:52,880 I already counted for you. 20 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:54,340 I know. 21 00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:57,236 Isn't it a slow news day when somebody's like watching your sermon 22 00:00:57,268 --> 00:00:58,836 on slow mo, counting your scripture? 23 00:00:58,868 --> 00:00:59,028 Yeah. 24 00:00:59,044 --> 00:00:59,812 Okay, there's 21. 25 00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:01,012 I did the work for you. 26 00:01:01,196 --> 00:01:05,440 But we are so excited to kick off this series today. 27 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,384 But before we. 28 00:01:06,472 --> 00:01:09,376 Anytime we talk about marriage, I wanna just give a couple 29 00:01:09,408 --> 00:01:10,304 of disclaimers. 30 00:01:10,352 --> 00:01:17,952 Is I understand that we have single people, single, ready to mingle. 31 00:01:18,016 --> 00:01:20,912 Look around, look around. 32 00:01:21,096 --> 00:01:25,168 We have single people, we have married people, we have divorced 33 00:01:25,264 --> 00:01:28,176 people, and we have people who don't wanna be married. 34 00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:28,448 Right? 35 00:01:28,504 --> 00:01:30,064 And I guess, praise God. 36 00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:34,896 But I just wanna give a couple of disclaimers is that when we're 37 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,508 talk and we're talking about communication and we're talking about 38 00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:42,348 covenant and staying in your marriage and not giving up, I want 39 00:01:42,404 --> 00:01:48,572 you to understand that abuse and addiction is incredibly complicated. 40 00:01:48,716 --> 00:01:52,796 And so I do not want you to weaponize this sermon of me telling 41 00:01:52,828 --> 00:01:56,108 you to stay in a place that is not safe for you. 42 00:01:56,164 --> 00:01:56,700 Okay? 43 00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,708 So I'm giving that disclaimer way up on the front end. 44 00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:01,244 Are we all in agreement there? 45 00:02:01,332 --> 00:02:02,524 Okay, awesome. 46 00:02:02,652 --> 00:02:08,752 And then if you are single, I want you to look at this series in 47 00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:09,872 a couple different ways. 48 00:02:09,936 --> 00:02:15,360 Is one, it's healing from you witnessing a broken marriage, or 49 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,580 it's preparation for your future. 50 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:22,144 And if you are living in a reality where you've experienced 51 00:02:22,192 --> 00:02:25,920 divorce, I wanna tell you that the Lord is a healer, that he can 52 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,816 go into those moments, heal, restore. 53 00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:32,224 There can be miracles, but there can also be new beginnings. 54 00:02:32,272 --> 00:02:34,224 And so I just wanna encourage your heart. 55 00:02:34,312 --> 00:02:38,108 This is so if you fall in any one of those categories and you are 56 00:02:38,164 --> 00:02:42,540 not married, this is like back pocket marriage material. 57 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,308 Okay? 58 00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:44,332 So you may not. 59 00:02:44,436 --> 00:02:45,388 It's like a pocket knife. 60 00:02:45,404 --> 00:02:48,124 You know those people that always have a pocket knife. 61 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,988 And you're like, why do you always carry that until you need 62 00:02:51,044 --> 00:02:52,960 to borrow their pocket knife? 63 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,428 Okay. 64 00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:55,324 Did it hit ya? 65 00:02:55,372 --> 00:02:56,252 Did you catch it? 66 00:02:56,356 --> 00:02:56,796 Okay. 67 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:57,800 Okay, great. 68 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,780 So this is your pocket knife. 69 00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:01,464 Got it. 70 00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:04,832 If you're in New York, you should have a pocket knife. 71 00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:05,936 If you don't, I don't. 72 00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,216 Maybe it's Indiana stuff. 73 00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:08,000 I don't know. 74 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,704 They got a lot more than pocket knives up in here, I can tell 75 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:11,660 you that much. 76 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,660 New York don't know about that. 77 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,032 But I'm going to. 78 00:03:16,056 --> 00:03:17,136 Just going to get into the Word. 79 00:03:17,168 --> 00:03:18,464 Before I do, I want to pray. 80 00:03:18,512 --> 00:03:22,720 Lord Jesus, we just pray that this word God would be received into 81 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,008 hearts. 82 00:03:23,024 --> 00:03:26,720 I pray that you'd prepare them now to receive the word God. 83 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:27,368 I just. 84 00:03:27,464 --> 00:03:30,040 I pray that we would have a test this month. 85 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,312 Would be a testimony of reconciliation and restoration in 86 00:03:34,336 --> 00:03:35,512 Jesus mighty name. 87 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,872 That's what we're praying and believing. 88 00:03:36,936 --> 00:03:38,780 Can the church say Amen? 89 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,072 Amen. 90 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:40,456 Amen. 91 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:41,832 I'm going to get into the scripture. 92 00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:47,640 We're in Genesis 2, 1825, it said, then the Lord God said, it 93 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,504 is not good that man should be alone. 94 00:03:50,632 --> 00:03:53,736 I will make a helper fit for him. 95 00:03:53,888 --> 00:03:57,464 Now, out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of 96 00:03:57,472 --> 00:04:00,772 the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the 97 00:04:00,796 --> 00:04:03,300 man to see what he would call them. 98 00:04:03,420 --> 00:04:06,452 And whatever the man called every living creature, that was his 99 00:04:06,476 --> 00:04:06,660 name. 100 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:10,772 And the man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of 101 00:04:10,796 --> 00:04:13,092 the heavens and every beast of the field. 102 00:04:13,196 --> 00:04:17,556 But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. 103 00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:23,060 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while 104 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:27,252 he slept, took one of his ribs, closed up the place with flesh, 105 00:04:27,316 --> 00:04:32,248 and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into 106 00:04:32,304 --> 00:04:34,040 a woman and brought her to man. 107 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,632 Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bone, flesh of 108 00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:39,416 my flesh. 109 00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:43,208 She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. 110 00:04:43,344 --> 00:04:48,536 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold 111 00:04:48,608 --> 00:04:53,400 fast to his wife that they shall become one flesh. 112 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,536 And the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed. 113 00:04:56,568 --> 00:04:56,760 Men. 114 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,150 We are not talking about that scripture today, okay? 115 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,250 Save it. 116 00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:07,910 But isn't it funny that God was addressing about conflict in 117 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:11,814 marriage before conflict even started, Right? 118 00:05:11,902 --> 00:05:17,814 So we have A husband shall leave his, his, his family and cleave 119 00:05:17,862 --> 00:05:22,150 to his wife, who was Adam's dad, who was Adam's mama. 120 00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:26,726 It was that the Lord was already up ahead in our future saying, 121 00:05:26,798 --> 00:05:28,326 you don't have conflict yet. 122 00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:29,238 But you will. 123 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,258 And when you do, I have. 124 00:05:31,454 --> 00:05:34,402 So I want to tell you, maybe you're in a season of joy in your 125 00:05:34,426 --> 00:05:37,778 marriage, but keep your safety belt on, because, honey, a crisis 126 00:05:37,874 --> 00:05:38,962 is on the way. 127 00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,674 That's not prophesying doom. 128 00:05:40,722 --> 00:05:41,630 That's life. 129 00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,550 How many have been married more than a week? 130 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:46,706 Okay. 131 00:05:46,738 --> 00:05:49,218 How many had some crisises in their life? 132 00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:53,794 And I also want to say that I've been married almost 20 years. 133 00:05:53,882 --> 00:05:57,522 I'm not a kid up here that's been married for five years. 134 00:05:57,626 --> 00:05:59,490 I know I look like a teenager. 135 00:05:59,570 --> 00:06:00,470 Just kidding. 136 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:01,832 Just kidding. 137 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:02,296 Amen. 138 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:02,712 Thank you. 139 00:06:02,736 --> 00:06:04,540 I'll receive it from the front row. 140 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:10,056 But I'm going on 20 years in this, so I feel like. 141 00:06:10,128 --> 00:06:11,976 And I know some of y'all have more. 142 00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:15,816 My parents were married until my dad died over 40 years. 143 00:06:15,888 --> 00:06:17,224 I mean, they got some. 144 00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:22,040 We've seen long marriages run on my side of the family, so we feel 145 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,208 like, you know, we have something to deposit today. 146 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:28,504 But I want to say this, and this is really important for you 147 00:06:28,512 --> 00:06:30,936 guys to understand, and maybe not for our. 148 00:06:31,008 --> 00:06:36,132 Our lead gener, or maybe not for our millennial generation, but 149 00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:43,120 I want to tell you, for Gen Alpha, Gen Z, marriage is good. 150 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,084 It doesn't mean it's not hard. 151 00:06:48,172 --> 00:06:50,004 It doesn't mean there's not heartache. 152 00:06:50,052 --> 00:06:53,028 It doesn't mean that there's not things that you have to go through. 153 00:06:53,084 --> 00:06:57,892 But I want to overemphasize, get in your heart that marriage is 154 00:06:57,916 --> 00:06:58,500 a good thing. 155 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:02,740 It doesn't matter what kind of marriage that you saw in your life. 156 00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:07,152 I'm telling you that the Lord has someone for you, and marriage 157 00:07:07,216 --> 00:07:08,464 covenant is good. 158 00:07:08,552 --> 00:07:09,728 Can I get an amen? 159 00:07:09,824 --> 00:07:10,500 Amen. 160 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,024 Now, I know what you're thinking. 161 00:07:13,072 --> 00:07:14,560 Like, oh, yeah, she doesn't get it. 162 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,464 She's got 2.5 kids. 163 00:07:16,592 --> 00:07:17,552 She's got a dog. 164 00:07:17,616 --> 00:07:18,352 They're happy. 165 00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:19,360 They don't fight. 166 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,288 Okay? 167 00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:25,296 We lived our life in a toxic cycle of horrible marriage. 168 00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:27,168 For the first, we've been married 20 years. 169 00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:29,060 We've had, like, eight good ones. 170 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,030 Can anybody relate? 171 00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:43,070 So we had a long season, a long history of drama, drama, drama. 172 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:46,074 We had infidelity. 173 00:07:46,202 --> 00:07:47,498 We had abuse. 174 00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:49,034 We had poverty. 175 00:07:49,162 --> 00:07:53,082 We, you know, I left him for, you know, a length and duration of 176 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:53,290 time. 177 00:07:53,330 --> 00:07:54,794 I was like, I'm done with you. 178 00:07:54,882 --> 00:07:57,430 So, like, when we say, we know, we know. 179 00:07:58,180 --> 00:08:02,140 So when I say, hold on, hold on, like, I'm not talking about, 180 00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,916 like, oh, we just didn't get along. 181 00:08:03,988 --> 00:08:07,600 I'm talking about, like, I hated his guts. 182 00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:15,004 So I want you to hear me when I say, When I say marriage is good, 183 00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:19,052 that is a deep work of healing that the Lord has done in me. 184 00:08:19,156 --> 00:08:21,420 So I just want to prophesy that over you. 185 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:24,636 Maybe your marriage isn't good, but it can be good. 186 00:08:24,788 --> 00:08:26,460 God hasn't got in there yet. 187 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,360 There's hope for you and there's restoration. 188 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,544 But it's so sad that we have to emphasize the fact that marriage 189 00:08:33,592 --> 00:08:34,472 is a good thing. 190 00:08:34,576 --> 00:08:37,480 And some people say, like, it's just a piece of paper, Julie. 191 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,376 It's not a big deal, especially in the younger generation. 192 00:08:40,488 --> 00:08:43,560 And I would say, well, then why is it that in Hollywood we see 193 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,976 people who live together for decades? 194 00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,624 They talk about, it's just a piece of paper. 195 00:08:47,672 --> 00:08:48,648 It's just a piece of paper. 196 00:08:48,744 --> 00:08:51,528 Then they go and they have the wedding and they're divorced within 197 00:08:51,584 --> 00:08:52,420 three days. 198 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,360 Why is it? 199 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,502 Because it's not just a piece of paper. 200 00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:01,734 It's a covenant that was instituted by God. 201 00:09:01,782 --> 00:09:05,814 And so we've got to differentiate covenant from commitment. 202 00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,930 Dating is commitment. 203 00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,390 Living together is commitment. 204 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:12,810 But marriage is covenant. 205 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:17,770 Going to a conference for my single people is commitment. 206 00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:24,330 But local church, marrying one local church is covenant. 207 00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:29,286 Call out culture on the Internet is commitment. 208 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:32,342 You can be committed to a cause, you can be committed to an 209 00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:37,690 injustice, but reconciliation and repentance, that's covenant. 210 00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:41,414 Marriage is a covenant. 211 00:09:41,462 --> 00:09:44,342 Let's just talk about the secular definition, definition of 212 00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:48,278 commitment, the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause 213 00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:49,558 or activity. 214 00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:54,230 But a covenant is a lease or deed agreement. 215 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:59,030 When you own the deed to a house, that is a permanent situation. 216 00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,274 Marriage is a covenant. 217 00:10:02,322 --> 00:10:04,594 It is a deed, it is an agreement. 218 00:10:04,722 --> 00:10:09,666 And commitment is, I can leave at any time, but covenant says, I'm 219 00:10:09,698 --> 00:10:11,870 not leaving, no matter what. 220 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:17,362 So the foundation of this church needs to be built on healthy, 221 00:10:17,426 --> 00:10:18,226 godly marriage. 222 00:10:18,258 --> 00:10:19,074 And guess what? 223 00:10:19,162 --> 00:10:20,830 It's gotta start with me. 224 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:25,132 Now, I'm not perfect, but I do respect the covenant that I made 225 00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:26,080 to the Lord. 226 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:31,180 It's our covenant to our spouse before God. 227 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:35,720 All right, let's read in Ephesians 5, 31, 33. 228 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:39,760 Now, wives, I need you to take a deep breath. 229 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:44,028 And husbands don't say, I told you so. 230 00:10:44,084 --> 00:10:44,812 Okay? 231 00:10:44,956 --> 00:10:48,524 As I read this scripture, do not weaponize God's word. 232 00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:50,174 We call that scripture shade. 233 00:10:50,292 --> 00:10:52,602 When you're mad at your spouse, and then you post a scripture 234 00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:55,482 at him, that's called scripture shade. 235 00:10:55,626 --> 00:10:57,962 You're throwing shade at your spouse using the word, we ain't doing 236 00:10:57,986 --> 00:10:58,922 that today. 237 00:10:59,106 --> 00:11:02,058 But in Ephesians 5, 31, 33. 238 00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:03,898 Ladies, I need you to hear me. 239 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,146 I'm just reading the Word. 240 00:11:05,178 --> 00:11:06,970 These are not my own opinions. 241 00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:11,950 It says, wives, submit to your own husband. 242 00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:18,110 Not submit to your pastor and be unsubmissive to your husband. 243 00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:22,870 Not submit to your connect group leader and respect him, but 244 00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:25,542 be disrespectful and dishonoring to your husband. 245 00:11:25,606 --> 00:11:28,566 It says, wives, submit to your own. 246 00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:35,062 Say your own husband as to the Lord, for the husband is the head 247 00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:40,342 of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, 248 00:11:40,526 --> 00:11:43,270 and is himself its savior. 249 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,262 Now, I need you to feel the depth in that. 250 00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:49,478 I want you to underline the word savior, especially if you're 251 00:11:49,494 --> 00:11:49,962 a woman. 252 00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:53,970 Because sometimes we talk about submission as if it's a dirty 253 00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:54,594 word. 254 00:11:54,722 --> 00:11:59,090 We talk about submission as if that's something for an older generation. 255 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:04,146 But I would say that there is power in the submission to your spouse, 256 00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:07,938 and we need to bring submission back into marriage and 257 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:12,562 into the church and talk about the joy of being submitted to a godly 258 00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:13,090 spouse. 259 00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,722 Men, did you catch it? 260 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:19,062 Okay, because you have to think, all right, I'm getting ahead 261 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:19,446 of myself. 262 00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:20,294 I'm not going there. 263 00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:20,950 All right? 264 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:26,390 Now, as the church submits everything to Christ, so also wives 265 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,678 should submit in everything. 266 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,930 Ladies, it says everything. 267 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,130 Our finances. 268 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:36,610 Okay, I'm going. 269 00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:38,662 No secret credit cards. 270 00:12:38,726 --> 00:12:40,610 You know, you gotta submit it all. 271 00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,582 It says to their husbands. 272 00:12:42,646 --> 00:12:44,496 Husbands, are y'all listen. 273 00:12:44,528 --> 00:12:45,760 Are the men listening? 274 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,472 Lean in, men, because this is you. 275 00:12:47,496 --> 00:12:49,536 You got a much larger chunk of scripture here. 276 00:12:49,608 --> 00:12:55,120 It says, husbands, love your wives as Christ love the church and 277 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:59,696 gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed 278 00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:04,512 her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present 279 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,920 the church to himself in splendor. 280 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,328 Do you know how much work it is to make something inspirational? 281 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,240 Splendor. 282 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,092 So if you're a man and you're saying, she don't submit to me, well, 283 00:13:16,116 --> 00:13:20,400 my thing is, are you working on her to get to splendor? 284 00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:25,516 Because Jesus isn't asking us to do anything that he's not willing 285 00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:26,188 to do. 286 00:13:26,324 --> 00:13:30,280 His marriage is to the church, and he gave everything up for her. 287 00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,612 Okay, I'm going to keep going. 288 00:13:33,796 --> 00:13:37,996 Without spot or wrinkles or any such thing that she might be 289 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,804 holy without blemish. 290 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:44,876 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their 291 00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:46,156 own bodies. 292 00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:51,660 He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his 293 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:55,596 own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ 294 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:59,260 the church, because we are members of his body, in order. 295 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:03,200 In other words, if you hate your wife, you hate yourself. 296 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:09,414 Yeah, we'll get There, hold up back pocket. 297 00:14:09,542 --> 00:14:14,374 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast 298 00:14:14,422 --> 00:14:17,430 to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. 299 00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:22,454 This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ 300 00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:23,350 and the church. 301 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:29,302 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let 302 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:32,610 the wife see that she respects her husband. 303 00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:37,290 So we hear a lot about love and respect. 304 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:40,090 Every man wants respect. 305 00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:43,246 Every woman wants to be loved. 306 00:14:43,278 --> 00:14:45,530 This is what we all want. 307 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:53,294 But so often we are in toxic cycles that keep us from respecting 308 00:14:53,342 --> 00:14:57,614 our husband and keep men bound from loving their wives. 309 00:14:57,742 --> 00:15:00,030 So this series is called what Women Want. 310 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,262 What Men Want. 311 00:15:01,366 --> 00:15:04,810 And what you want from me is just a bunch of things that you can 312 00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:06,970 do to try to have a better marriage. 313 00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:08,470 But can I be real? 314 00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:14,070 That is just an evangelical Christian marriage wish list. 315 00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:19,530 Because the reality is, is that you do want things already and 316 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,130 they're not what Christ want. 317 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:21,930 So I. 318 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:25,898 A lot of the things that you wish you wanted aren't what you really 319 00:15:25,954 --> 00:15:26,266 want. 320 00:15:26,338 --> 00:15:27,738 Are y'all catching me? 321 00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:30,410 Okay, so a lot of the things that you. 322 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:31,466 I'm gonna repeat it. 323 00:15:31,538 --> 00:15:36,642 A lot of the things that you wish you wanted are not what you 324 00:15:36,746 --> 00:15:40,002 really want because we have toxic tendencies. 325 00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:44,034 We've got brokenness, we've had generational trauma. 326 00:15:44,162 --> 00:15:47,762 And so I'm gonna give you a list of what we should want in a 327 00:15:47,786 --> 00:15:48,402 little bit. 328 00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:52,146 But right now I'm gonna speak to some of the demonic activity that's 329 00:15:52,178 --> 00:15:56,530 taken root in our home, that tries to take hold and choke out 330 00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:59,590 the life giving gift of marriage. 331 00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:04,910 So I know what you should want and we're going to talk about that. 332 00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:08,958 But I just want to speak to the elephant in the room of what 333 00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:10,622 you actually want. 334 00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:12,730 So what you want is control. 335 00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:15,310 What you want is revenge. 336 00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:19,838 What you want is to withhold, to make him pay or to make her pay. 337 00:16:19,974 --> 00:16:23,374 What you want is to lie about your finances. 338 00:16:23,502 --> 00:16:26,490 What you want is somebody else's spouse. 339 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,402 What you want is to escape responsibility. 340 00:16:29,546 --> 00:16:30,074 Hello. 341 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,050 That's why I wanted out. 342 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,550 I'm like, this is too much. 343 00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:36,042 What you want is to lie. 344 00:16:36,186 --> 00:16:40,442 What you want is to distract yourself in the busyness of ministry 345 00:16:40,506 --> 00:16:43,070 so you don't have to pay attention to your marriage. 346 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:48,074 What you want is something in another man's field. 347 00:16:48,162 --> 00:16:50,870 But can I be honest this morning? 348 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:54,436 Because many of you don't even want love or respect. 349 00:16:54,508 --> 00:16:55,876 You want a scorecard. 350 00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:57,924 You want to not apologize. 351 00:16:58,052 --> 00:16:59,140 You want to win. 352 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:03,480 You want the last word and you want to be their mama. 353 00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:13,460 So a lot of times what we actually want is unhealthy. 354 00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:16,996 Toxic, controlling, manipulative. 355 00:17:17,108 --> 00:17:20,414 And so the books that we read in the Christian, Christian kingdom 356 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:23,694 are talking about what we should want from the most healed, 357 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:24,830 healthiest place. 358 00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:29,090 But we have to acknowledge that sometimes we want the bad stuff. 359 00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:35,982 So what I'm trying to do is tell you what I wish somebody would 360 00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:36,718 have told me. 361 00:17:36,774 --> 00:17:37,998 Girl, you don't want love. 362 00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:39,210 You want to win. 363 00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:42,654 Girl, you don't. 364 00:17:42,702 --> 00:17:43,470 You don't want love. 365 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:44,690 You want revenge. 366 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,260 You want him to hurt like he hurt you. 367 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,904 That's really what I wanted. 368 00:17:51,032 --> 00:17:54,792 So a lot of times we want unhealthy things, and we have to 369 00:17:54,816 --> 00:17:59,624 go through a season of getting healed from those sinful, selfish 370 00:17:59,752 --> 00:18:04,380 desires so that we can make things right in our marriage. 371 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:09,384 And what I listed above, it's not typically what sinners want. 372 00:18:09,552 --> 00:18:12,740 It's what church people in pews want. 373 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:17,856 Leading ministries and wondering, why isn't God bringing 374 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,432 the increase? 375 00:18:18,536 --> 00:18:21,100 It's like, get your marriage right, bro. 376 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,600 Get your marriage right, sis. 377 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,500 Like, we gotta get our priorities straight. 378 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:33,456 And we wonder, why is the divorce rate so high in the church? 379 00:18:33,568 --> 00:18:35,120 What is the church doing about it? 380 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,816 And I'm like, it ain't the church's fault. 381 00:18:36,848 --> 00:18:39,300 It's that these humans aren't looking in the mirror. 382 00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:43,790 Sanctification is a process. 383 00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:50,162 We have to be willing to look at Christ's example for marriage 384 00:18:50,226 --> 00:18:55,106 and wholeheartedly fulfill not our desire for our marriage, but 385 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:57,506 his desire for our marriage. 386 00:18:57,698 --> 00:19:02,978 And be honest about the areas that are not measuring up to Jesus 387 00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:05,750 standard and Jesus commitment to the church. 388 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:12,660 Sanctification, it is a lifelong process. 389 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,848 So today, before we go any further, we're going to deal with 390 00:19:17,904 --> 00:19:23,272 some flesh in our marriage and how to redeem some of those sinful 391 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:27,880 things in our life that's trying to take root in our marriage. 392 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,282 So we're just going to do that right now before we go any further. 393 00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:34,206 So we're just gonna take a minute, and you can close your eyes 394 00:19:34,238 --> 00:19:38,126 if you'd like, and this is gonna get awkward, and we're okay 395 00:19:38,158 --> 00:19:38,890 with it. 396 00:19:39,990 --> 00:19:43,630 And we're gonna ask the Holy Spirit, before we go any further 397 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:51,570 in this sermon, show me right now what my heart really wants. 398 00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:58,330 Not what I wish I wanted, but what have I really been after? 399 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:06,172 What are some of the demonic tendencies that have been trying 400 00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,480 to take a root in my marriage? 401 00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:12,600 And just let the Holy Spirit speak to you. 402 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:22,892 Now. 403 00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:29,672 I want you to take those sinful desires, and I want you to 404 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:35,448 take a few moments, and I want you to repent for desiring those 405 00:20:35,504 --> 00:20:39,340 things that bring destruction and division in your marriage. 406 00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:55,282 And if your spouse is sitting by you and there's some changes that 407 00:20:55,306 --> 00:20:59,730 you need to make, I want you just very discreetly just tap their 408 00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:03,778 leg or squeeze their hand or just a gesture to let them know, 409 00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:06,430 like, hey, we're not talking about it now. 410 00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:09,170 But there are some changes that I need to make. 411 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:12,710 There's some desires that I need to realign with his kingdom. 412 00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:19,626 And now what I want you to do is ask the Lord to show you the root 413 00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:22,586 of why you desire some of those things. 414 00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:26,110 Just real quietly, just keep your eyes closed at every location. 415 00:21:27,490 --> 00:21:29,002 Let the Holy Spirit speak. 416 00:21:29,066 --> 00:21:31,978 Some of it it's because of what you saw growing up. 417 00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:35,790 Some of it's the trauma that you've experienced. 418 00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:41,194 Some things you just have never dealt with and you have a victim 419 00:21:41,242 --> 00:21:46,788 mentality and you just feel like the world is just crushing in. 420 00:21:46,924 --> 00:21:49,876 Or maybe it's because you never thought you could have a different 421 00:21:49,948 --> 00:21:52,000 marriage because of what you've seen. 422 00:21:53,340 --> 00:22:00,692 We're just gonna ask the Lord, Holy Spirit, show us the route now. 423 00:22:00,716 --> 00:22:07,012 We're gonna take those lies that the Holy Spirit so graciously 424 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,942 revealed to us and we're just going to give them to Jesus right 425 00:22:10,966 --> 00:22:11,150 now. 426 00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:11,582 Just. 427 00:22:11,686 --> 00:22:15,230 Just imagine yourself just picking them up, giving them to Jesus, 428 00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:17,330 putting them at his cross. 429 00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:28,130 I'm going to pray this prayer over you, Father. 430 00:22:29,190 --> 00:22:34,270 I bind the enemy that tries to divide the married couples of this 431 00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:35,690 church in our community. 432 00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:42,540 I rebuke the devourer that tries to create cycles of death that 433 00:22:42,580 --> 00:22:44,876 choke the life out of our marriage. 434 00:22:45,068 --> 00:22:49,212 We bind the enemy and we rebuke him out of our homes, out 435 00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:51,308 of our marriages, and out of our families. 436 00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:57,500 And today is day one of a brand new marriage of a brand new 437 00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:58,284 generation. 438 00:22:58,412 --> 00:23:02,380 The blessing starts with me and the curse breaks with me. 439 00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:02,668 And. 440 00:23:02,724 --> 00:23:04,620 And by his stripes. 441 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,124 Say it with me, Church. 442 00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:10,188 We are healed in Jesus name. 443 00:23:10,324 --> 00:23:12,000 Did y'all feel a shift? 444 00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:16,172 Come on now. 445 00:23:16,196 --> 00:23:19,308 I think we're ready to talk about the things that we should want, 446 00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:19,960 right? 447 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,612 So what should we desire in marriage? 448 00:23:23,676 --> 00:23:27,132 So what I did was I just took Ephesians and I broke it down. 449 00:23:27,316 --> 00:23:30,120 And so women, I'm gonna start with you. 450 00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:36,172 But men, I want to tell you, just hold on because your list is 451 00:23:36,196 --> 00:23:36,960 longer. 452 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,100 I was laughing so hard. 453 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:42,540 We'll get there in a second. 454 00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:46,556 But women, I'm going to talk about submission now again. 455 00:23:46,628 --> 00:23:48,972 I know some of yalls eyes are twitching. 456 00:23:49,116 --> 00:23:50,892 You're like, I hate submission. 457 00:23:50,956 --> 00:23:51,948 I don't want to do this. 458 00:23:52,004 --> 00:23:53,372 Like it's so hard. 459 00:23:53,556 --> 00:23:54,540 You don't get it. 460 00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:57,090 I get it, I get it. 461 00:23:57,710 --> 00:24:01,366 I Walked this path, I walked this road. 462 00:24:01,438 --> 00:24:05,302 And so I want to tell you, this is an area where I struggle 463 00:24:05,366 --> 00:24:08,486 the most and I have the most healing. 464 00:24:08,678 --> 00:24:11,990 Like, there are certain areas that, you know, there are just certain 465 00:24:12,030 --> 00:24:13,142 areas you have authority. 466 00:24:13,206 --> 00:24:17,350 And some people have authority in, you know, in the area of peace. 467 00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:17,670 Right? 468 00:24:17,710 --> 00:24:19,638 They have authority in the area of faith. 469 00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:20,982 I'm telling you. 470 00:24:21,006 --> 00:24:23,092 And this is not, this is not a brag. 471 00:24:23,236 --> 00:24:26,132 I have authority in the area of submission. 472 00:24:26,276 --> 00:24:28,868 So this is an impartation over your life. 473 00:24:28,924 --> 00:24:32,244 Women, if this is an area you struggle, I want you to just pull 474 00:24:32,292 --> 00:24:34,244 the anointing off my life. 475 00:24:34,332 --> 00:24:36,372 I'm telling you, I struggled. 476 00:24:36,436 --> 00:24:40,708 And in the area of the most pain is usually the area of your 477 00:24:40,764 --> 00:24:43,412 greatest breakthrough and ministry. 478 00:24:43,556 --> 00:24:47,098 So I'm just, I'm just telling you because not everybody knows ourselves 479 00:24:47,144 --> 00:24:47,446 story. 480 00:24:47,518 --> 00:24:49,622 So I want to set that expectation. 481 00:24:49,766 --> 00:24:55,370 Women in Ephesians, it says that we should desire to be submissive. 482 00:24:55,870 --> 00:24:58,550 So what I believe that the Lord is going to take you on this 483 00:24:58,590 --> 00:25:03,030 journey from this over the next month is from a time where you 484 00:25:03,070 --> 00:25:07,702 didn't want to be submit submissive to a season of you, a 485 00:25:07,726 --> 00:25:10,370 lifetime of you desiring it. 486 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,246 I know it's triggering. 487 00:25:12,358 --> 00:25:13,958 I know it's hard there. 488 00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:16,358 I have times where I don't want to do it. 489 00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:19,810 When my husband said we were doing the domino revival, I was like, 490 00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:20,670 I'm out. 491 00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:22,830 That looks like a lot of work. 492 00:25:23,370 --> 00:25:25,426 We're gonna take a lot of heat. 493 00:25:25,618 --> 00:25:27,554 Casting out devils in a park. 494 00:25:27,642 --> 00:25:28,674 Like, come on. 495 00:25:28,762 --> 00:25:33,390 Like, I'm not meant for jail, you know, like, it's not my story. 496 00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:37,550 And we had the cops called on us a few times. 497 00:25:38,090 --> 00:25:40,690 I'm like, as soon as the cops rolled up, I'm like, wrap it up. 498 00:25:40,730 --> 00:25:41,506 We're good. 499 00:25:41,658 --> 00:25:42,450 Bye. 500 00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:43,950 Like, shut her down. 501 00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:47,132 So I'm not the one. 502 00:25:47,316 --> 00:25:51,372 But I'm so thankful when I began to trust what the Lord did 503 00:25:51,396 --> 00:25:52,560 with my yes. 504 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:55,480 Because I was a big fat no. 505 00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:58,760 And he'll tell you so. 506 00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:03,932 But here's the thing I learned that when I'm loved, it's easy to 507 00:26:03,956 --> 00:26:04,460 submit. 508 00:26:04,540 --> 00:26:06,924 Now, men, I want you to pull from this, okay? 509 00:26:06,972 --> 00:26:09,858 Because these are lessons where my husband received victory 510 00:26:10,004 --> 00:26:13,126 that allowed me to be free and joyfully submit. 511 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:17,206 So when I'm not lorded over, it's easy to submit. 512 00:26:17,238 --> 00:26:19,286 When I'm heard, when my heart is heard. 513 00:26:19,318 --> 00:26:24,490 You may not take my advice, but when you hear me, it's easy. 514 00:26:25,470 --> 00:26:26,890 When I trust. 515 00:26:27,550 --> 00:26:30,950 Here's the thing, you're not always going to agree with their 516 00:26:30,990 --> 00:26:31,494 decisions. 517 00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:34,822 Ladies, you're not always going to Agree with the house they 518 00:26:34,846 --> 00:26:37,702 want to buy or the job they want to take or the turn they want 519 00:26:37,726 --> 00:26:39,566 to take or the vacation they want to take. 520 00:26:39,678 --> 00:26:41,610 But here's what I'm going to tell you. 521 00:26:42,310 --> 00:26:46,974 In the seasons and in the times and in the test that I trusted 522 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:51,070 when I submit, even if he's wrong, that the Lord was still my 523 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:54,690 defender and still honored and blessed my obedience. 524 00:26:55,750 --> 00:27:00,094 So when you think about it like that, when you're obedient and 525 00:27:00,182 --> 00:27:04,734 you're submissive now, you are blessed in every direction. 526 00:27:04,862 --> 00:27:06,634 My going is blessed. 527 00:27:06,782 --> 00:27:08,274 My coming is blessed. 528 00:27:08,322 --> 00:27:09,714 My right is blessed. 529 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:11,090 My left is blessed. 530 00:27:11,170 --> 00:27:14,190 I am blessed on every side. 531 00:27:14,730 --> 00:27:16,994 Your obedience has power. 532 00:27:17,162 --> 00:27:21,266 And when I fully submitted to Mike with a heart that truly wanted 533 00:27:21,298 --> 00:27:27,362 to honor and respect him, the weight of my joy and submission sat 534 00:27:27,426 --> 00:27:32,968 heavy on his shoulders, and it made him want to make the best and 535 00:27:33,024 --> 00:27:35,300 better decisions for our family. 536 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,352 Trust me, ladies, I'm telling you, this is not easy. 537 00:27:39,416 --> 00:27:44,888 But if you will do this, he will feel the respect that he is 538 00:27:44,944 --> 00:27:45,820 craving. 539 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,064 Okay, ladies, that was yours. 540 00:27:49,112 --> 00:27:50,100 You got one. 541 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,340 Men, you have eight. 542 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,856 I know some of y'all would if I was a man. 543 00:27:56,928 --> 00:27:58,740 Well, really, do you want eight? 544 00:27:59,180 --> 00:28:01,000 Cause it talks about them dying. 545 00:28:01,340 --> 00:28:02,320 I'm good. 546 00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:04,400 You could take it. 547 00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:07,156 So, men, your list is longer. 548 00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:09,012 Are the men leaned in? 549 00:28:09,196 --> 00:28:11,572 Do I have permission to say some hard things? 550 00:28:11,756 --> 00:28:12,468 Okay. 551 00:28:12,564 --> 00:28:13,124 All right. 552 00:28:13,212 --> 00:28:18,868 So, men, you have to love your wife, not. 553 00:28:18,924 --> 00:28:19,840 You should. 554 00:28:20,380 --> 00:28:21,680 You have to. 555 00:28:22,860 --> 00:28:24,148 Jules, that's a little strong. 556 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:25,428 What if I don't feel like it? 557 00:28:25,484 --> 00:28:27,600 The Bible says that you have to. 558 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:33,328 You have to do whatever you got to do. 559 00:28:33,384 --> 00:28:33,936 Get free. 560 00:28:34,008 --> 00:28:34,928 Get deliverance. 561 00:28:35,024 --> 00:28:35,808 Get rid of this. 562 00:28:35,864 --> 00:28:37,088 Get rid of that friend. 563 00:28:37,224 --> 00:28:38,704 Pray in your prayer closet. 564 00:28:38,752 --> 00:28:40,240 Read your scriptures fast. 565 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,980 You got to get to the point where you could say, I love her. 566 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:46,432 No compromise. 567 00:28:46,576 --> 00:28:49,424 You have to love your wife here at number two. 568 00:28:49,512 --> 00:28:52,208 You have to give up everything for her. 569 00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:52,592 Yes. 570 00:28:52,656 --> 00:28:54,820 Video games are included. 571 00:28:58,620 --> 00:29:00,320 Somebody felt that. 572 00:29:01,420 --> 00:29:02,740 Now, here's the thing. 573 00:29:02,860 --> 00:29:05,748 There's no problem with hobbies. 574 00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:06,244 Every. 575 00:29:06,332 --> 00:29:07,924 Every man should have a hobby. 576 00:29:07,972 --> 00:29:09,204 I'm not against hunting. 577 00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:10,788 I'm not against fishing. 578 00:29:10,884 --> 00:29:12,228 I'm not against gaming. 579 00:29:12,324 --> 00:29:16,452 But when it takes precedent over your family, there has to be 580 00:29:16,476 --> 00:29:20,004 a reprioritization, because Jesus gave everything up for the 581 00:29:20,012 --> 00:29:23,702 church, and you have to be at least willing to give it all up for 582 00:29:23,726 --> 00:29:24,630 your spouse. 583 00:29:24,790 --> 00:29:27,206 Now, I'll tell you, when Mike's come to me with different 584 00:29:27,278 --> 00:29:30,646 things that he's had to give up, do you know what actually happened 585 00:29:30,678 --> 00:29:33,250 is when he met me with that, I said, you know what? 586 00:29:34,670 --> 00:29:36,374 Truthfully, I wanted control. 587 00:29:36,462 --> 00:29:37,622 I wanted you to give that up. 588 00:29:37,646 --> 00:29:39,510 But just knowing you're willing, I'm good. 589 00:29:39,550 --> 00:29:40,530 Keep doing it. 590 00:29:42,510 --> 00:29:46,534 So sometimes, men, you can live in fear, but I would just encourage 591 00:29:46,582 --> 00:29:47,850 you, be willing. 592 00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:50,044 Number three. 593 00:29:50,132 --> 00:29:51,164 Gave his life. 594 00:29:51,252 --> 00:29:52,124 Gave it up. 595 00:29:52,212 --> 00:29:53,320 Gave everything. 596 00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:54,360 Everything. 597 00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:55,740 All of it. 598 00:29:55,860 --> 00:29:56,520 Everything. 599 00:29:58,420 --> 00:29:59,468 Sanctify her. 600 00:29:59,524 --> 00:30:00,028 Number four. 601 00:30:00,084 --> 00:30:02,796 Sanctify her by washing her in the water. 602 00:30:02,948 --> 00:30:03,820 And the word. 603 00:30:03,900 --> 00:30:05,452 This is not an option. 604 00:30:05,516 --> 00:30:07,276 This is not a suggestion. 605 00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:10,236 This isn't something that we think is a good idea. 606 00:30:10,348 --> 00:30:11,804 This is scripture. 607 00:30:11,932 --> 00:30:18,366 If you want a loving spouse that respects you, you have to teach 608 00:30:18,478 --> 00:30:20,270 the word over your life. 609 00:30:20,310 --> 00:30:23,170 And let me tell you, we don't care about the delivery. 610 00:30:23,670 --> 00:30:27,566 When my husband texts me a scripture, I don't care what he's 611 00:30:27,598 --> 00:30:28,606 willing to buy me. 612 00:30:28,678 --> 00:30:29,518 No, thank you. 613 00:30:29,574 --> 00:30:31,010 I will take the verse. 614 00:30:34,870 --> 00:30:37,694 We have to be willing to wash our wives in the word. 615 00:30:37,742 --> 00:30:38,462 Number five. 616 00:30:38,566 --> 00:30:40,806 Love as their own bodies. 617 00:30:40,918 --> 00:30:44,246 Bro, I've seen your trip to the gym. 618 00:30:44,358 --> 00:30:46,422 I've seen you go to the tanning thing. 619 00:30:46,526 --> 00:30:48,182 I've seen you go to the barber. 620 00:30:48,326 --> 00:30:49,990 You guys get all lined up. 621 00:30:50,030 --> 00:30:51,302 You crisped your shirt. 622 00:30:51,366 --> 00:30:54,170 Like, it's a real whole culture. 623 00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:58,022 It's like, I think women get a bad rap for being, like, high maintenance, 624 00:30:58,086 --> 00:31:01,490 but I feel like men, y'all have, like, a whole thing. 625 00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:06,550 Or maybe it's the way you obsessively clean your car or your 626 00:31:06,590 --> 00:31:07,942 gun or you're this or you're that. 627 00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:08,144 Like. 628 00:31:08,182 --> 00:31:09,388 Like, it's whatever. 629 00:31:09,484 --> 00:31:11,320 Like, pick your thing. 630 00:31:12,020 --> 00:31:18,620 But the Bible says that if you love, like, however you treat yourself, 631 00:31:18,780 --> 00:31:24,200 you have to be willing to give your spouse the same energy back. 632 00:31:25,380 --> 00:31:29,804 So if you spend all that time and all that effort into your hobby 633 00:31:29,852 --> 00:31:34,710 to make you feel good, my encouragement to you is keep a log 634 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:38,182 of how much time you spend and invest that back into your marriage. 635 00:31:38,246 --> 00:31:39,126 You have the time. 636 00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:41,890 Delete Netflix off your TV if you have to. 637 00:31:42,590 --> 00:31:44,690 And invest into her. 638 00:31:46,350 --> 00:31:47,542 Did y'all not like that one? 639 00:31:47,566 --> 00:31:48,410 It was quiet. 640 00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:49,890 All right. 641 00:31:50,270 --> 00:31:52,006 All the women are like, hey. 642 00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:56,198 Men number six, leave his family. 643 00:31:56,254 --> 00:31:59,734 If you care more about what your mom thinks. 644 00:31:59,782 --> 00:32:00,302 Men. 645 00:32:00,446 --> 00:32:06,930 Than what your wife thinks, there is a really big red flag. 646 00:32:08,630 --> 00:32:10,110 The Bible says it's not about. 647 00:32:10,150 --> 00:32:12,318 And I know the boy moms are glaring me down. 648 00:32:12,374 --> 00:32:13,486 They were in first service. 649 00:32:13,558 --> 00:32:16,210 They're like, keep talking. 650 00:32:17,910 --> 00:32:20,606 This is not about leaving your family. 651 00:32:20,678 --> 00:32:23,134 In the sense of you don't talk, you don't have a relationship. 652 00:32:23,182 --> 00:32:27,314 What it's talking about is that the loyalty is to your wife 653 00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:30,402 and the relationship is connected to your family. 654 00:32:30,586 --> 00:32:31,910 Does that make sense? 655 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:36,946 So this is not boy moms about you raising up sons to be closer 656 00:32:36,978 --> 00:32:37,458 to you. 657 00:32:37,514 --> 00:32:41,026 It's raising them up so that they love their wife. 658 00:32:41,058 --> 00:32:43,938 And every time they come to you with a complaint, an argument, 659 00:32:44,034 --> 00:32:47,378 something she did wrong, you point them back to their spouse, 660 00:32:47,474 --> 00:32:51,842 back to their pastor, back to Jesus, back to therapy, and you don't 661 00:32:51,906 --> 00:32:54,264 create a toxic bond with yourself. 662 00:32:54,312 --> 00:32:55,384 Are you hearing me, boy? 663 00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:56,152 Moms. 664 00:32:56,296 --> 00:32:58,420 Okay, men, are you hearing me? 665 00:32:58,720 --> 00:32:59,416 Okay? 666 00:32:59,528 --> 00:33:03,528 Number seven, give his life, give his whole life, everything up. 667 00:33:03,584 --> 00:33:06,888 Are you willing to give up the truck so you can get a bigger house 668 00:33:06,944 --> 00:33:08,584 for, you know, your other baby? 669 00:33:08,632 --> 00:33:12,216 Are you willing to ditch the game console so you can buy a computer 670 00:33:12,248 --> 00:33:13,176 for your kids school? 671 00:33:13,248 --> 00:33:17,780 Are you willing to give it all up for your spouse and family? 672 00:33:20,890 --> 00:33:22,150 Your opinions. 673 00:33:24,730 --> 00:33:30,210 Number eight, all of the sacrifice with no glory. 674 00:33:30,370 --> 00:33:33,110 Deflecting all glory to the father. 675 00:33:33,850 --> 00:33:37,922 Jesus is not asking you men to walk out something that he didn't 676 00:33:37,986 --> 00:33:39,730 already walk the road. 677 00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:42,034 He gave everything up for the church. 678 00:33:42,082 --> 00:33:47,068 And anytime he received glory or accolades, he pointed it right 679 00:33:47,124 --> 00:33:48,320 back to the father. 680 00:33:50,420 --> 00:33:52,092 So women, we got one. 681 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:54,444 And men, you got eight. 682 00:33:54,612 --> 00:33:55,516 I'm sorry. 683 00:33:55,628 --> 00:33:57,644 My condolences, ladies. 684 00:33:57,692 --> 00:33:59,480 I think we got the good end of the deal. 685 00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:03,200 I'm not as offended at submission anymore. 686 00:34:03,620 --> 00:34:04,600 I'm good. 687 00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:06,924 And I know what you're thinking. 688 00:34:06,972 --> 00:34:09,612 You're sitting there, you're like, yeah, if she did that, I would 689 00:34:09,636 --> 00:34:10,449 love her. 690 00:34:10,619 --> 00:34:14,449 Or, yeah, if he did all those things, I would respect him. 691 00:34:15,069 --> 00:34:16,069 And I get it. 692 00:34:16,109 --> 00:34:18,969 But you guys are at a stalemate. 693 00:34:19,869 --> 00:34:24,629 Nobody can move in any direction because both of you are 694 00:34:24,669 --> 00:34:27,449 fighting your own flesh. 695 00:34:28,029 --> 00:34:30,729 You're not even fighting each other anymore. 696 00:34:31,629 --> 00:34:35,285 So somebody has to be the redeemer. 697 00:34:35,317 --> 00:34:38,620 I'm gonna ask the keys to come up at every location. 698 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:44,760 And I wanna encourage you guys that when it comes to this area of 699 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,920 going first, you know, a lot of you see my husband and you know, 700 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,680 he's funny and our marriage is good and we laugh and, you know, 701 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:55,816 we're able to spend time as a family and it all looks normal. 702 00:34:55,848 --> 00:34:59,688 But there was a time in our life where nothing about our life 703 00:34:59,744 --> 00:35:00,860 was functional. 704 00:35:01,770 --> 00:35:03,750 We threw peanut butter jars. 705 00:35:05,450 --> 00:35:06,994 They do break drywall. 706 00:35:07,042 --> 00:35:13,410 Just so you're in case you're wondering, we broke every dish of 707 00:35:13,450 --> 00:35:17,122 every box of dishes we ever received to the point where I bought 708 00:35:17,186 --> 00:35:18,210 Corelle. 709 00:35:18,370 --> 00:35:19,938 Do you know what Karel is? 710 00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:22,002 Corelle is unbreakable dishes. 711 00:35:22,066 --> 00:35:24,390 I was like, I got you, sir. 712 00:35:25,450 --> 00:35:27,310 And he still broke one of those. 713 00:35:31,870 --> 00:35:36,490 He was an adulterer, he was abusive. 714 00:35:37,310 --> 00:35:41,574 And I know that not everybody should stay in those kinds of situations. 715 00:35:41,622 --> 00:35:43,610 Like, I get it, I know the scriptures. 716 00:35:44,190 --> 00:35:50,598 But I had a picture of restoration in my family, and I said, 717 00:35:50,654 --> 00:35:54,130 lord, I'm willing to go first. 718 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:56,710 Now. 719 00:35:56,830 --> 00:36:05,750 It should have been him, but someone in the family has to be the 720 00:36:05,790 --> 00:36:08,410 Redeemer in the relationship. 721 00:36:09,470 --> 00:36:12,170 Obedience does not wait. 722 00:36:13,390 --> 00:36:15,702 Obedience is a redeemer. 723 00:36:15,766 --> 00:36:20,480 Obedience is a force that unifies marriage. 724 00:36:23,620 --> 00:36:24,508 So, men. 725 00:36:24,644 --> 00:36:25,340 Yeah. 726 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:26,300 Go first. 727 00:36:26,420 --> 00:36:27,420 I think you should. 728 00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:30,092 I think it would be beautiful, and I think it would minister to 729 00:36:30,116 --> 00:36:31,360 your wife greatly. 730 00:36:31,860 --> 00:36:35,440 But, ladies, if you're waiting for him, you are in disobedience. 731 00:36:36,740 --> 00:36:40,444 Because redeemers go first. 732 00:36:40,612 --> 00:36:45,692 Jesus went all the way to the cross without ever knowing that you 733 00:36:45,716 --> 00:36:47,750 would accept him as Savior. 734 00:36:49,130 --> 00:36:55,234 And if Jesus is the metaphor for him and the Church, if that's 735 00:36:55,282 --> 00:36:58,590 marriage, then we go all the way first. 736 00:36:59,930 --> 00:37:03,954 Without any promise of reconciliation, without any promise 737 00:37:04,002 --> 00:37:08,002 of change, without any promise that he's ever going to love or cherish. 738 00:37:08,066 --> 00:37:09,630 You go first. 739 00:37:12,420 --> 00:37:16,780 When I read Ephesians, there's such a conviction that settles in 740 00:37:16,820 --> 00:37:17,308 my heart. 741 00:37:17,364 --> 00:37:21,120 And I see Jesus as the bridegroom to the church. 742 00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:29,388 And I can't help but think that our marriage is a direct reflection 743 00:37:29,484 --> 00:37:31,772 of our relationship with Jesus. 744 00:37:31,836 --> 00:37:36,220 There is no such thing as a passionate relationship with Jesus 745 00:37:36,300 --> 00:37:38,390 and a passionless marriage. 746 00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:41,650 Those things cannot be separate. 747 00:37:41,730 --> 00:37:44,950 I understand you go through things, but there's. 748 00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:49,150 There's a conviction that should settle in your heart. 749 00:37:50,650 --> 00:37:55,266 There should be a mirror image of those two worlds. 750 00:37:55,458 --> 00:37:58,546 People who don't pray in their relationship with Jesus. 751 00:37:58,658 --> 00:38:02,230 My hunch is that you also don't communicate with your spouse. 752 00:38:02,650 --> 00:38:03,830 It's a mirror. 753 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:10,416 And we're just going to take a few minutes as we take communion 754 00:38:10,608 --> 00:38:18,992 and we're going to reprioritize because some of you 755 00:38:19,176 --> 00:38:24,500 have relationships where Jesus is not on the throne. 756 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:33,250 And we're going to put Jesus back on the throne because the Lamb 757 00:38:33,590 --> 00:38:35,822 is worthy of his suffering. 758 00:38:35,966 --> 00:38:50,094 Would you stand with me, Jesus? 759 00:38:50,142 --> 00:38:51,810 We put you on the throne. 760 00:38:53,190 --> 00:38:58,160 A bridegroom that gave everything up for his bride, the 761 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:04,400 Redeemer that went first, that paid the debt of our sin and our 762 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:05,380 punishment. 763 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:12,096 His body was broken and his blood was spilled out for the redemption 764 00:39:12,128 --> 00:39:13,300 of our sins. 765 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:20,032 And God, we can't do marriage without you. 766 00:39:20,216 --> 00:39:22,354 We can't do life without you. 767 00:39:22,512 --> 00:39:24,670 There is no healing without you. 768 00:39:24,790 --> 00:39:32,190 And so today we remember your body that was broken and beaten for 769 00:39:32,230 --> 00:39:32,810 us. 770 00:39:36,390 --> 00:39:40,462 If you need the elements at every location, just wave your hand. 771 00:39:40,646 --> 00:39:42,010 They'll come to you. 772 00:39:46,870 --> 00:39:56,818 Jesus, your body, the pain and the hurt and the suffering of my 773 00:39:56,874 --> 00:39:59,150 marriage was on his back. 774 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:09,830 His body was broken for our pain, for our sin. 775 00:40:13,130 --> 00:40:15,070 And God, we take your body. 776 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:17,940 Jesus, we remember. 777 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,020 Go ahead and take the bread. 778 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,568 Ephesians 5:25, 27. 779 00:40:33,624 --> 00:40:35,488 It says, Husbands, love your wives. 780 00:40:35,584 --> 00:40:40,112 As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he 781 00:40:40,136 --> 00:40:43,992 might sanctifier, having cleansed her by the washing of the 782 00:40:44,016 --> 00:40:48,072 water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself 783 00:40:48,136 --> 00:40:53,000 in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she 784 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,608 might be holy and without blemish. 785 00:40:55,704 --> 00:41:00,460 God, we do not receive anything without your blood. 786 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:06,460 And the only way that we can be washed clean is through your blood. 787 00:41:08,010 --> 00:41:13,990 And God, as we take the cup, we remember the blood that was poured 788 00:41:14,330 --> 00:41:17,910 out for our sin and our shame. 789 00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:26,690 He gave up his life for the church, his body broken and his blood 790 00:41:26,770 --> 00:41:27,794 spilled out. 791 00:41:27,962 --> 00:41:30,850 Let us remember his sacrifice. 792 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:33,120 Would you drink this with me today? 793 00:41:41,260 --> 00:41:43,012 How many just felt healing? 794 00:41:43,076 --> 00:41:47,124 Come in the room, Church. 795 00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:47,780 Would you do this? 796 00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:50,680 Would you just lift up your hands at every location? 797 00:41:52,460 --> 00:41:59,352 Jesus, we receive your healing virtue in our bodies, in our mind 798 00:41:59,456 --> 00:42:01,260 and in our marriage. 799 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:12,472 Lord, we thank you for the healing work of the cross, the finished 800 00:42:12,536 --> 00:42:13,140 work. 801 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:19,820 Lord, we thank you that there is power in his blood. 802 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:27,694 And God, I thank you that that power is flowing today in Jesus mighty 803 00:42:27,742 --> 00:42:27,998 name. 804 00:42:28,054 --> 00:42:30,590 And the church said, Amen. 805 00:42:30,670 --> 00:42:31,270 How many feel.