Welcome to Love Notes from Rhonda.

And today I just want to pause for a second and ask you, what do feelings have to do with communication?

What do feelings have to do with your ability to go anywhere, do anything, meet anyone, to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, about anything?

What do feelings have to do with that?

Well, I bet you can guess that it is literally everything because whatever you're feeling determines your actions, gives you permission to act out or act in an empowering way.

Right?

Have you ever seen somebody lash out and they said, I couldn't help myself, I just got so upset.

Well, that's just who I am.

That's just the way I am.

All of that is based on ignorance, lack of skill, all of that.

And we know that that is then those feelings are then serving fear.

So having a feeling in and of itself isn't bad.

There's no such thing as a bad feeling, just feelings.

And those feelings are meant to guide you on what you need to say to yourself, what to communicate to yourself, as well as to communicate to others.

If you keep getting grumpy around a person, I bet there's some things you need to say to them, or if you shut down around a particular person, I bet there's probably things you need to say to them.

If you don't feel comfortable being yourself around somebody and so your communication becomes thwarted, well, then you probably have some things to say to yourself and in fact, maybe somebody else.

So your feelings are going to help you decide who.

Who you have to talk to about what.

It's so critical to become skilled as a communicator.

Communication skills are critical to your overall happiness.

Your inability and or unwillingness to put a boundary in place or to say no or to speak up and use your voice.

If you're unable to do those things, your happiness is thwarted.

Your ability to have joy is thwarted.

Your success is thwarted.

Our feelings give us information, and then we must have the courage to learn the skills needed and necessary in order to process those feelings, in order to say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done.

And sometimes that is sitting down and not saying anything and maybe just saying something to ourselves.

So feelings have so much to do with our ability and willingness to communicate.

So your feelings are guiding, supporting you, putting a spotlight on who you have to speak up to, what you have to say and how to say it.

See, I talk to people all the time, almost every single coaching session.

I'm not gonna say everyone, but gosh, I would say 70, 80% of my coaching sessions at One time or another in that session, I'm gonna do a role play or I'm gonna talk to them about a difficult conversation they have to have or want to have and how to have it.

And we role play and we talk it through.

Because when you have something important to say, usually the more important it is, the more thwarted we are in our ability to do it.

Say it.

We have those overwhelming feelings of dread or guilt or shame, fear that we're gonna mess it up, they're gonna attack us, they're not gonna like us, they're gonna dump us, they're gonna reject us, they're gonna fire us.

All of those things become moot when you have more skill in your ability to communicate, when you can have a difficult conversation in a very healthy, whole, adult, fearless way.

And when something means something to us or a lot, it's even harder to communicate, right, because we have so much feeling attached to it.

So the last few days, we've been talking about feelings, and I want you to hear how critically important those feelings are guiding you again, shining a spotlight on the things that you must speak up about to yourself or to another.

People don't fail in their dreams most of the time because they're stupid.

They fail in their dreams because they refuse to learn the skills necessary to succeed.

They fail to learn, refuse to learn the communication skills that would support them in shifting their mindset and connecting with another human being.

You have a huge opportunity to discover who you are, discover what feelings move through you, discover which feelings are your Achilles heel, which ones trick you the most, and then you get to say yes to learning the communication skills that will empower you so you know what to say and how to say it.

Those are two very distinct things.

What to say and how to say it.

Very distinct.

When I am working with my certified Fearless Living coaches as they're training to become certified Fearless Living Coaches in the Life Coach certification program, we emphasize greatly the difference between what to say and how to say it, because you may know what to say, but.

But it may not come out all that great.

So we want to know what to say, but more importantly, we want to know how to say it.

So your feelings are pointing the way, showing you what you need to speak up about.

So are you willing to learn the communication skills that are needed and necessary for you to have a voice?

You have one.

Are you willing to use it?

Until next time, be fearless.

I love you.