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Your host, Sam Wakefield.

All right, welcome back.

This is episode number four of this series that we are doing on Roots and Wings.

How to have healthy, well rounded children in our, in our life.

And, and, and by extension healthy and well rounded employees and co workers and team and family members and basically anyone, everyone in your life you have the ability to speak into.

Everyone in your life you have the ability to influence.

I think of a book that I read years ago called the 360 degree leader by John Maxwell.

And in that book I talk a lot about how every person you come in contact in your life, you can be a leader too.

And this, it totally lines up with our message and our mission here at close it now of taking radical responsibility for your life and everything in your life.

And when you take that radical responsibility, that means if it's to be, it's up to me to affect change.

Change has to start inside first.

And then when we be that person that we want to become, we attract that, we can also influence those around us with those same types of things.

So I will let let our guest today.

Of course, if you followed along with us in the along this series, you know our guests very well hopefully by now.

But if not, super quick recap.

This is Jimmy J's.

He is our resident expert in all of the family matters and the things that we're talking about today is also a lot of other things.

Of course, not only is my friend who's been my business coach in the past, he is one of his clients.

He actually was the business coach and still is for an organization that went from zero to over a billion dollars with the B in cells in what was the time period there for that?

About five and a half years.

About five and a half years.

So zero to over a billion dollars in sales in about five and a half years.

And he's just getting started, folks.

So super excited about his incredible business acumen.

If that is something that is super incredible, go back.

There are three other episodes outside of this series where we he was a guest that we've talked business, we've talked about referrals, we've talked about a bunch of different things.

But the purpose of this series is what him and I are both very passionate about, which is family matters, family values.

You can't be a complete person if all of this is out of order.

Now, personally, of course, I'm happy to admit I've been the poster child for a lot of those things being out of order in the past.

And it's a work in progress.

And today I'm excited because we're going to talk about a topic that is is difficult.

These difficult topics are always usually come with really cool quotes.

So I'm going to read a quote which I think that is my favorite quote on courage, which is our topic today, and then I'll let Jimmy take it away and get it, get us into this.

But my favorite quote on courage is courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.

That's, of course, from John Wayne.

And who, who can we, who can we think about courage besides that guy?

He was the epitome of courage.

So welcome back to the show, Jimmy.

Glad to have you today, man.

So great to be here.

Excited to have this conversation.

Yeah, for sure.

So, so give us a quick recap, man, for everybody who maybe hasn't caught the one of the last three episodes, fly, give us a flyover and then take it away into where we're talking about today.

Yeah, that sounds great.

So we're really in the series talking a lot about parenting.

And all of the stuff that we talk about is things that apply in the world of parenting.

And a lot of it you can apply directly to business.

If you're a company owner.

A lot of these concepts work flawlessly inside of team building and organizations.

And really what we're talking about is this idea of wanting to raise up children who have roots and wings.

And so if you raise up children that don't have wings, they don't, you know, you solve every problem for them.

You don't let them develop the ability to go through hard things.

And you end up with, you know, fragile kids that any, anybody says something to them and, and, you know, they want to stop playing.

They want to everything that would be kids without wings.

And if you raise kids, you know, with no wings, but they do have roots Then what that means is you end up with a child that is 30, 40 years old, living in the basement, playing Xbox, with no plans on leaving.

And so that's the.

The wings side of things or the root side of things.

On the other hand, if you raise up children with wings and you miss the root side of things, then you have these amazing world changers that.

They know how to add value in the world.

They know how to be problem solvers.

They know how to just go out and do amazing things, and they go off and they change the world, but they don't come home for Christmas, and they don't come home for Christmas and Thanksgiving, and you miss that time with them.

So really what we want is children who have roots and wings, kids that don't need us anymore, but that really, really want to spend time with us, that, that want to be friends, you know, past adulthood.

And there's a quote that says you can.

If you.

If you.

If you spoil your.

If you.

If you spoil.

Let's see, if you spoil your grandchildren, if you raise up good, good children, you can.

You can, you know, spoil your grandchildren.

If you're, like, tough and you raise up good kids, then you can spoil your grandkids.

If you spoil your kids, I guarantee you, you'll be raising your grandchildren.

Ooh, that's rough.

So that's kind of the.

The overview.

We talked a lot about the roots side of things, which is really two categories.

One of them is creating connection and making sure that you've got time blocked off together, that you're doing things together.

If you're a business owner and you say my priorities are, you know, whatever.

Whatever your list is, right.

My priorities are faith and then family and then business.

Well, if I didn't know you, I didn't know your heart, and all I could see was your bank account and your calendar.

What is actually the priority, right?

And so we talked about creating this space and the traditions inside of your.

Your household to be able to raise up kids with roots.

And that comes down to having connection, you know, making sure you've got time together, you're not on devices all the time with kids.

And that what we call tlc.

Trauma, Trauma, Love and connection that you do.

We do conflict well as.

As a family.

Then we talked about the root side of things around just core values and, and making sure that, you know, what does it mean to be a wake?

It mean to be a j.

Do your children know that and do you correct to values?

Do you have a system in place to make sure that you've got the right inner circle around your kids.

There's different phases that kids learn through and when they hit that teenager phase, they're hardwired to think that you're an idiot.

It's supposed to be that way.

And they're supposed to learn from other people.

And so your job as a parent is how do I curate the, the people around them so that they're getting that, that good learning.

And so that's really the, the, the roots side of things.

And today we're on the wings side of things and we're going to talk about how do you raise up kids that, that are those world changers that aren't anti fragile that go do hard things.

And so that's what our, our conversation is, is around today.

Love it.

Thanks for the recap.

And so that lands us right into kind of where I started with the, the quote about courage.

Right.

I've always loved that quote from the time I was a kid and honestly didn't understand it until, you know, it reminds me of a saying that I heard one time actually at an event that we were together is the first time I heard it is, you know, no man crosses the same river twice because it's not the same river and you're not the same man or woman.

You know, no person crosses the same river twice.

And every single, every, every couple of years I'll think of this quote for some reason or another and it hits me differently.

And in this conversation it makes me think of all of the things that my kids have done this last few years.

And also it's really forced me to self analyze and recognize the places that I've stopped them from having the opportunity to have courage, the opportunity to develop that thicker skin to.

I've kept them fragile in ways that I didn't intend to.

And so yeah, this is a good, good perfect timing in this topic.

So take a, take us into courage a little bit today.

And where are we headed with this?

Yeah, so we're going to talk through three main points of, of courage.

And the first thing I would say is that courage is a byproduct.

Courage is not like some other things.

You're like, oh, let me show you how to do this.

Courage is a, is a byproduct and a lot of other things have to come together in order to raise up courageous kids.

And so the three areas we're going to talk about today, one is leave things better, one is do hard things and one is make hard choices.

Oh yes.

Leave things better.

Do Hard things make hard choices.

So that's really.

We need to go through with our children in order to help them to develop courage.

And I love, I love the quote that you just gave on, on courage.

Maybe a silly alternate version or similar version comes from Dan Sullivan and he says fear is peeing your pants.

Courage is doing what needs to get done with wet pants.

Truth.

So that's a nice kid, friendly one.

So leaving things better really comes down to raising up children that are problem solvers, value creators and that are complaint free.

So problem solvers, right?

A lot of times what we do, especially business owner.

We're talking on one of the previous calls about this idea of systems in the business and how you can do something that's great all you want, but if it's not turned into a system, then it's not going to happen repeatably.

And so we want to have some systems inside of the home and at the same time we want to raise children that are problem solvers.

Meaning that sometimes if we say, all right, here's your chores list and we're going to print it up on the wall and here's what you're going to do and you're going to check this box every single day, that's an example of a system which is, which is a great thing.

The problem sometimes with systems though is that it can cause a lack of thinking.

So we want systems and we want what I would call decision making guidelines.

Here's the way that we think.

And so teaching children, sometimes what happens is we give them these lists of things we want to, we want to teach them responsibility, we want to teach them to be problem solvers.

And what happens is we give them responsibility without teaching them how to become problem solvers.

And what that means is that they, you know, walk in the house and they walk right past the garbage bins and they don't bring them in because they don't even notice that they're, that they're out.

And then they come in and they do their set three chores that they're supposed to do, right?

That type of mentality not only will burn you out around the home, but if you have children that just only do what they're specifically requested to do and they don't actually look around and find ways to add value, they're going to be not a great employee and they're definitely not going to be a great business owner if they, if they don't learn to identify and solve problems.

Damn it, Jimmy, did you hide some video cameras around my house?

Because I feel like that's exactly what we're talking about right now because we have that.

It's like it's constantly a conversation of, oh my gosh, you guys, I wish you would take more initiative and just do the things that need done.

100 and.

And Dan Martell, who is the author of Buy back your time, I was listening to him.

Him speak and.

And he was talking about, anytime in your business you want to list off some complaints about your employees, go ahead and list them out.

And they just like, listed them all out.

And they said, well, what's the complaints?

And they listed them all out.

And what is the system in your business where you have taught them that capability?

Ooh.

And the business owner's like, oh, it doesn't exist.

Yeah, right.

Well, you can't be mad about stuff that you don't have a system around.

Right.

That you aren't intentionally teaching.

So one of the things that we talk about a lot is that.

And we talked about this on the last call a bit is when it comes to capabilities, we don't do chores, we develop skills.

And the difference between those two is like, dude, I don't.

I don't need somebody to just vacuum the floors.

Like, I can pay somebody else to do that.

The reason that you're doing that is because I want you to learn the capability.

So if that's the goal, then how are we.

How.

How can you create it in such a way, set it up in such a way where instead of just having them do things to get money, you're teaching them how to be problem solvers?

Right.

If you have younger kids, an example of this is to say, hey, I'm going to pay you to do some gigs.

Something that we do a lot is instead of chores, we do gigs.

Chores teaches.

You know, you just do these things and you get paid this money.

Gigs is.

Here's some jobs that you can do and you get paid for them.

And it's five bucks to vacuum my office, and it's this many dollars to take out the, the, the soda cans.

And so there's a whole other episode of this, so I won't get into it.

But we, we have expectation and expenses and extra pay.

That's how we run it around our house.

So expectations are things that you do without getting paid for.

You know, you know, brush your teeth, you're going to make your bed, you're going to.

Here's a list of things you're going to do.

Expenses are stuff that usually parents would pay for, that we make Our kids pay for.

And extra pay is things that they can do to make money.

And so to go through that a little bit, we.

We have expenses that we make the kids pay for.

We go to a movie theater, they pay for their pop and popcorn.

If we go to a restaurant and they want a soda, they need to pay for it.

If we go to a birthday party for one of their friends, I don't buy the present.

They gotta buy the present.

If they want a bicycle and they say, I don't want that one, I want this one, then they can pay to upgrade.

I'm willing to pay this amount and you need to pay the rest.

So they're getting used to expenses, and then they are also getting extra pay.

They've got a whole menu of ways that they can go earn money.

And some of those are around the house, and those are like household kind of activity gigs that they can do.

Then once they do those, then there's community gigs where they can go out and do some jobs in the community to get paid and they can.

You like mowing the lawn around the house or.

Son's old enough to do that now.

Well, you can go mow the lawn or the neighbors and get paid that way.

Sure.

And then there's brain gigs.

And Brain is one of my favorites.

That can be a lot of different things.

One example of a brain gig is, hey, read this book.

And I want you to go read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

My son read it at 8 years old.

I told him, I give him 50 bucks if he read Rich Dad, Poor dad.

And then was able to summarize the book for me.

Nice.

And that's going to save me.

I mean, he'll pay for his own college.

He'll pay for his own starting his own business because of what he's learned in that book.

Right.

And it cost me 50 bucks.

So that's an example of a brain gig.

Another example of a brain gig.

It's just the idea of getting.

Getting paid using your brain instead of your hands and your feet, Right.

So as an example, you know, you've been in the trenches, crawling up in addicts, doing some H vac work, and that's hands and feet work.

You also are able to make money through online courses and podcasting and different things like that, where it's predominantly using your brain.

Right?

So Brain Gigs is teaching our kids that instead of drawing a picture and selling it and getting paid once, there's literally sites where you can go put that in and you can take that picture and you can Turn it into a mug and a hat and stickers, and you can sell it over and over and over and over and over again.

And the point isn't the $200 that they make.

The point is that we're.

It's.

It's.

I. I hear stories of this all the time.

And it's like they're getting a better education than they would get in college by learning how to create wealth on their own.

Right?

Create this.

Teach them the skill to add value and give value to gain the revenue from it.

Even just the word revenue versus how kids normally think about money is like, that's a new word.

And what does it mean?

Right.

100.

So you can have great conversations around that.

So back to this idea of leaving things better.

Adding value a lot of times is our problem solving is a lot of times leaving things better.

And so one of the gigs that we gave early on was go around the house and I want you to make a list of all the things that you could do that would leave this place better.

And I'll give you $1 per idea.

You don't have to do it.

You have to wash the dishes.

Just write down wash the dishes if they need to be done right now.

Make a list, and I'll give you a dollar per thing.

So now we're teaching them to be problem solvers.

We're teaching them to look around the house and say, what are things that I could do to make this place better?

So that's an example of.

Of problem solvings.

I would say the next one is value creation.

So in the idea of making things better, it's solve problems, create value, and do in a way where you're not complaining.

So creating kids that are value creators, think about it like a stool with three legs.

One of them is material, one of them is spiritual, and one of them is emotional.

Those are the different types of value.

And just being able to explain to kids, right, that there's more than one way to add value and they can start looking for ways to add value.

Most of the business owner stuff is material value, right?

What can I do to add material value?

And that's what gets you the promotion at work.

That's what gets.

Allows you to become a great entrepreneur.

There's also emotional value, right?

That's how.

How are you a great friend?

What can you do to just add.

Add value to the world from.

From that standpoint?

And then there's spiritual value, which we define as anything that has you connected to something larger than yourself.

So call it whatever you'd like.

And that is spiritual value.

So.

So having kids understand what are some ways that I can add value in the world?

And if, if your kids can understand the idea that they get paid and that they make money in the world and that they add value in the world, that, that, that is not from effort and time, but that's from how well are they at adding value and how well are they at solving problems that one hack will dramatically change the course and direction of your kid's life?

Oh, 100%.

I wish I would have known that as a kid personally.

Gosh, I was probably maybe even mid-30s before that really sank in at the deepest level that it needed to before I honestly.

And then I'm reminded of it all the time.

I got off track recently and had somebody to.

Had that took somebody to remind me that, okay, we're adding value here.

That's our first priority.

Stop worrying about the rest.

And geez, I love this.

Leading them into these concepts and to understand them at such a deep level at such a young age.

Yeah, I mean, Sharon Lecturer, she, she co wrote Rich Dad, Poor dad with Robert Kiyosaki.

And something that her dad, a question her dad asked her every single day is, who did you create value for today?

Every single day would ask her that question.

And if you want a really simple way to have some meaningful conversations with your kids, just ask them that question.

How did you create value today?

Who did you create value for today?

And you will get the most interesting stories and you'll start to train their brains that they are looking for ways to solve problems to add value.

And if you are a, you know, business owner online, it's the same thing, man.

If you imagine if every single person in the company knew not just the mission of the company, but that they were out actively looking to solve problems.

Like, not just, I'm clocking in, I'm clocking out.

Not just I did this because you told me to do this, but they're like actively thinking like entrepreneurs, even though they're not entrepreneurs, that they're thinking with this value creation mindset, with this problem solving mindset.

And rather than complaining about things, they're actively looking to find ways and look for solutions to make things better.

Right.

I love this so much.

We used to have a philosophy at our company, this short, super short story, but we would celebrate those things.

We actually had an occurrence one time.

One of our service technicians was on the way to his appointment, was running just barely late, pretty close on time, called into the office to tell Us he was going to be good amount later to his appointment because he came across a single woman on the side of the road with a couple kids and he was helping her change her flat tire.

We celebrated it, called the appointment he was headed to and told them the whole story.

And it turned out to be the most incredible experience.

Incredible.

Next appointment, they had no problem.

He was late.

And just every bit of it paid forward into the rest of the day.

And for us to be able to celebrate that and create that culture of let's help the community, we're out there anyway.

You're capable, you have the tools.

When you come across things, you can add value to go for it.

And just one little example of like this whole mindset and I love this so much.

Yeah.

And stories are such a powerful way to communicate that.

So if you've got, you know, stories inside of the business, a lot of companies have a mission statement on the wall and they've got values that they say are important, but without a story to back it up, you, you communicated so much more through that one story than you could with a plaque of here's our five values.

So you want to do the same thing inside of your family as, as things come up, as, as things happen, you want to be able to, to celebrate them and to share them.

So I think that's just.

Yeah, it's a really big deal when it comes to value creation and teaching that, that mindset to your kids.

And you will save so much pain if your kids just really understand how to create value and they're looking for ways to create value around the home and then eventually, you know, in the marketplace when they're starting businesses or starting jobs.

Right, Right.

Absolutely.

I love this so much.

So that's leaving things better and the, the kind of last point leaving things better is doing it complaint free.

Right.

So we want to.

Sometimes when we have gigs that we do around the home, part of what they get paid isn't just, you know, in the same way of chores where it's like, here's your chores and here you get paid.

They have a chore or they have a.

The sorry, a gig that they can do.

And when the gig is done, they need to come and let me know and I go look at the gig and I tell them whether they earned full amount for it or not full amount.

And earning not full amount either means that they, you know, didn't do the job properly, which is a chance for some coaching and some correction, or they didn't do it with the right Attitude.

So they're learning how to do things this way.

They're learning that they're not lazy victims.

They don't complain when they don't get what they want.

This idea of like, how can I?

Instead of I can't.

And a kind of good way to, to, to check this is how do our children react when they don't get what they want?

Sure.

Sometimes you're like, oh, yeah, my, my kids are so well behaved.

Yeah, they're well behaved.

As long as I'm giving them everything that they want.

How do they handle it when things don't go well?

Right.

When they hear that infamous word, two letter word of no.

100%.

Complaining is a tool for children.

Complaining is a way that they get what they want and they need to learn that it's a useless tool.

So don't give into it.

You got to correct them with clear instructions, give consequences if needed.

But you want to create that complaint free environment and really, you know, be able to focus on what is it that they're learning, what is the skill that we want them to get.

And just this overall idea of celebrating leaving things better.

If you do that one thing and you just focus on celebrating every time somebody leaves something better, whether that's cleaning up a campsite after your leaving, when you're camping, whether that is, you know, problem solving, whether that's looking for a way to add value.

One of the stories from.

For my daughter, when I said, who did you add value to today?

She was like, we were at the grocery store and, and this lady's bag broke and our groceries all fell out.

And so I, I helped her put them all back.

She was so thankful, and she was so thankful that she pulled out $10 and tried to pay me.

And I told her no.

Wow.

And we were able to have a great conversation about adding value.

And we were also able to talk about, you know, that that charity is a great thing and it's great to do things, you know, for free.

And at the same time, if somebody offers to pay you for something and they're telling you you added a bunch of value, that it's okay to say yes, that it's okay to take it, especially if it's in a, you know, mom was there.

So it's a safe environment.

Right.

So learning that like sometimes as I meet entrepreneurs as a business coach and where they're stuck is in like receiving, they add value and they have a problem saying yes when somebody gives back.

Right.

Right.

So these are all kind of opportunities to be able To.

To just teach your children.

Ah, this is so super powerful.

And one thing I learned years ago too, when some.

When people are trying to give you things, when we tell them no, we're basically robbing them of their.

Their gratitude.

They're trying to be grateful in the way that they know how, and we're robbing them of their ability to have gratitude at the same time.

100.

That was literally the conversation I love you mentioned.

That was.

The conversation with my daughter was like, when the.

I forget the exact example, but she.

She had tried to give something to somebody and they didn't accept it.

And then she, like, didn't feel the joy of being able to give something.

And it was like, this is an opportunity for this lady to give something back to you and probably could have created some joy of seeing your face light up and be thankful for the $10 and.

And do something with it.

So, yeah, I love that.

So that is leaving things better.

The next things is.

Is doing hard things.

And a lot of times when we go through this part of the training, we'll talk about connection and we'll talk about spending time together on the connection side of things, or we'll talk about one of the practices we use is.

Is called efft.

And it's a really great way to have connection inside of the family.

And when something goes wrong with one of the children that you really focus on, what's the emotion that they're feeling?

So if my daughter comes to me and says, I'm the worst friend in the world, everything inside me wants to say, like, no, you're not, sweetie.

You're not the worst friend.

And to console her.

Sure.

Instead of saying, why are you feeling that way?

And then she says, well, because this happened.

And then I did this and this and this and just validating that feeling by saying, I could see why you're feeling like the worst friend in the world right now and letting it be felt and maybe asking an additional question of, like, you know, what are you.

What are you feeling?

I said, I'm in conversation with my son today.

And I was like, is it.

Is it more frustration or is it more disappointment?

And just helping them, like, clarify words.

When we go through that side of things, a lot of times there is, you know, a wife kind of elbowing the husband, like, hey, listen up here.

Like, this is.

This would.

This would be useful to you.

Right.

You're always trying to jump right to coaching and you're missing this validating part.

Yeah.

Then on the flip side of that, when we get to this section and we get to a part where we're talking about do hard things.

There's a concept about, are you more of a coach or are you more of a caretaker to your kids?

Wow.

If you're being a caretaker, what that means is you're just solving problems, you're doing things for them, and they're missing out on the capability.

We want to train and coach our children to overcome challenges and we have to as parents, not swoop in and take care of everything for them.

How are they going to learn courage?

Right.

How are they going to learn to do hard things if they don't have an opportunity to do hard things?

Because we're always jumping in.

That's that.

So of course there's all the different categories and parenting styles and the, the helicopter parents and all these things.

And boy, that, that's, that's a really great point.

And my brain is of course spinning off the rails because I'm thinking about my coaching clients and thinking, wow, man, being a coach or caretaker over there too.

And every single thing we talk about, my brain is smacking it right up against the business side and bouncing it back and forth and like to see these correlations are so very clear.

Yeah.

And I mean, and not to take.

Us away from family, but I can't help but think of it.

It's just, it's wild how it relates to.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's unreal.

If, if you're like, hey, we want anti fragile kids.

Well, you can say, are my employees anti fragile?

Right.

Do they, do they know how to solve problems?

Do they come to me all the time.

There's from, from Dan Martel.

He talks about the 131 rule, which is when somebody in his team comes to him and they have a problem, if you just answer the problem and answer the problem and answer the problem and answer the problem, then you have employees that have no capability.

The 131 rule is, he says, what is one problem?

And, and that's an important part.

We're not solving nine different problems in this one conversation.

So one problem, three is what are three things you've researched?

What are three solutions that you've thought about?

Tell me how you've looked into them.

And then what's your one suggestion out of those three?

Which one do you think we should do?

If they need to come to you and they come to you with a problem, you say, hey, have you thought through the 131 yet?

And they go, no, I'll come back to you or, yes, I have.

And you go, great.

What's the one problem?

What.

What are we solving for?

Problem well defined is half solved, right?

What's the problem we're solving for?

What are the three things that you've thought about, solutions you've thought about, and what research have you done into them so far?

And what's your one suggestion?

If they come to you with that, not only is some of your work done, but it gives you such a great way to be able to give them insight because you can hear their way of thinking.

And the more that problems can be solved at a lower, lower level in the organization, it's being solved more and more by the people that are.

That are touching it and that are interacting with it on a daily basis.

That's an example of being a coach, being a caretaker is, hey, I have this problem, and you're like, oh, let me.

Let me solve that for you.

And sometimes I've been in a position where not only am I being a caretaker, but I'm judging myself on the speed at which I'm caretaking, right?

Like, oh, am I solving this problem fast enough?

Oh, sorry, I can't solve this payroll thing until this time.

Or I'm sorry.

And you're trying to, like, how do I just solve every problem for every person as quickly as possible?

And then apologizing for not get it done fast enough?

Yeah.

100.

So it starts in the little things.

I remember.

My son's 14 now.

I remember that he was really little, and there was a.

There was a time when he must have been less than a year because he was still crawling.

And we went to a play place, and he was.

He was trying to crawl across this platform, and he gets to one spot, and he's kind of reaching, and you can tell that he's.

That he's scared.

And instead of lifting him from one side to the other, instead of pulling him off, I literally just sat there with him.

And I don't know why.

I just an instinct.

And my wife was like, that was crazy to watch.

You just.

You just stood there with him and let him feel the fear and let him sit there, and you gave him a little encouragement, and then he went forward and did it.

He, like, went across a little chasm.

And the thing you got to remember as a parent is that.

That my job is to be their coach.

If I do it right, I can be their coach for life about how to be an amazing human being.

And so it's not about the thing, right?

It's not about can they play on a play place?

It's not.

Can they find things to do around the house as chores?

Like that's.

We don't make it about that.

It's so easy.

As somebody who gets paid by the value they create as a business owner or if you get paid, you know, by the job.

From, from a sales perspective, it can be so easy to just try to put all of your time into those types of things and to learn what's the value of your dollar per hour when you're doing those types of things.

And then to.

To miss out on some other things because you're like, oh, this is a problem that with my kids, somebody else can solve.

Right.

I don't need to solve this because I could make this much by doing a sales call, or I could do this much by.

And we miss out on these moments because we, we think that they're like lower dollar per hour things.

And what we miss is that it's not about the task, it's about the character that you're developing.

Wow.

And if you think in terms of what are the core values you want our children to have, and when something pops up, kids don't learn at your pace.

Kids don't learn when you're ready.

If you were like, hey, come sit down.

I want to teach you something that is not the time.

If you give them opportunities and scenarios and they can do something to failure and then come back and say, can I have some help?

Now they're super open.

One of the gigs that I just gave to my son and I told him I would give him, I'd give him some electronics points.

Our kids don't get iPads and stuff for free.

They gotta earn points.

E Bucks is what we call them.

And they earn those E Bucks and cash it in for time on the PlayStation or time for other things.

And one of the great blessings of it is that they're on electronics less because they got to be outside for an hour to get a certain number of points.

That buys them 30 minutes of.

Of PlayStation time.

So, you know, they want to do two hours of PlayStation, they got to spend four hours outside.

So it solves things automatically.

And one of the things to do for points was there's this video from Dan Martell.

He had just seen Dan at a king's club and got to see his McLaren.

My.

My son's 14.

We went to an event and my son got to like, learn from this guy.

So now he's obsessed with Dan Martell, who owns a big sas Company and, and author of a really great book called buy back your time.

So we see this video of him and I tell my son, hey, this is 40 things that he wish he knew when he was a kid.

Watch this video and I'll give you some electronics points.

And he's like, how many points do I get?

And I said, I'm not going to tell you how many points you get.

The points you get are going to be based on the type of feedback that you give me from what you, from what you learn from him.

Wow.

Yeah.

Didn't give him instruction on how.

And then about three minutes later he is kind of walking up the stairs and he's like, hey dad, if you were trying to get the most points possible, what type of notes would you make?

How would you make?

What a great question.

Totally different than if I'm like, hey, you should do it this way.

Hey, you should do it that way.

We just, I just designed a scenario where he's incentivized for the thing that he wants to be able to be a great learner, right?

So a.

The first thing I said to him was what you said to me, which is, dude, great question, right?

In school that's called cheating.

In the real world, that's how you make money.

You just.

Right.

That is life.

That's success.

100.

The.

The school scenario is so hilarious, dude.

Because in school it's like you, you get the lesson first and then you take the test, you get the lesson, you study, study, study, then you get the test.

And in the real world, especially as an entrepreneur, it's you get the test first and then you get the lesson.

No joke.

I hate it when lessons have dollar amounts attached to them.

But you remember those ones, right?

Never make those mistakes again.

One time.

That's it.

Those one time mistakes.

So yeah, so I love kind of that, that idea.

Idea.

And again, it's, it's coming out of this idea of like, are you a coach or are you a caretaker?

Are you solving all the problems for you?

Are you giving them all the answers or are you letting them like go through something?

Right?

Letting them learn some things and allowing them to be able to embrace challenges.

So my son's 14, my daughter's 10 and something we do this year, they homeschool.

And one of the things we've given them is every year up until now, my wife would say, here's what you have to do every single day.

And it was her job to make sure that they were done school by the end of the year.

And Then she would tell them do this and then they would push back and they just, you know, argue about it all day.

And instead, this year we said, here's the deal, we're going to break the school year up into four quarters.

And here's a little document, the same type that I use in my business.

Here is where you need to be by the end of the quarter.

I'm not going to talk to you every single day about where you're at.

We're going to have a meeting every Friday so that I know where you're at.

But when we get to the end of the quarter, when we get to the end of the two months, if you're not caught up, if you're not to where you should be, then there's no electronics.

And here's the list of things that you can't do until you're caught up.

And it's not just about, here's a cool way for me to make sure that they do their work right.

It's about, this is a skill.

If they want to start a business in the future or with the way technology and AI and stuff is going, I think a lot of employees are going to have a lot more independence and, and freelance type work.

And so the, the idea of them deciding when they're going to do things like that lesson is, is as important as the school lesson to me.

And so as they're going through that, my, my son's like, I did this and this and this to, to be able to get ahead.

And then I got sick and then this happened and, and you know, now I'm a little bit behind and, and we're just like having a conversation about that today and like, you know, reframing some of those things and, and just talking about like, that's a really important lesson in life if you're, if you're setting a goal to go do something.

I think it's Grant Cardone who says that human beings will, were naturally bad at estimating how long something happens or will take to do.

Because we think about it through the lens of if everything goes perfectly, it should take this long, right?

And he says, set a goal that's 10 times as big as what you think, because that's probably, if you take actions in alignment with like that, then you're probably going to get to where you want to go.

But it's, you know, of these, these hundred families that, that Scott has, has worked with where, where they've got kids that just, you know, blow by their, their, their parents, the Thing that they have in common is almost all of them either in their core values or what we call bumper stickers, which is just like little phrases for your family.

Almost all of them have something that say, you know, Wakefields do hard things or something around this idea of being anti fragile about this idea of like some.

Just because something's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Sometimes you should do it just because it's hard to develop the ability to do hard things.

I love this so much.

It's definitely something that we, we train into the family, not train into the.

Everything is I say is trained that we instill into the family is, you know, sometimes it's worth doing something hard just because it's hard.

Right.

So you can say, I did this and nobody else can.

And it's that.

It's not necessarily for bragging rights, but it's that moment of like accomplishment and that.

The confidence that it builds within that and it's like it so aligns with the, the bigger mission and purpose of contribution.

And it just, it hits so deep on the level when, you know, we can have those kids that everybody else bails out early and everybody else quits because it's hard.

And they're the ones that stick through it and say, you know what, I wanted to, but I didn't.

Yeah, I love that.

I think a really quick tip on that is if you want to really create children that have inner strength and kids that have grit and that like, move forward.

Something that I did wrong as a parent and I didn't even realize I was doing it, is praising gifts.

You want to praise choices, not gifts.

So for instance, I would always say things like, oh, you're so smart.

Oh, you're so pretty.

Oh, you're so.

And what you're.

What you're praising is gifts.

You're praising things that your kids were born with that they didn't do anything to develop.

And what happens is that becomes their identity.

They're like, I'm so pretty.

I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty.

But then what happens if one day you don't wake up and you don't feel pretty, it's largely outside of your control and your identity is tied to it.

If it's like, you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, you're smart, and then you fail a test, then your identity is shaken.

You're like, well, maybe I'm not smart, maybe I'm not.

Those things that I was told instead of that you want to praise choices instead of saying you're so smart, why not just change that and say, wow, I really admire the way that you studied.

You showed a lot of commitment in the way that you studied.

Right.

You really worked hard to accomplish this.

100.

So just finding the ways that you're, you're praising your kids in, in and change it from gifts to choices and say what are the things?

And just like, like your job as a coach is to be able to find those areas, to find those things that they're doing great at and point it out.

And then if you get really great at that, there's times where they'll, your children will come up against something and you can remind them of the time that they did this other thing that was also hard or they did this other thing that took a lot of commitment or they did this other thing that took, you know, some dedication or whatever that thing is that you're, you know, trying to, trying to bring out more.

But you know, the choice like you had an opportunity to either let's say my, my son's playing some, some rollerblade hockey and it's with like multi.

Multiple different ages and like you had a choice of like just competing in and winning and making winning the most important thing or in this case like there was some, you know, a league that's not a super competitive and there were some younger kids that were playing and maybe the, the thing to learn today isn't how to be the best winner.

Maybe the thing to learn today is, you know, how can I have some empathy for some of the other people that, that are there and just reframing some of the way that they're thinking.

Right.

Yeah.

That it's.

So my brain's bouncing all again, my brain right now has landed squarely in the middle of a bunch of different vans and vehicles that I did ride alongs with this last year doing coaching and training for people in appointments.

And going into it, my initial, I realized how I was a caretaker versus the coach in those moments in similar situations.

So and for everybody, listen, I'm interjecting a little bit of this.

So you can take this and by extension apply it to a lot of different elements of your life because it's how my brain works.

But also of course applies all the family stuff.

But you know, initially when I started doing ride alongs, you know, I would talk to the owners of the company and be like, oh, we're going to sell so much while I'm there.

And I realized real fast that when I go in and I lead the sales appointment and, you know, we close this incredible sale, you know, did the guy.

Did the guys and men and women learn a few things?

Yes, of course.

But how much better is it to let them, okay, I'll demonstrate these couple parts, but then you do it and let them fail.

And then to be able to say, okay, can you see how if we had followed this process, it would have avoided this mistake.

And then let them feel the pain of the failure from it and see the clear path out of it.

It's the difference in coach and, you know, caretaker.

And so for all of you, everybody listening, that's how you apply it to the business side.

All these.

Think of all the scenarios that would make sense to that this makes sense in.

You don't have to be the owner or manager.

This works.

This is important for everyone.

And also, of course, back to, you know, back to family.

And it's not just our kids.

It's right.

How many other people in our lives come to us with these same, same things?

It's not business, but somewhere in family or friend relationships that, you know, these categories and.

And things it 100% applies to everybody around us.

Taylor Welsh, in his business, he says, missing your numbers is not a sin.

Not knowing why is.

Wow.

So if you, you know, miss out on that sale, like, that's okay.

But if you don't know why you missed it, that's a problem, because now you're not getting better.

And, you know, to your point, if you're there for a week, like, you can make some sales while you're there, and they're effectively your sales, not the other person sales.

And then as soon as you go, the numbers go back down to where they were before you got there, or you can, you know, do that coaching.

And you're a phenomenal coach, man.

So I. I appreciate that you're saying coach versus caretaker and that you're such a great student, which is what makes you such a great coach.

And thinking about, like, how can I get even better, but really making sure that you're.

You're like coaching people to where it can run without you.

And I was a part of a long, long time ago.

I went to school to learn how to become a chef, and I worked at a chain restaurant, and part of my job was to go and they would fly me to different cities and we would do exactly what you're talking about, and we'd teach all of the staff in the kitchen and what.

What that program did in the.

In the early days was that they would teach everybody, and then they'd have some soft opening where there's friends and family and.

And people coming, coming in.

And as soon as the kitchen staff got in the weeds, that we called it, when they got in trouble, then the trainers would come out and they would just jump in and they would fix everything.

Thing the problem was that the staff never learned, how do I operate when things aren't perfectly how do I operate?

And, you know, a customer's yelling at the server and the server's yelling at me, and I've still got all these things to do.

And they never learned how to operate from that place.

And the trainers knew how because they were forged by fire.

They learned how to go through that part, but the new staff didn't.

And so the place would run great, and then as soon as the trainers would leave, it would fall apart.

And so one of the things that they had to teach us when it came to training the trainer is just how difficult it is to become a coach.

And they did an exercise, you might be familiar with this one, where they say, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And they say, you got to make.

The one group of people gets together, and you need to make a list of instructions for somebody else to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And you give the instructions, and it's very clear and very simple.

And then when somebody's actually reading the instructions and following your instructions, it'll say, take out two pieces of bread, put them on the counter, put peanut butter on one side and jam on the other.

And they take one slice of bread, and they put peanut butter on one side of that slice of bread, and they put jam on the other side of that slice of bread, and they leave the other piece plain.

And you're like, that's not what I meant.

That's what's written.

That's what's written.

And so you learn really quickly how difficult it is to be a coach.

And part of that is sometimes our own egos get in the way that we want things to be a certain way.

And especially with parenting, right?

Like, oh, I want to be the type of parent where, when we're somewhere that other parents look and say, oh, look how well behaved that that kid is.

Well, what's the lesson that your.

Your child is going through, like.

Or some.

Sometimes that presents itself and it's.

It's in a good way.

Other times, the way that somebody looks like a good parent is because they fold and they cave on every single thing.

And their Child gets everything they want while they're outside of the house.

And that's why their kids are always in a good mood and never upset because they just get every single thing that they want.

Right.

Well, that might be good short term, but how is that impacting your children over the long term?

Right?

So like you said, it takes, it's.

It's difficult.

And as a trainer, you literally had to stand there and watch, like, some meals get screwed up and thrown in the garbage and some servers yelling at some people and.

But that's the only way that they built the competency so that they could be good for the long term.

Right?

So competence leads to having the courage to take a step again and the harder and harder situations.

And it's incredible how all of this just really seems together when, when you really start to put the pieces to the puzzle together between the roots and the wings conversation.

And it just becomes more apparent and clear the more that we talk about different scenarios.

So we went through and we talked about leave things better.

We've talked about do hard things.

The last one is make hard choices.

And there's a lot of hard choices when it comes to parenting.

And I think this one and all of them, but this one really applies both to parents and the kids.

So are we making the hard choices as parents?

Are we making the hard choices, choices as business owners?

And then are we giving our children the chance to be able to make hard choices?

And so this really comes down to, you know, how we discipline.

A lot of times we don't really give our kids choices or we don't let them make difficult choices.

It's, it's usually that we're like, reactively disciplining rather than training our children proactively.

So making hard choices when it comes to discipline, like what, what does that actually look like?

Where are some areas where you are allowing some natural consequences?

My, my mom was somebody who didn't believe in, in spanking.

However, anytime she perceives something as being like, very dangerous physically, she would spank.

So if I went to run out in front of traffic, then that would be something where she'd give me a spank and I'd be like, oh, pain bad, not good.

So the point isn't whether you should spank or not spank your kids.

It is, are you willing to let them face consequences and go through bad things?

And an example of this is my son saved up a, a bunch of money and he bought something.

And the thing that he, that he, he bought, he was like, really excited about Quite, quite a few years ago and within like a day it just broke.

And it's like, you know, a fifty dollar thing.

And so as the parent, I can literally make all of the pain go away with $50, go buy a new one.

Wasn't his fault that it broke.

Right.

But the thing is though, is now I'm just solving a problem and he's not going through and learning about anything to do with that.

Right.

So it, it's, it's difficult to just say, yeah, sometimes you buy something and, and it breaks.

And we went through and looked at, you know, different ways that we could be able to get a refund or get it fixed or.

But letting them go through some disappointment.

And I know we're talking about discipline, this isn't really in that category, but just like allowing them to be able to go through some things sometimes that are hard, sometimes that are unfair and just having a conversation about it.

A friend of mine, they went from, you know, just giving their kids allowance and buying them everything to using the GIG system.

And their son's like, I think eight.

And so he started saving some money up and he bought this Lego set and he saved and saved and saved and he spent whatever, 55 bucks on a Lego set.

And after he bought it, they went home and the kid was a wreck and he was just like, did I make the wrong choice?

He had all this fomo, should I have bought this?

What happened?

He's going through all of this.

And I know this couple really well and, and I could just see it in the wife that she was like, you know, we're already having a hard time in some other things and this is probably not the, the best time to be adding something new in.

And, and now we're causing them, you know, some, some trauma here by having.

Them go through this mental anguish.

Mental anguish.

By the way, there's a big difference between, between trauma and healthy struggle.

Right, right.

The difference with embracing challenges and healthy struggle is, number one, it's in a safe environment and number two, you're in it with them.

That's the difference.

So she's like, man, I don't know if this is the right thing.

And I could just, I could just see it.

And the, the perspective of being a coach instead of a caretaker is you're not causing this.

It might have started around the idea of Lego, but you're not the one causing this.

What's causing this is a natural emotion around, did I make the right choice?

Did I make the wrong choice?

And if your son doesn't learn it now, it's going to keep repeating.

Right.

And you can learn this lesson on the 55 Lego set or the $55,000 car when he's 19.

Right.

And if he doesn't learn how to go through it now, how much, like, the consequences go up, the stakes go up, the pressure goes up when you buy the wrong car.

Yeah.

So we're trying to, like, protect our children from going through these things rather than understanding, no, they're going to go through hard choices in their life.

The only question is, are they going to go through hard choices in a safe environment where I'm there and we can talk through it, or are they going to go through these hard choices after I'm gone?

Right.

And they've moved out, or once I'm gone, gone and there's nobody to go through it with them and the stakes are higher.

Wow.

That, that, that hits hard home on so many levels.

Because looking it kind of like we were talking about earlier, about when the lessons start to have dollar amounts attached, it's the same thing, right?

These will get bigger and bigger and bigger until we learn the lessons.

Let's learn it soon.

Let's learn it early.

Just like other choices that we have to make that have consequences attached if we don't make that, don't learn the lesson soon enough.

So, man, this is.

This is fantastic.

So I think the last thing I'd say in this section is, you know, this, this is really about, you know, kids making hard choices and, and giving them the opportunity to do that.

And, you know, part of that's around discipline, part of that's around integrity.

Right.

Every time they choose to do the right thing, even when no one's.

You.

Know, that's a big deal.

You want to celebrate that.

You want to call that out.

You want to make sure that you've got, you know, alignment.

As parents, I think one of the things that comes up for me a lot, I remember having a conversation with my wife, Candice, and we were having, like, a disagreement, having a fight about, like, I think it should be this way.

She's like, no, I think it should be this way.

And we went back and forth and back and forth until finally she said to me, well, why do you think it should be that way?

And I thought about it and I was like, actually, I don't, I don't even know why I'm making a case for this.

Yeah, I think this is just what my parents did, and I don't even like it.

Yeah, same.

I think I Think the same thing on mine.

So let's find our own way.

Right?

Find our own way.

Let's decide.

Right.

So often we just do things based on defaults because we don't have a system that we've developed together.

So that takes some.

That takes some courage as adults to have alignment, to have some of these tough conversations.

And something that I would say from a parenting perspective is that conflict is not the issue.

Unresolved conflict is the issue.

Yeah.

And a lot of times it takes guts and it takes courage.

Dan Sullivan says all progress begins by telling the truth.

That's another version of courage, because you keep getting the same pattern over and over and over and over and over.

If you don't have the courage to talk about it.

True.

Something that we do in business, we have what something called the pro Manifesto.

And it's like our list of values.

And one of them is speak truth.

And we frame it in the type of way where it's like, hey, if we're doing a call review and you're listening to a sales call and we say, hey, we're going to rate your authority, tonality, and control out of 10, if you just give them nines across the board, even though it sucked, you're not helping anybody.

No way.

Why are we even here?

Right?

You're not helping the, the homeowner, you're not helping the rep. Like, there's a case to be made that says you're actually being selfish.

You care more about how they feel about you, then you care about them and their family and their income and their improvement.

Right.

And so we talk about things the same way as, like a sports team would talk about game tape.

We're reviewing game tape.

If I'm, if I'm, if I'm looking at game tape and I don't tell the truth when I'm looking at it, nobody's getting any better.

Right.

But that's an example of something that takes courage and having in the Pro Manifesto, this idea of speaking truth makes it easier for people to celebrate it, and it makes easier for people to start the conversation and to say, hey, in the spirit of speaking truth, here's what I, what I'm seeing.

Here's what I notice, right?

This is so powerful and reinforces so many things we already know to do, but we're hesitant to do it, maybe from lack of courage.

Right.

I know that personally, and this is definitely episodes for getting transparent and, and vulnerable.

But I know personally, I have this struggle with my two oldest that, you know, I, I'm Constantly wanting to be, you know, the.

The dad that's the friend.

And I have a hard time, internal struggle to, you know, be dad the parent when I need to be, you know, it just always.

I'll have a conversation with my partner, and then when it comes time to talk to the kid, it's like, it softens into something that then I feel gross.

And it's like, oh, why can I do this in every other area of my life and retain my posture, my confidence?

And then it.

I chicken out in this conversation.

And it's.

It's such a great reminder to.

We have to have the courage at the same time and do the hard thing sometimes as parents is having those hard conversations with our kids.

It doesn't matter.

We're still the parent.

It doesn't matter if they like the conversation or not, or we like the conversation or not.

This still has to happen.

Or, of course, when it goes.

When it doesn't happen, then, you know, all hell breaks loose, so to speak.

So.

Yeah.

And.

And I think I'm in the same spot, like, definitely not teaching any of this stuff from.

From a mountaintop.

This is all, like, stuff I'm going through and learning.

And one of the things I love about the.

The Dan Sullivision, Dan Sullivan version of courage that we talked about the beginning, which is fear is peeing your pants.

And courage is doing what you need to do with wet pants.

It's not hiding the wet pants.

It's not pretending that they don't exist.

It's not.

And there's a lot of, like, a lot can be done in parenting with just some openness and some transparency in a conversation that says, you know, I. I want to be your friend, because I want to be your friend long past you being a child.

And I value our friendship a lot.

And at the same time, I have a specific hat that I need to wear sometimes.

It's called the dad hat.

And that dad hat is like, when I'm a business coach, and as a business coach, I have to care more about the person that somebody wants to become and their character than I care about their feelings and that have some conversations.

And so sometimes just, like, calling something out and saying, like, this takes courage for me because I don't like seeing you hurt, and it makes me, like, it's just really difficult for me.

And I want you to be able to get these lessons.

And I also don't want, you know, to feel like I'm, you know, hurting your feelings or something like that.

And it's Important that you know that your value doesn't come from your actions.

Your value doesn't come from any of those things.

You're just, you're an innately valuable person.

And there's not a single thing that you could do that would make me stop loving you.

I love it.

I'll always love you no matter what.

That's something I've said to all the kids for a long time.

I will always love you no matter what.

And man, it's such a good way to, to land this plane.

I know we've been together for, for a good amount of time now.

So wrap this up for us, man.

We put it in a, put it in, put it in a basket for us.

And obviously this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Even, just these, even four episodes is the tip of the iceberg to the work that you're doing.

And so let's close it up a little bit and then tell everybody how they can find out more.

I know there's a lot of people that are going to be really wanting to dive into this and really restructure their family life for the better.

Because if nothing changes, nothing changes.

And I know that's where I'm at.

And so help us out here.

Yeah, definitely.

I think, I think there was something that I was going through which is an exercise going through with Scott and it is really around this idea of, of, of courage as a parent.

And it is making some hard choices as a parent and coming up with, and saying what are we going to do with some of these big things?

Like are my kids going to pay for half of their first car?

None of their first car.

All of their first car, Are they going to pay for college?

Are they going to pay for their first home?

Am I going to help?

Am I not going to help?

What are we going to do for an inheritance?

And a lot of times what you see in families is these things just get not talked about and then kids have no idea what to expect.

They don't know if they're paying for all of college or none of college or half of college.

They don't, they have no idea.

I've seen scenarios where there's 44 year old, you know, men that are waiting for some uncle, rich uncle to die because they think they're going to get X amount of inheritance that never comes.

Right.

And they just wasted years waiting around so making some of these hard choices, some of these hard decisions.

And as I was going through that process, one of the questions was what do you, what are you doing for an inheritance?

Are you giving all the money to your kids?

None of the money to your kids are giving it to charity.

What are you doing?

And as I struggled through that, I was like, you know, we've talked about this on other episodes of this idea that, you know, making the million, not for the million, but for the person you become in the process.

Right.

And I don't want to just pass down a bunch of money without any capabilities.

And so I still don't have a clear, full answer on exactly what I want to do.

If it's a, you know, even if it's a charitable trust that you build in, your kids have the access to give that money away, but they don't have the access to have themselves.

They're still going to have people in their life that are fake friends that want to get close to them because they have access to a charitable trust.

Right.

And so while I don't have a clear definition of what it is that I want to do, and it's different for every single family, what came very clear to me is that I don't want to pass down the money without the capability.

Right.

The capability, the character, all of it.

And it really made me do some reflection about, like, if that's the thing that's most important, why am I missing out on so many moments so that I can go try to make more money that I'm gonna, what, not pass down anyway?

Right.

Not pass down and give it to some charity?

Like, that's insanity.

Yeah.

So I'm playing this.

This game, and the competitive part of me is activated.

Trying to win this game for a prize that I don't really even care that much about.

Do I want life experience?

Do I want the person I'm going to become in the process?

Yeah, I want all of that.

But it really made me reflect a little bit on, man, how am I spending these moments with my kids?

How am I using these opportunities to focus more on what I'm passing down to them, like, what I'm leaving in them, rather than what I'm leaving to them.

Right, Right, Absolutely.

So I think that'd be my.

My challenge to.

To parents that, you know, that are listening.

Something that was.

That was very real for me was this.

This.

This realization that I'd read, you know, 200 books on business and two books on parenting.

You'd ask me what my priorities were.

I'd say, family is up there.

But if you looked at my bookshelf, if you looked at my bank account, if you looked at where My calendar was.

Wasn't always in alignment.

So it doesn't have to be a chore to do this.

This type of work is stuff that you.

You get to do, you get to turn into a system, and then everything, including business, gets easier because you don't have this, you know, things on the back of your mind.

You don't have things that are, you know, not going properly inside of the.

The family side of things.

And we believe that, you know, being a parent and raising up kids with roots and wings is the thing that we celebrate the highest, the thing that we find to be the most noble thing, the best use of.

Of your time on the planet.

And not to get too spiritual, but I feel like, you know, I'm a steward of my children and that I have these little children that were, you know, gifted to me and to be able to say, here's the work that I did and let me, you know, release them out to the world better than I got them and allow them to build up that, you know, that courage and that capability and to become kids that don't just have material value, but also spiritual value and emotional value that.

That make a big impact in the world, but that also want to be connected, that my children want to be friends with each other for the rest of their lives, and they want to be around and that some of the traditions that we have together, they want to continue.

I can't think of anything more meaningful than that.

Right.

That's so powerful.

Well, thank you so much for being a guest on the show for this whole series.

It has been a joy and a privilege and an honor to get the opportunity to be the platform that you bring this message to.

And I know that so many people will be impacted by what we've talked about.

And so let them know, let everybody know how they can get in touch with you, how they can learn more, how they can get some more of this.

This type of training and this content and just help with their families.

You know, do we talk about courses and training?

Yes, but at the end of the day, it's like, I need help.

Where can we find it?

100%.

So if you go to fig and eagle.com, that's our site.

The fig tree is the one that has the deepest roots of any tree, and the eagle has the strongest wing.

So fig and eagle spelled out or.

Like an ampersand type of and spelled out.

Fig and eagle.com.

Cool.

You got it.

And if you go to forward, slash, close it now, we'll have some extra resources for the podcast listeners.

One of the most asked requested things is we talked about in the Connection section, a family party where you're getting together, doing a fun activity, doing some reflection time afterwards.

And so we will link up a PDF in there that you can use for your family parties.

Also from today's Courage section, we have a, a PDF that is going through some, some dos and don'ts around being a coach rather than a caretaker.

Uh, so we have a little guide for you on that as well.

So a couple of different goodies from all four of our podcasts.

I love it.

Thank you so much for those gifts.

That is definitely a grateful for those.

And everybody listening.

Don't just listen, take action.

Remember, success happens at the speed of implementation.

And this is one of the ways you can get Take action is go to FIG and eagle.comforward/closeit now and get those resources.

I know that Jimmy's not going to offer those everywhere and I'm grateful for that and everybody.

It will make a difference in your sales life by extension.

But most importantly, like, remember that your business is one of the glass balls, right?

I mean, your business is a rubber ball.

It'll bounce back your family and your health.

Those are the two glass balls.

We don't drop those.

So, yes, make a difference in your life by taking action.

So man, thanks for being here.

It has been a pleasure.

Any, any parting words?

Sign off words here.

Just glad to be with you and as you always say, become somebody worth buying from.

Ooh, thanks Jimmy.

You've been listening to the Close it now podcast.

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