<b>and this one officer, you could actually</b>

<b>see the color leave his face.</b>

<b>He said, "You're the one</b>

<b>that wrote that over there?"</b>

<b>I said, "Yes." I mean,</b>

<b>tears were coming down.</b>

<b>He said, "You're the one that let me know</b>

<b>I don't have to die to be appreciated."</b>

<b>[MUSIC]</b>

<b>Vivian Eney Cross would go on to leave a</b>

<b>permanent mark on one of</b>

<b>America's most sacred monuments.</b>

<b>But in August of 1984, she was just a</b>

<b>wife waiting for her husband to come home</b>

<b>from a training exercise.</b>

<b>So let's go back to</b>

<b>that fateful day, Vivian.</b>

<b>It's August 24, 1984. Your husband is</b>

<b>U.S. Capitol Police Sergeant Chris Eney.</b>

<b>Unfortunately, in a training exercise, he</b>

<b>was shot and killed, not by a criminal,</b>

<b>but unfortunately by a</b>

<b>fellow officer, in fact, a friend.</b>

<b>He left behind, of course, you and your</b>

<b>two young daughters.</b>

<b>Our guest today on Heroes Behind the</b>

<b>Badge is Vivian Eney Cross.</b>

<b>And what she did with that grief, that</b>

<b>unbelievable grief,</b>

<b>what she built from it,</b>

<b>that's the story that we're going to tell</b>

<b>today. That's the</b>

<b>conversation that you need to hear.</b>

<b>If you've ever visited D.C., the law</b>

<b>enforcement memorial wall, Judiciary</b>

<b>Square in Washington, D.C.,</b>

<b>unfortunately, there are over 24,000</b>

<b>names inscribed on that</b>

<b>wall of fallen officers.</b>

<b>Okay? But there's also an inscription,</b>

<b>and there are four lions</b>

<b>that guard the memorial wall.</b>

<b>And one of the lions on the west, the</b>

<b>northwest side of the</b>

<b>memorial, has an inscription.</b>

<b>And it's important to know what that was.</b>

<b>It's not how these officers</b>

<b>died that made them heroes.</b>

<b>It's how they lived. And you know, I've</b>

<b>been to the memorial hundreds of times.</b>

<b>I saw the inscription. I saw the name,</b>

<b>but I never was able</b>

<b>to put it with a face.</b>

<b>So today, finally, that is your</b>

<b>inscription. It is inscribed on the</b>

<b>marble walls of the Law</b>

<b>Enforcement Memorial. So I'd like to</b>

<b>start today by asking you</b>

<b>about Chris. You know, on Heroes</b>

<b>Behind the Badge podcast, we talk about</b>

<b>people who've done heroic</b>

<b>things, people who have paid</b>

<b>the ultimate price, but we oftentimes</b>

<b>don't talk about how they</b>

<b>lived. Let's take it right from</b>

<b>your quote. Talk to us about Chris and</b>

<b>how he lived. He was a</b>

<b>good man. He had integrity.</b>

<b>And we met in high school, dated on and</b>

<b>off. And then after high school, he</b>

<b>joined the army with</b>

<b>my brother. And he went into Green</b>

<b>Berets. And he was a Special Forces medic</b>

<b>that he never left the</b>

<b>United States. It was the height of the</b>

<b>war. So it just God must</b>

<b>have said, no, not this time.</b>

<b>So he did that. And then after he got</b>

<b>back, we got pregnant and</b>

<b>then he wanted to look for a</b>

<b>serious job. And there was a gentleman at</b>

<b>our church that was a</b>

<b>deputy chief, Yancey Garner.</b>

<b>And he knew him and talked to him. And he</b>

<b>was the influence for him to</b>

<b>go on over to Capitol Police</b>

<b>and to get on that department.</b>

<b>And interesting. How long had he served?</b>

<b>How long was Capitol Police?</b>

<b>12 and a half years.</b>

<b>12 and a half years. Do you recall any of</b>

<b>his recollections about</b>

<b>what it was like to police</b>

<b>the U.S. Capitol? You know, one of the</b>

<b>most prestigious police</b>

<b>positions you can have.</b>

<b>How did he feel about that?</b>

<b>He was very serious about his job there.</b>

<b>He had the privilege of guarding and</b>

<b>keeping the U.S. Capitol.</b>

<b>And it was an honor for him to do that.</b>

<b>Indeed. Indeed. Craig Floyd, one of our</b>

<b>co-hosts. Hey, Craig. Hello, Craig.</b>

<b>Dennis.</b>

<b>And Billy's here too. Billy Erfurth. We</b>

<b>got the whole crew here</b>

<b>for Vivian. Everybody.</b>

<b>Everybody showed up. Craig has some</b>

<b>particularly poignant memories.</b>

<b>He has a lot of history. Obviously, he's</b>

<b>the founder of the</b>

<b>memorial and had a long history</b>

<b>there. And you and Craig know each other</b>

<b>pretty well. I'd love to</b>

<b>hear Craig and you maybe have</b>

<b>some conversations about some of the</b>

<b>things that you guys</b>

<b>experienced together.</b>

<b>Let me start with a story very briefly,</b>

<b>but so powerful. And for me, especially,</b>

<b>I had the privilege of working for</b>

<b>Congressman Mario Biaggi, who introduced</b>

<b>the bill to authorize</b>

<b>a national law enforcement officers</b>

<b>memorial to be built. And that happened</b>

<b>in 1984, the same year</b>

<b>Vivian's husband, Chris, died in the line</b>

<b>of duty. And so a year</b>

<b>later in May, there was a group</b>

<b>called Concerns of Police Survivors that</b>

<b>was fledgling. It had</b>

<b>just started. Susie Sawyer</b>

<b>was their founder and executive director.</b>

<b>And Susie said, Craig,</b>

<b>come and talk to this group of</b>

<b>surviving family members that had</b>

<b>gathered really for the</b>

<b>first time in Washington, D.C.</b>

<b>for National Police Week and tell them</b>

<b>about this memorial that</b>

<b>Congressman Biaggi has now</b>

<b>authorized through law. And so I gave a</b>

<b>nice speech about the new</b>

<b>law, about this memorial</b>

<b>that was going to be built to honor the</b>

<b>men and women who had</b>

<b>died in the line of duty.</b>

<b>And I felt pretty good. You know, got a</b>

<b>nice ovation. I think</b>

<b>people were pretty happy with</b>

<b>the message I delivered. Went back to my</b>

<b>office and a couple hours</b>

<b>later, the phone rings. And</b>

<b>it's Vivian Eney calling me. And I</b>

<b>thought, oh, you know, she's a survivor.</b>

<b>I'm sure she's going</b>

<b>to thank me and say all these nice</b>

<b>things. That didn't actually happen.</b>

<b>Vivian was a rather angry,</b>

<b>rather bitter. She had lost her husband.</b>

<b>I told her how much</b>

<b>America cared, how much Congress</b>

<b>cared. And that's why we are building</b>

<b>this memorial. And</b>

<b>Vivian's experience was not so</b>

<b>positive. She did not feel that those</b>

<b>words really were authentic and true. And</b>

<b>she more or less read</b>

<b>me the riot act a bit. Fended, you know,</b>

<b>and I was the target, but I</b>

<b>knew she wasn't venting at</b>

<b>me. She was just getting it off her</b>

<b>system. But Vivian taught me something</b>

<b>very important that day.</b>

<b>She explained to me how many cards and</b>

<b>letters and phone calls she</b>

<b>had gotten from members of</b>

<b>Congress, from others, and how much that</b>

<b>meant to her. And I</b>

<b>thought to myself, my goodness,</b>

<b>if a condolence card or a phone call</b>

<b>could mean so much to a</b>

<b>survivor who's lost a loved one,</b>

<b>how much would a national monument mean?</b>

<b>A national memorial?</b>

<b>And for the first time,</b>

<b>I think I fully appreciated the</b>

<b>importance of the project that I had been</b>

<b>handed by Congressman</b>

<b>Biaggi. He said, "Go out and build this</b>

<b>memorial." And until then, it was just</b>

<b>one of many projects,</b>

<b>one of many issues I was working on for</b>

<b>him. But all of a sudden,</b>

<b>that project rose to the top of</b>

<b>the heap. And it became really my life's</b>

<b>calling after that, meeting</b>

<b>people like Vivian. She started</b>

<b>it, and I met thousands of survivors and</b>

<b>officers after that that</b>

<b>reinforced her message that this</b>

<b>memorial was in fact very important. But</b>

<b>Vivian, I'd like you to go</b>

<b>back and talk to us about the</b>

<b>difference between the way survivors were</b>

<b>treated in 1984, 1985, how they're</b>

<b>treated today, and how</b>

<b>these fallen heroes are honored today</b>

<b>versus what was happening</b>

<b>back in 1984, when there was no</b>

<b>memorial. Good question. Yes. Well,</b>

<b>Chris's death with Capitol</b>

<b>Police started a nightmare that</b>

<b>the department or my family didn't get</b>

<b>out of quickly. The first</b>

<b>inkling I had that anything</b>

<b>was wrong was a phone call. I was told</b>

<b>Chris was shot and to sit</b>

<b>tight, somebody would pick me up</b>

<b>and take me down to where he was. Well,</b>

<b>I'm putting on my makeup,</b>

<b>you know, thinking we're</b>

<b>going to laugh about him being shot in</b>

<b>the foot or something. That</b>

<b>was about as far as it went.</b>

<b>And they did send the officer, and he</b>

<b>took me to the wrong</b>

<b>hospital. And by the time I got to the</b>

<b>right hospital, Chris was dead. And it</b>

<b>just got worse from there.</b>

<b>So many ways in the DC area,</b>

<b>you fall through the cracks. We lived in</b>

<b>Maryland, but there were no</b>

<b>Maryland death benefits. He</b>

<b>worked in DC, but not for DC. And there</b>

<b>were no benefits. And</b>

<b>with Capitol Police, their</b>

<b>legislative and the other federal</b>

<b>officers are judicial. And although they</b>

<b>all give monetary for</b>

<b>comp time and annual leave, legislative</b>

<b>did not. So he had over</b>

<b>1,000 hours of comp time</b>

<b>that they wouldn't pay me for. And it was</b>

<b>just crazy. Chris and</b>

<b>I were not prepared.</b>

<b>I mean, everything was in his name. And I</b>

<b>ended up having to pay</b>

<b>inheritance tax on what was mine because</b>

<b>my name wasn't on any of the documents.</b>

<b>It was just blow after blow after blow.</b>

<b>And it really takes you to</b>

<b>your knees. And then when</b>

<b>a department isn't prepared, it's</b>

<b>additional trauma. They're</b>

<b>not. When it comes for a line of</b>

<b>duty death and they haven't prepared,</b>

<b>they react instead of act.</b>

<b>And that's when a lot of those</b>

<b>other traumas will occur. And I was. I</b>

<b>was so angry and so bitter for such a</b>

<b>long time. And it was</b>

<b>finally my preacher during a summer</b>

<b>during a sermon said, being</b>

<b>bitter is like taking poison</b>

<b>and waiting for somebody else to die. And</b>

<b>I thought that's exactly</b>

<b>what I'm doing. I'm waiting for</b>

<b>somebody else to die. And that's when I</b>

<b>thought I've got to get</b>

<b>better. I've got to get my girls</b>

<b>through this. We all have to get through</b>

<b>it together. I mean,</b>

<b>how old were Shannon and</b>

<b>Heather, your two daughters at the time</b>

<b>of Chris's death? They were nine and 11.</b>

<b>Nine and 11. Here's another memory I</b>

<b>have. And you can talk</b>

<b>about it. You and your two,</b>

<b>nine and 11 year old daughters going door</b>

<b>to door on Capitol Hill,</b>

<b>telling members of Congress that</b>

<b>you were not able to get any federal</b>

<b>death benefit. There was</b>

<b>a federal death benefit in</b>

<b>place at the time it was authorized in</b>

<b>1976, $50,000 at the time for any</b>

<b>surviving family member of</b>

<b>an officer who died in the line of duty.</b>

<b>But it only applied to state</b>

<b>and local officers. And you</b>

<b>had to go and tell members of Congress</b>

<b>who Chris worked for to</b>

<b>protect that you were not getting</b>

<b>those benefits. You and your daughters</b>

<b>were not part of that</b>

<b>legislation. So tell me, and then</b>

<b>that even became more of a nightmare.</b>

<b>Explain that and then that journey.</b>

<b>Yes, it was when I was</b>

<b>told there was the PSOB.</b>

<b>The PSOB. It had been</b>

<b>written and unintentionally</b>

<b>disclued did not include federal</b>

<b>officers. And so they said, hang on,</b>

<b>we're going to make it better.</b>

<b>We're going through to rewrite it now.</b>

<b>And so they did that and</b>

<b>they made it retroactive to</b>

<b>September 1st, 1984. And Chris was killed</b>

<b>in October 24th, 1984.</b>

<b>August 24th, yes.</b>

<b>Yeah, so it was it</b>

<b>was not available to me.</b>

<b>Unbelievable.</b>

<b>Of course, the police officers on Capitol</b>

<b>Hill, they were really</b>

<b>talking it up with senators and</b>

<b>congressmen. I went around with the girls</b>

<b>and I handed a letter</b>

<b>to everybody on the Hill.</b>

<b>And it took over two years to get that</b>

<b>personal relief bill so</b>

<b>that I could have access to</b>

<b>that benefit, which I felt was mine to</b>

<b>have. I didn't want anything</b>

<b>wasn't do me, but I felt it was mine to</b>

<b>get and help with the girls.</b>

<b>We talked about the pastor helping you</b>

<b>get through your grief and bitterness.</b>

<b>There was another group that played a</b>

<b>role in that I know. And and</b>

<b>that's the concerns of police</b>

<b>survivors, cops. I mentioned Susie</b>

<b>Sawyer, who started that</b>

<b>group in 1984. And you were one of</b>

<b>the first members. You probably attended</b>

<b>the first survivor</b>

<b>meeting of cops in 1985.</b>

<b>Talk about cops. You went on to serve as</b>

<b>their national president for two years,</b>

<b>not just one is typical three years. My</b>

<b>goodness. All right. So you</b>

<b>were there for three years as</b>

<b>their president early on. Talk about how</b>

<b>cops helped you and what</b>

<b>cops does for other survivors.</b>

<b>Well, one of the first things it does is</b>

<b>you go there and</b>

<b>somebody will come up to you and</b>

<b>ask you about the incident that took your</b>

<b>loved one's life. And</b>

<b>they will say, I know.</b>

<b>And you know that they know because</b>

<b>they're police survivors. And to hear</b>

<b>somebody say that and</b>

<b>realize they really do know what I'm</b>

<b>going through was</b>

<b>tremendous. Just to be able to talk</b>

<b>to other survivors. Some had had it worse</b>

<b>than I did. Some had</b>

<b>had it much better. But it</b>

<b>bring it. It brought levelness to the</b>

<b>whole survivor issue because</b>

<b>we were all there together.</b>

<b>And it was just great. It it really</b>

<b>helped in me getting rid of that</b>

<b>bitterness and that anger.</b>

<b>And I I just felt that, well, I'm not</b>

<b>doing any good to myself or my girls</b>

<b>while I'm like this.</b>

<b>But if I walk away from that bitterness,</b>

<b>it helps me help others who are going</b>

<b>through the same thing.</b>

<b>And Vivian, let me jump in and ask you.</b>

<b>So how did you help some</b>

<b>people? I'd like to hear you.</b>

<b>You talked about some had it worse. Some</b>

<b>had it better. There's</b>

<b>probably some really significant</b>

<b>moving stories that maybe are worth</b>

<b>sharing. Yes. One I think</b>

<b>of. Excuse me, is Judy Welsh.</b>

<b>Her husband was a D.C. police officer</b>

<b>that he went into the it's off what</b>

<b>street I can't think</b>

<b>14th Street. Anyway, a woman who had</b>

<b>escaped St. Elizabeth's had</b>

<b>run to the bridge and jumped</b>

<b>off the bridge and he went in after her.</b>

<b>But he never surfaced. And</b>

<b>Judy was eight and a half</b>

<b>months pregnant when he died. And she had</b>

<b>really so much support</b>

<b>from the agency that it really</b>

<b>helped her. I went with her when she went</b>

<b>to see her husband and</b>

<b>down the road, her brother</b>

<b>died overseas. They're really not sure</b>

<b>what caused it. I think it</b>

<b>was he was involved in a band</b>

<b>that was really kind of living on the</b>

<b>wild side. But I went with her</b>

<b>to see her brother. And you do</b>

<b>that. You call them on days that you</b>

<b>think maybe they want to hear somebody</b>

<b>else's voice that knows,</b>

<b>and it is just so meaningful. Let me tell</b>

<b>you a story. When my</b>

<b>daughter Heather got up the day</b>

<b>that Chris was killed there on the</b>

<b>kitchen table were two erasers</b>

<b>that Chris had gotten her for</b>

<b>her brand new chalkboard. So she sat down</b>

<b>and wrote this thank you</b>

<b>letter thanking him for getting</b>

<b>them for her. And of course, he never got</b>

<b>the letter. He was he was</b>

<b>killed that day. And if you</b>

<b>fast forward maybe four or five years</b>

<b>later, and we're in the car,</b>

<b>and Heather says, Mom, you got</b>

<b>to listen to this song. And she turned it</b>

<b>up. And I'm aging myself. It</b>

<b>was Mike and the mechanics,</b>

<b>the living years. And the voice came on</b>

<b>the verse came on that said,</b>

<b>I wasn't home that morning,</b>

<b>my father passed away. I didn't get to</b>

<b>tell him all the things I had</b>

<b>to say. And so I grabbed her</b>

<b>hand and I said, Well, Heather, what</b>

<b>would you have said to your</b>

<b>dad? And she said, I would have</b>

<b>asked him to watch over me, I would have</b>

<b>asked him to love me every</b>

<b>day, but I would have thanked</b>

<b>him for my erasers. And with that, she</b>

<b>started to cry. And so I held</b>

<b>her hand. And we got to where</b>

<b>we were going. But when I got back to the</b>

<b>house, I called another</b>

<b>survivor who knew what those</b>

<b>moments were like, who would talk me</b>

<b>through it, not pity me, pity</b>

<b>is a wasted emotion, just help</b>

<b>me be and do what I need to for myself</b>

<b>and my girls and others</b>

<b>that are going through this.</b>

<b>And so it's it's just this camaraderie</b>

<b>that is based on an event that ties you</b>

<b>together completely.</b>

<b>And sometimes I would call people and ask</b>

<b>for help. Sometimes they would call me.</b>

<b>But it was a network of resources to find</b>

<b>those people who really</b>

<b>get you and can help you</b>

<b>become what you need</b>

<b>to be for your family.</b>

<b>Yeah, you know, Dennis and Bill, I want</b>

<b>to summarize a little bit</b>

<b>of why Vivian's place in</b>

<b>1985 was a little different than what a</b>

<b>survivor's position might</b>

<b>be today. You know, no death</b>

<b>benefit, all right, for at least federal</b>

<b>officers when Chris died.</b>

<b>There was just a new group called</b>

<b>Concerns of Police Survivors, but nobody</b>

<b>yet was calling each other.</b>

<b>There was no network of support</b>

<b>that exists today. As Vivian describes,</b>

<b>there was no National Law</b>

<b>Enforcement Officers Memorial</b>

<b>because it wasn't dedicated until 1991.</b>

<b>Chris died in 1984. And,</b>

<b>you know, so much has changed.</b>

<b>There was no National Law Enforcement</b>

<b>Museum. And the way we</b>

<b>honor officers today is just so</b>

<b>incredibly different and better than it</b>

<b>was when Vivian was going</b>

<b>through this grief. And I just</b>

<b>want people to understand that. That's</b>

<b>why, you know, survivors back in the day</b>

<b>maybe felt neglected,</b>

<b>felt like nobody cared, nobody</b>

<b>remembered. And that's what</b>

<b>Vivian taught me. And that's why</b>

<b>I think that memorial has become so</b>

<b>special, that museum, the COPS group, the</b>

<b>death benefit, which</b>

<b>today I think is well over $300,000</b>

<b>because they put in a</b>

<b>cost of living adjustment. So</b>

<b>it is meaningful. And then there was</b>

<b>another group that came</b>

<b>along and helped you, Vivian.</b>

<b>It was a group called Heroes. A lot of</b>

<b>groups similar to Heroes</b>

<b>are called 100 clubs or 200</b>

<b>clubs around the country. Talk to me</b>

<b>about what Heroes is and what</b>

<b>it did for you and the girls.</b>

<b>Well, they stay low key. At some point</b>

<b>after your husband's death,</b>

<b>you will go in to see them.</b>

<b>And then they will let you know what they</b>

<b>will be able to do for you.</b>

<b>Not in the emotional realm,</b>

<b>but in the realm of benefits, of house</b>

<b>payments, and just a whole</b>

<b>bunch of stuff they're able to do.</b>

<b>And of course, it depends on</b>

<b>the needs of the survivors.</b>

<b>Just so people understand, this is a</b>

<b>group of business leaders in</b>

<b>the local community who have</b>

<b>put forth money to assist surviving</b>

<b>family members of public</b>

<b>safety officers killed in the</b>

<b>line of duty. So these are private</b>

<b>individuals. They don't want a lot of</b>

<b>glory or recognition,</b>

<b>as Vivian mentioned, but they do assist</b>

<b>you in a meaningful way.</b>

<b>Absolutely. I believe they started after</b>

<b>President Kennedy was</b>

<b>shot. And at the same time,</b>

<b>there was an officer shot. And back then,</b>

<b>the only way you could</b>

<b>get some support financially</b>

<b>was having it in the newspaper or on the</b>

<b>radio. And this officer got</b>

<b>nothing because the airways</b>

<b>were just full of Kennedy and all that</b>

<b>was going on with that death.</b>

<b>And they are just wonderful.</b>

<b>I cannot tell you how good they are. I</b>

<b>mean, they just listen</b>

<b>to you. They very quietly</b>

<b>tell you what they're</b>

<b>going to do. And they do it.</b>

<b>I want to just go back because it's kind</b>

<b>of left me still</b>

<b>wondering and wanting to ask a</b>

<b>question. Clearly, a lot of the benefits</b>

<b>have changed over the</b>

<b>years. I mean, here in Florida,</b>

<b>an officer is killed in the line of duty.</b>

<b>There are so many different</b>

<b>organizations that step up</b>

<b>financially. They fund your children's</b>

<b>college education and</b>

<b>whatnot. So you took your two</b>

<b>daughters around Congress and you met</b>

<b>with all these folks. And I</b>

<b>don't know, did you ever get</b>

<b>that resolved? Did you ever get that</b>

<b>money and did it ever lead to benefits</b>

<b>for everybody in the</b>

<b>future there? No, no, certainly they are</b>

<b>handling survivors much,</b>

<b>much different. I mean, much,</b>

<b>much better. It is day and night</b>

<b>different. They've got liaison officers</b>

<b>now full time who do this</b>

<b>stuff for survivors. Anything that comes</b>

<b>up, they'll ask you if</b>

<b>you want to go to it.</b>

<b>Capitol Police has become my family. They</b>

<b>are wonderful. They</b>

<b>were just not aware, not</b>

<b>prepared for line of duty death. And when</b>

<b>it happened, it just</b>

<b>things went haywire. But oh,</b>

<b>yeah, the survivors. And of course,</b>

<b>there's been other survivors at Capitol</b>

<b>Police since Chris died.</b>

<b>And although no survivor is ever going to</b>

<b>say, I'm happy completely</b>

<b>with what how they handled</b>

<b>me because you're wrapped around this</b>

<b>intense grief that comes at first. It</b>

<b>just plows into you.</b>

<b>And that part is difficult. But boy, do</b>

<b>they treat those survivors</b>

<b>better. And I am so glad they've</b>

<b>got a wonderful group of officers who</b>

<b>really take care of us. And it's amazing.</b>

<b>You've heard how she survived. In part</b>

<b>two, you'll hear how she</b>

<b>shaped the memorial that</b>

<b>stands today and the</b>

<b>words inscribed on its wall.</b>

<b>anyway.</b>