Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be

spending some time with you today.

It is Sunday. And it is raining all day long. And I feel so

happy about that. Because for the last couple of weeks, we

were really suffering from the drought here. And yeah,

struggling with not enough water for the plants and animals. And

now it's just raining and everything is good again.

Today, I want to talk about a phone call that I

had today

with one of my warriors, he will be on the show he is soon. And

I'm just very excited to be able to share his story. It was the

first phone call that we had. And

yeah, he was part of a school shooting in the 90s. And

explained how after years and years, maybe 10 years after the

incidents,

he started slowly but surely changing. He felt triggered more

and more.

And it was like a big black wave that was trying to catch up with

him.

And he says Aurora,

I didn't have hands anymore. I had fists.

And the way he said that

touched me so deeply.

I can deeply relate to these very dark feelings of anger,

anxiety.

So I want to talk about these feelings today and how we can

deal with them at times or if you have a loved one in your

family. And you feel they're dealing with exactly that and

you don't know how to behave.

Please know that I'm not a psychotherapist, psychologist, a

counselor, just a girl who went through some stuff. And

when COVID started.

I just couldn't see myself not doing anything, contributing

anything, sharing the tools that have helped me in the past and

just help other people sharing their stories. So just know that

as a disclaimer.

Sometimes we go through stuff and just think, no, that's

pretty bad. That's pretty intense shit, but I'll get over

it.

And then you move on with life and slowly but surely you start

engaging in

behaviors that help you cope with that stress that you

initially went through.

And those behaviors can look like like extreme workouts,

extreme eating.

Like too much eating or very controlled eating that leads to

eating disorders or obesity or anorexia.

Drugs like alcohol, weed, cocaine,

crack, all that jazz.

And on an emotional level, not everybody but most of us

are starting to feel less and less empathy.

We're starting to feel less in general. We're not feeling sad

anymore. We're not feeling anger anymore.

We're just a shell of a person all of a sudden.

And the tricky part is the main part is that it happens

gradually.

It doesn't happen like for some people from one event to the

other leg one day to the other. It happens gradually that you

don't feel like really socializing anymore, or that you

use socializing, to overcompensate and everybody

His story is different, everybody's compensation

mechanisms are different.

And today I want to talk about that extreme anger and sadness

that we can feel at times, desperation, powerlessness,

and wanting to distract us from that was very strong substances

are very, very strong.

Like ways, it can even be people, you know, people who

jump from one relationship to the other people who can only

relate through sex to other people.

It can really take all shapes and forms.

And we numb, we numb ourselves, because we don't want to feel

these feelings, we want to run away from them.

And we have a hard time to relate to other people because

we ourselves are disconnected from our emotions.

And it is so very tough when people reach out to you and want

to help you because there's something inside of you, that

cries for that

positive attention and the help.

But the big shell, like a huge, thick glass

that is molded around you, prevents you from accepting the

help that has been provided.

And sometimes it even makes you push away people that you want

to have closest, that really could help you.

It is such a tough situation to be in. I know it all too well.

And with this episode, I just want to share with you that

you're not alone in this. And if you recognize yourself now then

don't feel bad, don't feel regret, you're just doing your

best to cope.

And if you're dealing with a person who keeps rejecting you,

you know, not a person that you're done with them, they're

done with you, and you shouldn't move on. But a person that

really looks like they need your help.

And they keep being nasty with you, they keep pushing you away.

And you can sense that something inside of them cries out for you

and wants help.

But the face the body language, everything about them tells you

to fuck off.

A very important thing that I've learned there as an outsider

outs like person from an outside perspective, and how to behave

as to giving that person space.

And at the same time letting them know that you're still

there, whenever they need you.

So it's not a goodbye, I'm gonna avoid you and get better. And

then we can talk again, it's, Hey, I'm still here. But I'm

gonna let you come towards me. If you start feeling you need

support, if you start feeling like opening up, then I'm here.

And it is very, very important for these people to not get into

an abusive circle, where they allow that person who's sitting

in pain to treat them in a shitty way for all too long,

because what you're basically doing is enabling them to stay

in that very destructive,

shitty place.

If you can relate to this, because you've been through it,

or maybe you're going through it,

then please know that

there's people out there that can make you feel incredibly

safe.

There's people out there who can show you baby steps on how to

get better. And there's always hope. There's always

opportunities.

Sometimes life looks so dark and hopeless.

And it's part of the human experience. I think.

Most people I know had to go through that phase in order to

truly find out who they are.

Some people say look at a potato.

You plant them in the soil and they have to kind of dig

themselves out with me

roots and leaves and everything and

they have to fight through the

process of germination.

And they struggle in the dirt. But one day soon they will see

the light and then they can blossom.

And another image I love to use is that there is trees out there

and some pine cones that have to go through fire in order to

germinate in order to truly know who is on their side who is

there for them. And what do they really want in life.

Sometimes when we are in a dark, hopeless space,

we think there is no way out.

But it is actually necessary to go through that phase in order

to afterwards deeply appreciate every step you're going to make.

He might become more mindful of your steps, you might become

more intuitive and sensitive with other people and find out

who's good for you and who's not so good for you.

Maybe you were running around before that crisis, and just

soaking up everything that was out there, regardless if it's

good for you or not. And it just accumulated inside of your

chest.

And then

the darkness came because too much darkness was swallowed and

consumed.

And you have to shed it again. You have to let go of everything

that doesn't serve you anymore. Declutter throw stuff out, that

doesn't give you joy.

Throw stuff out that gives you weird feelings of nostalgia and

not good feelings and that are just catching Dustin

taking up space that you should be using for different things.

Know that the dark phase will be over and know that there's light

coming,

lightness and joy, deep appreciation,

blessings.

Those phases really show us who's sticking to us, and who's

maybe busy with other things. And it is not to judge people.

But to see a little bit their true character and what they're

made of. And especially to see your character and what you're

made of. It is okay to feel weak and powerless. It is okay to

feel lost and confused. But it is not okay.

To not search for tools that could help you to get out of

that

dark hole a little faster.

You can open up to people you can come onto my show here

anonymously, and share your stuff and know that it will

serve so many people who are feeling the same or even worse,

feel more lonely than you.

You can read books on how to

improve and be okay with those dark feelings.

You can go see a counselor.

You can declutter, you can start exercising, you can start eating

foods that deeply nourish you and drink fresh water.

Reduce your sugar and flour and take

which reduces inflammation in your body which in turn affects

your mind and your thinking.

There's so many things that I've learned that you can do in order

to feel better. And if you're stuck, if you don't know where

to go, please reach out because I know tons of people on next to

me in front of me behind me

that can help you.

Thank you so much for listening to this more dark of an episode.

Darkness is part of our life.

There is no darkness there is no real light. And some people

claim to say that there is no darkness. There's just light,

different shades of light. And I really like that concept too.

There's very bright

red light and this very dark light.

If you liked this episode, please make sure to connect on

Facebook with me and share your thoughts. I always post videos

very engaging and most of the 10 fun videos on Facebook. So I'd

love you to check them out because they might make you feel

really good.

And if you want to leave me a review on Apple podcast, it

would mean the world to me. This is how more people can find my

podcast and how you can leave me a wonderful feedback.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for being

here. I will be back out there very soon. Bye bye Elora