00:00:09 Nazish: Welcome to Inner Peace Betterhealth, where we explore gentle connection between what we carry inside and how we live in our bodies, our choices in our days. I am Nazish and today I'm joined by Ren R Timmerman, a veteran Attorney, an author who has lived many chapters and speaks with humility about power of Shadih steps. Our topic is one step at a time where we can do many things. There is a quiet kind of strength. We don't celebrate enough. The kind that doesn't announce itself. It is the strength of taking one step when you are tired. When you are unsure. And when life feels heavier than it sounds. And someone to. And somehow those steps become a life. You can stand inside again. Today we are staying with that idea one step at a time. We can do many things. You leave this episode with a calmer way to approach change, especially when mountain feels too big to climb. Welcome to the show. Grand.

00:01:14 Rand R. Timmerman: Thank you very much. Great introduction.

00:01:18 Nazish: Wonderful. So when you hear the phrase one step at a time, what does it feel like in your body? Like, what does it mean in your real life? Not as a slogan.

00:01:30 Rand R. Timmerman: Um, yeah, this is a mantra of a recovery group I'm in. Um, so I've kind of stolen that motto, if you will, but it really kind of mirrors my whole life. I mean, I five years old in nineteen fifty, I became aware and I looked around and I thought, we are screwed. I did not have any inner peace as a child. My father was crippled with polio from the waist down, and we were in a very rural, poor area and I just our life was very difficult. And, you know, I went to bed hungry frequently and it was very I don't know, my mother was religious and my brother ended up being a pretty religious man. But for me, it was I just learned from my father primarily that you just had to cope with whatever life gave you and deal with it. And the only way you can do that is like one thing at a time, one step at a time. And I, you know, I, that became my mantra of and I didn't like it a lot of the time. I did not have inner peace. Uh, I had resentment and frustration. Uh, most of my time growing up. Um, there was some good things about my childhood, for sure. My dad was a strong man. He worked very hard. I learned that I spent a lot of time with him because I had to do things for him so that he could do what he had to do. So yeah, I like your title Inner Peace. I did not have that for a long time. And then to get out of Dodge, I enlisted in the Marine Corps and went off to war. And there was no inner peace there. Being in a war zone like Vietnam, where we engaged in combat, on average one hundred and fifty seven days a year, was. You are always on alert. You are always amped up to some extent. And so there was no inner peace in that journey, that part of my journey, that's for sure.

00:03:38 Nazish: Thank you so much for sharing that with us. It comes from a lot of experience and a lot of, um, journey that you have lived, you know, and it is so grounding already because it brings back to lived experience, not motivational posters.

00:03:54 Rand R. Timmerman: Right?

00:03:55 Nazish: So yeah, you know, a lot of people here one step at a time and assume it means moving slowly or settling from what you have seen. What do people misunderstand the most about it?

00:04:10 Rand R. Timmerman: Um, that we can be transformed. We don't have to live, uh, the way I lived most of my life. I did not have any spiritual power. I thought I was God, I didn't, I didn't think of it that way. But if you're trying to cope and deal every day and you don't have much inner peace other than for me, I found inner peace as an adult. I became an attorney kind of by a fluke. Uh, I like to brag that the Marine Corps almost got me killed about twenty times, but then it gave me a career. And actually, I became an officer and a JAG officer in the Marine Corps, which is a legal officer. Uh, so I'm thrown in with a whole bunch of real lawyers. I don't even have a college education, but it gave me a career, which also, uh, was a wonderful career because you're helping people getting paid for it. I thought that was pretty cool. Um, but it also was very stressful. And I was self-employed for forty years, worked as a country lawyer, basically in upstate New York, a litigator. I was in court pretty much every day. That's very stressful. So how do we find inner peace when we're in that kind of environment? For me, it was two things. One was I was always a runner. I ran twenty six marathons for whatever reason. I could find release by physical exertion, uh, of the heart type. And, uh, I ran every day for fifty five years because then you get that endorphin rush, right? So I, that kind of gave me an inner peace for sure. It was like part of my routine. And then the other part was alcohol. I did not believe in a god except for Spiritus, which is Latin for alcohol and unfortunately or fortunately for many years it was not a problem. I celebrated, I, uh. I had nightmares from the war. I would use alcohol to medicate, meditate, medicate myself, and sort of meditate, I suppose. If you're obliviated on occasion. Um, but there was no real inner peace there. And the funny part was that my brother Ron, who I walked the Appalachian Trail with when we were in our seventies, was always a spiritual man. And it was funny because we would get together like one time a year and he lived on the West Coast. I lived on the East Coast, and me and my younger brother, we would drink a lot and, you know, turn it into a party and we'd make fun of Ronnie because he, he didn't have that fake, you know, exuberance. And he was just kind of a quiet, very peaceful, serene man. I used to envy his serenity. I just like he doesn't understand. He's he's not having any fun. But then he would be so calm and serene. He definitely had an inner peace. He had better health than me in many ways. Certainly spiritual health for for sure and physical to some extent. But yeah, that was part of my journey of, of, of seeking. I wanted inner peace, I wanted serenity, I didn't know how to do it. So I used fake, uh, tools running primarily and drinking. Not, not the best.

00:07:25 Nazish: Absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. one step at a time isn't weakness, it is wisdom. And you know, it is so beautiful. If someone is wired for urgency like they need quick results, What's one use that the speed is actually anxiety in disguise.

00:07:46 Rand R. Timmerman: Um, for me it would be to to there's two parts to it. One for me was that I was powerless over my sobriety. I was powerless over my alcoholism. I could not get sober on my own. And that forced me to a turning point in my life at sixty eight years old, where spirit has owned me and I couldn't, I could not, I could no longer function. There was no inner peace. There was a desire for obliteration and and for it to end. And ironically, uh, I thought my life was over. And at that moment, I was at the turning point and everything changed. And a man took me into his arms, so to speak. Uh, I ended up on his front steps, drunk out of my mind and just wanted it to end. And he took me to the hospital. Spent the whole day with me and turned out he had walked into a recovery program thirty years before and never drank again. And he had not been a spiritual person either. Just like me. I was like the Antichrist. And, uh, he, um, said he would help me, and I just, I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, and I did what he told me to do. Uh, somewhat reluctantly at first. And so what does he do? He gets me out of detox, takes me to my first meeting with him, and afterwards we're standing in the parking lot and everybody's left. And I was being transformed, and I didn't even know it. And he looked at me and said, Ryan, you need to pray to that God you don't believe in. And I started to balk because I didn't, you know, I wasn't going to do the God thing. And then I and he said, oh, you'll get drunk again. And I started crying. Sixty eight years old, beat to death. And it was at the turning point. And I said, I don't know how to pray. And he taught me how to pray on my knees in a parking lot in the dark. And that was almost twelve years ago. And I've been doing that ever since. Every morning praying to the God I didn't believe in as he taught me. And basically, it's a simple prayer. We call it third step prayer. If I may, I offer myself to God to do with me, as thou wilt relieve me from the bondage of self, that I may better do your will, which, if you're an alcoholic, is don't drink alcohol. And there's a whole bunch of other things you're expected to do. And then finally take away God. Please take away my difficulties. That victory over them may bear witness to those. I may seek the help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. I've been saying that prayer one day at a time, every day. First thing, and I ask for other things, and I pray for other people, and I go to meetings, and then I help other men try to become the men that God wanted them to be. Wants them to be. And that's a sober man. And that was very transformative. And what happened was I did find an inner peace and better help. It worked. It changed my life. It's sixty eight years old. I thought my life was over. At sixty nine years old, my life had totally been transformed. I had joy and peace every day I had never felt before, and I was working every day with other men to go on the same path. And then something very unexpected happened. My brother's wife died, and I had a moment where I had to be transformed again in order to help him. And that's what I wrote the book about, a spiritual passage.

00:11:25 Nazish: Well, I, I'm, I'm a legit having goosebumps right now. That is such a beautiful way to put it. And, you know, It tells us so much that you know its wisdom, how you stay steady enough to keep going. Yes, God always has a way to, you know, bring us to the best places in our life.

00:11:47 Rand R. Timmerman: Right? And God can be whatever you want it to be in the sense. For me, it was it became a loving God. I had problems with the religious aspect at some point, but that all vanished and in the end. But for me, it was very simple. I had to believe in a power greater than myself. Obviously, it couldn't be me. It had to be outside of me. So it's got to be, and it had to be bigger. It had to be a higher power. And then for a while that God was just big enough to keep me sober. But then by the time we got to the point where my brother's wife had died, I had grown immensely. My God had gotten bigger. But when we went and hiked the two thousand two hundred mile Appalachian Trail twenty eighteen, after Ronnie's wife Edie, died, I was seventy two. He was seventy one. I mean, that's unbelievable that two men that age would take on the longest footpath trail in the whole world. The Appalachian Trail, two thousand two hundred miles, goes through fourteen states, goes over six hundred miles. It goes your elevation changes in feet is a half a million feet. And, you know, it was just it was unbelievably difficult. I had an artificial knee. My right leg was my knee was destroyed in that leg and I never had it replaced. Uh, so I limped because my right leg was a half inch shorter than my left by the time we went on that adventure. And, uh, it was difficult, but I found a new inner peace, a higher level, and a new spiritual growth beyond anything I could have ever imagined. And I could tell you all kinds of stories about things that happened. Some were spiritual, some were just funny. A lot of funny things happened that made it joyous and free, you know?

00:13:38 Nazish: So, this distinction really makes a lot of difference for our listeners today. You have lived through intense environment, military service, a long legal career and later life challenges that ask for endurance. Where do you think the need to do everything all at once really comes in for people?

00:14:03 Rand R. Timmerman: Um, I feel like God saved me from the war when so many others did not make it fifty nine thousand didn't make it. Uh, for a reason. And I could not see that reason for decades and decades and decades. But then when my fate, God's Spirit took over. You know, I had to find that other powers we talked about. And it just transformation was unbelievable. But I had to do certain things. You know, it's the program was for Alcoholics and Anonymous program, and I've been in it now for twelve years. And I have seen so many lives be transformed and men who were totally destroyed and women too, of course. But in this program, men work with men primarily and women with women. And their whole lives change because they make a relationship with something greater than themselves, and then they start helping each other, right? And that's where that inner peace and that strength comes from. I didn't, you know, I didn't think we could hike the Appalachian Trail. I wrote a book about it with five hundred color pictures describing how we did it on a daily basis with lots of funny stories and some, you know, there were lots of critters and snakes and bears and lions and no lions. But I did see some wild coyotes one day. Uh, you know, just amazingly difficult, but beautiful things. And you could see God's imprint everywhere. And for me, that inner peace comes from that relationship that I established with a higher power that kept me around. I mean, why am I still around eighty years old doing all this stuff? Had to be a reason, right?

00:15:51 Nazish: Absolutely. It is something very difficult. And, you know, because a reactive step can still look productive, but it doesn't always mean that it will bring peace.

00:16:04 Rand R. Timmerman: No. You're right. And so the mantra of one step at a time, which you keep referring to, is the is the key to it, right? I mean, I can't climb, I can't height two thousand two hundred miles without taking that first step. And then I take the second. Then I take the third step. And then, you know, we were wearing a I wear a Fitbit today. To this day, I average around eighteen thousand steps a day. But on the trail we were doing forty five, fifty thousand steps. That's just like, what the heck? But one step at a time. It's pretty easy, right? So you just focus in on what you can do right now and then, and then let the power of God and, and, you know, using your brain that God gave you and, and, and some grit that we learned, um, you know, I did learn how to, to cope and deal. I well taught that my whole life, but I had to have help from a higher power. And I had to be willing to do the things that I needed to do. One step at a time. And I do that every day. Every day I start out with my prayers, I. I walk three miles, usually before daylight. I go to a meeting. I hang out afterwards and talk with men who are struggling a lot of times. And then, you know, I do podcasts, I, I write, I've written books, I've been published now several times, a few short stories. My life is just totally full of joy. And at sixty eight years old, when I was in the final cups of my alcoholic stupor, I, I, I had no idea, I had no idea. I thought my life was over. It was just beginning.

00:17:57 Nazish: Absolutely. I it is so true. You know, in your book, the spiritual passage you wrote about hiking the Appalachian Trail with your brother in your early seventies. So something that's physical, mental, emotional. What did that teach you about life?

00:18:20 Rand R. Timmerman: Uh, oh my gosh, so many different things. Number one, how beautiful the mountains are. I mean, I had been a hiker and camper and all that stuff all my life, pretty much. And but when you do it on a, on a daily basis for weeks and weeks and weeks, we averaged eleven miles a day in the mountains. That's a lot. Carrying a pack, it would take us from daylight till three or four o'clock in the afternoon, and it would be totally exhausting. But it was so beautiful. It was so. And the people we ran into and the things that happened, um, you know, quick story one day, uh, my knees are bad, so I limped a lot. And there was a gentleman there. He was an oriental gentleman. He was dressed like a samurai with the the robes. And then he has this pack and hiking sticks. And then he had, like a turban or some kind of headgear. And, you know, you get in this bubble where you see the same people. I'd see him every day for a while there, and one day he stopped me right in the middle of the trail and he says, Rand, hold my hands. I want to pray with you. I want to fix your knees so you won't be in so much pain. And we're standing in the middle of the trail. People are walking by us, right? I'm holding hands with him. And he's a very handsome man. Five foot four, really stocky guy. I mean, there's something really special about this. And he's he's praying or talking or whatever, and I'm just looking at the ground, holding on to his hands. And then I hear him say Macbeth. And I realize he's quoting Shakespeare. Well, where does this happen? And when we get finally I said, you know what, I think I feel a lot better. And I did, I did the pain in my knees was way Willis was amazing. I mean, stuff like that. How does that happen?

00:20:15 Nazish: sounds like magic, but it is. But, you know, it is something more. Above ours.

00:20:22 Rand R. Timmerman: Absolutely.

00:20:24 Nazish: Yeah. And I love that because body does not negotiate with ego. Body asks for honesty. And that's exactly where inner peace meets better health.

00:20:34 Rand R. Timmerman: Yes. Honesty. That is the keystone of the recovery program. I mean, we talk about rigorous honesty. We have to be honest with ourselves.

00:20:42 Nazish: if someone, uh, if someone listening right now feels overwhelmed, overwhelmed, life feels like a pile of unfinished emotions. What is a simple way to decide the next right step to without spiraling?

00:20:59 Rand R. Timmerman: The next right step for them is probably going to be to do something they've never Thought about before I, you know, go to a church. If you're struggling with addiction, go to a recovery program. Um, talk to somebody. Um, reach out. Take a step. Do something different, you know? I'm in that point in my life now. A lot of my relatives are gone and a lot of them towards the end of their life, they just kind of quit and they. And next thing you know, they're sitting on the couch and they're not doing the things they love. And I, I go to meetings like I talk about, there's one lady that comes in every day pretty much with a walker, oxygen. She dresses up, she's very old and frail, and she comes in with a big smile every day. And she inspires people one step at a time. See, that's what you have to, Um, you don't have to do anything, but I would encourage people one step at a time, try to do something that gives you joy, happiness, and pleasure. And a lot of times that's putting your hand out to help somebody else, right? If we're like, every day, I'll quit. I went blind, uh, about about two months ago. I mean, totally blind in one day. And for five weeks, I could not see hardly anything. And I went to meetings and I worked with guys and I listened to podcasts and did what? I couldn't do anything. But I had faith. And so I every day I made myself take my usual steps and then a few extra ones, right. And I got through it and now I can see fine. I had to have a big operation with two surgeons. One, it was not a whole lot of fun, but it worked. I'm much better. I'm driving again just within the last week. So, you know, there's I'm not bragging. I'm just saying it's how you approach life. And if you can change your attitude and rely on a higher power in one step at a time, I'm. I can do this. I can do that. I can do this, you know, and, and pray, make a connection with that higher power that will give you inner peace and better health for sure.

00:23:28 Nazish: It will. It will give us a better inner peace and better health. So, uh, Ryan, for our listeners who want to connect with you, learn more about your work and, you know, especially more about a spiritual passage passage, where can they find you?

00:23:47 Rand R. Timmerman: Uh, they can go to my website, which is my name, Rand Timmerman dot com. Very simple. They can Google a spiritual passage and it will pop right up. Uh, or they can put my name on the on the web and they will just ran Timmerman and you'd be surprised. There's all kinds of stuff on their podcasts that I've done and my books and things like that. Um, and now you know, your audience through you and I thank you very much for this opportunity. I hope that we're reaching your audience and that we're helping them out a little bit.

00:24:24 Nazish: Wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. And you know, the one thing that I am going to take away with this amazing conversation with you is that your life doesn't change all at once. It changes when you choose the next steady step, and then you choose it again.

00:24:43 Speaker 3: You're right. Absolutely.

00:24:45 Nazish: Yes. So if today's conversation was such amazing conversation with you, thank you so much for joining us today on Inner Peace, Better Health.

00:24:54 Rand R. Timmerman: Thank you. I really appreciate the opportunity.

00:24:58 Nazish: Wonderful. And your listeners, if today's conversation met you in a tender place, let it be simple. Take the next step. You can actually take. Not the perfect one, not the impressive one, but the honest one. This is inner peace, better health. And I am nazish. And if you want more conversations like this, come back and stay with us. Because healing isn't a big moment. It is a series of small returns. Until next time, be gentle with yourself.