Welcome to the Elevated Edit, the weekly reset for ambitious women who are done with chaos and ready to actually follow through.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, strategist, systems girl, and execution coach for entrepreneurs who want structure that sells in a business that feels like peace.

Here, we don't chase, hustle.

We edit what matters.

Let's get into it.

Hello.

I hope you had an amazing holiday weekend.

As of the time of this recording, it is the Monday after the 4th of July weekend.

I know everyone has different experiences on the 4th of July.

Some people go to the lake, some people go see family, some people go to the beach.

We had a very chill fourth of July weekend.

We went to a small pool party on the 4th of July, and then Saturday and Sunday, we rested, we watched movies, and we cuddled, and we read books.

I finished two books over the weekend, albeit short books, but I finished them start to finish, and I journaled a lot.

And I just had a chance to really think about the first half of the 2025 and what that has looked like and what it has really meant for my life.

I've always been big on quarters.

I like to break my year into a quarter just so I can really, like, see the growth of that time.

And before, always looked at, like, stats, I was like, oh, you know, these are my sales stats, and this is my, you know, X, Y, and Z.

But this year, I've had the really cool opportunity to look at quarters based on lessons that I've learned.

And looking back, now that I'm standing in Q3, I just cannot believe the growth that I've had in Q1 and Q2 of this year.

Like, I am truly not the same person that I was in January.

And I think sometimes when we hear about growth, it is like an exciting conversation.

It's like, okay, well, you know, they learned this skill and they added this thing, and, you know, there's all this, like, new joy and excitement and abundance.

But today I do want to talk about the emotional cost of growth and the emotional cost of, like, your identity shifting as you build along the way.

Especially if you have a year like I've had where your growth happens very quickly.

It, for me, has felt like I was getting, like, ripped out of my old life.

And it's.

It's great and beautiful to turn around and look at it.

But there have been times this year where I am like, what in the heck am I doing?

Like, I am ruining my life.

It's truly felt like that at times.

And so I just want to be open and transparent about that today.

Because I do think sometimes people, you know, start to experience growth and this discomfort happens.

And if you don't have like a mentor or a coach to tell you this is totally normal, like, this is how it's supposed to be, it can really.

You can have that feeling in that moment of, oh, this is wrong, or like, I'm messing everything up.

That's definitely happened to me before.

There have been times where I was starting to experience growth and because I wasn't getting mentored by the right people or I wasn't putting myself in the rooms with people who, you know, just infused me with belief, I felt like, oh, well, I'm messing up.

I need to go back to my safe spot.

And this year I have paid to be around people who literally like, grab my hand and they're like, you are not going back to your comfort zone.

Like, we're going over here.

I know it's new and scary, but going to keep it moving along.

And it's made such a drastic difference in my life.

And one thing that I'm learning this year for sure is that growth is not this one time breakthrough.

It is a true process.

There is no, like, big moment.

There's no final destination.

The prize is really who you become.

It's not what you achieve.

And I think in years prior I was like, okay, once I hit this goal or once I achieve this thing, you know, I always had like my eye on a specific prize or.

And this year specifically, when I have such massive goals, I really am learning that who I become along the way.

The lessons that I learned, the people that I meet, the mindset shifts that I have, that is truly the prize.

And I think even in that, it's very easy to hear that and go, man, it's a beautiful journey up to the top.

Like, it's going to be smooth sailing.

Everything's going to feel great.

But growth, at least for me, has not been very comfortable at all.

There has been a lot of discomfort, a lot of reflection.

And with reflection has come realizations of things that, you know, I had honestly the wrong perspective on before.

I've had to implement boundaries, which I've talked about before.

And I'll say until I'm blue in the face, boundaries are not fun, they are not easy.

And especially if you have been someone who has had no boundaries and people have benefited off of your lack of boundaries, especially monetarily, it can be really challenging to implement boundaries and stick to them.

And then also growth can look like walking away, you know, I've had to walk away from situations and relationships and standards and expectations, and it think on the outside has looked like, wow, Blakely is, like, achieving this or, you know, doing whatever.

And there have been more days that I've cried this year than ever before in my life.

And I'm just so thankful that I had mentors that were holding my hand and saying, it's okay.

This is normal.

This is what's supposed to be happening.

You just gotta keep pushing through.

And that's just like.

What I want to infuse in you today is that belief that if you are in a season where everything feels like it's falling apart, just consider that maybe everything is coming together, and you're not going to be able to put the dots together until you look behind you.

Because there have been times this year, like I said, where I have just sat at my desk or laid in bed and been like, man, I ruined my life.

Like, what is happening right now?

And looking back, I'm like, okay, that is why that has had to happen.

But where I stand in July, when I look back on where I was in January, which was honestly kind of a sad place, I felt like I was stagnant.

I felt stuck.

I felt like my life was going to feel like that forever, and I kind of had no hope, and not a no hope.

And like a man, my life is miserable.

But just, is this it?

Like, is this all that my life is going to be?

And one thing I've really learned this year is that it's totally.

The ball is totally in my court, and the ball being in my court doesn't necessarily mean that I need to work harder and push harder and do more and be more aggressive and, like, all the things that I used to think would make me successful, now I am realizing that it is a matter of shifting my mindset and my beliefs and my standards and my level of execution.

And I am really looking at my every single day so differently now.

And unfortunately, this year, with, you know, all the change that's happened, yes, I have had to shed old habits and old mindsets, and those have been very difficult, especially some of the mindsets that I've had.

I've had since I was a child.

You know, mindset around money and around, you know, my worth and confidence and, you know, visibility.

All the things.

Habits, obviously, are very difficult as well, especially habits you don't even think about, but they impact your day so much.

But old relationships, that has been really, really hard for me, I think, especially because a lot of My relationships, they.

How do I say this without sounding like I was super dependent on them?

They really molded the way that I looked at myself a lot of my relationships.

I defined who I was because of my relationships, and I have had to walk away from a lot of those relationships, at least in the capacity that they were.

And because I walked away from the relationship, I walked away from that version of myself and who I thought I was.

And so for a while this year, I just kind of felt, like, naked, like, very exposed.

And I was like, who am I?

Like, what is really happening right now?

And, you know, when I look at my growth journey this year, it has looked a lot like heartbreak.

And I thought it was going to look like celebration.

Like, I thought every day was going to be just so exciting and so empowering and so wonderful, and I've grown a lot, and now I'm standing in celebration.

But there are so many times this year where I was just heartbroken.

I missed my old self.

I missed my old life.

You know, they say that you'll always, like, you will prefer a comfortable hell over an unknown, a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

And that has been so true, like, just for my mind.

This year, I'm like, you know what that comfortable hell?

Like, yeah, it's hell over there.

But I'm so comfortable.

I'm used to it.

All my people are there.

All my snacks are there.

Like, I want to go back to that and going towards that uncomfortable heaven that I don't know anything about.

I don't know who's going to be there.

Like, I don't know what the air is going to be set on.

I don't know anything.

Like, what's the dress code?

You know, I don't have anybody that I can text and say, hey, what are you wearing?

It has been wildly difficult for me.

It's broken my brain now in the best way.

But at the time, I mean, it was just such a massive mindset shift for me.

And I think in the moment, and I've talked to other people about this, and they're like, oh, yeah, that's exactly what happened.

But in the moment, you rarely know what's happening.

Like, you're just like, man, everything's falling apart.

Everything feels uncomfortable.

Everything just feels yuck.

And I don't feel good at all.

But hindsight can really reveal that shift.

And I really think that that's what happened for me this past weekend and is I honestly have just now had the chance this past weekend to slow down and really journal through my Thoughts and journal through my emotions.

And now I look back, I'm like, man, that was a massive shift for me.

And it just, you know, it felt really, really bad at the moment.

And I think once again, so often we start to feel that resistance, we feel that pain, we feel that discomfort, and we go, you know what this means?

That something is wrong.

But growth is like, growth really does equal discomfort.

And I think a lot of this, the discomfort comes from all the things that have to change.

Like, for me, this year has been a complete.

A change in so many things.

Mostly for me, my standards.

And I think, you know, when we think of standards, at least this was a mindset shift that I had to get over, was standards were for snobby people, Standards were for high maintenance people, Standards were for people who were difficult.

And this year I've really had to learn that it is okay to have high standards.

It's okay to have standard, have high standards for how other people treat you, but also how you treat yourself, how you show up in your actions, how you show up with your habits, how you show up in your every single day.

And I have really had to balance that change in standards of not only how other people treat me, but how I treat myself.

You know, one thing I realized over this past weekend is that what I tolerated a year ago is now completely unacceptable to me.

There are things that I was totally okay with last year that now I'm like, no, absolutely not.

And I do think the fact that it happens so quickly has triggered a lot of people in my life.

And one thing I've really had to talk to my therapist about and talk to my mentors about is that other people being triggered by my growth is not my job to manage.

Their reaction to my growth is not my responsibility.

And, you know, I've had several mentors remind me of this, that my growth will disrupt the version of people or the version of me that other people were comfortable with.

And I now that I have some hindsight and I can look back, I'm like, oh, that is what has happened is, you know, people got really comfortable with a certain version of me.

And, you know, I'm not saying that there was anything wrong with that version of me.

She was very successful.

She was very helpful.

She was very, you know, creative and organized and a team player.

And looking back now, there were so many wonderful traits that she had, but also she was.

I gave the best parts of myself to everybody else.

24 7, I did not think about my future.

And quite frankly, my bank account and My life as much as I should have.

And part of me still, like, this is part of the mindset shift that I'm working on is, like, that is so selfish.

Like, you're.

You're supposed to give the best parts of yourself to other people.

You're supposed to, you know, say yes to everything.

But what I'm learning in this season is that when I put myself first, when I put my growth first, when I put my, you know, standards first, I can give.

When I do give, I'm giving the very best.

When I.

When people come to me for advice now on marketing or systems or strategy, the advice that I'm able to give them now from this healed version of me, from this excellence version of me, is so much better than it was a year ago.

Because a year ago, I was just giving out of desperation.

I was like, you tell me what you want, and I will give it to you.

And now I can actually give from a place of leadership and a place of guidance in a place from a place of, like, experience.

And if I hadn't gone through this growth journey, I would have never been able to do that.

I also am willing and able to have hard conversations now with other people, and I was not able to do that before.

I would run from hard conversations.

I just didn't want to deal with it.

They would always make me so nervous.

But over the last year, I have intentionally surrounded myself with people who have challenged me, with people who have literally looked me in the eye and said, I love you.

And I'm saying this because you do have potential, but you.

You're not.

Like, I had one coach say, you are not credible at all online.

Like, if I found you on social media, I would not use you.

And it hurts so bad to hear that.

Like, I'm not gonna lie.

I was.

I was a little upset about it for a couple weeks, and then I took a breath and I started to really evaluate what she said, and I was like, dang, she's not wrong.

Like, I had so much room for growth and just experiencing that and experiencing how much love she really did have for me to be able to say the hard thing that she knew was going to make me mad and she knew was going to, you know, impact our relationship for a little while.

That encouraged me so much to now be that for other people.

And I have been practicing having difficult conversations, and it's not been easy, especially if you are having difficult conversations with people who aren't also on a growth journey.

You know, it was easy for her to say that to me, because she knew that I wanted to grow, she knew I wanted to improve, and she knew, you know what?

Yeah.

Blakely might not take this well right this moment, but I know that, you know, in a couple weeks, once she's had some time to reflect, she's going grow from that, and she's going to be so much better for it.

But you are going to experience people in your life that aren't on a growth journey that do think that they have reached the final destination and that they are complete and whole where they are.

And having difficult conversations with those people is going to be really hard and also sometimes a waste of time.

I've had to learn that the very difficult way this past couple of months, that I can have a conversation with someone with the very best of intentions, and I can't control how they react to it.

All I can do is be honest from my perspective and let them take it as they choose.

And it can be really hard, especially when you're speaking from the heart, because I do feel like I've gotten a lot more vulnerable over the last year.

I feel like before a couple years ago, I had a wall up.

I was very guarded.

I wanted everyone to think I was perfect all the time.

I don't have any emotions.

I just love working.

I never get tired.

Like, nothing bothers me.

And now I am like basket case 90% of the time.

Like, I cry.

I'm very open and honest, and I'm honest about my.

My growth journey, too.

You know, I'm like, I. Yeah, I've achieved a lot, and I plan to achieve a lot more, but I also get tired and I get upset and I get sad.

And so it's just been a very interesting journey.

And it's been very interesting, I think, for me in particular, because I do have.

I'm very fortunate to have a lot of relationships with a lot of different people.

And over the last year, some of those relationships have really crumbled, and some of them have gotten so much stronger.

Like, that is one of the beautiful things that's come out of this is I have had some people who were just kind of acquaintances before.

Like, we got along well, but we weren't, like, super close.

And now my relationship with those people has just blossomed, and I did not expect that at all.

And it's been.

It's been such a wonderful thing to experience.

And I think that's why now, especially, like, I always want to challenge the status quo, because I do think that it can get really dangerous to Keep doing the same thing that you've been doing over and over and over again and maybe just trying harder or doing more of it and expecting something different to happen.

You know, growth really does require you to step back and evaluate.

And there were a lot of things that I was doing wrong before.

Like, I'll be the first to admit that now.

There were a lot of mindsets that I had that were harmful.

There were a lot of habits that I had that were harmful.

There were a lot of perceptions, perspectives, Perspectives that I had before that were harmful and not, like, in a dangerous way.

Like, I wasn't putting anyone else in harm, but they were just keeping me stuck in place.

They were causing me to blame other people.

They were causing me to complain a lot.

And this year, I have really just taken everything into my own hands, and it's been amazing and also very painful.

And I think as I'm stepping into this new season, this new quarter, y', all, Q3, just know that I'm taking you along for the ride.

It is about to be so good.

I've got some things I can't announce quite yet, but I'm working on some dreams that I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought were gonna happen.

And it's scary.

I'm not gonna lie.

It's so scary.

Like, I thought I stepped out of my comfort zone earlier this year.

I wasn't even close.

I wasn't even close.

I am stepping into a season like, I'm calling this my visibility quarter.

Like, I am about to make myself very visible, and it is terrifying.

It is very, very, very uncomfortable.

But I know, because I have allowed myself to reflect and really, like, really truly learn the first half of this year.

I know that who I become in this quarter is going to be more powerful than anything that happens after.

And that makes me feel really good.

It makes me excited.

Excited for the pain, it makes me excited for the discomfort, and it makes me excited to learn.

So I want you to remember from this episode that you're not behind.

Discomfort is totally normal.

You're gonna have to let go of the old version of you to meet the new version.

And the road to the next version might feel like heartbreak, but it's totally worth it.

Okay.

I hope that this episode brought some value to you.

Even if there was no tangible value.

I hope it either shifted a little belief for you or you had the opportunity to go, man, that is exactly how I've been feeling.

And this episode just made me feel a little bit better.

That is always my hope.

For these.

Okay.

I hope that you have an amazing rest of your day.

If you think a friend could benefit from this episode, please send it to them.

And of course, leave a review.

They help so much.

And with that, hope you have a good day and I will see you in the next episode.

That's it for this edition of the Elevated Edit.

If this episode hit, don't keep it to yourself screenshot it, share it, tag me on Instagram.

And if you're ready to structure your business like the CEO that you are, you know where to find me.