Okay. It may be you guys. All right. It may be the second week of January for you, but we actually, after we stopped recording last week's episode, um, 'cause Meg's has a real job and she had other things backed up. So we were trying to like, be respectful of her time. We were like, oh, we can't shut up yet. And as Audrey so aptly said, like, some people just aren't yappers. Um, 'cause I was like, I, like, we just wanted to keep talking and I, and I, again,

never can stop talking.

I'm a

know, but this is what it's here for. And I hope that like you guys, as you're listening to this, um. I just wanted to be fully transparent. Like, it's not like this was thought up. We're just like, let's do it again. And I'm like, yeah,

we're gonna.

again. We're gonna riff. So, um, I wanna also say, this is what I wanna bring. Like this is, this is the vibe and the energy that I wanna bring in 2026 is like, let's just talk more again, I, I, I know I am a.

real conversations too.

and I, I'm, I keep beating the dead horse, but like conversation, conversation, conversation. And I specifically use that word because that's what I want it to be. I want it to be a conversation. So I will also say. Tag us, uh, cowgirls over coffee, screenshot this episode, let us know. But like, who do you want us to like sit down with? Because these, I know there's, there's something in me that was always like, oh, I love those, the structure of a one-on-one chat. But like, it's just not me. Like I, I like these group chats, so if you wanna. Pick up a hot seat or there's someone you wanna see like sit down next to all of us. Like it's gonna be me and Lana and Audrey and Megs and Kelly and probably a couple other of those of us who are like, like in our circle of, you know, of flow. But um. Yeah, if you wanna hear us chat with somebody, um, let

We love to chat,

We do, like, as Audrey said, some people just aren't yappers, but if you'd like to hear us yap with someone, not just at them. Um, and that's how we want it to be with you too. Like, we don't want you to feel like we're just yapping at you. Uh, at

But we kind of are.

We kind of are, but like, please know that it's with an open seat. Like it's right here. So, um, let's, let's pick up where, 'cause we were like, we actually stopped for a second, took a little coffee and bathroom break and then came back and Audrey was like, Hey, what about Atlanta was like, let's shut this and hit record because we're missing the good stuff. And this, this is the kind of conversations I wish for you. Um. In the coming year Is this like, shh, so we can actually record this because it's so good. We should probably put all of the transcripts into AI so we can remember what we said to follow up on. 'cause you know what, Audrey, we still had like our lock-in episode

We do we, need a follow

we'll follow up on that. Like all of 2026 is like a lock-in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

thinking? What's your 2026 look like? Audrey just wants to talk about herself. You guys, she was like, I just wanna kidding.

Well, I think that, so I'm such a verbal processor.

I know. Same.

you know, like, and it's even, you know, it's funny 'cause last night we were voice memoing back and forth and I was like, Thea, I just had this BA and then I was like, here's this, this. But then let me go back. and process and make sure that, like, let me make sure that I am processing my own thoughts, um, before someone else. feeds into them. But I'm just such a verbal processor and I, and again, maybe it's because I am. I don't know why. I'm not even gonna guess why it, it is just the way God made me. Yeah. He's like, Audrey, you are a yapper and you're a verbal processor and it's super funny 'cause like I didn't grow up at home like that, like

You know

at all.

think I did either. I

didn't,

I am the like. Yeah, like too much sugar kid in the family like that just will not stop talking.

I'm the second child. So if that tells anybody anything about,

I'm an eldest daughter

I am too.

eldest daughter baggage.

We'll boss you around.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Um, so I got this sweatshirt from, I got this sweatshirt and it said green broke. It says green broke. And um, I Snapchatted one of my girlfriends and I was like. Look at this sweatshirt, and she's like, you need one that says barely broke. And she's an oldest daughter also. And I'm like, I literally do, but you know what? I am embracing, I'm embracing the, I wanna call it like, I don't know if I wanna call it the mess or the chaos or like whatever it is, I'm embracing that side of myself because for so long. Um, I brought the bro energy to everything that I was doing, and I was trying to be so structured and this and that, and dah, dah, dah, and I got really far, like, I was really, really successful and I plowed through a lot of things. And then when everything, I'm gonna call it collapsed, because that feels dramatic, and then it feels like anything

Well, I'll tell you that, trying to say that you feel like you're being dramatic is a trauma response. So probably what? Yeah. Like thinking that you're being too much or being dramatic or making too, too much out of your like hurts or whatever is like a trauma response

Well, that's interesting because I just, I think that, okay, this whole too much thing, we're gonna squirrel okay.

yeah, I'm here for the too

Here we go.

This whole, too much conversation. I am. And I think this kind of ties into where I'm like, I'm just gonna be whoever I am. I am barely broke. I am barely broke. Like so, but it's okay because I have other superpowers. And I think that's kind of what I really wanna embrace because when you can embrace like your other superpowers, like, and I've said this before, like I create structure around some of the things that I know need structure and everyone's like, oh my gosh, you're so organized. And I'm like, I'm not, not even in the slightest. But I need structure.

That's

tactical things,

because I have to like, that's like all, like that is where this place of all of the things that I created for the membership is because I'm like I, that is not a spiritual gifting. Like I am not disciplined. I am not focused. I am not organized. And I realized when I. Drug myself. When I drug happy go lucky Thea over and sat her down and was like, look at your stinking calendar. Make a plan, write a list for the grocery store. It gave me so much ease in the day to day and I was like, I have to do this. Not because I'm good at it. I, what I'm really good at is I'm good at strategy and pattern recognition, and I think it's because I'm so chaotic. I'm a chaotic and like not chaotic, and like, oh, I'm a hot mess. I am not a hot

Right, right.

I am not a hot mess, but like there's a lot I wanna do and a lot going on. And again, I, I just like all of the things. So I'm right there with you where it's like, yeah, I just had to get really strategic about these things that, that will support me. Like this is the infrastructure. It's so

The, yeah.

It is because we're so good at winging it. I mean, when you're amazing at winging it, you can, you can get away with a lot

Right.

and which does

I said about. Well, that's what I said about like on last week's episode where I was like asking about like the independence. Like I have been rewarded for my bad behavior. Like I am rewarded for winging it. I am rewarded for being independent. I am rewarded. Like there's a piece in it. There's a kernel in that that is like that. Such a good, like, such a good positive thing, like my ability to figure things out, my ability to keep going and be tenacious. Like those are like the seeds of goodness. Like those are really good seeds, but sometimes they amplify into a way that's like, not good for you. And like, yeah, it's like, oh, look at me, wing it and get like, and then teaches me to wing it. And then I'm living off the adrenaline rush of winging it. Like, it's so easy. But again, that's what makes you like, I think that's where it's like, um, what do they say? Like talent. Work beats talent when

talent every time. Yeah,

And I think that's like this whole like high energy, high achiever thing is like we have so much talent. Like we have so much rocket fuel and just the way the system is built and like we could probably go all the way back to like, you know, societal pressures, patriarchy, education system. It rewards us for not in court, like taking our talent and working with it, right?

yes. So remember that meme? I think I sent it to you, Thea. There's a meme and it was like, okay, like our Goal is to achieve all of the things, which that's not what I said, but I'm using that. The goal is to achieve all the things without not crash, without not crashing out, not burning out, not, ruining our health. All of these things. And I think that what this reward system that you're talking about, like I went off and built an entire empire. And was so burnt out and. All of Like, so burnt out. And so, but there was, re reward, you know, I did what I did in four years. What partners grown men that were like, had two or three partners did, and, you know, 10 year, like I was on this trajectory of bam, bam, bam. And then I looked back and so did it. Crash and burn was ace. There was a successful handoff for the most part. Like, and so that you could look at it as success, but where was. Like what happened to my heart in the process and what happened to like my, like my light and my joy and all of these things. And so I had dialed in my strategies and my tactical stuff, and I became, like, I worked within this box to get to the end goal, but then I lost a lot of like the, the joy about, me. You know, like I'm just that fun loving, like Audrey will

broke.

Yeah, I'm barely broke. And so, but.

I think too, like okay, so deciding what your top priority is and whatever, but like what you said earlier about like you bulldoze through it, I think that is part of it too, is like when we're so busy bulldozing to wherever we would, wherever we wanna go, we are not interruptible. And I think

Oh, come on.

we have to be interruptible for our, for our friends, for our family, for the random

God to whisper in your ear, like, 'cause you can't hear it.

in your ear.

Was that at me? Are you calling me out?

Seriously,

I'm calling me out

Well, you're

lose yourself, you lose yourself in that too,

and then

yeah, you achieve what you want, but you miss out on the blessing.

Oh, and also too, like can we just talk defeat and resentment? Like

I know about

and like, and

And the shame that comes with that too.

man.

I think too often we conflate this and this is where we get that false choice and that false binary because here we are, we're like, okay, look at what I achieved 'cause I'm right there with you. Look at what I achieved, all of this. Oh, but it was empty. No. Success is not like correlation. Causation, you can have success and when you get there the right way, when you, when you have the discipline to do the right things, like you can have the success and feel good, like you do not have to compromise. And I hate. Compromise.

that also means you, that also means you have to be okay for it to be a slow win because it doesn't always happen as quickly, but I think you'll feel better when you achieve

And

you have brought the people with you.

And do you care? I mean, really, do you care if if someone sat you down? It's like there's like, I'm sure there's a meme out there. It's like if you knew success was inevitable, if I told you in 20 years for a fact you will have billions of dollars, the perfect marriage, wonderful children, all of your health, like everything that you could, like whatever your dream is. If I was like, in 20 years, I promise you it'll be there regardless of what you do. Wouldn't that be a load off now? Do you have to have it in 10? No. If I know it's guaranteed in 20 and I don't have to like stress out about it, like, and maybe it will be in there in 10 because no one said it's not there in 10. No one said it's not there in five. But if I will guarantee you at this point, like do you care how fast it comes?

This is such a good, because Okay. 'cause we're all like, we're all Olympic level athletes. Like this is the co the thread that we're going with. Yeah. This is the team. Let's go to the Olympics. Um, so we're these Olympic level athletes and we're sitting here and we're like, okay. I went to the Olympics and I burnt out, But I wanna go back to the Olympics. but I don't wanna be burnt out. And I think, right, and so it's so funny that you said like, does it matter, How does it matter how long, it takes? Because, um, like Sophia I sent you yesterday where I was like here's my plan. like.

Yes.

it's gonna take me four years to do what I thought I was gonna do in two years after I reworked everything. And you're like, Audrey, two years, that two year mark still is really good. And I was like, it's why, like what is in between my ears that I'm like,

and I'm okay with that too. And this is the thing. This is, this is what I'm talking about, the conversation. This is why you need the conversation. Because your desire to be like double, triple that

Yeah. two years

it's not gonna be quite as good as I thought. Like that's what keeps you pushing. That's what will probably make your two year mark be better than your projection is because of that desire. And then you need the conversation that's like. Look at this sister, like,

Audrey, you're so good. Yeah. Well, and I, and it's so

don't give up.

and don't, that's the thing, don't give up because I think that sometimes we're a little bit all or nothing. So I'm like, well, if

Some, sometimes, sometimes

all the time, all

so I'm like, if I go gangbusters, then can I be better in two years? But I think this is where like. These good conversations with you guys where you kind of. grounded me. And I was like, okay, but if I'm, if I, I just need to be consistent. I just need to be consistent and let this all compound. and if I'm, you know, what? Insert my time allotment to produce whatever it is that I'm producing. So if I'm spending, I'm gonna call it two hours a day to get to that point in two years. Stop it. And then that habit now has been formed and I can be chaos the rest Of the day, but in those two hours, I'm building that habit to get where I need to be in two years. And then in four years it compounds even more. And this is the thing we miss, I think sometimes, well maybe everyone else has it figured out, and I'm just now figuring it out.

no disclaimers in 2026.

Thank you.

Yeah.

One. Forgets about that compound effect because I want it this fast. I want it Amazon fast. And who, and, and this is the piece that I've real as I've slowed down a lot in the last like two or three years. One thing I really realized is there, this is gonna be so cliche and I really hope that the way I say this, just hits someone's heart the way it needs to hit. 'cause I really mean this in the deepest part of my soul. Like who I Have become in the last three years that I've slowed down and been like, okay, okay, God, I'm not gonna, miss your voice this time. Right? Like, I'm, I'm here. I'm here walking slow and probably slower than what I should be And I kind of kick myself sometimes 'cause I'm like, I'm almost at that two. year mark if I would've started a year ago, right? Like, but Whatever. Like who I, I know, I know. but who Audrey is like, and like who Audrey is and. Like sitting back, enough to be like, okay, where am I? Good qualities? Who am I supposed to be? Like, who am I becoming? and learning that I don't have to burn myself out to get to where he wants me to be and who he's calling me to be. like I don't have to do. that. And so spending two hours instead of seven hours in a

Right.

burning out towards this one goal, we have margin and, and we ha Even Olympic athlete as Olympic athletes, I declare we still need margin. We need margin for the other things. And

You absolutely need margarine. I mean, you don't lose yourself in the process of attaining your goals. I mean that, that's like the biggest part is because when I was really high functioning, amazingly, like getting it all done, I was no longer available for the best parts of me, for the best parts of what God had for me too. Right. And that when you look, you didn't see, I didn't see it at the time. 'cause

Right.

yeah, I'm checking all the boxes. I'm getting all the crap done. But like when I look back, I was like, I wasn't doing the things I knew I should have been doing. The things that were like so much deeper than just like checking the box, but ugh. Yeah.

I think there's like so much like what you guys are talking about too. Like I am just like, okay, so this is my pattern recognition coming in. I'm like, I'm over. Or like I was sex, I was successful and I was

Come on. Come on.

what I mean? Like, like we need to like, I think every time we say, or we need to say, can I say and instead because, and I think that's where we get like a little bit tripped up. And also too, just the wisdom of like. Uh, there's just, I have so much more wisdom and I, and I, it's like not our, like, not to, not to shirk any blame. Um, my sisters loves to tell me how I'm not at fault, and I'm like, well, technically I'm like, I can break this down in a way that things are my fault. Like, I'm not shaming myself, but they're my fault. And then that I think she wants to reach through the phone and slap the crap outta me. But I'm like, when you, like you, I know you learned, like you learned like going, like when you're talking about your two year mark, you learned if you put in. You are like, if I put in two hours of effort, if I put in six hours of effort, I'm gonna get like, not even three times a return, I'm gonna get 10 times a return. Right. And I think

But the question is, are you.

but Well, it does on your goal. And that's the problem. That's the problem is like, we need to be looking at these things, uh, from a place of wisdom where we want, we want success and sustainability. Like, and we don't sacrifice su success for sustainability. Like if it's sustainable because you're not doing a damn thing. Like that's no thank you. Like just no thank you. But like if it's success and I'm exhausted and irritable and I can't sleep at night and like then that's not success. Like even if I hit my benchmark or exceeded my benchmark. And so I think this is where like the observation where it's like, again, I feel like this is wisdom. Like you have had to, you've had to like success. Spectacularly succeed and spectacularly crash out to like earn wisdom is earned. And I hate that like 20, 20 year olds, 25-year-old Thea hates that like, wisdom is earned and you have to have it like you have. We just have to like, that's the whole thing, right? Like, but it's like feels and like imagine what it's gonna be in 20 years when we have all these things that we've sustainably achieved for ourselves because we were wise about it. Like, we're gonna look back at today. You know,

And probably laugh at

and be like, oh my gosh, I, I missed so many things. And I love that for me, like I love that for me to look back 20 years.

Yeah.

Gosh.

it's interesting and that when you said, if I put 10 times the effort, am I gonna get 10 times the result? And then Lana, you're like, but are you? And You know, it's interesting because let's talk about like the crash burnout. Well, so now I've spent two years recovering, three years recovering from the crash burnout, right? Like so. did I achieve, in a short amount of time? Some really, really great things. Ah-huh. I sure did. But then, the crash burnout caused a two, three year delay, and so I think that this is like the wisdom that, and slow and steady runs the race.

We hate

yeah. You know what I mean? Like Yeah.

Because it's so much harder. It's so much harder because I think women like us, we like to go, go, go, go, go. And it's really hard to not

I

know what, can I just say one more thing? Like also you go fast in the straight stretch and you slow down for the turns. And I think that's where we miss out is like we, we expect, like, we expect, oh, like here's the answer, check, and now I have the answer forever. Like, go fast when the going is easy and when you start to see a hairpin turn coming up, then it's time to pump the dang

you gotta

you know what I mean?

the barrel.

The barrel. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah.

I dunno anything about barrel chasing, but I do know that you have to rate the barrel because that's the thing. Like otherwise you come, you come into that barrel too fast and you're gonna swing way out on the backside and you have no margin for the turn. Like you have no way to turn at that speed. And so what if it's, okay? Hear me out on this Slow

rate your steer, Audrey. Like can we bring it back to something you actually know about, like rate your

Right, Myster. Okay. And okay. Yes, because, because my problem is that like I kind of wanna crowd my steer sometimes. So imagine that.

Imagine that. I would never, I would

yeah. And so it's, so it's actually kind of interesting because like. Like healing at these shows now you kind of have to stay a little bit further back and Then you're staying back, You're staying back, you're staying back, and then you kind of come in a little bit faster. right? So there is a, time and a place for the speed. But when I'm like, when I'm rating my, when I'm staying back far enough I can, see the whole picture in front of me. Like at.

Here we go. That's such a good metaphor.

I know. It's so

not so good? I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Um, it's, Yeah, so you can see everything in front of you so you can make the adjustments that you need to make. Because if, if I'm crowding my steer and I'm right here. I can't make any adjustments. like I just have to take a shot and hope that,

Mm-hmm.

and that's like the worst possible strategy.

the worst. Pause, just Take a shot Yeah. Yeah. exactly. So if you kind of hang back far enough you can Not too, but, but you can't be too far back 'cause then you have too much space to catch up with. Right. So, um, but yeah. So What? if we looked at these goals? Okay. So, and I Know the slow and steady one's, the race is, makes me wanna throw the mouth a little bit. Um.

there's a time for that. And then there's a time for the go fast.

Yes. And

yes.

what if we were looking at our goals from a more holistic standpoint? And again, this is probably one of those things that's like, duh. But at the same time it's like, and again, I appreciate where You were like, Audrey, that's still a really, really good two year trajectory. And I'm like, oh, you're right. It is a really good two year trajectory.

somebody just has to say it to you.

And Yeah. And so if I can get there in two years and what else can I, do in those two years with my, extra? Space time, capacity, Yes. I can build deeper friendships so that I don't crash out again because I then. don't hermit and hide. 'cause I don't know how to operate in my burnout crash out. And I can set other goals that are compounding and I can, you know what I mean? So there becomes more like we can actually do more in less time. And this is how we have it

Okay, so I have to like, there's two things I have to talk about. One, I wanna circle back to like having to have someone say it to you. Um, but first I wanna say like, this is what I'm talking about, like it's agility. Like this is what we have to, like, being able to know when to speed up, when to slow down, like the rating, the taking a look back, looking at everything. Looking at the whole surroundings, not just focusing on what's right directly in front of you and being able to pan in, pan out, shift gears. Lean to the left, lean to the right.

Yeah.

When we improve our strategic agility across all domains of our life, this is where it happens. Because all these things slow and steady, raise a race and don't give up and simplify and, you know, everything can be yours. And, and, and, but what you need is the agility to do that. And then the other thing I wanna talk about, 'cause we, we are gonna have so many conversations about Be a Villager this year, you guys, because like I'm, I'm, I'm pissed about it, like I'm just. I'm pissed, I'm angry and I'm like ready to, like, let's, I'm tired of talking about the same stinking problems,

Yes,

I'm just tired of like, I mean, and so we're gonna talk about it. I know, but, but it's like when you are like, there's like two kinds and I think it depends on like where the people in your life are like what, what season that they're in. But like, you have to protect your hearts. Guard your heart guys above all else, because like, even the best, most well-meaning friends, like, they might be like, oh, well, Audrey, like, there's a different energy between like, oh, well, I mean, even if it's half your goal, that's still really good like that, that's, that's coming from like kind of a negativity. Like, you, you're shooting too high. It's, you know, like kind of thing. Or, but being like, Audrey, look how good this is. This is triple a principle. Look at this. And so it's the same thing, but it's coming from a different place. And I want to one urge us always to be like, am I like? 'cause it's also our job to like call our friend out. Or if you're like running a hundred miles an hour, I don't wanna be cheering for you as you run off a cliff,

right? Please don't

yeah. Right. Please be like, you're doing really good, but please don't run off the cliff like. What Trump, right? Like, so, so I'm just like, I think it's so important that we like be a friend like that and like also, and like I'm here for like, I want to be obviously like there's not, we've talked about this as a good, another conversation. Like there's different friends, like there's some friends that get your whole heart, right? Like they get your whole. Cut it open. Here's the icky parts and the good parts and the everything. And then other friends, they just don't get your whole heart. And that's fine. Like that's, and I had a really, I, that was a big lesson for me to learn that I had to have like not my whole heart on the table for everyone who wants to pass by. Um. That's a whole other conversation, but like, you know, like know those people that will be able to call you, call you out on things, but doing it, you can call someone out and cheer for them. Like, it's not like, because I feel like too often there's, we all have, um. We've all had these people that kind of like circulate through our life where they think they're being helpful, like the Debbie Downer, but the, it's like disguised as being helpful and then like, that's fine every once in a while. Right. But like, you know those people that are like chronically, like pointing out the Yeah. Like that will drag you down and that's where you start veering into this place where you're like, I'm just too much. I, you know, like I'm just, I don't, I'm not here for that. I'm not here

is a, there is a point though that we do have to learn how to accept helpful criticism and even if it's not helpful, like being able to wade through those weeds and being able to like pull out of that, what will help you. Move forward, right? Because I think we're really bad. Our generation is so bad at like, oh, they offended me and slicing them

Yes.

I hate that. I hate that because I think we miss out on so much growth by not being willing, uh, willing to be teachable, right? We're just not teachable by like these voices that are like, Hey, actually I think that is probably not what you should have done. And instead of being like, you know what, evaluating it, not just taking it to heart right away, but evaluate it. And like, because otherwise, if you're just cutting off friends every time they offend you, guess what? You're not gonna have any friends. Because like there has been a point in every friendship that you're gonna butt heads sometimes. But if you cannot come back and like, like reconcile or even just be like, you know what? I think what they said really hurt, but they were right. Like, goodness, swallow your pride. It's hard, but you're not gonna have friends if you don't.

Mm-hmm. That's so, that's so interesting too, because I, okay, so I wanna share this from like a different perspective a little bit. Um, a few years ago we read that book, um, it was like, how to be un offend or something like that. And it was really good. And so anyways, I am Kind of a personality? I take all of the criticisms,

Same.

okay, like if you're Like

my feelers are soft.

Yeah. But I, I don't, and I don't, know why. And you know, it's super interesting Because like I've had conversations with people. I'm like, why? If everyone saw this, why didn't they tell me? And everyone's like, Well, no one knows how to tell you because whatever their explanation is. And I'm

I've had people say that to me too.

know what though? I challenge that too though. I mean, again and.

So point is that, sorry, sorry. I didn't

Keep going. Keep

way. Okay. Yeah. The point is like, I am so coachable. I am like, that's, one thing about me is I'm so coachable. So when I have someone who is like a really good. Coach I am like, Forget about it. Like it's game out lights out for Everybody When I have somebody who knows how to speak to my heart, like. when I have somebody who knows how to speak to me, Like it's lights out. And even the people that like get it wrong, if you will, like, who like, maybe don't maybe come off, you know, like, um, two years ago someone Asked me a, a, really challenging question, and in the moment I was kind of hurt and offended about it. And I was like, son of a gun. But I sat and I thought about, it and I thought about it and I thought about it and like, two years later I was like, she's right. And so I try not to get upset at people, when like something, stings. Um, but, but then there's times where it. sting and, and this is different. I think you have to differentiate. And The only reason I bring this up is 'cause I think you have to differentiate. There's sometimes people say things and it stings because you know it's wrong. And for someone like me. I don't want to, like if you tell me, Audrey, you probably should walk on the right side of the road, instead of the left side of the road, And I keep walking on the right side of the road. and Something happens, then I'm like. oh, great. This person, like I'm an idiot because I didn't listen to this person. But sometimes I know. I should be walking on the right side of the road and they're telling me to walk on the left Side of the, road. and so there's this like inner, conflict and maybe it's just discernment and like testing the spirit and taking aback and praying about things to make the right decisions. Um, because Sometimes people will say stuff and it's like I'm, you can't, see my hands, but it's like, excited, excited. And then they'll say it and it's like,

Yeah. That is so true. That's really good. And that reminds me of job too, like what you're

yeah. Yes,

him such bad advice, they meant well, but they were giving him bad advice. So you, You're right. you have to use discernment. You have to know yourself to a point too of like.

Yeah, but that comes back to the confidence too. Like we

Come on.

because I have been, because I'm I'm with you. There was a point where I was sure of myself, like, and not to a dangerous, egotistical place, but I was sure of myself and I went through a very long season of erosion where I then assume that I, it's always my fault. I'm always wrong. People don't wanna be around me like. You like, I'm too much like all of those things, like it just chipped away to me. Like, and this is when I talk about the whole 360 degree thing, because Ra, you and I have had this like confidence conversation. It's not confidence, like what we think about as like. Be confident, believe in

Right.

it's a deeper thing and we have to cultivate that piece of like, maybe it's even less confidence and more like self-trust and like self knowing. But I think, um, you cultivate that in yourself and then you also cultivate that through having friends. So you can like, again, cut your heart open and be like, okay, this is a black spot. What, what do you think about this black spot? Because, you know, that sort of thing. Because I, I don't want to become hardened. But I want to become hardened because I'm so tired of getting my feelings hurt and I'm so tired of, I always default to, oh, IM messed up, does something wrong, or I, I always default towards, or I have, I'm not doing that. Like I didn't, and then I did, and it's like, I need to find that place in the middle again, that coachable place where it's like, okay. I should be walking on the left side of the road. And I can see that. And I think that also comes up again from like what I did this past year where I was like, okay, we're gonna sit down and observe. Like you are going to be an active observer. And I think you have to be an active observer of yourself and your situations. And um, like I think that you kind of said this in a different way. Audrey is like, um, you hear it and then like, you're like, Ooh, that stings. But like, you don't like make the decision right there.

I don't ever,

Like, and that's the whole, that, that's the hard thing. And like, it's also true that like people can say things that are right, that the way they said them were crap. You

This is true.

And it's hard to like, and I mean that's like, everything is so much more complicated, you know? Like it doesn't fit in a meme. We love memes and we love to share memes. And I think as a person who likes like context and to like get deeper into things, like that's where I get, like I get tripped up about things and then I end up starting disclaiming to a point where I like. Give away all of my quote unquote power, if you will. Um, but like again, you said something really crappy to me and you were right and it was crappy.

Right.

know,

Well this is, this is where I, at some point, I can't remember if it was this conversation or last conversation, but you know, in, okay. I'm gonna get on a soapbox. Um,

Lemme hold it up. Hold on.

okay.

okay. Before you jump into that, the,

Wait,

the word that if you, if you, yeah. Don't, don't take it yet. If the word, the word that just keeps coming to mind is humility. When you guys are talking about that. 'cause like really that humility is like. PP possessing like an accurate view of oneself. Right. It it's not shaming. Yeah. It's not shaming yourself, but it's like knowing both your strengths and your weaknesses and not like shaming yourself into that. Right. And that's like, that's where I just lean into what you're saying is like, you gotta be humble in, in doing this. And that does not mean shame. That means just like being confident in yourself

it's so easy to fall, and I think this is true for high achievers. It's so easy to fall out of, like off of humble, right Into like self-deprecation and self-flagellation.

So

okay. Audrey, where's the box?

Yeah. Yep. Okay. Step right

there.

up. Okay. Let me do this. Did that work?

We're gonna start making our own. I know. Like I'm here for it. Like we don't need a production team.

Who

We got this. We got

We just need a shot of espresso. Okay.

a xylophone. That will help.

Oh yes. Here we go. It's gonna be like old school radio show. Ding, ding, ding.

one of, um, one of my goals is. I wanna be. a good friend to other people. And You know, by the grace of God, I have one thing that he really has, in, like, one thing that's inside of me is I do get a little offended, but not to the point where I'm going to ruin a relationship. Like someone can push me really far and I still want relationship with them. Like I, I don't know what this is inside of me. Sometimes it's bad because I don't, I don't recognize where someone. shouldn't have. Certain Access. Yeah. And This is something I'm really having to grow in. And that's even, that's like really hard to say. but like, I can note, like there's some people I get off the phone with, them. and I'm like, it's just rocky soil. Like, so I, you know, I can speak in and I can say whatever, and then like but it's just rocky soil. And then there's other people and I speak into them and it's like good soil. And, um, I'm really, you know, I'm really something that happened a few years ago made me really sensitive. about like what I say to people and how I say it to people. Um, and so I got overly sensitive and kind of quit speaking the truth. because. Some people were getting super offended, but as I've like grown kind of past that, one thing that I have noticed is my friends will come to me for the truth because he know, Like they know that Audrey will tell them the truth. and she will do it in love and It will land. their heart, whether they're rocky soil or good soil regardless. It's like both types of friends, Um, they know that it will land. and Whatever happens, like, you know. then it's not my, it's it's been planted.

Can I tell you that that is my favorite thing in a friend? Like, just as you said that I've, I've, I've had other conversation. My favorite thing in a friend or any relationship because I'm, because I am so sensitive, I'm like, I know that you will tell me the truth. Like, I know that you will not BS me. I know that you won't like, and like that just makes me like relax so much because like I am a hypervigilant person. Like that's

Me too. Me too.

hyper-vigilant and I'm always looking for like, where's the double meaning? Because that's my life experience, right? I've been hurt enough to be like, okay, you need to protect yourself and whatever conversation you're having, like even with people that you quote unquote trust, like that hyper vigilance, like. It's clicked on. It's like the little, you know, little, the little needle's, like,

Yes.

and so when I have, and I have a handful of friends where I'm like, I know when I talk to them about things. That they will be like, I know they'll be like, yeah, you're wrong, or No you're not. And it's the same thing, like if it's you're wrong, like it comes at that vibe of like, I'm still cheering and I'm giving you a warning. And so I love that like when you said that. Like they know Audrey will give them the truth like I do my, and I think too, like I do that too and I've actually, like, some people are not like, that's not what they want in a friendship.

Hmm.

They don't want you to be like, the emperor has no clothes. Like they do not want that.

we have to, I think that, I'm gonna, where I'm going with this is I'm gonna challenge everyone to be a better friend, basically. so so like, because here's the thing is I, I do have friends that. Will Say the truth. and the way that they say the truth makes it really hard to receive. And I It's yes, and then it feels prickly and it doesn't Because here's the piece, like, if I'm coming to you in my vulnerability, um I need, I need to know I'm safe. And there, there are, you know, there are some people where I'm not safe to share because, because, not because they're not safe people, but because, um, they will view things and operate out of their lens of. Hurt, trauma, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I think that this is where I'm gonna challenge people to be a better friend is like, are, when I respond to you, am I operating from some of my hurt? and and I will say like, I, will point blank say this to people. I don't know if I'm operating, from my hurt. 'cause I know I have this kind of a trigger. but it feels like this. But take it like, you know, test the spirit because, and so I, I do disclaim in those situations because sometimes I know, and

I don't think that's disclaiming, I think that's like, it's like setting this tone, like

training your friends. Yeah. I like, there's a, there's a point where we do have to kind of like. Uh, it's, it's unfair to our friends to say stuff to them

Yes, it is.

them to respond the way that we want them to respond Without, us, like training them to do so. Okay. So like, if you need some encouragement and you're coming to a friend for an encouragement, start that. Start at.

yeah. Yeah. That's

I need you to encourage me in

Right?

Right,

and then share, right? Like I think sometimes we share expecting them to respond in a, in a

That's good. Mm-hmm.

But we're not, actually setting them up for success. We're setting them up for failure. 'cause like they don't know that. They don't know that

That's so good.

want, you want help or you want encouragement or you just need somebody to listen.

Yeah, that's good. Actually. That's something I don't do, but I'm gonna start doing that now because that's a really good point.

I would also say like, for your few friends, so like, that's gonna be like your inner circle, right? Like those are gonna be the people that you're really invested in. And so I feel like it's, I mean, yes, calling that out is like directly, I'm here for that. But also the more we're talking and the more we're sharing and the more we're discussing like the, the finite Yeah. You learn, you, you know your friend. Yeah. And that's what I love about, I love about that. And I wanna say too. As you're talking about this Audrey, like the safety piece. I think this is, and you guys know I don't dog on social, I don't dog on social media, but I think this is where it's like hurt us because now it is so much more apparent where we see the performative side of the people that we're in relationship

Yeah.

And so we're seeing like you wouldn't have seen that otherwise. And I, and I think that's a good thing actually. Like I think that we should be held to a higher standard where things are more transparent, like you shouldn't be. Talking down on someone in one room and then making over them like they're the best thing ever in the next room, just because there's no one there to see it. So I actually don't think that's a bad thing because I think you are kind of a shit if you're doing that. Like if you are, if you are online, like talking people up, and then also like you, someone like, you know, like even if it's not even like talking bad about someone, but like, you know, like she's not wild about that girl, but like, so why are we making out? And I think that that's like another piece of making friendship feel safe. And I don't have like a fully formed thought about that, like just, but like I know that that contributes just from the other conversations I've had, which is again, why it's so important that you have that really close group that you can ask that question about. You know, like you can be like, Hey, you know, 'cause there's a difference between, uh, you know, not being a jerk and also like, okay, why are we performing?

Yeah. Yep.

And I think that's like, and that's again, where I think like, again, double-edged sword on, on social as far as that goes. But I just, I mean, you guys all love these conversations and I hope that as we have more of these conversations, we start to think like, okay, like I'm here for Audrey when you're like, I'm gonna challenge you to be a better friend. And when I. In that same breath, and I challenge you to find your besties, right? Like not everyone is like, you can't be the best friend to 150 people

Right, right. Yeah. I was gonna say you've tried.

yeah, like, and like being okay with that. Because there's also a piece in that too. Like I'm like, oh, I can be your friend. I can be your friend. Because, just because we don't wanna see people down, or we don't wanna see people hurting or struggling,

and I think you can be, you can be a friend, like you can be friendly to like the person that you know needs a meal that week or whatever, you know, fill in the blank. But that doesn't necessarily mean you need to be their best friend. I mean, like, look at, I just like always come back to Jesus. So if you're not into him, sorry guys, but like, he had three best friends and, and then he had 12 friends and then there was like everybody else that he obviously was, uh, like serving and loving and caring. For people, but like if God himself just had three best friends, you know that that's a good marker for us, that we might not be able to be best friends with. Absolutely everybody. So don't, don't burn yourself out on that either. And it, it changes too, right? Like, I mean. US three weren't really good friends 10 years ago, five years ago, right? We didn't even know each other. And like the friends that we had 10 or five years ago might not be our best friends today, Right. Like and that's okay. That's like life, right? Like don't be so hung up on the past that you're unwilling to like step into the friendship that. Like, that's for you today too, because I think sometimes I was, I, I've talked to girls, they're like, well, I had a best friend and that didn't work out, so I just don't wanna try again. And I'm like, that's so sad. Like, come on, come on. Like, I mean like, yeah, that probably really sucked, but like, that doesn't mean it's like the end for you in friendship,

mm-hmm.

I think I have like late nineties, early 2000 sitcom trauma around, like, I want, uh, the, I want friends, I want Rachel, Phoebe, like, or I want like Sex in the City. I want Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte. Like, I like, I think there's like, I think that might be like a millennial, an elder, millennial trauma that we have too. You know, where it's like, I don't wanna try anymore. Where's my Phoebe?

Yeah.

Well, and you have, I think to have, those kind of friends, like you have to be willing to communicate, and this is hard, like so this is where I'm saying, like be a good friend. Like you have to be willing to l learn other people, but also like be Confident enough to share like, this is what I need out of a friendship and stuff like that. And like in different seasons. and I've had conversa, I've told my friends. before, um, Hey, this came off like this and it made me feel this way, and I know you love me And so that's probably, not what you meant, but like, can we workshop this? a little bit? You have to be willing to do that. I

And then your friendship is so much deeper.

Well, and also.

work through that.

You have to be comfortable with the fact that it may be the end of that season for that friendship. Like if you say that and it's not well received and you have to be okay with it. Like not with any sort of malice or resentment. If they're like, no, I think you're like, I think you're wrong. I think you're crazy. I said that and I meant it

But if you are best friends with that person, like I truly

were probably red flags that along the way if you get to.

like if you get, if you're best friends with that person, they don't receive that well then like were you really

You weren't

Moray,

Yeah, I know, and I'm

I don't know.

but you besties out there,

Well, but, and maybe, and maybe like, maybe I, okay, so maybe I'm like a, you're to be seen and not her generation. So it's like, it's really hard to, sh for me, it's really hard to share. like, I'll just swallow all of it and tell 'em like, I can't swallow this anymore. And so maybe it's like, maybe I say that because I like have that trauma of like, you're to be seen and not heard. And so. I guess just Like in the last like year, I've learned to be like, Hey, this is, and sometimes people don't even realize, like, I think that sometimes people don't realize what they're doing, um, yeah. like, because I have, like, I have one of

don't be that person,

Yeah, but it's hard. I think we've all been, we've all

yeah. But I mean, it's all about cultivation too, like recognize.

that's my ch that's my challenge to you. Like this is, I guess this is my challenge to you to be a better friend. Don't be that person. Like be considerate of what you're saying and how you're saying it. And Like the, those are the things I think are really, important because I know like, when people share stuff with me, I am, because I've been on the receiving end of so many, um.

careless

or careless Comments. Right? Like, And, I, and I love these people and it, but I've been on the receiving end of a lot of careless comments that, Um, really sting and then I have to sit and work through them and that's fine 'cause I don't mind doing it and I will continue. to do it and I will probably stay in relationship with those people. um, but that's like my challenge to you to be a better friend. Is that like, be considerate of what you're saying. I'm not saying walk on eggshells.

Yeah,

but I'm saying like we need to be considerate and like sit with, okay. what? like, and for me it's like I tell, I will tell my friends, like, I feel the Holy Spirit on this, or like, this is just my own personal thought, or I'm not really sure where this is coming from. Like I disclaim all of those things in advance. before I will usually tell someone Something. And I think that it's really important, too. Be introspective, like this is how you become a good friend is you consider where, what I'm about to say to this person, where is this coming from? Um, and like. considering this person knowing their goals, 'cause I know like are they trying to get to the Olympics? Are they trying to get to the Junior Olympics? Are they trying to be a really good coach at the Junior Olympics? Are they trying to just go run? the track and field?

Well, and I think part of our problem though is like when we as friends. We project. Right. So Maybe. maybe my, I'm your friend and I'm on the, I'm on the bench and you're the Olympic person. Well, I'm projecting my advice. As the person on the bench, and maybe that's a little negative, right? So like you're, you just have to take, you have to take yourself out of it and like truly focus on the person you're talking to

Yeah.

like, and their story, not

Yes. You're so good.

muddle the waters of how you treat that person, because I. For me, one of the things that's really hard is like, I love hearing people's stories. I love hearing people's stories, but like I have a friend that can't step away from seeing out of her story, right? So like everything's about her story. So like, I think something that is she's learning into is like, how do we step into someone else's story and love them where they're at and not necessarily where you are at. Right, because That's that's when you give bad advice and stuff. 'cause really you're trying to give advice to yourself instead of to the friend.

I think too that that, like in those cases too, like that's another like degree of friendship, right? Like those people are probably like, you got the people. And I guess I'm just at a place too where I'm like, I'm super protective of my time and energy at this point. And so like, if you wanna just run the track, like you're on the, you're, you're on the track team, like, and I'm so happy for you and I'm, I'm willing to talk to you and hear about it, but like when I'm going, when I'm going out on the field, like I'm on the Olympic team. And like some of those players, some of my team is on the bench at the time, like, you know what I'm saying? Like there's seasons of being on the bench, but you're still on the Olympic team. And then there's like, and you may want to like, you know, just run track in your old age and then that's fine. But like I want you to find your team so that you feel so much more comfortable. 'cause I'm just, I don't want you to feel, I don't want you to feel less than if you're not interested in being on the Olympic team. And I don't want you to feel like you're too much. If, you know, you're, you don't wanna just run the track. And I think like, and all of this takes work, and I think that's too, like if you have chosen that you want a life that is this full, like, like, you know, like we are, and probably if you're listening to this, I'm probably like speaking about things that don't matter, but maybe think about someone else, you know, like. If you want all of it. Like, and I want it all like, I want it and in abundance. And so it's gonna take work like, it's

And

out your friends is gonna take work. Your, your health is gonna take work. Your, you know, if you want to head or heal or compete, it's gonna take work. If you want your business to be an empire, it's gonna take work. And it's not the hard work like we were talking about, it's like this kind of work where we're like, hmm, like the discernment and

It's the work that the world like really throws out the window,

Yes. Come on. Come on.

It's, It's it's the bo Yeah. It doesn't seem, it doesn't seem like this is the answer, right? But this truly is the answer. I saw something that it was like, Hey, schedule your fun first. And I think that's so true. We're like, we are so good at like putting in all the things that we think. Matter for like our goals, right? Like that are like the big heavy stuff and we forget about the stuff that actually like moves the needle, like what you're saying, discernment and rest and friendship and like these things that are like, oh, my friend will be there when I get to the top. Maybe she won't if you are just like gone see ya. Like be, be. Aware of what you are making your priority, not what you think you're making your priority, but what you're actually choosing.

Well, and I think it like be thoughtful and considerative in all things like schedule your fun two, because I feel like that's where we get in trouble is when we're like, oh, I need two x. This is the answer. And then we're, we're isolating that thing and prioritizing it where again, I'm gonna say be agile. agile, like, and start, start with like, start every time you make a decision and be like, okay, what do I really want? What do I really want right now? And go from there. Okay, you guys, these are, we're gonna have such good conversations this

It was good. This is

good. Like I, I have 20 more things I wanna talk about,

I know. Me too.

Um, you guys, if you wanna talk with us or if you know someone you want us to talk with and you just wanna be a fly on the wall, like I'm here for it, uh, slide into the dms at cowgirls over coffee, shoot us an email. Whatever you gotta do. Um, don't forget like we dropped last week. An entire ginormous, like everything I've ever thought of, all of my strategies and frameworks, um, it's all free. Like, just go download it and then we can talk about it. 'cause I'm tired of hearing I'm, I'm tired of the whining and complaining.

Let's go.

It's one way. It's not the only way, but if you're looking for a way that one will work. I promise hundreds of people have been helped by it. So that being said, you guys, um, cheers to the next conversation. I'll see you again. We'll see our listeners here again. I will be here next week. Um, and then we'll every week just come back and we'll keep chatting. Let us know what you think. We'll see you then.