Heather Shannon (00:01.71)
Well, hello, my friends. We are here today with a fun guest and a fun topic. So our guest is a spicy author. So Brea Rose went from working at Disney to writing dark fairy tale retellings that re-imagine classic stories into twisted tales. She's passionate about supporting new authors and now offers one-on-one coaching to help writers bring their stories to life.
When she's not crafting worlds with wicked twists, she can be found reading, watching anime, hanging out with her dogs, or exploring new corners of the world. So welcome, Brea Rose. How are you?
Bria Rose (00:39.008)
good. Thank you so much for having me.
Heather Shannon (00:41.228)
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for being here. I'm excited. I'm excited to kind of get into this. I also want to hear a little bit about your journey. How do you go from Disney, which is kind of the squeaky clean reputation, right? To, you know, writing darker twisted tales, as you said.
Bria Rose (00:59.722)
You know, Disney has been ingrained into my blood at this point. I love Disney. Certain directions they're taking definitely could be a little bit better. But overall, the magic of Disney is amazing. And, you know, being able to work there was just an amazing experience. But I feel as though Disney stories, especially the majority of the Disney stories,
good versus evil. is a hero. There is a villain. You know, there is evil. There is good. Like there is like a fine line, a distinction. It is black and white. And, you know, it's that's just not how life is now. I it's really not. So I think a really great example of Disney kind of going into this mindset of, villains are not.
Heather Shannon (01:33.688)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (01:37.688)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (01:42.286)
It's beautiful.
Bria Rose (01:54.7)
for the most part, born, they are made. So Maleficent, I think, is a prime example of this and kind of towing into this whole morally gray situation where Maleficent, right? Maleficent is no longer just the evil villain. She is just a little girl who was completely betrayed by someone that was close to her and turned into this villain.
Heather Shannon (01:58.113)
and
Bria Rose (02:24.106)
being a villain, she wasn't really a villain. So there's a lot of back and forth on that. I of course they did change the story of Sleeping Beauty, but I do love the turn that they took and how she was actually kind of like the mom in that story. So.
Heather Shannon (02:31.842)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (02:40.416)
For me, I've always been drawn to the darker side of things. I think I've always have done that. I started writing in books back in high school and I tried doing that with a friend and she wanted to keep it very YA and I was already trying to write darker stuff. So I think it's always been ingrained in me, but to kind of close out, you know, like this question, kind of like this whole full circle. Life is not good versus evil.
Heather Shannon (02:53.558)
Okay.
Bria Rose (03:10.354)
Everyone is morally gray to a point of, you know, I can be childish or tantrum or I mean, that's not morally gray, but you know, I there's different layers to people, you know, we all have different experiences and morals, values, there's different things that are important to us. And I think that makes her really amazing and complex story and characters.
Heather Shannon (03:10.52)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (03:23.01)
Yeah.
Thank
Heather Shannon (03:32.502)
Yes, I think that's a really good point. We're all complicated and also even choices that we think are good sometimes have negative consequences or painful consequences and choices that we might, you know, question ourselves about sometimes are actually just healthy boundaries. You know what I mean? Like there's just different ways to look at things too. And I think that like sex in particular, there's a lot of like unconsciousness about it. There's a lot of like...
Bria Rose (03:42.646)
exactly.
Bria Rose (03:49.621)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (04:00.558)
I don't really want to look at those parts of myself, you know, or maybe I'm not comfortable with all of my desires or whatever it is. part of why I was interested in talking to you is because several of my clients are very into erotic novels and romanticy. And even when they have a low libido, I think there's like something that feels safe about like reading a book and like
it kind of allows that part of you to explore, you know, and kind of to get to know that part of yourself more without necessarily having to kind of go do it in real life, or at least not having to go explore that yet. So I think that's all.
Bria Rose (04:45.548)
Yeah, no, it's an amazing outlet, especially for maybe finding something that maybe turns you on, like a new kink where you're like, hmm, maybe I might be into that. people say, oh, well, I wouldn't want to be kidnapped. like, maybe by someone, Leonardo DiCaprio and his prime. I probably wouldn't say no to that. So mean, situational, of course.
Heather Shannon (05:07.107)
you
Bria Rose (05:13.964)
But you know, there are certain situations of course that people say, no, I don't want that in real life. Like don't, there are certain situations to where only a fictional man would be able to do or say that to me, but a real life man say that to me and I would backhand you. That's no.
Heather Shannon (05:21.452)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (05:29.869)
Right.
Heather Shannon (05:33.942)
Yes. I think that's a really good point. sometimes people struggle with that concept that like, you don't have to make all of your fantasies real. Sometimes you can just enjoy the mental emotional part of it without having to make it like a physical dynamic in your real life relationship.
You know?
Bria Rose (05:53.962)
Yeah, people need, I think that's why this genre gets a lot of flack because, you know, with this, are, mean, dark romance means I am traumatizing all of my characters because I'm making them real and dynamic and, you know, I'm giving them the growth that they need in order to be the people that they need to be or not be, you know, sometimes.
Heather Shannon (06:07.886)
You
Heather Shannon (06:11.907)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (06:17.741)
Yes.
Bria Rose (06:18.07)
people, know? So, you know, it's just this cycle and I feel as though people are, like, there's consensual non-consent between two consenting adults and some people are like, so you like that fantasy? I'm like, yeah, it's just, it's, so kind of going into more of the trauma aspect of it.
Heather Shannon (06:31.906)
Let's talk about that a little bit more. Yeah.
Bria Rose (06:42.188)
People, some people don't want to generalize, but some people read these kinds of books because there's certain situations that may have happened to them that are in these books, like how you were kind of saying earlier about how someone who may have been maybe essayed a little bit.
different situations or different, you know, course, forums of that. Okay, okay. So yes. Okay.
Heather Shannon (07:07.234)
You can speak freely at this podcast. Yeah, everything's marked except that and we're not trying to shy away from trauma. Yeah.
Bria Rose (07:17.132)
Okay, so, you know, maybe someone who was sexually abused, they maybe will find a book that has that. Some people can't read it, but some see it as a form of healing. You know, if they were assaulted, maybe going through the CNC books and maybe putting themselves, a lot of people put themselves in certain characters' points of view and kind of lived through it, and now they are back in control. So...
Heather Shannon (07:27.256)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (07:41.078)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (07:46.172)
It's not a form of, you know, like, my God, you're into that. It's not just sexy. For some it is, some it can be 100%. But for others, it might be healing. You just don't know.
Heather Shannon (07:53.001)
Right.
Ooh wee.
I think that's a really good point. I'm going to kind of just define consensual non-consent a little bit more too. for the example you're giving, so consensual non-consent is basically somebody wanting to act out like being ravaged or a rape fantasy. the consensual piece...
I think, and this is maybe why it's healing, is you have control. You get to say what the boundaries are and create your own parameters so that it's not something that's really happening to you. It's something you've signed up for. At the end of the day, it's not rape if you're consenting. You know what I mean? But it's like, let's create a certain dynamic.
Bria Rose (08:30.549)
Yes.
Bria Rose (08:34.56)
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (08:39.328)
Yes.
Heather Shannon (08:42.998)
I think as a society, we like to be very civil or we like to think we're very civilized. But I also think like as part of my training as a sex therapist, we talked about what are things that are non-sexual that people do. People punch each other in boxing and we sanction that. So we might say people don't want to get hit. Well, but actually people are signing up for this, right? Or we might say that
Bria Rose (09:02.858)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Bria Rose (09:11.724)
I'm on my best one is wrestling.
Heather Shannon (09:12.184)
people don't want to be in pain in other ways. It's like, well, people get tattooed all the time, and it's painful. And some people like that. So I think it's important to acknowledge that we have these guides.
Heather Shannon (09:33.688)
Are you still there?
Heather Shannon (09:37.624)
Bria?
Heather Shannon (09:41.784)
Bri, are you there?
Bria Rose (09:44.318)
Yeah, sorry, can you hear me?
Heather Shannon (09:44.888)
Hello?
Bria Rose (09:51.766)
Hold on one second.
Heather Shannon (10:21.486)
Are you back?
Bria Rose (10:22.572)
Can you hear me now? Yeah, my internet switched. For whatever reason, I'm not sure why it switched, because I have like three different wifi things and I have an extender. For some reason it just switched to the normal home one. I'm like, no. Very weird.
Heather Shannon (10:24.8)
Yeah, now I get it.
Heather Shannon (10:39.438)
Okay, all right. So it seems to be back though. Okay, I just need to know. I'll just cut that part out. Okay, so where were we though? So I think we were saying some people do want these things was like we would say we don't want these in sex. But then in real life, people do seek some out, like pain or punching people are being punched.
Bria Rose (10:47.381)
Okay.
Bria Rose (10:50.794)
What's?
Bria Rose (10:58.508)
Yeah, yes. And I kind of went in there and I'm like, and I thought wrestling like, oh, I'm not gay. I'm like, yeah, but you wrestle. You roll around on the floor with a man. Like, you can't tell me that that's not that. It's very sexy. There are positions they get into.
Heather Shannon (11:11.787)
Right.
Right. Yeah, we I mean, I mean, I don't disagree with you. I don't know if it is for them. But yeah, it's certainly the idea. I, yeah, I think you're right. And so think I think it's important that people like you are doing this kind of work to kind of it kind of lets people know like, hey, you're not you're not alone and having some of these thoughts or having some of these fantasies.
Bria Rose (11:23.212)
No, probably not for them, but yeah.
Bria Rose (11:42.316)
Yeah, it is okay. I always say don't ick someone's yum. And that just means as long as it's between two consenting adults, I do not condone 18 and under. Even teens now that I'm in my 30s, I do see them as children still. Sometimes I'll have 21, 22 year olds, I'm just like, oh, oh no.
Heather Shannon (11:48.408)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (11:56.728)
Right.
Heather Shannon (12:03.02)
Yeah, yeah.
Bria Rose (12:10.22)
No, no, no. Like trying to like say like, Hey girl, what's up? I'm like, Oh no. And then they'll say, Oh, I like older women. I'm like, older women. Who are you? I am 32 child. Wild. So, you know, two consenting adults for sure. And you know, do your furries, do your fuzzies, do your, you know, different roles, do whatever it is that makes you happy. You know, do.
Heather Shannon (12:24.588)
So funny.
Bria Rose (12:37.516)
your groups, your lifestyle, do you pull, again, all of this is two consenting adults that are both on the same page, both on the same things, not, hey, honey, in a monogamous relationship, let's be poly, and it's just because you wanna cheat. That's the only reason you wanna be poly. There's no other reason. Yeah, so yeah.
Heather Shannon (12:58.526)
Yeah, that's the approach.
Heather Shannon (13:03.918)
So were you always a very sex positive person? did you grow up in a sex positive household or have you been on a journey with this?
Bria Rose (13:12.8)
I've been on a journey. I actually was terrified of sex up until about 25-ish. And it was, I just, and always in the back of my head, like when I was younger, of course, you know, my mom, you know, of course I don't want to be a teen mom. It doesn't just have to do anything with my mom, but you know, was not raised in the church, but I did go to church, church camp, and you know, the religious background, a lot of people.
Heather Shannon (13:20.737)
Okay.
Heather Shannon (13:30.466)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (13:38.636)
Of course, you know, a lot of religious people are not going to say, Oh, yeah, let's be sex positive. You know, that's just not going to be a thing. But when I was younger, my mom would always say, Okay, well, do you want to a baby? Or do you want to go to Disneyland? Do you want to go on trips? I'm like, Well, I want to go on trips. That's like a no brainer. Because she's like, because if you have a baby, then you're not gonna be going on these trips. I'm like, you know what, you're right.
Heather Shannon (13:44.812)
Right. Right.
Heather Shannon (13:59.629)
Yeah. Yeah!
Bria Rose (14:05.118)
I choose trips and I did. And you know, I think also I'm really happy that I didn't, you know, have sex too soon because I like right now I finally feel prepared for a actual relationship. You know, I just, felt, I feel like when you do things too young, you don't know, you don't know yourself. You don't, you're not going to have those boundaries cause you're still trying to yourself out. And I'm not, I don't want to speak for
Heather Shannon (14:29.133)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (14:34.284)
everybody, you know, but me personally, that is, you know, how I felt. And then it's also scary because it's it's like, okay, is this going to hurt? I hear so many horror stories of, you know, of it hurting or, you know, like different things. And I, you know, finally, you know,
had sex and I'm like, that's it. Okay. This is great. But it was a cool, it was a cool experience. You know, the guy was, you know, very nice, but overall, it just, the, was just, there was that fear, you know, the fear just was prevalent and you know, now, you know, older and it's
Compatibility, man, is kind of hard to come by because dating nowadays is not good. Everyone just wants, oh, I'm looking for casual, casual, casual. like, hey, I'm 32. I don't have time for casual. Do you want kids? Yes or no? How's your family? Are they going to like me or not? Are you going to cook me food? Because I'll cook the food, you do the dishes, and we're going to have to hire me. You know, like we have things to get done. I'm not sure what we're doing.
Heather Shannon (15:41.826)
You
Heather Shannon (15:57.433)
funny. So I mean, it sounds like you've come like a long way though, to go from a point of being like afraid of sex and having more negative associations to like writing spicy romance novels. Like, what do you think helped you get to the point where you're as comfortable as you are now to like come on podcasts and like talk about this publicly?
Bria Rose (16:20.204)
Um, I think that there should be a lot more sex positivity. I don't like the, lot of the female main characters where they're like, Oh, I'm a virgin and I talk really low and I'm mousy and I'm cute. You know, what about the, it's always allowed extroverted sex positive characters out of the side characters, the best friends and the ones that die off soon. And I'm loud. I'm extroverted. I have turned into being a little more, more vulgar.
Heather Shannon (16:32.45)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (16:40.6)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bria Rose (16:49.972)
with my language and you know I do respect because I do know that it can be hard for you know my family knowing that I write this stuff you know they are very supportive but I do keep it pretty separate you know but once I get bigger you know I mean like friends and family is hard in your day-to-day life saying yeah my daughter because she wants like to say my daughter writes books what kind of books
Heather Shannon (17:03.15)
this guy.
Heather Shannon (17:17.046)
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, don't ask me.
Bria Rose (17:19.756)
You know, so, you know, it's it not everyone is into that into those type. Not everyone's ready for those kind of conversations and those types of topics.
Heather Shannon (17:29.11)
Yeah. It's cute though that your mom wants to brag on you, you know, like that's very cute.
Bria Rose (17:34.78)
she is so proud of me. But sometimes she'll be like, but you know, it's, you know, it's a little hard, right? You know, like, it's, it's not, you're not writing Harry Potter.
Heather Shannon (17:43.151)
But she might come around. I mean, when I told my parents I was going to become a sex therapist, my dad is pretty sex positive, but my mom was like, that's weird. But then she came around. She started listening to she listened to some of my early episodes with her friends and stuff. And yeah, so she sometimes it just takes them a little while.
Bria Rose (17:51.529)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (18:01.868)
No, she's gone to, you know, book signings and you know, she, yeah, she really saw like she got to see in person. Just she's like, damn, you could sell water to a fish. I'm like, I'm a good salesperson. Hey, that's my livelihood. need money. So I'm like, please give me money. Please. Thank you. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (18:05.058)
that's amazing!
Heather Shannon (18:20.782)
Yeah, that's so cool. That's really cool. I just think it's so helpful for like our listeners to hear that like it's possible to transform from being uncomfortable or fearful around sex to being like deeply comfortable like pursuing sexy things as a living, you know. And your story is not that different. So I was also a little
Bria Rose (18:41.034)
I mean, I'm also.
Heather Shannon (18:44.394)
relate to the first sexual debut and fearful around sex. So yeah.
Bria Rose (18:47.936)
Yeah.
It's just, it's so unfortunate that we, as women specifically, not men of course, because the more they have sex, more powerful and just, know, oh, macho man they are, but God forbid a woman has more than one to or 30 or however many partners, they're a whore, they're a slut, they're slanders. You know, I listened to this one woman, she is Canada, I always forget her name, Canada's best dating coach.
Heather Shannon (18:58.092)
No,
Heather Shannon (19:10.894)
Bye.
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (19:20.494)
Hmm.
Bria Rose (19:20.812)
I like to listen to her a lot because she has a debate topic where it's why body count doesn't matter for the people who practice logic and me, whatever she has a whole spiel listen, I've listened to it a lot of times. But men will try to come on saying no body count matters because they are valued less and they well does not say something about them. They have no impulse control. Okay, what's your body count?
Heather Shannon (19:32.541)
You
Yeah
Bria Rose (19:50.388)
I don't, know, like of course body count does not matter.
Heather Shannon (19:51.118)
People are making conscious choices. It doesn't always have to be impulsive. It could be conscious choices. Yeah.
Bria Rose (19:57.704)
Yeah, no. Yeah. So it's just a very silly. Really, it's a very silly topic to be a part. It should be.
Heather Shannon (20:04.202)
I mean, yeah, I couldn't agree more. Let's get into your books a little bit more. I want to talk about, yeah, I want to talk though about like, how you come up with the characters and the fantasies, because I think one of the areas people also get stuck with their sex life is they're kind of doing the same old things. And so I think like tapping into your sexual creativity is very important.
Bria Rose (20:11.178)
Yeah, I could talk about that all day.
Bria Rose (20:28.416)
Yes.
Bria Rose (20:32.584)
Yeah, I think it's just so the way that I write is whatever is it my brain goes on the computer. I just type it out. So I have to see the scene in my head in order to write it down. And in my book, you know, at first I have these characters all very one dimensional, all very angry. And then my editor came in. She's like, OK, let's switch it up a little bit. Now I love all my characters. You know, we have
Heather Shannon (20:39.299)
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (21:00.736)
So a little bit about my book. It is a dark romance. Why choose beauty and the beast retelling with a twist where Belle is the beast. Beast and Gaston are brothers who get trapped in her castle. Yeah. So very different. So Belle does not turn into a beast. It's her trauma. So it's very metaphorical and she acts beastly only really to people who cause her castle and the people inside of her castle harm.
Heather Shannon (21:13.272)
Interesting.
Bria Rose (21:30.166)
but she's really not a bad person. It's just, course, again, her trauma that kind of makes her act those ways. But then we have, so she has a plethora, plethora, plethora, plethora, plethora. She has one of those. She has plenty of different things that have traumatized her life. She was cursed to be alone and unloved forever. So she is technically immortal by someone who was very close to her.
Heather Shannon (21:43.254)
Yeah, plethora.
Bria Rose (21:59.404)
She lost her entire kingdom, you know, she was a princess and She lost everyone and pretty much one fell swoop, you know the people that she loved the most You know, she is a witch and so there was thing called war and witches that her dad You know was a part of and like kind of spearheaded. He had no idea his daughter was a witch, you know, so it's it was very So people reading this maybe they have you know really bad
almost said experiences about a relationship with their dads, maybe parents in general that might be able to relate to this. You know, someone who feels guilty, but also angry at whatever situation happened to them. know, so Klaithia, who is my belle, she is very complex. But characters of like Gaston and Beast. Gaston is the older brother of the Beast and I made him like a Sam and Dean situation. So he's actually shorter than his younger brother, which I...
Heather Shannon (22:33.227)
And then.
Hello!
Heather Shannon (22:41.87)
Thank
Bria Rose (22:57.356)
I love that he's stockier. So I took out the misogyny and I actually added him being a really good cook. Yeah, a little bit of feminine, especially in that era. I did set it in the 1700s. so back then men did not do that. So we do have some...
Heather Shannon (23:03.574)
Okay, love that.
Heather Shannon (23:11.264)
Okay.
Bria Rose (23:18.282)
commentary on like feminism a little bit and like what a woman's place is and she's like no woman's place is wherever the fuck she wants to be. That's wherever she wants, you know, like, you're good cook, then you're gonna cook, you know, just let's do whatever we need to do. So I took out the misogyny added him being a good cook. He's passionate, stubborn, pigheaded, competitive, doesn't want to say no, you know, he won't back down from a fight. He's a hunter, you know, so I have the
Heather Shannon (23:26.126)
Yeah!
Heather Shannon (23:32.343)
Right.
Heather Shannon (23:39.607)
Okay.
Bria Rose (23:46.43)
Really with my stories, I want to give you the essence of whatever fairy tale or whatever retelling in general the story that I'm retelling is and give you just the feel of it while of course making it my own and
Heather Shannon (24:00.963)
Right.
Bria Rose (24:01.002)
you know, when it kind of comes to more of like the sexual scenes, you know, some of them are fantasies. Some are things that I've seen. I'm like, I like that. That really could that dynamic could really work for this. You know, like, Clathe is very not that she's power hungry or, you know, she just likes to be in control when she had never really been able to be in control. And I have a new character, Callum.
Heather Shannon (24:19.138)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (24:29.068)
He is my little simp baby and he is the mother hen to pretty much everyone in the castle and he takes he's kind like the caretaker but he is her consort and so while she wants to be in control he doesn't care he allows it so their dynamic is really beautiful to where you know he even tells Bastien he's like she could tell me to cut off my dick and I would do it
She could tell me to kill myself and I, you know, like I love her. I owe my life to her. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (24:56.928)
my gosh.
Heather Shannon (25:02.306)
Yeah, OK.
the ideas though, because I think that's something that people listening maybe want more of. Like, you get inspiration from certain places? Is it all just kind of like easily in your head? You know, like, do you ever get writer's block? How do you deal with trying to get the creative juices flowing?
Bria Rose (25:15.715)
yeah.
Bria Rose (25:24.362)
Writers Block happens. It happened to me four months while writing Her Dark Promise. My goodness. But I think for me, what helps best with Writers Block is to talk it out. And ideas overall, I feel come from everywhere, from the media I consume, from right now, mainly it's animes. I love animes. So the character in one of my most recently written books.
Heather Shannon (25:35.117)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (25:41.08)
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Bria Rose (25:51.944)
I can't really talk about it too much because I did sign a contract with a publishing company, but he is he is based if anyone has seen it, Yakuza fiance. It is an anime. He is based on Kirishima, which is a main male character of Yakuza fiance where he is basically he. This guy is like a morally gray golden retriever with.
Heather Shannon (25:54.06)
Yeah. Yeah, Okay.
Heather Shannon (26:19.342)
Hmm.
Bria Rose (26:19.564)
like energy with ASPD. So for those who don't know, that's antisocial personality disorder. And he's, it's, he's a very, he was a very fun character to write, obsessive and compulsive. And, you know, it's very mafia vibes. And so that's who one of my characters is based off of. So I totally use animated books. I'll go on walks.
Heather Shannon (26:25.765)
that's.
Heather Shannon (26:35.406)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (26:44.308)
TV shows, like literally everything. Sometimes I get inspiration from people in my life. Like if someone dies, maybe, maybe it's somebody I knew, who knows? I can ethically and legally do that. So be careful, don't get my bad side.
Heather Shannon (26:50.381)
Really?
Heather Shannon (27:05.004)
Yeah, otherwise your character is gonna get killed off. That's so funny. But I think that's a really good point you're bringing up is like inspiration can come from anywhere. And I find that normally when people are feeling stuck in terms of like tapping into their own sexual creativity, their life is set up in such a way where it's like, I must do tasks and chores and work and, you know, all these like, more of the masculine action oriented instead of kind of the the feminine like creative incubator.
Bria Rose (27:08.011)
Yep.
Heather Shannon (27:33.807)
with spaciousness. So I think you're right, like the media you consume, maybe they read some dark romance stories. Maybe they listen to some podcasts, you know? Like you said, conversations, maybe they start talking to their partner or friends more about sex. There's so many wonderful websites where people can kind of get ideas too. But yeah, sometimes I think we expect ourselves to come up with
amazing creative sexy ideas like in a vacuum and that's just like not really how it works.
Bria Rose (28:08.786)
No, and I think that a lot of people do not value good communication. Their feelings get hurt. Everyone pretty much needs therapy. For me, I've waited to get into a relationship because I would rather wait for the right person than be stuck in a loveless, sexless... I'm the person... don't... Studies have shown women live longer single. They do not live longer married, but men do.
Heather Shannon (28:17.346)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (28:35.085)
Hmm?
Bria Rose (28:38.452)
You know, like they're literally sucking the life out of us. So I don't want to find a I want to a partner I don't I I look
Heather Shannon (28:38.606)
Correct.
Heather Shannon (28:42.286)
We have lots of male listeners. We're not saying that it's the ones listening to this podcast.
Bria Rose (28:48.004)
no, no, no, no, no. But that's partners in general. That's also goes for females. You know, like you can have a partner that will literally suck the life out of you. Yeah, I love men. But guys, I there's a huge distinction. Guys are like boys, they non communicative, not this, but men are ready to step up. They're ready to let their woman be in that feminine energy.
Heather Shannon (29:11.448)
The good distinction.
Bria Rose (29:13.524)
They want you to be creative and loving and really bring life into the home. That is who I'm looking for.
Heather Shannon (29:15.0)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (29:23.712)
no, I'm losing you again.
Bria Rose (29:27.148)
Can hear me?
Heather Shannon (29:29.742)
Are you there?
Bria Rose (29:34.156)
Can you hear me?
Heather Shannon (29:34.21)
I'm guessing your internet is changing again. now I hear you, you're OK. Now your video is unfreezing. OK. Did your internet switch again?
Bria Rose (29:38.902)
Give it a minute, just give it a second.
Bria Rose (29:43.51)
I don't know why we're doing this now. Come on. Almost done. We're so close.
Heather Shannon (29:45.709)
Wait a minute.
Sometimes it just happens.
Heather Shannon (29:53.165)
Yeah, we're getting close. Okay, I think we're back to being fine. So we were saying you're seeing the difference between men and boys. Now what's happening now?
Bria Rose (29:55.788)
All done.
I do.
Heather Shannon (30:06.728)
now she's gone. no.
Heather Shannon (30:55.744)
Ahem.
Heather Shannon (34:10.2)
I'm still here. just had to take my phone off the camera to look at your WhatsApp.
Bria Rose (34:15.779)
No, it's all good. It's wanting me to close the other link, but I'm not sure. Because last time I did that, it was having issues uploading. So I just, I don't know.
Heather Shannon (34:29.026)
I know.
you
Heather Shannon (34:35.515)
Also, I thought I was charging the computer and now it's saying low battery. I mean, I see you now. It's recording.
Heather Shannon (34:49.006)
It's very weird about the other tab. What percentage is the other tab at for upload?
Bria Rose (34:54.407)
It was at like 80 and then I opened the other tab and then it said then it started over. So now it's at 33, 34, 31.
Heather Shannon (35:06.766)
I mean, it's letting us record while that's uploading. So I feel like if it's not a nice view, fine. Let me just plug in my charging cable because something's wrong with it.
Bria Rose (35:10.084)
Okay.
Bria Rose (35:15.993)
Okay. Maybe I just said maybe to do.
Heather Shannon (35:36.119)
charging cable appears to be plugged in perfectly so I'm not sure why it's flashing low battery. Sometimes it just like takes a second. I see that it has power though. Okay. I know! Okay, so what were we talking about? I know we talked about like people coming up with creative ideas and then...
Bria Rose (35:50.769)
I was on a roll too.
Bria Rose (36:01.895)
I think you asked me how my characters, how I came up with the story, how...
Heather Shannon (36:03.213)
this
Heather Shannon (36:10.797)
Mm-hmm. OK, let's maybe we can move into maybe like talking to your partner about fantasies because that was something we had kind of mentioned too. Yeah.
Bria Rose (36:19.469)
like communication. I was talking about like men, you know, being providers and allowing women to be in their creativity because I, what my comment was a little hating on men, but it was just me personally. I want to wait to find my man in general, not someone who can't communicate.
Heather Shannon (36:25.426)
yeah.
Heather Shannon (36:37.388)
Okay, that's... Okay, we're still recording, so just say it how you want to say it.
Bria Rose (36:43.787)
Okay. Yeah. So for me personally, I think communication is really important because it allows you to be able to again, tell your partner exactly what you might be needing and you may not even be interested, you know, once you do it, maybe this is only a fantasy that you can really kind of play out in your mind in your books.
Heather Shannon (36:45.932)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (37:12.763)
But maybe it might be something you're interested. do know a lot of book talk girlies love when their man puts on a mask. You know, we love masked men or being chased, you know? So there's a lot of different ways you can kind of keep things, you know, fun and spicy and definitely try to have an identity. I feel like when people get into relationships, you kind of get a little comfortable and this goes both ways, you know? You get stuck in these roles and
Heather Shannon (37:19.918)
that's fun.
Heather Shannon (37:38.723)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (37:41.831)
whatever it is that you both have decided that your role in the relationship is. And, you know, especially when you add children in the mix, you know, it's things are going to change and you just have to be okay with that. Like the dynamics of everything is going to change. So as long as you have good communication, feelings don't get hurt and you say things with love, you know, it comes from like a loving space, then you should be fine to explore. But again, some people...
Heather Shannon (37:47.288)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (38:05.922)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (38:10.215)
I do believe we're raised with religious backgrounds. Some things, no, that's not okay. I would never want to do that because of X, Y, and Z. You just have to be very open to different possibilities and different things.
Heather Shannon (38:20.163)
Right.
Heather Shannon (38:26.07)
Yeah, I think that's a good point. think even people who identify as very progressive but still have a religion they identify with, can sometimes be hard. It can sneak in there in sneaky little ways where you're like, I didn't think I was supposed to try non-monogamy because that's not what I committed to or that.
is not what our agreement was. And it's less coming from a place of what is authentic to you. And even what does your partner want? Because you might otherwise be like, oh, actually, I do want to try that. I just feel like I'm not supposed to. Or I do want to try that my partner's on board, but there's this institution of religion, or there's this feeling that God won't like me anymore or whatever. And I personally don't think that's true.
totally support people to whatever religion they want. I think it's just like, is it, is the current belief working for you? I think is the question.
Bria Rose (39:19.495)
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (39:25.969)
I also think that a lot of people find who they are in their relationships and marriages because they might be a little, maybe they suppressed it for so long and then finally they're can't suppress this anymore and I am now with a partner who is vanilla and I don't want vanilla. I try to communicate I don't want vanilla but that's all they want is vanilla. So I do feel like.
Heather Shannon (39:33.848)
Really good point. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (39:45.71)
Mm-hmm.
Heather Shannon (39:50.723)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (39:51.783)
people don't choose the right partners. They get scared and they want to be in relationships because they don't want to be alone. And so they get into relationships that are not good for them. They're not compatible and sex, a lot of people like, Oh, I'm going to wait till marriage. Sure. I don't think that's the right choice. I, know, it's you.
Heather Shannon (40:14.19)
Everyone's different though, and I think for some people it's aligned, for some people it's not. And I just look at what's the why behind it. And then I also see when people do wait towards marriage, there's just more work that probably needs to be done on your sex life if you're gonna wait till marriage. Like don't expect it to be fantastic automatically. You know?
Bria Rose (40:18.736)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (40:31.631)
No, no, it's going to be awkward and it's going to be like your, you know, it's, it's sex compatibility is huge. I do know, I did read a story, where a guy's like, no, no, no, no sex before marriage. Turns out his, his penis was really, really, really small. And that's why he didn't want to have sex before marriage. So I'm just saying there are certain conversations. I should see your body. Let me, let me see, let me be open. Let me, and you know, of course it's going to depend on everybody, but
Heather Shannon (41:01.516)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (41:01.647)
Really, people need to realize that sex compatibility is just as important, not most important, but it is just as important than emotional compatibility, even intimacy without sex, like the whole hand holding and cuddling and physical touch. All those are so being compatible with that. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (41:22.112)
Yeah. All important. Yeah. They can change a lot too. I think what's interesting is when people get together, especially, know, I see a lot of couples that have been together like 10 plus years, sometimes 30 plus years. And sometimes when they started, they were compatible, right? But then they go on this journey of like self exploration, kind of like even how you and I said, it's like,
Bria Rose (41:30.31)
Yes.
Bria Rose (41:42.598)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (41:48.567)
our early 20s versus now, very different, right? And so, yeah, what we need. So it's like working through that within a relationship is really such a growth journey. you're never gonna line up 100 % with someone. But I think, is it enough and can you find the common ground even if one or both of you does kind of evolve? It's challenging. Yeah.
Bria Rose (42:03.057)
No.
Bria Rose (42:11.847)
That's, we are always going to evolve as human beings living this shared experience. And I truly do now see and believe that people really shouldn't be getting into relationships so young because you're finding yourself. I don't want to get too much into it, but you know, we evolve and we have to be okay with that.
Heather Shannon (42:28.557)
Mm-mm.
should I lose you again? no.
Bria Rose (42:40.487)
Son of a bitch.
Bria Rose (42:45.447)
don't know why my computer is doing this. It does not do this.
Bria Rose (43:04.571)
Can, I'm so sorry. I don't, my computer does this sometimes. It doesn't happen all the time.
Heather Shannon (43:04.622)
Okay, are you back again? I'm guessing this doesn't normally happen. Okay. Yeah, okay. It's fine, we'll just keep going. I'm just writing down the parts I need to cut out. wait, now your video's gone. my gosh, for fuck's sake. Okay.
Heather Shannon (44:01.634)
Okay, all right, better? That's okay.
Bria Rose (44:03.342)
I'm so sorry, my computer's never done this before. It's, don't.
I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I'm having such a nice time talking as well. I don't
Heather Shannon (44:10.942)
Okay, let's just try to wrap it up quickly. This happened to me before too, it just happens sometimes. Okay, so what were we talking about that time? I have such a bad ADHD too.
Bria Rose (44:31.078)
I was saying communication. I was just explained like everyone can do their own thing. But I, know, because we evolve so much. I don't think so because you're finding yourself in a lot of reason why people leave is like, well, I feel like I didn't get to experience life. You know?
Heather Shannon (44:35.164)
yeah.
Heather Shannon (44:38.626)
Yeah. Music people shouldn't get mad at you. Yes. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (44:47.266)
Yeah. You know, and I get a lot of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s who are kind of like, yeah, maybe we got together really young, and then we realized we want to kind of open things up because we never got to have certain experiences. And then they're trying to figure out how to do that and how to navigate that without jeopardizing the relationship too much. But the research supports what you're saying, that if people get married before 25, for example, they have a much higher divorce rate than people who wait till they're
frontal lobes are fully developed, you know? So.
Bria Rose (45:19.672)
finding their vetting vet that person, you know, there's community. It's just the whole it's a whole thing. So I really try to create characters that, you know, are both going to compliment each other, but also for the purposes of growth, not, you know, really mesh well together and creating these characters that I would like to possibly be with, you know, the type of man I want like Gaston, well, he's key.
Heather Shannon (45:26.573)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (45:33.358)
Yeah.
Bria Rose (45:49.314)
doesn't mind cooking, he doesn't mind providing and doesn't, there's just a lot of really amazing qualities.
Heather Shannon (45:51.246)
Yeah.
Heather Shannon (45:57.903)
It's almost like a form of manifesting where it's like you get to create these characters that are like drawing in some elements that you like. I like that idea. It's like there's so much of what you've shared. It's like showing the therapeutic elements of this, you know, and like what can actually be not just exciting and titillating, but also healing. You can have both.
Bria Rose (46:03.416)
Yes.
Bria Rose (46:06.955)
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (46:18.656)
you can totally have both. And that's really what the story is about. It's it's it is a sexy book, but it's also about a girl's journey from being naive and trusting too much and, you know, giving herself to her family, her country, you know, leaving nothing for her to getting this really, really long journey of self discovery back to self love and accepting her.
for exactly who she is now and understanding that she will never be able to go back to being that girl, that princess that she once was, but that is okay. You know, they love her. Like, there's a part in my book where she says, you know, like, I'm never gonna be that girl again. I think that's the girl, I think that girl was made for you, but I'm never gonna be her. You know, I'm too angry, I'm too this, I'm too that.
Heather Shannon (47:00.044)
Yeah
Bria Rose (47:17.388)
I'm just not and he's like, but we didn't fall in love with that girl. fell in love with you. So I'm not sure what you're talking about because you're perfect for us and it is why choose. So why choose means is like a reverse harem. So she gets everybody. So she has three men. I'm it is a lot of fun. I swear. You know, so and you know, it's it's really they do not. I feel like a lot of stories
Heather Shannon (47:31.534)
And that sounds fine.
Bria Rose (47:47.232)
especially with like couples, that person makes that person be better. No, it's her journey. They're just supporting actors in her story of self-love through their conversations, through their experiences and, you know, their experience through a whole bunch of different things. I don't want to spoil too much, but.
Heather Shannon (47:51.694)
Mm.
Heather Shannon (47:55.618)
Hmm.
Heather Shannon (48:08.11)
Yeah, like those smiles. Well, if people are curious though, where can they find your book and how can they work with you? Oh, that's cool cover too. Oh, beautiful.
Bria Rose (48:13.055)
Yeah, here's my book.
and this is my special edition cover.
Heather Shannon (48:21.24)
wow, first one was pretty nice too. I love the print on the edges. That seems to be like a new trend and very into that. Yeah, it's pretty.
Bria Rose (48:23.755)
Yeah, the first one's amazing.
Bria Rose (48:30.091)
Yeah, this is actually hand stamped by my friend, a local artist. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well.
Heather Shannon (48:34.574)
wow, that's so cool. We'll definitely link to your books too. But yeah, where can people find them?
Bria Rose (48:42.049)
guess. So I've branded myself really well and everything is under author Bria Rose. So B-R-I-A-R-O-S-E that's at gmail.com that's TikTok, Instagram, I'm in Goodreads. Yeah.
Heather Shannon (48:58.798)
Okay, awesome three rows, love it. So yeah, go connect with Bria everyone. Obviously, she's creating some pretty cool, sexy stuff out there. And coaching other authors, if anyone else is looking to get into this.
Bria Rose (49:01.517)
Mm-hmm.
Bria Rose (49:09.526)
I'm all-
Bria Rose (49:13.52)
Yes. Writing spicy, helping you with writing spicy or just your journey overall. The thing that people can look forward to the most is I am definitely writing a spicy Pinocchio retelling. everyone needs to be ready for that. I'm very excited.
Heather Shannon (49:27.374)
That sounds so fun.
I do love that you're like redoing the classic fairy tales. That's like needed just in general. So I love that. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here and sharing all the amazingness with us. And thank you everybody for listening. So we'll catch you next week with another episode of Ask a Sex Therapist. Bye everybody.
Bria Rose (49:38.293)
it's so needed.