Wendy Green:

Hello and welcome to the Hey Boomer Show, the show where we believe that we are never too

Wendy Green:

old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

Wendy Green:

My name is Wendy Green and I am your host for Hey, Boomer.

Wendy Green:

Today, we're going to talk about a documentary called Lives Well Lived.

Wendy Green:

And we're going to talk about what makes a well-lived life.

Wendy Green:

My guest today, Skye Bergmann, captured stories of older adults living full and

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meaningful lives in their later years.

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Their stories are about perseverance, the human spirit, and staying positive during

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great personal and historic challenges.

Wendy Green:

Sky's inspiration, original inspiration for the documentary was her grandmother.

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Who turned 103 and traveled out to California for the opening of lives well

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lived. And I started to think about who some of my inspiration has come from.

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And it's no doubt that it has come from both of my parents.

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My father, he lived full out until he was not able to anymore.

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But even as he was nearing the end of his life, he was working on a play about Irving

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Berlin, which my mother actually continued to work on and finished and produced at the

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retirement home where they live.

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So he certainly was an inspiration to me and my mother, who got her PhD in her sixties.

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She was active in the League of Women Voters and AAUW in Rotary, and she ran an

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Alzheimer's support group.

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And it's only in the past few years that she has slowed down really since the pandemic.

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So I have been definitely inspired with the work I'm doing with Hey Boomer, by both of my

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parents, as Skye was inspired by her grandmother.

Wendy Green:

But before I bring her on, I wanted to talk to you about one of our sponsors.

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Her name is Christine Baumgartner.

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And Christine is a relationship coach.

Wendy Green:

In fact, Christine is my coach for working on how to date at this new stage of life.

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She also works with people who are in relationships who have, you know, gotten into

Wendy Green:

a relationship in this second or third act of life.

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And some of the challenges that we bring with the baggage that we bring into those

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relationships. And she I have to say, Christine, has been very helpful to me.

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And you can check her out.

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Her website is called the Perfect catch dot com.

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And the first thing you have to do is learn about yourself.

Wendy Green:

So check out Christine at the perfect Match.com.

Wendy Green:

I also have a question for you.

Wendy Green:

Do you know what is next on your life's journey?

Wendy Green:

My What's next coaching program will guide you through the transition process from

Wendy Green:

retirement or the end of whatever career you have been into, whatever is next and right

Wendy Green:

for you. And we all, as you know, need help now and then.

Wendy Green:

So I just wanted to tell you what a couple of people have said about the program.

Wendy Green:

One person said, instead of anxiety, I'm looking forward to easing out of my lifelong

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career in technology.

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Hanging up my frequent flyer guest and renter status and do work I want to do when I

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want to do it. Another set.

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I was able to look within myself and understand what is really important to me as

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I make this transition.

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What will fulfill me after my time in the workplace is complete and the baby steps

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needed to achieve retirement success.

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She very kindly says, I highly recommend Wendy and the What's Next workshop.

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So if you're curious about what's next for you.

Wendy Green:

Drop me an email at Wendi at Hey Boomer Biz, and let's set up 20 minutes to have a little

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complimentary conversation.

Wendy Green:

Talk about where you're at, where you want to be, and figure out what might be next for

Wendy Green:

you. That's Wendy at.

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Hey Boomer is.

Wendy Green:

So Sky Bergman is an accomplished, award winning photographer and lives well lived

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with Skye's directorial debut in the film making industry.

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Skye is a professor emeritus of photography and video at Cal Poly State University in San

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Luis Obispo, California.

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She has two short films about intergenerational connections currently on

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the film festival circuit, and she's working on a feature length film that is a

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celebration of love.

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Sky was recently named a CO Generate Innovation fellow, joining an impressive

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group of 14 other social entrepreneurs with code generational solutions to some of

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today's biggest problems.

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These 15 inspiring social entrepreneurs bring older and younger people together to

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address racial inequality, climate change, social, social isolation and more.

Wendy Green:

Sky is fascinating.

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Wonderful. I'm excited to bring her to you.

Wendy Green:

So let's bring her on right now.

Wendy Green:

Hi, Sky.

Sky Bergman:

Hi. How are you doing, Wendy?

Wendy Green:

I'm doing great.

Wendy Green:

I'm so appreciative to have you on the show today.

Sky Bergman:

Oh, it's my pleasure to be here.

Sky Bergman:

Thanks so much for inviting me.

Wendy Green:

Yeah. So I mentioned your grandmother.

Wendy Green:

Tell me a little bit about how she inspired you and how this all got started with lives

Wendy Green:

well-lived.

Sky Bergman:

Sure. So I should say that I've never done any filmmaking before this film.

Sky Bergman:

I my grandmother, when I was she was 96.

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She came out to visit me for the first time from Florida.

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And I live in California.

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And for the next four years, she spent the month of August with me, which if you've ever

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been in Florida in August, it's a good time to get out and be in California.

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And she was an amazing cook.

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And like any other amazing cook, they never write recipes down.

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My grandmother is no exception.

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And I realized that we would go to the farmer's market on Thursday and Friday.

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We would be cooking all day, and I really wanted to capture her cooking and capture

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those recipes more than just writing them down.

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I wanted to hear her voice and she would say, It's a pinch of that and a handful of

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this, and I really wanted to see that.

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And so I started my first foray into doing any video work, which was to capture my

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grandmother cooking in the kitchen.

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That was what bonded us and brought us together when I was from the time that I was

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a young kid. And so we did this series of cooking videos called Cucina Nonna, which

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means Grandma's Kitchen and Italian.

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And it was just so, so wonderful to do that with my grandmother.

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I'm so glad that I have that as a record for myself and my family and other people to take

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a look at. And when she was getting ready to turn 100, I went back with her to Florida and

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she was still working out at the gym.

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She started working out when she was 80, so it's never too late to start something new,

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including working out at the gym.

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But I thought I better film her because nobody's going to believe that at almost 100,

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she's still working out at the gym.

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And I asked her for a few words.

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I said, Grandma, can you give me a few words of wisdom?

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And she said, Oh, words of wisdom.

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Be kind and live life to the limits.

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And I thought, wow, this is she's such a role model for me.

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And I was looking at approaching 50, which is a big mark, I think, in people's lives

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when they approach that half century mark.

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And I was looking around at the media and not seeing any positive role models of aging,

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and this was ten years ago.

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So at that time all you saw really were the very depressing movies about aging or in the

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advertising world.

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What you saw were all the anti aging creams and everything that you could do to stop the

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aging process. But let's face it, the one thing we all have in common, if we're lucky,

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is that we age every day.

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Otherwise we are not alive anymore.

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And so we really I really wanted to highlight from myself, really, it started as

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a very personal journey.

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I wanted to find other people out there, like my grandmother, who were living very

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full and meaningful lives because I wanted to find those role models that I just wasn't

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seeing in the media.

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And so I spent the next four years interviewing 40 people with a collective life

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experience of 3000 years and asking them all the same set of questions and really putting

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all devices away and really just intently listening for four years.

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And what a what a gift that was.

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And as a result of that, I was able to put together this film, lives well lived, which

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is unbelievably to me is now airing on PBS.

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I mean, my first film and it did well in theaters and now we're on PBS and just what a

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dream come true. And it all started from a love of my grandmother.

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It's a great film.

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As I was telling you before we came on, I was watching it again this weekend because I

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just wanted to refresh and there's so many wonderful lessons in there.

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And you start the film by asking them what is a life well lived?

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What kind of answers?

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What did you learn from that question?

Sky Bergman:

No. Well, one of my favorite answers was that it was from Barbara Dreyfuss.

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And she says, Life plays with you, doesn't it?

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And I suppose then you have to allow for that.

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Being flexible, being, having your your attitude is, I think, one of the most

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important things in how you live your life.

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I think also just being kind and and living in the moment, I think those are things that

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are part of a life well lived is is really learning to really treasure each and every

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moment. And when we reflect back on our lives, it's not the sometimes times the big

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events, but the little things that are really meaningful to people.

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And so I think remembering that on a day to day basis that sometimes you can do something

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very, very small but can seem very monumental to somebody else when you're being

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kind. I think it's just, you know, my grandmother had a motto to always be kind.

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And I think that that's the biggest piece of advice of how to live a well lived life is

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just to be kind.

Wendy Green:

Yeah, be kind and be present in the moment.

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That is that was interesting to me that that came out with several of the people in the

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show and mindfulness.

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We didn't talk about mindfulness back in their generation.

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They're mostly the greater greatest generation.

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So that was really interesting to me that they're recognizing the importance of that to

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be present.

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So I really enjoyed that.

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So you had never done a film before.

Wendy Green:

What was that learning process like?

Sky Bergman:

Well, we have a motto here at the university that I teach at.

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I teach at Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, California, and the motto is learn.

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By doing so, we expect that our students are going to learn by doing.

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And I would say that I was living that motto as I was creating the film.

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You know, I've always lived my life saying instead of saying why, I say why not?

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And I always try and have my decisions based on curiosity over fear.

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And so I think that that was really important, that I follow my passion, even

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when it may seem like a strange road to take if I follow my passion, it has never led me

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in the wrong direction. And so I just knew that I had to do this.

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I didn't know I was going to be making a film.

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When I started this process, I thought I was going to be doing a web series and just a

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series of interviews. I just knew that it was something that I had to do for myself.

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And as I got deeper into it, I realized that I really needed to make a feature film.

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It's probably good that I didn't know what I was getting myself in for at the very

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beginning, but I think if you put one step in front of the next, one foot in front of

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the next, and you can take something that's very monumental and break it down into

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smaller tasks and you get one task done after the next, and then you get to this big

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goal. And that was pretty much what I did.

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I also was lucky enough that I was able to hire people to help me with things that I

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didn't know how to do. And I also think that I am one of those people.

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If I don't know how to do something, I am not afraid to show.

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I don't know how to do it. I'm not afraid to ask for help.

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And so I reached out to in the very beginning to other filmmakers and ask them a

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lot of questions. I said, How did you do this and what advice can you give me?

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And I'm always looking for advice on how to do something better and to surround myself

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with people that are doing what I want to be doing, but already doing it and doing it

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better so that I can rise to the occasion and do what they're doing.

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I also, at the time that I started working on the film, Apple had this plan where you

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could get one on one help from people at the Apple store.

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And so I that's what I did.

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There were three guys at the Apple Store who I call my Apple gurus, and I had no they knew

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about video backwards and forwards.

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They got a kick out of me coming in and asking lots of questions, and I was in there

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as much as I could be to learn from them.

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I was like a sponge, learning from them, learning the verbiage.

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I don't even know how to Google to ask the right question because I didn't even know the

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terminology. And you know, again, being willing to say to somebody, I have no idea,

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but this is what I want to do, Can you help me get there?

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And they were instrumental in helping me get to the place where I now understand the

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language of filmmaking and and was able to do it.

Wendy Green:

Yeah, I. I totally understand that.

Wendy Green:

When I started making this podcast, I was listening to all of the the talk from the

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podcasters and I had no idea what they were talking about.

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So it is it's a learning process, but if you're not afraid or even if you are a little

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afraid and you still do it afraid, but you ask questions and you figure out how to get

Wendy Green:

the help. I think that and you said the passion.

Wendy Green:

You have to have the passion.

Sky Bergman:

Yeah, Yeah.

Sky Bergman:

Look, you know, I was not a good interviewer when I started.

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And I look back at my initial interviews and I think, oh my goodness, I just I had this

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list of questions that I had spent like four months working on.

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I, I realized, look, I work at a university and I took out people that worked in the

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social sciences department.

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I took them out for lunch and I said, I'm working on this project.

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What are the questions I should be asking?

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Here's what I'm looking at.

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What would you add to this list?

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And so I really worked on refining those questions.

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But I remember the first couple of interviews that I did, I just felt like I had

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to go down the list of questions and I wasn't asking the follow up questions.

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And thankfully, the people that I interviewed let me go back and redo the

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interviews many times.

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But, you know, you learn you learn by doing learn.

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It's like anything else.

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You practice and doing an interview.

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The more practice you have, the better you get at it.

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I'm sure the same is true for you.

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Your first couple of podcasts probably didn't go as smoothly as the ones now, and I

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think it's just, you know, you learn as you go.

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And and certainly I think being open to that and open to recognizing that if you get some

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feedback sometimes from people, that's really helpful to maybe improve and do a

Sky Bergman:

better job the next time.

Wendy Green:

Absolutely. Yeah.

Wendy Green:

So, so now you are a filmmaker and you've got two more films out in the in the circuit.

Wendy Green:

Can you tell me about them?

Sky Bergman:

Yeah, sure. So the one film is called Forever Voters, and it came about because I was

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trying to find a time to go to lunch with one of the people that's in Lives We Lived,

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one of the film stars and lives well lived.

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Her name is Evie Johnson, and she was saying how busy she was and she's running from

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hither and yon. And I said, Well, what are you doing?

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She said, Well, I'm part of the League of Women Voters, and we're going into high

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schools and we're talking to the high school seniors about the importance of voting and

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why their vote really matters.

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And we're encouraging those students to register or pre register to vote.

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In California, you can pre register if you're 16 and above.

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And I was so inspired by that because in the lives we all live film, my grandmother talks

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about having been born at a time when women didn't have the right to vote and she

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remembered women marching to get the right to vote.

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And so in our household, voting was really a privilege that you didn't take for granted.

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And so she and my grandfather used to work the polls every year when I was a kid.

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I remember that vividly.

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And so when I heard about this initiative that the League of Women Voters was doing, I

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was so inspired that by the end of the week, I was in the classroom filming that process

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and also filming the students talking about what they wanted to vote about.

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Because I think there is a real misperception that that age group doesn't

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care, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

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And I think that there are some issues that are very important to them and they really

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just you could see them light up when this group of of older men and women came into the

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classroom and really took them seriously and told them, you know, your voice matters and

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we want you to be able to vote.

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We care that your vote matters.

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And for many of them, it was the first time that somebody other than a parent or a

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teacher had talked to them about voting and the importance of voting and really that they

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were talked to as an adult in that way.

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And it's really it was such a magical moment to see that.

Sky Bergman:

So that's one film, and I'm still working on that project in terms.

Wendy Green:

Of so let me just repeat the name of that forever.

Wendy Green:

Voters, you can look at it, it's on the web.

Wendy Green:

There's a website forever voters dot com, right?

Sky Bergman:

Correct. Yes.

Wendy Green:

And and and I did forward it to our local league here because I thought it was such a

Wendy Green:

great idea.

Sky Bergman:

Yeah. So we're we're trying to grow that from a very local campaign here in San Luis Obispo

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to a national campaign.

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And so that was one film that I worked on and it's been in the film festival circuit,

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which is great because it's getting the word out about that project and about what we can

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do to help encourage young voters to register to vote.

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And we don't just want them to register to vote.

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We really want them to become lifetime voters.

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And one of the things that I read when I was doing the research for the film is that if

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someone votes in three out of their first four elections that are more likely to become

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a lifetime voter.

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So it's really important to get those young students out there voting and understanding

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that their voice and their vote really matters.

Sky Bergman:

So that was one film that I've.

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Worked on. On the other film, which I've done a five minute short, which has been in

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film festivals and won awards throughout the country, is called Mochizuki, and it is the

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Japanese tradition of making mochi to bring in the New Year.

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And that also came about because of Somebody in My Lives will live film Suzy Ito Bauman,

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who, for those of you that haven't seen the film, she was incarcerated during World War

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Two because she was part of the Japanese-American internment.

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And we talk about that in the Lives Will Live film.

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But she was also talking to me about this Mochizuki ceremony.

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And I said to her, Well, okay, tell me more.

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And it was it's such a beautiful ceremony.

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And it was happening a couple of weeks after I interviewed her.

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And she invited me to come and I was just hooked.

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It's a beautiful ceremony that brings generations together.

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Sort of like I came together with my grandmother in the kitchen.

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I love this idea of passing down tradition and love and recipes and wisdom through food,

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through that connection, through food.

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And the ceremony that I went to, there were over 150 people that come from up and down

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the West Coast. And you take this very particular rice and you cook it up and then

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they pound it to make these mochi balls.

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And it's a beautiful ceremony.

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And that's going to be on the extended version of that film will be on PBS in May of

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2024.

Wendy Green:

So and how do you spell that?

Sky Bergman:

Sky Mochi Mochizuki is m0chitsuki.

Sky Bergman:

It's a long word, but it just means.

Wendy Green:

So it is one word m0chit.

Sky Bergman:

Sue k i.

Sky Bergman:

I've seen it spelled as two words and I've seen it spelled as one word because it's a

Sky Bergman:

Japanese word. So I think it depends on who's translating it, right.

Wendy Green:

Yeah. So.

Wendy Green:

Yeah. So and I've seen the I've seen the trailers for both of those, the voters one

Wendy Green:

and the Mochizuki one.

Wendy Green:

So yeah, very, very good.

Wendy Green:

So you've also now been nominated to do some work with co generate and and I think if I

Wendy Green:

understood you took this film the lives well lived which you all have to see I'm telling

Wendy Green:

you everybody who's listening now, you've got to see lives well lived.

Wendy Green:

You can see it on PBS.

Wendy Green:

You can buy it on Amazon on on the website, Lives well lived.

Wendy Green:

You can see ways to watch it, but.

Wendy Green:

Um. Somehow you were working with an intern or I think who kind of got you thinking about

Wendy Green:

how to bring this to younger generations.

Wendy Green:

Is that right?

Sky Bergman:

Well, I can I can tell you a little bit about that.

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I had a student that I was working with because any time I did an interview, I tried

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to bring a student with me so that they could learn about the process.

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And I had a student whose name was James, and he went on the interview with me for

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Lucky Louie, who for those of you again that haven't seen the film, he's hilarious.

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He's just a really one of my favorites.

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And we've finished that interview.

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And James and I went out to lunch and James said to me, Wow, I never knew that older

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people could talk so much.

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And I haven't grown up in a very intergenerational household.

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I had four generations when I grew up.

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My great grandmother was still alive until I was 19 and lived with my grandparents and I

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lived with my grandparents. So we had four generations in the house.

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I knew that older people could talk a lot and had lots of conversations with older

Sky Bergman:

adults, including my grandparents, my great grandmother, my grandparents friends.

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So I was kind of taken aback by that.

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And I said to him, Well, don't you have an older adult in your life?

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And he said, Yeah, I have a grandfather, but we don't really talk that much.

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And and it just so happened that it was right before Thanksgiving weekend.

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And I said to him, I want you to take this list of questions that we just asked like

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Louie. And your homework is to take these questions and ask like Louie these questions,

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or ask your grandfather these questions we just asked Lucky Louie.

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And he came back from that trip and he was just beaming from ear to ear because, you

Sky Bergman:

know, I think he wanted to get to know his grandfather better and his grandfather really

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wanted to know him better, but they just didn't know how to start the conversation.

Sky Bergman:

And I think that that's super important to figure out where that entree is.

Sky Bergman:

And on our website, there's a place where you can share your stories or you can

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download the questions that I asked.

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And I would say, you know, the biggest regret that people had who were that I asked

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in the film was not asking a question of somebody that had passed away.

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So don't let that happen to you.

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Use those questions.

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Use me as an excuse to ask these questions and have this dialogue.

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So that was my first experience of realizing, wow, you know, there is something

Sky Bergman:

here in terms of connecting generations and how we can do that, because certainly I was

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doing that as I was connecting with all the people that I interviewed for the film.

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And and then I had an experience where the film was released in theaters, and there was

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a student that went to go see the film who was in a class here at Cal Poly called The

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Psychology of Aging.

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And she reported back to her teacher, Professor Sarah Bartlett, and said, Oh my

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God, I saw this film and you should see it.

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And the professor went to see it and then realized that we both worked at the same

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university and reached out to me and said, Wow, I would love to meet with you and let's

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figure something out. And so we came up with a program that we work with, and now it's

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running with high schools and colleges across the country.

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But I've been documenting this one here where we show the film to older adults and to

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students, and then the students and older adults use the questions that I had

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formulated to get to know each other.

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They spend three or four sessions that they meet with on their own doing that.

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And then there's a big wrap party at the end.

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And it's really a lovely program because it's, you know, it's connecting generations

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and breaking down those stereotypes about ageism, one story and one connection at a

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time. And let's face it, ageism is in both directions.

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You know, we as older adults, many of us have stereotypes about younger people and

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vice versa. And so the more that we can do to connect people from other generations

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together, the better off that we will be.

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We really need that.

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Our world needs healing and we really need to do a lot of connecting people so that we

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don't have the other, that we are all an age diverse society living together rather than

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saying You're from that generation, so I'm not going to talk to you thinking, Wow, I had

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this really great interaction with somebody from that other generation.

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And now I have the friend from another generation and now I'm more open to seeking

Sky Bergman:

out friendships of all ages.

Wendy Green:

Yeah, and there's a lot more work that's starting to go on in that direction.

Wendy Green:

So I'm excited. About what?

Wendy Green:

Yeah, I'm excited about what you're doing with intergenerational work.

Wendy Green:

Are you finding that people are recognizing similarities mean what are some of the

Wendy Green:

learnings you're seeing?

Sky Bergman:

Yeah, I think the biggest takeaway that I have heard is the students and the older

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adults realize that they have far more in common than differences and that really the

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only big difference is their age.

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And I think the students, even more so than the older adults, are kind of blown away by

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that because they realize that the older adults are going through.

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A lot of the same have already gone through a lot of the same things that they're going

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through now. I think one of the the joys and one of the reasons that the program works so

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well is that showing the lives will live film first.

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We in the film, there's a lot of first hand accounts of things that happened and you see

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people at a younger age.

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And so the students start relating to that in a very different way and seeing older

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adults as having had this whole life history and they can start realizing, okay, they were

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my age at one point as well.

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And so there there creates a bond that there wasn't there before.

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And so I think it's really about noticing the similarities over the differences.

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And it's so wonderful to see that we work with Senior Planet, which is part of AARP

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when we do it virtually, which we're doing this quarter and we did during the pandemic.

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And I will never forget there was one young student who came on and said that this

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through this project, it was the first new friend that they had made during the

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pandemic. And I thought, what a great gift it was during the pandemic that they were

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able to make a new friend who is an older adult.

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Because I think that if you looked at what was going on during the pandemic, the two

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groups of people that were really suffering the most, that were having the most

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loneliness were older adults and students.

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And so to bring those two groups together was was really quite a gift.

Wendy Green:

Well, I think it's also, like you said, you know, they recognize that there are less

Wendy Green:

differences. But I think it's also learning the history.

Wendy Green:

You know, like if they spoke to somebody like your grandmother, they learn about the

Wendy Green:

women's suffrage movement or they speak to somebody that was in the Japanese internment

Wendy Green:

camp. In return, we're learning about what some of their struggles are having faced the

Wendy Green:

pandemic or I guess 9/11.

Wendy Green:

They're probably a little older now.

Wendy Green:

But, you know, there have been certainly struggles that they've faced.

Wendy Green:

And I think trying to understand each other's history probably helps build those

Wendy Green:

bonds as well.

Sky Bergman:

Absolutely. And, you know, I'm I'm reminded of when I was doing the filming for the

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Forever Voters film, I actually had a very unique experience in that I was at a high

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school and the principal came on and said, We're getting a lot of phone calls from

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parents today that something's you know, there's some chatter that something's going

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to happen in the school today.

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Nothing's going to happen.

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Please stop spreading those rumors.

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And that was a bit odd.

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And then we went back to what we were doing.

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That was a Friday. There was a big football day.

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We went to a big there was a big football rally.

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And then when we came back, there was a fire alarm that went off and the students didn't

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move because they didn't know, Is this a fire alarm or is somebody pulling the fire

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alarm and there's going to be a school shooting?

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And that is just something that I never faced in my lifetime at school.

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And so I think it's really easy to say as older adults, oh, well, the younger

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generation, they're not dealing with this and they're dealing with very different

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things.

Wendy Green:

And very different things.

Sky Bergman:

Climate change and school shootings.

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And, you know, there's so many different issues that are on the table for them.

Sky Bergman:

And it really hit home for me on that day.

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And in fact, there actually was a fire and we had to get out of the building.

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But it was that pause that that very long pause where the students just didn't know

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what to do, that I found incredibly compelling.

Sky Bergman:

And it really brought home the differences of what they have to face in today's world.

Wendy Green:

Yeah, it's it's amazing.

Wendy Green:

And when some of the research I did, I was expecting gun violence or climate change to

Wendy Green:

be like the number one issue these kids are facing.

Wendy Green:

But mental health because of all of these things coming together is yeah, it's pretty,

Wendy Green:

pretty remarkable.

Wendy Green:

So I appreciate the work that you're doing from some of the people in the film.

Wendy Green:

Tell me about some that have really inspired you.

Sky Bergman:

Oh, you know, I'd like to say that my grandmother left me the greatest gift, which

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is 40 new grandparents, because I just feel like I have these wonderful, wonderful people

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that I can call on.

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And some of them have passed away.

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But, you know, I had lunch with Evie earlier this week.

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I'm having dinner with Paul Wolfe next week.

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You I just I feel very close to all these people.

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And I forever am thinking about their words of wisdom.

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And I think that especially during the pandemic, when you hear their stories, they

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are really stories of getting through difficult times and and really of resilience.

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And I think that there are times in our lives where we all have a bad day.

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But I think of some of their stories and it puts it into perspective and for me at least,

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and it gives me a really a nice attitude adjustment and a big shift in my day.

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And I think that for me, one of the most impactful people that I interviewed, I mean,

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I love. All but one of the most impactful things that I learned was when Justice and

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talked about she read the book Men Search for Meaning by Victor Frank, and she talked

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about her takeaway from it was that there are many times in your life that you cannot

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control the things that are happening around you, but what you can control is your

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attitude about how you deal with those things.

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And for me, that is a really good reminder.

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And there are days when I know I need to give myself an attitude adjustment.

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And it's really because of listening to Evy, because I then read Viktor Frankl's Man's

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Search for Meaning. I mean, all those things just it opened me up to different ideas.

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And I also think Blanche Brown really reiterated kind of living more in the moment.

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And I think that when we at least for me, when I was younger, I was so caught up in

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doing my job and everything.

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You know, sometimes you forget about just taking a moment to pause and really

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appreciating where you're at at that moment.

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And I think that I do that more consciously now that I really try to slow down and

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prioritize having that moment to just enjoy.

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And I go for a walk every day and I, I religiously carve out that time because

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that's my time to just enjoy the moment and to really enjoy the day.

Wendy Green:

Well, you need that sky.

Wendy Green:

I mean, you are doing so many things and you don't have much of a staff, is that right?

Sky Bergman:

That is correct. I have a couple things who are wonderful, who are working as insurance

Sky Bergman:

for me. I did, though I will say that I had some really good people working for me on the

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film and to give them credit, I had two friends of mine who decided that their titles

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were associate producer Katherine Trujillo and Gale Force, and they were like My rocks.

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When I was working through this, I did have an editor, Randy Barrows, and I think you

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need to to find good people to help you out.

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I'm also really lucky to have a very good supportive partner who he is right there with

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me, making sure that I'm doing okay.

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And I think that he's okay being in the background.

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But everyone needs to have that supportive group in their lives, whether it's a partner

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or friends or I think that's really important.

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And, you know, I think that the other thing that I learned from the film is that there

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were really three things that people had in common.

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One was having a good support system, whether it was friends and family.

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That's what made me think of it.

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And the other was this attitude adjustment that we talked about, you know, seeing life

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as a glass half full rather than half empty.

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And then third, which I think is really interesting, is everyone in the film had a

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sense of purpose and also realizing that that sense of purpose could change over time.

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I think that that leads back to like when I was younger, I was running around and my

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sense of purpose was I had two stepkids, raising my stepkids, getting tenure at the

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university. You know, I had a different sense of purpose than I have now.

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Now, my sense of purpose is about connecting generations and doing what I can to have

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those intergenerational projects happen.

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And that's really where my passion lies.

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And I think no matter what age you are, it's really important to have that sense of

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purpose. And I think a lot of people when they retire, that's why some people have

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problems because they think they're going to retire and everything's going to be great,

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But they haven't done the next step of like, what is my sense of purpose now that I it is

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not tied to my job.

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And I think when we many times when we describe ourselves, at least when we're

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working, we describe ourselves by the things that we do and the job that we have rather

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than who we really are as people.

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It's just easier and more shorthand to be able to say, Oh, I'm a professor, and, you

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know, not to really go deeper into who you are as a person.

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And so when that's gone, then how do you describe yourself?

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And so I think that is a really important thing to keep in mind as people come to that

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point in their lives or any point in their lives is really thinking about how do you how

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do you figure out what your sense of purpose is?

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And everyone in the film had that, whether it was Lucky Louie making mozzarella for his

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daughter's deli. Those of you that haven't seen the film, he was a pediatrician.

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Everyone here in San Luis Obispo, who is of a certain age, had him as a pediatrician.

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So they love it. But he reinvented himself when he stopped doing that and started being

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a mozzarella maker or, you know, Paul Wolfe, who was an architect and taught architecture

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at the university and now still in his nineties, is going about to different high

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schools, talking about his experience during World War Two.

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He survived and got out of Germany.

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He is Jewish and got out of Germany and talks about discrimination.

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And, you know, everybody has a different sense of purpose.

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And I think that that is the drive that keeps people going and keeps people not just

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going. Because you want to thrive.

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And I think to pull a quote from a good friend of mine, Dr.

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Roger Landry, you want to live long and die short, You know, you really want to live live

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out loud, live full and die quickly.

Wendy Green:

Yes, absolutely.

Wendy Green:

And that's what my whole show is about and my whole coaching program is about finding

Wendy Green:

that purpose. And some people get a little overwhelmed.

Wendy Green:

But you're right, The show is about these people.

Wendy Green:

They had a reason to get up in the morning and they were excited about their days and

Wendy Green:

what they were going to be doing.

Wendy Green:

So it was yeah, it was a beautiful lesson.

Wendy Green:

So what's next for you?

Sky Bergman:

Well, I am retired from teaching, although I'm teaching part time through an early

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retirement program, so I'm semi-retired.

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But I'm writing a book about my experience with the film and also interviewing people

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that are doing really interesting work, connecting generations.

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So there's one whole chapter that's devoted to that so that it hopefully people will read

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the book and be inspired to create some of these intergenerational projects in their own

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community or educational institution.

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And working on this Mochizuki film, the extended version of the film that's going to

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be on PBS. So and then just having fun, you know, you have to have in your life the time

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for enjoyment and fun.

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And it can't all be about work.

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So my priorities at this point are take care of my self.

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That means doing yoga every day and walking every day eating well.

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I have a great partner and a great family making sure that I spend time with them.

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And then the last thing is I do my work, so it goes.

Wendy Green:

So it's a total shift of the priorities from when you were younger, which is.

Sky Bergman:

Yes, I think I think I always took care of myself because I had an illness when I was

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35. And I think that when that happens, when you're young, you realize that you cannot

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take your body for granted and that you really have to take care of yourself.

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It's sort of that metaphor of you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before

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you can take care of others.

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And I think that that sometimes is seen as selfish, but in fact, it's very selfless to

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be able to so that you can be present when you need to be if something happens.

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And I experienced that as well.

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So making sure that you take care of yourself first so you can take care of other

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people, that's really an important lesson to learn.

Wendy Green:

You have shared a ton of lessons with us.

Wendy Green:

Thank you. Thank you.

Wendy Green:

Thank you. Thank you. So let me tell people how they can reach you.

Wendy Green:

You can reach Sky if you want to email her at lives well lived at gmail.com.

Wendy Green:

You can also check out the website, which is a huge resource of materials.

Wendy Green:

As she said, the questions that are there where you can leave your own stories, how to

Wendy Green:

watch this film, a ton of information and that website is live.

Wendy Green:

Hyphen well hyphen live dot com.

Wendy Green:

So please do that.

Wendy Green:

Please watch the movie and let Skye know how much you appreciate the work that she's

Wendy Green:

doing. Thank you.

Sky Bergman:

Yeah, you bet. And thanks to everybody that tuned in.

Sky Bergman:

I see Marty and Susan, Maureen and Deb, thank you so much for writing comments and

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for everyone else that didn't necessarily already it.

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But it's here. I so appreciate it.

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And if you want to really start up your day.

Sky Bergman:

Right. If you go to the website there's a film stars page and I have my favorite quotes

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on that page. So if you're looking for inspiration on a daily basis, you can go

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there and find some great inspiration.

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And Wendy, thank you so much for having me.

Sky Bergman:

This was a blast. I really had a great time.

Wendy Green:

Thanks so much. So glad.

Wendy Green:

I'm so glad that you came.

Wendy Green:

So let me just remind you of a couple of things before we go.

Wendy Green:

If you're interested in talking about what's next for yourself, as Skye was saying,

Wendy Green:

finding your purpose in this next chapter, drop me an email at Wendy at Hey Boomer Dot

Wendy Green:

Biz. If you're interested in finding out more about the relationship coaching that

Wendy Green:

Christine Baumgartner does, you can reach her at the perfect catch dot com.

Wendy Green:

Just fill out a little questionnaire there and schedule a time to talk to her and next

Wendy Green:

week so next week my guest is Ken Dolan Delvecchio Ken is a leader in the field of

Wendy Green:

mental health and he now has a podcast called The Pet Los Companion and also a book

Wendy Green:

about that. So if you are a pet owner, if you have ever lost a pet, you know how

Wendy Green:

difficult that can be.

Wendy Green:

So we're going to talk to Ken about grieving the loss of a pet and how to move on from

Wendy Green:

that. And I like to leave you all with the reminder that you can live with courage, you

Wendy Green:

can live with passion, and you can live with relevance.

Wendy Green:

And remember, you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

Wendy Green:

My name is Wendy Green, and this has been.