1 00:00:01,014 --> 00:00:06,484 So Monday came, Monday went, and I didn't publish anything. 2 00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:12,354 Not because I forgot, because I was properly buried under the kind of client 3 00:00:12,354 --> 00:00:17,664 work that eats your whole week and then burps politely and asks, "What's for 4 00:00:17,664 --> 00:00:24,224 pudding?" And somewhere in the middle of all that, I clocked a feeling, a feeling 5 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,734 that I'd failed, which would've been fine. 6 00:00:26,744 --> 00:00:27,824 I mean, that's manageable. 7 00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,414 Failure is manageable. 8 00:00:30,104 --> 00:00:34,664 It's what happened next that really shook me. 9 00:00:35,874 --> 00:00:42,394 I started feeling like a failure for feeling like a failure because guess what? 10 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:49,324 I'm the bloke who makes a podcast telling you not to do exactly that. 11 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,354 Yeah, let that sink in. 12 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:53,744 I had to 13 00:00:59,715 --> 00:01:03,325 This is Podmastery Podcasting Insights, the show for people who've had a proper 14 00:01:03,325 --> 00:01:07,365 go at this podcasting thing, probably got episodes out, you know your way around 15 00:01:07,365 --> 00:01:14,105 the gear, but you can feel that there's a gear that you haven't quite found yet. 16 00:01:14,786 --> 00:01:19,936 I'm Neal Veglio, 30 years in radio and audio behind me, and still apparently 17 00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:26,736 entirely capable of feeling like a rank amateur on a day ending in Y. This episode 18 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,276 isn't really about missing a deadline. 19 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,876 Everyone misses deadlines. 20 00:01:29,976 --> 00:01:36,216 It's about the thing that you do next in your own head that turns 21 00:01:36,326 --> 00:01:41,276 a missed Monday into something a lot more, something deeper. 22 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,835 Let me give you the truth about this first And this is quite vulnerable. 23 00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:48,524 I publish on a Monday. 24 00:01:48,614 --> 00:01:49,584 That is my slot. 25 00:01:50,854 --> 00:01:51,634 I don't know why. 26 00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:54,854 I think it was really down to looking at the calendar and going, "Do you know what? 27 00:01:54,854 --> 00:01:59,194 Monday is probably the most realistic day that I can get my ass into gear 28 00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:04,774 and get content published out there." For this episode, this one right now, 29 00:02:05,764 --> 00:02:10,194 this is publishing on a Wednesday because Monday got swallowed whole 30 00:02:10,684 --> 00:02:15,024 by the work that I do for the people who actually pay me, and that's it. 31 00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,324 That's the entire scandal. 32 00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:17,234 There's no drama. 33 00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:18,424 There's no crisis. 34 00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:20,174 Nobody died. 35 00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:21,784 It just happened. 36 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:26,574 Now, if you'd asked me on the record on this very microphone I'm speaking into 37 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:31,064 now whether publishing two days late matters, I'd have told you the truth. 38 00:02:31,494 --> 00:02:33,574 It absolutely doesn't, not even slightly. 39 00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:37,724 The day you publish makes not the slightest bit of difference to 40 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,544 a single download you receive. 41 00:02:40,134 --> 00:02:41,694 I'd stake this entire show on it. 42 00:02:42,544 --> 00:02:44,294 Your feed doesn't know what day it is. 43 00:02:44,324 --> 00:02:48,244 Your listener isn't sat at home with a calendar that's got your 44 00:02:48,244 --> 00:02:53,494 face on it going, "Look at that. He's late." I know all that. 45 00:02:53,664 --> 00:02:54,654 I've said all that. 46 00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:58,664 I could even probably dig out some clips of me saying all that, and 47 00:02:58,664 --> 00:03:02,474 yet I still felt like a failure, and that's the first feeling. 48 00:03:04,676 --> 00:03:07,146 Honestly, that first feeling is allowed. 49 00:03:07,196 --> 00:03:08,426 It's just data. 50 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:13,316 You make a thing, you had a rhythm of making that thing, 51 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:14,956 and you broke that rhythm, 52 00:03:17,175 --> 00:03:19,485 and you felt a flicker of disappointment. 53 00:03:19,835 --> 00:03:20,215 Fine. 54 00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:20,895 That's human. 55 00:03:21,495 --> 00:03:22,575 Let that pass through you. 56 00:03:23,151 --> 00:03:26,691 But then there's the second feeling that they don't tell you about, and 57 00:03:26,691 --> 00:03:31,981 the second feeling is the one that does the most damage to your mindset. 58 00:03:32,831 --> 00:03:38,061 The second feeling goes something like this: You feel like a failure. 59 00:03:38,741 --> 00:03:39,311 You. 60 00:03:40,351 --> 00:03:42,071 Well, you make the show about this. 61 00:03:43,351 --> 00:03:47,451 You've literally recorded the episode telling people the day that you 62 00:03:47,451 --> 00:03:55,701 release doesn't matter, and here you are sat in exactly the misery you 63 00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:57,621 try to get everyone else to avoid. 64 00:03:58,591 --> 00:04:00,331 What kind of fraud does that make you? 65 00:04:01,384 --> 00:04:07,714 That's the second feeling, feeling like a failure for feeling like a failure 66 00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:15,456 And here's the uncomfortable bit, the bit I'm not gonna rush past just to make 67 00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:19,816 either of us feel better about all this, because it's a good learning moment 68 00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:26,636 Knowing the right answer to this does not protect you from feeling the wrong thing. 69 00:04:27,188 --> 00:04:33,311 Being the person who gives the advice doesn't inoculate you against needing it. 70 00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:39,172 If anything, it's slightly worse because now you've got a second 71 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,462 charge stacked on top of it all. 72 00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:47,842 It's not just, "I missed it," but it's now, "I missed it, and I should 73 00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:51,882 probably know better." Expertise doesn't switch that feeling off. 74 00:04:52,252 --> 00:04:53,622 It just loads it 75 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,710 It makes the bang louder I am not immune to this. 76 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,090 I wanna be really clear about that because it would be very easy for me to stand 77 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:07,120 here and pretend I've got it all sorted, and you're the one who needs fixing. 78 00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:11,320 I haven't, I don't, and this week I was the case study. 79 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:13,650 And you know this feeling. 80 00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:18,910 Even if you've never missed a podcast episode in your life, you know it. 81 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:23,150 It's the exact logic of, "Well, I've eaten one biscuit, so that diet's 82 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:27,680 ruined now. I may as well finish the whole packet." The failure isn't the 83 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:34,155 biscuit, the failure is the story that one biscuit means you've now blown the 84 00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:36,755 whole thing, so why bother trying again? 85 00:05:37,161 --> 00:05:42,311 We do it with diets, with gym memberships, with alcohol consumption, 86 00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:47,649 with the untouched novel that sits atop our bedside table, and 87 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:48,869 we do it with podcast production 88 00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:52,626 So why does it happen? 89 00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:57,756 Why does a two-day slip on a metric that measures precisely 90 00:05:57,936 --> 00:06:01,236 nothing feel like a moral failing? 91 00:06:01,806 --> 00:06:05,926 Now, I've been turning this over and over, over the last 48 hours, and I 92 00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:08,086 don't think it's just about the deadline. 93 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,526 Here's what I think it actually is. 94 00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:23,375 Dead air is quite a problem in radio, certainly live broadcast radio. 95 00:06:24,465 --> 00:06:25,765 But here's the important bit. 96 00:06:26,475 --> 00:06:30,955 It wasn't me, it was a slot, it was airtime, a job. 97 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,135 The show existed whether my name was on it or not. 98 00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:40,835 If I was off, the show carried on without me, and nobody at 99 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,035 home was staring at the schedule thinking less of Neal specifically. 100 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:43,135 They were just like, "Oh, okay. Well, that's different. Someone 101 00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:43,195 new doing that slot now." This 102 00:06:52,183 --> 00:06:53,793 podcasting thing, this is different. 103 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,913 This show has my name on it. 104 00:06:56,503 --> 00:07:04,293 It is me, my brand, my face, my whole identity bolted into an RSS feed 105 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:11,203 And when the thing is you, a missed episode stops feeling like I missed 106 00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:15,893 a deadline, and it starts feeling like I am failing at being me. 107 00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:19,863 And that's kind of the trap that nobody really gets to warn you 108 00:07:19,863 --> 00:07:23,243 about when they tell you to go and build your personal brand. 109 00:07:23,813 --> 00:07:25,893 You make the thing personal deliberately. 110 00:07:25,893 --> 00:07:29,903 I mean, that's the entire strategy, and then every little wobble 111 00:07:29,973 --> 00:07:31,783 in the thing feels personal. 112 00:07:32,543 --> 00:07:35,843 The stakes get intimate in a way they were never actually designed 113 00:07:35,883 --> 00:07:42,333 to be, and a missed slot becomes a referendum on your character, all 114 00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:49,333 because of a Monday that objectively, objectively means absolutely nothing. 115 00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:54,523 And this is the actual reason that podcasters disappear. 116 00:07:55,883 --> 00:07:56,713 It's not the missed week. 117 00:07:56,713 --> 00:07:59,413 I promise you, it's not the missed week. 118 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,813 It's the story you tell yourself about what that missed week means. 119 00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:06,503 In the dark of your own mind 120 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,710 You miss one, you feel like a fraud. 121 00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:16,690 The fraud feeling makes sitting down to record feel faintly sickening. 122 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:24,170 So you put it off, and putting it off means you miss another, which, 123 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,750 well, would you look at that? 124 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,330 Kinda proves the fraud story right. 125 00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:34,680 And round and round it goes until one day you're just not really 126 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,190 a podcaster anymore suddenly. 127 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,080 Nobody's decided it. 128 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,600 It just became. 129 00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:40,550 It compounded. 130 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:47,000 The missed episode is a pothole, and that second feeling of failure 131 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:52,620 at the fraud is the thing that drives you off the road entirely. 132 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,140 So what actually broke the loop for me this week? 133 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,900 Because I'm telling you, something did. 134 00:08:59,490 --> 00:09:00,230 Well, here it is. 135 00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:01,920 I didn't bury it. 136 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:03,420 I could have. 137 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,160 Easiest thing in the world, shove this episode out on a Wednesday 138 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,630 instead and say nothing, and act like it always releases on Wednesdays. 139 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:12,380 What are you talking about? 140 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:13,590 I've never released on a Monday. 141 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,240 Smooth it over. 142 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,140 That's what most of us do. 143 00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:20,670 We hide the miss and hope nobody noticed. 144 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,100 Instead, I did the opposite. 145 00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:27,840 I decided to make the miss the episode, to say it out loud to you. 146 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,920 And I want you to notice what happened the moment I decided that 147 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:35,080 because it's the whole point of this. 148 00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:42,930 The shame disappeared instantly, almost embarrassingly fast, because shame 149 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,640 can't survive being said out loud. 150 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,140 It's the thing that only grows in the darkness of our mind, in that 151 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:52,010 private little courtroom in our head where we're somehow both the 152 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,460 prosecutor and the bloke in the dock. 153 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,190 And the second you drag that into the limelight and you just name it, you 154 00:09:58,190 --> 00:10:02,080 go, "Yeah, I missed it, and then I felt like a fraud for feeling bad about it. 155 00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:06,730 How stupid is that?" Well, now the shame's got nowhere left to live. 156 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:11,060 Which kind of brings me to something I wanna share with you. 157 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:19,410 But before that, a short break where I'd love to play you a podcast trailer from 158 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,360 one of our Podmastery community members. 159 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,490 We'll be opening the doors to the public soon. 160 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:28,410 If you'd like to join the founding members, go to podmastery.co/waitlist 161 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,870 So here's the thing I wanna share with you. 162 00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:42,030 It's not a list, it's literally one thing. 163 00:10:43,170 --> 00:10:46,890 The next time you break one of your own rules, maybe you miss a slot of a 164 00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:52,240 release of an episode, or you skip a week because you just don't feel able to do it. 165 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,930 If you fall short of some standard that you set for yourself privately, 166 00:10:57,220 --> 00:11:02,518 told no one about, Name that miss to your audience, to your co-host, 167 00:11:03,418 --> 00:11:07,408 to your followers, or just to an empty room out loud on the record. 168 00:11:07,638 --> 00:11:08,918 Yeah, I missed it. 169 00:11:09,038 --> 00:11:11,718 I feel a bit crap about it, but that's just a feeling. 170 00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:13,188 That's it. 171 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:16,128 Because you can't stop the first feeling. 172 00:11:16,138 --> 00:11:18,808 The disappointment is coming and that's data. 173 00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:24,998 But the second one, the shame around it, the what does this say about me? 174 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,078 What does this say about my reputation? 175 00:11:28,678 --> 00:11:32,848 That needs secrecy to survive, and the fastest way to kill 176 00:11:32,848 --> 00:11:35,968 that is to deny it its secrecy. 177 00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:37,628 Say it out loud. 178 00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:38,918 Watch it die. 179 00:11:40,818 --> 00:11:42,128 So that's what I did this week. 180 00:11:43,198 --> 00:11:44,578 I became the episode. 181 00:11:45,388 --> 00:11:48,688 It turns out that the failure was better content than whatever I'd 182 00:11:48,698 --> 00:11:50,498 had planned for Monday anyway. 183 00:11:51,148 --> 00:11:54,668 If you've got a podcasting thing that you're beating yourself up about that 184 00:11:54,678 --> 00:12:01,128 genuinely is holding you back, those are the kind of conversations I like to have. 185 00:12:01,628 --> 00:12:06,138 Head to podmastery.co and get your podcasting challenge solved. 186 00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:08,038 It's me on the other end. 187 00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:09,588 It's not a sales funnel. 188 00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,778 Everything gets actioned there and then 189 00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:19,128 Click Need Help in the top menu, book your 60-minute call, and 190 00:12:19,128 --> 00:12:20,638 we'll get you back on track 191 00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:23,868 I hope you found this useful. 192 00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,818 I'm Neal Veglio, the podmaster. 193 00:12:26,838 --> 00:12:30,728 Good luck with your continuing journey towards podmastery