it's about the quality of the agent and making sure that you're not just using a family member because they're there.

What if something goes wrong, what is that going to look like down the road?

I think the biggest hurdle with this is not knowing what to say. Realtors already have a hard time getting real feedback. And I think when family's involved too it's even harder.

Interview your family member as if you would anybody else.

If you are worried about disclosing your finances, that is another big reason why you wouldn't want to work with a family member The goal here, guys, is to get the absolute best representation you can for you. If you want to use family, you can. If you don't, these are the reasons why we think it might not be a great idea.

This episode powered by Wawa. I get Wawa coffee every single day. I'm on first name basis with the Limerick morning crew.

What's his name?

Decaf Dan, Sizzly Sue, they're my besties, and then I got John at the

wait. You have Decaf Dan, Sizzly Sue. I don't know if he

I don't know if he knows his nickname. Dan, if you didn't, now you do. I'll see you before this comes out.

Sizzly Sue, and who?

there was Larry, but now he went to Pottstown then there's John, he's at the register and he's great. And he says that he always hopes everybody has a safe day. and I haven't been wearing this shirt. Thanks. You got it for me Because st. Patrick's day is gonna be on sunday So figure why not wear some of the as if I don't have enough kelly green eagle stuff figure i'd rep the kelly green. Wawa

it has the Eagles. yeah. Yeah. And I have a shirt. This is our first merch. it is from one of our super fans Ross and Emily. So we're

They do have an Instagram account, so go and follow them, it's actually, they have some really good

They do I just showed it to you and you're like, holy shit. That's a lot of followers So yeah, she's done a good job with it. So I helped them find a house and she needed like her diehard I don't think we call it that hard dungeon, but we had

we had

like a diehard workspace but no, it's funny, but yeah, I had dinner with them and they got me this, our first merch. So I don't know, maybe one day we'll have hats and all that bullshit,

Yeah, I think that would be awesome, just cause I, I like that stuff. I want to give it away to people,

I know. Didn't you just give away like 60 hoodies?

Oh my God. that's not my own personal collection. I have a thing for hoodies. I love hoodies so much. and they don't go to waste, I took 45 out of my closet and put them into a drawer that I now have on my bed. So I was able to consolidate my closet.

do you need 45 of anything for? Why don't you, why don't you, why don't you donate, why don't you donate them or something?

I did, I donated about 30 of them from that purge

don't you donate them to family, which is a perfect seg to talk about what we're going to talk about today. Alright,

then why don't we kick it off?

it off, that's fine. today guys, we are going to be talking about the, pros and cons of hiring family members as your agent. this is a touchy one, man.

this was on our topic list from the very conception of this.

and I think I've been essentially pushing it downstream.

it's Touchy to touch

it's sensitive and people feel very strongly one way or the other. I have personally been very successful in helping all of my family members, buy and sell houses. My brother's bought an investment property. I moved my other brother out of the city. I've been able to help, by extension, a lot of my family's, friends coworkers and all that good stuff. cross branding,

Oh, that's true. I'll keep my own experiences to myself.

Jen has a different experience, but, I think really what this conversation is gonna be more or less about not about whether you're realtor, it's about the quality of the agent, and making sure that you're not just using a family member because they're there. And you're worried about navigating that conversation about Hey, I really don't want to have you as my agent because of this, that, and the other, we're going to talk a little bit about that. but listen, if you have a family member who's proficient. and it does a lot of work, like we do, I think it's okay, but don't just hire them because they happen to be sitting around the Thanksgiving table.

the reason why this topic got pushed up a bit, I had a conversation with a friend, who I sorta, confidentiality, respect that. who had said that they do wish that he had at least shopped around, and explored other options than just by default going for the family member. for some reasons being, now there was something that didn't go very according to plan during the transaction, and it really wasn't great that, and it was something that could have been avoided. And now family gatherings are awkward. And there's this elephant

okay. So, so, things went south. Yeah,

they got the house.

Well, I, I, I think

want things to be weird? Like what, if something goes wrong, what is that going to look like down the road

Yeah, and I think the biggest hurdle with this is not knowing what to say. if aunt, Sue or

I have an aunt sue

cousin Jeffrey or whatever have a license. They just don't know how to navigate that conversation to say, I love you. I respect you. I think you're okay. Like you're okay with what you do. You're good at what you do, but I would like to shop and see what else is out there. you can always do this. Not you. It's me, the George Costanza thing where it's no, it's not about you. It's about me. And this is what I need. I don't want to make things weird. I don't want to get us into a situation where, business collides with family. And then it is weird at the table,

my best friend since I was born just had this conversation with me actually. she's somebody who wouldn't want to necessarily hurt my feelings, but I did find out that her sister, who is practically my little sister, she just bought a house not far from me and used somebody else. I was mad. I was just like, what are you kidding? it ended up being her boyfriend. Big say in things, so I texted my friend. I was like, okay, she has that means you have to, she actually, she told me that she doesn't want to, for the purpose of God forbid, like something goes wrong. And it was like her boyfriend, does something that I don't like. She doesn't want it to interfere with our lifelong relationship. Now I told her like, There is nothing you could do that will impact like our relationship. Like I know how to keep things separate. I know your intentions. I know that we're still going to have a relationship after this. No matter what I love. I'm not gonna say I work harder for my friends. I work hard for everybody, but that's like something you're putting your trust into me with. I'm going to take really good care of it. But I also understand that if you don't think that my personality is going to clash with your partner and you don't want to have any turmoil or awkwardness. with your partner and I down the road and honestly I respect that and I was like, yeah, all right, fair.

Realtors already have a hard time getting real feedback. and I think when family's involved too, it's even harder because they don't want to despair. Cause they know it's the circle's right there. they say, well, I was satisfied with Aunt Sue, they don't even go there. And I think that, I think it would be interesting to know who else out there has had, experiences with family realtors who it hasn't been great and but they've been afraid to say it because they don't want to rock the boat and they don't want to disparage their reputation because they don't want to cut off other opportunities for that family

member. and that's the thing. say your reason is, a personality conflict with the other, your co buyer, or your partner or whatever, the way that you can. navigate that conversation is be able to just say that. I'd rather respect that than think that you think I'm a terrible agent, and instead say, listen, I don't want to risk something in the future with like our personal relationship. but I'm going to refer you to everybody else. I know

okay, I'll take it. Yeah. That's a fair trade

I love helping my friends more than anything, so much, and please friends continue to work with me because I love you so much I take it to heart big time, and motivates me a lot, if you're not going to, then send me at least three referrals per one loss. We'll totally make it up to whoever it is that you're talking to.

I love working with my family. I love working with my friends. I can't remember the last time that I worked with somebody where it got weird. the only times that I've worked with people where they've drifted away, they were really like distant referrals. They were Friend of a friend type thing. sometimes the transaction happens so fast, you don't get that chance to like, probably deep build a relationship, I didn't go to college around here, all my high school friends use me, my wife's boss used me. really take a lot of pride in what I do. And I think most agents really try their best, I can certainly understand why somebody would be.

Hesitant

to use a family member. because I do think it can, get quote unquote weird.

I have another friend too, he is straight up told me that I want to work with you when I'm ready to buy a house But his family member is an agent and said I am going to get massacred if I don't use that family

that's, family dynamic, that sometimes is the case. nothing you can do about that.

I wish you felt more free to use who they would like to use they want to support their friends and they just have this like resentful family member and there are times where not using your family member Like it really damages relationships between people and I think that's really messed up I mean be honest with people and you know If you want to shop around and just at least interview your family member as if you would anybody else

I think a good way to approach it is, first of all, if you have a partner who wants to use a certain realtor and you have a, someone in your family, who's a realtor, I think it's totally fair game

to, meet up with both of them.

to, yeah, to meet with both of them, but also, Meeting with multiple Realtors isn't necessarily the end of the world, especially if you're looking for something super specific. if you're looking for a farm. You know, don't use a city realtor. And if you've got someone who works on farms, and you're looking for a city like condo, like there are specializations that take place. There's also bandwidth. I've had situations where the aunt is like, in town, but then they snowboard down to Florida and they pass them off to their partner. because one partner's here for six months, the other partners there for six months, that type of thing. So also logistically, is that person that found him or in alignment with what you need, from a, like a timing standpoint, a lot of times, like Monday, Tuesday, doesn't mean anything, there's no new listings, but that Thursday through Saturday stretch, like if they're not around, And they're generally not around during those stretches, like that might not be the right use. So I agree with you. if you're unsure about who to use, interview a couple of realtors, just see. we had clients who were looking for the right fit. we in fact sent this podcast over to them. I

think I have no idea if they

we'll we'll ask them next time we see them, but, they wanted to get a feel for the right personality,

It's just Too big of a financial investment and too much of a process. And you're going to be spending a lot of time with your agent. And, to just pick something you're told to pick. And like I said, you don't always have to talk to a million people. You can feel very secure with something that You want to work with and be like, no, I'm sure this is who I want to work with. if you feel one way about working with a friend that you really want to support this other agent that you do know, you feel bad for letting your family member down it's not matching energy and like everything, but it is definitely something to be said for it when you are shopping for a house, It's not only your time and your money that you're putting into it, but it's a lot of your emotional and like mental wellness because it can go in so many different directions. And it's who do you want to go through that with?

I will add this as well is that sometimes it can get a little dicey with finances. when you buy a house, you're disclosing a ton about your financial situation. That can also make things a little weird with the family. Hiring someone outside of your family who's insulated, who'd have no reason to talk about that with really anybody because nobody's really interested, that is a consideration. I know what my sister in law makes and I know what my brothers make. I know the finances and savings and all that stuff. for me, it just doesn't really interest me to tell. I, first of all, I'm not allowed to, but it's also, I have, no to talk about that type of stuff. But if you are worried about disclosing your finances, that is another big reason why you wouldn't want to work with a family member, because that can be

because they're going to know all of it.

and money and family Can be problematic as we've seen all the time.

I had a point. That I thought of and oh, that's it. I would say that

Jenna's back.

is back. Jen is unmedicated. The pharmaceutical industry is an absolute mess right now And so is my brain? and i'm not saying that like your family member is a Um, they also want what's best for you, ultimately, and they think that they are best for you. if it was like my niece or if it was my son, and they were saying like, I want to go with my friend over here who knows whatever. I'm just going to say, I know what's best for you and I want to get what is best for you because I know I'm going to work that way. if they're adamant on wanting to help their friends to help them get their house, I just want to meet that friend then sell me on it then to know that you're going to take care of my babies So if it is something that like you want to work with somebody else, but you're afraid of your family member, like hating you for that, it's probably coming from a good place and offer to like introduce you guys or have them ask this other agent. As many questions as they want to make sure that they have that trust because otherwise it's just going to be butting heads and just Frustration and let them know it's nothing personal like it never has to be anything

at all, sometimes it can be personal. But, most times it's not. a big hurdle for people. were buying a house every year, I think real estate consumers would get better at, doing this, but because they only do like few in their lifetime, and there is a lot of that familial pressure. I think the real estate consumer just doesn't understand how to navigate this. So I hope that people find this useful. leave it in the comments. has anybody out there used a realtor, in their family and had a good or bad experience? what was your experience working with family? I hope my brothers would. I think I did a pretty good job for them, but, that I would be interested to see people think about this issue too. is it a foregone conclusion you're going to use family because you can trust them? Or is it like, no, no, there's no way I'd use my family member because wouldn't want to run the risk of ruining a relationship.

Or have you managed to find a way to marry both and actually make it work? if you want to let them down, easy, say, offer a referral fee. like if somebody had a family member that was an agent and they felt that they had a loyalty too, because I respect loyalty. Obviously I would feel very disappointed and hurt if somebody who I had worked in a relationship with for so long just decided to like kick me to the curb. if you feel that you want to use somebody else, when this other person thought that you were going to use them, just like ease it over and see if that agent will offer just like a referral fee to lessen the blow a little bit, or maybe is there a way that, You know, you could both, kind of work hand in hand somehow. That is probably not something I'd recommend as much, but, have you ever done something like that? Would you consider doing something like that? Sure.

You Yeah, I think the goal here, guys, is to get the absolute best representation you can for you. That's it. That's, that's the full stop. That's all we're suggesting here. If you want to use family, you can. If you don't, these are the reasons why we think it might not be a great idea. If anyone has any questions out there, they can ask us.

hit us up on Millennium Podcast on Instagram. double L, double P.

YouTube. And also if you're watching this on YouTube, you can just drop it in the

below. Yeah. Alright.

All right, guys. we'll See

Bye.