[00:00:00] Lisa: All right, before we get into a big fight, I call dibs on the check.

[00:00:05] Kevin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's all right. No,

[00:00:07] Angela: no, no. Allow me as a house warming gift to you. Kevy.

[00:00:10] Henry: They dropped the check already.

[00:00:11] Sanjay: Not yet.

[00:00:12] Brian: Remind me why you're wearing a paper bag on your head.

[00:00:15] Sanjay: Can you move a little to the left? Henry, we're losing you in the frame here.

[00:00:18] Angela: Oh, is that why you're wearing the bag? You're making a TikTok. I thought you were embarrassed about how badly you bombed at the open mic.

[00:00:24] Henry: I am embarrassed, and I'm also making a TikTok about it and. And NFT, we're spinning it. That's a PR term for redirecting a massive failure into a growth opportunity. It wasn't a massive failure.

[00:00:37] Henry: You ever just look at your algorithm and realize you're a bad person,

[00:00:41] Heckler: you're not funny.

[00:00:43] Henry: You know who is funny? Your mom. When I'm f***ing her,

[00:00:45] Heckler: my mom's dead asshole.

[00:00:47] Henry: Good. I'm happy about that. I'm sorry. I just don't want my fans to swarm me. I'm protecting my identity.

[00:00:56] Kevin: You know that you've got your name on a receipt that's stapled to the back of your bag, right?

[00:01:01] Angela: When are you moving into your bachelor pad? Kev?

[00:01:03] Kevin: Soon. Like next week.

[00:01:06] Angela: Why aren't you moving in with Monica?

[00:01:08] Kevin: My mom said she wouldn't be my guarantor.

[00:01:10] Angela: She'll get over it. Damn. Your parents are gonna be empty nesters for the first time in like 35 years. It's crazy. Right?

[00:01:17] Lisa: Ooh, here comes a check. Hey Miss, don't listen to any of them. You can use this card. I actually really need the points.

[00:01:22] Kevin: I think I gave you my card before everyone got here.

[00:01:24] Henry: I can expense this as a business meeting.

[00:01:26] Brian: I forgot my wallet. What you, you heard, correct? I don't have my wallet. No idea where it is.

[00:01:37] Angela: I'm scared. I think Brian's having a mental break again.

[00:01:40] Brian: No, no, no, no guys, I swear I'm feeling really, really, really good. Um, and I. Can't believe I'm saying this, but, uh, I have Angela to thank for my new mental wealth. So, yeah.

[00:01:53] Henry: Oh God. What did she do to you? Did she cast like a freaky spell on him?

[00:01:57] Angela: I do dabble in the occult, but I wasn't casting with Brian in mind.

[00:02:01] Henry: What did you do to him? You f***ing witch look at me in the eyes and tell me!

[00:02:05] Heckler: Hey, isn't that the guy from the comedy club who thinks women shouldn't vote?

[00:02:09] Sanjay: Hey, wait, can you do that again for TikTok?

[00:02:11] Brian: No, Angela didn't cast a spell on me. Everyone. I'm actually just feeling so much better because I've been seeing the therapist. She recommended me.

[00:02:20] Angela: Oh, wow. Phew. That's that's great. Brian, how many sessions have you had?

[00:02:25] Brian: One, and it's changed my whole life.

[00:02:27] Angela: Well, that's good, but you should keep up with it. They, they say it takes a few sessions to have a breakthrough.

[00:02:35] Brian: Oh. I mean, that happened already. I had a breakthrough. I'll never be the same.

[00:02:40] Henry: Sounds like your brain broke. Dude.

[00:02:42] Brian: It totally did. Dude. Like in the best way possible. I think I am a completely different person now.

[00:02:49] Kevin: You seem the same, like you just talk different.

[00:02:53] Brian: I really appreciate you sharing your perception with me.

[00:02:55] Kevin: See, he just did it again.

[00:02:58] Lisa: Mm wow. A breakthrough in one session and having, you said therapy wasn't for you, Brian?

[00:03:04] Brian: Trust me. It's not okay. I mean, I was doing totally fine, but. You know, I figured a little extra help. Couldn't hurt.

[00:03:15] Digital Receptionist: Hello?

[00:03:17] Brian: Uh, hi. Um, is this

[00:03:20] Digital Receptionist: welcome to Mind-Blown Medicine? Are you a new patient?

[00:03:25] Brian: Uh, yes.

[00:03:27] Digital Receptionist: Would you like to schedule an intake session?

[00:03:30] Brian: Um, yes.

[00:03:33] Digital Receptionist: Do you have insurance?

[00:03:35] Brian: Oh, yes.

[00:03:35] Digital Receptionist: Woah, there, cowboy.

[00:03:37] Brian: Wait, what?

[00:03:38] Digital Receptionist: Please provide a brief description of why you're looking to get your mind blown.

[00:03:44] Brian: Um, okay. Well, I, I guess I've just been feeling, um, really down lately.

[00:03:52] Brian: I, I think I spend, uh, too much time worrying about what people will think of me and if I'm doing a good job. Um. I also constantly feel a deep sense of shame, and if I'm being honest---

[00:04:04] Digital Receptionist: --thanks so much. Your session with Dr. Valencia is scheduled for tonight at 7:00 PM.

[00:04:13] Angela: I don't remember her answering service being so weirdly sexual. That's kind of weird.

[00:04:19] Kevin: Wait, you've never done therapy before?

[00:04:21] Brian: Nope. My family didn't believe in it.

[00:04:24] Kevin: So what did you do before this?

[00:04:26] Brian: Well, uh, whenever I'd be super depressed, I'd call my mom. She'd use the good old Korean cure-all for my woes.

[00:04:34] Kevin: And what's that?

[00:04:35] Yoojin: Just be happy!

[00:04:38] Kevin: Huh? Seems easy enough.

[00:04:40] Brian: Yeah. But it never seemed to heal my deeper traumas.

[00:04:43] Kevin: You, you have deeper traumas?

[00:04:45] Henry: Like what? Dude,

[00:04:47] Brian: I don't know. Like the time my parents put Sean up to introducing me to a woman.

[00:04:51] Angela: Plastic surgery with f*** you money, cousin Sean?

[00:04:54] Lisa: Ooh. The one who gives your mom a 10 K monthly allowance?

[00:04:57] Brian: That's the one. He said we were going to church.

[00:05:00] Henry: But he took you to a celebrity sex party.

[00:05:03] Brian: No, worse.

[00:05:05] Kevin: He took you to church, but on a blind date?

[00:05:06] Brian: Well. Sort of

[00:05:12] Sean: What are you wearing?

[00:05:14] Brian: It's a linen suit.

[00:05:15] Sean: What ?

[00:05:16] Brian: Linen? Feel it? It's super soft.

[00:05:19] Sean: Stop. Stop. Why the hell did you wear that? This is Circle!

[00:05:24] Brian: You told me we were going to a holy place.

[00:05:26] Sean: This many hot Koreans in one place is holy. I thought I winked when I said church.

[00:05:31] Sean: Remember Korean wink church? The second wink means nightclub.

[00:05:37] Brian: I thought you just had dry eye from performing so many surgeries. How was I supposed to know?

[00:05:41] Sean: Sh**? You know, we're gonna end up paying extra to get in.

[00:05:46] Angela: Yeah. Anything set in a nightclub is considered trauma for me.

[00:05:50] Kevin: So did you talk about that in the session?

[00:05:53] Brian: We actually talked about a lot of things!

[00:05:57] Dr. Valencia: Brian. Come in. So nice to meet you.

[00:06:02] Brian: Hello? Um, yeah, so how do we do this?

[00:06:08] Dr. Valencia: Why don't you start by talking about why you decided to come in today?

[00:06:12] Brian: Well, um. I've been feeling like I am disappointing my parents and then everyone just kind of expects me to have children. I know. I mean, it's not like I don't want them...I think I'd be a hot dad...

[00:06:31] Brian: my parents. It's like I'm living in Sean's huge, impossible to fill shadow.

[00:06:37] Dr. Valencia: Hmm mm-hmm. You know, I wanna commend you on being able to share all of this with me, Brian. It's very impressive how vulnerable and intimate you've been.

[00:06:50] Brian: I don't think I've ever talked about any of this to anyone, not my friends or my partners or my family.

[00:07:00] Dr. Valencia: You've kept so much bottled up for so long, Brian. I think it would really help you if we could work on releasing all of this structure and expectation. What do you think feels the most Hmm. Overwhelming aspect of Sean to you?

[00:07:19] Brian: You mean like what does he have that I don't have?

[00:07:24] Dr. Valencia: Yes, we can start there.

[00:07:26] Brian: I guess. I don't know. Sean just has this quiet confidence. He just ends up getting everything he wants and he doesn't have to overthink everything like I do. He just does whatever he feels like and he's still successful and everyone loves him.

[00:07:49] Dr. Valencia: Okay. I'm hearing that Sean has some freedom. You don't feel you have, Brian.

[00:07:56] Brian: I mean, Sean does whatever he likes. He's reckless.

[00:08:01] Dr. Valencia: What would recklessness look like if it entered into your life?

[00:08:05] Brian: Like what kind of reckless are we talking about here?

[00:08:09] Dr. Valencia: Well, what comes to mind when I say the word reckless to you? Brian, you've lived in the confines of a cautious, planned existence all your life in Sean's huge shadow, but maybe this shadow is self-imposed.

[00:08:24] Dr. Valencia: Perhaps for next time you can think about what would happen if you invited a little bit of healthy chaos into your life. Like Sean might.

[00:08:33] Brian: Dr. Valencia?

[00:08:34] Dr. Valencia: Yes?

[00:08:37] Brian: I think I--

[00:08:38] Dr. Valencia: I'm sorry. We're gonna have to end the session now. Please call the office to schedule your next session.

[00:08:44] Henry: Your therapist sounds hot, bro.

[00:08:47] Brian: Uh, yeah.

[00:08:48] Brian: I mean, she is an attractive woman. I, I won't deny that.

[00:08:51] Henry: Brian, you're like that meme is mental health ... dot sleeping with your therapist.

[00:08:57] Sanjay: Wait, wait, wait, wait. I, I wasn't recording. Can you do the pose again?

[00:09:00] Angela: I'm gonna smack that iPhone out of your hand if you don't stop recording everything.

[00:09:03] Henry: We're making content. Okay? Respect the hustle.

[00:09:06] Lisa: I mean, it sounded like good advice.

[00:09:08] Brian: It really was. I left the session completely mesmerized by Dr. Valencia. Her advice, I mean, until...

[00:09:18] Brian: sean!

[00:09:19] Sean: Hey, hey. Cause. So you're not gonna believe this, okay. I dunno how I pulled this off, but I found you a job at NYU Langone. My friend in urology was looking for a shadow, and I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be a lot of dicks, like a lot, uh, but ends like this are nearly impossible for, you know, dropouts.

[00:09:42] Sean: So what do you say?

[00:09:45] Brian: How about. You tell him that he can eat those d***s.

[00:09:49] Sean: What?

[00:09:51] Brian: Oh my God. I just broke my-- I threw my phone on the ground. What the f***? That feels good. Woo.

[00:10:06] Lisa: B. Is that why you haven't answered any of my calls?

[00:10:09] Brian: Yeah. I used my wise mind and decided to go analog. I mean, I hadn't felt this good since the time my local coffee shop forgot to charge me for a blueberry muffin two years ago. But my whole world opened up. I continued down the path of recklessness, trying to plan out what I could do next.

[00:10:28] Angela: Doesn't reckless mean unplanned?

[00:10:33] Brian: And I saw a huge window display of lottery cards. Of course, I thought my mother's words came to mind.

[00:10:41] Yoojin: Brian never gamble. Always invest. Gambling is reckless for people who bring shame on their family. Unless you want to treat Umma to an all-inclusive stay at Mohegan Sun.

[00:10:57] Yoojin: Elton John is playing a residency.

[00:11:00] Brian: There was that dirty word again, shame. I was being programmed into a thought spiral about shame. The shame brought on by simply existing in my parents' shadow. Well, no more!

[00:11:15] Brian: Hi. Um, could I maybe get one of those, uh, lottery tickets up there? I mean, which one would you say is the most-- you know, stupid irresponsible one?

[00:11:28] Brian: Nonjudgmentally. Of course.

[00:11:30] 7-11 Employee: Uh, we have this bacon one, which feels pretty dumb by guess, or you could go with this one. It's a word game, which I also think is very stupid. Honestly. They're all really stupid if you really think about it.

[00:11:42] Brian: Right, right. And what are the odds?

[00:11:44] Brian: I'll win any of these.

[00:11:46] 7-11 Employee: I don't know, man. Usually people win like two, $3.

[00:11:50] Brian: Seems practical, almost. Which one of these is the most reckless though? Like, which one of these is gonna really f***

[00:11:57] Brian: my sh** up?

[00:11:58] 7-11 Employee: You want to take it that f***s? Okay. Well, Powerball, that one will break your spirit. You know there haven't been a winner in the ages now.

[00:12:05] 7-11 Employee: What are the odds? One in 302.6 million.

[00:12:10] Brian: Sounds perfect. Okay, what are the most reckless numbers possible?

[00:12:16] Yoojin: Never pick number four. 안 돼. very unlucky.

[00:12:22] Brian: Let's go with four. 14, 24, 34, 40 and 44.

[00:12:29] Yoojin: Ya! You wanna Umma to die?

[00:12:34] 7-11 Employee: Okay, that'll be $2. Here you go.

[00:12:37] Brian: See you later, bro. Ugh, broseph. Why did I say that? Stupid. Wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:12:49] Brian: We are not shaming anymore. Reckless, reckless, reckless. I went home and recklessly, threw the lottery ticket out right away. Then I realized my room was completely coordinated. Dozens of monochromatic outfits just guaranteed to match several bottles of SK II my mom sent me lining the shelves, stacks upon stacks of conversation stimulating coffee table books.

[00:13:14] Brian: It was all this safe ass norm core bullsh**. You know, the perfect organization began to enrage me. Ah, so I gathered everything into a heap and threw it out. No, I'm done with this. It was, it was all so, so practical. No. No risk. It was zero risk. So risk free. I needed to change my look.

[00:13:40] Brian: Hey, excuse me. Uhhuh. Hi. Hey. Um, sorry, uh, not sorry. Um, you know, to interrupt your shopping experience, uh, but you've got a super, um, unique style. I wanna know. Well, what do you think about this sweater? I wanna look, uh. Reckless.

[00:14:03] Claire: Thanks and no need to apologize. I like the assertiveness. Hmm. It's pretty bold with all the patterning, but I think you can pull it off.

[00:14:13] Claire: Definitely a statement piece.

[00:14:15] Brian: Screw of staples. Right? Um, yeah. I'm doing a total overhaul from here on out. It's statement pieces only!

[00:14:24] Claire: Oh, that would look sick with these pants.

[00:14:27] Brian: I threw my Apple credit card on the counter and pretty soon this friendly stranger and I picked out a whole new wardrobe.

[00:14:32] Claire: Wow.

[00:14:33] Claire: You've got great taste in clothes. You gonna try any of it on?

[00:14:38] Brian: Nah, I think I'll just take them.

[00:14:41] Claire: You really know what you want.

[00:14:43] Brian: I do.?

[00:14:44] Claire: It seems like it! Um, I know we only just met, but I've been looking for my very own manic pixie dream boy to take me to Six Flags. And you seem like... you're into thrills. Would you like, I don't know, be interested in a date or something?

[00:15:03] Brian: I hated rollercoasters.

[00:15:05] Dr. Valencia: Reckless.

[00:15:07] Brian: Sure. Here's my email. I don't have a phone right now, so you could just iMessage me.

[00:15:15] Claire: Weird.

[00:15:21] Brian: Can I get an iced coffee?

[00:15:24] Barista: It's 24 degrees out. And 6:00 PM.

[00:15:29] Dr. Valencia: Reckless. Reckless. Reckless.

[00:15:30] Brian: Is it? I wouldn't know. I don't have a phone.

[00:15:34] Dr. Valencia: More reckless.

[00:15:35] Brian: Hey, actually, can I get it without a lid? This is awesome.

[00:15:43] Brian: When I got home, I organized the clothes into my closet by neither style nor color. I was feeling freedom coarse through my veins.

[00:15:50] Brian: I was alive, baby. And then:

[00:15:54] Claire: Hey... been thinking about you since you left the store in those JNCO jeans, something tells me you're packing some serious heat. Don't make me wait until we're on the El Toro. Show me what you got? Eggplant emoji.

[00:16:11] Lisa: Whoa. I'm sorry. She sent you an eggplant emoji.

[00:16:14] Angela: Wait, girls send eggplant emojis? Hetero girls?

[00:16:17] Henry: All the time.

[00:16:18] Henry: Dude, my inbox be blowing up with eggplant emojis.

[00:16:21] Angela: Ew.

[00:16:22] Henry: Uh, that's shaming.

[00:16:22] Kevin: But hey man, the recklessness stopped there, right? I mean, you don't know what she could do with that photo. You barely knew this girl.

[00:16:30] Brian: I am just making sure you are consensually asking for a picture of my p****,

[00:16:36] Claire: eggplant emoji times three.

[00:16:40] Claire: Yes.

[00:16:41] Brian: This was a bad idea. I felt the shame welling up threatening to take me when--

[00:16:47] Dr. Valencia: wow. This is really, really reckless of you to bail.

[00:16:51] Brian: Dr. Valencia. I didn't know you were here. Um, wait. You, you think this is too much?

[00:16:56] Dr. Valencia: No, I was being sarcastic. I'm gonna have to punish you for shaming yourself.

[00:17:01] Brian: What do you mean Dr. Valencia?

[00:17:04] Dr. Valencia: Take off your clothes.

[00:17:05] Brian: But my super fine merino wool vest. It's gonna wrinkle if I --

[00:17:08] Dr. Valencia: Take it off. Now, open up your computer.

[00:17:14] Brian: Wait, are are you doing this?

[00:17:18] Dr. Valencia: It's hypnotherapy.

[00:17:20] Brian: My insurance doesn't cover that. www.pornhub.com. Search bar... therapists. Dr. Valencia, why are you doing this to me?

[00:17:34] Dr. Valencia: Do you wanna lead a life governed by shame?

[00:17:38] Dr. Valencia: Do you wanna be reckless?

[00:17:46] Brian: I like this. I subtly framed in the SK ii bottles in a few of my haphazardly stacked art books for scale.

[00:17:57] Claire: Happy Face, can't wait to ride rides and ride you next week.

[00:18:04] Brian: It worked. My shame is gone. My shame is gone! Dr. Valencia. It's gone.

[00:18:11] Dr. Valencia: Very good. What do we do now? Nothing. Just enjoy.

[00:18:18] Pornstar: Mm. Do you know what a Freudian slip is?

[00:18:22] Porstar 2: I don't know. Doctor, you show me.

Marker

---

[00:18:26] Digital Receptionist: Reminder 4:00 PM Dr. Valencia.

[00:18:28] Brian: It had been a whole week. My room was strewn with random takeout containers and dirty tissues, and time had just flown completely.

[00:18:37] Brian: And even though I had spent most of my time completely recklessly watching porn, not once did I feel bad about anything. I couldn't wait to see Dr. Valencia later to tell her that her strategy had worked. I clicked down the street with a hop in my step and on the way to the office I saw the bodega where I bought my Powerball ticket in.

[00:18:58] Brian: Hey man, how's it going? Remember me?

[00:19:02] 7-11 Employee: Ah, you're the guy that called me 'Broseph.'

[00:19:05] Brian: Yeah, I am. And you know what? I would normally feel super self-conscious that you brought it up, but I'm practicing radical acceptance, and I'm okay with it now. Actually, I think I'm gonna get another Powerball ticket.

[00:19:17] 7-11 Employee: Okay. What numbers do you want?

[00:19:19] Brian: Same numbers as last time, four. 14, 24, 34, 40, 44.

[00:19:26] 7-11 Employee: الله

[00:19:27] 7-11 Employee: أكبر....

[00:19:27] Brian: it's a superstition. Four doesn't actually mean death.

[00:19:31] 7-11 Employee: Those numbers came in 4 14 30, 4 40, 44.

[00:19:35] Brian: Damnit. I was off by one number.

[00:19:37] 7-11 Employee: Yeah, you are off by one number, but you still won. You won a million dollars.

[00:19:43] Brian: f*** really? I can finally out -allowance Sean!

[00:19:47] 7-11 Employee: You are a millionaire. We had a millionaire in my shop. This shop. Can you believe it? Bojangles. Where's the ticket? I'll, I'll close out the shop right now.

[00:19:56] Brian: I threw it out.

[00:19:57] 7-11 Employee: Wait, you threw it out?

[00:19:58] Brian: Yes, I was being reckless. Wait, I know where it is, though. I'll go home and get it.

[00:20:03] 7-11 Employee: Okay, my friend hurry up. Let's go. Let's go.

[00:20:07] Brian: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? What the f***, Andrew? What? What happened?

[00:20:11] Andrew: I cleaned your room because I'm the best roommate ever. You're welcome.

[00:20:14] Brian: This is my stuff. You never clean anything and all of a sudden you wanted to clean my room???

[00:20:18] Andrew: Dude, I had to. Your room has been f***ing disgusting. You need to stop watching PornHub all the time.

[00:20:23] Andrew: Don't you have any shame?

[00:20:24] Brian: No. Where's the trash?

[00:20:27] Andrew: I threw it on the curb. It's garbage day.

[00:20:31] Brian: Hey, wait, wait. Please wait.

[00:20:38] Brian: I jumped onto the back step of the truck holding on for dear life. I watched that the minutes took closer to my 4:00 PM appointment slot. My arms were so tired from all of my porn hub activities that week that it was damn near impossible to hang on.

[00:20:51] Brian: But then, we got to the waste processing facility.

[00:20:58] Brian: Where are you? Where are you? Where are you, please? Where are you? I searched erratically through the nasty dog pile of NYC garbage for a bag full of used tissues.

[00:21:09] Brian: Come on, come on. Come on, please. Come on. Ah, yes.

[00:21:19] Brian: Luckily, the bag was still in good shape. All the tissues kept it protected from the heavy trash. I tore through it, searching for the crumpled up ticket.

[00:21:31] Brian: I'm back. I've got it. I've got it. Bojangles!

[00:21:33] 7-11 Employee: Ugh. What'd you do to this ticket? It's sticky.

[00:21:36] Brian: Now, normally I would be ashamed to say, but I'm practicing radical acceptance.

[00:21:42] 7-11 Employee: Nevermind, I, I don't want to know.

[00:21:44] 7-11 Employee: Congratulations. Hey, you know it's to tip the vendor if you win, brother.

[00:21:52] Digital Receptionist: Dr. Valencia has just wrapped up for the day.

[00:21:55] Brian: Oh, no, no, no, no. It's me, Brian, Dr. Valencia 's 4:00 PM. I'm really late. I know, I know. But this is important. Please. I have to see her.

[00:22:03] Digital Receptionist: Please call to schedule another appointment.

[00:22:05] Brian: Please. Come on, please.

[00:22:07] Brian: I really need to talk to her!

[00:22:11] Dr. Valencia: Brian, please sit down. What happened to you so much?

[00:22:17] Brian: Whoa. I've been really, really good, actually.

[00:22:23] Dr. Valencia: Okay. Well you're very late. My assistant said you sounded like you were in crisis !

[00:22:28] Brian: Crisis? More like ecstasy. I think I'm done with therapy.

[00:22:35] Dr. Valencia: Uh, okay. Well, it, it doesn't look that way from here. Uh, I mean, non-judgmentally.

[00:22:42] Brian: I did exactly what you told me to do. I was reckless, reckless, I'm not sure. I, it's been great.

[00:22:52] Brian: It's been so great. I've been more successful and shame-free this past week than I've ever been in my entire life, and I owe it all to you.

[00:23:00] Dr. Valencia: Uh, I'm not sure I am following well.

[00:23:04] Brian: In other words, I just lived this last week, the most irresponsibly, impulsively, and sexually liberated I have ever been--

[00:23:13] Dr. Valencia: Brian--

[00:23:14] Brian: --and it really paid off. You see, I feel nothing. Well, emotionally, I mean.

[00:23:20] Dr. Valencia: Okay. Hold on, Brian.

[00:23:21] Brian: But I, I also don't feel much physically in certain parts of my body, but I think that's just from other things, you know, and it'll just come back anyway.

[00:23:28] Dr. Valencia: Hey, Brian... Brian. Okay. Let's revisit what we spoke about last session because it seems like there's a little bit of confusion.

[00:23:39] Dr. Valencia: Okay. I recall suggesting you should imagine what your life would look like if you were more reckless. It was merely a suggestion to think about, not act upon.

[00:23:52] Brian: Dr. Valencia. Let me properly thank you.

[00:23:56] Dr. Valencia: Brian, you're, you're clearly in crisis.

[00:23:59] Brian: I think it's time we finally speak our truths. I know you want me.

[00:24:05] Dr. Valencia: Oh, not again.

[00:24:09] Brian: Did you file the claims for my insurance or am I gonna get a bill to do it myself?

[00:24:13] Brian: I decided, f*** Dr. Valencia. Recklessness has consequences, and she was a hypocrite. She may not have been proud of me, but I was a millionaire. I cashed out my bank account and headed over to ...

[00:24:27] Yoojin: Brian?! What happened to you? You're covered in garbage and oh, sticky tissue. Sean, it's Brian. Come inside.

[00:24:42] Brian: Woo. I'm glad you're here, Sean. I brought a gift.

[00:24:47] Sean: Ugh. You smell like the bargain bar at Flash Dancers.

[00:24:51] Brian: Oh. You've been ?

[00:24:53] Sean: Well, we did get banned at Circle

[00:24:55] Yoojin: Brian. We've been so worried about you.

[00:24:59] Brian: Oh, Umma. This is for you, huh?

[00:25:05] Yoojin: What's this?

[00:25:06] Brian: Open it.

[00:25:07] Brian: It's 11 grand. Count it. It's a long story, but finally I can be the kind of Sean, I mean, son, you've always wanted me to be, mom. I can provide for you.

[00:25:23] Yoojin: I knew it. Brian. 엄마 어떻게 어떻게 해? Why? I can't accept this.

[00:25:32] Brian: What do you mean?

[00:25:35] Yoojin: Oh, my son is a criminal.

[00:25:37] Sean: We've been trying to reach you all week, but your phone's broken.

[00:25:40] Sean: Your mom found pills in the purse you gifted her. The Louis bag. It's full of Oxy, xans, Special k?

[00:25:47] Yoojin: Oh. Umma wanted you to be successful for yourself. Wanted you to be happy to have a good life, not be a drug dealer. Umma loves you so much. Please, I cannot accept this blood money!!!

[00:26:05] Brian: It was the first time my Umma ever showed any real affection for me, and it was all because she thought I'd turn to crime, and then came my breakthrough:

[00:26:15] Brian: I had been living my life to achieve success, financial security for my mom's happiness. But faced with the thought that I turned a crime for her approval, those things didn't matter to her.

[00:26:26] Brian: All this recklessness was crashing hard, but I still had one perk from my recklessness I could turn to.

[00:26:35] Claire: I don't understand. Am I doing something wrong? Did the rollercoaster have too many Gs?

[00:26:41] Brian: No, I, I just can't get there. I think I've just been watching too much porn.

[00:26:48] Claire: Too much porn. Like how much porn do you watch? Exactly.

[00:26:53] Brian: As much as I want. Look, I don't think it's fair to shame me about it. Listen, can you put on those glasses?

[00:27:03] Claire: These?

[00:27:04] Brian: Yeah. And maybe say something therapist like, Ooh, I want to radically accept that d***.

[00:27:13] Claire: I want to radically accept that d***.

[00:27:18] Brian: Yeah, it's not working.

[00:27:19] Claire: No.

[00:27:20] Brian: I'm sorry.

[00:27:20] Claire: Okay, that's fine. But like, what about me?

[00:27:25] Brian: I don't know. I'm not really feeling it.

[00:27:28] Yoojin: Reckless. What is a reckless?

[00:27:33] Brian: I should not have snorted that.

[00:27:35] Brian: I think I just need to be alone.

[00:27:36] Claire: Okay. Are you kicking me out?

[00:27:38] Brian: No, I mean, yeah. Can you just get out?

[00:27:42] Claire: I mean, I put on the glasses, I styled your wardrobe. We had a religious experience on the El Toro, and this is how you treat me? Wow. Okay. I know it seems like I just do sh** like this, but I don't just do sh** like this.

[00:27:56] Claire: I thought we had a connection. I, I thought you were my ride or die.

[00:28:00] Yoojin: You want Umma--

[00:28:01] Dr. Valencia: mama to die?

[00:28:02] Brian: This is all a lot, and I just need you to go away, like, now.

[00:28:09] Angela: And then what happened?

[00:28:10] Brian: After I came down from my Viagra High, I realized I misconstrued Dr. Valencia's advice. I had gone down the same rabbit hole of overperforming that I did with my parents as I did with her.

[00:28:23] Brian: My stint of recklessness reaped more damage than it did benefits. But despite my now full blown porn addiction and falling into a literal c*m dumpster, I had figured out what I really wanted all along: self-acceptance. So, yeah, I still gave Dr. Valencia five stars on Zoc Doc.

[00:28:42] Angela: That's really generous of you, Brian.

[00:28:47] Henry: Are you really a millionaire now, Brian? 'cause if so, why haven't you donated to my Patreon yet? We put out new content on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

[00:28:55] Brian: There was only one thing I didn't understand though, Lisa, why were there so many pills in the bag you gave me?

[00:29:02] Lisa: What? Uh uh uh, maybe it.

[00:29:07] Henry: Are you, are you popping pills?

[00:29:10] Henry: Well, I'll be damned. You could have told us you were struggling. Lisa.

[00:29:14] Angela: Look, I, I don't judge, and I know you're under a lot of pressure, but do you think that's a good idea? I mean, this job is like really fresh for you, right?

[00:29:22] Heckler: Hey, is that, that d*** from the open mic who said babies should be banned from planes?

[00:29:28] Henry: Uh, it is not. It's, uh, me, Aziz Ansari, woo.

[00:29:34] Kevin: Oh my God. We are never going to be able to eat here again.

[00:29:37] Heckler: Hey, I heard him say he's Aziz Ansari !

[00:29:40] Lisa: Oh, could everyone just shut up? Okay. So yeah, maybe I had a few pills in my bag. It's fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. I just, I just needed some retail therapy and Xanax are like 10 bucks a pop.

[00:29:52] Angela: I suspected that handbag was acquired through back channels. Who knew the dark web is such a fashion forward place?

[00:29:58] Sanjay: There is no shame in it. Lisa. My cousins in Jackson Heights do the same thing. If a few pills fall off the counter into a baggie, into someone's pocket for recreational use, no one cares.

[00:30:09] Brian: Does this mean you could get me like, um, you know, some black market Viagra or something?

[00:30:14] Sanjay: Yeah, it'd be nice not to have to owe my cousins for everything. Work has been pretty stressful lately. Managing a comedian's PR and crisis is pretty tough stuff.

[00:30:23] Angela: I've been having a lot of identity dysphoria lately. Do you have, um, anything that would work for that?

[00:30:27] Lisa: Maybe. We will see. Just can we just stop talking about it right now?

[00:30:33] Henry: Hey, what, what, what the?

[00:30:34] Daisy: You are not Aziz!

[00:30:35] Sanjay: I got it. This is gonna go viral.

[00:30:37] Angela: Wait, Daisy, is that, is that you?

[00:30:41] Daisy: Angela? It's been a long time.