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Welcome to Parents Night out with no New Friends.

The comedy break every parent deserves.

This is the podcast where parenting meets pure unfiltered fun.

Real raw hilarity.

It's your night out without the kids, where nothing is off limits.

And we say what everybody else is thinking.

Whether you're a parent or just need a good laugh.

We've got the adult humor you crave.

So kick back, relax and get ready to let loose with us.

This is Parents Night out with no New Friends.

Tuck your kids into bed, pay the babysitter a little bit extra.

It's time for Parents Night out with no New Friends.

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Just check out our website, no New Friends podcast dot com.

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You're in.

You're in, buddy.

Also, we are recording live, streaming live on the YouTube 8pm Eastern Standard Time every sing Monday night.

And also we go live from the theme parks on TikTok once a week at the parks.

New new friends.

My name is Scott.

I'm the host.

With me as always, the scumbag reselling hoarder himself, Chris.

Go Birds.

The Jewish American princess, Sarah.

Hello.

Our emotional support, gay Nick.

Are you talking about Big Bird?

The wise man, Darren.com.

it's Clover in Time and our producer, Alex.

Life is like a pepperoni pizza pie.

Sometimes you gotta say it.

And I pineapple.

I know we have a lot to get to tonight, but I'm like, coming down with a cold.

It, like started yesterday and I've taken four different medications in the last 15 minutes just to try to like, knock it out of my system.

So hopefully I make it through this episode without, like, losing my mind.

But.

But I've definitely, like, definitely.

I.

I don't know.

I.

I've taken too much.

Are you also getting a cold?

What?

Are you also getting a cold?

Yeah, you said coming down.

Oh, my best jokes are the ones you have to explain.

But I hate it.

I hate.

I hate getting sick.

And.

And I've got this trip to Mexico next week, so it's like.

I guess it's better that it's like this week that it's happening to me.

And I've been dumb as hell.

Like, I felt.

I forgot you're going to Mexico because your wife didn't book the trip through same Pepper vacation.

I forgot about that.

And if you want to not have Nick give you a guilt trip for a year, make sure you book your vacations through Sandpiper Vacations.

Just reach out to them.

Sandpiper vacations.com.

tell them that the Parents Night out podcast.

Tell them that new New Friends sent you.

Somebody.

It's just somebody's not you.

Somebody sent you.

Somebody from this show sent you.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I guess I'm lucky that I got it this week and not next week because now I have a chance to kick it.

But I've been dumb.

And I went yesterday, I went to Epcot with Rachel.

What's the wait?

What's next week?

Mexico.

I just said that I was.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

So, yeah, yesterday went to Epcot, today went to Magic Kingdom.

But before we get into Magic Kingdom, we've got just the tip of sports with Nick.

That's it.

We got more than the tip today.

We have a full on touchback down action, I think.

Okay.

Touch back down action.

Made perfect sense, right?

Yep.

Yeah, that sounds perfect right there.

Yep.

Sarah's like, that sounded good.

I believe him.

Yeah.

I don't know if you guys watched last night, but it was the commercials.

The commercials.

And then there was like a game in between.

There were some good commercials.

There were some really good commercials.

And there was like some deep ones this year.

The Harrison Ford one.

There's one about, I don't know, there's one about obesity.

And it just made me think of Scott right away.

But it was like, right on point of, like, we're all obese right now.

Like, fix it.

Or how about the.

The.

The.

The cancer kid with the bo.

The boxing.

Like, he rang the bell and he was wearing.

He looked like Rocky and he ran up the steps because he just beat cancer.

I'm like, not me crying before the game even starts.

I'll be honest, I missed half of them because we didn't know where the sports game was anymore.

Apparently.

Apparently it's on.

Is it FUBU tv?

Hold on.

Oh, yeah, I was.

I watched it on tubi this time.

I don't know.

I didn't know where to watch it.

So I just.

Sean and I both literally turn on the Apple tv.

We're like, play ball.

And it just found it there, I guess.

So Fox it was just on Fox.

No, they wouldn't show it unless you watched it on cable.

Fox News.

Not Fox News.

Fox Sports.

And the Fox Channel was promoting it to watch it on tv.

I watched it on Hulu.

Yeah, I know, because you pay for the sports.

Oh, no, I paid.

No, I paid for the regular basic package.

No, you pay for Hulu Live, which also is like cable.

So that's why you were able to watch it on Fox.

Yes.

Gotcha.

Miranda says she loves the sloth commercial.

Yes.

That was.

Yeah, that was a good one, too.

Yeah.

Clearly we don't have sports networks in our house or know where to find them, but we found it eventually.

I watched the guys.

From what Piper said, she thought they were just in a black color, but apparently it was green.

It did look black on Tubi.

Yeah.

Yeah, Definitely look black.

It was a very dark color.

She's like, February.

She's like, what team are we rooting for?

And I was like, I don't care.

Just any Taylor's team.

But I don't think she won, right?

She did not.

She did not.

Well, that sucks.

Yeah.

She did not win.

She.

She had a.

She had a rough night.

Do you think she's still got action, though?

I think he's gonna.

I think his dick's gonna be limp for a while.

Honest with you.

That was a beating.

They got beat off the whole game.

They beat down the whole game.

Sorry I missed that.

I missed that part.

You missed the beating off.

I missed the beating out.

Jacking.

Yeah.

So it was sports and congrats to your team, Chris.

Thank you.

It's your team, right?

You on it.

Yes.

How could you?

Yes.

Cuz I think gave it away.

You paid the taxes.

I think you said in one episode.

And I.

I think you're right.

Something about that.

I think that's what works.

Yes.

I think that's.

I did say at one point, I said, you know, congratulations to Chris's team.

I'm so happy for him.

And I think it was.

Darren was like.

Did he play?

Like, was he playing last night?

No, he's nursing an Achilles engine.

My heart rate was the same as most of the Eagles.

I didn't see a lot of the commercials because I have a horrible.

Like, watching the super bowl in the Eagles is the least fun thing I could do all year.

First of all, three hours of one day a year will determine my mental health for the next year.

So that's already stressful.

I wake up pit in my stomach, diarrhea three times.

Then I.

You have to wait till 6:30 and then it's not even fun to watch the game.

I can't sit down.

I'm standing the whole time.

I get it.

I get it.

And like, I've never experienced that.

So the super bowl is just the thing that happens at the, in.

In February.

Yeah.

Which you could relax and eat T.

Yeah.

So much snacks.

Yes.

I have to be 100 sober.

I can't have a sip of alcohol.

I.

I pace the floor.

So I, I did not see most of the commercials because I'm pacing my kitchen.

I have to leave the room and do some pacing.

And it was, it's the most stressful thing.

After we went up like 24, nothing started to get a little bit easier and especially when there was three minutes left in the game.

They did the Gatorade shower with three minutes left.

I was like, okay, I think we have this in the back.

Three minutes left.

He's finally excited.

Yeah.

But then Mahomes threw that bomb.

I know there's a bomb.

I don't think we can say that on there.

It's the golden age of American.

Yeah, it's true.

But yes.

Cried.

I didn't cry as much as I did the first super bowl, but I did get teary eyed when I saw Jalen Hurts raise the Lombardi trophy.

Because I've only got to see that in Madden so far.

So seeing it, so seeing it in person was pretty magical.

And then just imagining all of the Giants fans weeping that they at their best player on their team, walked, went to the Eagles and won a Super bowl the next year was just icing on the cake for me.

But yes, that was my experience.

Then I went live and smashed all of Scott's Tik Tok records.

Waiting outside of Dick Sporting Goods for this hat.

Yeah.

So.

So Chris FaceTimes me and he's.

He, he decided to, to go to Dicks.

And I said, I didn't know you were going to Nick's tonight.

Found out it was Dick.

Say that Dick Sporting Goods.

And I'm like, oh, what are you doing there?

And the line of Eagles fans to pick up the super bowl merchandise, which Chris is wearing the hat and the shirt.

And I was like, dude, go live.

Like, what?

Why are you just FaceTiming me?

Go live?

And, and, and I, I feel like I, like, I loosened the jar for you because I went live earlier in the day.

Had a pretty good live at Epcot and so the algorithm was already picked up.

So I, I go and I watch Chris's live and he's up to 750 people watching it.

I've never.

I've never hit over four.

Like, 408, I think, was my.

My.

My peak.

And it was only for, like, 15 seconds, and then it plummeted.

The funniest part was also that Scott is very nervous about what he says on the TikTok lives, and because he's afraid that people.

He'll get Shadow banned and stuff.

I am, like, cursing people out.

I, like, there's Chiefs fans, and I'm calling them bums and telling them their team is ass.

And I'm.

And until the viewers just kept going up.

It was insane.

Maybe we'll just change this to a sports podcast now we're on the something here.

So, Nick, here's.

Here's the problem.

We.

We have, like, zero hope for our future because literally, you know.

You know how like.

Like, I'll comment something and then I'll put.

I'll.

I'll pin it, right?

And I said, chris is waiting for super bowl merchandise at Dick's Sporting Goods.

Every time I posted that people, like, 15 people in a row.

What is he waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

What are you.

I'm like.

I think at one point I was also like, hey, what are you waiting for?

No, exactly.

Exactly what he was waiting for.

Kind.

It was kind of like the time that you went to the Magic Kingdom, and we're like, oh, my God.

Is it the castle on fire?

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Yes.

I guess that was my revenge.

Yeah, but I.

Dude, I'm sure the environment was.

Was electric.

Absolutely electric.

It was.

It was great.

It was like, 20 degrees.

I couldn't feel my hand.

I keep switching hands.

My hand kept freezing holding the phone.

But it was.

It was the best.

It was the absolute.

There was a DJ in there.

Oh, that's cool.

There was a DJ in the Indic Sporting Goods.

There was a old lady with a megaphone, and nothing gets me fired up like an old lady with a megaphone.

Was she asking you to repent?

The end is near.

Well, how'd you know after the Eagles won a second Super Bowl?

Yeah, I think the end might be new.

I don't think that's supposed to happen.

So I.

I am an honorary Eagles fan this year.

I was pulling for you.

This was the first opportunity that I had to pull for your team because the last time the Eagles were in the Super Bowl, I randomly was assigned the Chiefs and the job.

Playoff pool.

So Chiefs won me about, what, 350 bucks?

So I Couldn't root for the Eagles then, so I was rooting for the Eagles hardcore this time.

Very exciting.

So I decide, you know what, I'm off on Monday.

Super bowl parade is at Magic Kingdom.

Why not go?

And I got to tell you, it was so exciting, Chris.

The Eagles fans everywhere.

Oh yeah, everywhere.

And all day.

All day.

And like, you know, I'll experience this when I, when I see another Florida State fan, I'll be like, go Knolls and whatever.

Go ns.

But this was all day, Go Birds.

Go Birds.

Go Birds.

And then just random E, A, G, L, E, S, eos.

Yeah.

All day.

All day.

It's like in church, Scott, when they say make an offering of peace and you just shake hands.

Right?

It's.

It's eternal.

Yes, Go Birds.

Yeah, it's just, it's an eternal peace offering.

Yeah.

So I decided to.

It was myself, Remy and Darren and went live for, for the parade.

Now we, we got our spot and it was a great spot.

And if you want to see the video, it's on Tik Tok at the parks New friends.

Just go to our, our website.

All of our links are there and there's video on Tick Tock.

There's gonna be one on Instagram later.

But we got a great spot.

Got there at about five minutes till two and the parade started at 2:30.

So I like there were people lined up from 11 o'clock to like sit on the like Nick, you know, you know.

Surprising.

Yeah.

You know, when there's a special event, they get there, they camp out.

You know, they're the first ones in the park 6am or you know, at rope drop.

And they found their spot by trash can number four.

And they're just going to sit there all day.

Well, we get right up to our spot at 10 minutes till and it was like a perfect vantage point because he's up high on a float.

So it's not like you have to be in the front row.

You know, in fact, the front row is probably worse.

So 2 o'clock starts the like Mickey's Friendship Fair show or whatever at the the Castle, which was fine, it was cute, whatever.

But we had already seen the first part of it three times earlier.

Every time we pass it's like the show's starting.

But at least I had like something to entertain Tick Tock Live because of course I went live, but only like there was only like 65 people in there.

And I'm like, well this sucks.

Like this is like a once in a lifetime super bowl parade.

Well not necessarily, but like, you know, you don't get these very often and only 65 people are going to see it.

I'm like, I bet you that dickwad Kirk down the road's gonna have like a thousand people in there because, huh.

You know Kurt Kirk.

Yeah, he's a good guy.

Yeah.

So, so I'm, I'm the, the, the show ends.

The make end.

Gosh, bless those performers.

They're probably going back to the green room.

Like, wow, there's so many people to see us during this show.

Like we've never performed to that many.

People before because none of them know what happened yesterday.

I.

No, they're.

They're all gay men.

Correct.

These are all.

They, they know who won the last there five Tony's, but they have no idea who won last night or what's happening.

So the show ends and Tik Tok must have started pushing us out because like we're growing slowly, like 150, 200, 250.

So at one point, like we get to 400, I'm like, Darren, look.

400.

And, and this is still like what, 10 minutes before the parade starts.

And then like there's an announcement, you know, join us in just a few minutes for Super Bowl MVP Jalen Hurt.

That's so co.

And such a cool tradition.

It is.

And then the crowd erupts.

Everybody's going crazy.

They're singing the song, they're.

They're doing the chant.

And Chris, how many did you have in your live yesterday?

You said what, 750.

It was like, I think 3.5 thousand.

It was like 750 maybe.

Yeah, stop counting at 750s.

It was 750.

So I didn't want to advertise a canoe.

That's usually double what you get.

So I, you know what?

Well, I was going to suggest maybe you should go to some big box retail stores side.

That's the funny thing.

Chris calls me after his live and I was like, hey.

He's like, hey, what's the highest you've ever gotten on a live stream?

And I'm like, I saw you did like 750.

And I was so upset.

It's a game we do because Scott will go to Disney and then sometimes I will do something super weird and say the most obscene things.

And we, we do like TikTok battles, just not against each other live, right?

Oh yeah.

It drove me nuts.

There was one night with like, I'm always very careful about what I say and Chris is here just f face or f tick tock and this like, breaking every rule.

I'm like, bro, calm down.

And he's got like 50 people watching him all freaking night.

I'm like, what?

What does a guy have to do to get five people to just watch for, you know, consistent stream?

So we're getting closer to parade time.

All of a sudden we get to 650 and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm gonna get close to Chris.

But then within 30 seconds, 750.

And then Nick.

850, 950.

And I'm like, holy crap.

Like, we may break a thousand.

Thousand.

1.1.

So by the time Jalen Hurts comes out, we're at 2, 600.

Yeah, dude.

Good for him.

Jalen Hurts.

He's gay now.

What?

Wow.

Breaking news.

Breaking news.

Jalen Hurts is gay now.

So we hit 2600 people.

You hit 26.

Oh, my God, stop.

Do you worry about what I do on Tick tocking people?

We had 2, 600 people in our live, which was super exciting.

Have never achieved that.

Ask me how much money we made during that live.

Oh, wow.

$0.06.

I made 2 cents yesterday, so I.

Guess that's 6 cents there.

I guess, I guess that's.

Yeah.

2 cents per 700 people.

Yeah, but it's so hard to get tick tock coins now.

So, like, that's why, like, I put my Venmo and Cash app, Lincoln bio, also my credit card information and how.

Much you make from that?

Nothing.

Can you imagine someone on TikTok?

Wow, man.

Where can I donate to this guy?

I need to donate to this guy.

Listen, I've donated to my second liberal boy the other day, a little gay guy, Johnny.

I bet you he voted for Trump.

He's just trolling probably.

Hey, but it worked.

He had me.

Now.

Now you know what to do.

Yeah.

So super fun time.

But Chris, I have to.

So Chris, we know is an avid gambler, right?

You dabble, you dabble.

I don't know what.

So my family does stupid prop bets every year and I, you know, I included everybody from our group text and.

And Chris was the only one who's like, yep.

So I was like, okay.

Came up with this thing.

It was like a seven dollar pot because it was a dollar buy in.

Sarah's like, wow, that's pretty cheap.

Yeah, seven dollar pot.

I was more thinking, I'm not even gonna put the dollar in, but.

So nobody playing for potential.

Yeah.

Now see, next year.

So Chris starts talking to me about like all these bets that he's made.

And I'm like, you know what?

Why not?

So I put 150 into hard rock bets, and I'm spreading my bets all over.

What's the score going to be?

Or, you know, who's going to be winning at halftime?

Who's going to win the game?

Over under on yards, over, under on.

On individual yards.

All these, all these bets.

Just little ten dollar bets here and there.

And I'm like, okay, you know, I still have.

I still have like 70 bucks in here.

I didn't.

You know, I didn't.

I did seven.

Seven bets, which.

Pause your story, because my story picks up here.

When Scott told me that he was gambling, I was like, man, I should probably wet the beak a little bit too.

So then I put money into my gambling account and started betting on insane things.

But not as insane as.

Not as insane as Scott.

When I was.

I was getting some very, very worrying texts from Scott.

Like, I just put $40 on the next play being a pass.

Like, like, like, literally like bets like that.

So he put 40.

He risked $40 for the next play to be a passing play.

Guess what?

It was not a passing.

So, so this is what happened.

I was sitting next to him.

I know.

So this is what happens.

I have a black eye.

So I start winning bets.

Okay?

I start winning some of these bets, and I'm like, well, this is really fun.

But, like, all my other bets, I have to wait till the end of the game to find out if I win.

So I find you can bet play by play.

Like, are they going to score on this drive?

Will the next play be a pass?

You sound like a virgin discovering porn for the first time.

So, so I go.

I go on a streak.

And I'm up.

I'm up.

So I'm like, all right, the, the.

The.

The dog in the next one is a pass.

I'm gonna put $40 on you because, like, if I hit, I'm gonna win like 500 bucks.

So $40 down wins me 500 bucks.

It was not a pass.

So I lose the $40.

Well, now, in fact, it was two runs in a row.

Yeah, now I'm down.

Okay?

Now I'm down and I don't have any.

Like, I don't have any money left in hard rock bets until.

Until the bets pay out at the end of the game.

So I upload another $75.

Oh, my God.

So now, now I'm, I'm.

I'm being smart about which bets I take.

Like, there's some strategy.

So I went on a six bet losing streak.

I lost six.

What?

After that 40, I was like on a six, six bet winning streak.

And then once I did that 40 bet, I lost six in a row, Nick.

Well, then you can't lose seven, right?

I didn't, I didn't because I uploaded, I deposited 75 more dollars.

$75.

So I'm in.

I'm in now.

$300 on hard rock bets.

And I'm waiting.

I like, because again, I've got payouts that are going to happen at the end.

Like, I know certain things are going to happen.

And so I've got to.

I've got.

I'm not going to bet any more than $10 per bet, but I have to bet the long shot.

So that long pass that Jalen hurts through for the touchdown in what, the third or fourth quarter won me about 80 bucks because I got.

Next pass or next play was a pass and like, I won, like, I don't know, $40 on that.

The Eagles scoring on that drive.

And then I hit the over on the third quarter score.

The over was at nine and a half and I hit 10.

So, like, so now I'm up.

So at the end of the night, at the end of the night, I was up $103.

Yeah.

I don't like this new hobby that we both are.

Are heavily influenced by.

Chris.

Here's the problem.

Here's the problem.

Now I'm hooked.

I'm making bets with Darren as to what Remy's going to be wearing today.

Speaking of.

Actually, I do need to settle this.

Okay.

Speaking of what Remy is wearing.

Remy, so I know that you're presenting yourself as an Eagles fan because you are.

You wore your Eagle shirt, but the Cuban link chain and the durag.

Were you trying to make people think you were from Philly?

Because I'll tell you what, I bought it.

It looked exactly like someone on the corner of K A in Philly.

Yeah.

And when he went through security, the metal detector went off.

He had a bunch of batteries in his.

In his pocket.

He's ready to throw at Mickey Mouse.

I bought it.

I bought it.

Yeah, definitely.

So, yeah, that was the first bet of the day.

I bet Darren a dollar what Remy was wearing.

Then I.

We look at.

We look at the line for the people mover, and I'm like, what do you.

How long do you think that.

That.

That wait time is?

And he goes, I don't know, let me check the app.

And I said the wait times never posted in the app, otherwise I would look.

And he Said, no, it's always on the app.

So I said, I bet you a dollar it's not in the app.

Lost a dollar.

So I'm making stupid bets.

I'm like.

I'm like, I bet you, you know.

You know, the next person we see walk out of the bathroom is gonna be wearing a blue shirt.

Oh, wow.

I've.

I've done a three team parlay for NBA tonight.

I'm.

This is.

This is now a thing for me.

I'm excited for this journey.

It's a.

It's a.

It's a.

It's the spiritual journey you've been needing.

Scott, I know you've been in a funk lately.

I think this is definitely what gets you out of that is the spiritual release of sports gambling.

I'm sure you find.

Wait till you start blackjack online.

Blackjack.

Oh, God.

I'm sure your wife's both like this hobby.

Yeah, my wife doesn't know about it.

Yeah, she thinks I'm very religious.

And as far as gambling goes now.

Darren informed me that you can bet on WWE matches.

And I'm like, oh, my God.

Like, this is amazing that I did not know.

You didn't know that.

I probably.

I probably tried not to learn.

Aren't those all scripted anyway?

Yeah.

I mean, so it's a Super bowl.

So I can find the script somewhere and just.

I feel like that's an easy way to get it.

I did win.

I did win Scott's family's prop.

Yeah, you did.

Thanks.

And I'm not kidding.

Thanks to Chat GPT, I can send you the screenshot.

I uploaded that to Chat GPT and I said, statistically, what would be the best options for each one it gave me?

Statistically, it's like it told me 5050 on every single one, but I think one or two.

They're like, maybe you should go this way.

All right, I will Chat GPT.

Yeah.

My sister just guessed.

I.

I love.

That's vintage.

That's vintage your sister.

I was gonna say her name, but I don't think we say her name, so that's vintage your sister.

I love doing prop bets because every time I'll bring, like, a stack of coins, I literally brought my dad nickels and dimes and said, here you go, here's your dollar.

Yeah.

Which I gave back to him because he won the bat.

So, Nick, anything else in just the Tip of Sports?

I feel like the halftime show we need.

We just need better performers.

You're a racist.

You said it.

Best performer.

Because I love Kendrick Lamar.

But that performance was.

I don't.

I don't know what was happening.

Wasn't it.

It was art to call out Trump.

And it wasn't though.

What's his face?

Drake.

It was.

It was all about Drake.

It had nothing to do with Trump.

But I think people were trying to grasp it.

They just.

To make it just a little bit interesting.

That is.

That had nothing.

Those have been.

That.

That symbology has been in his music videos forever.

He's just a weird guy.

And.

And no, it was all about Drake, which was very funny.

I love the whole Serena Williams thing.

I can't believe that happened.

Did you know.

Do you know about that?

Nick, you'd love that too.

I saw she was there.

Do you know why?

No, no.

It's Drake's ex girlfriend.

I don't even know anything about Drake.

Kendrick Lamar and Drake were in this baby.

He was in a show with Josh and.

And the song Not Like Us that Kendrick Lamar performed is actually.

If you look at the lyric, it's a whole song about how Drake's a pedophile.

Yeah, that's fun.

And at one point there was a line.

Just a minor.

Yeah.

Everybody in the stadiums chanted.

And at the Grammys.

When they performed at the Grammys.

Yeah.

Very humiliating.

The fact that he brought out the X.

He kept the receipts.

I.

I respected that.

The Amazon chain threw me off.

Do you think it's a bit.

What, him and Drake?

Yeah.

No, he hates him.

He's from Compton.

I don't.

I don't.

Whatever Kendrick Lamar wants to say, he just says it.

I think it's a bit.

No, because you don't want a pedophile.

Is a bit.

Wait a second.

Maybe it's a bit.

So, Nick, biggest takeaways from the game, in your opinion, what did you find most entertaining about the whole night?

The most entertaining thing was when it was over and I could switch to something else.

You know what?

That's fair.

Did you watch the Puppy bowl?

We watched some YouTube afterwards.

Yeah.

I've never seen the Puppy Bowl.

I was like, this is adorable.

I'm surprised.

I don't watch that one.

I've watched it in the past, but not this year.

Yeah, it was super cute.

Super cute.

Anything else, Nick?

No, that's it for sports.

We'll come back to you because I am.

I am dying.

I have a lot to talk about.

I know you do.

I know you do.

We have all been dying.

Dying to hear about Megacon.

Well, I forgot.

You forgot about Megacon Sunday?

No, I forgot it Was Super Bowl Sunday entirely.

I drove down.

Well, we drove down the street, and there were just cars everywhere.

I looked at Lewis, I said, what the hell is going on?

What is happening today?

Then I realized it was Super Bowl Sunday.

So that's why I've been lost for the last.

I don't know, Chris.

Could you imagine living in a world where you don't know it's a Super Bowl?

I.

That sounds glorious.

So nice.

It sounds so nice.

Sarah has a different super bowl every Sunday.

So she heard sometimes it's made out of glass, sometimes clay.

You know what, Chris?

You're right.

You can actually make plans on that Sunday because you're like, oh, I got nothing to do.

It's a Sunday.

And not have to take blood pressure medicine.

Like a bunch of.

Just really.

Right, right.

Save a lot of money by not making bets.

My blood pressure was skyrocketing.

Just listening to Chris talk about his reaction to the super bowl, the pacing and stuff.

It's toxic.

Oh, it's.

It is.

Like I said, it is.

The 99 of the game is just.

Just agony.

And then the last percent when they win.

It's the greatest day.

Like, it's.

I.

I do have to give my updated rank, and then I'll let everyone continue talking.

I'm just so amped about the Super Bowl.

Real quick.

In chat, Miranda says, I just loved all the sacking.

So do we.

The.

The.

I do have an updated tier list of.

Of moments of my life.

So number one thing in my life is the Eagles winning their first Super Bowl.

Okay, now coming in.

And now sliding into number two is now the Eagles winning their second Super Bowl.

Three is tied.

Birth of my child, marriage to my wife.

Where does the Vince McAle.

That's a.

That's just under marriage.

But anyway, Sarah, I am very worried about your story about Megacon, because I know what you were supposed to do, and I saw the pictures, and it didn't look like you completed everything you said.

I was.

Where did you see the pictures.

Chris?

I was.

I was thinking the same thing.

Yeah.

But also the fact that, you know, every week I text everybody, hey, does anybody have anything?

And usually Sarah's like, nope, I live a boring life.

Earlier in the weekend, before I even put the question out, Sarah's like, oh, do I have a tale to tell?

I was like, okay, I'm here for it.

But she's like.

She's like, but I'm gonna rage, vent, or whatever.

And I said, okay.

She mentioned trauma.

She's like, oh, yeah.

Wait, what Trauma dump.

And you guys were being so sweet, like, oh my gosh, Sarah, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

So I put the obligatory, I'm so sorry that you went through this, Sarah, without knowing.

And then I said, can we talk about it on the air?

So that was the whole plan.

Okay, well, I wasn't.

Listen, I don't know with you, something.

Interesting to tell you guys.

I can only tell it once and so I save it for on air.

Okay, I do that for you.

Oh, thank you.

I.

I'll start this off by saying you guys, you guys were all there when I announced that I.

I gifted our youngest child an experience to meet.

Millie Bobby Brown.

Yeah, quite a bit just by the pictures.

Let me look right into the camera.

Okay, listen, Millie Bobby Brown.

Bon Jovi.

I will mess you up.

Oh, she.

Oh, I have a kid behind me saying, no, you won't.

Wait, is she married to Bon Jovi?

Yeah.

Why?

Is Bon Jovi's son.

What?

What?

Oh, yeah, guys.

Yeah, she's.

She's married to, she's married to Bon Jovi's son Jake.

Isn't she like 12 still?

Yeah, no, no, she turned 18 a couple years ago.

Trust me, she's 18.

She said she was 18, man.

Oh my God.

So I'm, I'm showing a co worker of mine on Friday the list of celebrities that are going to be there and she's, she's shocked at all these people and I'm scrolling and I'm scrolling and I'm like, wait a second, why don't I see Millie Bobby Brown anymore?

She's under the canceled people.

Did you pay already for her?

Yeah.

Over $200?

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Please tell me you got a refund.

So just.

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I got a refund, but I'm, I'm still pissed at her.

All right.

Because my correspondence from Megacon came Thursday, like late, which is the first day of Megacon and I'm seeing it Friday and I have to tell a 10 year old that we're no longer seeing who she's been counting down to see.

All of her friends know, it's a thing.

I've been hyping it up.

So we were luckily able to exchange the tickets to go and meet the actors for Eddie Munson and Vecna.

I did see that.

That's really cool.

That's awesome.

Yes.

Yeah, I was like, who's the other guy?

Like, I know that that's AKA Johnny Storm, but.

Yeah.

And then the other one was Vecna.

I know him originally from Sweeney Todd, actually.

Wait, Twilight?

He's in Twilight?

He's one of the Voltairi.

Oh, he's got a great singing voice, though.

He does.

I digress.

Speaking of high blood pressure, Chris, Saturday Megacon is tens of thousands of people.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it.

I was thinking about that.

I saw all the lines and I'm like, this is just way too people for me.

Like, yeah, I saw the lines on Tick Tock today.

Yeah, today.

That didn't help me two days ago at all.

And that didn't help me two months ago when I bought the tickets.

All right.

Because have you.

Wait, have you never been to a megacon?

So last year we went on Sunday.

Okay.

And I didn't expect it to be like that.

I couldn't breathe.

I got.

I got really angry at people.

Nobody knows how to.

Scott.

I would have rather been at Magic Kingdom today.

It was a fun day.

Then.

No, no, no.

Then at Megacon on Saturday.

Yeah, that's like the peak day, right?

That's with all the good panels and whatnot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I would rather do Magic Kingdom any day of the week.

And we know how much I dislike Magic Kingdom and their lines and they're pushing.

Yes.

And I would much rather do that any day than do Megacon on a Saturday again.

So.

That was awful.

That was awful.

Sunday.

Much, much better.

Do they sell alcohol at Megacon?

See, I saw a couple of vendors with some beers stashed in random places, but I never saw them for sale, so they.

They probably brought those.

And I would, too.

Yeah, I.

Now they have security, but I'm bringing a flask next year.

So I, like.

I just can't pro tip empty out.

A bottle of Mountain Dew usually.

Well, you know my tactics.

Usually I just go, bottle of Dasani.

Yep.

You know, and that's my go to.

I go, bottle of sunblock.

Well, it's indoors.

Oh, that's.

Wait.

Don't discriminate against my medical condition.

No, no.

Oh, yeah, no, Right.

Then you still have the residue.

You saw the residue of the sun block.

Huh?

It's not real sunblock.

It's fake bottles of sunblock.

I talked about this when I went on my crew.

Like, I brought fake bottles of sunblock.

What?

My travel agent advice.

If you want to know how to smuggle things.

Different.

Different travel agents.

Yeah, that was.

That was the old one.

Yeah.

Different travel agent.

That's why you switched to Nick.

Yeah, exactly.

Scumbag Sean just.

Just commented the same Thing that Saturdays are usually the most packed and.

Thank you, Sean.

I'm gonna call you next year, okay, with my con advice because that two.

What is that, Scott?

Like two and a half miles from the convention center to, to Sand Lake Road.

And it took us about two and a half hours.

Oh my God.

For the convention we wanted to get Chick Fil A.

And the closest Chick Fil a closed at 9.

And I told Lewis, we're like, he, we're like, we're not gonna make it.

It's just, you know, and we were hopeful but we had to switch it to a different location to give us the extra hour and we made it at 9:30 after leaving Megacon at 7.

So.

Yes, and Sophia has become a second generation supernatural fanatic.

So she switched up her experience to Jared Padalecki.

So she had a great experience.

Everything went very smoothly for her.

That's all that matters.

So I'm about $500 out of pocket, you know, from the whole weekend.

I didn't gamble.

I just spent it on Funko Pops.

If you gamble, if you gamble, you have a better chance of making your money back than if you spend money at Megacon.

I consider this my own form of gambling, see, because if I leave the Funko Pops in the box and let them sit on the shelf long enough, they might rise in, in value.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Camera fe.

Is that kind of like my, Kind of like my Thai beanie babies, how they grew on value too.

That's an exception to the rule.

Okay?

I met a guy on the last day, very last booth we stopped at, and he's like, you.

I like you.

Here's my card.

I'm like, do you have a job for me?

Because I.

Don't worry.

Lewis was there.

He heard the interaction.

I, he's like you, you know your stuff.

I didn't realize.

I have a Funko Pop that's sitting on my shelf right now that's worth thousands of dollars.

Why?

Do you really?

Yeah, well, I'm not going to tell you because you might, you know, Chris, you know my address.

You sent me a Christmas card.

I'm not telling you.

I'm just kidding.

I, I have the.

Like, when Funko wasn't even Funko yet and they just came out with them, they released a set of the Beatles and I do not have the full set.

I have one singular beetle and it's my favorite.

It's a ring.

And you got the most popular one.

Nice investment.

He.

He's my Favorite.

Okay.

It wasn't supposed to be an investment.

I don't even know where I got it.

I think somebody gave it to me and I had it.

They got to be sick if they do.

It's ridiculous, because now that I think back to how much it's worth, it sat on my dashboard of my car in the Florida heat for, like, years.

It's fine.

It's in perfect condition.

It doesn't have a box or anything.

But are you going to sell it?

Hell, no.

Okay.

Okay.

So if you let them sit on your shelves long enough and then don't sell them, then there's no hope of making your money back.

They keep appreciating in value.

It's like.

But it's like art.

Like, when people keep art for forever.

Yeah.

But it doesn't matter if it appreciates in value if you don't sell it.

Yeah, it does, because then you're like, hey, I got this.

Look, all the people that I just have over to my house, I have this Funko Pop that's worth, like, $10,000.

Okay?

So you know about everything in my house.

I'm like, check out this thing that's worth a lot of money.

And then this thing that's worth a lot of money.

No, you can't have it.

Don't touch it.

Don't breathe on it.

So you get cool points.

Yeah, you're the coolest.

That's what I.

Yeah, that's what I strive for in life.

Rich people do with art, too.

When they have a bunch of art in their house, they're like, yeah, they.

Sell it at some point.

Yeah, but they sell it at some point.

At some point.

Yeah.

And at some point, it will get sold at some point will be after Sarah is long gone.

And my children both are very well aware that upon my demise, nothing gets sold without reaching out to, like, I don't know, Antiques Roadshow first.

I know how this is gonna go.

They're gonna make a lot of money off my cool finds.

I already know it.

And in my defense, my very expensive Ringo Star Funko Pop goes will go next to my.

I have a signed Ringo Star poster.

So it's all themed.

It's all themed.

It's a whole collection.

So it's worth even more to somebody.

Yeah, yeah.

But it's mine.

They can't have it.

So, overall, great weekend, guys.

Great weekend.

Saturday, did you have fun at all, or was it just terrible?

No, it was fun.

It was fun.

Saturday was a test of my patience and my medication.

Like, 100 and I'm gonna up my dosage.

But on that note, congrats over.

Thank you.

I.

Overall, it was a lot of fun, but definitely Fridays and Sundays from here on out.

Did you.

So which you went Saturday and what other day?

Saturday and Sunday.

Okay.

Yeah.

And we'd never done.

We'd never done a Saturday before.

But next year we'll starting like now till next year.

I'm thinking of a cosplay.

Oh, what are you going to be?

Yeah, what are you going to be?

I don't know.

All of us.

Are we invited?

Yeah, come along.

Yeah, buy your own tickets.

But come along.

Tag along as well.

Yeah, we can carpool.

We can carpool.

You guys are.

Is stupid.

Just sitting there.

Oh, my God.

I.

This year I wanted to do like a vault dweller because I.

I'm.

That's so good.

A Fallout game fan.

I'm not a Fallout.

I am a Fallout show fan, but I.

So good.

I'm an OG fan, like, of the game.

So I wanted to do that until I showed up this year.

And the girl who was the lead in Fallout was completely sold out of everything.

And every other person felt like they were a little vault dweller.

So we're gonna get creative next year.

I love that.

Well, I would love to come with you guys next year.

And then I'd love to go to Megacon with you as well.

Well invited to the latter part.

Nick, welcome back.

Thank you.

How was your cruise?

It was.

It was magical.

It was amazing.

Oh, good.

Best.

So we just got back from the Disney Treasure.

Treasure.

That's the new one, right?

That's the newest one.

Brand new one.

So this just come out in December, so.

Oh, wow.

That's the one with like the Haunted Mansion.

Yes.

Yeah, it's got a Haunted Mansion bar.

It's got a jungle cruise bar, a cocoa restaurant, which Sarah, like, we literally.

I think Sean even said pictures, videos, all of it.

The.

The cook restaurant was just incredible.

Like, we had two nights in there where they just told a story about Coco.

They had the Miguel in there and stuff, too.

The real.

The real Miguel.

It was just as an actor.

Guys, this is before he gets deported.

Before.

Oh, I didn't cry last week watching that movie.

It's fine.

It's like we're not going back.

That's what we need.

We need an AI of ice taking Miguel.

No.

I'd cry in five minutes.

Remember me.

Remember me.

I'm gonna cry all over again.

So this ship is the sister ship to the wish that we got to go on A couple years ago, when I first kind of hopped on the podcast, I think we were talking about it.

And this ship, it's very gorgeous.

It's themed after adventure, so the entire ship had fun theming.

It was Aladdin in the big atrium area.

Like I said, the Haunted mansion bar.

There was the Coca restaurants.

Going back to that.

It is a dinner and a show.

So you have performers singing live.

You have the mariachi band performing as well, too.

It's just.

It was a super fun environment, but they told a really awesome story and we cried both nights.

But let's go to the first night.

So Disney cruise in general, I get a lot of.

As you guys know, I'm a travel agent.

Scott doesn't know.

I had no idea.

I own a travel agency.

Some.

A little bit.

I've had Irish in me, some Mexican and Puerto Rican.

All of.

All of them, equal opportunity here, you.

Know, you don't have to anymore.

Well, I'm.

I'm standing with it.

Okay, Good for you.

Yes, yes.

So Disney cruises are not just for families.

It's not just for kids.

Like, they have an entire deck that's literally a deck.

Not a dick, a deck just for.

Just for a kid's play place, basically.

So they have these giant playgrounds in there, but they have a lot of adults only stuff on the ship.

And this ship created a lot more adults entertainment.

And not by entertainment, I mean, I don't mean porn.

Yeah, I was gonna say they've got strip clubs there.

It's Disney.

It's Disney.

So they still have to keep it somewhat pg, but they have this show on all their.

All of their ships called match your mates.

And match your mates is simply.

It's.

It's kind of like the.

The love show, I guess.

What's it called?

Basically.

Newlywed Game.

So three different couples get pulled up on stage.

There's like the newlyweds that are either brand new to being married or this new relationship type thing.

And then there's the old couple that have been together the longest time.

And then there's a couple that's kind of in the middle.

So they picked the newlywed, which wasn't really newlywed.

It was this guy that apparently was with this girl, but they broke up and then got back together.

There was a weird love triangle happening with him, and they had a big goggle of gays with them.

Oh, I'm pretty sure the guy was bisexual.

Is that what a group of gays is called?

A gas.

I thought it was a flamboyance gag.

Of gays is a group of gay guys.

Okay, well, flamboyance, the flamingos.

I call it a party.

It's just a Tuesday at Chris's house.

So they had a gaggle of gays with them.

So they're hitting and hollering.

The old couple have been together like 40 something years.

Nick, do you.

Do you try to.

When you see a gaggle gaze, you try to make it end that the night ended?

A gargle of games.

I don't.

I don't cuss and tell you.

I'll send you the videos.

Nick, you know what's so funny?

The other day I said something.

I don't remember what it was.

And my daughter looked at me like, funny.

I said, what?

I'm.

Or Rachel, whatever.

I looked at my wife and I was like, well, I am gay adjacent.

And she's like, oh, I know.

You can continue with your story.

We.

We all know.

So they pick those couples first, because those are kind of the easiest couples to figure out.

Who's oldest, who's the youngest.

So next, they needed a couple to kind of be in the middle, and.

Then I'll just sit in the middle.

You got, you got, you got where I'm going.

Sarah loves when we, when we do this.

So the host asks for any couples that wanted to volunteer.

And it was very quiet at first.

And I looked, I looked at Sean.

I was like, I want to do this.

I've always, I've always wanted to do it.

I've always been too shy to want to do it.

So I.

I stood up.

Why are we laughing?

Sorry.

Check your text message.

Say, give me five minutes.

I can't make any sensitive, sensitive situations.

And I was like, damn.

Sorry.

Continue, Mike, please.

So I.

I stand up and basically the host is like, we need whoever wants to do it to dance their way up to the stage.

So they start playing like, Austin Powers music.

And I'm probably dragging YouTube dragon Sean.

He's like, no, I don't want to do it.

And I'm like, come on, let's do it.

He.

He's more introverted than me.

Sure, to a point.

I'll get there.

So we go up there and the host is like, why?

Why should I pick you guys?

As there's another two couples coming from the balcony.

Why should I?

Because you guys.

And Nick says, because we're in open waters.

There is still dei.

I was like, spoiler alert.

We're gay.

The whole audience was just dying laughing at that point.

So then there's two couples coming from the balcony to try to.

Try to participate as well, too.

They're also trying to make their way down from the balcony.

The first couple is a lesbian, obviously.

Two females.

So she asked them.

She's like, is that how that works, Nick?

Yes, it's two females.

I thought.

I thought we graduated intro to gay.

I'm.

I just.

I just have to paint the picture for the new people.

Paint the picture for the Floridians that listen.

Yes.

So two lesbians.

Females.

I think there were females.

I didn't look.

I don't care what's down in their pants, but they looked like females to me.

So she asked them the same question, like, why.

Why should I pick you guys?

Or why should I pick you?

Shouldn't say, guys.

Why should I pick you?

And they said, we are national softball.

Softball champions.

Oh, no, they didn't have to say that.

She literally dropped out of her mouth.

The host was like, that is exactly what the guys just said.

We all lost it.

Oh, my God.

This is getting even more entertaining.

The third couple that comes down, another group of lesbians.

A couple of lesbians.

Group.

I don't know.

I don't know what you call two people that scissor a sheath of lesbians.

I forget what they said, because it doesn't matter.

But the audience voted, and Sean and I got picked to go on stage.

Oh, nice to do match or mate.

So if you're not familiar with kind of the newlyweds show, essentially, they.

They have the three couples up on stage.

They take one person from each couple and pull them out to a private room.

Okay, wait a second.

Now I'm interested in private room.

We.

Adult entertainment, Darren.

It's adult entertainment on a.

On a Disney cruise.

We got pulled out to get a free drink.

They got a strip show with Belle and.

And Rapunzel.

Okay.

With Flynn Rider and.

And Prince Adam.

There we go.

Okay.

Much better.

So I get pulled out with the two other guys.

By the way, chat says a pair of lesbians is a scissor sister.

Oh.

Oh, thank you, Sean.

Yeah, thank you.

All the paper in the room were just so nervous.

So I get pulled out, and basically the three of the three guys, minus Sean.

Sean stayed with the two women.

So we get pulled out to just be away from them while they get asked their questions.

So we don't hear their answers or anything like that.

So.

Makes sense.

We come back in, and basically the host asked us the questions, and we have to answer it as if we know what our spouse said.

So the first question that Sean Got asked was, describe your first date.

Oh, so I guessed it right because I remember our first date.

He remembers our first date.

We went to the movies.

We.

It was a bad movie, not good.

We.

We're trying to find dinner afterwards.

Couldn't find anywhere to eat, so we went to Taco Bell and then we made out in the car in the parking lot.

Long story short is that how you.

Avoid sex on the first date is going to Taco Bell.

I don't.

I feel like when we were younger, it's, it was much.

Taco Bell is much easier on.

Okay, I gotcha.

You're invincible.

Back then.

Yeah, 15 years ago.

Much easier.

So we got that question right.

So the next question is there's.

They played basically three Disney songs and they said think of these Disney songs as essentially your love life.

So the songs were A Whole New world from Aladdin.

Okay.

Almost there from Tiana.

Is that right?

Okay.

Yeah.

And then for the first time in forever from Frozen.

Frozen, yes.

Almost there and first time in forever sounds very adult entertainment.

Yes.

Right.

What I love about it is because Disney can just like touch on the adult entertainment question without going there.

That's amazing.

So one would think that maybe as a gay couple, we're like a whole new world every single night type thing.

Something like that.

Sean's response was almost there.

Oh, Scott, let me explain to you what that means.

When you are.

He knows what that means.

Rachel doesn't know.

My response was first time in forever.

So we, we got booed.

So Sean's third question and everybody else's is if your spouse was a superhero or Marvel superhero, what would their superhero be?

Or who would they be?

And she gave some examples because the two women sit next to me had no clue.

Any Marvel characters?

I think so.

Neither did you.

She's like, she's like, oh, it could be the Hulk.

It could be like Captain America, anything like that.

And she kept looking at me because I, I knew the answer.

Sean, superhero would be Spider Man.

Okay.

And you want to know why Spider Man?

Because the, because the white webbing.

Not just because of white webbing.

Because at one point.

And he shared this with the entire Disney cruise line audience who also were filming this.

Oh, God.

We will try to post it on YouTube later.

He told them that he took some ejaculation from me and threw it back at me like a spider web.

Oh my God.

My God.

So literally seven.

This is the first night on a seven day cruise.

We're walking around the entire ship and people are walking up to Us like, hey, Spider Man.

Hey, Spider Man.

No kidding.

We were walking to dinner one night.

This hot, gorgeous dad's walking out in the hallway with his two kids.

He's like, what's up, Spider Man?

With great power comes great responsibility.

So, Piper, the entire time, why are.

They calling you Spider Man?

I know.

People are just.

And my parents.

And my parents were on this cruise with us, too, and they.

Oh, no, they completely missed that show.

And they're like, oh, I'm so sad that we missed it.

I'm like, oh, I'm so sad.

So people are literally walking up to us with my parents next to me, saying, it's up, Spider Man.

Oh, my God.

So, Nick, question for you.

So that happened.

Yes.

Did the cruise record it?

Because I went on a Royal Caribbean a couple years ago and they recorded.

Recorded their Newlywed Game and put it on the TVs in the room to replay.

That's what we thought maybe might happen.

And I didn't recall seeing it anywhere, so I'm hoping not since it's more family friendly.

Except for we basically.

You're never gonna try to drag Sean up on stage again.

He loved it, though.

He loved the fame, but also, like, in our mind, too.

I'm also like, probably this is why all of our rights are being taken away.

Might as well.

Might as well enjoy it while we can.

That's very true.

So Sean, then Sean gets pulled out with all the women to do their free drinks.

And then I get my questions to ask, and I forget all my questions because they weren't as exciting, I guess, per se.

But the one, they weren't noteworthy.

They weren't story worthy.

Yeah, I can't remember the answers off top of my head.

But the one that I do remember is where is the most interesting place that you've discovered the magic?

And if you.

If you don't understand that innuendo.

This is crazy.

It's on a Disney cruise.

This is on a Disney cruise.

Basically, they're like, I think adult entertainment would have been more appropriate for a Disney cruise.

So basically they're kind of asking us, like, where.

Where have you had sex?

That's very interesting.

So the one woman next to us, I think she said in the car somewhere.

And then the guy, the old guy, they both got theirs, right?

And they said it was in a sand dunes in Michigan.

Congrats.

Sarah's like, in the Fantasyland family restroom.

So my response is on a Carnival cruise ship, which we got.

I got booed because I said Carnival on Disney.

But can't say that.

Yeah, but I said, wait, there's more.

I was like, it was in.

It was in a sauna, and there was a third party there.

Oh, that's the information that I gave.

Oh, no.

So she brings.

She brings everybody back in, and she asks this question to everybody, and she's like, just.

She's like, keep in mind this.

This could involve just your spouse or other people.

And she kept hinting at me, at me and Sean.

So Sean's answer, it started out slightly the same, but different.

He basically said, oh, it's on a Carnival Cruise on the.

On the balcony.

And everybody in the audience is like, not.

Not quite.

And he's like, the Virgin Cruise on the balcony.

She's like.

She's like, how many balconies have you had sex on?

I was like, the answer is all of them, obviously.

Yeah.

So sorry for the people in room 2315 right below us.

Careful for webs.

We're just reenacting Spider man movie.

So he starts to get to the right answer, and he's like, oh.

He's like, you must be talking about the Carnival Cruise.

When we were in the sauna with the Carnival Cruise dancer.

Oh, so that happens.

So, yeah, the whole cruise that we did in Asana with a Carnival Cruise employee.

Carnival Cruise employee, yes.

When you gave me the nickname Spider.

Man, what we left out was the fact that we were 30 minutes late to dinner and my parents were freaking out that we got left on the island because we're busy.

And we were also in the sauna for 45 minutes and dehydrated.

Oh, my God.

So what's the first thing we did that night after being in the sauna?

We go grab bread.

Why did we.

I'm already dry.

Right.

So we didn't win the.

The.

The game show.

Unfortunately, the old couple on the old couple always wins.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They just had a free bottle of champagne.

Anyway, no worries.

It was even champagne.

It was not like it's a free cruise or something.

Yeah.

All right, let's catch up with chat real quick.

And if you want to chat with us, just make sure you watch YouTube live on Mondays at 8pm Eastern Standard Time.

So Miranda says, oh, man, I'm definitely missing out on not going on cruises.

Yes, Remy, Why do I keep hearing the bed make noises?

And somebody keeps yelling spider Man.

And what are you doing in their room, Remy?

A Nerd Archive productions calls a group of lesbians a school supply.

Oh.

Oh.

Sean said they were butch and both looked like John Goodman.

Pretty sure they were Women.

And again, if you want to chat with us, make sure you check us out on YouTube live.

You guys ready to play Jersey man?

Florida man.

Yeah.

Where the flipping.

A fanboat, A crash in a truck.

These states are filled with people who suck.

So it's time for us to play New Jersey man versus Florida man.

Every week, game master Ryan brings us two news stories.

One is from Jersey, one is from Florida.

It is up to us to determine which one is which.

Take it away, Ryan.

Hey, guys, this is Ryan from the Parents Night out news team, and I'm still an anchor.

Now Scott is paying $50 to random strangers to say his name on the Internet.

I figured he could afford my pay raise.

Finally.

So let's get into this week's news.

And of course, the big story is that the Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl 40 to 22.

People are saying they haven't seen chiefs get fucked so hard since Native Americans sold the island of Manhattan for $24 worth of beads.

Also making headlines in news and NBA, the Mavericks traded Luka Doncic to the Lakers.

Luka was being described as overweight and unreliable, which coincidentally was the working title for this podcast back when it only had two members.

Members.

A man in Georgia who authorities said kept more than 100 dogs in cruel conditions at his home has been sentenced to 475 years in prison after he's been found guilty last month of dog fighting and cruelty to animals.

I think in Florida they just sentence you to teach a court ordered class on table touches.

A Japanese Airlines plane that was taxiing around the tarmac of the Seattle Tacoma International Airport apparently clipped the tail of a parked Delta aircraft on Wednesday morning.

Apparently, cars aren't the only thing the Asians are bad at driving.

And in England, a boy swallows a toy magnet and becomes X Men's magneto in a freak accident.

Boy, does this story sound familiar.

You know, speaking of superheroes, I thought of a name for Chris.

If he was a superhero.

Being an overweight homeless man, I figured we could call him poor, the God of hunger.

And in Canada, a man got his dick frozen to the frozen ground after he got thrown out of a bar.

Man, you gotta watch that ice.

Especially if you're Lewis.

You should really watch out for ice.

Anyways, let's get into the Florida man and New Jersey man stories.

And for our first story, a man is sentenced to eight years in prison after a video shows him harassing black neighbors with racial slurs.

And for our second story, a man turns in his own father after making a revolting discovery on his phone.

All right, Nick, this is a tricky one.

Well, I know the guy from the first story.

I, but I signed an NDA so I can't say say who it was.

So that one's, that one's definitely Florida.

Okay.

Nick.

Yeah, I was gonna go the first one for Jersey because I feel like he's trying to throw us off somewhere.

Sarah.

I'm gonna agree with Nick.

First one's Jersey, Darren.

The second story is Florida and it.

Because it's me, because I sold you out.

The cops are outside.

They know what you, they know what you did.

And I'm going First one Florida.

Yeah.

So nobody thinks the first one, the guy with the racial slur, is from the state that has is home of the proud boys burger.

Right?

All right, let's find out the answers.

So our first story is from New Jersey where a white Jersey man, I don't think you need to say that he's white.

Was captured on a viral video in 2021 harassing his, his black neighbors using racial slurs.

The 47 year old man was sentenced to eight years in prison and will not be eligible for parole for four years.

This man's comments were almost as racist as the text that Scott sent me last time his daughter ate watermelon.

So that means our second story is from Florida where a man turned in his own father after he found child porn on his phone after trying to help him log back into his email account.

Darren, you know what to do.

God, I swear Kendrick Lamar is going to write a song about you before long.

Anyways, that's it for me this week.

Back to you guys.

Impressive.

Thank you so much.

Ryan knows that the Eagles won the super bowl and who.

Kendrick Lamar is very impressive.

There's a lot that happened in there that I'm surprised about.

So Chris and Darren, I, I, I, I feel like you would be very, very proud of me.

So yesterday we're at, yesterday we're at Epcot and I'm, I'm live streaming on TikTok and we run into some friends of Rachel's and their son is wearing, I can tell it's, it's John Cena.

He's wearing a John Cena shirt.

And I'm like, oh, you know you like John Cena?

And he's like, oh yeah, yeah.

And he's like, do you watch wrestling?

I'm like, oh absolutely.

No, you didn't say absolutely.

You go, yeet, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, and they're like, oh well, who's your favorite wrestler?

And I was like, well, say his name.

And then he starts saying, the two of them start saying.

And he appears and we're clapping and all that.

So I have this full on conversation with him.

I was like, who do you think Jey Uso is gonna fight in in WrestleMania?

And he's like, ah, Gunther.

And I'm like, I don't know, man.

I was like, he seemed like he was trying to take on Cody Rhodes.

And I'm like, do you think Cody Rhodes is gonna go heel?

It's like, no, no, no.

That's just his name.

The Nightmare.

American Nightmare.

Full on conversation.

So you've watched wrestling for two weeks.

I know.

I'm already an expert.

I have already put 200 dol.

So to beat Gunther in WrestleMania.

Can't wait for him to fight Cody Rhodes.

Well, then I don't lose anything.

I think the most impressive thing about that whole conversation was the fact that Scott walked away and still doesn't understand why Rachel won't have sex with him.

Hey, Chris.

Scott, you got any clips?

Scott, we didn't talk about the biggest thing that happened to us this week.

Like the single most biggest thing that happened to us this week.

Okay, you're right.

I forgot.

I, I don't even have it written down.

Should we jam it in or should we save it for next week?

Well, I don't know that there's going to be enough.

We're talking about it now, so.

We're talking about it now.

All right.

I, I, I think of this idea this week I'm trying to revive our Tik Tok and Instagram with some fun meme posts and stuff.

And I.

So Kanye west, in the midst of all this, starts tweeting out the most insane stuff.

And I quote, I am a Nazi.

Hail Hitler.

Which I'm quoting Kanye west.

And now I know that I'm going to be cliffed now.

Oh my gosh, this is, that's so bad.

Anyway, Kanye west is tweeting all these things.

Lots of bad things about the Jews.

Lots of bad things about.

It was really just about Jews.

Yeah, he just like, I haven't seen any of this.

Look it up.

It is.

But anyway, so I tried.

He said, call me Yadolf Hitler.

Yeah, yeah.

He's obviously going through romantic episode and I feel bad that he has nobody.

That's, that is like saying like, you need some help.

Because obviously says the entire world.

Yeah.

Only 7.2 billion people are telling him, hey, you may need help.

Anyway.

Well, some people are saying, yo necessito help.

So I was, I was like, what?

So I, I'm like, okay, it'd be really funny to turn these tweets into a song with like an AI music generator.

So I, I, most of the stuff was getting flagged.

I could not generate most of the tweets that he was saying.

Turns out that AI does not support the Third Reich.

So I, I, I took the most innocent tweets I turned it into.

I actually, honestly, I tried to make it a sea shanty.

I thought that'd be funny.

And for some reason, AI doesn't know what a sea shanty is.

It made it into a country song, which was even better.

So Part one of Kanye West Tweets as a country Song was an overnight success and is now sitting at 1.2 million views on Instagram.

So I put it, I put the video on Twitter and I have so mad.

30, 30 people saw the tweet.

Well, one of those 30 people has a following of 800, 000 people and stole the tweet and credited us by saying someone made Kanye west tweets into a country song and never credited me.

It goes viral.

This, this tweet, if you search Kanye west as a country, Kanye west tweets country song, hundreds of videos pop up.

It's all my stand, it's all the stuff that I created it.

If you just google Kanye west country song, it pops up.

It's everywhere.

It's on Instagram, it's everywhere.

My brother in law, today or yesterday, he said, holy crap, that's Chris's work.

Like, because he's seen it from an unreal, this thing has gone insane.

And then I'm tweeting at the guy.

Oh, you can't even credit me.

And some guys credit you for what?

It's AI like, I don't know, come with the idea and creating it.

Like, what do you like?

Everybody else that does stuff on the Internet.

So anyway, this is why I have.

To remind Chris all the time on all of our merch.

Make sure you put the word podcast or put the name of the podcast on there.

It can't just be fun.

It's gotta have the name on it.

Yeah, coming from, coming from.

And this is me ranting, coming.

And I'm a person who steals other people's content and puts it under our many 100.

But anyway, so I'm on Twitter and I'm scrolling through at dinner last night, and I see Kanye west tweet something out says Grammy level, and I look to see what he's responding to.

And it's our song.

No way.

It's.

Yeah, it's.

So I.

So Kanye west heard the song and tweeted it.

Tweeted about it.

So I.

Screenshot because he sadly deactivated his Twitter yesterday.

And did he deactivate it?

Yeah, he signed off.

He said, good, good, good morning, I'm done with.

Or something like that.

It's something that made total sense.

I think Elon Musk took him off.

I think Elon liked it.

Elon was retweeting all the.

Not the.

The Jewish stuff.

I'm literally reading it on msn.

What about.

Yeah, the country song.

Is this the one that says which one's yours?

Wait, wait, who.

Who reposted it?

Fear Buck.

Yeah, it's on msn.

Shut up.

There's it.

Netizens laugh as someone turns Kanye's recent tweets into a country song.

The melody actually fits one day ago.

Yeah, a whole article was written about our song.

You should.

You should write in MSN and say, we originated that.

That's what you.

Chris, do not let me down.

Okay, You.

You have the opportunity to pick up the fumbled football.

It is NBC.

This is your moment.

And it was tweeted at art by someone named Soap Central.

Finish.

Finish the story.

Finish the story.

Finish the story.

I cannot believe that.

So, yeah, so Kanye was my.

My.

I am everywhere, but nowhere at the same time.

This podcast tonight could have had thousands of people watching it.

Because if you would have put the name on.

On the video.

Yeah, all you do is put the.

Name on Hip hop dot com.

Somebody turned Kanye west off kilter tweets into a sad country song.

And it's glorious.

All right, so without further ado, let's play the country song, shall we?

Let's do it.

I turned down three folders this week with Make I wish kids in wheelchairs.

I don't take photos.

Except for when I take photos.

Puff we love of you.

I move cutting the grass every couple of years.

I don't want to go to your fancy restaurants.

Ramin Noelles and do was made for a reason.

If you see anyone around me, nobody that they are providing a service.

Friends are for kids.

I just tweeted everything I could think of, and I'm still alive.

I cannot believe this made the Internet, like, all over.

Yeah, I just.

I can't believe that it.

We finally had our moment.

It went viral.

It's everywhere.

And there's no logo.

It's like Patrick Mahomes throwing two interceptions.

There's three interceptions.

I don't Remember how many?

Three last night.

No.

This would be like Patrick Mahomes throwing three interceptions and all three of them would have been run in for pick sixes.

But they drop the ball at the one yard line and it gets ruled a touchback.

That's the.

Can you use terms that Sarah and I would know?

This would be like Michael Crawford in the opening night of Phantom of the Opera falling off stage.

This is like.

I don't know that name.

This is like getting the bag of weed and having it and you're so excited for it.

And then you open it up and it's a Retino.

Chris Congratulate.

It's super exciting.

Chris is all like.

Like, this was my work and it was appreciated.

That's that at the end of the day, if that guy never stole it, Kanye would have never seen it and this would be a big nothing burger.

What the one 1.2 million plays on Instagram is insane.

It's awesome.

But Kanye west seeing that and replying to it, I'm framing it like, I'm printing that out and frame printing it out.

Xing out Fear Bucks name and framing it and putting on my wall.

So what we need to do, I.

I need everybody's help.

Okay.

We.

We need to start a movement.

Like, give us credit for our work, damn it.

Let's.

Yeah.

Because MSN says, quote, grammy level.

That's what Kanye said.

Is that what he said?

That's literally what he said.

Yeah.

I'm not on my dream Twitter.

My dream is that he is that he uses it as a sample in one of his new songs.

Could you imagine?

Oh, well, then some big money would be.

Yeah.

Although I did look up the terms and conditions of Suno AI and as if we don't have the pro membership, then we technically don't own the rights.

It's so exciting, but it's also so frustrating at the same time.

This is why I always say put the logo in everything you do.

Put the logo, put the logo.

I think he gets it.

I think he understands.

I'm proud of you, Chris.

Hey, Chris.

Thank you, Nick.

You got any Cliff Notes?

I do.

It's been quite the show.

A lot of stuff's happened, so nothing can stop this little boy from recapping the day.

The Chris is Cliff Snow Sway.

We started off the show talking about how to be exclusively streamed the super bowl on Sunday.

A streaming version anyway.

Way the numbers came out and they actually hit their highest concurrent streaming numbers ever at 18.

Great.

It's not a lot, but it is still about double of what Scott gets at his home.

Tik Tok lives.

Oh, my God.

God damn it.

Scott's the only person that gets excited when, like a Pakistani nationalist that can't speak English comes on to battle him.

They're doing what to battle him?

We.

We talked about how Scott went to the Eagles parade today.

He was surrounded by Eagles fans there very eagly.

He hasn't been surrounded by that many riled up scumbags since January 6th.

Oh, my God.

Scott said that he's never watched the Puppy Bowl.

That's because he likes them a little bit older.

Oh, my God.

Sarah bought tickets to meet Millie Bobby Brown Bon Jovi.

It's a mouthful.

She found out right before she went that she canceled.

Damn, Sarah, you guys were halfway there.

Whoa.

Sarah talked about how she collects all things Ringo Star now.

Horrible choice considering he's the least favorite Beetle, if you thought that was bad.

Though she also collects autographs of Robin from Batman and Robin, Luigi and Hawkeye.

And lastly, Nick told us that Sean told the audience why he's like Spider Man.

And you know what they always say.

With great power comes.

And those are my Cliff Notes.

Thank you so much, Chris.

Does anybody have anything exciting going on with the kids this week?

I'm showing my girlfriend Star wars for the first time.

Wow.

Wow.

Wait, does she call you Daddy?

Is that why you answered?

Oh, geez.

Wait, hold on.

Go ahead, Sarah.

Well, what happened with me was Lewis showed me Star wars for the first time, and I'm sitting at a Star wars desk in a Star wars house.

As you can see behind me, I have a case.

And then they watched the movie.

So wait a second.

You had never seen Sarah, you'd never seen Star wars until you and Lewis got together?

Never.

No.

My.

My.

My claim to fame.

Not really.

My great aunt dated William Shatner.

So.

What?

Yeah, they went to school together in Canada, so they dated.

Apparently.

He's.

He's an.

She called him Billy.

Billy Shatner said he wasn't very nice.

I didn't like him very much, but she still dated him, so we always just were like Trekkies.

If anything, I'm the only 31 in my family.

Sarah's officially the coolest person from Canada, right?

Yeah, I have.

Yeah.

Guys, see, the good thing about me is that I.

I'm actually a Canadian citizen.

Oh, that's my favorite state.

So I can run away if I want to.

Until then.

Can always go south towards the Gulf of America.

Sarah heard it's nice this time of year.

Actually, it's not south for you, I guess it's just like three steps to the left or something.

Well, I can't fly.

We'll just start swimming to Puerto Rico.

At least it's an island.

It's pretty down there.

So I don't have anything exciting coming up this week with my kid, but I do have a funny kid story.

I had my first poop bath.

Oh, so good.

So now you've graduated from rubbing it under your eyes to now you're taking a bath in.

It had nothing to do with her.

So Emily took the dog.

It's actually an improved smell.

Emily took the dog to the vet.

So I did nighttime routine with Ellie.

So I'm giving her a bath.

She starts grunting.

I know what this means.

So I start freaking out.

Like, what do you do in a situation mid poop?

I think this is pick her up.

And put her on the toilet.

So that's what I was gonna do.

So I pick her up.

I was actually gonna run to a room with her naked, dripping wet to get a diaper, which was the dumbest thing.

I was actually gonna take a dirty diaper out of the trash anyway.

I don't know what I was going to do.

Do.

I don't know what I was gonna do.

There's a diaper sitting right next to me that I just took her.

Just took out, like, her out of to get a bath.

I was just gonna, like.

Yeah, so it's probably not dirty.

Just, you know, brought her over that or something and.

And let her do her business there anyway.

But, like, she's.

She's grunting.

I pick her up, and a little turd falls out into the bathtub, which I was kind of happy about because it was a constipated turd.

Thank goodness for constipated babies and little constipated turd.

And so I get a little doggy bag.

Did I ever throw that away?

I kept going to my bathroom.

The answer all over.

It smells horrible in here.

I wonder why he's got a house infested with ants.

Light a candle.

They're bad.

They're everywhere, by the way.

But not.

Not a lot.

It's just like, one crawling in, like, the most random.

Anyway, hunting season's coming, so I just started blasting Kanye West.

They all got scared.

So I'm gonna write this down.

Please remove poop bag from bathroom.

Don't forget, baby, you could blow out the candle.

I know what it is.

So.

So I get the poop out of there, put in the trash can, and then I Sit her back down in the bathtub.

And then my.

Well, there's poo.

It has poop water now.

So I drained the bathtub and I fill it back.

I'm like, you know what would clean this is a bubble bath.

So I scored so much of her double her soap.

You know what would clean this is a bubble bath.

Yeah, it's soap.

Dude.

Dude.

So you didn't like scrub the area?

It was like, it was in there for two seconds.

A little poop nugget.

It was in there for two seconds and I just grabbed it out real quick of the dog bag.

Five second rule.

Exactly.

So I drink it went down, you know, the water went down the drain.

So I'm like, let me.

I'm not eating off my shower floor, Scott.

I don't need to.

So I, I give her a bubble bat.

I.

I start putting the bottle.

This would be so much fun.

Make for really great pictures.

Until I realized she's not even nine months old.

She's going on to eat the.

Out of these bubbles.

And the literal.

Because it's not clean.

Because it's just so.

So they were bubbles.

No, but.

So I.

So it was horrible.

I had the.

Which I learned for the first time that the, when you first turn the, the water on that the stuff that comes out of the bottom there, that's a foot wash.

It's considered like where you wash your feet.

Yeah.

So I had to keep that on the whole time because I had a cup.

And every time she'd get the bubbles and it looked like she looked like a crack addict with these bubbles.

She would go down, hold the bubbles, start shaking, and then just go towards her face.

So I had to get the cup and just throw the water onto her hand.

So before her hands went in her mouth cleaning the bubbles, I was, I was getting so stressed out and that.

And also she's trying to stand in the bathtub now.

She's standing everywhere.

Now she's trying to stand up.

Like, stop, you can't do that.

She's getting mad at me.

She's trying to eat more bubbles.

And so then it's like, okay, I'm done bathing her.

And because at that point I'm like, this, the bubble water probably cleaned her.

So I.

So then I'm like, how do I rinse her off?

There's just soapy water everywhere.

So I had to just.

I put her under like a doll underneath the foot wash.

And I'm just like rotating her like a roast pig.

Underneath the, Underneath the foot wash?

No, that's when you.

You do that football hold.

You hold her with, like, one.

One arm and you take the shower and you douse her down.

It was.

That's a really good idea.

Take notes next time.

Yeah.

So horrible.

Horrible.

We got our first poo bath.

The funny thing is I did get a picture because the first thing that I instinctively do as soon as the poop goes in there is I put her back in the bathtub and took a picture because it was so funny because you can see, like, the little turd and she's just screaming.

She's so.

She's so upset.

Great picture.

Gonna be.

It'll be like, for her 18th birthday.

It'll be like one of the pictures on the wall.

Probably first poop bath.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

But.

Yeah.

So that was my big event.

Nice.

This week.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Darren, where can our listeners find you?

By the way, this is a good Valentine's Day episode.

Oh, yeah.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Happy Valentine's Day.

You can find me managing the Parents Night Out.

Twitter.

Yeah.

Parents Knit out.

Knit out.

That's right.

We are back on X.

Parents knit Out.

I couldn't.

Couldn't fit night.

That was okay.

So out of everything.

So Parents Night Out.

Take it on.

On Twitter or you can't fit it.

I think probably the worst alternative alternative would be Can I talk Tonight?

The worst alternative was probably Parents knit Out.

Like, you're gonna put like, piano podcast or.

Or parents each just.

It looked like.

It looked like you didn't know how to spell like it looks.

You could have spelled it like night.

Like K, N, I, G, H, T.

If anybody wants to edit it, go right for it.

We only have three followers right now, so it doesn't matter.

We had four, but then Kanye deactivated.

So, Darren, where can our listeners find you?

I'm managing the.

And the.

That's it.

Okay, Nick, you can find me on Instagram at Emotional Supports Gay Nick.

And on all social media platforms at Sam Piper Vacations to book all of your vacation planning.

Sarah, you can find me on one social media platform.

Tick tock at Super Sarah 94.

Chris.

Follow us on Instagram.

What is our Instagram handle?

I.

I have no idea.

You guys changed it.

But all of our links are on our website.

Yeah, it's gonna.

What's our website?

That has not changed.

Go to no friends podcast.com for all of our socials.

That's right.

And you can connect with all of us.

All of our social media links are on our website.

So check that out.

Become a Patreon member.

Check out our sweet merchandise and if you listen to us on Apple or Google, well can't we to us on Google, Apple or Spotify please leave us a review.

5 star rating really helps us out.

Also check us out on the YouTube every single Monday night 8pm Eastern Standard Time and then also on the Tik Tok.

But all of our links are right there.

Join our discord for free.

Just check out our our website.

It'll get you right on there.

Well, on behalf of game master Ryan, Our producer Alex thewisemandarren.com Nick Sarah, Chris, I'm Scott.

Thank you so much for watching or listening.

We'll see you next time.

See you later.

Poopy Bus.

No new friends Just the old and the bold in the world of Kiss we're the ones you hold Scott, Chris, Sarah.

A naked tale to be told.

Welcome to the Bar Podcast.

We're adulting unfolds we're adulting unfolds we're adulting unfolds.