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Welcome back to the selling your expertise. Podcast I'm your host, Renee Rebar. And today it's Friday we are diving into how to sell when you're scared, and why courage is not the absence of fear. This week we've been talking about the mindset game in sales, and here's the truth. You don't get courageous by waiting for the fear to pass. You get courageous by taking action

while you're still a little sweaty and shaky.

so let's go back to Sally for a moment. You remember the brilliant brand strategist I told you about on Monday once. She named her Inner, mean girl, which that was your homework. By the way, from Monday's episode, go back and check it out. She didn't try to ignore her anymore. She acknowledged those mean girl thoughts

and then took control.

how she had 2 powerful tools, and once you hear what they are, I think you'll be able to see how they can vanquish the mean girl from stopping you dead in your tracks. Number one.

She started a brag folder. I talked about this in my book as well, where she collected testimonials and compliments, and something I always say about testimonials is, don't put them in a museum. Don't let them collect digital dust

instead. Use them like sriracha, and put that shoes on everything, posts, email footers, landing pages everywhere.

Second tool

based on something else I mentioned in my book again. Get the book, if you have it. I really loved recording it. It's on audible. If you like this podcast you'll probably love that. But the reality is is that this second tool is something that not many people talk about, but it made all the difference for me, and I call it a family sweetness box, and it's filled with pictures and paw prints and handmade notes, and when you make one, especially for Sally when she made hers.

I want you to imagine those shoeboxes that we would decorate in elementary school for Valentine's Day. That's what it looked like, and it reminded her of who the bleep she is, and why she matters, and all of that the brag folder as her 1st tool, the family sweetness box as her second tool.

That made all the difference. Because here's the reason why your mean girl will not disappear. She will not sit down unless you have tools. She can be kept in check.

If you have these tools ready when she comes out swinging because inevitably, when you're about to launch, when you're about to post something when you're about to send an email, when you're about to send a proposal when you're about to get on a call. When you're about to get on a summit. I mean, fill in the blank when you're about to do anything that is not

in your comfort zone, or it's something you haven't done 17 times today. Even if that is the case you still are going to get. I just want you to own this fact. You are still going to get mean girl messages.

But when you have these tools in place, even if it's just remembering what's inside the box. Not every time did Sally have the time to go get her family sweetness box from the shelf, open it up and reminisce for 25 min. Sometimes she just had to remember what was in there.

and let those thoughts combat and literally vanquish those mean girl thoughts, because the reality is, you will have clients who leave you.

I know it's okay to be sad, but don't quit, I know. Believe me, I get totally heartbroken when someone leaves me too, and it's not that they left, like, you know, our agreement was over, and they decided to go and work with someone else, or take a break, or whatever the case may be. But it's still heartbreaking. It is sort of like a breakup. Right?

We're invested in our clients. We love them in so many ways. It's not about the money. It's about the fact that we've poured our heart and soul into thinking about them and working with them in so many ways, and delivering things for them.

like delivering our our outcomes, getting them to where they wanted to go.

You'll also have offers that flop. I know this sounds like such bad news on a Friday, but I'm telling you

I have laid out lots of offers that sunk like a stone. I thought they were so good and nobody bought them. I've had lots of offers like that, and I'm going to have more like that because I'm not going to stop just because something flopped just because my mean girl is going to say mean things to me, because she always says mean things to me, but I'm going to put her in check

by having these tools in place, because you're going to find an offer that you love as well. It doesn't fly off the digital shelves like you imagined. Even with the data analysis and the insights that point to an easily fixable problem. It doesn't make it sting any less.

and you're a mean girl

again. Remember, from Monday's episode mine's Bossy. Brenda. Make sure you name yours. Your mean girl will try to make you believe that you're not good enough for clients or new offers, or any of it.

But don't let her stop you. That fear is false evidence appearing real. That is such a good lesson that I learned so many decades ago from one of my 1st sales managers, and I'm sure he got it from somebody else. But that false evidence, appearing appearing real is really just our thoughts. It's our mindset. And it is such a big

reason. When you look at who's successful and who's not? It's not that they're smarter than you, or that they had a better idea than you. It's that their mindset is in the right place.

Another thing you probably have heard me say, and I learned this again from my 1st sales manager Tip of the hat to you, Rosario Cynicropi. He's like the hardest territory to work territory to work is the one between your ears. And he wasn't kidding.

and so it's so easy to let them in those bad thoughts, those inner, mean girl thoughts. But

don't let them in. Take a nap. Take a day, stay up late, watch, love actually with salt and vinegar chips and strong pino. Oh, wait! That's just me, is it? Just me? I don't know who else eats the salt and vinegar chips when they feel sad. I don't know why I love them so much. It's just something I do, but don't quit. You've worked so hard. Take a break. But don't let that mean girl stop. You

see, when Sally, our story from Monday was feeling low, knocked down, and genuinely feeling like she wanted to burn it all to the ground. She didn't quit. She opened those folders. She saw her impact. She felt slightly better. That's the other part. Don't expect a full recovery right away. If you feel slightly better, then take back control

and take one step forward.

Send that one email because that one email can lead to a conversation for Sally that one email led to a conversation that led to a paid offer that led to a client who later referred her to 3 more people.

That's the power of a good mindset practice. So if you've been waiting for a sign, this is it your action steps for today are drum roll. Please remember, from Monday's episode you can write down your fears and your inner, mean girl words and then burn them safely. Of course.

number 2. Create your brag, folder screenshots, love notes, compliments, testimonials number 3. Create your family sweetness. Box reminders that you are so valuable, so loved, so supported.

And these are not extra credit. By the way, these are not nice to have. These are absolute essentials in your sales. Toolbox. This is what makes it possible to show up, speak up, and make those offers.

We are not meant to muscle through this. I'm going to say that again. We are not meant to muscle through this. We just need tools to remind ourselves

of who the F. We are.

You don't need to be fearless to succeed.

You need to have your toolbox.

So for a whole new topic, because this was this was a hard one. Right? This was, this is sincere. It's serious, and it's needed for a whole new topic chock full of what's working now in sales and action steps to get you there and get you paid. I'll see you Monday.