Have you ever wondered as a mom, if you have any leadership characteristics inside of you that you can use either in your home or community stay tuned, we have an amazing episode for you today.

Welcome to the American Mothers: Mom to Mom Podcast. The show that lifts , encourages, supports, and educates mothers to do their best in their awesome responsibility to raise, teach, and champion the rising generation. Join us as we talk to and answer questions from mothers nationwide about the challenges, heartbreaks, joys, and lessons learned from one mother to another.

Welcome to the American Mothers: Mom to Mom Podcast. And I'm Tamara Anderson, and this is, Deanne Taylor, and we are so excited to have you on today. And today we have an interesting topic. Don't we, Deanne?

Yes. I love it. I've known Sharon for several years and she is a leader. She's going to share with us today how she learned leading within.

Yeah, absolutely. Because I think sometimes we, as moms feel that we fail at so many things that it's good to know that sometimes it takes baby steps to not only build yourself within your home and become a leader within your home, but then take those same skills that you're learning, and over the process of time, be able to apply them not only within the community, but also in your work.

Absolutely. I'm excited to hear what she has to say.

Tamara 1:44

All right, here we go. Our guest today is a native of Calvert county, Maryland, and loves working with the next generation and professionals to empower them, to tap into their leadership skills and project manager skills.

As they build their confidence. She is the mother of four girls and grandmother of four boys and four girls, I am pleased to present Sharon Parker, Sharon, are you ready to teach us some amazing things today?

I am ready to have some fun and teaching you when you teach me and we just teach the world.

This is awesome. So I thought we would break the ice kind of with a humorous incident and sharing. You said that you had a funny story that happened when you were interacting with your mom as a younger girl. Would you mind sharing that story really quick?

Not a problem. Absolutely. I may have been 12 years old in my hometown of Calvert county, Maryland.

For those who don't know is 45 minutes in Washington, DC. A little dirt road that we grew up on and I was on my bike. You know how people ride their bikes normally? Oh, no, not Sharon. Once called Sharon Lee. She decided to stand up on her bike, going down a hill, hands free. My mom saw me and she said she just looked at me and laugh first because she's like, I knew you could do it, but I can't believe you did it.

And she said, one day you're going to be a trendsetter and I don't know what that is, but you are too bold. And that was the funniest thing to me because I just didn't think about it. I had no fear what so ever. I did it. And I survived. I didn't fall. I didn't get hurt and she just laughed.

Oh my goodness. I love that. And you have become a trendsetter, but first it seems you had to overcome a little bit of shyness. And one of the things that you talk about, especially as a young mother, And what you teach is leading from within. So leading within. So tell me how you went from being a shy person to being able to lead within your home.

Well, that's an excellent question. And I can honestly say when you grow up in the county, you're not subjected to a lot of scrutiny. People are looking at you saying you should do it this way. You should do it that way. Well, no, you didn't have this. Or you didn't have that.

You just live your life, free. And me being a tomboy, like I mentioned, I wasn't scared of anything. But what my mom said to me stuck in my head, it stuck when she said that I was a trendsetter, it made me want to better myself. So I got the education that I required in school. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but something stuck in me where I felt like I always wanted to be learning, learning, learning, learning, and I was able to learn enough to be confident to find my voice. And once I found my voice, I started taking training, project management training, leadership training, entrepreneurial training, you name it.

And that build up my confidence to now be called what I like to brand myself as a leading within strategists. But it is because of my mom belief in me that I didn't even know, inspired me to want to keep on moving forward to develop myself because there was a lot of unfortunately disadvantaged communities in Calvert county. And my family they grew up with one of those disadvantaged communities and we knew that in order to make it, you had to get your education, be a productive citizen and just keep on striving until you reached the Heights that what you want to do in life.

I know you have a lot of techniques to help us with, but with what you're saying and being a mother, of course, we're talking to mothers here. How did you as a mother train that - teach your children those leadership tendencies?

I, I'm a true believer that you show by example by teaching. Y'all wanting to first want to punish all the time doesn't always work. As I mentioned earlier, that I had to overcome challenges myself and understanding what my family was about. Me being the fourth youngest of 12 siblings. Can you imagine? And the fourth and youngest of 12 siblings. Everyone is high energy, got their own voice.

And everyone understood that their perspective mattered the most. What you were saying didn't matter. So I had to show my children that in order for you to have your own identity and in order for you to be respected and appreciated for what you do, you really gotta one - find your voice. Like I had to find my voice. That was part of leading from within. And then once you build up the confidence to get those tools that you need, there could be speaking tools, it could be management tools. It could be technology tools, social media tools, whatever it was that you are specifically interested in. Develop yourself to be able to just perform at the best height possible. So yes, leading within for my family was showing them, by example. If I can do it at being almost 60 years old, you can do it being 10, 15, 20, 40, whatever. You can continue to learn as I'm learning today.

Um, I absolutely love that. What I find interesting about your story is that that seed planted by your mother, that you would be a trendsetter, was something that she planted that seed and it bloomed within you. And it seems like you, you use the same technique with your children. Yes. Planted within them. Hey, you can do anything you choose to do just plant that seed, nurture it, help it to grow, and then you become who you want to be.

Exactly.

What do you think as mothers we can do to help identify strengths in our children? Like, do you have any tips on that?

So I would like to share the first tip would be just to listen to your children.

Even if they make a mistake, even if they do something that you know they shouldn't have done, listen to them and ask them, why,. Why did you do it? What is it that you were, that you wanted to do when you were thinking about it? If they didn't think about it, that they just did it just based on instincts or whatever, try to find out or give them tools to help them think through their process.

So listen to them one, ask them why two, and then give them techniques on how to address something if they do something out of order. Let's just say again, whatever that thing may be. As it relates to development trying to find out what their, what I call gifts. All of us were born with unique gifts.

Some can sing, some can dance, some can write books, some can spell, some can just be almost anything. And they're born with that gift. Try to find out early what they do good. Okay. And they do it effortlessly. Okay. Without actually a lot of help from you and then develop that skill.

Get them in some summer activities, school activities, giving them something that will birth that skill out of them. I used to love to dress up. I used to love to always put dresses on dolls or now I have four girls, no boys. I would always dress my daughters up like they were going to church just because I like to see that, that, classic image in them. So, that was my gift. And I just developed that and I got me in a little trouble as I got older because I love to spend. So yes, just find out what that gift is. That skill is and develop that.

Oh, I love that. And you're right. They are born with different skills and gifts and I think we, as moms often have that mom instinct of look at what they're doing there, that's totally unique. And, and I need to point it out to them. Kind of like your mom pointed it out to you. Okay. Ask them, why they're doing things to try to figure out how they think, how they process. These are just amazing, amazing tips. Hmm. Now let's transition this to leading within in the community and in the workplace. This is something that you have had a lot of experience and talk to me about what leading within work and the community has looked like for you.

Well, I gotta tell you one of the things I mentioned earlier that I had to learn a lot, cause I wanted to be elevated, but my current situation, so websites, social media, writing, posting, whatever it took, I had to learn alot. But before I could do that at a point in my life, I had to understand my purpose and my mission in life. And I had to find out what that was. And that was unfortunately, it took four decades for me to find it out. I was in my forties when I found out what my true purpose was. And my true purpose was to always give back to my family, give back to the community where I'm, where I'm creating some form of legacy. Legacy could be your history. It could be your family's, property. It could be whatever your family have a value that you want to not only educate and transfer down to the next generation, but you also want to inspire the world with your story, with your message, look where you were, look how you overcame challenges and look where your family is going to be in the, in the years to come.

So. Doing that it's not easy. It's not easy as, especially as an introvert as I was and being shy. It's not easy to share with people. I have something in my brain that I want to share with you all, but I don't know how to articulate it. I don't know how to present it where you would even want to listen to me. What do I need to do? So I had to follow a lot of other professionals, out in the community, professional speakers, coaches, mentors. I had to figure out what their technique was. And once I figured out their technique, I started applying it to my purpose and applying it to my mission.

So I started branding myself. So I'm like, okay, start with a book. If you want people to know who you are, know where you've done, what you've done over the years, brand yourself. The title of my book is "True Synergy Works - Leading Within." Everything that I do is all governing around leading within. I shared with you earlier that I put on like eight conferences That's no joke.

And I did a lot of planning of that behind the scenes myself. I've had a committee, but I didn't really utilize them the way that I should. So I put a lot of pressure on myself on just okay, what's in my head, what I want, where do I want to get out? How much money do I have to invest? Where's the venue I have to go?

What most importantly is the message I want individuals to get out of that conference. So leading within kind of helped me do that. Project management. As I mentioned earlier, too, is a skillset that I needed to be able to take each phase of each project, each initiative, each event and apply it to Leading Within.

You got to plan your activities. You got to actually, well initiate first, and you got to plan it and you have to execute it. You have to monitor each phase and you have to close it out. I started learning that 22 years ago. I took project manage. And I'm like, okay, what's the thought, that's the initiation?

How do I make it happen? Okay. Brainstorm it, write it down, plan it. How do I execute it? Make sure that I got all the pieces in place with the right people in place and just go and do it and then monitor the whole process and closing. Closing the process is just this, having the events, highlighting your successes and moving into the next event or next project.

In my book, I talk about the power of five. The power of five means, grace and power from God. That's what it means to me. And I draw on that in my mindset and I call it synergy. Anything that comes in my presence comes around me on social media, on, and, and just the elements or just people. If it's something good, I'm going to pull that resource into what I'm doing, and I'm going to try to connect the dots, whereas helping all of us grow collectively in whatever we're doing. So the power of five is not only about how I pull in the energy, but it's also a message to the community about legacy. Being from Calvert county, for those who don't know, it's not even about being shy, but I grew up in the sixties

I'm not goin' to tell my age, but I was five years old in 1968 and 1968 was the same year that Dr. Martin Luther King's assassinated. And I'm a little girl and I'm playing on the church ground and I'm asking God, oh my God, God, why what happened? Why don't people like Dr. Martin Luther King, expecting Him to answer?

Didn't get one. Went back to the playing and I'm like, I think he's answering me. How many years later? 35 years later. Again, in my forties, I found my purpose. So I'm sharing that story with you that that's when I started understanding that knowing who you are, knowing your history, knowing your legacy is key.

Now it's about sharing it with the world. So I started doing that and we're here to just continue to promote it, continue to lead from within. But most importantly, not for me, for my family, for the next generation, for my grandparents, who I never met because they had passed before I was born, and for the community. If my story can inspire someone to reach back and bring their family back together, that's what I would like to do. If my stories can make someone connect with their mom again, connect with their dad, their siblings. That's what I want to do.

That's amazing. Sharon. The thing that I really appreciate about you is you didn't give up when you were 40. You were entrenched in family and children. You were just surviving to get your children raised. And so many mothers don't feel like they have time for anything until they get to your age, they can start thinking, okay, now raised my children. My children are going to be okay. I can support them and still impact the community. I think there's a time and a season. And. Younger mothers can look you and go, oh, I want to be just like, Sharon, look what she's done. Look what she's accomplished. She's found her mission and her value in life. So I appreciate that you put a timeline in your life that you were able to Create yourself through the years. So thank you for that time table. Cause I think mothers want to do it all right now. Thank you.

You're welcome. You're welcome. What you were saying Deanne. You're right. It's not, it's also by the children, but guess, what about the grandchildren as well? And a lot of times people forget about those branches and because, children may miss some things along the way and we may need to help them with raising those grandchildren. And I can't wait to share, I just left one of my grandchildren's high school and Thomas Stone high school in Charles county, Maryland. And I was an advocate for her. I walked into the school with no titles. None whatsoever. A grandma.

And I said, I want to advocate for my granddaughter. Let me speak with the principal and the vice principal and the guidance counselor. I want to speak with those who can impact change so that my grandchild would have a better chance to get through high school, especially with all of the issues going on since COVID-19 has just tore up everything for so many families. But you have to be an advocate for your grandkids as well.

Thank you for saying that. That's true. That's part of your legacy too. Yeah. Thank you for putting us in a good light, too. Grandparenting is pretty awesome.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Absolutely. No, this is fantastic. I love everything that you shared, Sharon, and I think it's so important that we, first of all, realize that we can make a difference. We can find our voice and then learning, like you said, the power of five learning those five key principles from initiation to closing the deal so that we can each begin where we are and make a difference wherever we are in our communities. And they can be in small ways, you know what I mean? It doesn't have to be in making events. And I think as we start thinking about this as women, that we can find our space and be able to make a difference, not only in our homes, but also then from our homes spreading out into the communities and impacting the world, just like you.

Oh, absolutely. Yes. Thank you absolutely. I know for sure. Knowing the phases is one thing, knowing how to apply the phases, it's a whole different conversation. The tools, the skillsets, the techniques, the best practices in all of those things. It took time to learn that. And when I said I started product management 22 years ago, one of the things that came out of product management was me understanding that I was an introvert. Understanding that I chose not to want to engaged sometimes with people that may have been, you know, exciting, talkative. It's all of that. I chose not to want to be in that mindset because it distracted me from thinking. But I didn't know that I just thought I had an attitude with them. I'm like, why am I not interacting with these people?

Why am I not happy? Why am I not , doing what they're doing, because I'm thinking about. What's going on now and what's going to go on next and project management helped me with that. like I said, it's so many intricacies in each phases that I'm sure will benefit so many communities. And that's why I branded my platform leading within leadership, using project management.

Um, so tell us, before we wrap this up, tell me where we can find you and your book and your courses and all of that.

Well, I tell you social media. I was told a long time ago, Sharon people may not want to know about your organization ROASA. They may not want to know that you were the former president for the blacks in government, the Robert C. Weaver chapter. They may not want to know all of these times that, you're the president for the Maryland chapter of American mothers, Inc. They want to know you for who you are in your story.

So I brand myself again with the Power of Five. But I also brand myself as a civil rights baby. So sharing that if you find me on Facebook, just look for Sharon Parker on Facebook. Type in Power of Five, you know, civil rights baby, you know, leading within. It's going to bring me out. If you go onto Instagram, I'm Sharon underscore, leading, underscore within. Again, making it about the community. I have a few websites, but one that's really important is themakingofou.com www.themakingofu.com.

"U" not just, you, not y-o-u.

Just get the letter U thank you to u.com. And that is just me providing the knowledge and the skill sets on what it took me to develop myself.

And now I want to share with the world. My history organization is ROASA. Www R O a S a L I V as in Victor, E s.org. And for those who don't know, ROASA means Remembering Our Ancestors Synergistic Association. Remembering, guys what we all have in common. Okay. That's what ROASA means. And last but not least, my email is Sharon@leadingwithin.Org.

Wonderful. My goodness. What a difference you make in the world. And can we find your book on Amazon? Is that the best place to go?

You can find my book on Amazon, or you can go to any of my websites and find the book. Cause I always have a page up there for the book, but just putting it in "True Synergy Works" and it will come right out.

I prefer you buying it from me on my website. Go to www.leadingwithin.Org and just go to the purchase that book and that we'll mail one to you.

Yay. That sounds awesome. Okay. Now, Deanne, do you have anything you want to ask before we wrap it up?

Just thank you, Sharon so much for joining us today.

You are amazing. I've loved knowing you. I'm getting to know you better these last few years, and today I've learned so much more about what you do. I think it's very valuable for every mother to find their leadership within yes, become a leader within and accept that. Not just in their homes, but also in their community when the time is right.

And sometime that might be when their children are young, you might have to step up and lead within to, to advocate for your children like you did for your granddaughter. So thank you for empowering us mothers to step up.

You're very welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank both of you. I love this podcast This is my first one. I hope I made you proud.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Thank you.

Yes ma'am. Thank you so much.

Well, thank you Sharon, for taking time with us this morning. You're awesome. Have a great rest of your week.

Thank you.

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Ladies,, how many of you out there have ever wanted to spruce up your home for little to no money. If you are on a budget like I am, and you need some help with this, stay tuned for our podcast next week, where we bring on a special guest who is amazing at this. She's going to give us some great tips and tricks to be able to know how we can lay out and just spruce up a room with what we have.

We wanted to remind you that nominations for the state Mother of the Year are open from Mother's Day through September 15th. So please consider nominating a special mother that you know, by going to www.Americanmothers.org/nominate for more information. And just so you know, you do not need to live in the same state as the mother you're nominating. So you can nominate someone from around the country as a possible mother of the year. Check it out. American mothers.org/nominate.

Sherri Zirker from Arizona shared this comment with us. Help children discover what they're good at and not so good at and to realize both are okay. If they can understand that all gifts, skills and talents are wonderful, they would feel secure even when they can't do one thing, because they can do another thing well.

And here's a little note that I would like to share, especially as we've been listening to Sharon today. This applies to mothers as well. As we try to develop new skills or gifts as adults, we might feel discouraged. Your children will see how you work to overcome the challenges you face and they will find confidence to try new things themselves.

So don't be afraid to go for it. Mom, try new things, develop those skills and talents and create who you can become.

Thanks so much for listening to today's show. If you like what you've heard, subscribe so you can get your weekly dose of mom to mom encouragement. We understand that being a mother can be overwhelming, but we hope that you found something useful you can apply to your own life. We invite you to share this episode with a friend who might also enjoy the message.

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