Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

journey called life. I hope you're doing well. I hope you

feel good and your skin help you feel safe and relaxed. I help

you feel seen, held loved. At the same time free and wild

energy don't feel all these beautiful, fluffy unicorn

rainbow feelings. I hope I can bring you some peace. I hope I

can bring you some clarity and tranquility and just goodness

and value. Today I want to talk about acknowledging your

feelings. All too often I hear that people say I wish I was

numb. I wish I didn't have feelings. I feel so controlled

by my feelings. If it is anxiety, or if it is deep, sad

feelings or if it is anger, frustration. I just wish I was

just numb and had no feelings. And I just say oh my god, how

boring would life be? And yeah, I must admit at times I I was

praying to not be as sensitive as I am. But it is also a

superpower. And I know it sounds very cliche and very new agey.

But if you didn't have feelings, it would be very hard for you to

enjoy life and to feel alive and to make connections to feel a

sense of belonging. Because it is through our emotions that we

or most of us experience life. So acknowledging our emotions,

instead of trying to get rid of them, which is not possible at

all is a way wiser and more efficient way of spending your

time and energy. Because I for the longest time tried to

suppress feelings of deep anger and deep sadness, deep

frustration, deep feeling of disconnection and anxiety. And I

tried to run away from it distract myself from a bypass

acid full on bypassing my my feelings and it just didn't

work. And I'm here for you to save some time because I want to

say that I lost a good decade on trying to escape on on my

feelings as a deep introvert and sensitive person. And yeah, with

my podcast with my years experience where you can meet me

for one on one coaching where you can join me for intimacy

classes with your partner, where you can experience one on one

yoga, or public yoga classes where I guide you through deeply

restorative classes that will absolutely blow your soul away

is my way to try to provide people with a shortcut because

basically everything I'm offering right now is what I

wish I had back then in my 20s when I felt so lost and

disconnected and just Yeah, somewhat miserable at times

happy but mostly depressed and anxious and in a state of

escaping. So acknowledging your feelings is really one of the

biggest start points that you can really make a difference in

your life in feeling your feelings that are coming up and

maybe you can also sense them in on a physical level in your

body. Right you may be feel hot, or you feel sensations in your

belly you feel your breath is getting shallow or on a mental

level you feel like a cascade of thoughts running rushing through

your brain and all kinds of stuff that you want to say and

write say out loud or throw at the other person. So there is

markers So to say, that can help you identify when a feeling

comes up. And I talk a lot about anxiety with with my clients.

And depression, especially when, you know, fall is coming up now

and then winter and the winters in Canada are fairly long and

cold. But even in Germany or the UK, where I have listeners

living like it gets really gloomy and dark in winter, and

we can sometimes fall into many winter depression or full on

winter depression. And if we learn to observe these seasons,

if we know that certain feelings are going to come up,

seasonally, or because certain situations or people trigger us

in a certain way, we can hack into that emotional default

system, so to say, and learn to cope with our feelings in a

different way than we might be used to. And that's a very

interesting path to be on. And I'm still on that path I've not,

you know, fully healed, and I'm still growing and learning and

healing. But that path to make sense of my emotions and to

express how I feel, and to know that the way I feel might not be

convenient in a certain situation, or for another person

outside of myself. But that is perfectly fine. You need to

embrace how you feel, and make sense of it, by expressing them,

maybe even writing them out, and then choosing to express them to

the outside world. And it is only then that the outside world

can understand who you are and see who you are. And it helps

you to feel a sense of belonging and connection. But it also

helps people to see how they want to treat you in the future.

The more you engage in that practice of acknowledging your

feelings and being like, how do you say that in English?

Discerning, yeah, distinguishing between this as a trigger, and

I'm reacting and feeling out of a place of victimhood because of

an old wound that hasn't healed yet, or I'm feeling this way

because this is who I am. And the trick is to be brutally

honest with yourself and very self aware that sometimes you

get triggered and feel certain emotions because of an old wound

that hasn't been properly processed now. And then you can

regulate your nervous system and react and or respond to a

situation more maturely. And then there might be situations

where there is a strong feeling of be it justice, anger, fear

coming up, and it's very appropriate and it's actually

there to protect you and others. So for you to distinguish, okay,

feelings are coming up, I can feel it in my body. What is it?

Is it an old anxiety, an old feeling of not being enough? of,

you know, having been bullied in the past? And now I feel

insecure and social gatherings? Or is it an emotion that is

absolutely valid? I need to acknowledge it, and then express

it to the people around me to either set boundaries or have

them know what I'm all about. The more you suppress emotions,

the more you decide to not acknowledge emotions, the

weirder you and like weird, a disconnected actually totally

disconnected from yourself, you will feel and from other people

as well. And your emotions that you suppress will find a super

awkward and the most unconvenient timing to still

come out. Right.

We see that often with people who suppress anger and

frustration and really friendships, especially romantic

relationships, they feel frustrated with something that

their partner does or doesn't do. They decide to not

acknowledge these feelings and thoughts and not to express it.

And the next thing you know, there is something happening

that sets them off. And then they react disproportionally to

a situation where you just think, Oh, my God, like, What a

lunatic. Why is that person exploding right now, this is so

minor. And yeah, it might not be minor for everybody. But this

reaction is totally unhealthy and not cool. And it is because

for an extended time before that explosion, emotions have been

suppressed. And we do that not consciously, we do that most of

the time, because we feel that the way we feel is not valid to

express maybe in your use in your childhood, you consciously

or subconsciously learned that your feelings the way you

perceive the world is not valid, you are an inconvenience, you

should shut the fuck up and sit quietly in your chair, and not

shout, shout or show any emotions. And you will carry

those messages that you received from caregivers back then or

siblings or what not that this is now your way how you behave

and act, deal with emotion emotions. And to get behind that

to understand okay, there is feelings coming up and choosing

not to express them. I know though the consequences are not

awesome. So let's move forward, let's learn something new, let's

process what's going on here and learn to either express to

ourselves what's going on, or to the outside world. And this is

how you could create new neural pathways that are completely

brand new. And neural pathways are ways of thinking, right, we

all have ways of thinking. And some people are more rigid than

others. And the people that are most flexible, have many

different kinds of neuro pathways and create new neural

pathways on a regular basis by learning new things and new

tricks and languages. or visiting foreign countries, but

also by reacting differently to an old trigger. So all this

being said, it is extremely important that you make sense of

how you feel that you know yourself, the better you know

yourself, the better you know, your values, your boundaries,

your patterns, your dark side, read your side where you feel

triggered and depressed and anxious. But also your powerful

side, the more you know, how you tick and function, the better

decisions you're going to make. And the more fulfilled life you

will have. And this will have an extreme awesome ripple effect.

And affect the people right around you, the people that you

love the people that you care about the people in your

community. And it's just a beautiful journey to be on to

getting to know yourself. And this is what my mission and my

purpose and my vision is to help people wake up to themselves and

make decisions that make them feel alive and authentic. And

yeah, I think if if we would all love ourselves and know

ourselves a little more, this world could be a pretty, pretty

awesome place in the future. And I want to make sure that I

contribute a little bit to that movement add to that trend to

that way of living, if you want to say and yeah, I'm very glad

to have you here and to connect with you and very, very grateful

for every donation that ripples in triples in it's so so

important to me to keep this podcast for free and

advertisement free especially. So your donations are just such

a gift. And so very grateful to connect with you. And if there

is any part past episodes that you are requesting that you want

me to talk about. If you want me to talk at any event, be it ever

a treat or at a library somewhere. I would feel

delighted to serve you and meet you in person. take really good

care. Until next time, bye bye