Have you ever caught yourself doing something that you don't even believe in anymore just because it's what people expect of you?

The smiling, the saying yes.

The holding your tongue, the being strong even when you're tired.

The showing up even when you'd rather rest.

At some point, you have to look.

In the mirror and say, I don't.

Have to answer to that anymore.

Celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with grace and style in our own special way.

Hey, beautiful lady.

Welcome back to Aging with Grace and Style.

I'm your host, Valerie, and today we're.

Closing out the Becoming series with a mic drop moment.

If you've ever felt boxed in by.

Labels, too much, too old, not enough.

The strong one, the fixer, the one who keeps it all together, then this one's for you.

Today we're going to name the expectations.

That we never asked for and release.

Them with a little grace, a little.

Fire, and maybe even in red boots.

Or a dress that makes no apologies.

So grab your coffee, your tea, or your favorite glass of something sparkly, and.

Let'S get into it.

Let's start with a little honesty.

How many of us have been called.

Too much at some point?

Too opinionated, Too emotional, Too loud?

Or maybe the opposite.

Not enough.

Not thin enough, not soft enough, not young enough.

And of course, there's the classic, aren't you too old for that?

I remember a time someone said that to me.

I was trying on a pair of red boots.

Yes, they were knee high.

Yes, with a heel.

And yes, I felt fabulous.

The sales clerk looked at me and.

Said, kind of with a tone, oh, those are fun for someone your age, you know, I looked at her like.

What do you mean, for someone my age?

Now, I could have let it slide, but instead I bought the boots and.

I wore them right out of the store.

And let's be honest, I probably walked.

A little slower on purpose, just so.

People, especially her, could see them.

Because here's the thing.

It's not always what people say.

It's the unspoken expectations.

Like, after 50, you're supposed to become invisible.

Unless, of course, someone needs something from you.

Like advice, a casserole, a ride to.

The airport, or help with their Amazon return.

You get the picture.

Let's be real.

These labels are like carrying around a.

Suitcase full of bricks.

Only you don't.

You didn't pack it yourself.

Somewhere along the way, we start quietly.

Refusing to answer to those labels.

Maybe you stop volunteering for every committee at work or church because it gets.

To be too much.

I remember my Former pastor used to say that 20% of the people do 80% of the work.

And trust me, I truly believe that.

Maybe you started saying no to obligations that drained you.

Maybe you booked that solo trip.

Maybe you wore the red boots in that dress.

You didn't make a big announcement.

You just stopped playing along.

And sometimes that's the most powerful move of all.

Here are a few stories from women who did just that.

Carol.

She's 62.

She told me I used to feel.

Responsible for everyone's happiness.

If my kids were upset, if my husband was stressed, I thought it was my job to fix it.

Now I listen, I support, but I don't carry it all.

She said she realized that she's not the family therapist.

And you know what?

After I read that note from Carol.

It so reminded me of me.

For some reason, I feel I need to be the fixer for everyone.

I recently started paying attention to this.

I'm not sure if it's a control thing or what it is, but it's something that I'm working on as it.

Will wear you out.

Then there's Linda.

She said a coworker once told her that you're too old to start something new.

So what does she do?

She started her own business.

Best decision she ever made, she told me.

And then there was a third one that wrote in, she wanted to remain anonymous.

So we'll call her Katie.

She said I stopped dyeing my hair.

I was terrified at first, but now.

I love my silver strands.

They're my badge of honor.

And I'll just add, if you're still managing the group text, coordinating family vacations, and printing everybody's boarding passes, you're a.

Full time project manager with no pto.

No bonus, and definitely no HR department.

It's okay to step back from all of that.

It doesn't make you selfish, it makes you smart.

Let's be real.

Some of the labels that we carried, we didn't choose.

But we can choose to stop answering to them.

So here are a few mic drop truths that I want you to carry into this week.

You're not too old to start over.

You're not required to be everyone's emotional life raft.

You are not responsible for keeping the peace at your own expense.

You're not too much.

You've just outgrown playing small.

Let's make this practical.

Number one, say no.

Period.

You don't have to explain, you don't have to soften it.

Try this.

No, I'm not available.

And then, girl, sip your tea.

Number Two, check your inner voice.

Replace I should with I choose.

Say I choose to rest.

I choose not to engage.

I choose me.

3.

Start a done list.

At the end of the day, jot down what you did, even if it's just made up the bed and drank some water.

Celebrate that, because some days, that's a win.

And then four, be around people who get it.

Find the folks who say, girl, wear the boots.

Not the one who asks why, just the ones who say.

And then text me the pictures of you in them.

And then five.

Try one new thing.

Not for your resume, not for your family.

Just for the you that's still becoming.

Take the class, book the trip, buy the bright lipstick.

If not now, then when?

All right, before we close out, here are your official Becoming Series permission slips.

You have permission to wear whatever makes.

You feel good to brunch.

You have permission to take a nap and not apologize for it.

You have permission to not answer the phone just because it rings.

You have permission to say, that's not for me.

You have permission to be the main character in your own story.

And most of all, you have permission to stop answering to labels that no longer fit.

Here's an affirmation.

Say it with me.

Listen to it, write it down, and say it later.

I don't owe anyone the smaller version of myself.

I am not too much.

I am just enough.

And I no longer answer to who.

They needed me to be.

So as we close out the Becoming.

Series, I want to remind you, you.

Are not here to shrink.

You are not here to be convenient.

You are not here to live up.

To someone else's idea of who you.

Were supposed to be.

You are here to shine.

You're here to evolve.

And you're here to become.

So the next time someone tries to hand you an old label, smile, pause and think to yourself, I don't have to answer to that anymore.

If this series has spoken to your spirit, I'd love to hear from you.

Send me a message, drop a comment.

Or share your own.

I don't answer to that anymore moment with me.

I just might feature it in a future episode.

And if you know a woman who's.

Still figuring out who she's becoming, then send this episode and share the series with her.

Let's start the conversation.

Until next time, keep rising, keep releasing, and keep aging with grace, style, and a touch of sass.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

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Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.