So I know that I say that I only watch shows about murder.

My children walk into my office all the time 'cause I have

YouTube TV usually playing on my computer screen

on the far left side of my

snowplow. I have a giant curved computer

monitor, and when you're installing it, it has to be like

flat, like upright and flat instead of,

upright and up. That doesn't make sense. But when you do that, it looks like

a snowplow. And so we call it the snowplow. Anyway,

my children will walk in and say,

Mom, can I color in here? And I'll say, yeah, but let me

pause my show. And they'll be like, are you watching murder shows

again? I'll be like, yes, obviously I'm watching murder shows, but I don't wanna watch

murder shows around them because they are a little young for murder shows.

And so because I love my children so much, I will pause

my murder shows. That is a sign of true devotion.

I don't care what you say. Anyway, sometimes

contrary to popular belief and probably the persona that I

effuse on the regular, I, I don't watch murder shows. And

lately I have been watching, uh, HBO Max has some,

some kind of features on on

older, mostly deceased stars. And so I

watched one on— I think it's relatively new— I watched one on— or maybe not—

on Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I watched one on,

uh, I'm totally blanking on a number of them. I watched one

on,

uh, Elizabeth Taylor. I probably watched 6 or 7 of them. 7 of

them. One of them was on George Carlin. My dad

loves George Carlin, and there is no planet where I should

have grown up on George Carlin, and I very much grew up on

George Carlin. Um, I knew

way more about George Carlin than any 8-year-old ever should have

known about George Carlin. But my, uh, my dad

was a huge— my dad was a huge George Carlin fan and

one of his, I just, one of his greatest

moments of sadness. I don't know if it was actually a moment of sadness, but

it was maybe a moment of disbelief. Uh, you know,

mind you, he was an addiction psychiatrist, but like part of George

Carlin's whole persona is that he was blown away on cocaine all

the time. Like it was like his deal. Uh, and I guess he got,

he got sober toward the end of his life. And, and

my dad, I think it was like confirmation for my dad that the '70s were

over. It was heartbreaking to him. Like his youth was gone.

If George Carlin is sober, that means that we are all

old people now. George Carlin was the one who was never, like, it was never

gonna happen for, and he did get sober. Good for him. But also heartbreaking to

my dad for whatever reason. Anyway,

um, so the documentary itself is fascinating and, and watching his career

progression and watching him go from the suit and tie to the

counterculture guy, his plays on words, the way that he would

twist, the ways he would twist language, the ways that

he would question language, all of it fascinating, especially if you're somebody like me who

kind of does some of that naturally in my brain. And

somebody, you know, when you write a lot, which

I do, I hear

I hear sentences with the same

kind of,

with the same kind of cadence or

meter that I think a lot of musicians hear their music with.

And so like, I'll read a sentence back and

I can tell whether it's right or not based on how it feels, not

necessarily what's actually on the page. And

certain things just like, it either, it either

works or it doesn't. Um, and I tend to hear,

I don't hear them as music, but I hear them as,

as kind of melodic in my head as far as like whether it works or

whether it doesn't. If the, if the things sound like they're in the right order,

if there's a better word, if, if I'm missing the point, if it's

making the right, you know, if it's hitting the right chord, if it's hitting the

right emotion. And so, you know, words are really important to me,

but there was a part, and I very

much remember this show. George Carlin had a sitcom in,

uh, the early, early-ish '90s. He called it a

standup sitcom, which I still, I still, I don't remember

much, but I still remember the commercial for

his sitcom. Where he explains that it's a

standup sitcom. And to this day, like that's imprinted on my brain.

But he only, I think he only did the show for 1 or 2 seasons.

It probably was 1 season before it got canceled, even though it did fairly well.

And it was because he hated it. I mean, I think there was also just

general issues with the network and, and he could be pretty difficult to work with,

but he didn't like doing it. And so they were discussing

why he walked away from it, even though technically he got fired,

but they're discussing why it didn't work. And

somebody described it as

he, he needed to be on the road. He needed to be talking

to large groups of people because

those interactions give you the

little extra hug that you can only get from strangers.

And it was like, I don't

even, I literally like hit pause and I just went,

oh shit. I think that's what I've

always been unable to describe. Why am I

willing to get on this microphone

and say whatever pops into my brain

in front of last year, 100,000

downloads worth of people.

But if I run into you on the street and you're like,

hey, I listened to your podcast yesterday, or you, or I know you

personally and you tell me that you engage with my content, I'm like,

what? Why?

Why would you do that? That does not seem correct. Don't do that. Don't do

that. That's not for you. That is for 100,000. Of my closest friends.

That is not for you. And I

didn't know that any, I mean, I, I've talked to other people who feel that

way and who kind of feel that embarrassment when somebody they actually know in real

life engages with something that they do for the internet

people. I have talked to other people who are like that, but I didn't know

that anybody had ever described it in a way that

finally made it make sense. And that's exactly what

it is. It's that little extra hug that you

can only get from strangers. Do I

need validation from strangers? No. Am I

fine without it? Yeah. But is it nice to

kind of know that somebody who only

knows you from the mouth runnings that you do on

the internet is actually getting something from it? And get the feedback

from them that you would literally rebuff if it came from

somebody you knew. Yeah, it is kind of nice.

So thank you for my little extra hug

that you guys give me by listening.

If, if you're out there, hello. Yes.

Okay. Um, because that's what it's

about and is, should it be about that? I don't know. But if

that's what George Carlin was after, then I think I'm okay with it. 'Cause he

is one, he's one of the few people in the world who had a

microphone who was more foul-mouthed than I am.

Like, like I can, I can go

toe to toe with the best of them. You guys don't even see the worst

of it. And if it's okay for him and if it's what motivates

him, then I'm gonna, I'm gonna be okay with it motivating me too. I've always

kind of liked makeup. I, I like,

I like playing with makeup. I like wearing makeup. Usually it

very much goes against my soft pants,

shoeless vibe. Like, it, it is

counter, counterintuitive to like 90% of,

of this persona that I, that I

espouse, I guess. But I like makeup. In the last

Probably 3 to 4 months. So

one of, one of my cozy habits

when I need, when I wanna turn my brain off and just like do nothing

else is I like to lay in my bed

and scroll my phone and open the Macy's app

and look at what, whatever makeup is on

sale. And I don't know why it's always the Macy's app. I don't, it just

is. I don't know. But I, like, if I,

if, if 80-year-old women could doom scroll, that

would, that's like, that's my vibe. Like, like

Edna, Edna, your, your

mom's neighbor who crochets

potholders and goes to Macy's to get her

moisturizer. Like that's, that's the vibe I'm going for. And so that's just

been like that. That's been my wind down on Friday nights

for forever is you can usually find me scrolling my phone being like, ooh,

moisturizer's on sale. I don't usually buy much. I

very rarely buy much, but I like to look. In the last couple of

months, I don't exactly know why, except for the fact that I think my

brain just needs little pockets of joy, just like

desperately needs little pockets of joy. I, it has gone from

like a passing interest to like a full hyperfixation.

And I can tell you all the things about all the stuff. And there's

lists. Of course we've made lists. It's me. There's so many lists.

And I can tell you who has sales when. I can tell you, especially

during Christmas, I was like, oh no, don't buy that now. You need to buy

that next week because it was like, it was like a whole thing. Uh, it

still is a whole thing. I have a, I have an entire drawer,

like I had to get a second set of drawers in my office. To hold

all of my makeup because I, if I see new stuff and I'm like, must

try. And then it, and then it usually gets delivered. I don't ever leave the

house to go get it, which is hilarious because like putting on makeup to be

in my house is not super useful, but I do it anyway. But

then, and I get like, I get like the 10 minutes of dopamine that I

need to go back and do whatever I have to do for the rest of

the day. So it's become like a thing and,

uh, My entire Christmas list for my husband was

makeup. And one day he walks into my office and he is like, can you

pick something that isn't stupid makeup? And I was like, but that's what I want.

And he was like, yeah, but it's like, it's like 2 entire

shopping carts full of makeup. And I was like, do you want it to be

3? And he was like, well, okay, no, but like, he was like, is there

anything that you want that isn't makeup? And I'm like, no, not really. That's That's

what I want. And so I,

uh, I went into, I, I

went into, he, he, my husband organizes all the presents before they

need to be wrapped. And he handed me this thing and he was like, can

you wrap this for my mom? It's some makeup that she wanted. And I swear

to God, it was like, it was like a light went off and I was

like, your mom wants makeup? Tell me more about your mom wanting makeup. What kind

of makeup does she want? And he hands it to me and I was like,

where did you buy this? And he goes, I don't know. I just bought it

from the link that she sent me. And I'm like, no, but what store? No,

no, no. That's not where you get this. We need to return this and go

get this somewhere else. And he's like, why? And I was like, well, 'cause it's

on sale and this is, you can get. And he was like, oh, he's like,

okay, that's fine. And then he hands me another thing of this like serum,

serum stuff from Lancôme that she wanted. It

was super expensive. And he was like, he was like, all right, I bought this,

but it's not here yet. And I was like, wait, you already bought this? And

he goes, yeah. And I was like, where'd you buy it from?

Uh, and he told me, and I was like, you need to return that and

buy this one instead. And I like pull up my phone and he's like, that's

not what she asked for. And I was like, no, but it's a set. So

you bought just the thing and it was $101. I, this

was not anything that he showed me. Like you just bought this. That's

1.7 ounces and it was $101. If you buy this, it's the exact same size,

but it comes in a kit and it's only $89. And then you can use

this coupon and it'll take another $15 off of it if you buy it from

here. I was like, I think we can still get it in time. And

this is not anything we had talked about before. This is not—

he did not know that I knew anything about this item at all.

And he looks at me and he's like, I have a question for you. And

I said, what? And he goes, what did you have for lunch?

I was like, I don't know. I've, I don't,

I have no idea. He was like, okay, just making

sure. What did I pay for this item that you have never seen? And I

was like, that was $54. He's like, that's not normal. He's like,

that, that's not normal. That's not normal at all.

And I was like, can you just leave me alone? I just—

fine. So then he did very nicely get me a bunch of the things that

I wanted that I would never buy for myself because they're too expensive and I

would never spend the money on them myself. And his mom also was very lovely

and bought me several of them and I'm it was very, very nice. And

shortly thereafter it was my birthday. And on my birthday

I was scrolling Sephora, which I do

multiple times a day. Shut up, leave me alone. And

they had, I, I realized they had a bunch of the stuff that I got

on sale and there was another discount on it. And so I put a bunch

of them in my cart and set it for pickup. And we, we were headed

out that night anyway to go pick some stuff up.

And so I figured we would just run past there and,

uh, and then I took the ones that I hadn't opened and I put them

back in the bag, uh, that we still had and got the

receipt and I was like, we'll just take these back and I'll go pick up

the ones that I ordered. And so I said to my

husband that we need to stop by Sephora cuz I need to return these. And

he was like, but I bought them for you and you want them. And I

said, yeah, but they went on sale. And so I just, I want to return

these because the other one, and I got more and I'll just swap them out.

And he's like, okay. So we go into Sephora and

I'm standing in the line and I hand everything to the lady and she says,

was there anything wrong with these? And I said, no, they just went on sale

today. And I, I bought other ones already. So, and she goes, and my

husband's standing behind me, he goes, yeah, I got schooled on paying too much.

He goes, apparently I, I ran afoul of the makeup

encyclopedia. I am sorry. So anyway, if you need to know

anything about makeup, including what products to use or how much

they cost or how to get it for less expensive or whether to buy it

directly from the manufacturer or from a reseller, apparently

I didn't even realize that I have become a walking receptacle for this information.

And I can tell you exactly how much this stuff costs down to the,

basically the penny, but ask me what my kids'

names are and I'm like, Oh,

there's that bigger one. And then there's that slightly smaller

one. Their names are kind of, I don't know. I'll get back

to you on that. That is what it's like in hyperfixation town

and encyclopedic knowledge town. They live like right next to each other.

It's, or they, they like on the map, they're right next to each other. And

I didn't realize how, how deeply I had been

immersed in this, but also when a new

box of things that I definitely didn't need shows up on my porch. And I

guarantee you, if I bought it for myself, it was on like super mondo

mega sale, 100% on mega sale. I do not

buy anything for myself that is anywhere— not that I need to justify

this to any of you because I know all of you love me and would

allow me to purchase whatever I want for however many dollars I want. But

if I bought it for myself, it was cheap, which makes it

better, which makes it even better because getting

something you love on sale is like the

biggest win of your whole life. And in case you were

wondering how Jewish I am, it's that Jewish. But

I got this big box of stuff that I had purchased.

I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Get your— if you like makeup,

get yourself an Ipsy subscription. The monthly box is Okay,

it's, you get fun stuff, but the sales where you get

like really, really expensive stuff and it's like 80% off and stuff

that you would never be able to get on that sale, it's the way to

go. That's my recommendation. Get a Nipsey subscription. Anyway,

uh, I got this big box in the middle of like a really shitty day

and I opened it and it had all these

L2 toys. That's just basically what they are. It's all toys. That's what I'm buying

it for. In the same way that my husband buys vintage video games and fills

up my entire front room with them, I do the same thing with makeup. And

I was like giddy, like,

hehehe, hehehe, ooh, I never thought I would get this and I have it now.

And then I got to play with all of them and I get to play

with them every day. And odds are, if you come into my office

at any point in the several hours before I have a phone call

where I need to be on camera, I will be here with like half of

my makeup on because I've been fidgeting and fumbling

while I'm doing other stuff. And it takes me like 2 or 3 hours to

put on a full face of makeup cuz I'm not focused on it the whole

time. But it is so fun. So anyway, if I can

help you with your beauty purchases, I would be happy to do that. But you

might wanna get on it now before I, before the hyperfixation runs out

and I end up with a whole cabinet full of makeup that I'm like, what

am I supposed to do with this? What am I supposed to do with this?

That's probably not true. I've loved makeup for a long time, but Uh, it's on

hyper speed and I, and I believe that is because

if my brain did not find some way to experience

joy on the regular, it was just going to

explode. And so that is how we have mined the

dopamine and it comes in the form of cream

blush and 17 different kinds of

setting spray, all of which sit in this IKEA Alex

dresser that is right next to me. Give it a shot.

Alicia from St. Louis, Missouri has a question.

I'm great in a crisis and useless with boring everyday

stuff like bills, emails, and forms.

It makes me feel like a fraud adult. How do you make peace with being

capable in some areas and completely useless in

others? Well, first you

go to a doctor and get your requisite diagnosis of ADHD. And I say that

as somebody who's not a clinician and has no right to diagnose you of that,

but I know, I know a fair number of ADHD people and that is

like classic. I'm gonna out my brother here. My brother

is excellent,

excellent in a crisis.

Incredible in a crisis. You, something bad

happens, something difficult happens, he will have a 7-part action

plan. He will manage all the people. He will make sure all the things get

done. He will, he will see it to,

I don't even say to the end. He'll

see it to the least interesting part or the less interesting

part. And then it's probably someone else's problem.

Uh, but that is like. Super, super,

like that is a very well-defined personality type.

There are things you're gonna be bad at. I, I run 4

businesses and have a successful podcast. I am

busy every minute of every day. I am maybe the most

hyper-capable person I know in most things, and I don't say that to brag. I'm

saying it to make a point. I am super, I can build a

new business with an entire strategic design in 30 seconds

in my head. It is, I'm so good at it.

I cannot run a damn calendar to save my life.

If you want something to end up on the calendar and you ask me to

do it, it's either not going to happen or I'm going to do it

wrong. It doesn't matter what calendar

programs you give me. It doesn't matter what kind of booking links you create.

I'm bad at it. Part of it is that I

just hate making calendar invites. I don't know why. It

is like the most benign part of my day. But making

calendar invites just like causes rage deep

within my soul. I don't know why, but also like

figuring out all of the people, finding all the email addresses, making sure you've got

it in the right time zone, making sure you've coordinated the right time, make—

nope. I hate it. I can't do it. I

do it wrong. I forget to put the, the invite link on

there. I, I, I, I'm bad at it.

I literally pay, depending on the situation, I pay

multiple people to handle my calendar cuz I'm that

bad at it. I'm so bad at it. It's like, it's

not even a running joke. It's just like a, like a mutually understood thing among

the people I work with. Don't ask L2 to make a calendar

invite. She will either forget or screw it up, and the screw up

will be worse than the forgetting. I promise.

At some point, I just stopped fighting that. Could I probably get better at

calendar management? Sure. But is that where my time and

energies are needed? No.

I can tell you with certainty

that being reliable in a crisis is

one of the most valuable skills you can ever have.

By a margin of a ton. Knowing,

keeping calm in a crisis, knowing how to handle things in

a crisis, knowing how to

find resources, knowing how to stay

organized, that is an exceptional

skill. And maybe that's what you should be trading on.

Maybe you're doing the wrong things. Like

crisis management is a career. There,

maybe you're doing the wrong things. Maybe there's nothing wrong with you. You're just doing

the wrong things. So

like there's, there's lots of nuance to that. However,

I don't think, and if you want to get better at the day-to-day

kind of work-a-day stuff that is less interesting, there are tools available.

There's lots of actually really good apps for it that I've tested out recently. There's.

There's tons of different ways that you can get better at it, but also like,

I don't think you should be, you should beat yourself up for doing something

naturally that like 99% of people are terrible at. Most people

become completely useless in a crisis. If you're not that,

then maybe we're just leaning on the wrong

thing. Ipsy, I-P-S-Y.

I'm literally just sticking my hand in this drawer into one of the many

dividers that are in here. That's one of probably

3 handfuls of eyeliner and mascara.