Perry Maughmer [00:00:00]:

Welcome to the Relentless Few. My name is Perry Maughmer, and I'm your host. And today, we're we're in part two, evaluating or sharing about the I'm sharing about the change in the, the E3, kind of the rhythm of an intentional life is what I what I refer to it as. And that's the first was explore. Today, we're gonna talk about experimentation. And then the next one, we'll talk about evaluation. And and that's, the three components to this kind of rhythm, the three activities that we involve ourselves in. So today, we're talking about experiment, and that's the power of doing your own thing.

Perry Maughmer [00:00:36]:

And it's actually taking action without safety of guarantees because that's what experiments are. And and we're exploring without a fixed outcome or destination, and that can actually produce better outcomes for ourselves. So, this is where this is the point at which we stop thinking and start doing. But not just any doing, your own doing. Like, you're doing your thing. Not a formula somebody else handed you, but this is a raw, real, unfiltered attempt to create your own story. And this is where you gotta have a little bit of courage to do this. And that this is really the power of doing your own thing.

Perry Maughmer [00:01:15]:

And and experimentation, if we experiment, it means we risk being wrong. It means stepping away from certainty and making a move anyway. It it it is not about perfect execution. It's about daring to make a move that is truly yours, that belongs to you and aligns with what you want. So experimentation is really rooted in a willingness to take action without knowing an outcome. It's about moving from from thought to commitment even when there's doubt that remains. And the leap itself is an affirmation of personal freedom, the willingness to take that step. It's, one of my favorite one of my favorite things is, you know, in existentialism, they say that when you stand on the edge of a of a precipice, like, you stand at the edge of a of a hill or you stand at the edge of a of a stairs or you stand at the edge of a cliff or whatever that is, and you get that you get that, like, that queasy feeling, like, when you get that kinda disequilibrium when you're standing at the edge and looking over something, you it existentialism says it isn't because you're afraid to fall.

Perry Maughmer [00:02:23]:

It's because you know you have the power to jump. That's why you get queasy because that is and this is in existentialism, this is nausea. They refer to it as nauseous. You get nausea from your freedom because you have the freedom to jump. That's why we get nauseous when we're standing on the precipice or a cliff. But that leap that we make metaphorically when we experiment, we move from exploration to experimentation. When we make that leap, that's an affirmation of our personal freedom. And it's accepting It's also we have to have a deep acceptance.

Perry Maughmer [00:03:02]:

The world doesn't guarantee success. We experiment because it's it is the most authentic authentic expression of living. It's choosing to engage despite uncertainty, and that's a powerful thing. And I think, you know, I I I love the definition of I I love the thought of choosing what sets you on fire and then burn for it. If we if you can choose what sets you on fire and just burn for it. Because we have to bracket, and we talked about that in the last episode. We have to bracket the fear of failure. If we're gonna experiment authentically, we have got to set aside the fear of looking foolish or making mistakes.

Perry Maughmer [00:03:46]:

It's not now this isn't about being reckless. It's about removing the judgment that often keeps us from trying anything new in the first place because we are our own worst enemy when it comes to this. We will judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. And I know it feels like almost like death. It feels like, oh my god. If this happens, I would just die of embarrassment. And we say that. We'll just die from embarrassment.

Perry Maughmer [00:04:12]:

Nobody's gonna die from embarrassment. Nobody cares. Like, they might get a good laugh out of it. So what? It's a great story. Like, it's funny because oftentimes and I don't know about you, but I often admire other people who are willing to do that, who are willing to in our in in the way we talk about it, looks stupid. Right? It's funny because we we admire people who do it, but we won't do it ourselves. We won't wanna be the person that's admired because, oh my God, I could never do that. Yeah.

Perry Maughmer [00:04:44]:

You could. That's just an assumption about yourself that you can break if you want to. You can bracket that assumption and you can take action alternatively. The the idea here is to immerse yourself so fully in the act of trying that success or failure becomes secondary. Again, think about that. You if you immerse yourself so fully in the attempt, in the in the activity, that success or failure becomes secondary. It it ceases the matter because you're so immersed in the activity that whether you succeed or whether you fail doesn't really matter because it's not the point. Remember, the only joy you find at the top of the mountain is the joy you brought with you.

Perry Maughmer [00:05:34]:

Summoning the mountain brings no joy. It doesn't change your life. It doesn't make you any different at all. And and you think about different things like in jazz, improvisation means creating in the moment without knowing if it'll work. The beauty isn't in the perfection, but it's in the courage to play your own notes. Because if it doesn't cost you something, it's not real. If it doesn't cost you something, it's not real. You just gotta you gotta start playing.

Perry Maughmer [00:06:13]:

Make sense of it as you go. So here's some ways we can we can think about acting without certainty. First of all, as we've kind of touched on, release the pressure to be right. I mean, think about something you've been hesitant to try because you're worried it won't go well. I I come on. Everybody has this. And it could be for fun. It could be for work.

Perry Maughmer [00:06:37]:

It could be with your family. It doesn't matter. Something if you've got a list of things you've wanted to do, but you're worried about doing it because you don't think it'll work out well. What if you bracketed that

Perry Maughmer [00:06:47]:

fear? How would it feel to do it without caring about the outcome? In fact, we have to

Perry Maughmer [00:06:55]:

start asking ourselves more and more, why do outcomes matter?

Perry Maughmer [00:07:01]:

Do they? Really? I mean, I realize you

Perry Maughmer [00:07:05]:

don't wanna go through life not not caring about any outcome, but here's the the kind of the paradox of if you wanna call it the paradox of outcome thinking, is we're not even in charge of the outcome. John Adams, our second president, was was credited with saying the following, duty is ours, the results are God's. And and by and large, it's true whether you you have, you know, you you have any religious beliefs or spiritual beliefs or not. I don't care who you are. You're not in charge of the outcome. You are in charge of taking action, which is the experimentation part of what we're talking about. You are in charge of that. You are responsible for that, and you need to do it.

Perry Maughmer [00:07:48]:

You need to act. The world is changed by our actions, not our thoughts.

Perry Maughmer [00:07:55]:

At some point, we have to do. We can't just think.

Perry Maughmer [00:08:01]:

And that's why all of the things in this rhythm, this e three rhythm for intentional living is about action. It's about exploring, which is an action, an activity, experimenting, which is an action, an activity, and then evaluating. Again, it's an action. There's we do it because we can't get ready to get ready forever. Like, we can't, you know, read a book, watch a video, go buy new clothes, go get the gym membership, go get new shoes, Do this. Do that. Get my meals ready, blah, blah, before I actually do anything that I want to get in better shape. And that not that it belongs here, but just as an aside, that's how dopamine is released.

Perry Maughmer [00:08:46]:

Like, our brain doesn't reward us with dopamine for thinking about doing something. We don't we're not we're never gonna think our way to motivation. Dopamine, which is the the the it's a it's a neurochemical. It's the it's the chase neurochemical. It's the pursuit neurochemical. It motivates us to do something is only released once we do the thing. And if you think about this in ancient times, when when people would go hunting, they would actually start hunting and then the brain would go, oh, this is important. They need to keep going.

Perry Maughmer [00:09:19]:

I'm gonna dump some dopamine in here to keep them doing this thing that they're doing, but you don't get any dopamine from thinking about stuff. You don't get dopamine from contemplating doing something. You get dopamine from doing something, from physically moving and doing something. So another way to do this is act without a script. Think about somewhere in your life you're stuck, and usually you're stuck because you're following someone else's formula. And what would it look like if you just abandoned the script and acted on your own instincts? Write your own script. But and what I mean by that is create it as you go. Just start doing and stop trying to find the right answer.

Perry Maughmer [00:10:05]:

Stop stop trying to find the template for what you're gonna do and just do it. Lisa, my wife, is really good at this because she decided, I don't know, a year and a half ago. I'm not really good with time. It was it was last year sometime. She she always was creative by nature, but she never really fully dove into painting. So she just started doing it. She bought some canvases. She bought paint.

Perry Maughmer [00:10:31]:

She watched some YouTube couple YouTube videos, and off she went, man. She just started creating. I would see her in the house, the YouTube video on her phone as she's doing it. Like she's just working right along with the YouTube video. She wasn't studying it and studying it and watching it and preparing and reading this and do, she just did it. She's like turn on the YouTube video and started doing it. And now her, her artwork is everywhere. Like she's tried all kinds of mediums.

Perry Maughmer [00:10:59]:

She's all over the board. She, she has no fear at all about doing this, Just did it, and it motivates her to do more because she sees the result. So think about where you're following somebody else's script for yourself, and then figure out how to write your own by acting your way into it. The next thing you have to do is embrace the messiness. When when something you're working on feels messy, you know, what's what is something that you're working on that feels messy or uncertain? Instead of seeing it as a problem, what about treating it as a sign you're doing something real and personal? It should be messy. It's always messy in the middle. And so don't look at it as a problem. If something is if you're uneasy about something or something, you can't get it you can't figure it out, you can't get it done, maybe that's an indicator you're doing it right.

Perry Maughmer [00:11:54]:

The next one's a big one. Bracket your need for validation.

Perry Maughmer [00:12:01]:

Who are you who are you waiting on? Who who are you waiting on to give you permission? What would happen if you didn't wait?

Perry Maughmer [00:12:08]:

What if you just did it your way without needing anyone's approval? Most of the stuff, we don't need somebody's permission. We don't need somebody's validation. We don't what does it even matter? I mean, truly think about that. Think about where you're doing things, where you're either needing somebody's validation or permission in your mind to make some to take some kind of action. And then ask yourself the question, do you really need it, or is it an excuse? Because the next one, sometimes we use that one as a way to get out of the next point, which is you gotta be willing to risk failure. I mean, what would you do today if you could guarantee no one would judge you for your failing?

Perry Maughmer [00:12:53]:

Now write that down and consider, can

Perry Maughmer [00:12:57]:

you try it even if judgment is a possible outcome? Even if even if somebody's gonna judge you for your failure, what does it matter? Is it gonna kill you? Is it gonna somehow you're gonna end up homeless as a

Perry Maughmer [00:13:11]:

result? Yeah. You might look stupid. Who cares? What was it doctor Seuss said? The people that mind don't matter, and the people that the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind, I think. I might have that backwards. But what's doctor Seuss?

Perry Maughmer [00:13:35]:

All of it all the great insights and wisdom either comes from doctor Seuss or Winnie the Pooh. Like, you can live your life by those two things. You can read all the doctor Seuss books, read Winnie the Pooh. You got everything you need to live a great life. You don't need anything else. Sprinkle a little Seinfeld in office, and you got it all covered. Like those four things, all the answers are there. Now the next one's really important, and that is view you have to view failure as part of the process, not a part to be avoided, not a part to try to try to do without, but it's a necessary part of the process because in experimentation, failure is necessary.

Perry Maughmer [00:14:16]:

So instead of seeing failure as the end, what if it's just another note in improvisation? I mean, Thomas Edison, I don't know if he said it or not, but he was he was they said he said that I never failed at making a light bulb. I just figured out 9,999 ways not to do it. Because every every time you quote unquote fail, it's just a a data point. It that didn't work, so try this. So you're actually learning when you fail. When you're when you fail, you're learning of a way that it didn't work, so now you can move on to the next thing. Seth Godin and and I know he's credited with saying this is he said, you know, he writes a ton of books, and he goes, I've written a lot of bad books. But writing all those bad books enable me to write some good books too.

Perry Maughmer [00:15:04]:

That's awesome. Like, who who's gonna ever master something right away and do only great things with whatever they're doing? I've done this, and I just realized I stopped listing the episodes, but this is, this will be episode 77. And I got news for you. I got some really bad podcast episodes. I've only done 77. Like, there's some bad ones going on. And a lot of those are when I first started out. I mean, I can't even bear to listen

Perry Maughmer [00:15:34]:

to some of them. They're horrible. Right? I mean, it

Perry Maughmer [00:15:37]:

was I one of the best things I ever did is decided to go to twenty minutes because I got some feedbacks. Like twenty minutes might be better because I would talk for forty five minutes who wants to hear somebody drone on for forty five minutes about anything. But it's all part of the process. If I didn't do those bad ones, I could never do any good ones. I'm not even know if this one's one of the good ones, but I couldn't even get I have an opportunity to keep doing it. They're not gonna be bad. They're gonna be good. They're gonna be it's part of the process.

Perry Maughmer [00:16:05]:

And then, you know, finally, just commit to one bold move. Think of a one bold experiment that reflects who you are, not who others expect you to be. And how can you take one small step towards that today? Step into who you are. Nobody knows better than you who you are. But we let all the noise in, and we let society start telling us who we are and who we should be and who we must be, and then we lose ourselves at some point. And and, you know, I I actually think this is why we have so much anxiety in our society. Because deep down inside, we know we're living a life that isn't ours. One we didn't create for ourselves.

Perry Maughmer [00:16:47]:

One that doesn't reflect our values. But you can take that back. You can figure that out today. You can take a step towards that today. It's nothing to by the way, it's nothing to fix. We don't need to be fixed. You just need to get realigned with what matters to you. You need to get back into living that in that intentional life.

Perry Maughmer [00:17:06]:

That's what this that's what this rhythm is supposed to do. This e three rhythm is supposed to do is it's supposed to enable you to get back to living an intentional life because you're always exploring and experimenting and evaluating for yourself against your own wishes. Like, you're you're you're identifying what you want all the time in this process. So you're always staying aligned with who you are. So you can find that that peace and that freedom regardless of what's going on in your life. Because if we're acting in accordance with those things for ourselves, we'll very rarely be out of alignment. And and I did I I allowed myself to do that for over a year. I was completely out of alignment and frustrated and frozen.

Perry Maughmer [00:17:55]:

And it just it just it didn't fix itself. I took different actions.

Perry Maughmer [00:18:03]:

And that that un that thawed me out. That broke me free from that ice. But we have to let our passion shape us and scare us and then scar us and save us. That's what we have to do, because it will shape you and scar you, but it'll also save you. So just do one thing this week that feels risky. But true to who you are, don't plan every detail, just do it. Feel the discomfort and do it anyway. Then at the end of the week, write down how it felt to take that step.

Perry Maughmer [00:18:40]:

Was it messy? Was it awkward? Did it turn out great? No matter what, that means it was real. If it was messy and awkward, it's good. Reflect on what you learned from doing it your way. Now when you feel resistance, pause, bracket that fear, take that out, and tell yourself, I'm setting aside the need to succeed. I'm choosing to act regardless. Just have that mantra. I'm setting aside the need to succeed. I'm setting aside the need to succeed, and I'm choosing to act regardless.

Perry Maughmer [00:19:10]:

My, my high school basketball coach, Tom Jones, he used to and it stuck with me from the time Tom was my basketball coach for two years. So I'd have been seventeen and eighteen years old. And to this day, it echoes in my head at halftime if things weren't going well. Tom would say in a rather intense manner, if we're gonna lose, we're gonna lose my way. And I think that that really kind of formed my thought process for living my life because I think that's what we all should do. If we're gonna lose, you know, I'll go down with the ship as long as I know I made the decisions. I have no problem at all going down as long as I'm going down being true to who I am. I I am certainly not happy to go down being someone I'm not and knowing full well that I'm doing it.

Perry Maughmer [00:20:01]:

So, I'll leave you with this. Experimentation is not about getting it right. It's about daring to create your own path even when the outcome or the path is unclear. It's about choosing action over perfection and authenticity over imitation. You cannot borrow someone else's experiment and expect it to fit in your life. You have to make your own mistakes and then learn from your own successes.

Perry Maughmer [00:20:28]:

So stay relentless, stay curious, keep experimenting. Your story is still unfolding, so make sure it's yours. Talk to you soon.