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I want to ask you right off the bat, what do you need to hear today?
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Could you use some inspiration from somebody who figured out how to turn pain into purpose?
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What about a story of a woman who went from being hurt to hosting healing retreats?
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And what about a story of that same woman who went from being homeless to housing
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and helping other women?
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And of course, I couldn't fail to mention the fact that this woman,
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the Inspirational Beauty Boss, she's going to teach you what it means to be walking in your faith.
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You are about to meet the absolutely incredible Takiyah LaShawn,
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a woman who is going to blow your mind at her level of positivity,
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at her incredible story of the challenges she's overcome,
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the challenges she still overcomes.
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And yet she is here today with a mission to inspire and empower you.
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My friend, I welcome you to episode 292.
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What's up, my friend? And welcome to Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.
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I am your host, Kevin Lowe. 20 years ago, I awoke from a life-saving surgery
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only to find that I was left completely blind.
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And since that day, I've learned a lot about life, a lot about living, and a lot about myself.
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So in here on this podcast, I want to share those insights with you because
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friend, if you are still searching for your purpose, still trying to understand why,
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or still left searching for that next right path to take, we'll consider this
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to be your stepping stone to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
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So listen, I'm putting the PSA out there. It is not too late for you to still
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take advantage of MyPillow's $25 extravaganza.
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Plus, they have their new addition to their lineup, and that is their MyCoffee.
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Please head on over to MyPillow.com using promo code Kevin.
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We're talking about up to 80% off.
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Find all details and information inside of today's show notes.
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So the Inspirational Beauty Bots is a moniker. It's a name that I go by to describe
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myself. And that came about.
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Maybe about four or five years ago, when people started asking me, you know, what do you do?
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And I kind of would freeze up, not because I didn't want to tell people what
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I did, but God has put my hands to so many amazing things that narrowing it
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down, it was almost like giving that 60 second elevator pitch.
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And so I had to come up with something that encompass everything that I am, that explains it all.
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So the inspirational beauty boss is exactly who I am and what I do.
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I have been in the beauty industry for the last 14 years.
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I'm an entrepreneur with my own line of salons and spas. And I also have launched
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my own brand of beauty products.
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So in the beauty industry, I'm an entrepreneur. So that's where the boss part comes from.
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And then the inspirational part is everything that that ties into that.
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It's the foundation and it's the platform of who I am.
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I use every bit of what I've come from and what God has brought me through.
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And he's blessed me to turn that into business, into entrepreneurship.
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And it's my purpose and it's my calling. And I just for years heard so many
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people say, you're so inspiring.
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You're so inspiring. You inspire me. What you're doing is inspiring.
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So I became the Inspirational Beauty Boss.
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I love it. That is a amazing title to have.
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I think any of us would be proud of that. And so, well, that was really amazing,
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the story behind that, because my next question is trying to figure out where it all began.
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Where does your story, your journey begin that kind of leads up to becoming
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this Inspirational Beauty Boss? Take me back to earlier years and give me an
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idea of where it all begins.
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Yeah, good question. So where my foundation begins would be in my childhood.
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I am not only a survivor and overcomer and a thriver of abuse.
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I have encountered pretty much every form of abuse that there is to have mental,
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emotional, physical, psychological and sexual abuse. And so those are things
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that where my the root of my story starts.
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And I endured many of those things in my childhood and on through my teen years,
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young adult years, and even things that God is still healing me through and
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teaching me to overcome now.
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And that foundation is where my story began.
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It's things that on the outside to the exterior were things that people would
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look at and go, wow, that should have took you out.
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Those things going through not one, not two, but many traumas are things that
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you should have lost your mind.
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You maybe should not be here. Just by statistics, God has allowed me to overcome those things.
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And he taught me to turn that pain into purpose.
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And I had to determine very early on, and I say early on because I knew before
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leaving my parents home, which was the birthplace of the trauma,
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the dysfunctional family.
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I knew very odd that I was not going to allow what I was going through to dictate
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who I was going to become.
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OK, I knew that I did not want to allow the pain of my past to be something
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that I use as an excuse in life to have this self-pity or look down on myself.
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I knew that I wanted more out of my life.
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I knew that when I became a parent, I was going to be the best version of myself that I could be.
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And I also learned very quickly that once I turned that pain into a purpose
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to help other people, because that's where I found my healing and I'm still
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on that healing journey. But that's where I found joy.
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I found joy in linking arms with other women and other people that had come
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from situations where doing things like I was in showing them that,
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you know, hey, I went through that as well.
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But I'm not letting that dictate who I am.
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I'm gonna take that and I'm actually gonna flip it upside down and I'm gonna
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step on that and I'm gonna use that as my platform to propel me into my purpose.
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And as the years went on, I started to turn that purpose into passion and that
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passion into profit, P-R-O-F-I-T.
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And so that's how this became who I have become.
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Hmm. Incredible. I listened to you.
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And the next question I have to ask is, where do you get this,
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this mindset, this amazing, I mean, boss woman spirit?
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Did it come from a role model? Or is this just you through and through?
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Wow. I think I certainly have role models, but in this sense of the term, it's who I am.
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I would say I love how you put that me through and through. It's my heart and
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my heart is rooted in my faith.
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Going through the things that I did, I went through a lot of trauma.
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I had a lot of setbacks. I had a lot of questions.
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God, why and how come? And there was this hurt and this pain and anger.
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But when I really found my relationship and my faith in Christ and with God,
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God loved on me and showed me how to heal those things.
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And he showed me his love and in showing me his love, that did something to my heart.
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And it caused me to have a heart to see people the way that he sees people,
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even in all their brokenness and their mess and their hurt and their trauma.
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I have a heart to see people.
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And so it's just who I am because God is in me and God is love.
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And I also determined I came from some of that abuse that was verbal abuse.
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I was told consistently in my childhood that I would never be anything,
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that I would not amount to anything,
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that I would just turn out to be the single mother on welfare,
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all of these things that I was still a child and didn't even really know what I was being told.
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But again, my mindset, I just knew I'm not those things.
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I'm not going to be those things. I'm going to prove people wrong and show them
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that I am something, that I do have value. you.
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And so I adopted that mindset that the only person that I have to compete with is myself.
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And each day I strive to be a better version of myself. And so it's not, I'm not this superhero.
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I go through things every day. I'm human. Like I tell people,
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you cut me, I'm going to bleed red, just like the next person.
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So I have emotions and feelings and things as well. But I just simply have a
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mentality of, I will not quit.
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I'm not built to quit. I don't know what that means. It's not in me.
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And I believe for me, having children helped to further that because I have
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these lives that I'm responsible for, not just myself.
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So I just never adopted a mentality of, I'm going to quit or give up.
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And while those things that were said to me were intended to put me down,
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they were things that I actually took and said, I'm going to prove you wrong. And I did that.
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You talk a lot about your faith. Where did that begin for you,
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your journey with faith?
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My journey with faith began when I was about 21 years old, 2021 years old.
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I was eight months pregnant with my first child, my daughter,
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and that was, gosh, she's 26 now.
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She's almost 27, which is crazy because I feel like I'm still 25.
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I was eight months pregnant with her.
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She was in in my womb, and I was working as a child care provider at a daycare.
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And the woman that owned the daycare, she invited me to her church.
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And that was my first experience.
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I didn't grow up in church. I didn't grow up in a household where we went to
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church or we talked about God or anything like that.
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So fast forward to me being 20, 21 years old, someone invites me to church and I go.
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And I just remember being encompassed by such this feeling and this desire and
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this drive to accept Christ when the altar call, when it was offered that,
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you know, ask Christ to come into your life.
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I just felt like that was the right thing to do. And I did it.
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And that was the entrance of my walk in faith.
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It took many years to get to the place where I've learned earned relationship
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and cultivating, you know, my faith with God.
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But it was started in that moment when my daughter was, I was eight months pregnant
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with my daughter in the womb and the belly.
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And so now, like I said, that was almost 27 years ago. Yeah.
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Amazing. Wow. Now my next question is before I have us kind of move forward in your, in your story,
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you sound like obviously Obviously, the home that you grew up in was not,
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and I'm just going to assume,
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a loving home, an encouraging home.
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How did you make it not turn out to be what they told you you would be, that mother on welfare?
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How do you feel like you didn't fall victim to your circumstance and instead
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broke outside of it? Yeah.
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So I'm smiling as you say that because I don't know that anybody has ever actually
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asked me that so poignantly.
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And I'm smiling so big because the first thing that comes to mind is I'm stubborn.
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If we want to sum it up in a ball, in a nutshell, I'm stubborn.
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I am going to prove you wrong.
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I am going to prove you that I'm not the negative things. I wouldn't say I'm
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competitive, but I have always been someone that's like.
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If you tell me I can't do that, I'm going to show you I can do it.
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And if you tell me that it can't be done, I'm going to show you it can be done.
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And so I just believe I have always had that as a child.
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And I wouldn't say, you know, it was a very difficult home environment.
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There are times that I recall love and laughter and joy in the home,
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but there are also times that it just turned into discord and dysfunction and no peace.
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And so I just I was stubborn. I just was like, I'm going to you tell me I can't do it. Yes, I can.
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I believe it's Audrey Hepburn.
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She said the word is actually it's not impossible.
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It's I'm possible. impossible.
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And I always see the glass is half full, never empty. Yeah, I love it so much.
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Wow, wow, wow. I love the impossible. No, I'm possible that I've never heard that before. I love it.
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I have it in I have a bunch of affirmations throughout my studio in my home.
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And that's one of them. When you walk in, when people walk in to visit me,
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there's all of these positive affirmations. And that's one of them.
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Wow. That's incredible.
00:14:13.337 --> 00:14:18.777
So back kind of on, on your life, you talked about when, when you were pregnant,
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but give me an idea of, of life from childhood, moving into adulthood,
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what did life kind of go from there?
00:14:27.057 --> 00:14:30.397
Oh, well, you know, Kevin, I was a mess.
00:14:30.637 --> 00:14:35.257
I mean, coming from trauma and abuse, I again, Again, grew up in a two-parent
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home, but my stepfather was my abuser.
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So it was like a two-parent home physically, but lacking all the other aspects of what I needed.
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And so I grew up with...
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Some traits that I had to learn lessons from.
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Like I said, I had to walk out. There was no one there to tell me what was right
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and wrong and those things that were done.
00:14:59.762 --> 00:15:03.622
And really no one there to tell me that, you know, this is the path that you
00:15:03.622 --> 00:15:04.662
should or shouldn't take.
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And so I learned a lot of lessons.
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Like I'm cautious to use the word made a lot of mistakes because I feel like
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it's only a mistake if we don't learn from the lesson, right?
00:15:16.862 --> 00:15:20.782
Like if we We don't learn from it. We're going to keep going through it.
00:15:20.842 --> 00:15:26.382
But looking back over that, I have learned in my life that to be human,
00:15:26.522 --> 00:15:32.362
to be easy on myself, to acknowledge what I've gone through and what I've come from,
00:15:32.442 --> 00:15:37.142
and to also acknowledge all the amazing things God has given me to do and just
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to be easy on myself, as well as give myself that grace to be human.
00:15:41.782 --> 00:15:47.922
And again, to learn those lessons as quickly as possible so I don't have to
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keep going through them again.
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Wow. Yes. Powerful, powerful, powerful.
00:15:54.662 --> 00:15:59.522
Talk to me about some of these these things that you went through,
00:15:59.602 --> 00:16:04.342
because I know at some point and you'll have to fill in the gaps. You were homeless.
00:16:05.822 --> 00:16:11.582
How did that all come about? Yeah. So that's one of the things that happened.
00:16:11.622 --> 00:16:17.482
My children and I, when my son was about four years old, my daughter was about 10 at this time.
00:16:17.562 --> 00:16:21.742
And I had found myself in a relationship.
00:16:22.022 --> 00:16:25.442
I thought I was going to marry this guy. We had a home together.
00:16:25.682 --> 00:16:29.562
He had his business. At this time, I had walked into entrepreneurship.
00:16:29.782 --> 00:16:32.462
I'd started a cleaning company. My daughter was two years old,
00:16:32.562 --> 00:16:37.262
was very successful. I got with someone who I thought we were successful together,
00:16:37.542 --> 00:16:40.022
and he turned out to be physically abusive.
00:16:40.382 --> 00:16:45.102
So it was just that pattern of what I'd come from. I still found myself falling
00:16:45.102 --> 00:16:47.162
into relationships like that.
00:16:47.282 --> 00:16:53.382
And I found myself in this state of deep depression because here I am,
00:16:53.382 --> 00:16:56.642
not only myself being subjected to this, but my children.
00:16:57.502 --> 00:17:02.402
And how do I get out of this? How did I get in the middle of something that
00:17:02.402 --> 00:17:03.702
I said I never would again?
00:17:03.982 --> 00:17:09.562
And I really started to spiral until one day, I actually, God gave me this,
00:17:09.622 --> 00:17:12.542
all I know how to describe it as is this out-of-body experience.
00:17:12.602 --> 00:17:17.142
Like you see in the movies, the action movies going on and then the screen slows
00:17:17.142 --> 00:17:20.462
up and everything's in slow motion and the sound goes away.
00:17:20.702 --> 00:17:24.102
I had an experience like that one day. I was standing in the home.
00:17:24.923 --> 00:17:28.323
And the guy, the gentleman that I was dating at the time engaged to,
00:17:28.463 --> 00:17:30.643
he was really angry with me.
00:17:30.743 --> 00:17:35.803
And he started walking towards me screaming and yelling as if he was going to physically harm me.
00:17:36.063 --> 00:17:41.283
And in that moment, my children were upstairs. Again, my son four, my daughter 10.
00:17:41.523 --> 00:17:45.663
And they ran down and stood on the stairwell. And they're watching this whole
00:17:45.663 --> 00:17:50.523
scene between he and I. All of a sudden, everything slows down like a movie.
00:17:50.723 --> 00:17:54.823
I could see faces, but I couldn't hear voices. I could see actions.
00:17:55.203 --> 00:18:00.203
And I hear the voice of God speak to me and say, look at your son.
00:18:00.643 --> 00:18:05.863
Is this what you want him to think he's supposed to do, how he's supposed to
00:18:05.863 --> 00:18:08.943
treat women? You know, and my son had this look on his face,
00:18:09.003 --> 00:18:10.403
like it just excited him.
00:18:10.583 --> 00:18:14.303
And then I hear, look at your daughter. And my daughter looked terrified and
00:18:14.303 --> 00:18:15.503
she's crying and she's afraid.
00:18:15.783 --> 00:18:19.083
And I hear, is this what you want your daughter to think women are supposed
00:18:19.083 --> 00:18:22.223
to be treated like? And I remember I screamed, no.
00:18:22.443 --> 00:18:27.563
And whoosh, all the sound, everything came back in. And I yelled for my kids,
00:18:27.683 --> 00:18:29.223
come on, come on, come on, let's run, let's go.
00:18:29.503 --> 00:18:34.623
And we ran in our pajamas with no shoes on our feet, left everything behind,
00:18:34.883 --> 00:18:43.023
the cleaning business, the home, vehicles, personal items, just left and ended up homeless.
00:18:43.023 --> 00:18:46.323
Homeless but I walked away with my life I
00:18:46.323 --> 00:18:49.203
walked away with my children seeing that their mom
00:18:49.203 --> 00:18:52.223
was not going to allow them to
00:18:52.223 --> 00:18:55.683
grow up in a environment that
00:18:55.683 --> 00:19:00.123
perpetuated the abuse that I had come from and so in that day I changed the
00:19:00.123 --> 00:19:04.963
trajectory of my children and their mindset my daughter knows you do not allow
00:19:04.963 --> 00:19:09.803
a man to physically hurt harm or endanger you my son knows you do not ever put
00:19:09.803 --> 00:19:13.203
your hand on and physically hurt, harm or endanger a woman.
00:19:13.343 --> 00:19:19.623
And so we ended up homeless. And that actually was one of the most pivotal moments
00:19:19.623 --> 00:19:22.083
in my life because it was tough.
00:19:22.803 --> 00:19:28.263
But it was in that moment that God gave me a clean slate and he put me in the beauty industry,
00:19:28.403 --> 00:19:31.383
which took me through the 14
00:19:31.383 --> 00:19:36.983
year journey of self-esteem and self-love and self-care and women's empowerment
00:19:36.983 --> 00:19:41.403
and becoming the inspirational beauty boss and authoring and publishing six
00:19:41.403 --> 00:19:46.243
books and becoming a talk show host and a podcast host and just so many things
00:19:46.243 --> 00:19:49.563
and sitting here now sharing that testimony and telling this story.
00:19:50.383 --> 00:19:57.583
Wow, wow, wow, wow. Before I get to the question of how do you transition from
00:19:57.583 --> 00:20:03.763
running out of that home to being homeless to all that you just gave us a preview you for.
00:20:04.043 --> 00:20:09.543
I just want to acknowledge one fact that even way back then,
00:20:09.643 --> 00:20:12.143
what an amazing mom you were.
00:20:13.058 --> 00:20:18.938
The fact that the fact that you put your children first, you put their safety
00:20:18.938 --> 00:20:25.238
first, but not even just their safety, but you had this opportunity to make a glimpse at the future.
00:20:25.638 --> 00:20:30.818
And again, you were able to remove them from a situation, remove yourself,
00:20:31.038 --> 00:20:34.598
throw yourself into homelessness.
00:20:34.898 --> 00:20:36.078
So scary.
00:20:36.578 --> 00:20:41.698
So just unknown, uncertain. certain, but you knew that was worth it.
00:20:41.718 --> 00:20:46.378
If you could save the lives of your children and not just their life,
00:20:46.438 --> 00:20:47.718
but who they would become.
00:20:48.358 --> 00:20:50.098
Yeah. Amen. Exactly.
00:20:50.838 --> 00:20:56.278
Exactly. Gosh, you had me tearing up, just reminding me and putting it like that.
00:20:56.418 --> 00:20:58.918
I mean, that's 100% what it was about.
00:20:59.098 --> 00:21:03.898
It was me making sure they were okay and changing the trajectory of their lives.
00:21:03.998 --> 00:21:08.418
And while we left and And when we left, I mean, we were living comfortably,
00:21:08.658 --> 00:21:10.798
you know, beautiful home, vehicles.
00:21:11.118 --> 00:21:14.718
He had a business. I had, you know, on the outside looking in,
00:21:14.758 --> 00:21:19.538
we look like the great, you know, all American family. We achieved success.
00:21:19.678 --> 00:21:26.158
I had come out of my back story and now I have kids and I'm going to get married and she's doing great.
00:21:26.218 --> 00:21:30.158
But inside of those walls, there was still turmoil going on.
00:21:30.158 --> 00:21:35.398
And so to leave all of that and to end up homeless by choice,
00:21:35.718 --> 00:21:38.878
people would go. And here's the thing. I had friends.
00:21:38.998 --> 00:21:42.538
I had family. I could have called on people and said, look, I need a place.
00:21:42.598 --> 00:21:47.698
But I will tell you, I was so ashamed that I had ended up in that space that
00:21:47.698 --> 00:21:51.878
I felt like I got to figure this out and fix it myself. Looking back on it now,
00:21:52.078 --> 00:21:54.998
I probably wouldn't have made that because so many of my friends are like,
00:21:55.058 --> 00:21:56.358
I can't believe you didn't call me.
00:21:56.438 --> 00:21:58.698
So I was always surrounded by love.
00:21:58.818 --> 00:22:02.418
But it was just one of those things where I allowed the shame and the guilt
00:22:02.418 --> 00:22:04.078
to say, you got to figure this out for yourself.
00:22:04.498 --> 00:22:08.558
And I remember telling God, I made this choice. I made this mess.
00:22:08.918 --> 00:22:11.818
Whatever we're in, I'm going to trust you fully.
00:22:12.473 --> 00:22:17.173
I know you're going to bring us out of this. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't look good.
00:22:17.213 --> 00:22:20.733
I'm going to trust that you have better in store for me. And he did.
00:22:20.913 --> 00:22:25.413
And so that transition from having it all together to losing everything.
00:22:25.533 --> 00:22:33.233
And we actually ended up living on a farm, sleeping in a barn and a horse trailer and a tack room.
00:22:33.373 --> 00:22:36.873
I ended up meeting this woman and I kind of gave her part of my story,
00:22:36.933 --> 00:22:39.153
but not all of it because I don't want to share everything. thing.
00:22:39.193 --> 00:22:43.633
And she says, you know, well, I have this place that you can stay in. You can stay there free.
00:22:43.773 --> 00:22:48.053
It's not the greatest thing. So I took it. And eventually we became really good
00:22:48.053 --> 00:22:49.233
friends because she learned my
00:22:49.233 --> 00:22:52.013
story and was like, well, let's get you and your kids out of this place.
00:22:52.293 --> 00:22:57.313
But in that space, living in that barn, sleeping in a tack room or sleeping
00:22:57.313 --> 00:23:00.873
in a horse trailer with my two kids, I will tell you what, Kevin,
00:23:01.033 --> 00:23:03.053
my kids did not skip a beat.
00:23:03.173 --> 00:23:06.353
They were so resilient. resilient they were happy that we
00:23:06.353 --> 00:23:09.293
were out of that situation to them it was an adventure
00:23:09.293 --> 00:23:12.433
and I made it as such there were nights that I
00:23:12.433 --> 00:23:17.773
would cry and I would lay on my face boohoo crying to God about ending up homeless
00:23:17.773 --> 00:23:21.293
and being in a situation but then there were days that my kids I'd look and
00:23:21.293 --> 00:23:25.633
they were out there in this field running and playing with horses and feeding
00:23:25.633 --> 00:23:30.053
chicken and it was the most enjoyable and peaceful time of their lives and they
00:23:30.053 --> 00:23:31.373
had no clue that we We were homeless.
00:23:31.573 --> 00:23:34.753
They just knew mom got us out of this situation and we're good.
00:23:35.193 --> 00:23:39.933
Yeah. You know, that's exactly what I started to say is they probably didn't
00:23:39.933 --> 00:23:44.533
realize it then, but they had been taught one of the most valuable lessons of
00:23:44.533 --> 00:23:47.113
life is that the things that matter are family.
00:23:47.933 --> 00:23:54.053
It's being together. It's life. It's none of those big homes and fancy cars and all of that.
00:23:54.093 --> 00:23:59.913
That's just stuff. What matters is being with family, being safe,
00:24:00.253 --> 00:24:02.093
feeling safe, feeling love.
00:24:03.003 --> 00:24:07.203
And that's exactly what you gave to your children. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:08.863 --> 00:24:15.783
So talk to me from there. I mean, I mean, I mean, let's just like paint the picture like, woo,
00:24:15.983 --> 00:24:21.443
baby, this is like the rags to riches movie that we all be watching on Hallmark
00:24:21.443 --> 00:24:26.863
Channel about the girl in the tack room on the farm to where you are today.
00:24:27.043 --> 00:24:30.683
So so let's you got to skim us along.
00:24:30.843 --> 00:24:35.323
Let's let's hear it. So, yeah, that's so funny you put it like that,
00:24:35.403 --> 00:24:38.983
because, I mean, I always tell people of my life is literally a Lifetime movie.
00:24:39.103 --> 00:24:44.483
Like I am so waiting on Lifetime Movie Network to reach out to me because it's a it's it's good.
00:24:45.003 --> 00:24:51.163
Yes. Amazing movie. So coming through all of that, where is this woman at today?
00:24:51.323 --> 00:24:56.263
As I mentioned, you know, one of the things that I I have always been a writer,
00:24:56.343 --> 00:25:00.783
even in my childhood, I would write very exceptionally. emotionally.
00:25:01.003 --> 00:25:03.843
I was noted, I was commended and noticed for that.
00:25:03.943 --> 00:25:07.183
And I learned that that was a gifting and a talent that God gave me.
00:25:07.203 --> 00:25:10.863
And so as I started maturing, I wrote because it was therapeutic.
00:25:11.163 --> 00:25:14.983
It was a way for me to talk about what I was going through when I didn't have
00:25:14.983 --> 00:25:17.543
anybody to talk to, or I couldn't trust anyone.
00:25:17.863 --> 00:25:20.163
So I would write. And so now I'm,
00:25:20.440 --> 00:25:26.460
I write as an author. I've written and published six books ranging from my first,
00:25:26.660 --> 00:25:30.800
which talks about my story and that homelessness and everything we've talked
00:25:30.800 --> 00:25:35.740
about here on up through women's devotionals, self-help journals.
00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.400
You know, just different things I write.
00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:44.020
I've launched a podcast, Behind This Smile, which is the platform for the next
00:25:44.020 --> 00:25:48.440
book that I'll be releasing called Behind This Smile. And it's me going behind
00:25:48.440 --> 00:25:53.020
those photos that you see of me on social media, the rags to riches.
00:25:53.140 --> 00:25:56.080
Look at this girl. She's smiling. She's happy. She's traveling.
00:25:56.220 --> 00:25:59.920
Yeah, but let me take you behind the smile and tell you what I was enduring
00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:04.500
behind that and go deeper and be very vulnerable and authentic and transparent.
00:26:04.760 --> 00:26:08.640
And so that's what the podcast talks about. That's what the book will talk about.
00:26:08.840 --> 00:26:14.780
I founded a nonprofit, Heal Her, which offers restorative retreats to women
00:26:14.780 --> 00:26:19.500
where they can and have safe spaces and gatherings and events and getaways and
00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:24.220
be connected with counselors and therapists for resources and just have that
00:26:24.220 --> 00:26:26.900
mental health moment or that mom day if they need it.
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:31.840
I work with youth. I love working with youth girls and talking to them about
00:26:31.840 --> 00:26:37.020
where I came from when I was their age so I can hopefully inspire them and cut those things off.
00:26:37.460 --> 00:26:40.480
And I just, you know, I'm living life.
00:26:40.660 --> 00:26:44.360
I'm enjoying podcasting. It's very therapeutic for me.
00:26:44.440 --> 00:26:49.240
I'm enjoying the of speaking and it's, it's snowballing really quickly.
00:26:49.340 --> 00:26:53.540
I'm getting all kinds of opportunities and offers and open doors and I'm just
00:26:53.540 --> 00:26:55.280
enjoying life. I really am.
00:26:55.760 --> 00:27:01.960
Yeah. Oh my goodness. You are the inspirational, amazing, awesome beauty boss.
00:27:02.200 --> 00:27:04.600
I mean, we got to add some more words to the title.
00:27:06.740 --> 00:27:12.200
Wow. I mean, I mean, but, but truly, and, and I mean, here's what I want to
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:18.060
acknowledge is, I mean, And it's not easy to build what you've built.
00:27:19.316 --> 00:27:25.076
It's not easy to be an entrepreneur. It's easier to be an employee. That is the easy route.
00:27:25.516 --> 00:27:30.536
But the fact that you did it and that you've done it, it's really remarkable.
00:27:31.156 --> 00:27:37.676
Yeah, it has not been easy. And I don't ever want anyone to have the misconception
00:27:37.676 --> 00:27:40.616
that it's just been so easy.
00:27:40.736 --> 00:27:45.356
Sounds like it was a walk in the park for her. No. No, enduring all of those
00:27:45.356 --> 00:27:49.896
things that I've gone through, the trauma, raising children as a single mother,
00:27:50.136 --> 00:27:53.676
building business while I raised my children as a single mother,
00:27:53.876 --> 00:27:58.296
learning of my own trauma and the impact of that, having diagnosis.
00:27:58.936 --> 00:28:03.636
I'm 47 now and I was in my early 40s the first time I saw a therapist.
00:28:03.976 --> 00:28:10.216
And it felt so liberating and so freeing because she put a title to what I had
00:28:10.216 --> 00:28:16.316
been dealing with. She said I was diagnosed extreme PTSD and severe depression.
00:28:16.736 --> 00:28:20.376
And those are harsh things to hear. But I'll tell you, when I heard it,
00:28:20.456 --> 00:28:26.616
I felt like this weight lifted, not because I had these diagnosis, but, oh, I'm not crazy.
00:28:26.836 --> 00:28:32.796
And I have been dealing with a lot. And she said, look at what you've overcome, Takiyah. That's a lot.
00:28:33.236 --> 00:28:39.816
And so I'm learning more and more to be proud of myself. I'm learning more and
00:28:39.816 --> 00:28:41.376
more to share more of myself.
00:28:41.656 --> 00:28:45.136
And it, like you said, it has not been easy.
00:28:45.356 --> 00:28:50.056
There are still days that I have to push through. Like I said, I'm human.
00:28:50.276 --> 00:28:56.996
I'm not superhuman, but my faith in God, I account it and attest it all to him.
00:28:57.756 --> 00:29:04.676
I wholeheartedly believe I would not and could not be here had it not for me
00:29:04.676 --> 00:29:08.996
having faith in God and allowing bowing and acknowledging his hand on my life
00:29:08.996 --> 00:29:16.396
and him allowing me to use the story of my journey to help other people, other listeners,
00:29:16.516 --> 00:29:21.636
other viewers, other people say, look, you can get up. Not only can you get up, take my hand.
00:29:21.756 --> 00:29:24.696
I'll help you and I'll walk through it with you. Hmm.
00:29:25.416 --> 00:29:32.356
Was there ever a time when you could say that your faith ever wavered?
00:29:33.736 --> 00:29:37.756
Yes i would be lying if i said.
00:29:39.716 --> 00:29:49.616
I would be lying if i said no now have i ever lost my have i ever stopped believing
00:29:49.616 --> 00:29:55.656
in god no i beyond a shadow of a doubt i have not that moment in that barn when
00:29:55.656 --> 00:29:56.876
my kids and i were homeless.
00:29:57.096 --> 00:30:02.276
I remember getting on my knees and crying. It was raining and the roof of the
00:30:02.276 --> 00:30:07.136
barn had deteriorated. And so it was raining and it was destroying and damaging
00:30:07.136 --> 00:30:09.776
the last little bit of clothes that I had managed to bring.
00:30:10.016 --> 00:30:13.276
And I got on my knees and I remember telling God.
00:30:14.482 --> 00:30:20.862
I trust you. I believe in you. It does not matter how it looks or how hard it will ever get.
00:30:21.002 --> 00:30:23.682
I will never stop believing in you.
00:30:24.062 --> 00:30:29.702
And I just have seen him move too much in my life to doubt him.
00:30:29.842 --> 00:30:36.062
But faith, yes, wavering. There were, like I said, times of asking him, well, why?
00:30:36.242 --> 00:30:39.082
Or even and telling him, I don't want to do this anymore.
00:30:39.502 --> 00:30:45.762
You know, just being real with him.
00:30:45.802 --> 00:30:49.862
But see, that's the relationship I've cultivated with God.
00:30:50.022 --> 00:30:52.722
I treat him just like a friend, a father.
00:30:52.902 --> 00:30:58.042
He's all of those things. And so I can come to him with my truth because he knows.
00:30:58.442 --> 00:31:04.802
And I remember I went almost a year, one year, where I didn't not pray,
00:31:04.962 --> 00:31:08.202
but internalizing I was angry with God.
00:31:08.502 --> 00:31:12.002
And I just was different in my walk and my relationship.
00:31:12.302 --> 00:31:17.302
And I remember a whole year later, folding clothes, and I remember hearing the
00:31:17.302 --> 00:31:19.782
voice of God just say, why don't you just say it?
00:31:20.182 --> 00:31:23.082
And I remember I screamed, I'm so angry with you.
00:31:23.462 --> 00:31:26.722
And it's like he knew it. He was just waiting for me to be like,
00:31:26.922 --> 00:31:29.182
why don't you just put it out there? I know you're mad at me.
00:31:29.482 --> 00:31:31.862
I can handle it. Let's talk about it.
00:31:32.482 --> 00:31:37.122
So now I let him know I'm angry. I don't like this.
00:31:37.302 --> 00:31:42.802
I'm not going to do this today, you know, but he's so loving and so gentle and
00:31:42.802 --> 00:31:45.402
so kind and so merciful and so patient.
00:31:45.862 --> 00:31:49.902
And he still has a plan. And it's just like Jonah, when he was in the belly
00:31:49.902 --> 00:31:52.142
of the whale, Jonah didn't want to go do something.
00:31:52.322 --> 00:31:55.522
He went through it for a little bit and then he He pouted and he finally was
00:31:55.522 --> 00:31:56.762
like, all right, God, what are we doing?
00:31:57.042 --> 00:32:03.082
You know, so that's, that's, I do, I do waver at times, but my firm footing
00:32:03.082 --> 00:32:06.522
is I love him and I know that he loves me.
00:32:06.962 --> 00:32:11.662
Yeah. I love it. You know, what I love about the way you explain that is you
00:32:11.662 --> 00:32:17.022
explain it exactly how I do is it's a relationship and it's just like every
00:32:17.022 --> 00:32:19.882
relationship where there's times when we get upset,
00:32:20.102 --> 00:32:23.642
we get angry, but we still love each other. You know what I mean?
00:32:24.522 --> 00:32:27.642
Yeah, absolutely. Still love each other. And that's it.
00:32:27.802 --> 00:32:33.882
And like I said, God, He showed me, He showed me His love in all of those situations I was going through.
00:32:34.042 --> 00:32:38.902
Even when I didn't love myself, when I hated who I had become or didn't understand
00:32:38.902 --> 00:32:41.822
and like it, God's love was just always there.
00:32:42.022 --> 00:32:44.402
And He, you know, how do we experience God's love?
00:32:44.602 --> 00:32:49.282
He can send it through other people. He can send it through our reading the Bible.
00:32:49.282 --> 00:32:53.222
He can sit it when we're sitting alone in those deep, dark places and we're
00:32:53.222 --> 00:32:56.642
hurting and we can just cry out and we may not be able to see him,
00:32:56.682 --> 00:33:00.082
feel him, touch him, hear him, but he's with us.
00:33:00.202 --> 00:33:02.782
If we have the opportunity to open our eyes.
00:33:03.688 --> 00:33:09.288
Then he's still got a plan for us. And that's his love. Amen to that. Oh my goodness.
00:33:10.388 --> 00:33:18.008
You're two kids. It's now been many, many years since you guys ran out of that home.
00:33:18.688 --> 00:33:23.148
Talk to me about your kids today. I just, you know, talking about your kids
00:33:23.148 --> 00:33:29.288
and being a mother all this time, would just love to kind of hear a little bit more about that.
00:33:29.848 --> 00:33:35.128
Yeah, yeah, that's a good question. So, again, there now my son is he'll be
00:33:35.128 --> 00:33:37.568
21 in like a couple of weeks,
00:33:37.808 --> 00:33:48.428
which I'm still grappling to figure out because, again, I'm only 25 and my daughter is 26.
00:33:48.728 --> 00:33:54.508
And I will say, you know, this process, this journey has not been easy for them
00:33:54.508 --> 00:33:56.928
either. They are off the top. They are amazing.
00:33:57.288 --> 00:34:02.928
They are brilliant. One of the things that I spoke over them all these years
00:34:02.928 --> 00:34:07.168
through their childhood and even now, I would tell them, I would say,
00:34:07.268 --> 00:34:10.188
God, give them wisdom beyond their years.
00:34:10.428 --> 00:34:13.988
And Kevin, let me tell you, sometimes they're so smart. I just want to tell
00:34:13.988 --> 00:34:16.348
them, just, you know, can you just go sit down? Stop talking.
00:34:18.388 --> 00:34:23.088
I'm the mom. OK. No showing me up.
00:34:24.628 --> 00:34:30.128
But they are. I, I, I've seen that manifest that God has really graced them
00:34:30.128 --> 00:34:31.968
with wisdom for their age.
00:34:32.108 --> 00:34:36.148
I mean, when they were young, my daughter, you know, I can remember her as young
00:34:36.148 --> 00:34:40.908
as 10, 11, 12, and she would come to me and she would give me these conversations
00:34:40.908 --> 00:34:42.768
and these talks and this motivation.
00:34:43.288 --> 00:34:46.588
She's in med school now. Her dream is to be a trauma surgeon.
00:34:46.968 --> 00:34:49.968
And so she took a little bit of break.
00:34:50.048 --> 00:34:55.648
She graduated high school and she took a little bit of a break because while I came from trauma.
00:34:56.028 --> 00:35:01.808
And while I did all that I knew to do in the moments that I had to do it,
00:35:01.848 --> 00:35:07.648
my trauma still affected my kids because of my struggles and my not understanding.
00:35:07.988 --> 00:35:13.128
And so my daughter is in the space that her and my son are six years apart.
00:35:13.328 --> 00:35:17.148
So she had six years of mom, where I call it my.
00:35:18.470 --> 00:35:24.250
Unknowing of unhealed trauma and things like that. And so she had six years of that.
00:35:24.410 --> 00:35:31.210
And then my son came along and he had mom who found Christ, who had a diagnosis,
00:35:31.510 --> 00:35:33.750
who was learning to deal with that.
00:35:33.850 --> 00:35:37.970
And so the dynamic is very different between my children, my two children,
00:35:38.050 --> 00:35:41.650
and we are all on a healing journey. We really are.
00:35:42.130 --> 00:35:45.030
There's times, there's seasons where we
00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:48.210
are absolutely close and then there's seasons where we have
00:35:48.210 --> 00:35:51.090
a little bit of distance because we're each working on
00:35:51.090 --> 00:35:56.590
our healing journey and they have just overcome so much and I'm extremely proud
00:35:56.590 --> 00:36:02.130
of them and I just like any parent I want and wish the best for both of them
00:36:02.130 --> 00:36:08.650
yeah absolutely did you ever get involved in another relationship after that
00:36:08.650 --> 00:36:10.070
one that you just spoke about earlier?
00:36:10.410 --> 00:36:14.550
Oh my gosh. Yes, I did.
00:36:14.810 --> 00:36:18.710
I actually, Kevin, I actually got married and it wasn't right away.
00:36:19.170 --> 00:36:22.410
Um, it was probably my goodness.
00:36:22.490 --> 00:36:28.830
So that was about 2017 and I got married in 2020, January, 2021.
00:36:29.290 --> 00:36:34.550
So that was a long time. And I got into a relationship with someone that,
00:36:34.550 --> 00:36:39.690
you know, I first marriage, I waited, prayed, asked God, is this the person?
00:36:40.250 --> 00:36:44.910
And I actually was so nervous when I got a yes from God, because in dating,
00:36:44.970 --> 00:36:48.530
I normally was used to hearing God go, nope, no, not the one.
00:36:48.950 --> 00:36:53.490
And so when I got a yes, I, it shook everything in me, because I was like,
00:36:53.530 --> 00:36:56.970
oh my gosh, this is the person that God wants me to spend my life with.
00:36:57.150 --> 00:37:04.130
Like, wow, we dated, we went through all the motions, we did counseling, and we married.
00:37:04.904 --> 00:37:11.284
And two months into the marriage, the bottom fell out and there was infidelity
00:37:11.284 --> 00:37:14.304
and there was cheating and there was lying on his part.
00:37:14.424 --> 00:37:19.984
And I just could not understand, God, what happened here?
00:37:20.864 --> 00:37:29.824
And that was a journey that I am still healing from because we ended up separating. rating.
00:37:29.924 --> 00:37:33.604
And then I divorced and I actually had to file a restraining order,
00:37:33.704 --> 00:37:36.784
order of protection because he started stalking me.
00:37:37.084 --> 00:37:42.804
And that is something that added more stress and trauma to my life.
00:37:42.884 --> 00:37:47.284
And that is something that I'm healing from now.
00:37:47.384 --> 00:37:51.644
And it's actually, here's how God works because it's like, well,
00:37:51.764 --> 00:37:56.344
wait, Takiyah, I thought you prayed and sought God. God, I remember asking God
00:37:56.344 --> 00:37:57.644
the same thing. Did I miss you?
00:37:57.804 --> 00:38:01.584
I must not have heard you right. I must, did I just want this so badly?
00:38:02.124 --> 00:38:07.244
I remember God settling me and telling me, Takiyah, it takes two people to do the right thing.
00:38:07.944 --> 00:38:12.304
So it was never God's intention to put me through something that would hurt me.
00:38:12.424 --> 00:38:18.284
It was his intention for this man that I married to come alongside me and have a better life in Christ.
00:38:18.464 --> 00:38:24.424
But he refused to do the things that needed to be done. And so I'm still healing through that.
00:38:25.264 --> 00:38:28.184
But I look at it now.
00:38:28.404 --> 00:38:33.544
And I go, had I not gone through those things, I would not be sitting here on
00:38:33.544 --> 00:38:36.144
your podcast today talking about all of this stuff.
00:38:36.824 --> 00:38:42.104
Because I actually in the midst of all of that last year had a nervous breakdown. down.
00:38:42.584 --> 00:38:47.404
And in the midst of that, in that moment, it was when I was holding my cell phone later that day.
00:38:47.484 --> 00:38:51.924
And I just was kind of frustrated and going, I'm just swiping all these pictures
00:38:51.924 --> 00:38:53.824
of me smiling. Oh, she's traveling.
00:38:53.924 --> 00:38:58.984
She's smiling and she's living here and she's smiling. And I remember saying, I'm always smiling.
00:38:59.484 --> 00:39:02.644
If people really only knew the truth behind this smile.
00:39:03.124 --> 00:39:07.464
And in that instant, I heard God say, so tell them. And what evolved from that
00:39:07.464 --> 00:39:13.544
was the launch of a podcast. and I'm here sharing my story and talking and testifying
00:39:13.544 --> 00:39:16.884
and just being authentic and vulnerable and real.
00:39:17.044 --> 00:39:23.364
And I cannot tell you how much it's given me my power back and my voice and
00:39:23.364 --> 00:39:28.964
has propelled me even deeper and further into doing God's work and the tremendous
00:39:28.964 --> 00:39:33.864
amount of support and love that has come in and the lives that I hear being
00:39:33.864 --> 00:39:36.364
changed and breaking free because I'm sharing my voice.
00:39:37.904 --> 00:39:43.044
So very powerful. I'm going to make a really weird comparison.
00:39:43.624 --> 00:39:48.604
So you got to bear with me. But this is what, as you're talking,
00:39:48.804 --> 00:39:55.544
all I can think about, so living here in Florida, we always have afternoon thunderstorms in the summertime.
00:39:56.595 --> 00:40:01.295
And the thunderstorms will come through and there's days when they are fierce.
00:40:01.415 --> 00:40:05.735
The thunder rattles the windows, the lightning striking all over.
00:40:06.335 --> 00:40:08.535
You can say it can be pretty fierce and scary.
00:40:09.355 --> 00:40:14.995
But when the storm passes, if you go outside and you look at the yard,
00:40:15.275 --> 00:40:18.055
the grass is greener than it was before.
00:40:20.035 --> 00:40:26.495
That that grass the world it grew on the other side of that traumatic event
00:40:26.495 --> 00:40:33.075
and i can't help but but look at you and think of the same thing,
00:40:34.255 --> 00:40:39.235
that's so beautifully put that's that is so eloquent that's like that's what
00:40:39.235 --> 00:40:48.635
we call what is it um jesus talked in parables that was a parable like I will never forget that.
00:40:48.755 --> 00:40:52.115
I love it. Thank you so much for that. That really is.
00:40:52.315 --> 00:40:56.175
And there's a scripture that talks about how God will give us beauty for ashes,
00:40:56.415 --> 00:41:00.815
you know, and it just makes me think of that. But that's so beautifully put, Kevin. Thank you.
00:41:00.935 --> 00:41:05.075
Oh, of course. Of course. Well, I have one last question for you.
00:41:05.095 --> 00:41:10.875
But before I get to that question, will you please share with us where somebody
00:41:10.875 --> 00:41:16.215
can get Get plugged into your world to find your books, to listen to the podcast,
00:41:16.335 --> 00:41:20.695
to get all into your realm. Where can we send them?
00:41:21.335 --> 00:41:23.455
Yes, they want to get all up in my business.
00:41:24.475 --> 00:41:31.475
You can find me, the Inspirational Beauty Boss. I have made it so simple for you guys.
00:41:31.895 --> 00:41:37.035
It's every hashtag, social media, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, website. site.
00:41:37.115 --> 00:41:42.795
You just simply put in your smile is your weapon and you will find me.
00:41:43.275 --> 00:41:49.335
Because I had a lady just last year, complete stranger, come up to me and I
00:41:49.335 --> 00:41:51.255
was having a rough day and she didn't know this.
00:41:51.295 --> 00:41:54.975
And she walked up to me and she hugged me and embraced me. And she said, you are beautiful.
00:41:55.335 --> 00:41:58.595
You never stop smiling. Your smile is your weapon.
00:41:58.955 --> 00:42:02.695
And that stuck with me. And so that is how you can You can find my books,
00:42:02.855 --> 00:42:08.015
my website, my speaking, my podcast is streaming on all platforms behind this
00:42:08.015 --> 00:42:08.915
smile with Tequila Sean.
00:42:09.435 --> 00:42:12.855
And you just plug in your smile as your weapon and you'll find your girl.
00:42:13.439 --> 00:42:16.399
Amazing. I love that so very much.
00:42:16.839 --> 00:42:24.179
My last question for you is for the person listening today, and maybe they're
00:42:24.179 --> 00:42:25.739
a couple of steps behind you.
00:42:25.999 --> 00:42:28.079
They're in that thunderstorm.
00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:35.379
They're in the thick of it all. What would you say to that person to give them
00:42:35.379 --> 00:42:39.359
the encouragement to get to where you are in life?
00:42:39.359 --> 00:42:44.939
So what immediately comes to mind is actually the title of a podcast episode I just did recently.
00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:50.499
It says, you got to go through it to get to it. Okay. And let me explain that.
00:42:51.239 --> 00:42:54.559
A lot of times we're dealing with things and say, oh, well, I'm going through
00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:57.619
this or I'm going through that or this is going on.
00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:01.699
I'm going through it. when you visualize going through something,
00:43:01.799 --> 00:43:02.879
I want you to see a tunnel.
00:43:03.459 --> 00:43:06.839
You're going through that tunnel. There's an entrance. And when you get into
00:43:06.839 --> 00:43:10.579
that tunnel, you know, it may be dark or you're just driving, driving, driving.
00:43:11.099 --> 00:43:14.159
In order to get to the other side of that tunnel and see the light again,
00:43:14.379 --> 00:43:16.879
you got to keep going to come out on the other side.
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:21.359
So you can't stop is what I'm saying. You have to keep going.
00:43:21.699 --> 00:43:27.779
You have to not give up. And sometimes in that tunnel, it can be very dark.
00:43:27.779 --> 00:43:32.399
We can find ourselves in a dark place. We're alone. We're sad. We're depressed.
00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:37.279
We feel like nobody's there with us. And you may sit down and just you want
00:43:37.279 --> 00:43:39.039
to curl up in a ball in a fetal position.
00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:41.879
You just want to rest. You just want to stop. You're like, my goodness,
00:43:41.979 --> 00:43:45.899
how long is this tunnel? How long do I have to keep going through?
00:43:46.299 --> 00:43:48.099
You have to get up.
00:43:48.620 --> 00:43:54.260
And you have to keep going because in order to get to the other side of something,
00:43:54.540 --> 00:43:56.680
you have to go through it. Okay.
00:43:56.780 --> 00:44:02.860
So if you're going through, just remember, you'll come out on the other side. Eventually keep going.
00:44:03.060 --> 00:44:05.380
That is absolutely beautiful.
00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:12.360
Thank you so much for sharing such wisdom, for sharing your story.
00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:19.620
Story, inspirational, but even more so empowering is what I take from our entire
00:44:19.620 --> 00:44:24.100
conversation today is just pure empowerment.
00:44:24.380 --> 00:44:30.720
And I just want to thank you in the most heartfelt way for being here and for
00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:33.220
sharing all of that goodness with me and my listener.
00:44:33.600 --> 00:44:38.000
Thank you so much. It has been an absolute honor just to be here.
00:44:38.220 --> 00:44:42.940
And I love your questions, the prompts, so engaging and so thought provoking
00:44:42.940 --> 00:44:47.260
and just very touching to me as well. So thank you, Kevin, for everything you are doing.
00:44:47.500 --> 00:44:50.300
Oh, well, thank you so much. That means the world.
00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:56.720
And for you listening today, as always, I hope that this podcast can mean more
00:44:56.720 --> 00:44:58.420
to you than just something entertaining.
00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:03.860
So I hope that something said today can be an impact on your life.
00:45:04.120 --> 00:45:09.820
And remember, if there's somebody in your world who you think to yourself, wow, you you know what?
00:45:10.080 --> 00:45:14.820
They could really benefit from hearing this. Well, go ahead and share it with them.
00:45:15.380 --> 00:45:17.920
That's what we want to do. That's how we spread the message.
00:45:18.380 --> 00:45:20.480
That's how we make an impact in the world.
00:45:20.900 --> 00:45:24.980
So with that, I'm Kevin Lowe. This is Grit, Grace, and Inspiration.
00:45:25.260 --> 00:45:26.880
Get out there and enjoy the day.
00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:45.762