Love notes from Rhonda.

I love you.

Allow that to wash over you.

Allow my voice to be the substitute for the fill in for all the times that you didn't hear it.

So imagine me as the person you wish you heard it from.

Whether that was your mother, your caretaker, your grandmother, an ex, an ex friend, a secret crush.

I love you.

I love you.

I'm so sorry that I wasn't good at telling you.

I'm so sorry that I was so filled with fear and shame and victimization that I could not reach into my heart and share it with you.

I am so sorry.

I love you.

I lived in so much fear, I couldn't see it myself.

And I'm sorry that I blamed you, hurt you, betrayed you, abandoned you.

I am so sorry.

I love you.

Do not take my lack of ability to express my love and make it about you, because it's not about you.

You have always been lovable and you have always been loved.

It was just too scary for me to tell you, scary for me to feel it.

I felt too much responsibility, too much guilt, too much shame.

I wasn't good enough, perfect enough.

I wasn't enough.

So I had to make you not enough.

Just like me.

I love you.

I am so sorry that I couldn't tell you before.

Please forgive me.

Forgive me and my smallness.

Forgive me and my weakness.

Forgive me for not being able to move beyond my fear.

Forgive me for my anger and my righteousness.

Forgive me for my lack of open heartedness.

Forgive me for my closed mind.

Forgive me.

Forgive me for my betrayal and abandonment and abuse.

Forgive me.

You and I do not have to have anything further than this moment.

I just wanted you to hear the truth.

Because now I'm finally willing to say it.

And I mean it.

I love you.

Please forgive me.

Thank you for listening to me.

I'm deeply grateful and deeply honored that you were in my life.

Thank you for the honor.

I love you.

Until next time.

Accept the love.

Open your heart to forgive and let it go.

And no, you do not have to have lunch.

And no, you do not have to call.

And no, you do not have to write.

And no, you do not have to have anything to do with the person that I stood in for just now.

But you, my friend, you can set yourself free.

Until next time.

Be fearless.

I love you.