Welcome to the Construction Disruption Podcast, where we

uncover the future of design, building, and remodeling.

Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for this opportunity to

come to the listeners and, and share, uh, what, what God is doing in my life.

And, um, thank you for Todd and for Ryan and for this opportunity

to, to get that, this message out.

Uh, we love you.

Thank you for Jesus.

Thank you.

Without him, um, we have, we have no hope.

And, uh, I'm just praying that, uh, you would speak through me and

speak through these guys and I'm, I'm grateful for the opportunity.

Lord be here with us in Jesus name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Thank

you, Kevin.

So, I'm Todd Miller, Visay Industries, manufacturer

of specialty metal roofing and other building materials.

And today, my co host here on Construction Disruption is Ryan Bell.

How are you doing, Ryan?

Hey, Todd, I'm doing great.

How are you?

I'm doing well also.

So we're recording this episode, uh, I guess just about

a week, uh, before Easter.

It'll probably air a few weeks after Easter, but, uh, heard an

interesting story the other day.

Um, so, uh, we all know from the Easter story about how Joseph of Amarathea, uh,

gave his tomb up for Jesus to be laid to rest in after, uh, the crucifixion.

Well, um, so, folks asked him, uh, I guess in particular Pontius Pilate asked

him during that time, they said, Why are you giving up your tomb for this?

You've, you've paid for this.

It was to be a family tomb.

Why would you give that, give that up for, uh, for this man, Jesus.

And, uh, Joseph, Joseph of Marathia said, Oh, it's okay, Pontius.

It's only for the weekend.

Okay.

Let's get going.

Okay.

So, um, that's had me laughing all day.

I had to get it out.

Okay.

So thank you again, listeners for tuning into Construction Disruption.

Once again, in this wonderful episode here in season two, uh, we will be doing

our challenge words, where each one of us, uh, on the show has been given a word

that we are challenged to work into the conversation as seamlessly as possible.

And, uh, so you, the listener can be listening to see if you hear,

uh, us say our challenge word.

And at the end of the show, uh, we will reveal our success or lack

thereof on using our challenge words.

So let's get the ball rolling.

So every once in a while here on Construction Disruption, we sort of step

outside of the construction industry.

To delve into interesting stories and really real life stuff that we hope will

be of interest and value to our listeners.

We're doing that this episode while our spotlighted guest today does

actually have some construction industry experience in his past.

We're really not here to discuss that at all.

Instead, we're going to dive into his personal, um, even his very

painful story and talk about how he's found a new start in life.

Our guest today is Kevin Krasinski from Toronto, Ontario.

Um, Kevin, interestingly, is author of a new book titled, I was blinded.

I was blinded.

Um, just as a teaser, uh, you can, uh, order the book and

you can also learn more at www.

iwasblinded.

com or you can email Kevin at iwasblindedbookatgmail.

com and, uh, we will have those in the show notes as well.

Um, but, uh, just want to get those plugs in there and we'll share them again later.

But.

Kevin, welcome to Construction Disruption.

Uh, it's a pleasure to have you with us here today, and I really

admire you for being willing to share a very personal story.

It's a pleasure to be here, and uh,

thank you Ryan, thank you Todd.

Um, it's a, it's a great opportunity, and I'm, I'm excited.

Well, before we, uh, totally spill the beans and, and talk

about the impact that a particular type of addiction had on your life,

um, I'd like to go back a little bit.

Can you share with us a little bit about, um, your growing up years and, uh, what

brought you up to the point of where your life was really spiraling out of control?

Um, so just so I can go ahead and share, I'll spill the bean.

The, the addiction you have dealt with is gambling.

Um, tell us, you know, how, how life started for you.

Well, I was born at a very early age and

as time went on, I grew older.

No, I won't start with jokes.

That's right.

I, um, I'm a prairie boy.

I was born in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, um, in Canada, in, in the.

I guess the Midwest, and, um, my, my father, uh, 31

years, he worked for CP rail.

Um, he was, uh, a lifelong railroader that, um, he was a chief, uh, he, his

last position was chief engineer for the East, but he, um, he's a civil engineer

by schooling and my mom was a homemaker.

And so, uh, myself and, uh, my brother and sister.

And mom and dad, we moved to various places, uh, in my upbringing and I'm

starting, I'm starting to think now that that had an impact on me with my behavior,

because I never really thought about it before, but I was in 8 different schools,

uh, from kindergarten to grade 12.

Wow.

So.

And, uh, we, Saskatoon, then we went over to Brandon near Winnipeg,

Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary.

And, um, so a lot of, a lot of promotions for dad, but a lot of, you know,

usually in a year and a half to two years and we would, we would move on.

So as far as building friendships, I, I would build friends, and

then I'd have to say goodbye.

Um, so, it wasn't, um, it wasn't easy, but I, I just, I learned to live with it.

It was part of, uh, we finally moved to Mississauga, which is just, uh,

west end of Toronto in, uh, 1981.

And my folks were there until, um, 2016.

Now they're out in Calgary again.

But my upbringing was good.

I grew up in a Christian home.

Mom and dad, you know, right from, from an early age, I gave my life to Jesus.

At age five with my mom, she led me to the Lord.

Um, you know, I'm, I'm five years old, so I mean, there's not much really in

terms of my mindset of, of what God is and who Jesus was and, and, uh, and

then, um, you know, I got into high school, had really non eventful years

in high school, and then when, when I entered the university of Toronto in

1987, And, uh, that's about the time.

I think I placed my first bet, uh, in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, actually, at

the end of my, I went to Briarcrest Bible College in Carromport, and, uh,

at the end of my, uh, second year.

I went to the Moose Jaw Mall, and I played a lotto ticket for lotto 649 in Canada.

And, um, and I think that was my first bet.

I, uh, my earliest remember, uh, memory of a bet.

And then, um, but it was 87 when I got to Toronto and I, I entered university for my

first year that I kind of spread my wings.

And then for the next 33 years, I just lived for myself.

And, um, Lots of stuff happened.

Very interesting story.

Well, so, you know, as you, you know, you say, you know, you place that

that first bet on the lottery lottery.

Um, how long had you kind of started down that path before it started to

kind of nag at you that, you know, maybe this was something you couldn't

control was did, you know, immediately and just Keep going forward or

no, I, I didn't know immediately, but, but I mean,

the, the bet at the, the, the lottery kiosk in, in 86, um, was.

That really wasn't the start of my gambling.

I, I met a guy, I met a guy, uh, I worked, uh, my very first job, full time job

was working the front desk of a hotel in Mississauga, uh, the Novotel brand.

And, um, and we, it was a brand new hotel we had just opened.

And so I was the first desk crew on there and I would just check

people in, check people out.

That was my job.

Worked there about a year and a half.

And there was a guy that, that headed up my security department

there, or our security department.

Uh, his name was Kevin as well.

And he, um, He came, he kept coming to work with this big binder.

And I said to him one day, I said, what, what is in that binder?

He had it with him everywhere.

Like almost like a Bible, but it wasn't a Bible.

And, um, so he, he showed me that it was his handicapping,

um, sheets from the racetrack.

And so we have, um, an international racetrack in Toronto called Woodbine.

And it's been around for a long time.

The Breeders Cup has been there and, and, uh, they've had some significant

Queen's plate, some significant races.

And, uh, so he said, he kind of showed me this book and I, I, I thought to

myself, it's kind of interesting, you know, I, you, you're betting

on, on, on past races of horses.

I mean, anything can happen, but, um, so I said, can I come with you?

And he said, well, I'm going on Saturday and I went with him and I made 40.

And it was easy money.

I was 21 years old and I thought, well, if I could go there, you know, say

after work or before work or whatever, depending on my shift and I could make.

You know, 40, 50, 60 a day.

It's a nice little supplemental income, but as we all know, it

doesn't happen every day like that.

And I mean, it's laughable now that 40 was what set me off, but I truly believe that

that first day I was hooked, um, it gave me some sort of pleasure or rush and as

we get into kind of the, the science of gambling and dopamine and the brain and

how it's affected, um, it makes sense.

I found something that I loved.

And and I loved it right away.

And so when it started becoming a problem was when, um, in 1991, I

declared bankruptcy and that was after repeated, repeated losses.

I had good credit.

Until about 1990, I had, I had probably every card that was available to

me, you know, with American Express.

I think I had 4 different cards.

I had all these things and I would fly to Las Vegas because we

didn't have a casino in Ontario.

We had, um, the racetrack, which was my 1st exposure.

But I wanted faster action.

So I went to Las Vegas and I and as soon as I got there, it was my playground.

Um, so I, I, I would, I got, I became a member of this last minute club

and you could the night before you could, um, book your flight and for

cheap, you know, 399, 349 for 4 days.

And that included hotel and, and, uh, your flight from Toronto, Las Vegas.

So.

I did it and I did it many times and I would go there and I'd get, you know,

you know, they, they'd really give it to me and then, and then I'd come home

and, uh, and, and I, I would start again, you know, so, um, but 1991, my

debts, I had good credit, but my debts kept mounting, mounting, mounting.

And we got to a point where I, um, I got, um, into a lot of financial trouble.

And so I had to declare bankruptcy in 91.

That was the first time that I, that I had a problem, that

I knew I had a serious problem.

You would have been what, about 25 at that time, I guess?

I was born in 66.

So I was, uh, I was.

23 going on 24, 24, 25.

Yeah.

Okay.

Pretty young.

So, yeah, I, I kind of, well, tell us a little bit about,

you kind of touched on it.

Tell us a little bit about the science of gambling addiction and, you know,

that dopamine hit and everything.

I'm just kind of curious.

I've done a lot of homework, uh, obviously in, in, in, in the

last, last few years, but even when I was going through what I was going through.

So what happens is gambling actually is as, as addictive.

It's one, it's, it's in terms of, uh, mental illness.

And in terms of suicide rate, I think gambling is, is, is right at the top.

I think it's, it's more so than drugs and alcohol, um, what gambling does.

And it, and it did it for me.

It's, it was like cocaine.

It was like, um, An absolute blast.

Like I've never done cocaine.

Um, but from, from what I've heard, um, it, it hits your, it

hits your brain and then you're, you're always going after that high

again,

the frontal part of the, the, the, the brain

is the pleasure, pleasure center, pleasure, um, area and dopamine.

Um, it's created in the body when you are pleasured in that area.

So every time, and then it got to the point, so I, I, I gambled on everything.

I mean, I, one time I was even gambling on the internet.

I couldn't watch the race, but it was in Australia.

And all I was doing was refreshing my browser to see if I won or not.

I mean that you're at a very sick point when you're doing that.

And I'm spending real money.

Um, but I am, uh, I'm, I'm, you know, I can't even, even watch the races,

so, um, but what I just had to gamble, like, it, it, the feeling that I got,

so I realized it's not about the money.

It's not about, you know, some people think I, I heard lots of time growing up.

Um, you know, it, it's greed, it's, you know, you wanna, you wanna get

the big score and stuff like that.

I actually just wanted longevity in, in terms of my gambling, in

terms of my plane, because I mean, if I could stay there all day.

It was pleasurable for me.

If I, you know, um, lost my shirt in the first hour, then I had a miserable day.

So then, but of course, tomorrow is always a new day.

So I'd figure out how to, how to get back there tomorrow.

But what, what it does is it just with the slot machines, slot

machines were never my thing.

I didn't like the three real slots.

Um, but now they're multi level games where you can have.

Up to, I think, a thousand and twenty eight combinations with, with, with multi,

multi reels and multi levels and all that.

So every time I hit that button, because they're, they're no longer the, the

one armed bandits, every time you hit the button, it would give me that.

That, that dopamine effect, the anticipation of, of a progressive

or the anticipation of the next bet would be my high.

And I would do that over and over and over like a, like a monkey, you know,

just, just over and over and over.

And, um, and I trained myself that way just from repeated.

Going to the casinos and and doing damage.

Wow.

I'm curious.

What did that look like as far as family and friends during these real dark times?

I mean, did did they stick by?

Did they know what was going on?

Or did some folks say, Hey, you change or I I can't continue to hang with you.

And, and let me, let me ask another question, Kevin.

What do you wish they would have done?

I, I did my gambling in secret.

Okay.

I never took, I never took friends with me to go do it.

It wasn't a social event.

Although, although the casinos were packed with people.

Mm hmm.

And Vegas was packed with people.

And I met people and I talked, I spoke with people.

Um, it was, it was a very alone event all the time.

I know now that it was my insecurity and the way that the casinos and the

VIP hosts, and I mean, I got to a level where, where everything was free.

So.

Um, and that was in, in 2018 was my, was my peak year in terms of gambling,

um, losses and also some wins.

Um, and it, it got so out of control that I consider them to be predators, to

be quite honest, to, to prey on people who are, who are like me, who without

Jesus can't stop, I couldn't stop.

So, uh, But getting back to your question in terms of like family and friends, my,

my parents, I lived at home into the 90s and then I left and then I came back and I

was kind of a, you know, constant drop in.

But, um, my parents knew it was starting to escalate around

1990 just before my bankruptcy.

They, uh, I came home from Vegas once with a lot of cash and I, and I was.

I showed them and I was very, you know, look what I did type thing.

And I remember my dad looking at me and just kind of a half smile, you know,

like he, he thought, oh, that's good, but we're not really happy for you.

Right.

So, um, so that, that was, I, I started seeing stuff like that.

I didn't really have friends drop off, although, uh, I, Like, not

while we were friends, but I have had friends that have completely, um,

we don't have any contact anymore.

Even I have 1 guy that was in my wedding party that we don't speak anymore.

Um, and that's, uh, that's primarily because of Jesus.

He's not interested in him, but, but he, um.

We, you know, 30 year friendship gone, you know, so, um, but in terms of, uh,

and how, and what I wish they would have done, it's hard because when you're,

when you're doing what you're doing and when I'm, when I'm gambling, um,

I don't really want any interference.

I wanted to continue my behavior and it was because I was like, you can

only be a slave to one thing you, you cannot, you cannot, um, I mean,

Jesus obviously has changed my life.

But you, in those days, in the nineties.

Uh, you're either focused on maybe career or school or, you know, a girlfriend

or, or whatever you, you're involved in.

Or, you're completely committed to gambling, in my case.

So, it was, it was total.

It was 100%.

I just, I, I did it, like, if I was to get a grade on my enthusiasm and my,

my willingness to, to do a behavior, I would get an A plus in gambling.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Not what you want an A plus in, but I hear you.

No, no.

And, you know, people, I mean, just to tag onto that, you know, people can go

and they, you know, they get some people win large amounts and then they leave and

they never come back, you know, and they don't have, they don't have what I had.

And, and, you know, you, you spoke earlier.

I want to say one thing.

You spoke earlier about addictions.

Um, I, I try not to use that word.

And I'll tell you why, because we, and it's nothing against

what you said or anything.

It's, it's what the world describes as an addiction.

Um, it gives it power.

And, and I'll tell you, um, I've gone to a lot of 12 step means.

I've probably gone to a thousand of them, uh, over the course of my, my,

um, my gambling and then, and then in the last five years, I've been, I've

been, uh, absent, but, um, addiction to me, when you give it, give it power.

It, it's, it, it becomes like, I've heard people say that it's a disease.

I can't do anything about it.

So, so I just have to basically find some help.

That's going to manage my gambling.

Like, like, um, in Toronto, they have a big center.

I won't name it, but it's a big center for addiction control

downtown in Toronto, and they don't, they don't teach you abstinence.

They teach you, um, Maybe removing the problem part of the gambling, but you

can still do other things, you know, like if my thing is slots or my thing is

the racetrack, you know, bingo is fine.

Playing lottery is fine.

Um, you know, whatever, whatever it is, you can do those other things, but, but

you just can't do slot machines, you know?

So to me, that's, to me, it has to be total abstinence.

And, and I, um, I don't like calling it a disease because I, I, we do have a choice.

There is a choice.

The choice was for me, and I'll get into my redemption story later, but

my choice for me was when, when Jesus changed my heart, and then I chose him.

So my posture changed.

So instead of being a slave to gambling, I'm not a slave to Jesus.

I'm, I'm coming freely, but He is my focus.

Very good.

Well, I, I mean, I know that you had some awfully dark times in the midst of that,

including doing some time in prison.

Um, anything out of all that you'd like to share with us?

Well, the first thing I'll say is prison is horrible.

Um, every single day is, is terrifying and horrible.

I've been in a few jails, um, small sentences, you know, like I, in my book,

I talk about, you know, I, I kited checks, you know, I, I, I needed money to gamble

with, I, I don't want to give, give all the secrets of the book, but I, um, I

did a lot of little things that I got in trouble for and once, my very first time

that I was ever arrested was in Las Vegas.

I, um, I had a little bit too much to drink and, and I, and I, I tried to get

some money out of one of the kiosks.

Um, and of course there's 50, 000 cameras in the Mirage hotel and they were

watching every move that I was making.

And I thought I was so clever because I had had a whole pitcher

of Long Island iced tea to myself.

And I was just going from stool to stool, watching these little kiosks.

And, uh, and then I got really brave with my alcohol.

And I just thought, I'm just going to try and open one.

What I didn't know is that they, um, they left it open.

And they put some money in there that they had marked.

And, uh, within, uh, within three seconds of me lifting that, that, uh, that desk.

I had three armed guys on my arms that took me into the heart of

the, the casino, the garage and, um, and then the police came, um,

and that was my very first arrest.

That was in 1993.

I was, um, it was July.

So I, I would have been 25 going on 26.

or 26 going on 27.

Um, and so, uh, I mean, I was old enough to know better, but

I was, I was just so messed up.

And, and I remember, I remember after my arrest, you know,

they, so they, they lock you up.

And then the difference is that I'm, I'm a Canadian citizen.

So, so, and I'm on vacation and, and, uh, what they normally do

in the States is they allow you to bail yourself out with 10%.

My bail was set at 3, 000, but because I was from Canada, they needed the whole

amount, and they have bail bondsmen there that will help you, but they also have

what's called a nine day kick out rule.

And, um, so you will see a judge within nine days, if you don't see a

judge within nine days of your arrest, they will, um, they'll release you.

Um, so sometimes they don't have enough to charge you or whatever.

So they, they have, they have a bit of urgency to get a, to get the charges in.

And, um, so sure enough on day nine, They called my name and I went to

see in front of a judge and they were going to hold me over another

two weeks for a preliminary trial.

I had, I had been able to, I couldn't call my dad because, um, it was the pay

phones only, um, could accept collect calls to people in the United States.

So, and we didn't have cell phones back there.

And even now you can't do a collect call to a cell phone.

So, um, I was stuck.

So what I did is I, I wrote a note to the sergeant in the jail.

It was Clark County Detention Center that I was at, uh, right in Las Vegas.

And, um, I mean, they don't mess around.

That's, that's a big jail and they've had a lot of, a lot of stuff happened

in Vegas, but, um, they, I got a message back that the sergeant wanted to see

me three days after I was arrested.

And he said, if you want to call your dad, you can use my phone.

So I went into his office, he closed the door and I was able to call my dad.

Now they hadn't heard from me.

And so he said, what's going on?

And I lied to him.

I said that I was arrested and, um, I was innocent, you know, and nothing

I did and, you know, playing the part and, and not, not really being truthful.

And so.

Dad said, what's, what's the next steps?

And I said, well, they're going to, they're going to see me before nine days.

So why don't I just see if they see me tomorrow or the next day or whatever, if

not, I'll get, and so on the ninth day, then I, I called him when I got my, um,

the order from the, the judge that I'd have a preliminary trial in two weeks.

I said, I got to get out of here.

So I called dad and he, he wired some money to, uh, To the bail bondsman and

within an hour, I was out and, um, it was an expensive trip, um, because with,

with the fees and everything, and then the exchange rate and, uh, and then I

couldn't get a flight back for 3 days.

They had no more flights to Toronto.

Those were the days that didn't go every day.

So they were junkets.

Right?

So I couldn't get a flight for 3 more days.

So I thought, what am I going to do?

So I thought I might as well start gambling again.

And it started all up again.

So I never learned my lesson until.

Um, till 2020 was when my heart changed, but, uh, I had to anyways,

get into, I was talking about the jail.

So that was my first time I did a few weekends in Toronto.

Um, I'd spend a, you know, a night in the holding cells or whatever,

but I also did 30 days and 90 days at weekends, but in, um, 2002.

That's what I was saying.

One day is terrifying.

I was sentenced to, um, to 15 months, which was 457 days.

So that's, that's a pretty good stretch.

And I, uh, I remember feeling completely defeated.

Even that didn't, didn't stop me because I continued on my gambling until 18.

And, uh, And then, because of what happened in, in 17 and 18, 2017, 18,

um, I had, even though I'd stopped, my last bet was January 19th of 2019.

So, I'm over 5 years now, but, um, there were still consequences to my actions.

So, on December 3rd of 19, I was sentenced to 6 months in Ontario here, and I

had to, uh, of that, you do 2 3rds.

So, I had to do 4 months, and I went up to the Supermax in Penetanguishene.

Uh, which is north of Toronto and again, it was absolutely horrible

and it was also, um, 18 years later and I'm 53 years old at that time.

I'm 57 now, but I was 53 and 60 pounds heavier than I was in 2002

and it's tough enough to do jail.

But when you have those type of conditions.

Um, it's, it's, it's, it's horrible.

Wow.

Wow.

So.

Well, good news is there is a redemption story here that you've

already led to, and you talked about how, um, a significant part of your story is,

you know, developing that intimate life changing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Um.

Yeah.

Kind of curious, how did, was that the answer to being able to stop gambling?

Or, um, did you also find help you mentioned in some 12 step programs?

Um, tell us a little bit about what that redemption story looked like

for you.

It wasn't jail that stopped me.

Although I was, I was in my cell when, when, when the Holy

Spirit changed my heart, which is an amazing story in itself.

And I did go to residential, I went to residential treatment twice.

Um, it's, it's a 30 day program that they had abbreviated to 21 days.

Um, just for time restraints, I went once in 2006 and then I went again in 2013.

Um, and it's, uh, it, but it's a secular based, uh, recovery based on, based on the

science and the facts and, and abstinence.

And I mean, there were some helpful, helpful tips there.

Um, but it didn't ultimately stop me from gambling.

I, I left the second time and, uh, and I abstained for a little

bit, but within about five to six months, I was back at it again.

And, um, I needed a heart change.

That, that is, That is the only way, you know, even I'm involved in a group

called Overcomers Now, and we, we discuss, you know, our issues and we share with

others and, and I've shared that, um, the only way to be successful in any life

controlling behavior, that's what we call it, um, is, is to have a heart change.

There, there is no.

There's no other way.

And so my story is that, you know, even going to jail for 15 months in 2002,

that wasn't a deterrent and I still wanted to gamble and I still loved it.

And I still wanted to do it.

And then I had consequences, like I said, from 17 and 18, I turned myself

into Niagara police and, uh, and, and even actually I emailed her yesterday.

And I shared my book with her and, uh, she was really proud of me.

Wow.

So I bet.

Awesome.

But it's, it's, it's, um, well, what happened, what happened

with my, my change of heart was that.

Uh, in, in, um, in 2020, I, uh, I was released on April 2nd of 2020,

and it's right when COVID hit.

Sometimes you have a cellmate, sometimes you don't.

And of the 121 days that I did a Pen a Tang, that was my actual

time, I did, I was sentenced to 6 months, but I did 4 months.

Um, 86 of those days, I was alone.

In my cell, which is an absolute blessing because the range the range is basically

where all the guys hang out all day.

They lock you out into the range.

They close your door.

Like, you lock your door and you can't get back into your room until I call

it a room, but into your cell until, um, until they open it up at 6 about

10 after 6 at night after we eat.

And then it's locked down and we go in ourself.

So, um.

And then finally you have peace.

Like it's so noisy and the TV is loud and it's all day long.

Guys play cards.

And I mean, I sat on this concrete bench.

I called it the bus stop and it's in my book, but, but the bus never came.

That's the joke.

There's no bus, but I sat there for 1200 hours, 10 hours a day for 120 days.

And I sometimes would read sometimes would just, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, Because it's so scary in jail, you keep your back to the

wall because you want to see what's, what's in front of you, because then

you're not surprised by anything.

And I mean, I saw horrific stuff in jail.

I won't go into detail here, but I, I, um, I was witnessing, I was a

witness to many things that happened that, That are, are, are terrible

and, um, and that's Jail Life.

It's, you think, you know, uh, the Seinfeld show, uh, George Costanza

and, and, and he calls it Bizarre World where, where everything is,

when he changed course and he, and everything that he used to do, he didn't

do, but he did the exact opposite.

Everything turned out for him and it's a hilarious episode, but.

Jail is like that.

It's a bizarre world.

It is complete opposite where you have decency.

There's no decency where you have a respect.

There's no respect.

Um, it's, it's, uh, it's a completely opposite world and it's not like anything

you've known unless you've been to jail.

So, um, and I had prayed in my life, I would say in the last two

decades, 20 years that even though I was enjoying gambling, I saw

the consequences of my gambling.

And I had asked.

The Lord in my prayer time, which was not like my prayer time today,

but, um, I would ask him for total deliverance from my illness.

And I had heard that people had been miraculously, um, cured or saved or

delivered from alcoholism or drugs or sex or whatever, whatever their deal is.

But why, why wouldn't it, why can't it happen for me?

You know, and, and so I prayed on that and, and nothing ever changed.

But you know what I've realized now is that God wanted to see my heart

change and wanted to see a willingness to do what he wants me to do.

Um, And then he did exactly that.

So, um, sometime, I don't even know the exact day, because days

run into each other when you're inside, I call it, or in jail.

Um, but it was sometime in late February, early March.

And, uh, I'll try and say this without becoming emotional, but,

um, I sang audibly the song Holy Spirit, You Are Welcome Here.

And he, and I was alone in my cell, cell number 16, he changed my heart.

And do you know that I have not had one urge to gamble since that day.

And, and, and of course, you know, you get out of jail and you, you, um, you

know, you have things, housekeeping things you have, you have to clean

up your life, like total destruction.

Right.

I mean, we, we, we spoke last night on Overcomers about foundations.

And there's a couple of guys that are construction guys in our group, and they

were talking about, you know, making a foundation and, you know, once once

the corners and once if they're bad, the whole fund, the whole building

structure is going to be is going to fail.

And, uh, so how do you build.

A proper home that's going to last and basically that's a good metaphor for my

life is that God had to destroy the house that I had built and then he gave me his

foundation and now I'm building from that.

So probably, um, from, from, uh, 2020, when I was released until maybe

2022, I was kind of in cleanup mode.

You know, like, uh, Matt, I came home, my beautiful wife, Lisa.

She, she has supported me the entire time, but, um, we had, we had big bills.

We had lots of things.

I mean, she was alone.

I couldn't even call her from jail because we only have cell phones.

So I, I didn't have one call to her in four months.

Um, and, uh, and it was total separation and she came to visit me three times.

She would drive up to Penatang.

It would take her about three hours and it was during the

winter, there was two feet of snow.

And, uh, it was, it was a real effort for her to do that, but she has stuck with me.

Many women would have, would have bailed on me.

Um, and we've been married, this summer will be 14 years.

And, uh, and I, we got married in 2010.

So I met her on the internet.

I, um, we, we had a few messages and, uh, I met her, she's a school teacher and,

uh, I would have never met her otherwise.

I lived in Toronto.

She lived in, she grew up in the Niagara area and, uh, we met online and we

met at Starbucks and, um, the rest is history, but she's, she's stuck with me.

I'm sure she thought many times, you know, can I handle this?

You know, maybe I should.

should separate from him.

Maybe not divorce, but maybe separate, you know, until he gets his act together.

And, uh, uh, it's, she's been my always, and that's what I wrote in the book.

So, um, so that was my, my moment.

Uh, God completely changed my heart.

And, uh, in the last two years, now I'm getting involved.

And then with the book, October 23rd, I couldn't sleep and I'm lying in bed.

And I, I literally feel a shoulder tap and, and I heard the voice start writing.

Wow.

And in 12 days, I wrote a cover to cover and it, it, it

flowed into my, I wrote it on my iPhone and then I transferred it to Microsoft

word, but, um, little snippets here and there, you know, they just putting

it together and I wrote constantly for 12 days and the book was done.

And, um, so now it's been published.

It was, it was released on March the 1st.

The books finally arrived.

On the 20th, and, uh, and I've been asked by the publisher, shout out to

Kim and, and, uh, Helia Publishing.

They've been great.

They've asked me to write a second book, which is a devotional, and,

um, and, and they said, well, we'll look after it, you know, but

writing a book isn't, isn't free.

And, uh, and so, uh, Lisa and I, it was our, it was our love offering, um, Um, to

write the first book to, to, to the Lord.

But, um, but, but Ahelia has said, we'll, we'll look after it.

And, um, so now I'm, I'm on day 21 of a 32 day devotional and it's almost

written and it'll be released in May.

Wow.

That's an awesome story as well.

Fantastic.

Well, so, so you've written the book and as you mentioned, it just got published

and, uh, and folks scores can buy it.

I've, I've got my copy, I think, on, on its way to me right now.

Um, the book is called, I was blinded.

Um, what do you hope to the impact of that book is, uh, who,

who would you like to read it?

Um, what, what do you hope it, what do you hope it accomplishes?

It's, it's, it's been really fun, um, seeing where.

Where it's, it's, it's winding up.

Um, I, I do internet searches before I go to bed at night and, uh, and I

looked a couple of days ago and it was in Australia and it was in Singapore.

And, uh, it's not about money, uh, you know, like I said, it's, it was

a, it's a love offering, but I, I want, if I can help one person to

find Jesus, that's what I want to do.

Yeah.

So, so your goal with it really is to help people find Jesus, not so much to

help them out of, out of, uh, gambling or, or whatever it is that is consuming.

I

think, honestly, I think my, my book can help.

People with any life controlling behavior.

Okay.

It doesn't have to be gambling I mean my experiences that I write

in the book are gambling because that's all I knew for I did it for

33 years That's that's that's a lot.

You know, that's some of these young kids They're not even 33 yet that

that was a long time for me to do that And I like I said, I did it a plus.

I mean I gave it I gave it full bore.

So But, but I think it can help whether, whether it's drink or drugs

or, or sex or shopping or anything that takes your eyes off the Lord.

Um is a life controlling behavior and and and many people don't know

the lord But what i'm trying to share on this is that he's worth it.

He's alive.

Like we're gonna celebrate easter He's alive.

Amen.

He changed my life.

Amen.

Good stuff.

Kevin.

Um Wow, that is quite the personal story to tell and very emotional

for everyone listening to it.

That's for sure.

Um, you know, we've covered a lot here.

Uh, is there anything, um, that we haven't covered yet, uh, that you'd like to share?

You know, maybe what's your favorite skin moisturizer is or something.

I don't know.

Is there anything you'd like to share here that you haven't built a cover yet?

You know, it's funny you say that because probably

20, 25 years ago, when I was younger, I used to get involved in some of

the skin creams and stuff like that.

I mean, I've never really worked hard labor, so I've been blessed

with, uh, with good skin, but I, um.

It's funny you mentioned that, but one thing that I love to do, this is

just totally off topic, is I love to travel and, uh, and, and probably since

we've been married, I've gone to the Mayan with my wife, uh, 8 or 9 times,

we usually go, we fly into Cancun and then we're either in Acomel or, um,

Or close to, to Cancun, Moon Palace.

It was, it was, uh, my parents are members of Palace.

Um, one thing I love there though, they, they always bring the guacamole

and chips, and it's constant.

And my wife absolutely Loves it.

And, uh, and I got to be quite a fan.

They make really good guac there.

And, uh, but, but that's, that's more of, um, and then we recently, we just, uh, two

months ago, my mom and dad are celebrating 60 years of marriage this year.

And so dad said, why don't you come down to Punta Cana?

And I'd never been to Dominican.

So, so we went, uh, in January and Lisa was able to get some time off

and, uh, We spent a week at the hard rock and it was, we had to slum it

for, it was, it was absolutely gorgeous resort and, um, and it was a good time.

Good for you.

Good for

you.

Well, thank you again.

So, uh, my goodness, I never know on these conversations

how to even, to wrap them up.

Because I'm so humbled, uh, that you'd be willing to come

on the show and, and share this.

And I realize you're doing it because you want to lead people to Christ.

And, uh, so we're gonna, we're gonna pray that that happens here.

That's for sure.

Um, now one of the things that we do do on this show, um, and, and

sometimes it seems a little weird to lead into it, but, uh, we do

something we call rapid fire questions.

And we tend to have a little bit of fun with these.

Um, these are seven questions that we would ask you.

That all you have to do is give your immediate answer to, or you

can give a long answer or a short answer, whatever you want, Kevin.

Um, but are you up to the challenge of rapid fire?

Sure.

Now, are these things that, that, um, the first thing that comes to mind, or

do I have a moment to think about it?

You got us,

you got as long as you want.

Our, our last guest, it was very interesting.

He is a very analytical type and, uh, he took a while to answer the questions.

He'd look around the room and he'd think.

But you'll see my,

my eyebrows going up.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure, uh, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Cool.

Well, we will alternate asking you questions.

Ryan, would you like to ask the first

one?

I would love to question number one.

What is a product or service, um, that you've bought recently or something

that you may have used recently?

That was.

Really kind of splendiferous, something that was a real game changer for

you and made you think like, wow, where have you been my whole life?

You know, you know, something I've gotten into

in the last, um, when I was a kid, I collected hockey cards and.

Like most kids, we never took care of them.

We smashed them against the wall.

We played play, you know, flick them against the wall and then whoever

had the card land against the wall, um, uh, would would win the pile.

And I put them in my bicycle spokes.

Sure.

You could hear the little flap going and that type of thing.

Um, but the hobby is alive and.

I got involved after COVID and when I was, you know, starting, I mean, 2020,

I had just been released from jail.

So it was, it was, you know, there's a bit of growing pains

to get back to normal again.

I wasn't, I never got institutionalized.

So I, I, I was okay.

You know, some guys will be in and they're in so long, they start staring

at the ceilings and the walls and they, they, it's, it's a real thing that

happens to them, but I wasn't there long enough for that to happen, praise God.

Um, but, uh, Anyways, probably 2021.

I think it was, I think I've been with the, we call it breaking and we, we

open boxes of cards and packs of cards.

And now it's very different.

You put every card in a penny sleeve, then that penny sleeve goes into a top loader.

And then that top loader, if it, if the card's nice enough,

you put it into a one touch.

I mean, and you barely touch it.

Like it's, it's gotta be mint.

So I, um, I'm not sure.

I've been buying, you know, you're talking about Splendiferous.

I've been buying, um, some boxes of cards and opening those on my own.

And I also go on the internet with one guy.

I was, I was a little, you know, wondering if I don't want it, I

don't want it to be gambling, right?

So, um, but as long as I'm buying a team, I don't know what my team will be.

So there's 31 spots.

They may, they may charge 50 bucks, let's say.

And per spot and, and maybe they have multiple boxes.

So they'll have six, seven boxes of cards and, uh, And

then they randomly do the team.

So I may get the Montreal Canadiens one night.

I may get the St.

Louis Blues.

I may get whatever.

I don't know what team.

But I'm going home with cards.

So, uh, so that happened.

And they're called breakers, these people that do this.

And I got, I got a number one rookie card from 2020.

Very good condition.

I didn't get a perfect score on it, um, of Kirill Kaprizov.

Uh, and it was numbered to 25.

So there's only 25 of those in the world.

And I, I got, I got one of them.

So, I mean, talk about excitement and you watch it online and, uh, and he

opened the pack and he, his excitement alone, um, of opening it and then.

The excitement I had because I knew it was, you know, within three

weeks, I'd have it at my house.

So I had it and I, I graded it and I didn't get the 10 out of 10 that I wanted.

But, uh, it was, uh, it was classified as mint, um, which is, which is good.

It's just the 10 would have been thousands of dollars and nine out of 10 is,

you know, maybe a couple of thousand.

Very neat.

Second question.

Um, what is a funny childhood memory?

Well, my, my dad.

My dad will tell this story, but I'll share it with you guys.

Um, when I was maybe four or five, we went to, it was like a state fair.

Um, but it was, it was in either Saskatchewan, it was probably in

Manitoba because if I was four, I was in Brandon at the time.

And, um, there's quite a few people there.

And, uh, and I just stood up.

It was, it was a moment of silence.

And I started, instead of singing O Canada, I sang O Canadaog.

And I sang it at full volume and, uh, it was, um, and everybody heard because it

was quiet, like, I don't know if we were at a, a rally or at a speaking engagement

or whatever, but it was, um, It was, it was embarrassing probably for my parents.

I didn't really realize I was doing it.

Oh, that's a good one.

That's a good one.

Well, I'm not sure what happened here, but we seem to have lost Ryan's feed.

So I am going to continue with question number three, rather than alternate.

Uh, what is your favorite sushi roll?

I love Unagi.

Unagi, okay.

Unagi is eel and it is absolutely delicious.

Yeah, absolutely delicious.

I, um, I went to Japan in 1989 on a singing tour of all things.

Um, there's a group called, or an organization called Continentals.

And, uh, it was a Christian group and this was at the beginning of my gambling.

So I had only been gambling about two years and I auditioned for

it and they said, come on down.

So I went to Santa Barbara, I did some training and we flew to Japan

and Korea and I sang, we did 40 concerts in 30, sorry, that's wrong.

We did 80 concerts in 70 days.

So it was a summer.

And, um, and I, uh, I had sushi for the first time in Japan.

Wow.

It's very different though, than American or Canadian.

I prefer it here better.

And so, um, I, I love unagi.

Very

good.

It's funny.

Whenever we would take my son to a Japanese restaurant, this was

when he was just a little guy.

He would always.

order unagi don, which is eel on rice and so forth.

And this little kid sitting there eating eel here in the States probably

caught a few eyes, but anyway.

So delicious.

It is.

So next question.

Um, if you could spend a day with someone from history, who would

you choose to spend a day with?

It would be Jesus, of course.

Yeah,

that's number one.

Makes

sense.

Makes sense.

That's short and sweet.

Next question.

Um, what would you like to be remembered for at the end of your days?

I think that's very appropriate after having a, a talk like

this on reflection and things,

you know, I always, I always thought that, I mean, there were,

it's in the book, but there were two times that I thought of taking my own life.

Um, When I was, when I was writing, when, when I was going through what I did, and

I wrote that, um, I'm too much of a wimp to hurt myself, so, uh, that, that never

happened, but I always thought, you know, am I going to, like, I, I wondered, am

I going to have a heart attack while, while in the casino, you know, and then

they would find me there, and then that would be my legacy, you know, and so,

um, I always, I always thought I would be remembered as a gambler, but, but

now, um, and that's not for good reasons.

And now my story is out there and I'm, you know, I have, I have a

book that points to Jesus and, and.

It's now worth it, right?

All the things that I went through, like God, God can make

something beautiful out of ashes.

And I was at my, my second book is called Recovery After

Destruction, which is a devotional.

And it absolutely is that it's a destroyed, apocalyptic looking situation.

That the Holy Spirit comes down and says, okay, now I'm going

to make something beautiful.

Yeah,

beauty out of anxious.

Powerful stuff, Kevin.

Okay, I will ask the next question.

Um, Oh, this is a fun one.

We ask a lot.

If you were forced to eat a crayon, what color of crayon would you choose to eat?

First one came to mind was orange.

Yeah, I like that.

In terms of, in terms of Gatorade, I, I actually don't like this one very

much, and the blue is okay, but my favorites are the red and the orange,

and I, I would choose an orange crayon.

There you go.

Okay, your last rapid fire question, Kevin, um, who was your

favorite teacher in school, and what do you remember them for?

This might be a little tough with all those schools you went to, um, but,

uh, who was your favorite teacher, and what do you really remember about them?

Well, I had, I had two, um, my, my earliest memories of

a really good teacher was, was Mrs.

Dags, uh, at, uh, at Thorn Lodge in Mississauga.

I was, uh, I was grade four, so I would have been nine years old.

She was just so great.

She was just, um, uh, I remember her really loving us and, and just wanting

to, not a Christian school, but just, just loving us and, and, and enjoying

children and wanting the best for us.

And then I went to a Christian high school in Richmond, British Columbia.

Um, it was called Seacliff.

I don't know if it's still operating today.

It might still be, um, her name was Elaine Bargan.

And she, um, she is now, she passed away, but I think it was cancer

that took her, but she was, she was a great teacher, grade nine.

So I would have been 14.

Wow.

It's amazing the impact that those can have on us.

That's for sure.

And my wife's

a high school teacher.

And, uh, and I, I hear the stories, you know, she does, she does business.

She does grade, grade, uh, 9, and, uh, mostly grade 11 and 12 accounting.

And business leadership and that type of thing.

And, uh, and she's great at it.

And her kids tell, you know, send her little notes at the end of the year and

say what an impact she's had on them.

She shapes minds for sure.

Awesome stuff.

Well, and you are with this.

Book also in shaping minds and impacting hearts and souls and for eternity.

Good stuff.

Um, so Kevin, um, thank you again for joining us for folks who want

to get in touch with you, folks want you to want to buy the book.

Um, give us, give us some advice on how to do that.

Sure.

The best way to get in touch with me.

Um, I have an email, which is, I was blinded book, all one word at gmail.

com.

And, uh, and my website is I was blinded.

com.

You don't even have to put the www, it's just, I was blinded.

com and, uh, it goes right to my page and you're able to, we have eBooks,

we have, uh, paperback and soft cover and an audio book is coming.

I don't think it's going to be my voice.

It's probably an actor, but it's coming down the line and people can listen to it.

Awesome.

Good stuff.

Well, and we will put that in the show notes as well.

Uh, so I want to congratulate all three of us.

We were able to work in our challenge words.

I'm not sure if the listeners picked up on it, but Kevin, your word was.

Guacamole . Yeah.

You told a great story to work that in.

Um, you know, I kind of cheated, so my word was moisturizing.

I think I used moisturizer.

So it's close though.

And, uh, Ryan, it's a derivative.

Yeah.

Ryan had the word splendiferous, which, uh, he worked at extremely well also.

So, uh, good stuff.

So thank you again so much for joining us, Kevin.

This has been a pleasure.

I appreciate you, Todd, and, and, and Ryan and, uh.

My main focus today was to let God speak through me.

Awesome.

Good stuff.

Thank you so much to our audience for tuning into this episode of

Construction Disruption with Kevin Krestinski, author of I Was Blinded.

Please watch for future episodes of our podcast.

We're always blessed with great content.

Great guests.

Don't forget to leave a review.

Um, but until the next time we're together, keep on challenging, keep on

looking for better ways to do things.

Um, and keep on seeking Christ in your life as well.

And don't forget a long way, have a positive impact on

those that you encounter, um, bless them in any way you can.

Uh, so, uh, God bless and take care.

This is Isaiah industry signing off until the next episode

of construction disruption.

This podcast is produced by Isaiah Industries, manufacturer of specialty

metal roofing and other building products.