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You know the poly vehicle theory.

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Now what?

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How do you apply this knowledge
to your specific everyday life?

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What do you do with it?

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I'm sharing five tips to
answer that one question.

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This episode is the third
in the five part series.

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This tip focuses on bringing a
smidgen of compassion to your stuck

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defensive polyvagal state through two
skills, validating and normalizing.

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Don't let this scare you, I promise I'll
make it easy and I'll walk you through it.

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Hey, my name's Justin Sunseri I'm
a therapist and coach who helps you

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live more calmly, confidently, and
connected without psychobabble or

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woowoo, welcome to Stuck Not Broken.

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This podcast is not therapy, nor
is it intended to replace therapy.

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Ideally, we have lots of access
to the ventral vagal safety state.

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Realistically we don't.

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This is true for all of us, but more
so for you if you've lived through a

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traumatic incident or had a life full
of traumatic incidents- plus what,

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whatever social and family layers
that are just stacked on top of those.

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To put it simply, you could
probably use a bit of compassion.

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Some understanding, some empathy,
validation, and to just feel normal.

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The problem is that neither
you nor I can make that happen.

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We don't control other people,
but I can teach you to provide

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that for yourself in a few steps.

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Our goal in this episode is to validate.

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And to normalize your experience.

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To teach you this, I'm actually going
to use the slides and lessons that

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I use within the Unstucking Academy.

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So if you're on YouTube,
you'll be able to see those.

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I use these lessons within the
courses and the live practices.

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So this is kind of a inside peek into
how things work in the community,

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along with the third Polyvagal
theory tip for everyday life.

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All right, so let's do
a skills practice here.

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The first part of it is validating.

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We're gonna cover what it is, why we
would do it, why we'd validate, and

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then do a really light, easy practice.

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Validating means that we are
acknowledging what is true and

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we are more concerned with the
internal world than anything else.

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So typically we're gonna validate or
acknowledge what is true in our emotions

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and in our cognitions, our our thoughts.

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that's typically gonna be more
accessible than things like our

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underlying impulses and sensations
that come from a polyvagal state.

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So emotions and thoughts are typically
gonna be what we could validate.

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It sounds like.

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I feel sad.

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I'm angry.

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I feel nothing or I feel hopeful.

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So we can validate things that feel good
and thing things that don't feel good.

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validation is not being okay with
or liking what you acknowledge.

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I'm not asking you to be okay with it.

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And it's also not accepting it either.

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You don't have to accept
that it's permanent.

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You don't have to like it, and
you don't have to accept it.

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We just have to recognize what is true.

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Invalidation is judging
yourself, saying things like,

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there's something wrong with me.

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Other people aren't like this.

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That would be invalidating.

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Invalidation also uses what
I call cognitive skills.

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These are things that we do to lessen the
true nature of what we're going through.

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That reduce the overwhelming
nature of those things.

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So that would be like
minimizing, denying repressing.

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That would be invalidating it.

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It could sound like it's not a big deal.

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I just need to keep my mind off of it.

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Invalidation is also not
labeling or diagnosing your

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experience, your true experience.

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So saying, I feel distracted
because of my AD/HD would be.

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Invalidating to the true
experience of distraction.

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It's enough to say, I feel distracted,
or I am distracted, or I feel

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overwhelmed rather than I feel
overwhelmed because of X, Y, or Z.

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And I think we tend to over
diagnose, um, in the therapeutic

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world, but also ourselves.

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I am positive that you may have tried
to find a label for what you're feeling.

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And that you think of what you feel as a
symptom of some sort of disorder rather

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than the natural consequence of your life,
the expected, uh, consequence or expected

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result of the life that you've lived.

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And we'll talk about
that next in normalizing.

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So why would we do this?

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You might say, I don't want
to think about this stuff.

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I don't want to.

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Feel it.

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I don't wanna talk about it.

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Justin, why the heck would I validate?

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Well, how can you get
unstuck if you don't?

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If you don't acknowledge what's true,
if you don't acknowledge how your stuck

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state shows up, how do you get unstuck?

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We have to be truthful.

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We have to acknowledge what is happening.

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What would the alternative be?

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To continue to repress and minimize
and ignore or whatever's, you

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know, whatever you're doing?

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Maybe if there's some sort
of behavioral adaptation.

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Like overeating over exercising,
overworking, or underworking or whatever.

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Like that's the alternative is just to
keep your mind off it, to keep your, you

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know, out of your body, to not feel it?

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That, those skills or those coping
skills, those behavioral adaptations,

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have served a purpose and gotten
you this far and okay, but.

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It may not be working anymore
or it may not be postponing

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the issue like it used to.

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So it just, it's time
for something different.

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And that's why we validate.

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Have these other things
made your life better?

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I, I doubt it.

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Again, they may have gotten you here,
but that's different than living

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a fulfilling life that's different
than finding actual happiness.

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That's, um, that's just
keeping your mind off stuff.

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And that has a role.

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But I think that may be
played out at this point.

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you validate through
acknowledging what is true.

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Honesty is a huge part of
validation and you validate

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through being honest with yourself.

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Your feelings are there and
and be honest about that.

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You're not making this up.

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It's not random.

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You do have some level of stuck defense,
like just we can start with those pieces.

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That's honest.

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And you validate through connecting with
the present moment and whatever it brings.

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You connect with the present moment
through grounding and safety, using

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your senses and then, uh, looking
inward, and you would validate

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by noticing what you have inside
of you and being honest about it.

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Naming it.

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The good news is you've already
validated, you're here, you're

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listening to this podcast episode,
so you've already validated yourself.

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Something is uncomfortable enough
for you to be honest and then to

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do something about it as well.

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So you didn't just validate, you actually
are doing something about it as well.

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Congratulations.

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So let's shift into a a light practice.

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I'm gonna ask you to
reflect on these questions.

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First, uh, number one, could you
validate somebody else's emotions?

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Could you acknowledge and name them?

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Their emotions?

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And I, I bet you could.

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So number two, could a therapist or
other helper validate your emotions?

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Could they acknowledge and
name what you're going through?

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And I would hope they could.

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And number three, can
you validate yourself?

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This might be diff more difficult and your
answer might be, "I don't know how to, but

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I want to," and we'll take care of that.

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On the next slide, your answer might
be, "no, I can't. I don't want to,

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and I won't." And at which point, I
hope that you've enjoyed this episode

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and I hope I see you the next one.

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'cause everything beyond this
may not be helpful for you.

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Before we try validating, how
do you feel about validating?

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What, what comes up inside of you?

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What emotions come up?

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What thoughts pop into your brain?

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How do you feel about validating
your true experiences that maybe you

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have been minimizing or repressing?

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And if you can name that, if you
can say, "I feel anxiety about it,

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I feel fear, I feel overwhelmed."

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Congratulations, you
have validated yourself.

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So let's try validating.

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One experience of your stuck defensive
state or just whatever you're currently

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experiencing right now, that's fine too.

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But let's say you're in a stuck fight
state and you feel anger all the time.

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Well, you would validate it by
saying, "I feel anger." "I do

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feel anger." That's one way.

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So just fill in the blank.

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I do feel blank.

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If you have a stuck shutdown state,
you could probably validate experiences

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like hopeless or unmotivated.

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So fill in the blank again.

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I do feel blank.

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I, I don't like it, but I feel blank.

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I hate to admit it,
but yeah, I feel blank.

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And yeah, fine.

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Justin, I guess I do feel blank.

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So how did that feel to validate
yourself to, to name, to acknowledge

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and name one emotion or one
thing that you're going through?

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How did that feel?

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And you might say it was uncomfortable,
it was anxiety producing, or

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maybe another emotion surfaced.

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And if you can name how it
feels to validate yourself,

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congratulations, you have
validated yourself yet again.

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You are on a roll here.

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The next thing we're gonna
go to is normalizing.

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So what is it?

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Why would we do it?

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And then we'll do a practice,
just like we did with validation.

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Normalization is not being okay with
or liking your valid experience.

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I'm not asking you to do that.

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It is not, uh, accepting that your
experience is permanent either.

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I'm not asking you to do that.

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You don't have to like it,
you don't have to accept it.

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But what we wanna do is validate
it and then normalize it.

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Normalization is also
not judging yourself.

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It's not using those cognitive skills
I talked about, and it's not labeling

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or diagnosing your valid experience.

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So what is it?

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Normalization means making sense of
your valid experience based on context.

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And that context would be, uh,
past and present context 'cause

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the future's not here yet.

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I'm gonna ask you a weird
question and just whatever pops

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in your mind, just roll with it.

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Is the number five normal?

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That's the question.

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Is the number five normal?

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Does the number five make sense?

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If you're confused, that's fine.

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If you have an answer, that's fine too.

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I, I would love to read
what your answers are.

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If you're on YouTube,
put 'em in the comments.

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I would love to read what your
initial answers are to this.

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Well, let, let's, let's build on it.

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I'm not gonna leave you hanging.

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Let's build on this.

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Is five a normal result of two plus three?

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I would hope you say yes.

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Does five make sense within
the context of four plus one?

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I would, again, hope you would say yes.

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So let's follow this logic.

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Is your stuck state normal or expected
as a result of your life context?

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Does your stuck state make
sense within the context of your

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relationships, your attachment, your
professional life, and on and on?

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When you take these different pieces
of context, text into mind, born to

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account, does your stuck state make
sense based on present and past context?

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I believe that your
stuck state makes sense.

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I, all my client work therapy and, and
coaching and my couples therapy, my,

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my, uh, group stuff, my psychoeducation
stuff, the community I'm running,

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it seems to always make sense.

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It doesn't seem to be random to me.

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So I believe that your emotional
and cognitive experiences

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are there for a reason.

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They're not random.

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They are the response to some sort
of danger in your environment.

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And that could be passed.

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It could be present, it could be
maybe not literal, like you're being

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attacked, but the way you were raised,
the lack of attachment, lack of healthy

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attachment, the lack of love, the lack
of healthy communication, or maybe

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the outright danger in your home.

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You intercepted danger and
maybe you got stuck there.

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That's.

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An expected outcome of certain
types of homes or relationships

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or lifestyles, it makes sense.

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Why would somebody would be stuck
in defense based on that context?

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And if somebody else had your life,
if they had your context, they would

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likely have a similar stuck state.

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00:13:09,352 --> 00:13:10,942
Normalizing is different than evaluating.

240
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,122
Evaluating is rating it.

241
00:13:14,602 --> 00:13:20,182
It's saying good or bad, but normalizing
is recognizing that a stuck state

242
00:13:20,662 --> 00:13:22,252
shut down, flight, fight, freeze.

243
00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:25,432
It's biological, it's not good or bad.

244
00:13:25,432 --> 00:13:28,132
It's not positive or negative.

245
00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:29,122
It, it, it just is.

246
00:13:30,562 --> 00:13:31,402
It's biological.

247
00:13:31,402 --> 00:13:36,142
It, it's an autonomic shift based
on the context of your life and

248
00:13:36,142 --> 00:13:39,022
maybe something you needed to exist
in in order to get your needs met.

249
00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:43,117
And you are, at least in part biological,
I don't know what, what you believe as

250
00:13:43,117 --> 00:13:47,197
far as spirituality and whatnot, but
we're at least in part biological, right?

251
00:13:47,197 --> 00:13:54,637
So that biological shift from the
past comes to the present and is

252
00:13:54,727 --> 00:13:56,197
probably reinforced in the present.

253
00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:58,562
So there's no value to this.

254
00:13:58,687 --> 00:14:00,127
It's not good or bad.

255
00:14:00,127 --> 00:14:03,697
It's not a reflection of your
worth, and it's not a never

256
00:14:03,697 --> 00:14:04,927
ending limit to your potential.

257
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,497
It probably limits your potential today,
but in the future, we don't know that.

258
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:15,157
Normalizing sounds like I am
temporarily stuck in shutdown

259
00:14:15,217 --> 00:14:17,227
due to the context of my life.

260
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:18,787
Evaluation.

261
00:14:18,787 --> 00:14:21,787
Sounds like I'm in shutdown
because something's wrong with me.

262
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:23,677
Other people don't feel this way.

263
00:14:23,677 --> 00:14:27,847
Even though their lives are worse
than mine, I will never get better.

264
00:14:28,237 --> 00:14:31,297
There's a clear difference in the way
that those two things sound, right.

265
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,350
Normalizing sounds like
my feelings are normal.

266
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,450
My feelings make sense.

267
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,280
My feelings make sense.

268
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:41,850
In this context, my
feelings are not random.

269
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:47,910
Other people would probably feel similar,
and I see other people's feelings

270
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,980
and they make sense in their context.

271
00:14:50,670 --> 00:14:52,050
Mine are probably the same.

272
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:58,635
So let's do another, uh, exercise here and
I want you to reflect on these questions.

273
00:14:59,745 --> 00:15:03,705
Could you normalize
someone else's emotions?

274
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:05,055
Could you make sense of them?

275
00:15:05,552 --> 00:15:09,932
You know, a friend of yours was
saying how sad they feel and how

276
00:15:09,932 --> 00:15:11,012
much grief they're going through.

277
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:13,472
You'd probably say, yeah, you
just lost someone close to you.

278
00:15:13,472 --> 00:15:14,192
That makes sense.

279
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:19,023
Could a therapist or other helper
normalize your emotions, your

280
00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:20,823
experiences, and I would really hope so.

281
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:26,313
So can you normalize yourself?

282
00:15:26,313 --> 00:15:28,023
And you might say, I want
to, but I don't know how.

283
00:15:28,023 --> 00:15:29,973
And okay, we'll take care
of that in the next step.

284
00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:32,778
So how do you feel about
normalizing your, your experiences

285
00:15:32,778 --> 00:15:33,798
by the way, before we get there?

286
00:15:34,323 --> 00:15:34,983
How do you feel about that?

287
00:15:34,983 --> 00:15:38,583
What emotions, what thoughts,
uh, come up for you?

288
00:15:39,843 --> 00:15:46,653
What pops into your brain or your body as
we consider normalizing our experiences?

289
00:15:49,599 --> 00:15:55,059
So let's briefly normalize one
experience of your stuck state or

290
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:56,709
whatever you're currently experiencing.

291
00:15:57,219 --> 00:15:59,589
And if you need to use your sense of
touch, I think it's really helpful

292
00:15:59,589 --> 00:16:04,719
to squeeze, to pull, to push,
you know, maybe into your palms.

293
00:16:04,719 --> 00:16:07,119
Just use release if you have
something coming up within

294
00:16:07,119 --> 00:16:08,229
you that's a bit too much.

295
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:13,029
Use some sort of, uh,
physical means to release it.

296
00:16:13,029 --> 00:16:14,529
And I, I think those are pretty good ways.

297
00:16:15,039 --> 00:16:17,169
Uh, but if you just need to get, move
around, go ahead and do that too.

298
00:16:19,449 --> 00:16:20,829
The step one here is to validate.

299
00:16:20,859 --> 00:16:23,079
I do feel, what, what do you feel?

300
00:16:23,139 --> 00:16:25,329
It can be the same thing as
before or something brand new.

301
00:16:25,329 --> 00:16:28,389
So let's say that you feel, uh, hopeless.

302
00:16:30,321 --> 00:16:34,221
Lightly ever so lightly reflect
on past context, which could

303
00:16:34,221 --> 00:16:35,331
contribute to your stuckness.

304
00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:40,581
So if you feel hopeless, you might say,
well, in my past I've been let down a lot,

305
00:16:41,781 --> 00:16:46,911
or I've never lived up to what I wanted
myself, or people didn't believe me in

306
00:16:46,911 --> 00:16:50,781
me, or I was constantly rejected as a kid.

307
00:16:51,441 --> 00:16:53,331
So just keep it pretty darn light.

308
00:16:53,361 --> 00:16:55,071
Just one sentence, just like that.

309
00:16:55,071 --> 00:16:55,491
Okay.

310
00:16:56,211 --> 00:17:02,151
Same thing in your current context,
lightly reflect on current context that

311
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,591
could contribute to your stuckness.

312
00:17:04,161 --> 00:17:07,131
That could be behavioral adaptations
or cognitive adaptations.

313
00:17:07,131 --> 00:17:10,011
That would be things you do to feel
better, that don't really help.

314
00:17:10,581 --> 00:17:16,941
So you might say, yeah, I tend to overeat,
or I isolate myself a lot in darkness.

315
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:21,891
Or maybe there's a relationship
that you're in, a friendship, uh, a

316
00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:24,171
professional relationship that is just.

317
00:17:24,516 --> 00:17:25,686
Really keeping you stuck.

318
00:17:25,686 --> 00:17:30,006
Someone is, you know, invalidating
your experiences or putting lots

319
00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,926
of pressure on you to change.

320
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:36,966
Those could be things that, and
reinforce your stuckness, but

321
00:17:36,966 --> 00:17:38,586
again, keep it really, really light.

322
00:17:40,806 --> 00:17:42,636
And step three here is to normalize it.

323
00:17:42,636 --> 00:17:44,436
Does it make sense why you're stuck?

324
00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:50,556
When you take in those contexts, when you
take them into account, does it make sense

325
00:17:50,556 --> 00:17:52,836
why you're stuck and why you stay stuck?

326
00:17:54,092 --> 00:17:58,052
Does it make sense why you think
and feel the way that you do?

327
00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:06,782
So if I felt hopeless and I was
raised in a home where I didn't really

328
00:18:06,782 --> 00:18:11,132
have healthy attachments with my
caregivers and didn't really receive

329
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:15,542
positive encouragement, and now I'm
in a relationship where this person's

330
00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:17,192
pressuring me to be someone I'm not.

331
00:18:18,512 --> 00:18:20,492
Would it make sense why I feel hopeless?

332
00:18:20,942 --> 00:18:22,142
Yeah, of course it does.

333
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,740
We will take it a step further here.

334
00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:28,670
We're gonna create a short normalizing
statement for your experience.

335
00:18:28,976 --> 00:18:29,876
Just fill in the blank.

336
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,216
I feel blank, which makes sense.

337
00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:38,906
Based on the context of my
life, I think blank, which makes

338
00:18:38,906 --> 00:18:40,916
sense based on my life context.

339
00:18:43,304 --> 00:18:46,754
I always feel blank, and I
think anyone else would too.

340
00:18:49,364 --> 00:18:54,404
And in the context of my life, my
feelings of blank make complete sense.

341
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:57,645
Polyvagal, ladder climbing is difficult.

342
00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:59,055
Self-regulation is difficult.

343
00:18:59,055 --> 00:18:59,625
It's not easy.

344
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:00,705
Change is not easy.

345
00:19:01,275 --> 00:19:01,965
Not just for you.

346
00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:02,655
It's not a you issue.

347
00:19:02,655 --> 00:19:03,225
It's everybody.

348
00:19:03,315 --> 00:19:03,885
All of us.

349
00:19:05,025 --> 00:19:05,475
All of us.

350
00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:09,225
By the way, it might be new, so
change is difficult for anybody but

351
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:14,595
this inward, mindfulness, polyvagal,
self-regulation stuff, it might be brand

352
00:19:14,595 --> 00:19:20,265
new to you and you've been, however
you've been for years, decades maybe.

353
00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:22,005
And here you are trying to change it.

354
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:22,755
So let's normalize.

355
00:19:22,755 --> 00:19:23,535
Like that's not easy.

356
00:19:24,092 --> 00:19:28,322
change might not come easily, and
that is very normal and very okay.

357
00:19:28,382 --> 00:19:30,632
And if when you do change, it
probably won't be all at once.

358
00:19:30,632 --> 00:19:34,970
It's gonna be in slow, small
steps, your stuckness is normal,

359
00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:37,160
but so are moments of connection.

360
00:19:38,030 --> 00:19:41,420
Even though you might be stuck
in a defensive state, you do have

361
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:44,690
it within you to have at least
small moments of connection.

362
00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:48,260
Here you are looking inward,
listening, learning, and trying to

363
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:49,340
get more in touch with yourself.

364
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,680
So moments of connection are possible.

365
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,800
You're doing it right now,
so even though you're stuck,

366
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,030
you, there is some hope here.

367
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:58,460
There is, there are
potentials for connection.

368
00:19:59,435 --> 00:20:01,295
Y not just with yourself,
but the outside world.

369
00:20:01,295 --> 00:20:04,805
Using your senses, maybe with
others in including your pets.

370
00:20:05,231 --> 00:20:05,591
You're here.

371
00:20:05,591 --> 00:20:07,361
You didn't have to be here, right?

372
00:20:07,361 --> 00:20:08,501
You made a choice to be here.

373
00:20:09,131 --> 00:20:12,101
You've made many choices
along this pathway.

374
00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:16,616
Maybe you've been to therapy or retreats
or tried medications or this or that.

375
00:20:16,691 --> 00:20:20,621
The other thing, so you, you probably
made a bunch of choices and here you are.

376
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:21,911
This is another one of your choices.

377
00:20:24,101 --> 00:20:25,121
You're already on the path.

378
00:20:25,871 --> 00:20:28,541
You're already on that path of
change and you are moving forward.

379
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,731
I know you want more,
but, but here you are.

380
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:33,851
All you're doing is taking that
next step and hopefully learning

381
00:20:33,851 --> 00:20:36,971
to validate and normalize is a
nice, solid next step for you.

382
00:20:38,831 --> 00:20:43,571
So you are less stuck now than you
were in the past and in the near

383
00:20:43,571 --> 00:20:45,791
future you're gonna be even less stuck.

384
00:20:46,031 --> 00:20:46,901
Congratulations.

385
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,637
Keep going down the path.

386
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:49,357
You're not done yet.

387
00:20:49,387 --> 00:20:50,977
No, I don't think
anyone's ever quite done.

388
00:20:51,397 --> 00:20:55,477
Hopefully, we're always walking down
the path of self-development, right?

389
00:20:56,017 --> 00:20:56,617
And unstuck.

390
00:20:57,907 --> 00:21:00,307
So you haven't gotten to where exactly
where you want to be yet, but you're

391
00:21:00,307 --> 00:21:04,267
firmly on the path, and I hope this skill
helps you keep walking down that path.

392
00:21:06,684 --> 00:21:09,114
Thanks so much for joining
me on Stuck Not Broken.

393
00:21:09,172 --> 00:21:13,342
I hope this episode has helped you to
validate and to normalize your stuck

394
00:21:13,342 --> 00:21:16,972
states and how it shows up for you
in your daily life, and maybe even

395
00:21:16,972 --> 00:21:18,262
right now in this present moment.

396
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:23,182
You can use this little validation and
normalization practice at any time.

397
00:21:23,722 --> 00:21:25,792
Just come back to this
episode and relisten to it.

398
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,675
There's always something
to validate or normalize.

399
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,375
Like right now, you're having
some sort of experience that you

400
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,415
could validate and normalize.

401
00:21:34,135 --> 00:21:37,525
And as you practice this,
especially with your stuck defensive

402
00:21:37,525 --> 00:21:41,905
state, you may notice that other
experiences come into your system.

403
00:21:41,905 --> 00:21:46,345
Like as you validate and normalize one
experience, something else pops up.

404
00:21:46,915 --> 00:21:48,385
So it never really stops.

405
00:21:49,165 --> 00:21:52,195
Validation and normalization just
kind of keep going indefinitely

406
00:21:52,195 --> 00:21:53,035
in the present moment.

407
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,039
So that's your homework from this episode.

408
00:21:55,159 --> 00:21:58,369
Keep practicing validation
and normalization.

409
00:21:58,939 --> 00:22:02,600
Listen back to this, not just when
you need it, but before you need it.

410
00:22:03,094 --> 00:22:06,454
Practice the skill before you
climb further down your polyvagal

411
00:22:06,454 --> 00:22:09,604
ladder and into more dysregulation.

412
00:22:09,604 --> 00:22:15,154
Practice it when you have a positive
emotion, like calm, just as much as you

413
00:22:15,154 --> 00:22:18,274
have, um, a negative one, like anxiety.

414
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:21,304
These aren't really positive or
negative, but we can, we tend

415
00:22:21,304 --> 00:22:22,444
to group 'em in that manner.

416
00:22:22,804 --> 00:22:25,744
If you like this lesson, you're
going to love what I have

417
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:27,634
within the Unstucking Academy.

418
00:22:27,934 --> 00:22:34,114
I have courses, a private community,
more skills practices, Q&As, lots of

419
00:22:34,114 --> 00:22:39,154
stuff to ensure that you're learning
clearly and that you know what your

420
00:22:39,154 --> 00:22:41,618
next step is, and that you're not alone.

421
00:22:41,637 --> 00:22:44,427
And if you're brand new to the
Polyvagal Theory, I created the

422
00:22:44,427 --> 00:22:49,707
Foundations Membership just for
you for only 10 bucks per month.

423
00:22:49,854 --> 00:22:56,134
Learn more at
justinLMFT.com/unstuckingacademy,

424
00:22:56,214 --> 00:23:00,064
justinLMFT.com/unstuckingacademy.

425
00:23:00,202 --> 00:23:01,882
The link is in the description.

426
00:23:02,452 --> 00:23:03,352
Thanks again for joining me.

427
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:03,802
Bye.