1 00:00:07,290 --> 00:00:09,930 Well, Hey everybody, Jonathan Doyle with you. 2 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:12,690 Once again, welcome my friends to the daily podcast. 3 00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:16,800 Really enjoying the opportunity to spend some time with you guys each day. 4 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,140 I know you all listen at different times. 5 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,259 I know you don't always get to every episode, but you never know 6 00:00:22,259 --> 00:00:24,209 when the good Lord, the cosmos. 7 00:00:24,779 --> 00:00:28,950 However you conceptualize things is just going to bring you an idea, a, 8 00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,049 a thought, an inspiration, a quote. 9 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,260 That's just going to affect your day in some positive way. 10 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:35,310 It's a great joy to do it. 11 00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:38,670 It, uh, Often the site of care and they're doing this work each day. 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,900 Not only is hopefully a blessing to many of you guys, but also just a great chance 13 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:47,760 for me to keep embedding the learning that I'm undertaking on this journey of life. 14 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,410 There's still so much to learn. 15 00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,569 We are such deeply mysterious. 16 00:00:52,379 --> 00:00:55,500 Creatures living in the mysterious cosmos. 17 00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:59,760 And, uh, there were just so many opportunities before us, so much potential 18 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:04,110 that we have, and hopefully each day, just to sharing this time with you, we get a 19 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:05,910 chance to explore some of that together. 20 00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,980 Please make sure you have subscribed. 21 00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:10,830 Hit that big subscribe button, wherever you're listening on 22 00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,930 apple podcasts, Spotify, Google. 23 00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:15,930 Gosh, there are so many podcasts platforms now. 24 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:16,890 I'll just say, gosh. 25 00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:20,250 It's I guess it's better than anything else, but. 26 00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:23,520 Say that in the wall, so please make sure you're subscribed. 27 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,660 It does make a big difference. 28 00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:25,860 And if you like what you're hearing. 29 00:01:26,490 --> 00:01:28,650 Then reach out and let me know, send me an email. 30 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,610 jonathan@jonathandoyle.co.com. 31 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:36,090 Specifically, if you've got a topic you want me to cover up, 32 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:37,200 there was an episode I did. 33 00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:40,020 Uh, about a week ago on toxic people. 34 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:44,100 And it just took off, it had like, you know, a huge number of hits and 35 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,970 listens compared to the episodes that surround that at some deeply convinced 36 00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:50,160 that listener generated content. 37 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:51,300 Is the way to go. 38 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:54,990 So if you find that there is something in your life that's holding you back, 39 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,700 there's an issue, a challenge, a problem. 40 00:01:57,060 --> 00:02:00,270 It could be work-related relationships, health, and fitness mindset, 41 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:01,620 anything that's holding you back. 42 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,880 Send me an email today, Jonathan, at Jonathan doyle.co, because 43 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:08,400 those questions, excuse me. 44 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,220 That I get from you guys really helped generate the content. 45 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,730 So please make sure you subscribed, flick me an email with some ideas 46 00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:15,960 for what you want to hear about. 47 00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:19,350 And make sure you go and check out the description notes today because there 48 00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:23,160 are links in there to get free access to my book, bridging the gap, free access. 49 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,230 You can find it, how to book me to speak. 50 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:30,750 If you're have a leadership role in, uh, in business, in a community organizations, 51 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,790 churches, education, setting schools. 52 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,220 Wherever you have a leadership role. 53 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:38,160 Let me know if you would like me to come in and work with your team, your people, 54 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,350 and put together a great presentation. 55 00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:44,160 That's going to help move everybody forward now. 56 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:45,870 I said about a week ago. 57 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:46,710 It didn't episode. 58 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,330 That said, what if God is on your side and a, that fits into today's 59 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:54,990 episode because I had this kind of God on my side experience, we've been 60 00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:57,060 on a little break for about a week. 61 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,320 And by in Queensland. 62 00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:00,990 And I love books. 63 00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:04,740 I'm a voracious reader, one of the great tragedies of this season of life. 64 00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:07,590 Not that there's many of them really, but one of the tragedies or. 65 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,980 How about something that's just mildly inconvenient. 66 00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:12,600 Let's just downgrade it to that. 67 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:17,730 Uh, in this season of life is I didn't get to read often as much as I want it to. 68 00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:22,440 When a pre COVID, I was traveling so much, especially flying in and out of 69 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:27,930 the U S you know, every, uh, sort of few weeks I got to do tons of great readings. 70 00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:29,400 So that's a, it's a real pity, but. 71 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:32,310 So I am a, I'm a bibliophile. 72 00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:34,530 I'm somebody that loves to read. 73 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:35,430 I've always been, you know, for. 74 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:38,460 Uh, for decades now, I just had such an interesting business books. 75 00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:41,040 Personal development biographies. 76 00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:45,000 And so we're up on the coast and there's a couple of oh, I spend two 77 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,500 or three bookshops that I went to. 78 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,270 And I'll be really honest with you. 79 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,850 I was just, I was kind of. 80 00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:54,690 What's the word, not nonplussed. 81 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,370 I was kind of underwhelmed. 82 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:00,660 That's what I was looking for underwhelmed by a lot of the stuff that's out there in. 83 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,780 You know, at the moment in terms of personal development and. 84 00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:06,540 Spirituality self-help stuff. 85 00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:10,380 It's it's it seems to me, and this is just a, sort of a broad brush here. 86 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,200 It's very kind of utilitarian. 87 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,280 It takes the view that the purpose of existence is simply too. 88 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:22,140 Maximize efficiency and impact and outcomes. 89 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:25,920 And it treats many of its sort of treats life has kind of like a. 90 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:30,120 Uh, sort of like some sort of project that we just need to optimize 91 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,470 and then we will find happiness. 92 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,900 I guess what I'm saying is a lot of, it seems to be missing depth. 93 00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:35,520 So hence my story. 94 00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:39,900 Uh, Karen and I had a rare chance to get a break. 95 00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:43,710 Uh, kids are still pretty young as you know, and we Karen's parents 96 00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:46,680 offered to take the kids for the evening and we escaped to have dinner 97 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:49,410 and, uh, And it was a, it was great. 98 00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:52,470 And the, unfortunately the weather it was, was a bit off. 99 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:55,290 So we were driving around and trying to find somewhere to go for dinner. 100 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,310 And as we do some times, here's, here's me teaching people how to 101 00:04:59,310 --> 00:05:00,840 be decisive and full of action. 102 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,240 And we're indecisive trying to find a restaurant and we're 103 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,680 driving around and driving around. 104 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,040 And at one point we turned a corner and I just happened to 105 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,810 notice a secondhand bookstore. 106 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:10,350 It was closed. 107 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:11,610 I just noticed where it was. 108 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,120 And so a couple of days later, We're out walking in. 109 00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:17,700 And I said to guys that, Hey, let's go check out this bookstore. 110 00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:18,090 And. 111 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:19,560 Sure enough. 112 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,790 We ended up at the bookstore and it's, I love old secondhand bookstores, and 113 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,430 I've found that a sort of business, personal development section. 114 00:05:27,090 --> 00:05:30,270 And I found this really fascinating book and I'm just going to, I've got it here 115 00:05:30,270 --> 00:05:34,470 in front of me, and I'm just looking at the, um, The first published thing. 116 00:05:34,470 --> 00:05:36,570 It should be interesting when this was first published. 117 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,170 Let me see. 118 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,510 Um, first published. 119 00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,120 In 1992. 120 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,670 As my first year out of high school. 121 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:46,560 1992. 122 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,530 So friends that is 30 years ago. 123 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,190 My gosh. 124 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:52,620 And it's, um, it's a fascinating book. 125 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:56,730 It's called thick face, black heart thick face, black heart. 126 00:05:57,210 --> 00:06:00,840 From a Taiwanese Chinese lady called chin Ning. 127 00:06:00,930 --> 00:06:01,500 True. 128 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,810 And she a fascinating lady, you know, really amazing story. 129 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:11,730 Uh, her parents with, uh, she was with her parents when they literally got the last. 130 00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,370 Commercial flight out of mainland China. 131 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:19,590 Um, during the, uh, you know, when the, uh, the revolution was, um, 132 00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:23,220 People were escaping to Taiwan to escape, um, mail. 133 00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:25,290 And they were literally on the last flight out. 134 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:29,460 And, um, so she had this amazing life, you know, she came from wealth, but they ended 135 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,500 up so poor, obviously fleeing the country. 136 00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:34,530 Then she built a life in, in the U S in business. 137 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:38,850 And, um, she became a real genius at helping Western business operators 138 00:06:38,850 --> 00:06:42,420 understand the, sort of the, the Asian mindset around business. 139 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:43,470 So that's her story, but. 140 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:48,300 This book thick face black heart was just, I just, I just sort of reached 141 00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:53,220 out to me and it costs me $4, 95, $4 95. 142 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:55,470 And most of the other stuff that you find these days in. 143 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,620 Airports, you know, you're paying 30, $40 for. 144 00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:00,480 What can often be a bit of fluff. 145 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,280 So this book has been really fascinating. 146 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,360 It's got depth to it. 147 00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:06,060 It comes from, uh, an intelligent person. 148 00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,430 Who's lived a lot of life, seen a lot of life. 149 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:12,000 And, um, yeah, I just want to encourage everybody that, um, you know, pay 150 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,990 attention to what you're reading like this, some, a lot of fluff around these 151 00:07:15,990 --> 00:07:20,160 days and, and, you know, often the, um, The more challenging texts, you know, 152 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,040 stuff that I mentioned at the moment, I just bought her a new translation 153 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,080 of Marcus Aurelius has meditations. 154 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:28,950 Um, I'm a big fan of, uh, Alfred Adler and a lot of these things. 155 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,200 You have to do the work. 156 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,130 You have to actually put the time in and read them and understand them. 157 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,470 But, um, listen, what I want to do today. 158 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,800 Is a, I'm a big, uh, underline or highlight or so. 159 00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:45,120 All through this book, I've just highlighted and written things down. 160 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,130 And there was a section I want to share with you today. 161 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,270 Which is the purpose of today's episode, which is going a little bit deeper 162 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,280 into this concept of fear of success. 163 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,120 Self-sabotaged which I talk about quite frequently, regular listeners will 164 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,410 know that it comes up and I want to. 165 00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:01,230 Uh, share this quote with you from chin Ning. 166 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,040 True. 167 00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:06,600 And from her book here, but, uh, let's just riff on fear 168 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,800 of success at the moment. 169 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,450 Now we all get fear of failure, right? 170 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:14,280 Like we all objectively understand why a fear of failure is a thing. 171 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,990 We all understand that we want to have. 172 00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:19,260 You know, some level of success in life, you want to achieve certain 173 00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:23,460 things and it is reasonable to fear failures in it because we're 174 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:24,750 worried that we'll be ostracized. 175 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:25,500 We'll be embarrassed. 176 00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:28,650 Will please seen as inadequate or incompetent. 177 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:29,880 So fear of failure on. 178 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,970 You know, on a pretty objective level makes some kind of sense, right? 179 00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:35,850 And then I can obviously drive a lot of anxiety where afraid to, 180 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,620 you know, that we're going to fail. 181 00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,819 So that's I get that. 182 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:43,140 I kind of understand why fear of, you know, Well, public speaking is 183 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,430 a real fear for many people, right? 184 00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:47,579 Because there's that genuine sense of, I don't want to get up there and. 185 00:08:47,939 --> 00:08:49,589 And make an absolute fool of myself. 186 00:08:49,619 --> 00:08:49,890 So. 187 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,800 But for your success is a stranger beast. 188 00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:55,410 It is sort of one of the unicorns of personal development. 189 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,459 Why would any of us. 190 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,199 FIA success. 191 00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:00,150 I mean, how is that possible? 192 00:09:00,150 --> 00:09:02,729 And then, you know, of course we understand this phenomenon of 193 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,420 self-sabotage of people getting to a particular place and then blowing 194 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,920 their lives up spectacularly. 195 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:08,880 What would drive that? 196 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:09,180 Well, 197 00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:12,930 Obviously it's a semi-conscious or even subconscious impulse. 198 00:09:12,989 --> 00:09:15,030 Um, that's we want to talk about today. 199 00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:17,550 Because chin Nene chew. 200 00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:19,469 It gives us a really good insight here in this. 201 00:09:19,469 --> 00:09:20,280 So let me read it to you. 202 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,119 She says this. 203 00:09:21,719 --> 00:09:26,250 Most of the things we think we want come at the price of 204 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:31,380 leaving behind our familiar life and venturing into the unknown. 205 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,160 Every time we accomplished something and move ahead. 206 00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:39,359 We have to exchange the known conditions of our life. 207 00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:40,859 For uncertainty. 208 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,540 And unfamiliarity. 209 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,859 Even though most people think they are trying to succeed. 210 00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:50,250 They are simply going through the motions. 211 00:09:50,849 --> 00:09:52,410 And I'm going to read that to you again in a sec, I think 212 00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:53,339 there's a lot of depth in that. 213 00:09:53,339 --> 00:09:54,959 And as I say, that's why I liked this book. 214 00:09:55,439 --> 00:10:00,239 Um, She's drawing our attention to the most obvious truth. 215 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:03,479 That we are bio physiologically. 216 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:08,579 And in terms of evolutionary psychology, we are hardwired adapted to 217 00:10:08,579 --> 00:10:13,199 belonging, to certainty, to stability and predictability as a species. 218 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,359 We have done really well using. 219 00:10:15,479 --> 00:10:17,400 Leveraging a few great realities. 220 00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:19,170 Cooperation is one of them. 221 00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:20,130 That's one of the things that's seen. 222 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,810 Our species absolutely thrive. 223 00:10:22,229 --> 00:10:23,430 Uh, and also. 224 00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:27,780 Things like this sort of, uh, the social cohesion and this desire 225 00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:32,579 to stay alive, this desire to, to not take unnecessary risks. 226 00:10:32,969 --> 00:10:38,130 I've said on recent podcasts that we admire risk-takers we admire explorers 227 00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:42,510 and people that do amazing things, but to be honest, in terms of evolutionary, uh, 228 00:10:42,569 --> 00:10:46,859 psychology and, uh, and evolution itself, these are often the people that got eaten. 229 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,369 They were the ones that wanted to explore our known territories 230 00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:51,540 and got eaten by a bear. 231 00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:55,979 So as a species, we actually evolved to sit around the campfire with our 232 00:10:56,609 --> 00:10:59,849 backs, to the fire, looking out into the darkness, making sure nothing ATUs. 233 00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:06,000 So you can see how this desire for predictability for certainty has been 234 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,650 a very big part of the human story. 235 00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:11,640 And once we begin to venture into unknown territory, we 236 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,099 simultaneously make the decision. 237 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,150 For our lives, our experiences, our relationships to be different. 238 00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:19,650 Let's do some really obvious examples. 239 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,010 If you're a heavy drug addict, there is a highly, like a 240 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,209 high likelihood that you are. 241 00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,790 Of course, what surrounded by white for it. 242 00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:28,170 Other heavy drug users. 243 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:28,439 Right? 244 00:11:28,439 --> 00:11:28,530 It's. 245 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,180 It's an enabling process. 246 00:11:30,569 --> 00:11:31,800 Uh, we often find that. 247 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:35,670 You know, people with all sorts of particular focuses and 248 00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:38,520 interests in life tend to group themselves around other people. 249 00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:42,930 Elite athletes tend to be around other elite athletes as a species. 250 00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:44,310 Again, we're adapted for this. 251 00:11:44,729 --> 00:11:48,359 So, what tends to happen is if we want to really change our lives, we 252 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:52,859 immediately face the risk of ostracizing, some of the people in our lives. 253 00:11:52,890 --> 00:11:55,229 And, um, people think, well, does it have to be that way? 254 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,900 I don't know the answer to that, but it seems to be that 255 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,400 way that is our lives change. 256 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,859 As we try different things and experience different things 257 00:12:01,859 --> 00:12:03,180 and desire different things. 258 00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:07,319 Some of our relationships and our experience of life and our relationship 259 00:12:07,319 --> 00:12:08,849 with ourselves can begin to shift. 260 00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:10,079 So what are most people do? 261 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,709 Well, as she says here in the last line, she says, even though most people 262 00:12:13,709 --> 00:12:15,630 think they are trying to succeed, 263 00:12:16,079 --> 00:12:18,719 They are simply going through the motions. 264 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,380 I think if you ask most people, if you say, Hey, did, would 265 00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:23,729 you like to succeed in life? 266 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:28,020 I mean, who is rationally going to say, hell no, I want to fail badly. 267 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,520 I want to just lose everything. 268 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,719 Everybody. 269 00:12:30,719 --> 00:12:35,040 I think most rational people would argue that they want to improve their lives. 270 00:12:35,069 --> 00:12:35,670 They want to grow. 271 00:12:35,699 --> 00:12:36,420 They want to succeed. 272 00:12:36,449 --> 00:12:36,959 They want to change. 273 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:37,949 So why don't they. 274 00:12:38,819 --> 00:12:39,810 You know, to be blunt. 275 00:12:39,810 --> 00:12:43,079 Why does so many people tend to settle in life? 276 00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:45,599 You know, I often talk about the metaphorical couch of life. 277 00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,280 Why does so many people settle? 278 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,579 What differentiates people that want more and desire more? 279 00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:53,069 That is, uh, you know, it's one of the great mysteries. 280 00:12:53,069 --> 00:12:53,459 Isn't it? 281 00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:55,500 Let me do this quote with you one more time. 282 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,699 We'll just unpack a little bit more here. 283 00:12:56,699 --> 00:12:57,150 She goes. 284 00:12:57,449 --> 00:12:59,160 Most of the things we think we want. 285 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,699 I come at the price of leaving behind our familiar life. 286 00:13:03,089 --> 00:13:05,339 And venturing into the unknown. 287 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,869 Every time we accomplished something and move ahead, we have to exchange 288 00:13:09,869 --> 00:13:11,729 the known conditions of our life. 289 00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:15,030 For uncertainty and unfamiliarity. 290 00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:17,969 Even though most people think they are trying to succeed. 291 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:20,729 They are simply going through the motions. 292 00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:24,989 You know, I think I mentioned recently that I've been teaching my eldest daughter 293 00:13:24,989 --> 00:13:30,359 world history, and recently we've looked at the D uh, the journeys of Vesco to 294 00:13:30,359 --> 00:13:34,260 Garma Christopher Columbus and Ferdinand, Magellan, and Magellan, of course. 295 00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:40,680 Is the, uh, the great Explorer, the first person to circumnavigate the globe though. 296 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,180 He didn't actually pull it off. 297 00:13:42,209 --> 00:13:42,569 Um, 298 00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:43,650 Many of you will go. 299 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,380 What, Magellan's the guy that circumnavigated the world. 300 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:47,310 What kind of, he. 301 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,780 He left Spain and, uh, headed through pasture Boulter and out 302 00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:55,680 into the ocean and, um, got around the horn and blah, blah, blah. 303 00:13:55,739 --> 00:13:58,650 But eventually he got to the Philippines and was killed. 304 00:13:59,219 --> 00:14:03,630 So had his captain and, uh, the rest of his crew managed to get back to Italy, but 305 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,339 he didn't, uh, he didn't actually make it. 306 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,859 But, you know, I think about these people. 307 00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:10,589 When you look at the journey that they would have made and the 308 00:14:10,589 --> 00:14:12,030 boats that they were doing it in. 309 00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:15,420 And the vast distances. 310 00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:19,439 You know, it was Magellan that named the Pacific, the Pacific, it comes from, 311 00:14:19,469 --> 00:14:21,479 you know, Uh, patchy, meaning peaceful. 312 00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:25,530 So they, it was a peaceful ocean and it was calm when they crossed it. 313 00:14:26,579 --> 00:14:28,469 I've flown that ocean so many times. 314 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:31,349 I'm flying Sydney to Dallas that many times. 315 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:35,819 And you just get a sense of the scale involved and modern 316 00:14:35,819 --> 00:14:38,099 getting at he was, can you imagine what that would have been like? 317 00:14:38,699 --> 00:14:45,180 To leave behind the relative comforts of European civilization at that time 318 00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,550 to head into this vast unknown, I mean, 319 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,670 And then I looked at who was I looking at the other day? 320 00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:57,599 You know, Marco polo that a tedious kind of 25 year Trek all the way from Venice 321 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,959 to, uh, to the Imperial courts in China. 322 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:07,170 And just the leaving behind and the decision to step out into something, 323 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,459 not knowing what's going to happen. 324 00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,199 My point here is that. 325 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:15,449 The men and women who tend to do interesting, remarkable, important things 326 00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:20,099 in life tend to be men and women who are prepared to leave behind the familiar. 327 00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:24,599 Who are prepared to take risks now as OSA, lets you know, there's a 328 00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:26,069 question of degree here, right? 329 00:15:26,069 --> 00:15:30,810 So we're not all called to, you know, chart new courses through the stars. 330 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:35,369 But sometimes, you know, The success that we want in a marriage or 331 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,250 parenting or work or career or health. 332 00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:40,680 Comes from the same dynamic. 333 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,459 It comes from going, the realization that you've lived a certain way. 334 00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:47,699 For a long time, but you're no longer prepared to stay there. 335 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:49,109 So, this is what I call it. 336 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:49,260 We're. 337 00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:50,729 When I think about this episode, I thought. 338 00:15:51,359 --> 00:15:53,910 How do I move this from being abstract to being concrete? 339 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:54,660 How do I give you? 340 00:15:55,050 --> 00:15:59,040 Some actual things to do or to think about in terms of, you know, 341 00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:00,810 experiencing more success in your life. 342 00:16:00,839 --> 00:16:02,430 Look, the first things I'd say to everybody is. 343 00:16:03,150 --> 00:16:05,880 You want to have some clarity, always teach that you need to have some 344 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,800 clarity about what success actually. 345 00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:10,199 Looks like for you and no judgment, right? 346 00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:13,619 Like for some people, success could be, you know, the, the big success 347 00:16:13,619 --> 00:16:17,430 that the chasing could be, you know, losing 10 pounds and getting fit. 348 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,270 For some people that could be to become president of the United nations. 349 00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:23,400 Um, it doesn't matter. 350 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:27,390 It's it's, I mean, I'm not going to critique people's desires in terms of 351 00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:29,880 growth and development and, and goals. 352 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,609 But the first thing you needed is some clarity. 353 00:16:33,449 --> 00:16:35,099 The next thing I'd suggest is. 354 00:16:35,699 --> 00:16:39,030 I was really thinking deeply that what, what is the energy 355 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,969 source that will move you from. 356 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,150 The drudgery of the day to day or the results that you've 357 00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:46,349 been getting for too long. 358 00:16:46,349 --> 00:16:49,229 And what it is that you actually want, what is that mechanism? 359 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:53,880 And it's what I've been calling, I think for a few years, divine dissatisfaction. 360 00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:56,729 You've got to get what I call a divine dissatisfaction, 361 00:16:56,729 --> 00:17:00,119 which is a kind of spiritual dissatisfaction with where you are. 362 00:17:00,599 --> 00:17:04,920 Uh, nagging sense that there is more in life for you, a nagging 363 00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:09,270 sense that you could contribute more experience, more, have more. 364 00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:12,990 You know, in life said, you've got to look for that dissatisfaction. 365 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,070 If you don't have that. 366 00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:18,000 If you don't have some kind of gnawing sense that things couldn't 367 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,230 should be a little bit different. 368 00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:22,770 Then you are unlikely to make significant change. 369 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,070 And the last point I wanted to make today, Was to also draw your 370 00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:27,930 attention to the truth, to the truth. 371 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,860 I think the truth. 372 00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:30,420 That growth. 373 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:31,680 Is. 374 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:33,660 Essential. 375 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,450 It's an essential aspect of the cosmic order. 376 00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:40,020 Everything is moving in the cosmos, right? 377 00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:43,620 Nothing stationary where you say, you might say, well, what about mountains? 378 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:44,520 Mountains don't go anywhere. 379 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,300 Of course they do. 380 00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:49,620 You know, like I live in Australia, it's a very old, stable, relatively 381 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:53,670 flat geological continent that once had huge mountains. 382 00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:58,770 So mountains are being ground down to dust and that dust is moving into the oceans or 383 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,480 being blown to other parts of the world. 384 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,230 And eventually. 385 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,200 We're going to get a supernova and the planet won't exist and everything 386 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,500 that constitutes this planet will be sucked into a black hole, probably. 387 00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:10,290 So nothing is stationary. 388 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:10,800 Nothing. 389 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,350 Things are always moving. 390 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,760 And I just think that the. 391 00:18:15,270 --> 00:18:16,920 Where I'm beginning to move. 392 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,250 My thinking is that we are called into this great cosmic mystery. 393 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,860 Of growth and movement. 394 00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:26,880 And as recently somebody said, well, what about just learning to 395 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:30,390 be still in meditation and being in gratitude for what you do have? 396 00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,050 Absolutely. 397 00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:32,730 These are not mutually exclusive. 398 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:36,030 So I'll move in and out of, you know, today I went and, um, 399 00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:41,250 When had a long, 35 minute deep meditation session, prayer session. 400 00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:45,900 So I spend time every day in deep stillness and contemplation. 401 00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:49,830 But the rest of the time I'm moving, I'm trying to do things 402 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,030 and trying to make stuff happen. 403 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:51,360 So. 404 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:53,280 Friends. 405 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:56,460 Do not be afraid of success. 406 00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:59,970 Uh, you know, success will mean that things will change for you. 407 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,960 Some things you will have to leave behind some things you'll need to let go of. 408 00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,800 A couple of weeks ago, in an episode, we talked about, you know, Stephen Covey's 409 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,030 quote that, um, you know, the reason you, if you want different things in your life, 410 00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:13,530 you're gonna have to do different things. 411 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:15,420 You have to become a different person. 412 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,300 We see this in cinema all the time. 413 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,270 You know, the hero's journey, Joseph Campbell's hero archetype. 414 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:21,570 Right. 415 00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:25,890 Where we see the Luke Skywalker's, who come from one place don't 416 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:26,910 really know their identity. 417 00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:27,930 They get swept up. 418 00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:32,340 In into an adventure that, that takes them away from all of the 419 00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:36,300 stability and transforms them and changes them into who they really are. 420 00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:40,290 So maybe it's not about a case of sort of radically becoming a different person. 421 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:44,040 Maybe it's a case of becoming radically, who we actually are in the first place. 422 00:19:44,430 --> 00:19:48,150 I'm convinced at the moment that there is just so much potential, 423 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:52,530 so much capacity in every single one of us so much to contribute. 424 00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:55,050 And this fear of success. 425 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:58,530 Rob's the world of all that is in you. 426 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:04,530 So do not be afraid of change to not be afraid of growth, run towards it. 427 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,200 I run towards at my friends because. 428 00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:10,890 You don't want to get to the end of this journey and realize 429 00:20:10,890 --> 00:20:12,570 that the music dies with you. 430 00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:14,790 You don't want to get to the end of the journey and realize 431 00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:16,530 that you stayed safe too long. 432 00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:18,210 You stayed comfortable too long. 433 00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,130 You didn't try things for too long. 434 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,620 One day, the music stops. 435 00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:24,330 All right, everybody. 436 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,160 That's it do not be afraid of success. 437 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,750 Thank you to chin. 438 00:20:28,650 --> 00:20:29,130 Children. 439 00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,230 Oh, my gosh, chin. 440 00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:33,660 chew in a memorize that chin being true. 441 00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:35,970 True from her book thick face black heart. 442 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:37,920 If you can find a copy, I think there are copies on Amazon. 443 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:38,880 It's definitely worth checking out. 444 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:39,540 I really liked it. 445 00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:41,280 Uh, God bless you everybody. 446 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,320 Please make sure you have subscribed. 447 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,160 Book me to speak. 448 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,900 The links are all here in the show notes. 449 00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:49,380 Um, grab yourself some free access to my book, bridging the gap of God. 450 00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:51,630 Bless, should be encouraged to get out there amongst it today. 451 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:52,860 Take some small step. 452 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:57,090 Never leave the scene of a decision without taking action go get them 453 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:01,020 friends my name is jonathan doyle this has been the daily podcast and you 454 00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:02,760 and i are going to talk again tomorrow