It's like drinking poison but expecting the other person to

get sick. So many years I had the right

to not forgive somebody and I had the right to hold them

accountable for what they did and in fact they didn't even really

have any idea that I was doing that, they didn't even care. Try and

understand where and why your forgiveness is

not being given and do yourself a favour and let it

go. Welcome to Krystal Rowe Impact, a space dedicated

to empowering you to be the change that your bloodline has

been waiting for. Join me and together, let's inspire change.

Welcome back to the Krystal Rowe Impact Podcast. And

today we're going to talk about the importance of forgiveness in

our personal healing and growth journey. Now,

forgiveness frees us from the situation. And

a lot of the time we get caught up with owning

the right to not forgive that person. I

only say that because I did that. For so

many years, I had the right to not forgive

somebody and I had the right to hold them accountable for

what they did. And in fact, they didn't even really have

any idea that I was doing that. They didn't even care. They

didn't know that I was still holding this unforgiveness

and this bitterness towards this situation. And

it brings me to think of unforgiveness in

a way that it's like drinking poison, but expecting the

other person to get sick. Isn't

that crazy? You drink the poison, expecting

the other person to get sick. Let

that sink in for a little bit. What do we achieve by

holding on to that unforgiveness?

I think for me that the topic of unforgiveness and

or forgiveness is a really touchy feeling

because there's been a lot of times in my life that

I have had to in

a way let people get away with things. And

I matched that with forgiveness when in fact

it wasn't that at all. And I

think the power of forgiving somebody is

really understanding that you are releasing yourself

from them. It's not giving them

the power or saying that what happened was

okay. It's not doing that at all. It's actually

just saying, you know what, I'm not going to be a part of this situation

and I am freeing myself and

releasing it away. It's like the whole ball

and chain. The person that hurt you or done

something bad to you is the ball and the forgiveness

is the chain and you're holding on to it because

you have the right to. But

when you let that go, just

imagine that. Close your eyes for a second and

imagine a big old dirty stone

ball and a rusty old

chain and having to hold on to that. Visualize

holding on to that with all your strength and then letting

it go. Can you imagine how

freeing that is? And that's

forgiveness. That's letting go. That's

where the power is. And it's within you to

make that choice. I held on to

a lot of resentment and a

lot of unforgiveness or forgiveness, whatever you

want to call it. towards my mum for many years

because I had this idea of a mother-daughter relationship

and for some reason I had to keep showing up

as the mum in that relationship and I just wanted I

guess that nurturing affection and

understanding of a mum. Don't get me wrong, my mum was great in

regards to providing and creating

a home for me, a safe home to some degree.

But when it came down to things, I

ended up being the mom, and it made a huge impact on

my life. And even growing up into my adulthood,

it made an impact on how I parented it as well, until

I realized that that was never going to change.

And I had to understand that. And there's some

impactful practices that you can do around forgiveness,

and one is understanding the situation. And

there are some extreme situations that this will not apply to.

But in general, when you're trying to forgive somebody, and if

you can understand, like I understood that my mum did not

have the capacity or the ability to

see the situation for what it was, I was able to

accept that. And once I accepted that for

exactly what it was, I was able to just

let go, to let go of the control and

the need to have understanding and I was able to

just start living and creating a life

that I wanted, the life that I

wanted to write. And then I

was in a breathwork session, and

I was actually going on my journey, and I

experienced soul ties, and I experienced this

moment where I realized that I was still connected.

And again, just like we visualized the

ball and chain just before, I actually was

able to cut my soul tie and

release all the expectations. And

it really changed my life in that moment. And

it set me free, almost. And it was such an

amazing thing. And that's what forgiveness has the

power to do. It has the power to set you

free. And again, it is not

your fault for the things that have happened to you, but it

is your responsibility to heal. And

part of that healing is forgiving things

that have happened to you. And maybe, just

maybe, they happened for you and not to

you. And that's another realization that I had

that when certain events that took place in my life actually

caused a lot of pain and suffering and actually shifted

and altered my path, the choices

that I continued to make, the coping mechanisms that

I created were from certain

things. I was able to

actually turn that around and

forgive by accepting, acknowledging and

pushing through the pain into a place of

freedom. So forgiveness doesn't mean that

you have to allow that person back into your life either. Forgiveness

doesn't mean that what they did is OK. It doesn't mean

that you are going to be like buddies again.

Forgiveness, again, is just releasing you from them, from

that situation. It's saying, you know what? It

caused me pain. I'm in a place where I need to

forgive you. And I do. But this

no longer serves me. I'm not going to be a part of this. And

you actually have the power to start putting boundaries in place. to

say, I'm not going to be in an environment where I

need to forgive people anymore. Sometimes we need to

take accountability and ask, why are these things happening to

us? And again, it's not the extreme

things of forgiveness that I'm talking to. I'm just speaking in

general around forgiveness. And remember that

unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting

somebody else to get sick. And when

it's really you are the only one that is getting hurt

and continuing to stay in a place of suffering. So

I encourage you to explore and try

and understand where and why your forgiveness is

not being given. And do yourself a

favor and let it go. Because

when you let things go, you create space for

more. more of what you want, more of what you

deserve. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. And

if you need more support, if you're struggling to

forgive somebody, we have some processes that

we go through in the quantum coaching course.

It's life changing. I've done

the work myself and I've experienced being able to forgive

and being able to move on. Remember, forgiving

doesn't mean you're going to forget what they did. It just means

that you are free from what they did. So if you

like this podcast, make sure you give

us a five star review on Spotify and Apple

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