Have you ever made a decision out of fear and only realized it later?

What if the choice between an epidural and going unmedicated isn't actually about pain at all, but about power?

Today we're talking about one of the biggest questions that I hear moms asking about their birth is, should you get an epidural or go unmedicated?

And more importantly, how do you decide in a way that you don't regret later?

Hey Mama.

I'm Trish Ware, also known as a labor nurse mama, and I've spent over 16 years as a high risk labor and delivery nurse traveling the country and supporting women through birth in every kind of situation imaginable.

I've also given birth six times myself, and I've educated over 20,000 women online to help them have their very best birth.

And when I say best birth, I don't mean perfect birth.

I mean a birth where you leave it knowing you understood what was happening around you, inside you, and you were a part of every stinking decision.

And that is my goal for you.

Let me tell you a story.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was terrified of needles, truly stinking terrified.

So when it came down to thinking about whether I wanted an epidural with Ian's birth, I decided this girl going unmedicated.

Not because I understood the physiological side of labor, and not because I had studied the pros and cons.

Not because I had prepared in any kind of strategic way, but because I was freaking scared on my mind.

And here's the the interesting part.

I ended up loving my unmedicated birth and I walked away thinking, wow, that was amazing.

But years later, after becoming a labor and delivery nurse and supporting thousands of women, I realized something about my first birth.

I didn't make that decision from education.

I made it from fear.

And that is not what I want for you.

I don't want you to make decisions from fear.

And after 16 years at the bedside, I can tell you this, I've seen women feel incredibly empowered with an epidural.

I've seen women feel incredibly empowered without one.

It's really up to you, I've seen women regret both choices.

The difference wasn't the medication, it wasn't the pain.

The difference was whether they understood their options and felt involved in the decision.

Regret doesn't usually come from getting an epidural.

It really doesn't, and it doesn't usually come from going unmedicated.

Regret comes from feeling rushed.

Regret comes from feeling pressured into one decision.

The other, it also comes from being uninformed, and it comes from feeling powerless.

So instead of asking which one is better, let's ask a better question.

How do you decide in a way that leaves you feeling confident you not your sister, Sally, or your aunt?

Or cousin you, here are three questions I want you to ask yourself and you can jot these down.

Well, if you're driving, don't maybe a voice memo first.

Do I truly understand the benefits and the trade-offs of both options?

An epidural is a medical tool.

It provides significant pain relief.

It can allow rest.

It can lower stress hormones if pain feels overwhelming, but it can also limit mobility.

It may require additional monitoring and more interventions.

Timing can matter.

A medicated birth allows for full mobility to move around.

You feel the sensations of labor fully hormones like oxytocin and endorphins work together in a very specific way, but it requires preparation, mental preparation, physical preparation, support.

Neither is right, and I would gander that you need to be knowledgeable about both, whichever decision you're leaning towards.

You need to know both because both require understanding.

So the second question, am I preparing for the birth experience?

I say I want, if you wanna go on medicated, you cannot wing it.

Trust me, cannot wing it.

You need tools, you need support.

You need to understand what labor feels like and how to work with it.

If you're planning on an epidural, it's still important to understand how labor progresses, the timing, and how to advocate for yourself.

Preparation breeds confidence.

It creates confidence.

And third, if my plan changes, will I still feel informed and involved.

Because again, here's the truth.

Birth is dynamic.

You are allowed to pivot.

At any point you can prepare for unmedicated and decide you want an epidural.

You can plan on an epidural and decide to wait.

You can change your mind.

The goal is not rigid control.

The goal is informed.

Flexibility.

You are not weak for wanting pain relief.

You're not dramatic for wanting to avoid it.

You are not more strong for one choice over the other.

It's your birth.

You are a woman who's preparing for her birth, and you deserve to be educated, not manipulated.

Not coerced, not fear-based choices.

Education.

Because when you understand what's happening in your body, fear loses its power.

And fear is an ugly dictator.

when fear loses its power, you make better decisions.

So I wanna bring you back to the question I asked at the beginning.

Have you ever made a birth decision out of fear?

Whether you choose to go epidural, go medicated.

I want your decision to come from understanding from a place of knowledge, not pressure.

Not comparison.

You don't have to compare yourself to your neighbor or your mom or someone else's opinion.

That really doesn't matter.

It needs to be from you because the goal isn't a perfect birth.

That's not our goal.

The goal is a birth where you leave saying, I understood what was happening.

I made the decisions.

I was a part of my birth.

Some of you guys know my story, and I actually left Ian's birth feeling like I wasn't a part of it.

Being a part of your birth and of this story in a powerful way is what empowerment actually looks like, and that's what I want for you.

If this episode helped you share it with another mama who's trying to decide, and as always, take a deep breath.

You're capable and you deserve to feel informed and confident walking into your birth.

I adore you.

I see you.

I love you.

I'm here with you as always.

Hit subscribe, leave a review, and I'll see you again next week.

Bye for now.