Raise your hand if you've ever received a crap LinkedIn DM that made you cringe.

Yep.

Pretty much all of us.

But keep your hand up if you think you've also sent one to someone else

and they've had that same experience.

Today, that all ends.

G'Day everyone.

It is Coach Michelle J Raymond, your trusted guide for building your

brand and your business on LinkedIn.

And today we're gonna talk about the thing that I think right now is

causing the most grief on LinkedIn.

And no, it's not even automated comments.

There is something that is driving people bananas.

And when I say people.

I'm including myself in this as well.

What am I talking about?

The direct messages, ie LinkedIn DMs that we receive on a daily basis

that are literally a spam fest.

Honestly, I don't know who came up with the playbook that said, thou shalt send

as many messages, to as many people as possible, and bonus points if you go

and automate it all so nothing's ever targeted to the actual person you're

sending it to, that you don't have to do any research, and then expect that you're

gonna grow your business and have all of these sales opportunities on LinkedIn.

Honestly, where is it?

I would like to go a few rounds in the ring with that person who is recommending

this or the owner of the tools that are promoting this particular process.

I've noticed that it's gotten even worse over the last 12 months as we

do have more and more tools, which as I've shared in a previous episode,

they break the LinkedIn user agreement.

So don't go thinking, oh wow, there's tools that can automate my DMs.

Yes.

And if you go there, you're a fool.

And I can't help you when you lose your account.

So today's episode we're gonna talk about what makes a really crap DM.

More importantly, how can you avoid it?

And last of all, my framework, just to double check your messages before you

send them so that you can make sure that the person on the other side receives

something that they actually wanna open.

I know shocking but true.

There are people that would welcome DMs, if they were

worthy of their time and energy.

After all, LinkedIn is a networking platform people.

We are here to do that.

So let's stop spoiling what is essentially one of my favorite features by really

upping our game on LinkedIn DMs, and we're gonna do that after a quick word

from our podcast sponsors Metricool.

I wanna start with what makes a bad direct message experience

for the person on the other side and for the rest of this podcast.

I'm just going to call them DMs much easier.

I did a bit of research with my audience and my community on LinkedIn and asked

them what things really annoyed them, but I've also been working with some

clients in my Power Hour sessions to help them with their business development

skills on LinkedIn and I realized that I've spent 20 years in B2B sales.

So building relationships and connections is just a part of who I am now.

I've been doing it for so long.

I've been doing it on LinkedIn for 10 years.

So this stuff kind of comes natural to me.

It wasn't until I started to work with some clients that I realised there is one

thing that probably kills the process more than anything else and that is rushing.

The fastest way to kill a sale on LinkedIn is by rushing.

It is by using templates that you send in bulk, to people you've done no research

on, and offering them products or service you don't even know that they need yet.

Often we spend a lot of time on connection messages and

making sure that they're right.

Somebody accept, and then it's like, wham, we are gonna pitch slap you.

So if you haven't heard that term before, it's basically when you send

a message straight after somebody's connected and you say, Hey, buy my stuff.

And the person on the other side is like.

Whoa, we just connected.

Can you slow down?

When you rush your DMs, you skip over rapport building.

You skip over the step where we get to know the person, you skip over

the part where you are finding out if it's the right person that you're even

talking to that can make the decision.

You skip over finding out is there even an opportunity for your product

or services to solve a problem for that person in their business.

When you skip over all of those steps, the people on the other

side, honestly, they end up with messages that are confusing at best.

But after you receive hundreds of them every week, you are just so over it.

And I would say that most people now, when it comes to receiving

DMs are completely defensive.

They can smell your desperation, as Lil would say.

And I agree because the experience for them on the other side

feels like they're being hunted.

Now, I know that it's probably not your intention to come across as

someone that's out to get someone else, but that is exactly how it

feels for people on the other side.

So rushing and sending too many and not slowing down and paying attention, is

really bringing most processes undone.

If you're looking for a templated message approach, I'm

not the right person for that.

I don't believe in them because I've never found two people that are the same.

I've never found two people with the same problem at the same time that

want to hear from you in the same way.

So I believe you can template your connection messages.

I believe you can have a process for following and sending your DMs, but I

wholeheartedly don't believe that there is a template that would work , that

you can just, you know, bulk send out to as many people as possible.

So if you are hoping that, I would say that there was, I'm sorry, but after

this break, I am gonna step you through how the best DM processes work, and I

hope that that will help you even more.

Have you ever heard the saying, slow down to speed up?

When it comes to LinkedIn DMs nothing more could be true.

And think about it, if it was a dinner party that you were going to, the LinkedIn

equivalent is you would walk someone in the door, shove them down in a seat, throw

the dessert at them and push them back out the door as fast as they came in.

That is what is essentially is going on with the speed of the DMs that

are going on on LinkedIn when people especially want to sell, and I appreciate

that you have a business to run.

I appreciate that for many of you, you are in a position where you need leads to

come into your business, but I can assure you 100% with confidence, that if you just

try and speed these things up, you are going to burn through the opportunities

that may have potentially been there.

If we use the dinner party analogy, we're gonna greet our

guests as they come in the door.

So that small amount of chitchat, that rapport building, how was your day?

How's the weather?

Find something that's local or something that you've spotted in their profile, or

maybe you've got some common connections.

Look for the commonality that there is between you and the

people that are coming to you.

That is where you can find something, anything to ask them a question?

No talking at them.

No even mentioning your business.

Okay?

This isn't about you.

You are going to go in with some curiosity to ask something about

them and keep it super light.

Does not have to be heavy.

Don't go into the big details and wanna have a deep conversation with

people, just something light and airy.

Right?

So now they're sitting down at the table.

If they respond to you, then we can keep this going and this is

where we wanna go that next step.

Okay?

So we're just at the entree.

Let's call it a starter, I think it is called in other parts of the world.

What is a little taster?

Find out something more about them.

Find a way to start a conversation so you can understand what a day in the

life of that person is like in their job.

It might be something small trying to understand, you know, have they noticed

something that shifted in the industry?

Have they seen a recent news article that maybe you saw?

Just trying to find out if they work in a big team, a small team,

how long they've been there.

Are they junior or senior?

And a lot of this research can come from their LinkedIn profiles.

Do your homework before you ask questions that aren't relevant.

Now we've done a little bit more and if the person is responding backwards and

forwards, yes, this is awesome, we can take them through to the main meal, and

that is where you can take a pivot, start to talk a little bit more about business.

You've got some of the background.

Again, there's no set number.

There's no rush.

Slow down.

In B2B world, like my sales that I was doing, were taking 18 months to two years.

So sending something all within a week to try and get to the goal

just doesn't even align with the actual processes in the real world.

At some point, my whole goal is to get these people off LinkedIn so I can

have a genuine conversation with them.

And the lighter I leave this and the more helpful and of service I am, the

more success that I have with this.

Now if for some reason they don't respond, don't go into your head and

make it mean something weird, it could be that they just don't get to their

LinkedIn DMs as often as you would hope.

They're busy, they got distracted with a project at

work, out of work, life happens.

Okay?

So don't make it mean anything weird.

From there, if you get them off LinkedIn just start having a

conversation, which is curiosity driven.

They should be the ones doing most of the talking, not you.

Okay?

Don't be the person at the dinner party that does all the talking about

themselves, where everyone else is eye rolling and going, who cares, bro?

Like we don't care.

Just shut up and let somebody else have a chat.

And that's often the experience of what these DMs feel like for people

where it's like one message, after another message, after another message.

Like, honestly, nobody needs that in their life because you aren't listening, right?

You have to take the time to listen to what the other person has to say.

This is where you can hear when they've got a problem you might be able to solve.

But you won't hear it if you are not curious about what it's like for

them, what they're working on, and what are the challenges that they're

having that you may be able to solve.

Ultimately, we're slowing down building rapport, and that

takes as long as it takes.

And for some people, they won't even respond to your first message,

again, doesn't mean anything.

They're probably so sick of hearing bad messages on LinkedIn and receiving

DMs that are just spamming them, trying to sell them stuff, that

they're wary and they're just gonna sit back and watch and see maybe

what content you put out there first.

So always keep in mind that it's their choice on the

other side, but don't give up.

Don't make it mean anything and just keep on going, right?

So if you slow it down, you now can tailor things better.

You can understand if there is an opportunity and therefore you can invest

time and if there's no opportunity, you move on to the next place.

'cause it could just be the right person at the wrong time.

So keep nurturing those conversations, okay?

Find reasons to stay in touch and it is not always, let's just send you a

message so I can say, hey buy my stuff.

As listeners of this podcast, I challenge you to slow down the messages

that you are sending this week, and if you haven't been sending messages,

it's time to get out there and start.

I wanted to create a framework that I think will help your listeners to check

in, that your DMs are going to be well received by the people on the other side

that you want to have a conversation with.

I don't begrudge anybody at all on LinkedIn from doing the work, reaching

out to people with a product or service in mind that they want to try and sell.

Social selling is absolutely amazing when it's done right, and the C.A.R.E

framework, I hope, will help you to again, slow down the process that we've got.

The C.A.R.E framework C is for context.

Okay?

Let people know why you're reaching out, to connect with them and

be open and honest and keep it pretty light and high level.

We don't need all the details.

Don't go deep diving into everything that you do and offer all the

projects that you've worked on.

Just slow down, keep it light so the person on the other, so the person on the

other side knows exactly why you're there.

A is for ask.

And make it a small ask.

You have not earned the rights at the very beginning, in the early

stages to ask for anything big.

Attend my event, download my white paper, come here and do this thing for me.

That is often what the first connection messages are that I

receive from people that infuriate me.

It's whoa, we only just connected.

Like I need time to figure out if I can even trust you if you are

someone that shares my values, if I think you're knowledgeable.

So any ask in the beginning needs to be small.

R, R is all about relatability.

Your job is to find a way to find the common ground between

you and the other person.

And you can find that by looking at content that they've

created and talking about that.

If they don't create content, go to their about section on their profile.

Maybe you went to a similar university or college.

Maybe you've just noticed that you have certain common connections and

you wanna reach out and find, Hey, do you really know that person?

They're a good friend of mine.

Like find a way to establish that common ground.

E is empathy.

It comes up in every single one of my frameworks because your job

is to put yourself in the shoes of the person on the other side.

What KPIs are they working towards?

What are their goals?

What are their constraints?

The more that you can send direct messages, that will help shift the needle

for them on the other side, because the more you're in service, as I say,

over and over and over and over and over again, and I can't say it enough.

When you're in service of your audience, you can understand with

curiosity, what problems they have that you can solve, that they will pay

you to make those problems go away.

That's what business is, and for me, problem solving and helping people

is just social selling at its core.

I hope that this C.A.R.E framework gives you a place to just check in with

yourself and I'll go over it again, context, so they know why you're there.

Ask, make it small.

R relatability, find that common ground, and E is empathy.

Respect their time most importantly.

To wrap up today's episode, listeners, the most important

message that I want to get across.

Is if you slow down your direct messaging process, you will build trust faster.

You'll understand if there is genuine opportunities for you

to collaborate or work with this person, and you'll also discover

more market intelligence beyond that.

Are they in the market to buy right now?

Maybe their contracts are with someone else run out in six

months time, make a note of all of these things that you discover.

Who do they work with?

Who do they report to?

I think when you build trust first and you slow down and do the things that other

people aren't doing with LinkedIn DMs.

Everyone else is sending crappy, spammy template of DMs.

You listeners are not going to be doing that anymore because you've got the

C.A.R.E framework to follow and I look forward to hearing from people that tried

this and slow down and reach out and let me know on LinkedIn how did it work for

you when you actually took some time to get to know the people on the other side.

So until next week, cheers.