Well, hello everybody and welcome to another amazing episode of Unstoppable Success.

This is the podcast where we help you have unstoppable success.

And we hear from amazing guests who share their stories, their tips, their impact, and how they can help you be that unstoppable human in your life and your liberty and your pursuit of all happiness.

So today I have the immense pleasure of having Vicki nestling on my podcast.

I hope I got it said it right because, you know, we were talking beforehand all about the names, you know, because names are so important.

But let me tell you a little bit about Vicki because she is truly remarkable.

She's a speaker, she's a trainer and a coach and she focuses on public speaking and leadership.

She also has an anti aging wellness business.

But she really, you know, one of the key things that she really loves sharing is, is all about leading with her heart.

That the head, the heart and the hand.

And let me tell you, she's truly a remarkable person about when it comes to leading and helping people, you know, lead with the confidence that they need to today and how that helps you also have unstoppable success.

So welcome Vicki.

Thank you so much, Jacqueline.

It's a pleasure to finally be on your show.

We were back and forth and sharing.

So, Vicki, you have had looking at your career, you've done some amazing things and you've worked at a lot of different places.

You worked in corporate.

So how did you go from that corporate life to the unstoppable success you've had now being in public speaking and coaching?

Well, that's an interesting thing because I had no vision of doing this whenever I turned 60 and decided I was going to retire.

I thought the reason I was wanting to retire is I was going to be a grandmother and I wanted to be able to do all things with my grandchild because for me, my grandparents were the son in my life.

They were so wonderful and they were always present.

And so I wanted to be that person.

And so that's also why I started working with an anti aging multi level marketing group because I wanted to be healthy.

I wanted to be able to chase after those grand boys.

And so that it turned out that the business, the products, everything are so wonderful that it was a bonus for me.

But I spent about two years just watching television and catching up and doing gardening and going on some trips.

And I just noticed that in some of my associations with other groups that people just were lacking mentors, they, they were lacking, you know, those people that I was fortunate to have that were there to share about their journey and what really works and maybe kind of guide you from things that you should maybe avoid or understand that failure isn't the end of the world.

It's really just the lesson.

And I just, after two years, I said, you know what?

I need to start to give back.

That's.

To me, that was what my purpose was, that I have all these four decades of experience, and you just shouldn't sit back and have people not be able to understand the different options.

You and I talked before we started, and I knew how impactful it was when I finally realized that 50 that I led in a different way, a different way that was impactful, that really built trust, and it was an authenticity behind it that you didn't ever feel like you were not being who you were.

And people appreciate that.

And so that led me to start my business.

And I first started just.

I thought I'm just going to do some courses online.

And then I thought, well, you know, I need to talk about it, so I, I should do some speaking.

And then the more that I did the speaking and the, the online, I had people that really wanted to sit.

And so that's where the coaching came in.

But the podcast was just a toastmaster project.

I love that.

And it was, you know, just around Covid and I had, during COVID worked with some of the older Parish FAM members, I guess, and I didn't want them to be alone.

And so I said, well, we'll just talk online and have like tea online and things.

And they told me their stories.

And eventually I'm going to have another podcast that's just, it's just a conversation with Vicki where I just have you tell their stories because it's so fabulous that people have these lives and they don't even realize how special they are.

And I think that they should be captured and so that.

That I own the URL.

It's just a conversation.

That's great.

I love that.

So, you know, so let's, you know, success and having that.

I mean, you, you said you didn't have a vision, but you, but you had more, I would say the passion and the heart rate, you know, and so how do you feel that that plays a role and has played a role in both, you know, the corporate success that you did have.

Right.

And because you, you had a great career in corporate to, to where you are now in the.

With the great success that you're having also in, you know, in speaking and sharing your, your leadership with.

And trainings with others.

You know, I think it's why I call my podcast Find you'd leadership confidence.

Because I just saw so many times even in myself as I was growing up.

I was one of seven, the second in line and my older sister was very a personality strong and my younger brother was like a go along with kind of person.

And I was always the middle child type of thing until others came along and then you had to be a leader for these others that came along.

So I, I guess that's kind of started it.

But I never thought I was smart enough.

I never went to college until I was 47 or 45 and, and so I always thought I had to do more, I had to do personal development, I had to prove myself.

And in doing so I think I learned that I did have things to contribute.

And when you see people, when you give advice or whenever you give, suggest how they might try things and it works and this, the joy in their faces when things go well and the appreciation that they have, it makes me feel wonderful.

And I've almost, I always say leadership, the hands part is the service.

And I found that the direction that gave me that I got the most, I guess learning from besides my failures was when I volunteered and I volunteered hundreds of hours and I was so fortunate to volunteer next to CEOs and other C suite people, pastors, people who were from all works of light walks of life.

And it was so in, I guess impressive on me that it was okay to not be the smartest person, that that is the person in the room that learns the most.

Because now you are the observer, you really take in the world and see what do you like and what do you think you should never do.

And I think that's what started to form my leadership style.

But I also realized that it was important for me those mentors that I had that listened to me, not to judge, not to talk, every, you know, just continue to tell me what I should do, how I should do it.

But they truly let me express myself and that just built confidence over time to say, okay, that idea is a good idea, that idea is a crazy idea.

And then you just start to change.

And I think that's the other part of leadership that we have to understand that when we get to be good at one thing, it's time to push to that part.

That's the scary part.

So it was totally different for me to go from corporates, project management, everything scheduled and to being an entrepreneur.

Surely the, the time management skills I learned over the over years helps when you Work on your own.

But it really is to have the courage to say, okay, you don't know everything.

You should reach out to people who can be your coaches.

And I guess ultimately the lesson that I always, always have to go back to is you have to learn to trust your gut.

And, and I think that's a lesson that even when you know it, there are going to be times when you question it.

Yeah, self doubt comes in, self sabotage.

And that's, you know, the next lesson when you don't trust your gut, what happens happens for a reason.

Right.

So I think that's something that I try as I coach people is to, you know, as we're even as we're working on their talk or presentation, does that, do those words feel right to you?

Like, as you're saying them, I see you struggling because if it doesn't resonate with you, if it doesn't feel right, then you shouldn't say them.

Right?

Yeah, it has to, it has to ring true with your, with who you are and the values that you have.

You know, you've said, you said a couple things that I just, I want to remind and they're, they're really key points for listeners, which is, you know, you being able to have people that, in your life, in your career, that helped you without judgment or that didn't pass judgment and express yourself.

And that's, and that's something that I really truly believe that we want to make sure that our listeners understand is that as, as you are leading people and also if you find yourself in a position where you feel you are being judged and this comes to where you, I think your point where the gut, where your gut tells you if you're feeling that in your gut and you're feeling that you're being judged and you're not able to express yourself, that might be a really a good telltale sign for you to either make a shift, either maybe it's not the right place for you to be working, or maybe that person is not the right partner for you to have.

So being able to use that as a sign so that, you know, that's like that sign that says, oh, you know what, we need to do different.

Right?

Yeah.

I recently had a, a big lesson learned.

And again, at 67, I still get them all the time.

And, and even though, and maybe you can appreciate this too.

Even though I coach this, I teach this, we're human, we're not perfect.

And so there will be those times.

So I recently was going for a elected position and I was doing wonderfully and you have to do a two minute speech at the election time so that the voters can finally decide whether or not you are the right person.

And my coaches and my team were telling me I needed to be more global and all this and I was struggling with that.

I thought well, it's people and I talk about leadership and things.

So I was really struggling and I did something that I never do and I asked the coach, I said well, well tell me what I should say.

I, and, and to give me some guidance, you know, what, what, where should I go with this?

I'm.

I'm not finding the words.

And so they wrote down a wonderful speech and it was inspiring and a motivational speech and as I was practicing it I was struggling.

And I never struggle to do a talk.

I never do.

I just.

Because I always talk about what I know.

I always share what is authentic to me and therefore it's not a speech.

I always teach that.

It's just a conversation that you're having with people, whether it's a thousand people or two people or whatever.

And so I am sitting in the audience and two people that were in the race with me got up and did their talk and I sat there thinking the speech is not right, the speech is not right, you should just, just get rid of it and just go up and speak from your heart.

And I walked up the stairs and I started the speech, but it wasn't the right speech.

I didn't listen to my gut.

I didn't.

And I knew as I was speaking it that the audience was like, what is she?

I don't understand why she's doing this.

She was so great yesterday.

What is happening today?

And so I sat down after the two minutes and again it was a great speech.

It just wasn't the right speech.

And I knew it wasn't the right speech and I knew I lost the race at that moment.

And it was a great lesson for me to learn that I, no matter what, no matter who is telling me and as a coach it's really important for me to remember this that I have to make sure that I pull out the best in the people that I coach and I don't try to make them mini me's because it won't resonate with their audience.

They will not be themselves.

So I thought that was a tremendous lesson for me to be reminded again, trust my gut and don't be afraid to change at the last minute.

And I've done that before.

I'm sure you have too.

I'VE got it looked at the audience that I thought, oh, no, they don't need what I got to say today.

They need to hear something different and.

And changed.

But it was fine.

It was great.

That one pivotal moment, I did not listen to myself.

Yeah.

You know, being authentic to ourselves is so important for our unstoppable success.

And you have just re stated that really and, and enhance that because it's.

Because in order for us to go from A to B, we have to, again, we have to trust our gut.

We have to know and it has to resonate with our values.

And you know what?

I'm really surprised the coach that you were working with didn't say to you, Vicki, I see that you're struggling with this.

So obviously something is not right.

Let's, you know, if it's not authentic to you as a coach too, it's like we have to, we have to pull out the things that are authentic our clients and also to help them know where to go with that authenticity.

Because, because, you know, you giving a speech, we, you know, there's a lot of great ways that you could probably have done something that probably felt a little bit better to you.

And, And I, I feel bad that your coach did not pull that out.

So.

But listeners, I think, yeah, really important, like understand that that's also something that's really.

I mean, we.

You need to stick to the values and the things that matter both.

And if it doesn't, if it's not sitting well with you, again, that's a sign.

It's not a bad sign.

It's a sign for you to take a pause a minute and say, oh, this is something I need to change or I need to go a different direction.

Yeah.

And I think too, a couple things.

One of the, as an entrepreneur, as a leader, you really have to embrace community.

There were people that just moments before I sat in my seat, I had an empty seat beside me, and I had passed a few people that I have been on this leadership path for 20 years that would tell me, you know, your face is not looking right, your.

Your makeup's wrong, your.

You just are messing up.

They.

They just tell you like it is.

You know, I need that.

That kind of person.

And I didn't have.

Yeah, that's right.

Not to gross out of it.

I used at my last company, I had a guy who was a southern sweet guy.

He was probably in his 60s, and he said, you need ogre.

You need something when your nose is not clean and you do.

You just need that And I know that if I would have asked any of those people, hey, this is a giant job.

What do you think they would have told me?

That is a WTF speech.

You should not do that.

But I didn't.

So that, you know, and that's why I don't really blow my coach at all, because they were trying to give me a different perspective and it just wasn't right.

And maybe that.

Maybe that was a telltale sign that maybe it wasn't the right time for me to do that, you know, to be in that race.

But, you know, as I said, you need that community and you need those people to be able to tell you the way it is.

But then again, when things don't go right, it's important for me and hopefully for everyone to know that I recognize that it wasn't the right thing and I didn't act.

And part of being a confident leader, that leading with the head part is that you know when to act and went to change.

And so that makes it, you know, my failures are my failures and nobody else.

Yeah, right.

And.

And that's actually a really great thing.

It's.

You know, we have to.

We.

We make our beds and we are the ones that direct the things that we do.

It's not anybody else's fault.

It's.

We do need to take the ownership and understand that.

And that is something that I think also helps us get to that unstoppable success because we can look at what we've done and we can measure, monitor, and adjust what we've done and then move and pivot along that.

And something that you said.

I also really want to bring out, Vicki, that I think is something that maybe people don't realize.

The other key element that is super important with.

With success, and that is the community.

Your tribe.

Your tribe is so important to surround yourself with a group of people that you.

That.

That will be the booger buddy that will help you, you know, with the good, the bad and the ugly.

And having that board of directors, so to speak, you know, who is that tribe that you can rely on, you know, that you want to bring into the fold?

Yeah, it is truly.

And I.

And I think, you know, that's where people.

Leaders kind of fail too, where they think, well, I have to do it all myself.

I can't delegate because nobody can do it as quick, as fast, as good as I do.

But for me, it was always, well, my role is to teach you how to do it, but also learn from you different ways.

I often talk about GPs in our lives where we may have a way to get to that end goal, but someone else may have a different way.

They still get to the end goal.

It's just different.

It's not wrong.

And so I think as leaders, we have to remember that that's part of the, the, I guess, education that I had to change the way that I lead is because I had so many leaders that told me, this is how you do it, A, B, C, D. And if you stray from ABC or D, it's not right and you have to do it over again.

And I was that person that always said, but F will get there.

And, and, and, you know, but what if I'm that what if.

And you know, that's a part of where my speech should the.

The other day is.

I'm that what if, like, what if we did it differently?

You know, what would.

What would it change?

How, how could it be possibly better if we did it completely different than we always have done it?

And, you know, that's pushing people outside of their comfort level.

You know, I think that's why I love AI, because AI to be really effective with it, you have to learn how to ask good questions so that the answers you get from AI are more exacting to what you really need.

Yeah, that's so true.

You know, Vicki, I love what you're doing.

I love the fact that you're helping people lead and teaching them, having their head, the heart in their hand.

It is so important to lead with that authenticity and have the emotional intelligence in that.

It does change.

I think it's such a huge change to leadership.

It's not the end, as you shared, it's not the loudest person in the room, but it's a person who's listening and somebody who's compassionate and understands and brings out the best in others.

Tell our listeners how they can learn more about you, the courses that you offer, and where they can hear you speak.

Well, I am actually going to be speaking next week in Miami at a convention, the IDAS Women Convention.

And.

And then you can see me every week, several times during the Week on YouTube as well as Spotify, all of those places at my Find your leadership confidence podcast, my YouTube channel is Vicky Nethling.

So simple as that.

You can have over 600 episodes or almost 700 now episodes recorded in the last three years and there's about five, 76 out there right now, so tons of content.

But all my content is to connect people with the experts that can help them be more confident to grow Their business, to scale their business to realize that they don't have to do this alone.

You can find me on Facebook.

I can't add any more people though.

I'm at the Max, but it's Victoria Neathling and I'm on Instagram as Victoria as well.

And then LinkedIn is also Victoria, so you can find me all those places.

I love to put content out about leadership, about confidence.

And I hope to do some more courses on how AI is helping me save 40 hours as I do my podcast production so that I can concentrate on other things.

But I speak on.

It's just a conversation to teach people how to be able to not worry over a pitch or presentation, memorize things.

Again, being authentic, speaking from the heart, just having a conversation and then leading from the head.

The heart.

I'm sorry, from the heart, the head and the hands.

The heart is the.

The heart is the empathy, the emotional intelligence that allows you to build relationships, to really connect with people, to understand them.

And then once you have that connection, then it's easy for you to get that head connection, to be able to share vision, share how they can help with the mission and the goals and, and how important they are to those things.

And then they've hands is the servant leadership.

I truly believe that you have to give back more than you get.

Yeah, yeah, that's.

That's so true.

Well, Vicki, I've loved having you on this, on the podcast listeners.

I will have all of those links in the show notes so you can connect with her.

And please do connect with Vicki.

Learn more about what she is doing.

She is truly a remarkable human.

And do me the favor of not only hitting subscribe, but also sharing this episode of Unstoppable Success with your friends, your colleagues and people that you know and love, because there is great wisdom here and Vicki has a lot to share.

So thank you again, Vicki, for being an amazing guest and thank you listeners for being part of the Unstoppable Success journey.

I'm Jacqueline Schrominger, your host, and until next time, be unstoppable.