Holidays are made up.

Holidays don't exist.

The only time they exist

if you get the day off work or you get holiday pay, in which

case, yes, absolutely they're real and they're the realest and you

deserve them a hundred percent.

But outside of that, like holidays don't exist.

We have created this entire social structure around

This idea of things

you are required to observe to either be a good person or

a good member of a family, or

a good whatever.

All of it's bullshit.

We made it all up.

So

you don't want to cook a Turkey for people, you barely, like,

you don't have to cook a Turkey.

And if

if

don't want to spend time with family members who

Vote

against your human rights.

You don't have

do that.

And

if you are spending time

your family to quote unquote keep the peace,

that is not

That's a temporary ceasefire.

You don't have to do it.

There's

idea that like we absolutely have to spend time with people who might be

objectively harmful to us because there is

this like holiday and holidays are the times you spend with family.

You don't have to do that.

If

family's

trash, you

you don't.

If

need

family, I promise

I will nag you on their behalf.

you can reach out to me.

I will make

that you've eaten.

I

make sure you

wear your coat.

I will

sure you wear socks, which

is something I won't even

for

myself.

I don't wear

coats

I don't own

socks.

I'll literally

outside and like zero degree weather without a coat because I enjoy it.

So, but I'll make

you wear a coat and I'll make sure you are not cold and I'll make sure that

you have eaten something and I'll accept you exactly as you are unless you're

a big giant butthead, in which case

I will still accept you as you are.

But I don't have to invite you into my family because my family

is, well, no, my family is full of giant buttheads, but like my chosen

family is not, it's different.

It's different.

I can't pick my family, but I pick day family and they're great.

So you can be part of my family and I will.

Give you all of the love and adoration

you deserve, that you don't get from the who fill up your.

family tree.

And I'm sorry

that.

I'm sorry that you don't have a nuclear family that treats you the way you

deserve to be treated and that loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

I love you if that's enough and I can probably find a hundred

people you don't even know who also love you,

you deserve to be loved,

but

also

There is nothing that you have to do.

The only thing you have to do is.

pay taxes and get your driver's license renewed.

If you wanna drive a car,

like those are things you have to do.

You probably have

pay your bills, you probably have to pay your electric bill.

you probably have to do those things, but like.

Putting

plant inside your house and hanging ship from it, you don't have to do that.

You

can if you want to,

you enjoy that, you can.

You don't have to, you don't have to bake

cookies

you don't like.

You don't, I watch my mother-in-law do this every year.

They have all

these traditions,

which Somebody on LinkedIn said to me yesterday that traditions are

just guilt from dead people, which

fantastic

A plus.

I love that.

But my mother-in-law and she likes doing it well, I don't actually

know that she likes doing it.

She does it, she feels bad when she doesn't do it.

And I think she likes not feeling bad more than she likes relaxing.

So there's that.

But I watch her

her make.

Tons and tons of things that are like family traditions that

she has to do every single year.

She has to do them exactly the same.

And if she misses one thing, somebody freaks out and

it's like a whole ass thing.

And

it's so much work and it exhausts her she is exhausted by the time

she's on the other side of whatever part of the process that she's in.

and she doesn't even like a lot of the stuff that she makes.

She just makes it 'cause it's tradition.

And

year I'm like, you know, you don't have to do this.

And every year she's like, yes I do.

I have to do it for my children.

No, you don't.

Your children are grown ass

Give 'em a recipe,

they

figure the fuck out.

And also

children would tell her that.

So it's like, it's fine.

Some, some of 'em actually have figured it out, so it's okay,

but like.

There is nothing

about.

The last two months of this year, if you're in the US you know that

as soon as we hit the middle of November, it's basically January

because all it is is holiday

shit from November 15th, basically.

Actually, really once you hit

Halloween, as soon as Halloween is over, it's like it's crystal snow and I'm

just realizing like I'm rattling off a whole bunch of quote unquote holidays

that like are basically uniquely.

United States things.

So I'm

here that outside of the country you guys like get the last half of the year.

Like you get to have it.

We don't.

We wrap it into all this

shit

that makes everybody miserable.

I have never met anybody who is excited and I'm sure this person exists.

This maybe representative of the people who

I attract

my own relationship with my family,

I will

completely own up to that,

but I

never met anybody who's like, yeah, Thanksgiving.

I mean, aside from all of the horrible implications of Thanksgiving,

the people who have

family things are stressed about the big family things.

The

who don't have big family things

often feel bad

that they don't have big family things like

it is all made up.

None of the things that we quote unquote celebrate on

Thanksgiving actually happened.

We stole

bunch of land from a bunch of indigenous people.

That's what we did, and we eat Turkey and corn as a result of

this horrible thing that we did.

You do not have to observe it.

You can skip it.

You can skip

it and still watch trash hallmark movies

because they don't require any brain power.

You

still escape to a Christmas tree farm in rural Connecticut.

Does Connecticut even have rural?

I don't know.

That's where I'm assuming.

Maybe it's rural Tennessee.

I don't know.

But you can still escape to an imaginary Christmas tree farm that

somebody took over after he decided

quit his job as an investment banker

to only remeet

the love of his life

in the middle of that random Christmas tree farm that she's not

supposed to be at because she's running away from her fiance.

That's the plot of every movie.

You

still enjoy that bad movie because I am not here for obligatory traditions,

but I'm here for bad movies.

You could pick and choose

which

of this are important to you, and it, none of it has to be important.

And if you are without a

who loves you and respects you and treats you well this time of

year, which you absolutely deserve

one, you can come

part of mine or two.

I've heard of

a lot

really cool organizations that like put people together for the holidays

a googly and see if there's one of those around you.

And if you have any questions, there's like 7,000 ways you can reach us

on the podcast page so we can help

connect you to things.

But I'm just saying.

Staying home in your soft pants or your even softer pants or your no pants,

totally fine.

, rather than doing things that you've been told you're supposed to do, but

nobody can tell you why other than the fact that you're supposed to do them is

akay.

There is no metal.

For tolerating bullshit from people who don't treat you well and you

are allowed to skip all of it

if you like.

I

have had a year

so hellish that the idea of.

Procedural academic work in

name of tradition makes you wanna full vomit.

Skip it world outside is a toxic hellscape.

Find something you enjoy and do that instead.

Thanks for being here guys.

Have a good day.

Love you meeting.