[Inaudible] Good morning.
Speaker:Afternoon and evening for everybody who is online today with me.
Speaker:Thank you for joining me. For those of you who don't know me,
Speaker:I'm Dr. John Demartini and I'm going to share
Speaker:the amazing power of the method that I've developed over the years.
Speaker:I'm going to start off by saying that when I was 18 years old and I
Speaker:was learning how to read, because I had learning problems as a child,
Speaker:my uncle sent me a giant couple crates of books to
Speaker:my home. And two of the books that were sent,
Speaker:one was by the Nobel prize winner, Paul Dirac,
Speaker:and it was on particle physics.
Speaker:He was the one who founded the idea of particles and antiparticles being
Speaker:balanced initially in the universe.
Speaker:And then there was also one by Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz or Leibniz, who
Speaker:wrote a book called the Discourse on Metaphysics.
Speaker:And when I read the Discourse on Metaphysics, he said
Speaker:first paragraph, that there was a perfection in the universe,
Speaker:a magnificence in the universe that few people ever get to know,
Speaker:but those that do their lives are changed and transformed forever,
Speaker:for the rest of their life. When I read that,
Speaker:somehow it brought a tear to my eye.
Speaker:I'm sure you've had a moment when you've read something or heard something or
Speaker:viewed something that brought a tear of inspiration to you.
Speaker:I couldn't quite put my finger on or grasp what it was,
Speaker:but I just knew that I knew that there was something there that I wanted to go
Speaker:and explore. And I've used since I was 18,
Speaker:that tear of inspiration as a guidance to kind of navigate through
Speaker:life of what I want to study and learn and what I was going to do,
Speaker:because it gave me an insight about when I'm authentic. When I'm authentic,
Speaker:I get that tear of inspiration as a confirmation.
Speaker:And when I'm pursuing something that's clear and I'm trying to put a puzzle of
Speaker:life together, that's a very powerful, useful tool.
Speaker:After reading that, I went on a pursuit to try to find this quote "perfection",
Speaker:this divine perfection as he called it,
Speaker:he was a mathematician and philosopher and theologian.
Speaker:When I read Paul Dirac's book on particle physics,
Speaker:and I saw that there's for every particle, there was an anti particle,
Speaker:and that if you join them together, a particle and anti particle,
Speaker:a positron and electron, or any particle and anti particle,
Speaker:you birth light. And in my naivety at the time, I thought, wow,
Speaker:if particle and anti particle, complementary opposites
Speaker:because one's a thesis, one's an antithesis,
Speaker:if they could be synthesized synchronously and birth light,
Speaker:I wonder what would happen if I was to put the positive and negative experiences
Speaker:of our life and emotions in our life, happy, sad, kind, cruel,
Speaker:all pairs of opposites, if they were to be synthesized synchronously,
Speaker:could I birth enlightenment?
Speaker:And could I discover the hidden order in the apparent chaos?
Speaker:I went on a pursuit and I started studying physics and
Speaker:chemistry and mathematics and psychology and brain research.
Speaker:And it took me to every ology that you could study.
Speaker:And I found common threads to these different disciplines.
Speaker:Will Durant said that there was a dialectic sitting in every field.
Speaker:And I found that to be true.
Speaker:A dialectic means a thesis and antithesis synthesis,
Speaker:opinions and opposite opinions joined together to make more objective truth.
Speaker:I started to pursue psychology, brain research, and
Speaker:as I went along,
Speaker:I started to realize that every time we perceive something and judge something
Speaker:as positive or negative, they were always birthed out of contrast.
Speaker:Wundt, W U N D T who was a psychologist at the time, way back, William
Speaker:James, over 100 and something years, 125 years ago,
Speaker:said that there was a study of psychology that led to the realization that there
Speaker:was always opposition and synchronicities of opposites,
Speaker:he called it the law of contrast.
Speaker:And Heraclitus in the fifth century
Speaker:BC mentioned the same thing and many people,
Speaker:many philosophers through the ages mentioned this. And this stuck in my mind,
Speaker:because it seemed to show up in chemistry, in physics,
Speaker:in math and everything else I found,
Speaker:trying to balance the equation in mathematics, balance
Speaker:balance the nuclear physics, balance everything,
Speaker:I thought somehow there's an inherent objective balancing
Speaker:mechanism going on in the brain. The research was pointing to it. Contrast with
Speaker:sensory systems.
Speaker:I realized that when I was thrown off from being centered in life,
Speaker:and I was infatuated with something,
Speaker:I was conscious of the upsides and unconscious of the downsides.
Speaker:And when I was resentful to something, I was conscious of the downsides,
Speaker:unconscious of the upsides. But when I saw both sides simultaneously,
Speaker:I was neither up nor down, I was centered.
Speaker:And I was neither shamed when I was infatuated with others or proud when I
Speaker:was resenting others, I was authentic. And I thought, okay,
Speaker:this is the first principle that I want to incorporate into what I'm going to
Speaker:call the Demartini Method. Originally, it was called the Retro Genesis Process,
Speaker:later it was called the Collapse Process based on quantum physics and collapsing
Speaker:the wave function by Schrödinger. Then it was called the collapse,
Speaker:I guess they call it the Demartini Collapse Process.
Speaker:Eventually I realized that that was confusing people,
Speaker:and I just turned it to The Demartini Method,
Speaker:everybody just started calling it that anyway.
Speaker:And so I started to put two principles together.
Speaker:I realized in myself that whenever I was judging somebody and
Speaker:criticizing somebody, looking down on somebody, if I was really honest,
Speaker:I found out that the thing I was judging them for was something I was actually
Speaker:feeling ashamed about.
Speaker:And I was judging and pointing my finger out at them and actually three of them
Speaker:were pointing back at me. You know, it's the old problem that,
Speaker:pluck the mote out of your own eye before you pluck it out of somebody else's
Speaker:and look inside yourself before you look at others that way.
Speaker:And I decided to go to the dictionary, the Oxford dictionary,
Speaker:which is the biggest dictionary I could find at the time,
Speaker:the smallest little prints, thinnest little paper,
Speaker:most comprehensive dictionary.
Speaker:And I went through every human behavioral trait that I could find
Speaker:that a human being could display.
Speaker:And I circled each behavior as I went down the page,
Speaker:this is a long project here.
Speaker:And as I came across the word that described a trait that I would
Speaker:consider a human behavior, some action or inaction or trait or behavior,
Speaker:I then thought of who is it that I know that displays that trait to the most
Speaker:extreme example. And I put their initials out there.
Speaker:And then I thought to myself, kind of where, and when do I display that?
Speaker:And I looked inside my life and really reflected cause reflective awareness,
Speaker:which is self-inspection,
Speaker:introspection is one of the greatest awareness we have,
Speaker:it's what distinguishes us from the animals in a sense,
Speaker:there is a non-reflective consciousness and,
Speaker:non reflective consciousness is observant of the world around you,
Speaker:like an animal can see the environment,
Speaker:but he can't see itself look at the environment,
Speaker:but self-reflective awareness is being able to look at yourself in the
Speaker:environment, looking at the environment.
Speaker:And I looked at myself and I realized that the individuals that I had imagined
Speaker:being the most extreme example, I looked for where and when I displayed that,
Speaker:and it was not hard to see, I,
Speaker:I realized that I actually did and did display those same behaviors.
Speaker:And I went through, believe it or not 4,628 traits.
Speaker:And I discovered I had them all. I was nice at times. I was mean at times,
Speaker:I was kind at times, I was cruel at times, I was considerate, inconsiderate,
Speaker:thoughtful, thoughtless, peaceful, wrathful, nice, mean, kind, cruel,
Speaker:considerate, inconsiderate. I was honest, dishonest.
Speaker:I was putting on with pride and arrogance and then shame and humbleness.
Speaker:And I went through and I found out that I did every one of them at different
Speaker:moments in my life, if I was really honest and I didn't want to be honest,
Speaker:I wanted to put on the proud face and pretend like I had gotten rid of some,
Speaker:I actually was bought into at that early stage, that self-improvement,
Speaker:that I was going to get rid of half of myself and get only one sidedness.
Speaker:It wasn't until age 30 that I finally realized that was futile.
Speaker:I realized that everything that I thought I'd gotten rid of,
Speaker:I realized I still surfaced and I was repressing it, and then it would explode.
Speaker:When I finally realized, I realized it's better to just own the traits.
Speaker:It's interesting how we want to be loved for who we are,
Speaker:and yet we're trying to get rid of half of ourselves and we want to love other
Speaker:people, but we want to get rid of half of them.
Speaker:And we want to love the world and want to get rid of half of it.
Speaker:And that's just absolute idiocy when you think about it,
Speaker:you're not going to do it. And I found out that I never got rid of a trait.
Speaker:I never really gained a trait cause I traced those traits all the way back to my
Speaker:childhood and I continued to have them.
Speaker:And I realized that these biological traits,
Speaker:these behaviors were absolutely essential and there was a biologic reason for
Speaker:them. I realized that I needed kind and cruel at different signs because when my
Speaker:values, my hierarchy of values were supported, I was nice, a pussycat.
Speaker:When my values were challenged, I was cruel.
Speaker:And I needed both of those because life has both support and challenge.
Speaker:Maximum growth and development occurs at the border of support and challenge.
Speaker:Ordering and chaos,
Speaker:living at the edge of chaos is one of the principles in evolutionary biology.
Speaker:When I finally realized that I put together the very
Speaker:first phase of the Demartini Method.
Speaker:That was where you make a list of every trait action or inaction that
Speaker:you can admire or despise about somebody.
Speaker:And you make sure that that list is balanced,
Speaker:because our first assumption is that there's way more negatives than positives,
Speaker:or way more positives than negatives or whatever, resentful, or infatuated,
Speaker:but this is holding you accountable.
Speaker:Accountable is able to bring a balance sheet to your mind and being accountable
Speaker:to see that balance.
Speaker:So I made myself look at where the individual that I'm
Speaker:disliking for instance,
Speaker:and I'd rattled off all the negatives about them that I dislike,
Speaker:I gotta go find as many positives of that. And when I looked, I found them,
Speaker:I had just chosen not to look.
Speaker:I had a subjective bias as a survival mechanism to keep me from looking for the
Speaker:both sides.
Speaker:And I wanted to label the person and archetype them instead of embrace them
Speaker:as one and had all the traits in life.
Speaker:And when I went and made myself accountable to write
Speaker:the negatives that make sure that those numbers were balanced,
Speaker:and if I saw way more negatives, I got to go look deeper, I found them,
Speaker:I found that they were both sides.
Speaker:And then I found out that not only do I have them,
Speaker:but so do the people around me.
Speaker:And then I went and I looked at where and when I displayed and demonstrated
Speaker:those behaviors. Now, initially it was kind of cursory.
Speaker:I just looked at where did I do it and I wasn't really precise. And I just know,
Speaker:yeah, I've done it. But I, I now know,
Speaker:go to exactly where it was and when it was.
Speaker:I now ask the individual in the Demartini Method,
Speaker:go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual, pardon me, yourself,
Speaker:display or demonstrate the same or similar behavioral trait, action,
Speaker:inaction that you despise, or like admire most.
Speaker:And go in there and identify where it is, when it is,
Speaker:to who it is and who's perceiving you do that.
Speaker:And that gets an episodic moment out of your brain and locks in a neuro
Speaker:associative complex, neurologically, which is essential to transform the brain.
Speaker:And I made myself accountable to find what I saw in other people.
Speaker:And the reason why I resented them is because it was reminding me of something I
Speaker:had done in the past that I felt guilty about.
Speaker:And I didn't want to deal with that and I didn't like being around them because
Speaker:they reminded me of me that I was judging.
Speaker:And sometimes I was too proud to admit what I saw in them,
Speaker:inside me and I wanted to avoid them and label them and
Speaker:bias my perception of them instead of look at the balance of them and see them
Speaker:as an individual, I'd put a persona,
Speaker:mask on them about who they are instead of embrace them as a whole human being.
Speaker:And when I was admiring somebody,
Speaker:I was too humble to admit what I saw in them was inside me, but I had it.
Speaker:And that was very powerful cause then I realized that whatever I admired in
Speaker:them, in any human being, a great hero or a great villain,
Speaker:that I'm too proud to admit, by God, I've got all that in me.
Speaker:At the level of my soul, nothing's missing in me, cause I'm not judging.
Speaker:The soul is a state of unconditional love. At the level of our senses,
Speaker:things appear to be missing because we're too proud or too humble to admit what
Speaker:we see in others inside ourselves, and those disowned parts,
Speaker:those too proud or too humbled personas that we have and the projected
Speaker:personas we project onto people are not really truths.
Speaker:They're just our biases and those biases weigh us down gravitationally,
Speaker:keeps us in bondage.
Speaker:Because anything we infatuate and resent occupy space and time in our mind and
Speaker:run us, irrespective of time or space, we could be run by our emotions 20, 30,
Speaker:40 years later, cause we never resolved them, never balanced them.
Speaker:And I realized that as long as I'm infatuated,
Speaker:cause I've had infatuation I couldn't sleep at night,
Speaker:it was preoccupying my mind. Being resentful, where I
Speaker:preoccupying my mind.
Speaker:Only when I centered myself and brought myself into perfect balance,
Speaker:synchronously,
Speaker:that I was able to rest and actually get centered and I required less sleep when
Speaker:I found that, mastered that.
Speaker:So I first made a list of all the specific trait, actions,
Speaker:inactions that this individual displayed or demonstrated that I admired or
Speaker:despised most.
Speaker:Then I looked at where and when did I display and demonstrate the specific
Speaker:trait, action,
Speaker:inaction in my own life and I'd level the playing field and realize I was no
Speaker:longer too proud or too humble to admit what I see in them inside me.
Speaker:And that was with the first level of reflective awareness. And then I realized,
Speaker:that as I honored myself,
Speaker:how are you going to be loved for who you are if you keep exaggerating and
Speaker:minimizing yourself and you don't even allow yourself to be yourself.
Speaker:I found when I was myself, I was grateful. I was inspired. I was loving.
Speaker:I was present. I was certain, I had inspiration,
Speaker:and those were confirmations of being authentic.
Speaker:But as long as I was looking down on somebody or looking up at somebody,
Speaker:I wasn't being me. So that was the first two steps of the Demartini Method.
Speaker:Then I realized that the trait, action,
Speaker:inaction that I initially admired or despised that I thought had
Speaker:upsides without downsides or downsides without upsides,
Speaker:where I split my consciousness into conscious and unconscious halves,
Speaker:the thing that I thought was up, had downsides and the
Speaker:had upsides. I realized, and I watched that in my clients,
Speaker:if somebody would come to me and say, 'Well,
Speaker:my father was really cruel to me and mean to me.' And then I found out that they
Speaker:became entrepreneurs, capable of being independent, resilient,
Speaker:and adaptable and driven. And I found out the other person said, 'Well,
Speaker:my mother was very nice to me,
Speaker:never cruel to me.' And then I realized that you became dependent and then you
Speaker:expected everybody to be like your mother.
Speaker:And then you became juvenile and you couldn't even ask questions to yourself,
Speaker:you had to offload the responsibilities onto mommy and you never grew up,
Speaker:and I've seen men stay with their mommies when they're 50 years old.
Speaker:And I realized that nice is actually mean and the mean has actual nice.
Speaker:And I realized that those were illusions that people were having.
Speaker:And then I also realized the things that we think are terrible a day, a week,
Speaker:a month, a year or five years later,
Speaker:we realized that there's some terrific hidden in that, and we look back and go,
Speaker:thank you, that, I didn't see it. But I,
Speaker:I now have the wisdom of the ages because of the aging process, but I can,
Speaker:if I do the Demartini Method, have the wisdom of the ages without it,
Speaker:don't have to wait 20 years to find out that the thing is a blessing.
Speaker:Find the blessing by looking. The quality of your life is based on
Speaker:the questions you ask,
Speaker:the Demartini Method is a series of questions that
Speaker:make you aware of the unconscious part.
Speaker:So your unconscious is always trying to reveal to you the side you're ignoring,
Speaker:your intuition is trying to do that.
Speaker:So if you're infatuated with somebody your intuition is trying to point out the
Speaker:downsides, the part you're unconscious of.
Speaker:And when you're resentful to somebody it's trying to find out the meaning,
Speaker:the upsides, so you're fully conscious and the part you're unconscious of.
Speaker:And so I realized that when I look carefully and ask questions,
Speaker:so go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or
Speaker:demonstrating a specific trait, action, inaction that you admire or despise,
Speaker:and what's the downsides of the thing they admire and what's the upsides of
Speaker:that, and made you accountable, hold yourself accountable to see both sides.
Speaker:The moment you do, they don't run you.
Speaker:Instead of being extrinsically driven as a victim of history,
Speaker:you now become a master of destiny and realize you have control over your
Speaker:perceptions, decisions, and actions.
Speaker:And that's very profound when you finally be accountable and be objective.
Speaker:Objective means neutral in that respect and balanced and extracting meaning out
Speaker:of the thing is finding the mean, the balance between the polarities.
Speaker:And so your life has meaning every time you do that.
Speaker:So I realized that this thing that I thought was terrible in them,
Speaker:that I resented, wasn't.
Speaker:The thing that I thought was so terrific that I was admiring, wasn't.
Speaker:It was just an incomplete awareness.
Speaker:And when I actually realized that nobody's worth putting in pits,
Speaker:nobody's worth putting on pedestals,
Speaker:but everybody's worth putting in hearts and have reflective awareness where I'm
Speaker:not too proud or too humble to admit what I see, and I see both sides of it,
Speaker:and I'm balancing the equation.
Speaker:In the first phase of the method I'm balancing the equation between self and
Speaker:other, the second I'm balancing the idea of positive and negative,
Speaker:in self and other.
Speaker:And then I'm balancing out the polarities of charged polarity.
Speaker:It's called charged parity law in conservation law in physics.
Speaker:And then I realized, you know, instead of me just judging them,
Speaker:the real truth is I,
Speaker:I watched the situation of my resentment to somebody one time,
Speaker:then I looked inside myself where I'd done it.
Speaker:And once I found the benefits where I had done it to whoever I had done the same
Speaker:behavior to, I found myself not resentful to the individual. I realized that,
Speaker:gosh, my resentment to myself,
Speaker:my shame is actually causing me to resent somebody else that's reminding me of
Speaker:it. And I want to avoid them.
Speaker:And I realized that our impulses for pleasure and our
Speaker:amygdala is skewing our reality and not allowing us to appreciate what's
Speaker:actually there. And there's something magnificent there,
Speaker:there's a hidden order there,
Speaker:there's a love there that Leibniz was trying to say.
Speaker:So I needed Paul Dirac's particle and anti particle physics and mathematics to
Speaker:help put this model together. But I needed Leibniz to guide the path,
Speaker:the dharmic path as the Buddha says, towards something that had deep meaning.
Speaker:As Victor Frankel says in the concentration camps he found meaning,
Speaker:when every body else was dying, he survived.
Speaker:He thrived instead of just survival.
Speaker:Then I started to go in there and identify wherever I had done the behavior,
Speaker:look back of where and when I did it and looked how it served or disserved,
Speaker:if I was infatuated with myself and proud, I looked at what was the downside.
Speaker:So I calmed down my pride because if I don't calm myself down and don't have
Speaker:self-governance on my own pride, I attract physiological,
Speaker:psychological sociological or theological events to humble me,
Speaker:pride before the fall.
Speaker:And if I don't do the opposite when I'm shamed and look at the upsides of it,
Speaker:I get again, physiological, psychological things lift me up.
Speaker:Nature's always trying to equilibrate,
Speaker:Saint Augustin mentioned that in his theology,
Speaker:the will of God is equilibrium when the will of man matches the will of God or
Speaker:will of man and woman, humans, match the will of God, is graced,
Speaker:his life is graced, grateful. So I started going there and look at where,
Speaker:and when I did it and helping my clients do that.
Speaker:And then I realized that they were carrying around shame and guilt and pride,
Speaker:and those are all personas. They're not real.
Speaker:They're exaggerations or minimizations of who we are.
Speaker:And the magnificence who we are as a total is far greater than any
Speaker:fantasies or nightmares we'll put on ourselves.
Speaker:So as I started to neutralize it,
Speaker:I noticed that as I knocked out all my shames of all my guilts that I was
Speaker:resenting in other people reminding me of,
Speaker:I noticed my self worth went up and I was willing to hold onto money,
Speaker:hold on to, have fair exchange and not give away stuff and I also noticed,
Speaker:I was now willing to actually start having money work for me instead of me
Speaker:always working for it and buying things to feel better about myself.
Speaker:So that was a major breakthrough when I finally realized that self-governance is
Speaker:what my executive center in the brain is trying to do,
Speaker:is trying to mitigate the impulses and instincts of the subjective biases and is
Speaker:trying to wake me up to the magnificence and the hidden order in my life.
Speaker:Because all these things that I'm doing and they're doing,
Speaker:no matter what I've done, or no matter what they've done, we're worthy of love,
Speaker:and that's very powerful when you finally get that.
Speaker:That's what the Demartini Method's about,
Speaker:to help you realize there's something magnificent in your life and you don't
Speaker:need fixing. You don't need self-improvement. You don't need it.
Speaker:You just need to wake up because you only think you make a mistake when you
Speaker:compare your actions to somebody outside that you've given power to,
Speaker:whose values that you've injected.
Speaker:And you only think other people make mistake when you
Speaker:them and expected them to live in your values, they can't live in your values,
Speaker:they live in their own. You can't live in other people's values,
Speaker:you live in your own. Then I realized another thing,
Speaker:I realized over time, that I heard a lot of people label people.
Speaker:My mother was always mean, never nice.
Speaker:And I noticed cancer patients had black and white,
Speaker:all or none labels and language. I noticed that all the way back when I was 24,
Speaker:when I was working as the president of the Cancer Prevention Control Association
Speaker:in Houston, and I was going, wow,
Speaker:the most primitive physiology,
Speaker:the most extremophilic state of brain and cellular physiology,
Speaker:is an absolute extremes. And so I thought, well, that's a subjective bias.
Speaker:When an animal is out in the wild it's camouflaging itself from others,
Speaker:and it's being camouflaged by its prey and predator. And in order to survive,
Speaker:it has to have false positives, exaggerate it in order to get the adrenaline up,
Speaker:strong enough to chase the prey and to avoid the predator.
Speaker:So I realized that whenever I hear people say all or nones,
Speaker:I know they're under high survival mode.
Speaker:And they're really literally polarizing their view to all the way to infinity
Speaker:over one and one over infinity, all or none. And I realized that's not,
Speaker:that's not,
Speaker:there's no phenomenological world that you can existentially touch that's
Speaker:infinity. So when I hear that, I knew that's a lie.
Speaker:So I started to ask the question, where is the other side?
Speaker:Because if somebody is not always nice, I've gone up to people and said,
Speaker:'Would you consider yourself always nice never mean, always kind never cruel,
Speaker:always positive never negative, always peaceful, never wrathful?' And they go,
Speaker:'No.' They can't have certainty about that, cause it's bullshit. And I say,
Speaker:'You're always mean, never nice. Always cruel, never kind, always wrathful,
Speaker:never peaceful?' 'No.' 'If I said to you sometimes you're nice,
Speaker:sometimes you're mean, sometimes you're kind, sometimes you're cruel,
Speaker:sometimes you're positive, sometimes negative, sometimes you're peaceful,
Speaker:sometimes wrathful, would you believe me?' And they go, 'Yeah.' I say, well,
Speaker:you only have certainty about yourself when you realize the two sides,
Speaker:the balance of those, objectively, not subjective biases that are survival,
Speaker:but objective thrivals.
Speaker:So I basically went in there and I realized and started going and asking the
Speaker:question,
Speaker:go to a moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or
Speaker:demonstrating the specific trait, action,
Speaker:inaction that you admired or despise most. Okay there.
Speaker:Now who are they demonstrating it to? Okay to you,
Speaker:they're cruel to you or you know, critical of you or something. Okay.
Speaker:Now go to a moment where and when you perceived the same individual displaying
Speaker:or demonstrating the exact opposite behavior to you, praising you.
Speaker:And if they're critical about the way you're managing money,
Speaker:where are they praising you about managing money?
Speaker:I made people accountable to look at examples in their
Speaker:and pretend it didn't exist and made them accountable to look,
Speaker:and they discovered that the individual that they had labeled as always
Speaker:something, always positive, always negative or whatever, weren't.
Speaker:There were times when they were supportive and times when they were challenging,
Speaker:and times when they were kind and times when they were cruel,
Speaker:when you did things that supported their values, they were kind,
Speaker:when you did things that challenged their values they were cruel.
Speaker:And I'm that way, and you're that way, and we are that way as a human being.
Speaker:We have a set of values, if we get supported, we can be pussycats.
Speaker:If we get challenged strong enough, we can be tigers.
Speaker:We are not one sided individuals. We're not personas, masks,
Speaker:facades. We're a whole being. And I want to be loved for a whole being.
Speaker:I don't want to be loved for only one side because I can't sustain it,
Speaker:so I'm going to be sitting in bipolar states.
Speaker:And bipolar condition's a byproduct of monopolar addiction,
Speaker:the addiction to one sidedness and our society and all your life,
Speaker:your grandmother probably said, be nice, don't be mean, be kind, don't be cruel,
Speaker:and then she'd beat the hell out of grandpa and was a hypocritic. So you're,
Speaker:you're told one thing that people live another,
Speaker:and I'm not interested in these moral hypocrisies,
Speaker:I'm interested in human behavior and how to master your freaking life.
Speaker:And I'm not interested in all that. I found that as Dirac said,
Speaker:back when I was 18, he says, it's not that we don't know so much.
Speaker:It's we know so much that it isn't so. We're taught the opium of the masses,
Speaker:the fantasies that make us easily controlled and governed into a
Speaker:self depreciative state, striving for an unattainable goal. The Buddha says,
Speaker:the desire for that which is unobtainable and the desire to avoid that which is
Speaker:unavoidable is a source of human suffering.
Speaker:And so we've been told that all our life,
Speaker:but I'm not interested in the fantasies of traditions and conventions.
Speaker:I'm interested in how human behavior works.
Speaker:I spent 47 freaking years working on that. And I'm absolutely certain,
Speaker:you're an objective being with both sides. And it's a waste of time. And I mean,
Speaker:a freaking waste of time to try to get rid of half of yourself. And I,
Speaker:and I have to pound that into people's head in my Breakthrough Experience
Speaker:because people are addicted to fantasies and then they make nightmares out of
Speaker:their life trying to be something they can't,
Speaker:expecting others to be something they can't, expecting others to be one sided,
Speaker:not going to happen.
Speaker:When you finally embrace both sides and see that the individual's got both sides
Speaker:and balance the equation, the labels go away.
Speaker:And then you understand the individual and you want to know them about their
Speaker:values, because if you know what their values are,
Speaker:you can know what to expect from people.
Speaker:Otherwise you're going to feel betrayed, and they don't betray you,
Speaker:you do with unrealistic expectations of one sidedness,
Speaker:expecting them to live in your values, not their own, expecting to be one,
Speaker:one sided creatures, which isn't going to happen.
Speaker:Not in a world that requires support and challenge for maximum growth,
Speaker:not going to occur. Then I realized something 20 years ago,
Speaker:something pretty profound.
Speaker:One of the most profound realizations of my life when I was studying cell
Speaker:physiology, I started studying redox reactions.
Speaker:And I noticed that for every oxidation,
Speaker:which is a loss of electrons to some atom molecule or ion there's a gain
Speaker:of an electron somewhere else, which is a reduction. And one is an oxidation.
Speaker:One's a reduction. And redoxes occur simultaneous,
Speaker:they're entangled like particle and antiparticles,
Speaker:and a light bulb went onto me.
Speaker:And I realized that this is oxidative phosphorylation is one of the mechanisms
Speaker:of energy in the body and life itself depends on it.
Speaker:An excited atom has to go back to a ground state to give us energy.
Speaker:And I realized that's what photons in the world,
Speaker:that's what the sun is doing for us,
Speaker:for cyanobacteria and up the food chain all the way to the alpha predator.
Speaker:And I realized that wow,
Speaker:I latched onto an insight and I realized,
Speaker:and I started for the next couple of years,
Speaker:I went on a research on myself again,
Speaker:and I looked and all of a sudden two things had popped;
Speaker:something I wrote when I was 24 in my 'Illusional Basis of Man's Health and
Speaker:Disease' text on how perceptions are dealing with contrast,
Speaker:Wundt's idea in psychology that I read at 22, 23,
Speaker:and all of a sudden this light bulb just went on. I'm like, Oh,
Speaker:I can't believe I missed this.
Speaker:And I started to realize something that in Neuron Magazine in 2016,
Speaker:another discoverer found out about it.
Speaker:This is 16 years later after I'd found it,
Speaker:found out that there's memories and anti memories and that there's electronic
Speaker:and molecular chemical balancing going on in the brain,
Speaker:even though the pharmaceutical industries have sold you a bill of goods and it's
Speaker:a biochemical imbalance, the freaking truth is that's not fact.
Speaker:And it's not a causal relationship to depression in psychiatry like they want to
Speaker:sell you. You have perceptions, you can change your chemistry in seconds,
Speaker:in billisecond,
Speaker:you can change your chemistry by changing your perceptions and attitudes of
Speaker:mind. This is what William James was trying to say. And Wundt.
Speaker:So I basically discovered something. I realized that if I go to a moment where,
Speaker:and when I perceive an individual displaying or
Speaker:trait action, inaction, some specific traits that I despise or admire,
Speaker:and I get where it is, when it is,
Speaker:and I get really present with it because I realized that the conscious and
Speaker:unconscious mind splits at the moment of perception.
Speaker:And if I get really present in that moment,
Speaker:at that exact moment and find out where it was, when it was,
Speaker:that I perceived it, and what is the content of my perception?
Speaker:What am I judging? And what's the context, what's it about?
Speaker:So they may be criticizing me about my management of money,
Speaker:how I spend money or manage money. And in that moment,
Speaker:if I look carefully at what they're doing,
Speaker:and I look for the reflective opposite, the complimentary opposite,
Speaker:the exact opposite behavior at that moment, lo and behold,
Speaker:my mind has the answer to who is doing the opposite to me,
Speaker:it was a mind blowing realization.
Speaker:I call it the Great Discovery because it's the greatest discovery ever made in
Speaker:psychology. And I realized that it's either in reality or virtual reality,
Speaker:it's one or many, male and female, closer or distant, virtual or real.
Speaker:And if it's done to you, it's somebody other than you.
Speaker:If it's done to somebody other, it could be you.
Speaker:That means that whatever's going on in your life, there's a pair of opposites.
Speaker:So if somebody is criticizing you, there's somebody praising you,
Speaker:but you're unaware of it. When you're conscious of the criticism,
Speaker:you're hurt and you feel angry. If you're conscious of the praise,
Speaker:you're pleased and you feel pleased. But if you see both of them together side,
Speaker:you realize that you're actually being given a moment of love.
Speaker:Love is a synthesis and synchronicity of complementary opposites.
Speaker:When you realize that that's all that goes on, 24 hours a day.
Speaker:We have what is called a stream of consciousness as William James says,
Speaker:and moment by moment, sliver by sliver, every billionth of a second or whatever,
Speaker:a trillionth of a second, there's a sliver of conscious freezing you might say,
Speaker:and we snapshot our reality and we gather information and we create what is
Speaker:called a neuro associative complex in the brain from sensory input.
Speaker:We then associate it with previous experiences that
Speaker:you might call it a memory or a moment of perception.
Speaker:And in that moment, whatever the content of that perception is,
Speaker:the brain in order to neutralize the chemistry is because of the excitation of
Speaker:neurons. It has to balance it,
Speaker:the chemistry or otherwise it gets a runaway noise in
Speaker:of what they call brain noise.
Speaker:What happens is the brain creates a composite opposite
Speaker:opposite. And when I finally realized that,
Speaker:and I looked at that and I asked where it was for two years, I did it on myself.
Speaker:And I did hundreds and hundreds of cases,
Speaker:thousands of cases of moments in my life,
Speaker:where I saw what was going on and where in my mind.
Speaker:And when I did cases in rape and beatings and torture and things of that nature,
Speaker:when I had clients that had gone through really quote, "traumatic experiences",
Speaker:I found out that they dissociated and created a composite opposite in their
Speaker:brain to counterbalance the chemistry in the brain in order to maintain
Speaker:homeostasis. And so they were dissociating,
Speaker:while they're being beaten for instance,
Speaker:they would go and imagine themselves invincible, when they were in darkness,
Speaker:they'd see light, they'd feel like they're, they're constrained,
Speaker:they'd see freedom and act like a bird or a butterfly or fly or something.
Speaker:And I watched these dissociative states,
Speaker:the content of the dissociated state was counterbalancing the state that they
Speaker:were experiencing in their so called trauma.
Speaker:I also noticed in ecstatic drug use,
Speaker:the ecstatic would create paranoias of the opposite.
Speaker:And I realized that the mind is always maintaining pairs of opposites.
Speaker:When I discovered that and proved that, thousands of cases in my own life,
Speaker:and then clinically working with clients,
Speaker:I discovered what I think is one of the greatest discoveries of human
Speaker:psychology. And we live in a zoology of psychologies, it's a zoo,
Speaker:perpetrator, innocent victim model.
Speaker:And so we are separating causalities and blaming other people and no therapy
Speaker:will ever be complete till cause equals effect in space time.
Speaker:And so what happens is I went in there and I went in and identified exactly
Speaker:where it was when it was, what it was, content context, who it was to,
Speaker:and I looked for the other side and I found it every time.
Speaker:I found it was either real or virtual,
Speaker:but I found that it was complimentary opposites. And man,
Speaker:I got tears of gratitude and I saw the same thing I got when I got with Leibniz
Speaker:when I was 18 and I just went wow, this,
Speaker:this is too profound not to share. It's just too profound.
Speaker:And then I started clinically working with people with my method
Speaker:more and more.
Speaker:And I put it into the Breakthrough Experience where I begin to teach people
Speaker:this. And the Breakthrough Experience I've done 1,107 times,
Speaker:to try to get this message out to people because people are caught in this
Speaker:fantasy and opium of quote "self-improvement" and get
Speaker:try to be one sided in this moral constrained hypocrisy that we live in.
Speaker:And we subject ourselves to traditions and conventions that are antiquated,
Speaker:and aren't really human behavior at its highest, highest and finest.
Speaker:And when I finally put that into place and put that in the Breakthrough
Speaker:Experience, I watched transformations in people's lives.
Speaker:I saw people see things they never saw before and all of a sudden,
Speaker:when they saw the pairs of opposites, their heart opened,
Speaker:and I realized that love is truly a synthesis and synchronicity of any
Speaker:complimentary opposites. So whatever you perceive, the opposite's there,
Speaker:and when you're doing something to somebody,
Speaker:I looked again and when you were mean to somebody who was nice,
Speaker:when you were nice, who was mean,
Speaker:when you're rejecting somebody who is wanting them,
Speaker:when you're stealing something who was being generous, when you were generous,
Speaker:who was being stealing?
Speaker:I blew people's minds by making them aware and show them that their intuition
Speaker:always has that answer. We have what is called sensory awareness.
Speaker:Then we have an intuitive, noospheric awareness, and most people,
Speaker:I call it the immanent mind and the transcendent mind
Speaker:higher mind, or the unreflective mind,
Speaker:the pre reflective mind and the reflective mind,
Speaker:depending on who you want to read their writings of.
Speaker:And I realized that we have access to vast amount of knowledge and can find the
Speaker:hidden order in the chaos. When I was 18,
Speaker:I also read Boltzmann's work and Einstein's on a Brownian movement.
Speaker:And I thought he never was satisfied with the idea of it just random systems.
Speaker:I always believed that randomness was just not knowing all the variables and all
Speaker:factors as Pascal described in his work.
Speaker:So I basically sat there and I tried to find the hidden order in the apparent
Speaker:chaos. And by God, when I found six and 13,
Speaker:columns 6 and 13 of the Demartini Method,
Speaker:and I found these synchronicities of opposites, I found a goldmine. And man,
Speaker:it's hard,
Speaker:it's hard not to share that with people because they run their life
Speaker:as victims of history. Instead of masters of destiny,
Speaker:they think there's chaos and their life is burdened and they don't see life on
Speaker:the way they see it in a way. But when I show them this,
Speaker:they realize there's nothing there out of order. They're graced,
Speaker:they have meaning, they find the mean,
Speaker:the pairs of the pairs of opposites joined. And there's enlightenment.
Speaker:There's an aha. There's an inspiration. There's a metaphysical jump.
Speaker:There's a, there's a, a true spirituality.
Speaker:Spirituality is not a tribal thinking and not an anthropomorphism of some
Speaker:religious dogma that's antiquated set up on Ptolemy's and Aristotle's view of
Speaker:the world with primum mobiles, that's antiquated. Spirituality has no race,
Speaker:creed, color, age, or sex limitations. It's transcendent.
Speaker:It has no local language monoglotic constructs.
Speaker:Its massively more vast than that. And,
Speaker:and I feel that we no matter what your background is, what your tradition is,
Speaker:there's a way now of discovering the magnificent intelligence of
Speaker:the universe, the pan psychic intelligence,
Speaker:the implicate order as David Bohm would describe
Speaker:in the universe, by asking the right questions.
Speaker:The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask,
Speaker:cause questions make you conscious of the unconscious.
Speaker:And then I went one step further on the next column.
Speaker:And I I realized that as long as we were comparing our life to a fantasy of
Speaker:one sidedness, we aren't gonna appreciate our life.
Speaker:So I had to crack the fantasies and the nightmares that it was leading to.
Speaker:So what I did is I said,
Speaker:go to the moment where and when you perceive this individual displaying or
Speaker:demonstrating the specific trait, action, inaction that you admire or despise.
Speaker:Let's say you despise. And at that moment,
Speaker:if they have done just the opposite of what you thought they did,
Speaker:that you despised and you admired that, what would have been the drawback?
Speaker:And I make them go into that moment.
Speaker:So that's where the moment where their intuition can answer that question
Speaker:without speculation. And go in there, what would be the drawback?
Speaker:And when they answer that, they go to the drawbacks of that.
Speaker:They break the fantasy of how it could and should have been, cause the could,
Speaker:should, and would have been's or whatever is interfering with the way it is.
Speaker:Anytime you compare your reality to a fantasy of how it should have been,
Speaker:you're not grounded in reality. What it is, is what it is.
Speaker:How does that serve you? How is what's happening right now,
Speaker:fulfilling your life? Not how has it, how is it should be like it used to be,
Speaker:or should be like I want it to be, or fantasize about it, but how is it worth?
Speaker:By cracking the fantasies,
Speaker:which is Column 14 in the Demartini Method and the nightmares,
Speaker:because when we're admiring somebody,
Speaker:if we were actually frightened of it's opposite,
Speaker:if we found the benefits of the opposite, we not only dissolve the infatuation.
Speaker:Cause when we infatuate with people,
Speaker:we minimize ourselves and then try to live in their values and then self
Speaker:depreciate.
Speaker:So infatuations are just as devastating to mastery of life as resentments.
Speaker:And both of them occupy your mind and run you.
Speaker:So I clear those in the last columns.
Speaker:And those are the first 14 columns of the Demartini Method.
Speaker:There's about 70 columns in this whole method,
Speaker:I'm not going to take the time to go through all, but those are the main ones.
Speaker:And then I went on further and I realized that there's another eight comms
Speaker:dealing with gain and loss.
Speaker:I realized that we only perceive loss of things we infatuate with.
Speaker:And we only perceive gain of things we, when we're infatuated with it,
Speaker:but if we all of a sudden aren't infatuated with something,
Speaker:we don't fear it's loss. See if we're infatuated with somebody,
Speaker:we fear they're going to leave us.
Speaker:If we're resentful to somebody we fear they're going to come close to us.
Speaker:If we're resentful to somebody, we hope they leave us.
Speaker:We look forward to leaving us. We're not, we're not frightened of that.
Speaker:And when we're resentful to somebody, when we're not resentful to somebody,
Speaker:we don't have a fear of them coming near us.
Speaker:So we're going to be run by external worlds by when we judge.
Speaker:So I developed further in another eight columns,
Speaker:how to dissolve grief and relief and how to dissolve these infatuations and
Speaker:resentments and how to realize nothing's missing in your life.
Speaker:And I've taught that now I've taken three,
Speaker:no 3,576 people who've
Speaker:lost loved ones and shown them how to dissolve grief.
Speaker:And it's an average about one hour, one hour and 15 minutes to two hours,
Speaker:max of three hours. And it's a science, it's reproducible.
Speaker:It's been studied now at Keio University in Japan.
Speaker:It's been demonstrated in hundreds, and hundreds, thousands of cases. And man,
Speaker:anyway, that's another eight columns plus 14,
Speaker:that's 22 columns right there of human transformation and it's
Speaker:profound. And when you're done with it,
Speaker:all you can sit is sit in awe with a tear in your eye. You'll have gratitude.
Speaker:You'll have love. You'll be inspired. You'll be thankful. You'll feel certain.
Speaker:You'll be present. And you realize it was,
Speaker:there was a hidden order in the apparent chaos, a magnificence.
Speaker:And this is what Leibniz was saying. My dream of finding that thing,
Speaker:that Leibniz said,
Speaker:that sense that I was destined to find that and be one of those people to do
Speaker:that. Once I found a science to that, and now I can share that,
Speaker:there's no human being that can't have that.
Speaker:There's no human being that can't have the ability to see both sides and see the
Speaker:synchronicities of opposites and be grateful for their life.
Speaker:Everything is ultimately on the way.
Speaker:I really believe that the universe has panpsychically intelligent and doing what
Speaker:it can to assist us in doing something magnificent with our life,
Speaker:to help us live authentic and inspired lives. And some people think, well,
Speaker:that's crazy, because they're victims.
Speaker:They want to run the story and they want to blame things.
Speaker:I've never seen blame of an external source causing you whatever this
Speaker:delusion you have. And some heroes, some fantasy individual, some,
Speaker:some saviour on the outside to save you, a magic bullet,
Speaker:like the magic bullet in medicine. Those are bullshit.
Speaker:They're not what makes it happen. The hero out there is not outside you.
Speaker:The villain out there is not outside you. They're completely inside you.
Speaker:And they're not even really heroes and villains.
Speaker:They're two parts of your nature that you must have in order to master your
Speaker:life. Anyway, I could go on for longer,
Speaker:but I just wanted to share the magnificence of that
Speaker:development of the method that I've now taken thousands,
Speaker:literally tens and tens of thousands of people through.
Speaker:And I hope to share that with you live so you can get to see yourself cause once
Speaker:you learn it, you'll realize it's not something you're going to throw away.
Speaker:You're going to put this into your life and use it over and over again.
Speaker:And we've got a new app that's soon going to be released about it,
Speaker:but please find a way of coming and learning,
Speaker:come to the Breakthrough Experience or whatever to learn how to put it in
Speaker:operation, because this is a very powerful tool. It's real true science.
Speaker:I've worked very hard on it for 47 years and it works.
Speaker:It freaking works and it's revolutionizing psychology. It is.
Speaker:And it deserves to,
Speaker:because of what's going on in psychology and in psychiatry is not doing the job,
Speaker:but now we have something that can. So I just wanted to share that with you.
Speaker:I hope you have a wonderful day and you may have to watch this a few times.
Speaker:I probably spoke a lot faster than you wanted, but I just,
Speaker:I just wanted to share that because it's my life's work. And so that,
Speaker:but that's the 22 sections out of about 70 or so more columns that I put
Speaker:together on every,
Speaker:I'd want to find the solutions to mastering life and the
Speaker:human behavior. And I,
Speaker:and I know this is something that you're going to put into your life,
Speaker:It's going to be helpful to you.
Speaker:So thank you for spending time with me and being with me on this particular
Speaker:presentation, The Amazing Power of The Demartini Method.
Speaker:So I look forward to seeing you at the next little gathering we have,
Speaker:conversation that I get to share. Okay.
Speaker:Have a super incredible day and think deeply about what I said and find a way of
Speaker:learning how to do the method. It will change your life.
Speaker:Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.
Speaker:If you found value out of the presentation,
Speaker:please go below and please share your comments.
Speaker:We certainly appreciate that feedback and be sure to subscribe and hit the
Speaker:notification icons.
Speaker:That way I can bring more content to share more to help you maximize your life.
Speaker:I look forward to our next presentation. Thank you so much for joining me.