Welcome to the Real Life Weight Loss Podcast, where we cut through the confusion and get down to the truth about what really works for real people.

When it comes to losing weight, having incredible health, and a body that you love, we believe that losing weight is really about gaining life, doing things you never thought you could, having renewed confidence, and enjoying your body more than ever.

I'm your host, Corey Little.

Now let's get to it.

Hello, friend.

Welcome back.

This is episode number 373, and today I'm going to talk about two mistakes that you probably want to avoid when it comes to weight loss and just life in general.

This was all inspired by a conversation more and more so, an interaction that I had with a client recently.

So we'll get into all that, but first, may I ask for a small Christmas gift?

I know, that's.

How dare I, right?

How dare I do that?

But I would be absolutely honored if you would take 60 seconds to rate and review this podcast.

If you've never done it before.

Oh, my gosh, it would just touch my heart so much.

Or maybe even if you rated it in the past, I'm pretty sure you can do it again.

I didn't know that, But I'm.

I'm 99% sure you can.

Apple podcast allows you to rate and then write a short review.

Spotify only allows you to rate.

Just click anywhere from one to five stars.

Hopefully not one star.

Hopefully not.

But you can't write a review on Spotify, so it's just super quick.

You just click the number of stars and you go about your way.

Again, I would just be absolutely honored if you took the time to do this.

I know you're busy.

I know this is a super busy time of year.

It would mean the absolute world to me.

So thank you so much in advance.

Now, let's get to today's episode.

I had a recent interaction with a client, and this client had a conversation with a friend of theirs.

And I think this friend kind of seems to naturally maintain a healthy body weight, or what we would call a quote unquote, healthy body weight consistently.

And maybe it just appears from the outside, they don't struggle with food or, you know, overeating or anything like that.

And my client said to their friend, oh, my gosh, like, I wish I could feel satisfied eating as little as you do, because then I could just lose weight so fast.

And their friend responded back and said, well, I mean, you can.

And my client said it was a very quick interaction, but that it really just irritated her and kind of offended her.

And this person went on to say, you know, she hasn't struggled with food like I have.

Well, the.

There's so much within this.

So much within this brief little interaction.

But there's two things that I'd like to share on today's episode that I think could be really helpful for you in general, if you're someone, regardless of which side of this you're on.

Like, if you're the person saying, well, hey, you can do it too, or if you're the person going, wow, that really kind of rubs me wrong, and that irritates me.

Regardless of where you are, regardless of how long you've struggled with weight loss, regardless of where you are in your journey, there's two things that I want to point out to you and hopefully pull back the curtain a little bit and maybe share what's going on behind the scenes, maybe in our brain and within us, and then just kind of find the truth amongst all of this.

So here we go.

Number one, the first thing I'd like to share is to watch out for times when maybe you're assuming or belittling and you won't even mean to do it.

You don't mean to do it.

You're not.

You don't think you're making an assumption, and you certainly don't think you're belittling this person or what they've done.

But it can happen before you know it.

Now, here's what I mean by that.

In this interaction with these two people, one person just assumes something about the other person, and they just assume that it's easy for them.

And we do that.

Sometimes we see someone else who succeeds and excels in a certain area of life, and we just assume it's easy.

Maybe it's not.

Maybe that person is putting forth tremendous effort right there, right then and there.

Maybe it's something they've worked hard to develop over the course of their life.

It's basically the whole, like, oh, must be nice comment or mentality that some of us, you know, have sometimes, oh, it must be nice, you know, to have this or to do this.

I hear it all the time with my wife.

She's a teacher, so she's off all summer long.

And people will say, oh, it must be nice to have all summer off.

And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's a loaded statement, right?

Like, sure.

There's some situations in life where must be nice applies.

It must be nice to be so tall.

Well, sure, yeah.

Okay.

You know how tall you are.

That just happens or it doesn't happen, right?

Some people are taller, some people are shorter.

You can't really control that.

But when it comes to other things in life that require work and choices and effort and discipline and decisions and prioritizing when it comes to those things, saying or thinking it must be nice is a massive oversimplification.

And here's the thing, it's crippling to you and it's probably insulting to them, even though you might not mean it that way at all.

Your comment can easily come across as belittling the effort that they put in daily, or maybe the effort they've put in over time to gain the skills that they currently have.

I have a dear friend who I've mentioned on the podcast before, and he is really good at a bunch of stuff that I'm really not good at.

Like, he is great with carpentry and plumbing and electrical work.

There's pretty much nothing that he can't do when it comes to work around the house or even building a house.

I mean, he's incredibly skilled.

I am not.

And so I'm seeing basically the end product for him of years and years and years and years of work and learning and developing these skills.

And it would be so easy for me to look and be like, oh my, must be nice, must be, must, must be nice to know how to do that.

But that's me making an assumption that it just comes easy for him.

And it's also me belittling all of the time and energy and effort that he's put in to attain those skills, to learn those skills and acquire those skills.

So the first thing I would love for you to take away from today's episode is to watch out for those times when maybe before you even know it, you just make an assumption or you belittle where someone's at in life or what they're doing in a skill that they maybe have worked really hard to acquire.

Next up, number two.

I think it's really important, and this is a man.

This.

We could do an entire series on this, but because it runs deep into, especially into the United States culture and society right now.

But boy, that's a big lead up, isn't it?

The second thing I want to share is that multiple things can all be true at the same time.

We live in such a polarizing world and a polarizing culture that almost demands that you take sides.

And it's really a shame, but sadly, it fits perfectly with our all or nothing thinking that a lot of people struggle with this all or nothing, this or that mindset.

It's either A or it's B, and there is no C. It's either black or it's white.

It's either right or it's wrong.

And.

And there is no option C. And actually there almost always is a C and sometimes a D and maybe an E and an F and many more options and many more things that are true.

Now, in the scenario that I'm discussing today, this interaction that my client had, we can see this in a lot of places.

It can be 100% true that this person's comment to my client was not well received.

And it might leave my client feeling kind of sad or mad or discouraged.

Totally.

I totally get that.

I totally see that.

But it's also 100% true that the other person didn't have any bad intentions.

They didn't mean it that way, and they were also just kind of speaking the truth when they said, well, you can do it too.

It's also 100% true that losing weight isn't just as simple as eating less.

Like, how.

How dare someone say that?

Like, it's struggled with this my whole life.

It's not that simple.

Right.

So losing weight is not as simple as just eating less, but at the same time, it is that simple.

Now, I know this sounds totally contradictory, so let's dig in.

Hang with me.

I'm going to explain, and hopefully you can see how both statements are indeed actually true.

So let's take the first one.

Losing weight isn't.

Is not as simple as eating as just eating less.

Well, correct.

I've often said that the solution is simple, but the implementation of that solution can be very complex.

Let me read that again.

I don't want anyone to miss this, because this is.

This is foundational when it comes to weight loss, weight maintenance, especially for anyone who struggled to do it.

The solution for losing weight is really pretty simple, especially when you understand the science behind it.

It's not rocket science.

It's pretty simple.

The solution is simple.

But the implementation of that solution, actually doing it, actually putting it into play in your life, can be very complex.

If we bring it back to my friend that knows how to build a house from the ground up, he could say, oh, Corey, it's pretty simple, man.

Like, you know, you clear your land, you pour the foundation, and then you frame it up, and then you, you know, you run your electrical work, you wire the house, and, you know, then you run your plumbing, and then you, you know, I think they call it drying it in or you know, do this, do that, you put the roof on, blah blah, blah.

And he could just walk me through the steps in probably like two minutes.

And it sounds really simple, but that's building a house.

The implementation of that is incredibly complex and it can be incredibly difficult to do.

Losing weight and maintaining your weight loss is exactly the same.

I can lay it out to you here, super simple, super quick, but doing it can be incredibly complex and really difficult to do.

So when we say losing weight isn't as simple as just eating less, that's correct.

To lose weight, yes, over time we must consistently eat less food, less calories than we use.

So yeah, that's true.

But the problem is our food choices and food habits are just, they are not just logical choices.

It's this big intertwined maze and kind of a mess where all of these different things come together and intersect and they all impact one another.

Your past, your personal history of weight loss attempts what your parents model for you or didn't model for you, what your parents said to you, what other important people in your life have said or done, what other, what important people in your life have not said or not done.

The way you were talked to about your body, maybe growing up, maybe by your parents, maybe by peers and classmates, maybe by a boyfriend, maybe by a girlfriend, or what others said about you or your body or your weight.

And all of that comes together to over time form the beliefs and recurring thought patterns that you have when it comes to losing weight and your ability or inability to do so.

And just your body and body image and self esteem in your beliefs on what is required to lose weight begins to be shaped by these things and what you have to do.

I have to do it this way, Nothing else will work.

Or it has to be this way.

What, what you think it should look like, what weight loss should look like and what it should feel like, and how restrictive you maybe have to be and how you know, how strict you need to be with your diet and how fast it should happen and what you should weigh and how quickly you should lose the weight and if, should it happen every week or every few days and what your goal weight should be.

Do you notice all the shoulds here?

All of these things get formed in your brain.

They're the beliefs and recurring thought patterns that you have.

And we haven't even talked about emotions or emotional regulation yet.

We have our past, our personal history when it comes to weight loss in our body.

We have the beliefs and recurring thoughts that we've picked up along the way.

But we also have strong emotions, strong emotions related to life and what's happening in our life, but also in relation to our body and how we look and how we're eating or not eating and what we're eating or what we're not eating.

And our brain impacts our choices, and then our choices from a biochemical standpoint impact our brain and our.

Our internal ecosystem, our biochemistry inside our body.

And all these things play off of one another.

And then there's anxiety and stress and overwhelm and celebrations and busyness and worries and everything in between.

And if we struggle to navigate these emotions, then we'll reach for help.

And that help can come in many forms.

Drugs, alcohol, shopping, or food.

Regardless of the form, essentially what we're doing is reaching for something to help us cope.

Something external to try to fix the internal state.

Something external like food, to help us temporarily numb, soothe, or escape.

Because what we're experiencing feels too big or too scary or too something else.

Pick your adjective.

And we just feel totally overwhelmed by it.

So, yeah, losing weight is not as simple as just telling someone to eat less.

Well, just eat less and move more.

Yeah.

Gee, thanks.

It really doesn't feel that simple.

And that's why I put out these podcast episodes, and that's why I have a coaching group.

Because it's not just that simple.

The implementation is not just that simple.

However, at the very same time, it is that simple.

To lose weight, we must, over time, consistently eat less food, less calories than we use.

It's basic math.

It's pure science.

It's just like your bank account.

If you put in more money than you spend and your bank account goes up.

If you put in less money than you spend, well, your bank account goes down.

And it may feel mysterious or unfair or surprising at times.

Like, what?

How did.

How did we not save money this month?

How did we lose money this month?

It may feel weird, but it's just math.

And you can ask any accountant and they can show you exactly where every penny goes.

Weight loss is the same.

Consistently eat less than you use and your weight goes down.

Consistently eat more than you use and your weight goes up.

It's simple to understand, but it can be hard to implement.

But just because it can feel hard to do it doesn't mean it's not true.

It's absolutely true.

Here's what else is true.

You can do it.

And I don't mean that as some empty motivation from some rah rah podcast host, like, hey, you can do it.

Yeah.

No, no, no, I mean this in a very sincere way.

Maybe in a way that almost rubs you wrong.

Like the interaction my client had.

Look, if someone telling you that you can do it too.

If you say something like, well, I wish I could eat less and lose weight like you do, and then someone responds and says, well, you can.

Up to you.

If that interaction offends or irritates you, I get it.

Because you may feel like they're just oversimplifying what you've been experiencing.

I've been doing this a long time and I know it doesn't feel that simple.

However, at the same time, if that comment or interaction offends you or irritates you, then it should be a red flag that maybe, just maybe, you don't believe it.

You don't believe that you can, that you can do it too.

And while that may seem totally true on the surface, it's just not helpful.

It's like, yeah, well, you can, you can do it too.

It's just up to you.

It's like, gee, thanks.

Do you know how hard I've been trying over here?

But just because it's not your experience, just because your experience has been really difficult and really hard doesn't mean that that statement isn't true.

So here's what I encourage you to adopt instead.

When you're faced with this, someone saying, hey, you can do this, you can do it too.

If they can do it, you can do it.

When you're faced with that, maybe shift your mind to this.

I don't know how to do that yet, but I can learn how.

I have the power within me to learn and grow and gain new skills.

Now.

It seems easy for them and I get may not be that easy for me.

It's really tough and it feels almost impossible for me right now.

But that doesn't mean it is impossible.

It just means I don't know how to do that yet.

I just need to learn and practice and I can get better and I can accomplish this.

I can do this.

Oh, my friends, that mindset literally opens your brain to the success that you want to have.

It literally opens your brain to, to possibilities that you've maybe been closed off to before.

On the other hand, as long as you don't believe that you can just like anyone else, well then it will never happen.

It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Your brain will not allow you to do things that deep down you believe are impossible for you.

Years ago, when I was a trainer and I used to train people when I was, when I was much younger.

I trained a lot of college students.

I trained a lot of college men who really wanted to bench press more.

I was a bodybuilder at the time.

I was pretty strong on the bench press.

So a lot of guys would come to me, hey, Corey, I really want to bench 250.

I really want to bench 300.

I really want to bench 400.

Whatever.

I said, okay, what's your bench press max?

Now they would tell me and I had this really, what I believe was a kind of a unique method and unique experience.

We would warm up and then once they warmed up, I would not let them look at the weight that I put on the bar.

Now that sounds weird and dangerous.

I was there spotting them.

It wasn't dangerous.

They were going to be perfectly okay.

But I made them sit on the edge of the bench, staring straight ahead, and I would load the weight up and I wouldn't tell them how much weight I'm putting on the bar.

And I would stair step it up gently.

And almost every single time, the person would max out with more weight than they told me they could do.

Why?

Because, number one, they didn't know how much it was.

Their brain wasn't telling them they couldn't do it.

Number two, they had the confidence of me, their trainer, their coach, being there to spot them and overseeing the process.

And it shattered their beliefs.

It shattered their preconceived notions of what they could and couldn't do.

For many of you, this is exactly where you are in your weight loss journey.

You have preconceived notions and ideas and recurring thoughts and beliefs around what you can or can't do when it comes to losing weight.

And unfortunately, it's not serving you.

And it's just maybe not true.

Or at least we can say it doesn't have to be true.

Because yeah, maybe you don't know how to do this yet, but you can learn.

And you have the power within you to learn and grow and to gain new skills.

And while it may seem easy for other people, don't just assume it's easy.

It maybe it wasn't.

Maybe they have put forth tremendous energy and effort and discipline to learn those skills.

But guess what?

You can put forth that energy and effort and discipline to learn the skills.

And it may feel tough for you and almost impossible at times, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

It just means you don't know how to do it yet.

And that's okay, my friends.

That is okay.

So let's do a quick review Number one, watch out for assuming and belittling translation.

Don't just think that being in shape or being fit or losing weight or maintaining healthy body weight, don't just think that comes easily for certain people.

Sure, maybe that's true sometimes, but more often than not, those people are either putting forth way more effort and energy and discipline than you realize, or they've put forth the effort in the past to learn the skills and ingrain healthy habits that serve them.

Like most good things in life, it doesn't just magically happen.

We have to prioritize it and make it happen.

And number two, please realize, when it comes to losing weight, when it comes to you, when it comes to life in general, multiple things, even things that might seem contradictory, can all be true at the same time.

Losing weight isn't as simple as just eating less, but at the same time, it is that simple.

The solution is pretty simple, but the implementation of that solution can get pretty tricky and sometimes be downright tough to do.

But that doesn't mean you can't do it.

I hope this has been helpful.

I hope you'll share it with someone and the two or three of you will discuss it.

And I hope if you didn't do it earlier, then maybe I can sweet talk you.

I can convince you to take just 60 seconds to go rate and review this podcast, either on Apple Podcast or on Spotify.

It would truly mean the world to me, and I just want to thank you in advance for that.

I also want to thank you in advance for your time and I want to remind you to always remember and never forget that you're so much more than a number.

And yes, losing weight's amazing, but losing weight is really all about gaining life and living the life you've always wanted to.

So don't let the scales creep up in your head and dictate your mood for the day.

No, no, no.

There's so much more to you than that.

And even if you struggled in the past, hey, it's okay.

You just don't have this skill yet.

You just need to learn the new skill.

You need to put forth the energy and effort to learn the new skill.

And I know you can do it.

It may feel impossible and you may have tried and failed many times and you don't believe in yourself.

That's okay.

You borrow my belief.

You keep coming back.

I'll keep doing my best to put out content that's helpful for you and we will get you there, my friends.

I hope you have an amazing day.

Thank you so much for spending some of your time with me.

Take care.

God bless.

Bye Bye.